Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was late. Spamton knew it was late as he combed through the scripts for his ads. He needed to make sure it was all set for the next morning. But given that he nearly fell asleep at his desk ten times now….

Make that eleven. Spamton gave up. Dropping the scripts to his vanity/desk and stretching his arms over his head. He checked his watch and saw it was half past midnight. He stood up and left the dressing room/office to make his way down the hall towards the green room. He’d grab a coffee or something, maybe take a twenty minute nap before returning to the old grindstone. 

He paused when he saw the red light above the studio doors.

ON AIR!  

On air? But it was the middle of the night!? How could they be on air right now? 

Spamton moved to the studio door, careful to remain quiet as he pushed it open a crack. 

The stage was in rerun mode. A mode where a screen was down over the stage itself as a projector played what looked like an old adult cartoon. The kind networks play when kids should be sleeping. A tame one though, Spamton had made a handful of bootleg ads for it, kids ate it up. 

He followed the light to where the projector was and saw a silhouette sitting next to it, the only thing to give away who it was ( besides the obvious square head) was the light glowing from its face, mirroring the projector. 

Spamton climbed the stairs to the projector room and peeked in. 

Sure enough Tenna was sitting in his chair, leaning back with his feet resting on the desk. Legs crossed. Spamton knocked lightly on the door, making Tenna turn towards him. He waved though his face didn’t return.

“ Hey!” He greeted in a hushed voice.

“ Oh so it’s safe to talk?” Spamton asked, following his business partner’s lead with the hushed tone. 

“ Oh yeah,” Tenna gestured to one of the seats by the sound board, “ I’m in rerun mode, which means I can divide a little bit of my attention,” He explained, stretching his arms over his head as he removed his feet from the desk.

“ Whose watching at this hour?” Spamton asked as he looked to the screen.

“ I’m normally not a praying man but if you’re up there, please save me superman! ” 

“ Kris,” Tenna answered as the yellow characters did their antics. “ They had a nightmare and just need a little distraction, they’ll konk out in about…..” Tenna checked his watch, “ actually maybe they have,” He leaned over and flipped a switch on the sound bored.

“ Kris…” Spamton echoed, he’d heard Tenna mention his household family, but he didn’t know much about them. He knew of Noelle since the queen would not shut up about her. He was always a little annoyed to see Tenna was the same way, but at least Tenna wasn’t annoying about it. In fact it was endearing.

“ Which one is Kris again?” A monitor turned on as if on cue, and displayed a black and white image of a living room, a couch in frame. Sitting on the floor in front of the couch, way too close to the camera, was a small child. 

“ That one's Kris .” Tenna answered. Spamton turned fully to examine the child. He’d never seen either lightner family before. He was a spam folder- salesman in Cyber city, so only the queen really got to interact with Noelle. And TV Time wasn’t even his world so why would he even try with the Dreemers. 

Kris was a human child with messy hair over their eyes. It was clear even with the obstruction that the child was crying, but as the yellow man fell off a cliff in the cartoon and hit every ledge on the way down the child giggled, and smiled. 

Spamton glanced at Tenna who seemed to glow a bit brighter when Kris smiled. He’d only seen Tenna glow like that after a few drinks… and they were alone whispering big dreams of reaching the heavens together. 

The salesman found himself smiling softly at it. 

As previously stated… It was endearing when it was Tenna. 

Tenna noticed his staring, because of course he would. He always knew when eyes were on him. 

“ What is it?” He chuckled.Spamton chuckled himself and shook his head.

“ Nothing…. You’re just cute sometimes…. You should try being it more often,"he added playfully. Tenna made a mock gasp sound and playfully “kicked” Spamton. 

“ Rude.” He looked back at the monitor where Kris was starting to nod off. 

“ No but really, it’s so cute that you’re so fond of this kid. They must mean a lot to you…”

“ Well… the Dreemer family as a whole is my whole world but Kris…. Kris is my favorite. They spend the most time with me…. I wish it was under better circumstances…” his screen dimmed, “ But! Still, I’m happy to entertain!”

 Kris suddenly flopped onto the floor and was snoring. With that Tenna stood up and stretched.

“ And the curtains finally close,” He turned off the projector and unplugged himself. Blinking so his face returned to his screen, smiling at Spamton, “ Speaking of. You look tired Bigshot,” he cooed softly as he smoothed the small salesman’s hair back. 

“ Hm, well those ad scripts won’t finish themselves… was on my way to grab a nap when I saw the on air light,” He explained with a hum. 

“ How about I grab a nap with you then we can try to crank through those together to get them done and go to bed?” Tenna suggested, Spamton scoffed.

“ You don’t have to do that for me, besides the host should be well rested,” he argued as he stood up.

“ I suppose but I still want to help my little Mailman,” Tenna tipped Spamton’s chin up then booped his nose. Causing the other to roll his eyes. 

“ I’m fine Tenna, really.” He looked back at the monitor that had Kris on it. 

Kris was standing in the center of the screen. Their eyes hidden from view behind their hair.

“ Hey Tenna, your brat’s awake-” when Spamton turned to address the tv but he found he was in an empty room. 

A phone rang. 

He looked back at the monitor. Now just a single TV sitting on the floor. Not just any TV. Tenna’s Face.  

Kris was standing a little closer now. 

The phone rang. 

green liquid started to fill the room, when Spamton tried to find the source but it was just a void. 

He looked back, Tenna’s head was larger Kris was closer. Spamton could see the child’s eyes. He could see the red pupils and the dead hopeless expression. 

The Phone rang. 

Kris banged on the screen, tears were streaming down their face. Red strings were wrapping around the child’s neck. Spamton moved to the screen, maybe to wake Tenna up? Could he wake Tenna up ?! 

But at the same time he felt a yank around his own neck. He looked at his wrist and saw green strings connected to him, he looked back at Kris to see the child being dragged back into the dark. 

He reached for the child, but he too was yanked back. Falling into the green acid. He felt it burning his skin. 

“ Wait, no no no! Wait! Stop! DON’T- ”

“ KRIS!” Spamton woke with a start, his heart hammering painfully in his chest. After a pause he realized he was in his shop, waiting. 

Right… he was waiting.

 He held his head in his hands to try and soothe the headache away. His interaction with the lightener earlier that day clearly caused the nightmare. 

He didn’t immediately recognize the child. But it didn’t take long for that hair and face to click in his mind. 

Admittedly his focus was more on the red soul sitting in the child’s chest. Something in the child’s eyes sent a familiar dread in the salesman. So Spamton had requested a closer look and to his amazement Kris obliged, presenting it with ease. 

Still tense though, like they were expecting him to initiate a battle. 

Kris seemed confused when instead Spamton had slowly approached and ginger touched the red strings that he saw connecting the soul to Kris. But unlike Kris’s own soul that would be a single string to their chest, it was five strings. On to their head, two to their wrists and two to their ankles. 

