Archive of Our Own ^beta

For whatever reason, Fubuki seems flustered around her today. She wonders what might have warranted a change. Does her smile feel unnatural again? Had the salmon she grilled for him the other day not been to his liking?

... she'd taken a bath yesterday so surely it cannot be her smell... unless he might be sensitive to the fragrance that Tsubame had insisted she'd accept for her aid last week and she'd been curious enough to give it a try after her bath—

Clarice stops that line of thinking before she draws on more awkward assumptions. In any case, it won't do for them to be distracted while they're patrolling for the sake of the village. She turns to him, calling out, "Fubuki?"

He jumps in place, trying to pretend as if he hadn't been staring at her. "Y-yes?!"

"You seem distracted. Is something the matter lately?" she asks while praying desperately that it has nothing to do with her smell.

"Ah, um, well." Fubuki's tail begins to wag but Clarice can't tell if it's nervousness or something else because his ears are still up rather than pressed against his head. He gives her an awkward smile. "I, um, heard that Kaguya asked you to go to the Fateweaver Shrine with her."

Clarice stares blankly at him, until it finally registers exactly what he's said, and oh, even the gods have heard—

"A-ah! Well, I mean..." He scratches at his cheek. "Sister Spring told us and I didn't know when would be a good time to bring it up. I just wanted to say I'm happy for you." And she knows he means it, because his tail starts to wag furiously.

"Oh, um... thank you," she says, her voice quieter than usual. "I wasn't trying to keep it a secret. I also didn't know when was a good time to bring it up."

The two of them share a look and slowly laugh with each other, some of the awkwardness dispelled now. Maybe the best time to tell him should have been immediately, and she regrets now that he had not heard it from her directly.

In many ways, Fubuki is her first friend. He had been among the first to reach out, and though she knows it had been his guilt that had made him do so, she had also nearly killed him for his resemblance. His kindness had been both a blessing and a curse, because how did Kamurosaki turn out so different from him?

Even now, though, everything still doesn't feel real to her. She still remembers how they'd been in the beginning, when Kaguya would come to visit her to help her grow accustomed to Azuma. Clarice had been a poor conversationalist then, still licking her wounds and frantically wishing that one of the gods would either exile her or mete out the divine punishment she clearly deserved.

And now, over a year later, she's still here, to be wed to the savior of Azuma.

The wind picks up slightly and she wraps her cloak closer to her. She'll have to remember to give a gift to Pilika for making her a new one after her last one got ripped by an unfortunate encounter with some of the tengu. Out of the corner of her eye, she catches a slight shiver run through Fubuki. For a god of winter, it's always amused her a little that he also has trouble with the cold.

"Fubuki, let's stand a little closer," she calls out, and Fubuki looks as if he wants to object before the wind picks up again and he sneezes.

"... thank you," he mumbles as he huddles close to her, ears pressed flat against his head in embarrassment.

Nothing else happens with the patrol other than a lone wolf coming close to them. It looks a bit too thin, though, and Clarice reaches into her pack to toss it a piece of jerky. It snaps it up into its jaws immediately and dashes away. She half-wishes for a wooly to come wander over to them but that doesn't happen; it must be too cold for them to be out in the field right now.

They're heading back to the village when a thought comes to Clarice. "Fubuki, can I ask you something?"

"Hm?" Fubuki looks up at her.

"Is going to the Fateweaver Shrine generally the custom here in Azuma for proposing?"

Fubuki tilts his head, his ears twitching as he thinks. "Um... yes and... no?"

Clarice blinks at him.

"I mean, I've never been there or p-proposed to! I've only heard things!" he says while waving his hands. "Um, well, it's a very traditional method, but the area where it was originally located was a bit challenging for most people so they usually don't unless they're able to get an airship. Then the Celestial Collapse made it go even further up into the air... but I guess people would still be using airships for that. The runes are recovering though, so maybe people will be able to go back there."

"Perhaps we should ask Kanata if we might be able to build another shrine here on the surface." His ears flick. "I should bring it up at the next meeting."

"I think that would be nice," Clarice adds. She realizes now how much of a special favor it must have been to have Woolby bring the both of them there. She'll promise to take it easy on him the next time she sees him.

Fubuki sends her a curious look. "Can I ask what would be the custom in Adonea?"

"We either buy or craft a ring for engagement. Then, when we ask our partner and they accept, we place it on the fourth finger of their left hand. There can be a ceremony for either the engagement or not."

"Oh? That sounds wonderful, too." Fubuki sends her a thoughtful look. "Have you thought about giving one to Kaguya?"

Clarice opens her mouth to respond, and abruptly closes it, fully realizing his words. A sudden knot of apprehension forms inside of her and she can't help but frown.

"A-ah! I mean, you don't have to do that if you don't want to!" Fubuki waves his hands at her.

"I... no, it's..." she trails off.

What is it? Why does she feel this sudden unease inside of her at the thought? Kaguya and she have already promised themselves to each other; that should be the highest reassurance that Clarice has, and yet...

Fubuki's ears press flat against his head. "My apologies. You've always shared so many stories about your homeland with me and I thought that you might have liked to practice one of your customs here... marriage is a momentous part of life for mortals, after all."

"No, it's..." and she falters again.

After everything she's done, is it too selfish of her to ask for more?

A touch on her arm snaps her out of her thoughts. Fubuki opens his mouth to speak but closes it in the next second. Instead, he smiles gently and gives her arm a light squeeze and not for the first time, Clarice wonders why he'd chosen to be the god of winter when his countenance is warmth incarnate.

She slowly nods at him. All of her doubts haven't been cleared away completely but enough are for her to place a hand over his, her resolve strengthened now.

"Fubuki," she tries to say with a neutral voice, "if I could have your help, I need to—"

Even before she finishes, she can see how alert his ears suddenly go and the furious way his tail wags, and even the way his body shakes from the movement of his tail.

