Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

No one ever picked us

3:08 AM

HopelessOne added 21+ people to the chat

Adopted(obviously): aether wtf

Adopted(obviously): and at 3am too what is wrong with you

Diluc has left the chat

Xiao has left the chat

HopelessOne added Diluc and Xiao to the chat

Diluc has left the chat

HopelessOne added Diluc to the chat

Diluc: lumine should’ve eaten you in the womb

BetterOne: damn it i missed my chance

Adopted(obviously): okay so why is my name changed and not diluc’s

HopelessOne: he scares me

It’s a boy?: bestie please tell me that’s all of your contacts that you added right

It’s a boy?: cuz aint no way you know personally and actively talk to more than 40 people in your life

HopelessOne: what can i say everyone likes me

Rosaria: if by liking you you mean triggering all the anger in my being than sure

Diluc: if by liking you you mean making me want to gouge your eyes out then you’re the love of my life

Adopted(obviously): that’s why dad likes me better

Adopted(obviously): and also speak for yourself aether i got picked by my dad

Diluc: he regrets that every night

It’s a boy: okay but can we talk about how that mf got up at 3 to put like 40 people in a chat

BetterOne: who said he had to get up

BetterOne: he was jerking off all night and did this right after he cleaned his hand

HopelessOne: TF? THATS NOT TRUW???

It’s a boy: it’s okay bby bet i can get you to finish in less than 5 seconds

Rosaria: reading this gave me an aneurysm

Adopted(obviously): bro used “finish” while saying all that shit 

Adopted(obviously): if youre gonna be crude commit to it coward

BetterOne: bold of you to assume he doesn't already finish in less than 5 seconds

HopelessOne: GUYS THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS CHAT?!?!?!

Diluc: great you’ll get arrested for public undecency

HopelessOne: i didn’t even start it lumine you fucker

5:55 AM

KLEE!!**^^: HELLO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!! MY NAME IS KLEE

KLEE!!**^^: what were you guys talking about 😃

KLEE!!**^^: What does jerking off mean?

Albedo: Aether, you are so dead

Xiao has left the chat

Chapter Text

No one ever picked us

10:29 PM

Put the ass in Weassley: IMG_0997.jpg

Put the ass in Weassley: i gotta say fam @HopelessOne

Put the ass in Weassley: green hair does wonders for you

Gravedigger: LMAOIOOIOO THAT WAS AETHER?

Gravedigger: i skipped pass him like 5 times today and never realized

Can’t write for shit: the grass does look greener on the other side

Can’t write for shit: and aether you’re the one who can’t write to save your life you literally failed Eng. & Lit 1

Save me: i think he meant your calligraphy xingqiu

Can’t write for shit: chongyun… you made me cry

Can’t write for shit: how could you

Save me: oh no im so sorry xingqiu please don’t cry 

Save me: i can always write for you, how ever much you need

Save me: i’ll even be xiangling’s test subject for a week 

Can’t write for shit: you mean it?

Save me: yes

Can’t write for shit: aw you’re the best chongyun

Gravedigger: homos. disgusting

Experimentalist: how come it’s been 10 years and he still gets fooled everytime comon chongyun

Put the ass in Weassley: hutao you’re literally a lesbian and your gf is in the chat

Gravedigger: yeah you got a problem with that?

Gravedigger: ginger homophobe

Ace Attorney: he just can’t accept himself yet give him time babe

Ace Attorney: you are what you hate

Put the ass in Weassley: STOPPOP how am i being homophobic how did we even get to this

DoItAll: i might be wrong but isn’t it you are what you eat

DoItAll: oh i’m so sorry i might just have ruined the atmosphere!

Virgin Mary: no noelle you’re doing great!

RocknDrip: childe eating gays? what a nice image

Put the ass in Weassley: this is making me uncomfortable

Put the ass in Weassley: can we circle back to aether’s joker green hair

Birate: folks i guess today’s not the day ajax comes out of the closet

Ace Attorney: but now i’m actually curious what happened to aether’s hair

Sweet as honey: if i may be of assistance, albedo put green dye in aether’s shampoo before aether took his shower this morning

DaddyIssues: deserveddddddd

Virgin Mary: honestly that’s on him who even showers in the morning

Put the ass in Weassley: i do

babygirl06: ofc you do you ginger stench

babygirl06: aether i will give you a bob cut on top of your green hair if you don’t change my name back

Donate to charity(me): pfft all these insults yet you can’t even change your name yourself

babygirl06: you didn’t change yours fuckass

Donate to charity(me): i like the message

Put the ass in Weassley: fuck you scaramouche im sorry if i wanna look clean when i go to school

Put the ass in Weassley: and i smell ten times better than your sharpie stained ass

Purple head case: Didst thou thyself daub those false emblems upon thy flesh? For shame, such foolery

It’s a boy?: I had a stroke reading this

Not suitable for w-: not surprising considering you’re failing english class

Virgin Mary: aw cut him some slack

It’s a boy?: ily bestie

Virgin Mary: he has alcohol poisoning every two days and probably shows up to some classes drunk

It’s a boy?: UNTRUE AND UNPTOMPTED?1?!!!