He knew his suspicions were right the second he touched the strings and the soul retreated back into Kris’ chest with such force the child actually stumbled. 

Clearly not an action Kris had done. 

This thing was separate from Kris. Controlling them. 

The look in the child’s eyes as it looked to Spamton. A simple question that Spamton knew was ringing in their mind.

Do you know? Do you see it? 

Kris wasn’t in control. 

A part of him wanted to leave the child to figure it out on their own. He had his own problems. But then Tenna’s soft smile came to mind. The way his screen glowed brighter when he watched Kris on the monitor. 

“ HEY HEY HEY! I’VE NEVER SEEN A [ Heart Shaped Object]  MY EYES ARE [[Burning!!]] LIKE [[DVD’s of any Movie half price!!]] I HAVE A SPECIAL [deal] FOR YOU KID!”  Kris blinked in shocked confusion so Spamton just moved on, turning to walk away.

“ I’LL BE WAITING AT MY [[ home-made storefront site!]] IN THE[[ trash area closed for repairs]] IF YOUR INTERESTED. “ He started to walk away, then paused.

“AND KRIS. COME… ALONE… IF… YOU… CAN… ” The soul had felt weaker than whatever had Spamton’s strings. So he hoped Kris was able to remove it somewhere. Maybe not though. 

Spamton couldn’t remove his own after all. 

And that was how he ended up here, drumming his fingers along the counter, waiting for Kris to arrive… if he’d arrive. 

Why was he even doing this? He didn’t know Kris at all. Kris was Tenna’s kid. And Tenna , That lousy no good hunk of junk, left him behind! 

All that talk of partners was all bullshit. He didn’t owe Tenna this. He didn’t owe Tenna his kid’s safety. 

The door bell rang, snapping Spamton back to the present. It was Kris, they looked concerned but shut the door quickly behind them. 

“ WELL LOOK WHAT THE [cat food 5.99!] DRAGGED IN!” Spamton greeted, he glanced down at the soul still sitting in the child’s chest. “ YOU CAME [ alone on a friday night?] Spamton asked, Kris made a so/so gesture. 

“ My friends are waiting outside.” Kris answered simply, Spamton nodded. Well he supposed without the soul was too much to ask. He’d have to tread carefully so it didn’t know what he was up to. 

“ GOOD! I LIKE A KID THAT CAN FOLLOW [ instruction manual included].” Kris looked like they had questions and they even opened their mouth to ask. 

“ What…” there was a pause, like the words were dying in their mouth. Or like a barrier was stopping them .” How-” Spamton watched Kris get increasingly frustrated as the questions they wanted to ask refused to leave their mouth. He was grateful his puppet face didn’t change from his smile because he wasn’t sure the pitying look that would come over him. 

He could sympathise so much. It hurt his chest to see the child Tenna fawned over struggling the same way he did.  

Did Tenna know?  

He couldn’t possibly know, if he did he’d have done something….

Spamton saw the soul glow and watched a thread from it to Kris’ head make itself visible and pulse. He watched Kris try to resist the soul’s influence but the words vomited out of him. 

“ Tell me about you?” That… didn’t sound like the kid’s voice. Well  it did but not in the same cadence as it was before. Before Kris sounded tired, stressed. But this was upbeat. Eager. 

“ I USED TO BE THE EMAIL GUY,” Spamton started to explain, maybe he could explain how he knew Kris then Kris would understand what he was doing- “ NOW I’M THE [ It burns! Ow! Stop! Help me! It burns!] GUY!” Okay that he didn’t want to disclose, and he pressed a fist to his forehead and closed his eyes in frustration. 

He heard Kris make a soft ha sound. He looked up to see that they had a look of understanding in their eyes. Spamton gave a weak ha in response that quickly turned into his unhinged laughter he couldn’t stop. 

It seemed the soul wanted as much information on Spamton as possible, given that Spamton had interacted with it directly he couldn’t say he was shocked. 

Kris asked about his friends, he let slip his thoughts on Mike, and by extension Tenna. Telling the child not to trust everything they see on TV. Even though Spamton knew damn well Tenna would never hurt Kris… right? No! Of course not! 

Kris was Tenna’s favorite! His Kris . 

Kris asked about his fears, which Spamton tried to play off, and likely failed based on the way Kris’s skin went pale. 

Kris asked about his merch, which made Spamton go into salesman mode. The child bought a couple of his power ups, and noticed a small pin that got mixed into the merch. 

Kris picked it up out of the box, and the second Spamton saw its yellow coloring he knew what it was.

“ THAT’S [ not for sale] SORRY!” He tried to take it from the kid. Kris raised an eyebrow but didn’t press. He let Spamton take it. The TV time pin he used to wear. It made the puppet’s chest hurt. 

“ About our deal?” Kris finally asked, and Spamton jumped into action.

“ YES! YES OUR [ deal of the year] OF COURSE! LISTEN!” He started digging through his chest and pulled out a blueprint. He unrolled it, his arms not quite long enough to stop it from rolling back up. 

Kris wordlessly placed his hand on one end for him. Spamton pointed at the blue print. 

“ LISTEN, IN THE [deep abyss] OF THE QUEENS [ mansion] [ a great deal] IS WATING FOR [ a limited time only ]  A HEAVEN-PIERCING [ workout- ready body].” Spamton saw Kris’ brow furrow in confusion. A part of the puppet wanted to clarify what the Neo body was, that it was something he started looking into for Tenna but … well that didn’t matter anymore. 

Besides, he also didn’t want to explain it. 

“[ designed by the classics you’ve come to expect ©1997] KRIS THAT [little nipper] IS OUR [one-way ticket] TO MAKE YOU [big].” Then spamton added to keep the soul on its toes “MAKE ME [Big].” Lean into the the selfish Saleman persona, lean the fuck into it.  

It wasn’t too hard since Spamton was more a less… a selfish salesman. He knew what he was. 

“ How do you know my name?” Kris asked suddenly, Spamton paused, looking up at the child. Kris also looked surprised they'd been allowed to ask. He struggled to think of an excuse. 

“ WHO DOESN’T KNOW YOUR NAME!” He asked in response, Kris’s brows furrowed but he didn’t press. Yes, perfect. “ EVERY DARKENER KNOWS [as seen on tv]” God damn it.  Kris didn’t question it so Spamton kept going as if it was normal. “ [ but don’t touch that dial!]” stop!!

“ BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, WE WILL BE TAKING [ a ride around town on our special Cungadero] VACATIONING IN [burning acid] WHILE YOU SOAK IN THE [ hyperlink blocked]!” 

“ BUT KRIS DON’T [ breathe]  YET!! THE WAY IS LOCKED BY [ high quality encryption]!!! YOU WILL NEVER GET INSIDE. “ Kris deflated, and Spamton almost just handed him exactly what he needed. No no no, lean into the salesman persona, the soul can’t know what you're up to. Play it like you're tricking him into helping you, not the other way around. 