"We need to find some silver," she finishes, and Fubuki is already taking off with an excited yip.

While she can't say that she's taken to fishing the way that Watarase had hoped for her, she thinks she's at least gotten much better at it. There were some in the Tagesanbruch who knew their way around a fishing pole but she's never seen someone so attuned to the water and rod the way Watarase is.

A sudden tug on her line makes her pull her rod up out of reflex. Of course, there's nothing there, and her bait is gone now. Tsking to herself, Clarice prepares her bait and casts her line into the water again.

Being so distracted makes fishing a poor activity, but Yachiyo had asked if she could procure some extra fish for her tonight, and how can Clarice ever deny a request from Yachiyo?

But she can't help but let her thoughts wander.

Fubuki and she had gone searching for the whole day to look for enough ore. Now, the pile of it sits in a sack in a corner of her cabin. All she needs to do is ask Zaza to borrow her forge so she can craft the ring—and she had realized her next problem.

Namely, she needed to get a measurement of Kaguya's finger... and now how is Clarice going to achieve that?

It doesn't help that Kaguya's schedule has picked up as of late. Though the land of Azuma is healing, it does so at a slow pace. While Clarice has been called to do village patrols and provide security where she can, it is still only Kaguya that can address the root of the problem, the seeds of blight that still remain dormant in the lands. This, combined with so many other requests from the villages, leads to very little time for them to see each other. It feels a bit comical that after seeing each other off from the Fateweaver Shrine, they've barely had time for each other.

A pang shoots through her at the thought. She wishes there could be a way for her to lighten the load, even offering to Kaguya once that she could help take over some of her duties as village chief, but Kaguya had refused.

"The gods are looking into appointing another chief but things are still just a little hectic right now," she'd said.

Clarice knows she had refused out of politeness, and there are other things Clarice can still do to help, but there are times when her thoughts take a darker turn. Perhaps, one of the reasons Kaguya had refused is because she knows the villagers would not allow it. After all, who would want the aid of someone that had nearly devastated them?

If someone like Clarice were to stay with Kaguya...

"Princess, if you continue to frown like that, your pretty face will permanently mar."

Clarice yelps, dropping her rod as she whips her head around. Just as she does so, she immediately recognizes who it is, and her mood sours. Veyron only sends her an amused look.

"Quite distracted you must be if you didn't hear me."

"Oh, be quiet," she grumbles as she picks back up her rod. Her bait is gone, and she's tempted tell Veyron to fix her another one. "What are you doing here? How did you even find me?" she asks as she works on her line.

"Miss Yachiyo was gracious enough to direct me to your whereabouts. And how could I not see you in person after your letter?" He smiles warmly at her. "Congratulations, Princess. The rest of the Tagesanbruch send their regards as well."

Clarice looks away from him, face a little too warm for the autumn air. She casts her line back into the river. "Thank you. Please give everyone else my regards as well."

"Of course."

Clarice expects him to leave but he remains where he is, watching her still. If she weren't here fishing, she'd leave herself but she's stuck here. She knows how she looks in his eyes and wonders if there will ever be a day where he won't see her as a child he still needs to take care of. Perhaps that day will never come no matter how old she gets. She wonders if he might think otherwise if she has children—no, that is not a thought she is ready to have right now.

After a while, though, the silence proves to be too much for her. She looks at him over her shoulder with narrowed eyes. "Is there anything else? Why are you still here?"

Veyron's amused expression doesn't change even with her curt tone. "I just never thought this day would come so soon."

Clarice turns to him, indignant. "I-I'm not that hopeless when it comes to r-romance!" Well, yes, she is, but she doesn't want to admit that aloud to him, not when he's already privy to how much she worried over Kaguya.

He shakes his head, his expression turning solemn. "No, that isn't what I meant."

The fire burns out of Clarice and she looks away from him, unable to withstand his gaze. The fish still aren't taking her bait and she wishes one would do so right now, if only to give her a distraction for a few minutes.

Footsteps crunch on grass and leaves as Veyron makes his way to her, standing at her side now. It is a familiar position that he has always been at, but his presence at her side feels too heavy right now.

"You have always acted in accordance with our wishes, never your own desires," he says.

"... because I am your princess. The will of our people are my desires," she says, and it feels like someone else is speaking instead. Ah, she feels it, feels herself slipping back into that role that's all too familiar to her, one that she has worn like a second skin now.

"Yes... you have shouldered all our hopes and burdens without complaint."

Clarice says nothing. They've had this conversation more than several times already, and they will both do anything but blame each other for it.

"That is why I came here today to remind you again," he steps closer and rests his hand on her shoulder, "that you must remember to accept your own happiness."

And just like that, the princess is gone, and in her place remains Clarice.

The knot that been steadily coiling inside of her unwinds, and she releases a slow breath. It always seems so obvious in retrospect when Veyron says this, but words are always easier said than done. She wants to tell him to go away, because then he will stop seeing right through her but were it not for his constant reminders, she knows that she will always seek refuge into the darker recesses of her mind.

Despite how she treats him, Veyron has always been there for her, for better and worse... and he's always been far too meddling for his own good, still insisting that he bears most of the blame for pushing her into uprooting the Tagesanbruch to Azuma. But it had also been him that had chosen to stand behind to oppose Kaguya... so he could tell her to save Clarice. She wonders if things might have been different if it weren't for that conversation cementing Kaguya's resolve.

"I... understand, Veyron," she finally says. Her voice is quieter than she likes, but it has been a struggle recently to keep herself composed.

"As I have said before, Princess, your happiness is my happiness," Veyron says. "You still have so much of your life ahead of you. Please, live your life as you were meant to."