Gravedigger: unptompted

Donate to charity(me): unptomted

Ace Attorney: unptamted

Put the ass in Weassley: unptanted

Can’t write for shit: unwanted

babygirl06: sounds about right if it’s venti

Handle with care: Hi I just climbed up from a manhole after falling in it! What are we doing?

It’s a boy?: kys and i hope it works

It’s a boy?: OH SHKT NO NOT YOU BENNETT MY PRECIOUS BABY 

It’s a boy?: i meant the people before you

Put the ass in Weassley: bennett are you alright?

Handle with care: Yeah! I just went to see nurse Sigewinne and she said I was lucky I only got a sprained ankle! Barbara was there too!

Ace Attorney: you poor poor boy

Tarzan: Razor come see you

Handle with care: Thanks razor!

DaddyIssues: wait venti what do you mean you’re failing english doesn’t that loud girl in junior year tutor you

DaddyIssues: whats her name again? turquoise hair, pigtails, thinks she’s teacher level

Save me: faruzan?

Experimentalist: you need tutoring from a junior? aren’t you like in senior year

Can’t write for shit: HAHSHSHAHHAK you get tutoring from someone a year below you??? 

It’s a boy?: WELL AT LEAST IM BETTER THAN AETHER

Birate: little girl, being better than aether is not smth to be proud of

RocknDrip: bar is in hell damn

It's a boy!: can't say you're any better than me if you can't even read that im a boy

Birate: well I got bigger balls than you could dream of

It's a boy!: clearly that didn't help you bag a gf yet

Birate: and YOU out of everyone are telling me that?

Birate: you’re so single you cry every time you see a couple kissing 

Failed her license: the girls are fightinggggggg

Ace Attorney: pulling on each other's pigtailllllllls

ImGonnaBeAStar: funnily enough venti has pigtails to pull on

On the verge of collapse: may I ask why all of you are texting here when you're supposed to be in class

Virgin Mary: no you may not

Not suitable for w-: . 

Virgin Mary: I'm sorry don't kill me

It's a boy!: virgin 🐣 twink 🧚 loses 🤧 to 2️⃣ a 🅱️ lesbian 👯‍♀️ not ❌ clickbait 🤑?!

Shenhe: I hope you die

Gravedigger: LMFAOIOO the only time she says anything it's to clap venti 

Can't write for shit: mood

Bathes in gold: all of you off your phones now

Bathes in gold: or you're all getting locked up in the janitor’s closet 

Bathes in gold: for the night

Birate: yes Ningguang whatever you say Ningguang

Bathes in gold: especially you beidou

Birate: what 😞 is ✊ love💔

It's a boy!: oh so when she does it she doesn't have to die

Donate to charity(me): she's a lesbian and that would be homophobic

It's a boy: fair enough

Virgin Mary: blud taking the L as if he doesn't suck dick

Put the ass in Weassley: I think just the fact that they're not venti is reason enough

Donate to charity(me): that too

It's a boy!: WHAT THATS NOT FAIR

Can't write for shit: I agree

It's a boy!: THANK YOU

Can't write for shit: add aether with venti and we're good

It's a boy!: DIE

It's a boy!: wait you know what I'm not complaining 

Bathes in gold: I have noticed that you people seem to still be on your phones during class

Bathes in gold: don't make me call yelan 

Gravedigger: ah poo 😞

12:34 PM

HopelessOne: WTF GUYS NOT FUNNY I GOT NAMEDROPPED LIKE 12 RIMES 

HopelessOne: and duck you xingqiu at least I dont talk shit on my phone in class

HopelessOne: duck*

HopelessOne: duck*

HopelessOne: FUCK*

BetterOne: such a fuckup u can’t even swear without fucking up

Failed her license: how's green hair treating you 

HopelessOne: a stupid bitch called me joker kinnie in front of the whole class

Failed her license: aw that must suck 

BetterOne: you were that stupid bitch amber

BetterOne: I was next to you

Failed her license: the betrayal???