“ WAIT KRIS, LOOK! HEAR THOSE [balloons] ??? YOU ARE THE [ 1000th customer]!!! AS A [ commemorative ring!!] I WILL LET YOU BUY [keygen] FROM ME AT [ the low low price of]” He let the numbers role. 

“ Why can’t you go?” Kris asked, and Spamton stiffened.

“ WHAT?! GO MYASELF?! KRIS!! NO!!! THE MEN INSIDE WOULD- THE MEN INSIDE WOULD- THE MEN INSIDE WOULD-” Crap. Stop. Stop. “ THE MEN INSIDE WOULD- THE MEN INSIDE WOULD- THE MEN INSIDE WOULD-” C’mon stop it, you’re scaring the kid. 

Kris was pale and took an anxious step back as the loop continued, Spamton finally gripped the counter and slammed his head hard against it to stop it. 

It caused a ripple of pain through his being but he fell silent once more. He released a breath and held his head.

“ BUY THE KEYGEN FROM ME. UNLOCK THE BASEMENT. AND GET THE EMPTY DISK.] Spamton instructed, choosing his words carefully. There was a pause, then Kris slapped Kromer on the counter. 

Purchase made.  

Spamton gave the kid a thumbs up as they hurried out of the shop. Then he rested his head on the counter. 

Great. Great job Spamton. Kris is probably not coming back because you scared them! You stupid puppet! 

He glanced at the TV time pin. Rubbing his forehead. 

God, you better appreciate this Tenna.  

Kris returned. He didn’t dare believe it, but Kris came in and slammed the empty disk on the counter top. Panting like they’d run there. Spamton blinked, and looked up to see a small red sting trailing from Kris’s mouth. His gaze fell to the child’s chest and realized with eyes wide that there was no soul there.

“ YOU CAME ALONE.” He stated, Kris nodded. 

“ It was a pain in the ass, but I found a birdcage outside to stuff it in. I have like an hour before it works itself back here,” they explained quickly. Frantically. 

“ You can see it? The strings? The soul? No one else can see it! How can you see it?! And what does this soul have to do with your plan for that body?” they demanded. Fast talking that almost reminded Spamton of Tenna when he was stressed or excited. 

“ YOU AND I HAVE THE SAME [ailments? Call your local pharmacist today!] 

“ You have a soul controlling you too?” Kris asked. Spamton tried to think of how he’d answer that. He glanced at the phone he couldn’t seem to bring himself to get rid of.

“ NOT QUITE.” Kris followed his gaze, “ IT’S. COMPLICATED. AND UNIMPORTANT.” 

“ Are you trying to help me or ….” Kris asked, “ Look if this is all for you fine, but I need to know. You’re the first person who sees the soul,” they didn’t want their hopes to be crushed. Spamton could understand.

“ THIS DEAL IS FOR [your benefit]” Spamton tried to reassure him, “ BUT WE DON’T WANT [ Vermin infestation? Call the exterminators!]  TO CATCH WIND.” Kris nodded. 

“ Okay… what next?” they said seriously, Spamton picked up the disk. 

“ I AM GOING TO TRANSFER MY [hyperlink blocked] ONTO THIS. AFTER. THIS IS VERY. VERY IMPORTANT.” Spamton leaned over the counter. Standing on it so he could get closer. Kris nodded, “ GO BACK. AND PUT. THE DISK. BACK. WHERE YOU. GOT IT.” Kris nodded again.

“ Back where I got it.” They echoed, and Spamton nodded. Kris took the disk back before Spamton could transfer himself though, “ How do you know my name? Why are you helping me?” Spamton sighed heavily.

“ WE… HAVE A MUTUAL [ friend request accepted]” 

“Who-” 

“ NOT IMPORTANT, [ tic toc, tic toc.]  Spamton tapped his wrist to emphasise the soul would be coming back. Kris looked frustrated but handed the disk back. 

“ Fine! Fine! But this isn’t over!” Spamton took it and performed the transfer. 

The next thing he knew he was awake in the neo body. He saw Kris’ silhouette walking away but stopped when he heard the body shift and groan. Spamton got up, stumbling slightly.

“ HOLY [cungadero] DO I FEEL GOOD. HERE I AM KRIS! BIG! BIG! bIGGER THAN EVER!” The power was too much, he could feel his sanity slipping. The tugging of strings. 

No, don't worry about that, focus. FOCUS Spamton.

“ KRIS! KRIS! KRIS! THAT’S RIGHT. YOU. I NEED YOU.” Kris was looking nervous as Spamton advanced on them. Uncertaintly. 

No, don't be scared, I'm trying to help you. 

“ TO BE BIG. WITH ME.” Kris’ back hit a wall. An insane thought crossed Spamton’s mind, could he absorb the child’s soul? That wouldn’t kill them , and he’d be able to protect them from the strings! 

Focus Spamton, back up plan. That can be the back up plan. Focus! 

“ I JUST NEED THAT LITTLE. [[ SOUL]] YOU HAVE.” Please understand what I’m saying, please. Kris stared for a horrified minute then the battle box appeared. No no No, I don’t want to fight you-

It was too small. In fact it was only big enough for the soul to sit in. Spamton understood immediately. He grinned, and powered up his laser arm, aiming for the red heart. 

“ JUST… HOLD STILL. THIS MIGHT STING.” Spamton didn’t know. Kris closed their eyes and braised themselves for it. THe gun was powering up.

Spamton felt a manic grin start to grow. First this soul then his pathetic benefactor.

He felt a hard knock to his gun arm. Sending the blast into the wall next to Kris. Then another blow sent Spamton back, skidding into the ground. 

No! No he was so close! 

He looked up to see a purple dinosaur girl and a goat thing? Running up to Kris. 

“ Kris! What the hell was that weirdo?!” the dinosaur asked, Kris was watching Spamton with wide eyes, they made to hurry him, but the goat kid grabbed their arm. 

“ Kris we were worried about you so-” Spamton looked up at the soul inside the battle box. It was pulsing. 

No no no! 

He got up and made to grab it only for the small box Kris had made for it to shatter . The red strings erupted from it and latched to the child before Spamton could stop them. 

Only Spamton noticed the jerky ragdoll-like motions Kris made as they  aimed their sword at them, and sent a large glowing red heart at him. 

Spamton could see the fear and regret in the child’s eyes. 

It’s okay, I know, I know it’s hard. 

The bigshot ripped through him, he heard one of the cables snap, but he didn’t process it. His gaze focused on the soul as he spoke.

“ KRIS WAS THAT A [BIG SHOT] JUST NOW?! WOW!! I’M SO [proud] OF YOU! I COULD [killed] YOU! “ Kris was shaking, but their stance didn’t fall. 

 The jig was up, the soul knew what Spamton was doing. It wasn’t going down without a fight. Fine . Spamton summoned his own battle box. Big enough for his own attacks to be able to snake around it.  

Kris looked like this was the last thing they wanted to do but Spamton knew they couldn’t stop it.