He squeezes her shoulder one last time before he drops his hand away. Clarice turns her head to look at him, and there's that warmth he has always held for her even before they had left their homeland.

"And, I also came here for one other purpose," Veyron's eyes twinkle as he pulls out a strip of something from his suitcase, "I heard that you may need this for your next endeavor."

it takes Clarice a moment of looking at his finger to realize what he's brought her is tailoring tape and she is upset at how red she turns. She wants to push him into the water but she swipes the tape out of his hands and hastily stuffs it into her pouch. "You—you did not have—how did you even hear about that!"

He laughs in that strange way of his. "Don't doubt my ways, Princess."

Clarice can already guess what he'd done, though. Sometimes, Fubuki's kindness is also a curse when Veyron knows exactly how to get her secrets out of him. That would also explain the crate of salmon outside his shrine today, and the sudden feeling of foreboding she had gotten as she looked at it. His ability to warp had been a great boon during their travels but she has a feeling it's going to become an annoyance later in her life.

As annoyed as she is at him though, the air is no longer heavy as it had been. She's not going to admit that to him, though.

"It's a shame for you that we're in Azuma, then," she says.

He blinks at her, faintly surprised. "What do you mean, Princess?"

Clarice looks away from him. "Since we're here in Azuma, we should perform their traditions instead of our homeland's."

"Yes...?"

"You won't be able to walk me down the aisle."

Clarice can feel exactly when her words sink into him, as he lets out a gasp. She wants to see what sort of shocked expression he'll make, but she thinks if she looks at him now, she'll feel pity instead.

"Princess... you... Princess! Oh, my word!" is all he can manage before he makes a choked sound. She sighs—oh! That's a tug on her line. She wrestles with it for a few minutes before pulling it up, satisfied with her catch of char and places it where her pile of catches already are.

She looks over her shoulder at Veyron, finds him bawling, and casts her line back into the water. It had been a good call to go fishing outside of the village, because she'd be embarrassed to be seen with him acting the way he is. Clarice feels just a little bit guilty but he'll always be a part of her life, one way or another.

He's still her family, after all.

There was nothing in the land Clarice lived in.

She had always known of the legacy left to her family but out here, their lineage meant nothing more than a name. Food was already so scarce, everyone needed to help scrounge for food. Clarice had heard stories of relatives who refused until they had been left to the brink of hunger when even their own retainers had left them for survival. And where else in Adonea would take them, when the lands were still so rife with turmoil after the collapse of their empire?

They did not have much. No one did. The only concession the land had given to them was that their land was abundant with ore hidden in the caves nearby. They would either sell the ore or their blacksmiths forged weapons for them to use or sell.

Every now and then, there would a straggler making their way in, and though it would be yet another mouth to feed, they would still take them in. How could they forsake one of their own when the rest of the world had given up on them?

Their community was small, but it was all Clarice knew, and it was home to her. Veyron had been her father's aide and she remembered when she was younger that she would pull on his beard all the time whenever he forgot to trim it. Her sister would pat her head and help her eat the cakes their mother had forced them to make, and her brother would pull on her leg and they'd go to the woolys in the forest and after spending most of the day petting them, would shear some of their fur to bring back for either their mother to use or their neighbors.

Out of her siblings, Clarice had shown the most martial promise. Her father and Veyron taught her how to use the sword and soon, they began to take her along when they went out to forage and hunt. It had always been a struggle to find food, and she knew there were times her parents would drink nothing but thin soup to make sure she and her siblings had fillings in theirs. She wished something could ease their burdens. Once she was able, she'd find work outside and send food back, money, anything. They had been hiding for so long, surely no one outside would be able to recognize them. Her skills were steadily building, perhaps she could even join SEED and bring recognition to their name again, this time as peacekeepers instead of tyrants.

But one day, a storm arrived.

Lightning streaked across the sky nonstop and thunder boomed so loud that getting any amount of sleep felt like a miracle. It had also made leaving the town near impossible, and the rain poured nonstop that everyone feared their meager crop field would wash away as well. A day turned into several, then a week, of constant storming. Her father risked a venture outside once, and though he came back with few herbs, he also bore grim news, that several people had been struck by lightning.

It was in that night that Kamurosaki descended on them.

Clarice had been sharpening her sword one moment and in the next, she was sent flying, her entire house splintered apart by a bolt of lightning. Through the boom of thunder, she heard the screaming and howls.

When she finally recovered, she realized there was a wolf staring at her. Its fur was pitch black, lightning crackled along its body, and blood dripped down its maw. When it looked at her, she saw nothing but cruelty and malice. It loomed over her, and she remained frozen even as it raised its claw.

Both her mother and sister had shoved her out of the way just as Kamurosaki's claws raked over them. Lightning flashed in the skies, blinding Clarice for that moment, and her mother and sister laid on the ground in the next, unmoving. He advanced on her again, each step a sickening squelch of bloody footprints as he trampled over her family—and then he had looked away, the same moment a cry reached Clarice's ears. Her brother was trapped under the debris of their house, reaching out for her, and she pushed herself forward to reach out for him before being flung in the opposite direction. Kamurosaki had kicked her away as if she were only a doll. A shriek pierced the air before a clap of thunder muffled it, and then silence.

In the blink of an eye, her family was gone. She tried to push herself up but it was as if every ounce of strength had drained from her, already giving up. It would be only moments until her own end. At least... at least her family would not have to suffer this life any longer, and she would be able to join them soon. She closed her eyes, waiting for the end... until her hand brushed against a familiar hilt.

In that moment, it was as if something had awoken inside of her. Perhaps it was Kamurosaki's own grudge already empowering her before she had taken him in. All she remembers is that she had pulled herself up, gripped her sword with her hands slick with the blood of her family, a fury shimmering in her own blood that she had never felt before, and when Kamurosaki called his lightning, her own runes had answered in return.