HopelessOne: THAT WAS YOU?

HopelessOne: I'm fucking telling the whole school you failed your driving license thrice

Failed her license: STOPPP IM SENDING EULA ON YOU

Adopted(obviously): how does someone fail their driving test thrice 😭 

Failed her license: im dyslexic 

BetterOne: bitch you don't have to be able to READ a mfking red light

Adopted(obviously): wait how comes the twins get to be in the same class

Adopted(obviously): I tried to bribe the principal to put me with diluc and she still said no

Diluc: my bribe was higher

BetterOne: well aether's ill so he has to stick with me 

HopelessOne: I'm ill?

BetterOne: yeah mentally 

It’s a boy!: better question here

It’s a boy!: why would you want to be in the class as mister edgecore tryhard

Adopted(obviously): no reason

1000 grudges: albedo’s in diluc’s chem class

Adopted(obviously): THATS NOT WHY 

1000 grudges: obviously not

1000 grudges: that is also not why you walk diluc to his class everytime

Diluc: oh and here i thought you were being nice

Adopted(obviously): SYBAU EULA I DONT LIKE ALBEDO

Adopted(obviously): nonono diluc  i walk you to class cuz i wanna spend time with my favourite brother <3

Diluc: just kidding i never thought you were being nice and idc

Albedo: well that’s very unfortunate to hear from you kaeya

Adopted(obviously): WAITWAIT NO ALBEDO THAT NOT TRUE

Adopted(obviously): I INTERNALLY NUT EVERYTIME I SEE YOU BEAUTIFUL

Ace Attorney: wtf happened to i like you

Can’t write for shit: the whiplash lmfao im dying

Diluc: i will bleach my eyes

Virgin Mary: i absolutely did not want to know that

Albedo: neither did I

Albedo: but i do appreciate your passionate feelings towards me

Adopted(obviously): a-are you f-free to hang this weekend 👉👈

Albedo: only if you stop texting like that

Adopted(obviously): ANYTHING FOR YOU MY SWEET

Birate: wait so kaeya being a horndog worked for him?

Birate: life is so unfair

Experimentalist: who the fuck is racking up a coughing fit

Experimentalist: the coughs are so hollow it’s like they’re coughing up their lungs

RocknDrip: fr it’s been going on since the start of lunch

RocknDrip: I'm just tryna play my piano tiles in fucking peace bruh

DaddyIssues: smoker coughs 😞🥀

Gravedigger: @Needs an apple a day can't you learn to cough silently you chainsmoker 

Needs an apple a day: although my missing spleen has made me more prone to get sick 

Needs an apple a day: that doesn't mean every cough has to be mine you incel 

Needs an apple a day: and I don't smoke

Gravedigger: ah fuck now my excuse for taking qiqi is not valid

Can't write for shit: WTAF YOU ACTUALLY KIDNAPPED A CHILD

Save me: I do not associate myself with this person

Needs an apple a day: should i call Zhongli 

Gravedigger: nonono I'm so sorry i shall repent for my sins and bring qiqi back to the nurse’s office 

Ace Attorney: bae that was actually so pathetic

BetterOne: what did zhongli do to you 😭 

Gravedigger: he once managed to foot his 200$ bill on my credit card somehow 

Gravedigger: he would totally do it again

It's a boy: ZHONGLI DID THAT?

It's a boy: THE GUY WHO CANT EVEN OPERATE A SMARTPHONE 

Donate to charity(me): he needs to teach me his ways

Experimentalist: that's great and all 

Experimentalist: but that still doesn't solve the bomb like coughs 

babygirl06: that's childe’s stupid ass choking on his lunch

Flamemoth: he disgusts me

Birate: yet you still eat with him

Flamemoth: that is also beyond me

BetterOne: … okay

It's a boy: damn is he still choking? He's been at it for 10 minutes 💀 

Flamemoth: ugh fag

It's a boy: OK FUCK YOU TOO???