Don’t worry kiddo, Uncle Spamton G. Spamton’s gonna take care of it.

Spamton did not take care of it. 

That damn soul was more powerful than he thought. Maybe Kris was stronger than he thought which was why he was able to remove it earlier? Who knows. All he knew was he was spent. Beaten. His limbs shaking, his strings severed but was that a good thing?

He could feel his life draining from his very being. He heard footsteps running towards him.

“ Kris, wait up!” 

“ Can we just get out of here!?” 

Spamton looked up to see Kris running to him. They were upset … over him? No c’mon kid, I’m not worth it.  

Tears were spilling from the kid’s eyes. Spamton smiled at them, trying to be reassuring.

“ I-I’m sorry, i’m sorry I didn’t want to- I tried-” 

“ It seems,” Spamton started, finding he was able to voice his thoughts for the first time in a long time, “ after all I couldn’t be anything more than a simple puppet. . . “ A stupid puppet .” But you three… you’re strong” I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. ” With a power like that… maybe you three can break your own strings.”  

He tried to shoo Kris away but they shook their head. Spamton could see that Kris’s friends were confused. They didn’t understand. They couldn’t understand. 

Spamton must have been the first bit of hope Kris had to overcome this issue. And he failed.  

… or did he?

Spamton G. Spamton, #1 salesman 1997 was not about to give up! So Neo didn’t work. But if he could work behind the screens…..

“ Let me become your strength.” Spamton offered, Kris looked confused, but gave a weak nod. With that Spamton let his existence fizzle into just his glasses. They fell to the ground. There was a pause before Kris picked them up. Their lip trembled before they placed him on their face. 

Dealmaker equipped.  

“... Kris?” The goat kid started but Kris just held up their hand to show they didn’t want to talk about it.  

Spamton needed to rest now, but he swore this wasn’t over. He was going to eliminate that soul. One way. 

Or another. 

Chapter Text

Spamton hadn’t expected to wake up so soon after Kris defeated the queen and returned to the light world. After sealing the dark fountain of Cyber city. 

For him it felt like a blink though so maybe it wasn’t so soon. Especially since even sitting atop Kris’ head as the dealmakers he could see dust and darkness surrounding him. Then a blinding light from the ceiling…

Was that… a spotlight? 

“ Kris! Kris wake up! We’re in a dark world,” Susie kicked Kris and subsequently Spamton over in an attempt to wake the human up. They looked around, Kris’s hand immediately went to fidget with the dealmakers. Spamton did his best to push a reassuring energy back. 

I’m still here. 

He noticed throughout Kris’s adventure in cyber city that the child had a habit of fidgeting with him specifically when they were nervous. Spamton had tried to communicate with him, and Kris seemed to get the idea. Sometimes chuckling at Spamton’s poor jokes. 

Susie followed Kris along a dark wooden path. Spamton did his best to scan the area but between the blinding spot light, the dust and the dark surrounding them he couldn’t make sense of any of it. 

It didn’t take long for Ralsei to join them. Susie started awkwardly asking the darkener out… or maybe she wasn’t? Didn’t she have a thing for Noelle? 

Spamton thought about pressing Kris about it and then decided he didn’t care. 

Besides, it wasn't like asking to hang out with a friend was any less awkward. He remembered the first time Tenna invited him for drinks. Poor Television was an awkward mess about the whole thing….

Spamton wasn’t much better about saying yes. 

Then again maybe that didn’t count given what went on later on. Spamton wasn’t listening as Ralsei started to explain the ins and outs of the dark world.

Things he already knew. No one needed to tell him . He was busy trying to figure out where they were. 

As well as keeping tabs on the soul puppeting Kris. For the most part it was tame right now, present but allowing Kris to meander as they pleased. Spamton wanted to crush it between his fingers when he felt it pulse and puppet the poor kid completely. Unfortunately as Kris’ inventory if he tried anything the soul simply… unequipped him.

Or worse, gave him to someone else. He still had a headache from being handed over to the Birdly guy after he got a bit cocky and made a swipe for the soul. 

But, and spamton took great pride in this, the soul still kept him around. Given his fun little quirk about granting them more money from battles. As well as the bonus treat only Kris got . His salesman insight. He could see the weakness in anyone. He could tell Kris where to focus the attack, how to get under their skin. 

Susie was throwing some weird heartfelt tantrum that brought Spamton back to the present. Kris nervously fidgeted with him again, looking around the dark space anxiously. 

When they did, Spamton got a better look around them. He could see shadows below the wooden platforms…

Several shadows. 

Like a crowd in seats.

Like an audience . 

Spamton’s attention flashed to the spotlight, he saw a familiar almost hexagon silhouette maneuvering it to follow them.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh fuck- wait… why am I freaking out? Spamton wasn’t  Spamton he was the dealmaker as long as he didn’t do anything stupid everything would be okay. In fact this was probably the best place for a random ass fountain to show up.

Spamton tried to communicate with Kris. Nothing happened at first then, experimentally the pushed him down so he sat on the bridge of their nose. 

“ HEY! KID! [ can you hear me now?]” Kris seemed startled but nodded eagerly. Nearly knocking Spamton off his face, “ AH! DON’T SHAKE [ the goods!] “ Kris stopped, “ JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU, [ not to panic! She said not to panic] YOU ARE IN [safe hands]” Spamton felt Kris’ nose scrunch up as he no doubt was skeptical. But they did push him back to the top of his head and seemed to be trusting him. 

Which was good timing because the spotlight narrowed to just Susie and Ralsei, and a loud, painfully familiar voice boomed over the dark space.

“ And the audience has been brought to tears folks! ” Spamton tried to keep his anxiety to himself. Kris was safe. As long as Kris was what he saw everything would be fine. 

Don’t. Do. Anything. Stupid. 

Both Ralsei and Susie looked to the dark but could find the source, Spamton didn’t bother. It wouldn’t matter. He couldn’t resist a show boaty entrance. 

“ Who the heck are you?!” Susie shouted 

“ Hahah! I was hoping you’d ask!”

Oh no, do not, please for the love of god do not do what I think you’re gonna do Ten-

“ MIKE! PLAY THE VHS!” 

God fucking damn it.  Spamton already had a stupid headache from the spotlight. The world went dark and magic swirled around them as the achingly familiar show jingle played the show's intro. Spamton remembered when he thought it was whimsical, fun that Tenna and Mike could shift and twist the world-

“ Sing it with him folks!” A massive image of Tenna pointed to a silhouette of the man.” 

Did he … did he replace me…. With HIM FUCKING SELF?! Spamton almost reformed right then and there to pounce on the tv. He knew he could! Lancer did it all the fucking time! 

“ Mr. (Ant) Tenna’s TV. TIME!!! ” Tenna now stood on a fully lit stage with them in all his glory. Grinning at the kids and in Spamton’s direction ( admittedly unknowingly.) 

“ What Lovely Contestants we got today folks!” Tenna addressed the audience before turning fully to the lighteners. 