But not even her victory over Kamurosaki could lift the veil of despair that had fallen over her people. Even as she walked through her town with Kamurosaki's head in her grasp, the people who were still moving could barely be described as alive, the light in their eyes just as gone as the corpses on the ground. The only person who had looked at her clearly had been Veyron, and she couldn't tell what sort of expression he was making through his tears as he cradled her father's broken body in his arms. That moment had been when their wills were crushed fully, and Clarice had wanted to lay down her sword... but something whispered had inside of her.

The gods of Azuma let me live so I could feast on your village. You should seek vengeance for it!

Veyron had blamed himself for pushing her to take the mantle of conquerer but she already had Kamurosaki's grudge seeping into her, and as she helped the others dig the earth apart to lay her family to rest, she knew there had been only one choice to make. They needed a new hope to keep them alive. They could no longer stay here in these lands stained with the blood of everyone they had lost. There was no place here for them in Adonea; they had to leave for Azuma.

It would be years before they could make their journey, all while Kamurosaki raged in her mind, screaming for vengeance as their plans for Azuma became more and more finalized. When he appeared as the Hound, she did not question him; more allies would be necessary. She would use anything for her goals. Even as his lightning branded itself into her skin and she felt her own anger begin to morph into his, she never lost sight that this was all for her people.

Clarice had been wholly prepared to sacrifice everything, if it meant her people could live in peace without fear of hunger and strife, if it meant they could finally rest, if it meant that not even the gods could take anything else away from them. Even if that meant conquering others... she would do it.

Kamurosaki's curse had nearly driven her mad but it was power she knew she would need. She steeled her heart; she needed to, upon seeing the Blight wreaking havoc on the lands of Azuma. People, animals, land, everything suffered... but her people had lived through this same fate as well.

When she called forth Mihoshi Habaki and bonded their souls together, the agony of feeling her soul drain from the sheer power of its might had paled in comparison to what her people had suffered; for them, she would endure. The moment she had become their princess, her life was already forfeit. They had followed her here to a foreign land with nothing but her promises for a better life, and she would stop at nothing to grant them that. Her soul, her entire being, her existence—if Mihoshi Habaki could grant her people peace, she could have all of her.

Except Kaguya had come.

In the end, the Tagesanbruch had been relocated to unsettled land near the Winter Village, to be kept under surveillance with a few mystics from the government. She suspects that Ikaruga's report had softened their punishment and Clarice will be forever grateful to him for it, especially since he's had no reason to do so. The land they've been taken to is barren and will take hard work to make fertile, but it isn't anything that life hasn't already dealt them. At least this land doesn't house the blood of the family they've lost.

Her people are still alive, and they would survive, and that is all Clarice can ask for.

When she wakes now, there are no expectations placed upon her, no vengeance driving her forward. When she wakes now, she does so as another person living in the Winter Village under the protection of its winter god, the brother of the one who stole everything away. When she wakes now... she is free.

But she is still afraid that everything will be ripped away from her again. She is afraid that one day, she will wake to another thunderstorm and lay in the ruins of her home again. She is afraid that when she wakes, it will be to the rest of the Tagesanbruch slaughtered again, the sword still bloody in her hands as Kamurosaki's howling laughter rattles inside her mind.

Joy is the one luxury that will remain forever beyond your grasp.

She is always afraid that she will wake and all her time that she's spent in Azuma will have merely been one last dream, one last act of cruelty from Kamurosaki before he consumed her entirely.

Afraid... she is always afraid...

But today Clarice wakes, and her arms are sore.

Today... Clarice wakes, and she stares at the silver band resting in the middle of her palm,

It had taken several long days of working at Zaza's forge until she was finally satisfied with the result, and when she had finally finished, she had also stared at it for a long time.

She cradled it so carefully that she was afraid even the slightest touch would break it even though she'd been the one who just finished making the thing in the first place. Or maybe her breath might brush it off and make it roll away on the ground like a rice ball and go straight into the river, or she'll accidentally twist the ring and it'll snap in half and—

"Hey, hey!"

Zaza claps a hand on her back and Clarice nearly staggers forward. Her hand is already balled protectively around the ring.

"Relax! Ain't no one's gonna take that away from ya," Zaza says with a laugh. "No time to be bungling when you're already at the finish line."

Her words snap some sense back to Clarice and she straightens herself with a nod. Zaza has always known what to say to her, somehow.

"... of course," Clarice turns to Zaza. "I can never thank you enough for helping me out."

"Haha, don't ya worry about that."

Zaza reaches out suddenly, pulling Clarice into a hug. Clarice blinks in surprise. The only person that really hugs her nowadays is Kaguya, and sometimes Suzu when she runs (literally) into Clarice. It isn't that she's adverse to them but... when Zaza hugs her, it makes her think of her sister, how they had held each other at night when it grew too cold sometimes, how she bandaged Clarice after a rough day of training, and... so much she had done that Clarice never knew how much she had taken for granted. Clarice misses her dearly but she thinks if she were still alive... Zaza would be close to her.

"A lot of people would kill to be in your position, y'know? Kaguya already went first so she already knows what she's getting herself into!" Zaza says with a laugh. Her expression softens afterward. "Just look at ya now! Barely knew what ya were doing when ya first came here and now you're off getting married and all that! Makes me wanna cry."

Clarice laughs but she looks down, back at the ring in her hand. "Yes... I feel the same way."

"I'm happy for ya, Clarice." Zaza takes her hand with both of hers, the same hand clutching the ring in its grasp. "Truly. Ya deserve happiness too."

Clarice stares at their hands, and then looks back up at Zaza. She's afraid to say anything because she's sure that it'll just get stuck inside her throat, but she slowly nods, and lays her hand over Zaza's.

Clarice is heading out of Winter Village when Tsubame waves her over.

