Archive of Our Own ^beta

She had really only meant to ask her a question. The hotel hallway was utterly silent down to the carpet and, considering the hour, there would be no one passing through either. It was eerie in the kind of way that left her child self uneasy, afraid she’d be caught doing something wrong. Sirius was already fast asleep in the room they shared, and Rudolf was only awake because she’d gotten too absorbed in a book, and now her brain itched for an explanation on one of the concepts and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Suu-san would know — she knew everything. So Rudolf stood outside her door in her long, swishy nightgown, and hesitated a moment too long.

“You’re insatiable,” Speed said from inside. Her voice was low, not only in volume but in depth — huskier than she’d ever heard it before. If Rudolf were human, her ears wouldn’t have caught a thing, but an umamusume’s hearing is sensitive. She could hear the creak of a bed, and something like a sigh. Her gut told her this was private, and she didn’t need to know, but her curiosity won out. How else would she explain what kept her glued there, listening closer and barely daring to breathe?

There was a brief sound (a kiss?). Once, twice, then a dozen more, and she heard a woman’s soft laughter. A higher, airier voice whispered: “And whose fault might that be?” Rudolf knew that voice too, although not as well; Speed had introduced her to them before dinner earlier, as a “dear friend”. She felt a little strange remembering it.

Beyond the door, the smacking sounds drifted further apart, and instead all she could hear was wet. Wet lips, wet mouths, wet breath… And in the middle of it all, Speed’s low voice somewhere between a sigh and a growl. A shiver danced down Rudolf’s spine and prickled goosebumps up her arms. What was that? The dull creak of the bed, them moving across the sheets, and that voice. She pressed her ear even closer and bit her lip. Her heart pounded in her throat.

“Wait—…” Speed’s breathless voice.

“I’m not waiting.” And the other woman’s, teasing her.

Rudolf’s still small hands buried in her nightgown; the fabric balled up and wrinkled in the grip of her damp palms. A sweet, nervous something danced in the pit of her stomach. Her face was dizzyingly hot. Still she didn’t move, and kept her ear to the door. The guilt she felt for eavesdropping melted into the crackle of heat inside her, and only fanned the flames.

Another wet noise started, different from before (louder?), and Speed’s voice shifted in ways she’d never imagined. It trembled, fluttered up and down in pitch, and got a little more desperate each time. The word for it was “moaning”, she thought, but it was nothing like the kind she knew (in pain, or simple pleasure). What was happening beyond the door? What did her idol look like right now, and what could feel so good that she’d lose her words entirely? It almost sounded like licking or sucking, but where?

“I’m… close. Don’t stop.” Speed sounded like she was unraveling. Close to what? Rudolf felt an itch like impatience, but deeper and sweeter. Her legs had pressed snug together without her noticing, and between them it felt so warm. Would Suu-san tell her what this was? For the first time, she couldn’t ask her — the very thought of that made the feeling even worse.

She listened as the person she idolized cried out in pleasure. It went quiet after, leaving just the sound of breathing, the bed creaking, and skin against sheets. Rudolf at last pulled herself away from the door and hurried back into her own room. Sirius was still asleep. Her legs shook as she tiptoed across and climbed back into bed. It felt so cold on her flushed skin that she shivered. Clumsy and panicked, she yanked the covers up over her head and hid herself beneath.

With no chance she’d fall asleep like this, Rudolf knew she needed to soothe herself somehow. She pressed her thighs tight together and felt a twinge deep in her stomach, while her underwear clung damp in between. Her hand trembled as she looped her finger around the band and pulled them down, exposing herself to the air. There was a tuft of dark brown hair, and beneath that, a part of her body she barely understood. She sunk her fingers into hot and wet — and there was the source of the ache, buried deep in slick, swollen folds.

The tips of her fingers ghosted something the further she explored: a nub that she touched and it crackled behind her eyes like sweet electricity. So gently she pulled around it, pressed her fingertips in, flicked and rolled… Was this what Suu-san felt before? Every touch made her legs and hips bounce and slide across the sheets, but the moment she remembered Speed’s voice and that sound, it got so much stronger and threatened to burst. What if Speed could see her now? It feels good. What if she took over and taught her hands-on, whispering encouragement in that secret, sultry voice? It’s too much, and not enough. What if she punished her for eavesdropping, and did to Rudolf whatever that woman had done to her? Would her lips and tongue really go that far down?

All of a sudden, it was like she was thrown into the air and free-falling. Everything was shaking and damp and way too hot. It was hard to breathe. But more overwhelming than that was the satisfaction and pleasure seeping into every corner of her body and melting her head. Her heart was pounding, and as she tried to steady her breath, a drowsiness began to tempt her eyes shut. It was the most tired she’d felt in some time, and so she sighed away the tension and let it pull her in.

The dreams she had that night would soon become her favorite secret.