With the heartbreaking smile, the same stunning red suit jacket, the same black pants, yellow belt and tie. The same damn TV TIME pin. He still used the corded microphone so he had the mic in one hand and the cable in the other as he moved to stand in front of them. Towering over them. 

Spamton couldn’t help but notice though that Tenna was twirling the cable around his fingers. 

He’s upset about something…but what?  

“ Contestants?" Ralsei asked, and Tenna beamed at him.

“ Yes! You’re on my game show!” 

“ Look, we don't even know how we got here!” Susie argued, “ We don’t have time for this!”

“ Oh sure you do! Kris!” Tenna turned fully towards the child in question, his smile was tight and forced, “ you got… bigger…. Since I last saw you…” 

What? Spamton would have blinked if he wasn’t glasses. What did that mean? What did he mean since I last saw you?  

Spamton was tempted to reapear just to see what Tenna would say about him. Probably you got smaller . Before punting him into the wall…. Yeah better not. 

“ Wait… you know Kris?” Susie asked, pointing at them. 

“ It’s like I was telling you Susie, Darkeners are objects in the real world…” Ralsei tried to explain. 

“ and Kris and I fell asleep on the couch watching… tv…are you… Kris’s tv ?” Susie asked in disbelief.

“ Oh we havent’ gotten into the first round yet but what the hell, Mike give her five points!” Tenna beamed, “ yes! I am, you watched me last night! Blood crusher,” he turned to Kris again, “ Interesting choice.” Kris shrugged noncomittally, and Spamton saw Tenna’s smile twitch.

“ Dude when was the last time you plugged this guy in if the world is filled with dust and you got bigger on him?” Susie laughed and Spamton felt his heart plummet.

Plugged in?  . . . had Tenna been unplugged?! Kris shrugged.

“ Mom unplugs the tv when she’s not using it, saves on power-” 

“ Which is absolutely rediculous! I don’t take up that much a measley 150 watts. Not that much,” he insisted in clear denial. Spamton felt his heart sink more.

Oh… oh Tenna…  Granted things were clearly still easier for Tenna than Spamton over the last few years but…. It hadn’t been easy for the tv either. 

“ Anway! Let’s get started with our game show, today folks we have many grand prizes!” Tenna started to list off the prizes while Kris hesitantly fidgeted with the glasses again. 

You’re fine. It’s fine. Tenna wouldn’t hurt you . 

Even if he seemed a little… off. . . 

“ We’re not playing your stupid game!” Susie snapped, Spamton would have face palmed if he could.

You can’t just say that Susie! Tenna turned to her.

“ What? But… you’re contestants… and the game show-”

“ No! We’re not, we’re leaving?” Tenna shrunk.

“ Oh…” He glanced hopefully at Kris, and while Spamton knew Kris felt a bit of guilt about it, he also knew enough from his interactions with Kris that when the Soul was running the show they were practically expressionless. 

“ Oh… okay… that’s fine,” He shrunk some more, “ I’ll just stay here with the title screen I guess…” He sulked. Spamton resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Which was easy because he didn’t have any.

“ IGNORE HIM KRIS. HE’S JUST BEING A [drama queen]”  Kris nudged the glasses to show they got the message. 

“ Well. . . Susie, maybe… we could play… since I can’t watch tv with you maybe we could be on tv? And stuff.” Ralsei suggested, Tenna perked up a little, turning his head to look at them. 

“....” Susie sighed in an annoyed way, “ Fine. I guess.” Tenna turned fully to them, both hands on his mic.

“” So you’ll play?!” He asked eagerly, Spamton would have laughed.

 Damn when did he get so needy . … Actually scratch that, he was always needy. It might be a bit worse now though.  

“ Yeah, we will…”

“ GREAT! MIKE PUT THE SHOW BACK ON!” Tenna grinned, as he pointed to the audience, “ Come on, we’ll introduce you to the cast, let you freshen up in your own dressing room ~ Then! THEN! We can get this show on the road!” Tenna gestured for them to follow him as he marched down the stage. 

“ Pippins, Ram, one of you, show these guys to an empty dressing room will you,” Tenna ordered, then turned to Kris, grinning too wide and bending down too low.

Ease up CTR, you’re gonna make the kid nervous. … if you haven’t already . 

Lord knows he made Spamton nervous… 

“ Let Ram know when you're ready to start the show! Don’t take too long though Kris, the show starts in twenty whether you're ready or not. ” He said the last part tensely, before turning, “ Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to check on something.” He tugged on his suit and hurried off. 

Ram and Pippins were flipping through their notes.

“ It’s the only empty one-”

“ I promise you luv he wouldn’t want you to put them there .” 

“ But it’s the only empty one .” Ram gave up, hands in the air. Spamton remembered how easy it was to exasperate the old extension cord.

“ Fine! Fine, but when he pitches a fit it’s your head!” Ram turned and walked away, leaving Pippins to stand there awkwardly. 

“ Hey! Kris, Susie, Ralsei. Um…come with me, I’ll take you to your dressing room.” They led the kids to the green room. 

Spamton was briefly flooded with memories. Of him sitting at the bar, laughing it up with the shadow boys before Tenna would come over and scold them all for goofing off. 

Late nights at the couch…. Spamton was gonna stop that thought there. He noticed they were walking past most of the other dressing rooms, and as they walked the more… dusty the hall got.

Wait, Spamton knew this path. 

Knew it like the back of his barely existent hand. 

He saw the familiar door, the star that once had his name on it now had a poster with a simple Z over it. 

Z? What did Z mean? Why Z? 

“ Sorry about the mess, we didn’t know Mr.Tenna was going to ask us to give you a dressing room and well, this is the only empty one…” 

Well it shouldn’t be too messy. Sure Spamton left in a hurry but he didn’t leave it a mess . 

Kris opened the door and Spamton was speechless. 

The room was trashed. Posters ripped down, mirrors that he once prepped himself in shattered, his phone… the damn phone hanging off the hook. Susie and Ralsie stepped deeper in.

“ Wow…. you guys weirded out by this TV guy, he almost seems as weird as that puppet guy from Cyber City- C’mon Kris don’t give me that look, he was fucking weird.” Spamton felt a small bubble of pride and fondness come through him at knowing Kris did not take kindly to people bad mouthing him. 

Kris hesitated, then took off the glasses and set them down on the vanity. 

“ Lancer reformed before… Can you?” They asked, and Spamton gave a heavy sigh before he decided to try. 

But for the record. He didn’t want to. 

It was weird to one minute be the size of glasses the next sitting on a vanity with his legs dangling off the edge. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time. Though the first time there was a towering tv man hovering over him- Focus Spamton.

“ Oh right… I forgot he was the glasses.” Susie admitted but did not apologize as she turned to examine the rest of the room.  Kris rolled their eyes at her but then turned back to Spamton, opening their mouth to ask something. 

But Spamton saw the soul pulse for a moment. This time he could see the red threads stitching their mouth shut.