"Hey, Clarice. Got a job over at Spring Village. A buddy of mine says some monsters were giving her some trouble the other day when she tried to travel. You interested?" she asks, as if Clarice has not always agreed to take every job she's offered so far.

"Of course," Clarice agrees. They hash through a few more details and Clarice readies to set off.

"Oh, yes, one more thing." With a secretive smile, Tsubame leans in to whisper to her. "Got a few shipments of things from the west coming next week. The ladies at the capital have been picking up western fashion again now that the barriers are down. I'll let you have first peek at some of them, if you want," she finishes with a wink. Clarice wishes she doesn't look too interested but she knows she's failing at that, especially when Tsubame smiles wryly.

"Yes, I'd like that, if you don't mind," Clarice says. It isn't that she's not used to the clothes of Azuma by now, but she'll just always be a little partial to the garments of her homeland, and she's more than glad that Tsubame has always been willing to indulge in some of her requests for specific items.

Tsubame wishes her well, and Clarice travels toward Spring Village for the job. It goes off without a hitch, but Clarice had done little more than stand there and be intimidating to scare off the oni eyeing them from the clifftops. She won't complain about the lack of action, though, if it means she does not have to strike a being down.

"Thank you for all your help. I'll ask Tsubame again if I need your help again," the merchant says with a smile on her face. It's polite but not unkind, like the one that Tsubame wears when she's off the clock. Clarice wonders for a brief moment how they might know each other, but merchants always have their secrets.

The merchant holds out her hand suddenly, and Clarice is looking at it blankly before the realization comes to her and she takes it with a firm shake. Handshaking isn't a custom in Azuma, at least as far as Clarice has seen, so perhaps this merchant has already traveled and seen outside. A slight twinge of homesickness shoots through Clarice but she pushes that away. Azuma is her home now.

The merchant takes her leave, and now Clarice stares at the entrance, thinking. Since she's already here... she might as well get some dango and relax inside for a bit. And there it is, always that small pit that forms inside of her when she thinks about being allowed to spend time to herself. It will always take time to become used to these things, she understands, but she wishes she did not always have to feel this way.

Clarice walks in through the gates, turning to the familiar teahouse. Surprisingly, there's only a few customers today, and Iroha is waving at her already upon spotting her.

"Clarice!" Iroha calls out. Murasame is sitting at one of the benches as well, waving to her as she approaches. "Here for some dango?"

"Yes, of course," Clarice answers and Iroha is already heading inside the teahouse. She takes the empty seat next to Murasame. "Not training today?" she asks him.

"Taking a break right now," he says. He turns his head slightly so he can look at her with his eye. "If you've some time, care to indulge me in a—"

"And here you go!" Iroha comes out with a tray of dango which Clarice gratefully takes.

"My apologies, Murasame. You were saying?"

"I wanted to ask if you could indulge me in a duel," he asks. Clarice is about to agree before he suddenly shakes his head. "No, never mind. Perhaps another time."

Clarice frowns. "Are you sure? I do have time to spare."

"Yes, next time." He crosses his arms, closes his eye, almost as if he's lost in thought before he looks at Clarice again. For some reason, there's a small smile on his face. "You have... a different air about you today."

Clarice looks down at herself. "Do I?"

"It isn't bad, do not worry. Just..." He taps his finger against his arm as he thinks. Clarice takes this moment to eat more of her dango as she waits. Murasame can be perceptive about certain things that she isn't even sure of herself, and she values his words. He also knows what it's like to be under the thrall of another being.

Iroha laughs suddenly, and the both of them look at her. She's smiling at Clarice as if she understands although as to what that is, Clarice doesn't know herself.

"Murasame means you look happy," Iroha says. "Congratulations, by the way. Kaguya told me!"

"Oh, um, thank you," Clarice mumbles with a slight bow of her head. She doesn't think she'll ever get over being embarrassed over hearing others congratulate her, and they aren't even married yet.

"Ah, that's what it is," Murasame says then, a slight smile on his face as both he and Iroha share a look. Clarice still doesn't know what's happening, looking at the both of them in confusion.

... does she look happy? She checks her face with her hand. It doesn't feel any different... and she doesn't feel any different either. How does she look to the both of them?

"Actually, Kaguya's here today!" Iroha points down the path toward the Sacred Tree. "They just managed to clear out the debris from one of the fields so Kaguya's there right now to plant some new crops for the villagers."

"Ah... is she?" If Kaguya is here, then... her hand drifts to her pocket. Perhaps, today, this will be her chance.

After she chats with Iroha a bit longer and finishes the rest of her dango, Clarice makes her way down the path that Iroha had pointed to. The cherry blossoms float through the air, and though she wants to see Kaguya, Clarice takes a moment to watch them, gathering her thoughts.

The ring sits inside her pocket. She'd gotten into the habit of carrying it around because she's scared that something will happen to it if left out of her sight. Not because someone will try to steal it, but she is afraid she will accidentally misplace it somewhere and worry herself silly. Better to have it on her person for her own peace of mind, but it also adds a new worry that she needs to protect herself lest the ring might become damaged if the claw of a bear or a sword of an oni got to her.

... if she doesn't do this soon, her mind will have her constantly running circles in itself until then. She continues down the path, practicing again what she might say. Speaking from the heart has never been her strong suit, and no matter how much she tries, the words always seem to still get bungled up in both throat and mind.

Not that her practicing matters, because when she arrives at her destination, every thought seems to fly out of her mind.

Kaguya stands in the middle of the field, the picture of serenity. Her eyes are closed as she steps through the tilled land, banging on the sacred drum. With each strike of the drum, seeds sprout from the earth, leaves emerge from stems, and flowers bloom open.

This isn't the first time Clarice has seen this, but it leaves her no less awed. The power of Earthmates had been passed down in her family as something to be feared. After all, it had been an Earthmate that had brought an end to their empire.