DID is not his only disorder: ngl the sight of childe choking is quite enjoyable 

Adopted(obviously): wtf you creep

Can’t write for shit: how is he even comfortable telling people

babygirl06: you are a despicable piece of shit

Experimentalist: guys wait are you seeing what im seeing

RocknDrip: I was just about to say that 

Gravedigger: girl don’t bait me tellllllllll

Failed her license: what in the pda is this soap opera

Adopted(obviously): could one of you please stop stalling and tell us

RocknDrip: basically childe has been choking for like 15 minutes gay

RocknDrip: and zhongli came to his table and did the anti choke hold or wtv

Ace Attorney: 😭 anti choke hold

Diluc: please… just

Diluc: it’s called heimlich maneuver you illiterate

RocknDrip: whatEVER

RocknDrip: and childe managed to spit out his piece of sausage

RocknDrip: and when he turned around to look at his saviour he actually literally swooned

RocknDrip: i never cringed so hard in my life

Experimentalist: girl imagine me i was two tables away

Experimentalist: i had to hear childe’s gross “you saved me~ let me suck your dick to repay you”

Experimentalist: and zhongli just kept him in his arms, while looking disgustingly in love

babygirl06: can’t be worse than me

babygirl06: i was right next to them and i need to bleach my eyes and ears

Flamemoth: i never thought ajax could be an even more pathetic wet sock than he was

It’s a boy: EHAT HOW DID I MISS THIS ENTIRE SHOW

Virgin Mary: the only time i buy lunch outside and drama happens 🥀

Adopted(obviously): please tell me one of you recorded it

Yelan: IMG_430.MOV

Yelan: with the slow pan to xiao’s beautifully horrified face in the end

BetterOne: my queen

Gravedigger: how can one be so cool

Put the ass in Weassley: FUCK YOU XIANGLING I DID NOT TELL ZHONGLI THAT ID SUCK HIS DICK

Birate: but you totally would

Put the ass in Weassley: that is none of your business

Can’t write for shit: chat is this the day ajax comes out of the closet

It’s a boy!: will he put an end to my 348 day streak of waiting for childe to come out

Put the ass in Weassley: you guys all suck

Virgin Mary: you suck and swallow

Virgin Mary: more specifically, zhongli’s

DaddyIssues: but you know what i find funny

Fairy: you find everything funny

DaddyIssues: ill take that as a compliment

DaddyIssues: i think about how childe had been nearly dying for 15 minutes and his friends didn’t bother to do anything

babygirl06: i was praying for his death since the day i met him

Flamemoth: quite honestly i agree with that bug for once

babygirl06: yeah? Well you have ten pounds of makeup and none of it fixes your ugly bitch face

Failed her license: why do they even sit together at lunch

Can’t write for shit: im still waiting for xiao to do his little gremlin rant about childe

Can’t write for shit: he would usually have so much to say

Save me: he left the group chat this morning

Ace Attorney: he did?????? And aether didn’t add him back?

Diluc: lucky bastard

Gravedigger: lmfao he got his 6 hours of peace

Save me: you guys didn’t notice?

Put the ass in Weassley: tbf we were too caught up with aether’s new hair

BetterOne: oops well all good things have to come to end sadly

BetterOne added Xiao to the chat

Xiao: and i thought i liked you better, lumine

Xiao: i was so wrong

Virgin Mary: guys hasn’t aether been unusually quiet

Adopted(obviously): true it’s actually scary when he’s not active

ImGonnaBeAStar: did you guys hear a loud noise on the second floor

ImGonnaBeAStar: i’m in the music room and i thought something exploded

KLEE!!**^^: THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION? KLEE WANTS TO SEE

On the verge of collapse: no klee you’re staying in the confinement room

KLEE!!**^^: NOOOO 😖

It’s a boy!: i was walking near the science wing and i thought i popped my eardrums

It’s a boy!: i still hear ringing inside my ear

Donate to charity(me): why am i using my data now?

Donate to charity(me): Im not wasting my data in a place thats supposed to give us wifi

Virgin Mary: how do you notice that before the lights that went out

Donate to charity(me) : i already have to pay a shitload for this boarding school the least they could do is give me free wifi instead of making me use my data that i also have to pay for

11 coffees a day: Everyone, sorry to interrupt. School will be out for the rest of the day, since a major accident in the chemistry lab caused a breakage in the electrical configuration. We shall keep you posted with new updates.

Gravedigger: wait what actually happened in the chem lab

Birate: yeah don’t gatekeep the story

School enthusiast: well someone we all know very well mixed several unknown substances together before putting it over a Bunsen burner

BetterOne: oh my lord… please don’t tell me

BetterOne: @HopelessOne what did you do you dumbfuck

HopelessOne: IMG_201.jpg

HopelessOne: on a scale of stabbing me 168 times to dipping me in acid, how do you think albedo will react

Chapter Text

No one ever picked us

11:00 PM

Adopted(obviously): once again i’d like to thank @HopelessOne for bombing the chem lab and giving us school off

Adopted(obviously): i finally get more days to procrastinate and to put off assignments i got a month ago

Put the ass in Weassley: a valiant sacrifice indeed

On the verge of collapse: Aether, the only reason why i haven’t reported you to the principal is because you did somehow get Albert to transfer schools

On the verge of collapse: had it been anyone else, they would’ve been immediately sent to jail

BetterOne: oh don’t worry aether is doing worse now than he would in jail

Virgin Mary: is he still in the chem lab with albedo?