It was getting worse. Kris put a hand to their mouth, then in a frustrated way gestured to the phone, then pointed at Spamton. 

Who tilted his head in confusion. Kris looked over their shoulders at the other two who did notice the poor human’s plight. Then they looked at one of the torn posters. They picked up a piece off the floor and held it out for Spamton to see.

It was of him. 

Or how he used to be. Kris pointed at it, then back at Spamton.

Ah . Right. Spamton had admitted that Kris and him had a mutual friend. 

“ ALRIGHT KRIS, YOU [ knocked it out of the park!] “ Spamton confirmed, Kris lowered the poster, “ BUT ME AND MR. TV STAR AND I [ now you’re just somebody that I used to know ] SO LET KEEP ME [ on the down low] “ 

“ What is he talking about?” Susie asked, moving closer. 

“ NEVER YOU MIND [rude] -A- [ saurus]! “ Spamton snapped at the dinosaur, “ I STILL BLAME YOU FOR RUINING MY PLANS YESTERDAY!”

“ What!? Your plans to kill Kris?!” Susie snapped back.

“ I WASN’T TRYING TO [ in the study with the candle stick!] KRIS! YOU HAVE NO [ ideas for your latest novel!]” Kris suddenly slammed a hand over Spamton’s mouth, based on the pulsing of the soul that wasn’t the human’s doing. Spamton narrowed his eyes at it but said nothing. 

“ Kris why did you keep this guy?” Susie asked, gesturing to him, “ I mean yeah he gets us money which is cool but that’s about it, he’s a psycho," 

“ ARE WE DONE HERE?” Spamton asked Kris who nodded, crossing their arms, “ OH AND JUST SOME [ friendly advice] DON’T. AGGRIVATE HIM.” 

“ Who? Tenna?” Susie asked, Spamton grinned at her, intentionally tipping his head so he looked unhinged. 

It had the desired effect of making the monster girl uncomfortable. 

“ IF HE. CAN SHRINK.” Spamton started, Ralsei perked up in realization.

“ He can grow.” Spamton tapped his nose before pointing at her.

“ [ ding ding ding] AND THE GENTLEMAN GETS A PRIZE!” There was a knock on the door.

“ Kris ( and friends) I’m respecting your privacy as a contestant by knocking but asserting my authority as your host by coming in anyway~” Spamton cursed and quickly jumped off his table at Kris, turning into the dealmakers as he did. Kris caught the glasses, fumbling with them between their hands for a minute before catching them as Tenna opened the door.

“ Hey hey! You’re on in five, how's my favorite stars doing?” He asked as he ducked into the room. Spamton noticed he shrunk a little as he looked into the room, “ I uh… wanted to apologize, I had no idea they’d give you this room . I don’t….come in here anymore….” He confessed, and Spamton felt some guilt sink into him, “ I can get you a different one! This one is for our least favorable guests… fitting for the man who owned it.

And the guilt was gone.

This fucking asshole.

Spamton felt jostles as Susie nudged Kris playfully. Pointing to the glasses. Then jerking a thumb at Tenna. Kris almost defensively held the glasses closer to their chest. 

“ I think … we’re good actually?” Ralsei turned uncertaintly to Kris who nodded, “ Yeah, we’re good.” Kris put the dealmakers back on top of their head. Tenna turned to them, and Spamton couldn’t help but feel like Tenna was looking right at him .

“ Oh.. um.. Okay.. Kris… nifty glasses. . . You know they kinda remind me of the swatchlings from Cyber City, have you guys been?” Tenna asked, Susie perked up.

“ Yeah actually we were just there yesterday.” 

“ you were!”

“ Yeah that’s where Kris got them, they-” Kris elbowed Susie hard suddenly. It didn’t actually hurt the girl but it did surprise her, “ found them in the trash,”  She finished, Tenna grimaced.

“ The trash ?” He asked, Kris hesitated then gave a weak shrug.

“ They seemed…. Cool.” They said, Spamton felt a pulse from the soul before Kris said the next sentence, “ I think they make me look like a big shot .” 

Why soul? Why are you such an asshole?!  

Tenne tensed, his screen dimmed, and his smile seemed forced

“ Ah haha, I … maybe, but you know… Being  a big shot is…. Overrated.” He offered sheepishly.

Oh ho ho! fuck you cathode! 

Kris gave another shrug.This one sheepish, and Spamton felt him fidget with the glasses. 

“ You know Kris, we actually have sunglasses at the gift shop! If you wanna take a look after the first round of games! Once you have some points!” 

“ This sets magic,” Susie pointed to the dealmakers, Tenna hummed.

“ Oh…well…. I will admit they are quite the fashion statement! Haha!”

“ Uh Mr.Tenna-”

“ WHAT?!” Tenna snapped, turning on the poor Pippins that had entered the room, surprising even Spamton. Poor Pippins took a startled step back, “ Can’t you see I’m talking to the lighteners right now Pippins !” Growing slightly in size, Susie grabbed Kris’ shoulder.

“ Uh.. you’re on in one minute sir?” They offered weakly, Tenna inhaled slowly, and ran a hand over his antennae  in a similar manner that Spamton used to smooth back his hair.

Did Tenna pick that up from him or the other way around? It was so hard to remember.

“ Right… right, great, thank you Pippins! We’ll be right there!” Tenna turned back to the kids.

“ It’s showtime! ” he grinned, pulling on the collar of his jacket, “ See you out there, “ He shot them a finger gun then left the room. 

“ We should grill that weirdo for more information on this guy…” Susie said nervously. Kris adjusted the deal makers then followed Tenna out of the dressing room. After another pause Susie and Ralsei followed them . 

Spamton could feel the uncertaintly starting to ebb off of Kris. but he tried to reassure the kid indirectly that Tenna wouldn’t hurt them.

Kris was his favorite. He wouldn’t hurt them. 

Though he was less sure the more he watched Tenna.

First thing they did was line up at booths, Tenna got on stage with his stupid mic and greeted the audience. 

“ Alright! And now let us begin, contestants, please, put in your names!” He gestured for them. Spamton felt the soul pulse again. 

Great, what was it doing now?! 

“ Alright, first we have RAL sei!” Tenna introduced the fellow darkling, “ Next up we have Susie- Oh! ” Susie had put ASS as their name, Tenna laughed.

“ Oh boy, we gotta be careful, the censors might kill me folks!” He tugged at his collar, “ and finally KRIS-” Tenna cut off, his frame completely still. There was a long awkward pause before Tenna recovered.

“ You know I don’t think that’s a name Kris,” He offered with a tight smile, “ How about we change that G to a uh…. A? You can be SAS.”  

Wait did the soul try to name them SGS?! HIS INITIALS.  The soul was trying to out him to Tenna?! Why?! What good did that do it?! Was it just stirring the pot?!

“ Anyway let’s start with the game folks.” Tenna was clearly bothered, he was twirling the cable around his whole hand now. Not just the fingers. 