Perhaps the way Kaguya commands the earth with such ease should scare her. Her family and people lived on barren soil but if they had the powers of an Earthmate, they would not have to live in such despondence. But perhaps it had been their penance for the Empire.

The only thing that Clarice knows now, though, is that if she could stand here and watch Kaguya dance forever, she would.

With a final strike of the drum, Kaguya spins one last time to a crouch. Cherry blossoms swirl around her before they scatter apart, fluttering down over both Kaguya and the field now, and petals catch in her hair. Kaguya finally opens her eyes, and looks straight at her.

Clarice is frozen under that gaze, rooted to her spot, unable to lift even a finger. Something in that gaze seems divine, as if seeing all of her in this one moment. Perhaps Kaguya might be, as someone with half of their soul promised to a dragon and blessed with the favor of the gods. In this moment, it is as if all of Clarice seem insignificant in comparison: her troubles, her worries, her feelings—

Then Kaguya blinks several times, as if finally realizing that Clarice is there. Her mouth falls open with surprise, and Clarice blinks as well, wondering if she's imagining the hint of pink across Kaguya's face. The spell broken now, Clarice crosses the distance between them, careful of the wet soil and seeds she might disturb. By the time she reaches her, Kaguya has already recomposed herself, smile soft on her lips, sun shining on her pale locks and the color on her face a sharp contrast to her skin. There still is something divine in her beauty, Clarice thinks.

"Clarice, I wasn't expecting to see you here," she says.

It takes a moment for Clarice to remember how to speak. "A job took me to Spring Village and I finished early. Iroha mentioned you were here and I wanted to see what you were doing. Was I not supposed to watch?"

"No, but..." Kaguya seems embarrassed, "I can't imagine it'd be interesting."

"It's always interesting to me. I could watch you for the entire day," Clarice says although Kaguya doesn't look convinced. She reaches out for Kaguya's hand, but Kaguya withdraws slightly, eyes wide.

"W-whoa! I've been working in the fields all morning and haven't had a chance to wash my hands so they're not really nice right now—"

Clarice reaches out again.

"It's fine," she says. The dirt combined with Kaguya's calluses are hard and rough. Clarice's hands aren't that much different either given her constant training and taking care of the barns, but Kaguya is always reaching for them tooo, and Clarice should return the favor. She threads their fingers together and smiles. "I don't mind."

When Kaguya blushes, she turns more pink than the deep red that Clarice tends to do, which isn't really fair because it doesn't take much to fluster Clarice. So that's why Clarice treasures this, when she can finally be the one to tease Kaguya instead, because that pink matches her eyes so well.

"Do you still have any other duties after this?" Clarice asks.

Kaguya shakes her head. "I just need to finish tending to this field and my schedule is open for the rest of the day."

This is it, Clarice thinks. This is her chance; the ring is already inside her pocket and this is one of the rare moments where they've no further engagements... and a part of her still wants to run away, to leave this for another day instead, whenever that may be. They are already promised, she does not have to do this—

But she wants to.

"Then, um, I wanted to talk to you about something. Would you like to accompany me to the forest?"

Something flashes across Kaguya's eyes but it's gone just as quick. It makes Clarice wonder what it must be but Kaguya gives her hand a light squeeze and speaks.

"Yeah, I'd be happy to go with you! Let me finish up here first."

Clarice waits for her by the gate now, fiddling with the cuffs of her sleeves. It's a nervous habit she's been trying to break out of, but she thinks she can allow herself to indulge this one time given what she's about to do. At the rate she's going though, she's going to wear out her sleeves by the time Kaguya gets here.

"Clarice, Clarice!"

She looks up just to see Suzu waving and running over to her. The smile is already on Clarice's face as she turns to the little girl. Suzu strikes a pose, standing on one leg with both of her hands forming v-signs. "Look, look! How do you like my new pose? I'm trying it out!"

"It's cute," she answers.

Suzu's getting a bit taller now but Clarice can still reach out and pat her head. There's still always that painful knot inside of her when she sees how much Suzu reminds her of her lost brother. When Suzu beams up at her, though, Clarice can forget, just for a moment.

"Hehe, I knew it was! I'm gonna have a concert for the woolys later, you wanna come with me this time?" She looks at Clarice expectantly, and it's as if an arrow goes through Clarice's heart at both the offer and her look. Of all the times for Suzu to do this!

It is with great regret that Clarice shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Suzu, but not today. I'll be out with Kaguya."

"Oh, right... my sister told me you guys are getting married?" Suzu gives her a hopeful look. "You know, when people get married, they sometimes get kids, so can you two get one so I can have someone new to play with? Next month if you can!"

Clarice has never been rendered so utterly speechless until right now.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Of course this has to be the time that Kaguya arrives. Suzu runs over to her and shows off the same pose that she'd shown Clarice. Kaguya gives her a little bout of applause and makes a thumbs-up afterward.

"So anyway," Suzu continues, "I was just telling Clarice that I think you guys should have a kid soon! Another girl too so we can chase Kotaro around!"

"U-um! I think we should save that for another day!" Clarice reaches over to grab Kaguya's hand and pull her away toward the entrance. "We have to go now, please enjoy your concert! And stay safe!"

They're halfway across the bridge when Kaguya decides to speak up, clearly amused. "So... children, hm?"

Clarice nearly trips over her feet. "I-I think it's a bit too early to talk about that!" They're not even married yet and truthfully told, Clarice can barely even handle herself most of the time and she knows Kaguya is just far too busy for her to look after—

"Ah, I mean, we could have a whole barn of woolys too."

Clarice pauses, turning to look at Kaguya. "Can we?"

Kaguya sends her an amused look. "We'd have to find the space for that, wouldn't we?"

"So if we do..."

"... I'll think about it." Kaguya smiles at her before gesturing ahead of them. "So where are you taking me?"

"Ah, um... I said the forest, but I didn't really have anywhere in particular. Did you want to go anywhere?"

"Not really. As long as I'm with you, we can go wherever," Kaguya answers. She falls into step next to Clarice and squeezes her hand. Clarice had forgotten they were holding hands in the first place, so focused on trying to pull Kaguya away from Suzu's untimely requests. She hesitates before returning the gesture, and Kaguya smiles brightly in return, and it makes Clarice look away because even just being shown such earnest affection still makes her embarrassed.

"The forest," Clarice mumbles, and tugs Kaguya along again. The forest doesn't take too long to get to, and the both of them look for a good spot to rest, which is next to the base of a tree large enough for the both of them to lean back against.

The trip had been a bit impromptu so Clarice doesn't have a blanket or anything they can sit on once they find a place. She makes do with pulling off her cloak, quickly spreading it out on the ground and gestures for Kaguya to sit. It feels almost comical to do this for Kaguya who has just spent the morning on her hands and knees digging through the soil, but it would be discourteous of Clarice to leave her lady without any sort of cushioning, however flimsy it may be.

"Thank you," Kaguya says as she sits down. She looks as if she wants to say more but instead scoots over to make whatever space she can and looks up at Clarice expectantly.

"Excuse me," Clarice says, and tries to take up as little space as possible on their impromptu blanket.

"Oh, come on, you can sit some more!"

"No, I do not need—"

But Kaguya is reaching out to pull Clarice to her before Clarice can finish, and Clarice finds herself awkwardly tucked underneath Kaguya's head for some reason. "U-um! Kaguya?!"

"If this is how I'm going to have to get you to take up some more space!"

"I, ah, don't mind. You really don't have to."

"But I want to." Kaguya's hand tips Clarice's face up toward her, and Clarice's breath catches because Kaguya's looking at her softly, and also her face is so close, so so so close that all it would take is—

Kaguya closes the distance, lips pressing against Clarice's. It always takes a moment for Clarice to process what's happening every time, and she is still always so shy and hesitant, but she responds in kind. She can feel Kaguya smile against her lips, feel a hand slide into her hair while the other curls around her neck and tugs her close, and all Clarice can be aware of in that moment is just Kaguya, Kaguya, Kaguya. The softness of her lips, the tender and soft caresses of her hands despite the calluses, the press of their bodies together—could there be anything sweeter?

They break apart when they can no longer ignore their need to breathe. Their faces are flushed, breaths mixing together. Clarice is bracing herself on an arm to keep from pushing Kaguya to the ground even though she's sure that's what Kaguya wants. Kaguya looks like she's leaning back in for another kiss but instead presses their foreheads together. Clarice closes her eyes, relishing in their closeness.

"I missed you," Kaguya murmurs.

"I did too," Clarice returns.

"I dropped by once to deliver something to Pilika and saw you at the forge. You were so into your work that I felt bad if I interrupted you. What were you doing?"

"Ah... that... that was..." Regretfully, Clarice pulls herself away and puts herself into a proper sitting position. This is for the better though, because now she can't be distracted. "Um, how much do you know about the lands outside of Azuma?"

Kaguya thinks for a moment. "Not much. With the Celestial Collapse, our village focused more on trying to survive than teaching us about anything outside the continent. There were a few books but..." she smiles sheepishly. "I wasn't really interested. My family had me practicing our dancing and then they began to train me and Subaru to head out as well. There just... wasn't any time to think about anything else."

"Oh... then, um, the Fateweaver Shrine... did you learn that from your village?"

Kaguya shakes her head. "Woolby mentioned it to me but I went to ask Sakaki and Hisui a bit more about it. Since I had Woolby, I thought it would be worth making the trip... and I wanted to see what it was like."

"When you took me there, I did not have any idea of what would happen. I'm truly happy you took me there, and I..."

She has rehearsed these words more than several times already and still, they remain trapped inside her own throat. And it shouldn't even be hard, not when she already knows exactly how Kaguya feels.

A warmth envelops her hand, and Clarice looks down to see Kaguya resting her hand atop hers. Clarice stares at it before she slowly flips it over, taking her hand with her own as well. She draws on that strength she can feel there and continues.

"That time at the Dragon Tomb, I had been ready to sacrifice everything for my people. It was the only thing that kept me alive back then."

Clarice closes her eyes and however much she wishes to forget, she can still recall that day with exact clarity.

The Amulet of Sacrifice pulsating in her hand, the howls of Kamurosaki tearing through her head, the presence of Mihoshi Habaki reverberating through her very soul... and there at the top of the stairs, winded and injured but no less determined, had been Kaguya. And when she spoke, she said she would save Azuma... and Clarice.

Save her?

Save her?

In that moment, for the first time in her life, she had wavered, and she'd been struck down. She had sought death for her transgressions... and received salvation instead.

When she opens her eyes and looks at Kaguya, she wonders what sort of expression she's making, because Kaguya looks taken aback.

"I once wanted to give up but you have shown me that there are still things in this world worth living for. You have always been so kind, patient, and understanding to me, and you've accepted my sins. I may stray from the path, but I still wish to walk by your side."

Kaguya opens her mouth but Clarice quickly shakes her head. She grabs the ring inside her pocket, keeping her hand curled around it as she pulls it out. Kaguya's eyes flit down to it before looking back up at Clarice, still waiting.

"You've shown me how you propose here in Azuma, so I... I wish to show you what we do back in my homeland."

Clarice finally opens her hand, revealing the silver band inside, and she hears Kaguya gasp.

"What we do is craft a ring to give to our beloved when we propose. So... um... I understand this may be redundant, but will you marry me, Kaguya?"