The game in question seemed primarily a quiz show with the occasional battle segments slipped in. 

The questions were pretty simple and Spamton felt the Soul immediately take over the poor kid. Answering the stupid self aggrandizing questions with ease. 

Then things got interesting with the first real hiccup. 

“ What is Kris’ favorite food!” Tenna asked, Spamton actually knew the answer to this one, Tenna had told him long ago when they were partners. It was pie-  

Spamton watched the Soul go to … Chocolate? Why Chocolate?!  Spamton glanced at Tenna who was looking at the answer board in confusion. 

“ … That’s uh… wrong Kris…..” Tenna looked back at the child, who Spamton could feel fighting the soul’s influence over them. “ you know that.”  The concerned confusion on the television's face was enough to give the once salesman an idea. 

The soul wanted to try and out him to tenna? Well two could play that game. 

Spamton tried to push a little of his magic into Kris, to sooth them into taking a back seat.

Just hand the Soul the shovel. Let them keep digging . 

Nothing else of note truly happened until a later quiz question.

“ What was Asriel’s favorite character in smashing fighters?” Tenna asked, the soul picked a purple penguin. Tenna was horrified as the correct answer sword magician blinked on screen.

“ You don’t remember?!” He asked Kris, who stared blankly back at the TV. The actual kris having taken Spamton’s advice and let the soul have full control for the time being, “ He got embarrassed about liking the green dinosaur!” Tenna leaned on Kris’s quiz podium, trying to maintain eye contact with the human while frantically explaining this lore on a family the child should already know. “ And switched it to being a fan of the fiery magical girl, which is maybe it’s own type of embaressing… right Kris? Right? ” Spamton would have frowned at how…. Desperate Tenna sounded. When “Kris” gave no response Tenna’s brow furrowed. 

“ hahah, well anyway, lets move on.” 

“ God that sucked !” Susie complained as they started back to their green room. 

“ Hey, uh Kris!” Tenna called, and the soul made Kris look over at the TV, “ Can I have a word with you in my dressingroom?” Spamton felt smug as “Kris” turned and started to follow the tv man into the dressing room with his face on it. 

The moment the door closed Tenna’s face went black. 

“ Okay….” He started in a serious tone. Spamton would have grinned if he could. Check. Fucking. Mate asshole. “ I’m only going to ask this once.” Tenna towered over Kris, and Spamton felt a little anxiety ebb off the child, but he reassured them Tenna wouldn’t hurt them . 

“ Who are you? What have you done with Kris because you are not Kris .” Spamton waited, feeling triumphant that for once a plan of doing nothing had worked. 

He’d fed that stupid red heart rope and it had gone and hung itself. . . except it didn’t answer Tenna. It just stared blankly at him with Kris’ face.

“ Well?” Tenna pressed, his body starting to grow in anger, “ Answer me!” uh oh…

Spamton realized in that moment he’d hung himself too . As Tenna grabbed Kris and lifted them off the ground. 

Because Tenna didn’t know Kris was still here . He thought- Shit!

“ If you don’t tell me in the next three seconds what you did to my Kris I am going to break you. I don’t need all three contestants, do you understand?!” The soul said nothing. The soul didn’t let Kris say anything. 

“ One…..” Spamton cursed internally, “ Two….. two and a half- ” 

Ah Fuck it!

Spamton rematerialized right there on top of Kris’ head.

“ HEY [trashheap] BACK THE [$%&^] OFF! [ hands off the merchantdice!]” He snapped, Tenna blinked in surprise then dropped Kris suddenly.

“ Oh my god?! Is that a rat?!” 

“ A [ rat infestation? Call-] WHY YOU-” Spamton lunged at Tenna and the tv man screamed in surprise. 

Kris stumbled back, unknown to Spamton the soul released its iron grip. Point made. Having taken the damn puppet down with it. Meanwhile Kris was too stunned by the fact that Spamton was currently fighting their TV in the most unhinged way they could possibly imagine. 

He kept crawling on all fours around Tenna, the TV man would try to grab it, only for Spamton to bite him .

“ Ow! You! Little! PEST!” Tenna managed to grab Spamton by his shirt and the puppet kicked Tenna’s face. Hard enough to make the screen crack slightly. Tenna’s screen went dark again, and he raised the puppet over his head, clearly intending to throw Spamton into the ground as hard as he could, but Spamton got the upper hand and slipped from his coat and to the top of Tenna’s head where he produced one of his exploding pipis and was about to bring it down on him.

“ SPAMTON STOP!” Kris shouted suddenly and that made both pause. Tenna in seeming shock, in fact Kris would later say they thought they saw a buffering icon on the tv’s face. Spamton in exasperation. But he obliged and tossed the pipis to the side. 

“ YOU [ injured in an accident?]” Spamton asked, jumping off Tenna as if he hadn’t been crawling all over the tv like a rabid squirrel. Tenna straightened.

“ Spamton?” Spamton looked back at Tenna over his shoulder. 

“ SORRY [ vermin] DON’T HAVE TIME FOR CONVERSATION, I HAVE [ child on board]  TO CHECK ON-”

“ I’m not a child! I go to high school!” Kris snapped, Spamton waved it off.

“ SCHOOL IS [ back to school].” Kris stubbornly crossed their arms.

“ Do …. You two … know each other?” Tenna asked uncomfortably, Spamton could only imagine it was weird seeing your ex partner rather friendly with your favorite kid. But in the moment Spamton also didn’t care . Because Tenna had taken a step closer to Kris while he was speaking, so Spamton snapped back to him.

“ [Get away] FROM THEM [ you fiend!] “ They snapped, about to lunge at Tenna again, who held up his hands in defense. 

“ Spamton stop it!” Kris complained, grabbing Spamton’s arms to keep him from attacking the TV again. 

“ HE COULD HAVE [ crushed under landslide] YOU!” Spamton snapped back.

“ Yeah, and whose idea was it to let the soul answer the quizzes?!" Kris snapped back in frustration, Spamton opened his mouth to argue but all that came out was annoying garbage noise. 

“ What…are you two talking about?” Tenna asked, Kris and Spamton looked back at the tv, then Kris looked back at Spamton. 

“ I-” The human’s voice died in their throat., Spamton gave an annoyed sigh, but he knew the kid couldn’t help it.

“[ you are currently out of minutes, please contact your cellular provider]?” Spamton asked, Kris made a face, but said nothing. 

“ What is going on?!” Tenna asked, “ Are you Kris or are you not?! And you!” He turned on Spamton, “ You have some nerve showing up here after you’ve been gone for so many years!” Spamton crossed his arms but didn’t comment. Kris crossed their arms anxiously, clearly nervous Tenna was going to attack them again. 

“ THEY’RE IN THERE.” Spamton answered, “ BUT THEY’RE NOT [ alone on a friday night?]” Tenna blinked in confusion.

“ What does that mean?” He asked, “ And why are you talking like that?” He asked.