Kaguya is silent, her gaze wandering back and forth between Clarice and the ring. Clarice tries to keep herself steady but she swears her heart is ready to leave her own body with how hard its pounding. She can feel sweat beading at her temples and her palm might be getting sweaty, and her legs are aching. And still, Kaguya says nothing, and Clarice can't help but think perhaps this entire thing has been nothing but a mistake.

A sound finally comes out of Kaguya, and it's a shaky breath. "I didn't imagine that it'd feel so different on the other end."

Clarice finds herself letting out a small laugh. Her own heart feels like it's ready to rip out of her... and it must be a fraction of what Kaguya must have felt, having to plan their visit to the shrine without knowing of Clarice's answer.

"So, um, what else is there?" Kaguya asks.

"Hold out your left hand," Clarice says, her voice impressively steady.

Kaguya does so, and Clarice can see how her hand trembles slightly but that won't compare to how Clarice feels. Even though everything is already set into place, even though she also has her own assurance of the love Kaguya has for her, even though Kaguya had been the one to step forward for the both of them, Clarice is still afraid that she might think otherwise.

No, she can't keep letting herself think like this. Far too many of her friends have already given her the reassurance she needs to take her happiness; she cannot falter here, for their sakes.

Clarice takes Kaguya's hand carefully, almost half afraid that everything that's happened so far is still a dream and she will wake in the next few seconds. Perhaps this dream would be the biggest cruelty of all, having tasted of such sweet happiness before having it all ripped away.

But Kaguya's hand is warm in hers, and she can feel its roughness, the scars and calluses, and Clarice also remembers when she had taken this hand as Mihoshi Habaki roared above them, when Kaguya's hands had burned raw from the sheer power of the gods as she cut away the rest of Kamurosaki's curse and freed Clarice.

It is on this same hand now that Clarice slides her ring onto.

Once Clarice looks up at her, Kaguya withdraws her hand and brings it up to her face, turning it all around. She touches it with her other hand, fingertips running over the ring as if it might break and crack at any harder touch.

Clarice watches with bated breath. Her heart feels ready to burst out of her and she wishes she had a handkerchief on her right now to wipe the sweat from her face.

"... beautiful," Kaguya says. "It's beautiful."

She cradles her hand with her other one, brings it close to her chest as if pressing it against her heart. She looks at Clarice, her eyes shimmering with tears, smiling so widely that Clarice thinks her cheeks will hurt later. But, hadn't Clarice done the same thing when they were at the Fateweaver Shrine?

And then Kaguya starts to laugh, tears falling down the sides of her face.

"K-Kaguya?!" Clarice holds out her hands but Kaguya is shaking her head and trying to wipe her face with her sleeves.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just—you were so serious earlier when you said you wanted to talk to me about something and it's been a while since we last saw each other so I kind of... I just kind of got a little scared that you were going to... that you didn't want to go through the marriage anymore." Kaguya swipes at her eyes, smiling sheepishly at Clarice. "It just seems a little silly now, thinking about it."

Clarice swallows, trying to push down the sudden rock inside her throat. If she wants to be honest, it still frightens her, that she should be allowed to feel this happiness after destroying so much with her hands. It still feels wrong feeling all of this joy... but she remembers everyone that had helped her to this day, of Veyron asking Kaguya to save her, Fubuki reaching out to her in the beginning, of Veyron asking Kaguya to save her, Pilika sharing her meals and checking in on her, Watarase teaching her about fish and the sea life—everyone that had also reached out to her despite how close she had been to taking it all away from them.

And Kaguya, who had never given up on her.

"Clarice?" Kaguya calls out to her, concern on her face. "You went a little quiet. Is everything okay?"

And Clarice looks at Kaguya, at the one who had given this second chance at life, and what else is there for her to speak in this moment, as the words slip out of her as easy as breathing.

Kaguya blinks, brow furrowing slightly before she looks apologetic. "Sorry, I... don't think I understood that?"

"Ah, I said that in my language, did I?" Clarice can feel the heat creep onto her face but rather than the usual embarrassment, she feels strangely calm. Clearing her throat first, she looks properly at Kaguya once again, and speaks. "I love you."

Kaguya stares at her. Her mouth opens and closes several times, as if she can't figure out what to say, before she promptly closes it. And there, Clarice sees it, the pink blossoming across her face, and suddenly Kaguya is looking away from her, covering her face with her hand.

"... Kaguya?" Clarice isn't sure what to think about this reaction.

"S-sorry, when you just look at me like that and then just say that without warning, it's just..." Kaguya's blush deepens and Clarice understands now, because she's always on the receiving end of this instead. It does feel nice to see Kaguya like this, though, and it makes her smile.

"Before I forget though, I also made this..." Clarice pulls out a thin silver chain, "I know wearing a ring might interfere with your work so you can wear it as a necklace as well."

"Oh, Clarice..." Kaguya takes the chain, holding it just like the ring as if it might break if she were to do anything excess to it. She carefully puts it away in her pouch, and when she returns her attention to Clarice, she's smiling softly. "I love you."

Clarice feels it again, that swell of emotion that must be happiness, and there's also that knot of guilt that she still can't get rid of, that she would dare feel this happiness after all she has done. Perhaps she will feel like this for the rest of her life.

Her family is gone. The lives she's taken will never come back. There are those who might never forgive what she has done no matter how much she tries to atone.

Kaguya reaches out with both of her hands, cradling Clarice's face, and the look on her face is so tender and fond that Clarice feels that painful tightness inside of her again. To be looked at with such open affection still makes her choke up and her vision turns watery. She allows Kaguya to pull her close again, and she wants nothing more but to cling to her, to hold her until her hands hurt, to be certain she won't disappear.

Even if this happiness might also be taken away from her one day, she wants to hold onto it for as long as possible.