“ COMPLICATED,” Spamton answered, Tenna looked like he was forming a headache.

“ Mr. Tenna you’re on in-”

“ I’m busy! Tell Mike I need twenty more minutes!” Tenna snapped through the door, shutting it before Pippins could fully open it. 

“ Uh but sir the uh… audience, “ 

“ Can wait! They. Can. Wait!” Tenna snapped, then turned back to Spamton and Kris. 

“ Someone. Needs to tell what the hell is going on…. Right now .” Spamton sighed, glancing at Kris before holding up a finger.

The problem was both of them had strings that didn’t like it when they spoke about certain things. . . but Since the neo incident Spamton noticed he had a little more wiggle room, so he supposed he was taking the lead on this one. 

“ I CAN. BUT IT’S A [ snails pace!]” Tenna glanced at Kris who gave a weak shrug.

“ Fine. Fine! Just… start with the Kris thing, what do you mean they’re not alone in there?” Tenna asked, moving to his vanity and falling into the chair. Spamton considered how he was going to answer that, “ Well?!”  Tenna demanded impatiently.

“ HOLD YOUR [horse feed! 3.99 a pound] I’M WORKING ON IT!” Spamton snapped, then turned to Kris, “ SHOW HIM YOUR [heartshaped object].” Spamton decided to start there. Kris hesitated, then presented it.

Like in the alley way of cyber city Spamton could see the strings trailing from it, to the child. 

Except now there were seven strings. Spamton decided not to let his panic show as Tenna looked at the soul in Kris’ hand.

“ Okay, what am I looking for here? It’s a soul, it’s your soul,” He added, pointing to Kris. 

“ [ *buzzer sound*] WRONG CATHODE.” Spamton gingerly touched the strings again, they pulsed with more energy than the last time Spamton got a good look at them. And what worse was the soul didn’t feel the need to retreat, “ THIS SOUL [ doesn’t belong to] THEM. IT’S [puppet master]- ING THEM.” Tenna frowned and furrowed his brows.

“ That… doesn’t make sense, how do you know?” He asked, Spamton nodded to Kris who pushed the soul back into them. 

“ BECAUSE I CAN SEE THE [silly strings] IF IT WERE [ light] N [ ER]’S IT WOULD ONLY HAVE ONE [ thread] BUT IT HAS [lucky number 7!!!].” Tenna looked alarmed.

“ Why can you see them? Why can’t I?” He asked. Spamton tilted his head back as far as it would go as he considered his answer, “ Does it have to do with what happened to you? Why you ran away?” Tenna asked, Spamton looked back at him, then nodded. The tv covered his mouth with his hand and stared off into space. 

Spamton wasn’t sure if Tenna believed the situation. 

“ That… so you mentioned it was your idea to let the soul answer the quiz…. Was that why it got all of the answers involving Kris wrong? Because it wasn’t them?” Tenna asked, Kris nodded, “ and how long has this been going on?” Kris seemed to think about it. 

Then he looked to Spamton.

“ WHY YOU [ here's looking at you kid.] YOU WERE ALREADY [ born this way!] WHEN I MET YOU.” Kris pointed at Spamton again, and made a talking gesture with their hand. Like a puppet, “ OH, HOW DO I [ ad blocker installed]?” Kris nodded, Spamton chuckled weakly, “ PROBOBLY WON’T WORK FOR YOU, [ results may vary] BUT. . . TRY. SPEAKING. IN SHORT. SENTENCES.” He demonstrated, “IT’S VERY. DRAINING. YOU NEED. A LOT. OF FORCE. SO DON’T. BEAT YOURSELF. UP IF. YOU CAN’T. GET IT. ON THE FIRST. TRY. “ Kris nodded, then after a pause he opened his mouth. Neither noticed the strange expression on Tenna’s face.

 A mix of horror, pity and confusion. 

“ about.” Kris started, sounding like they were pushing a heavy box or cart, “ three. Days. ”  Spamton’s jaw dropped.

“ THREE DAYS?!” He practically screeched, Kris jumped at the sound, “  YOU’RE ALREADY [ come so far!] AND IT’S ONLY BEEN THREE- BEEN THREE- BEEN THREE- BEEN THREE” Not this, not now. 

“ Is… he okay?” Tenna asked, pointing at Spamton. Kris watched Spamton for a moment longer, clearly anxious but likely because of the fact Spamton had let his own panic show rather than concern for the salesman. 

“ BEEN THREE- BEEN THREE- BEEN THREE-” Kris sighed and pointed to a pile of papers on Tenna’s vanity. 

“ Oh uh….sure?” He offered them to Kris who rolled them up, “ They’re just old scripts, what do you-” Kris then smacked Spamton hard across the back of the head. 

“ DAYS!” There was a beat, “ THANKS KID.” He rubbed his forehead. 

“ Three days I take it is… fast.” Tenna concluded, Spamton rubbed his head nodding, “ and it… takes complete control of you?” 

“ Sometimes.” Kris admitted, “ Sometimes it doesn’t care… like right now I guess, sometimes it cares so much I feel like I'm being pushed out,” Kris’s hand went to his hair.

“ How do you two … know each other… I know you said you went to cyber city but…” 

“ HE FOUND ME [ american pickers showing wednesday on the history channel] I SAW THE [ heartshaped object] AND THE [ silly strings] AND THE REST IS [went down in history!] Spamton explained, Kris stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“ He tried to help me but… my friends don’t know and they got in the way…” This was the first time they talked about the neo incident and Spamton heard the disappointment in Kris’ voice. 

It filled him with shame, he’d failed him.

I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t fast enough.

“Okay… so why clue me in?” Tenna asked, “ I can’t… see it, how am I supposed to  help?” Spamton turned to Kris.

“ KRIS. GO TO. THE DRESSING ROOM. SPEND YOUR POINTS. AT THE GIFT SHOP.” Spamton ordered, Kris hesitated, though given the annoyed look on their face it had to do with the soul making them stand there rather than their own actual hesitation. 

Then Kris left. 

“ YOU’RE. [stronger than you] ME.” Spamton admitted, Tenna blinked, “ I WASN’T [ oxy clean is strong enough to get the tough stains out!] “ Spamton grit his teeth in annoyance before attempting to speak again, “ I CAN’T. BEAT IT. BY MYSELF.” He forced out, “ I TRIED [and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter]” 

“ ….why are you helping Kris? You … what do you get out of it?” Tenna asked, “ they’re not your kid, I remember you used to refer to them as my brat. ” Spamton winced, and crossed his arms, not meeting Tenna’s gaze. 

“ I DON’T. WISH THIS. ON ANYONE.” he answered and Tenna grimaced, “ ESPECIALLY. NOT A . CHILD.”  He was getting really sick of putting all this effort into his conversations. 

“ Well I still don’t see how I can help, given that I can’t see what you're seeing…. How did you become a pair of glasses Kris has been wearing?” Tenna asked, then paused, “ actually …. That gives me an idea. . .”