Virgin Mary: they’ve been cooped in there since 1 in the afternoon

All that is holy: What? I told Aether that he should be strictly on bed rest for the next two days!

DaddyIssues: yeah well aether did destroy albedo’s entire potion collection he’s been concocting for two years

DaddyIssues: albedo is not letting him walk free anytime soon

All that is holy: Poor albedo! I think i almost saw tears in his eyes when he saw the picture

Adopted(obviously): i’d like to retract my previous statement

Adopted(obviously): aether you fucking bitch

Chickadee: aether told me to tell you “go to hell you dickface and to never speak again unless you have your hair dyed green”

Chickadee: his words not mine

Diluc: that arsonist’s got a lot of freedom of speech huh

Adopted(obviously): awwww diluc you do care about me 🥹

Diluc: how did you even draw this stupidly false conclusion 

Adopted(obviously): dad never loved you

Diluc: i will burn your entire half of the room

Virgin Mary: are you in the lab with them mika?

Chickadee: they told me to watch over the lab until a trusted adult came 

Chickadee: that was 9 hours ago

Chickadee: I've been there since

Put the ass in Weasley: so you're their chaperone

Chickadee: can someone please take my place I wanna go back to my room i need to do complete my assignments  

Chickadee: and albedo’s looking terrifying

Adopted(obviously): I'll gladly go!

Chickadee: anyone but kaeya please

Chickadee: I'd feel terrible if I left him to watch over

Adopted(obviously): eat your own shit you crossed eyed chick

Sweet as honey: I'll go replace you Mika! I was about to go help albedo anyway

Sweet as honey: and stop him from poisoning aether

babygirl06: no no don't stop him

Gravedigger: yeah i wanna see how far he’ll go

BetterOne: hopefully far enough

Rosaria: might as well make something good come out of this shitty day

Failed her license: everyone plz stfu I can't sleep with my 1000 notifs per second

Can't write for shit: allow me to introduce you to mute you stupid wretch

Failed her license: NO CUZ IDK FOR WHAT STUPID REASON AETHER AND HIS PEA SIZED BRAJN REMOVED THE MUTING FUNCTION FOR THIS CHAT

1000 grudges: everyone, actually stfu

Birate: or what bitch

Birate: try to beat me up and see

1000 grudges: i will contact my family’s lawyer who has won every case in their life and sue you for your life’s worth

1000 grudges: which sadly for me isn’t a lot

Virgin Mary: damn she went hard on you

Put the ass in Weassley: fuck i forgot she’s loaded

Can’t write for shit: ugh homos

Can’t write for shit: makes me wanna puke

babygirl06: you make me wanna puke with your ugly ass haircut

BetterOne: Xingqiu you got nothing to say 

BetterOne: you suck the most dick out of all the guys i’ve met

Can’t write for shit: didn't we agree that it was venti???!1

Rosaria: this conversation makes me wish i had a gun

Xiao has left the chat

Rosaria: real

Diluc: run soldier run

Lumine added Xiao to the chat

Xiao: Please lumine I beg of you

BetterOne: what’s in it for me

Xiao: I’ll get Xianyun to build that snowblaster for you

BetterOne: let me think

BetterOne: no thanks

Local mom: one would never waste time on building such useless and meaningless trinkets

Fairy: why the fuck would you need a snow blaster 

BetterOne: you collect ugly figurines you don't have anything to say

Xiao: not as ugly as you

BetterOne: now who's being a little sour puss

Gravedigger: guys are we just gonna ignore the fact that childe called eula loaded when his bank account has millions in it

Shenhe: Xianyun do you know a way to permanently leave this torture room the twins have us shackled in?

Gravedigger: well ok then

11 coffees a day: that is the most words i’ve seen her type in any message ever

Shenhe: don’t get used to it

Local mom: my dear shenhe, you mustn't confuse one’s abilities. One’s talents lie in the art of craftsmanship and innovation, not electronics and technology

Put the ass in Weassley: ouhhhh those are to big words for venti and aether to read

Virgin Mary: where even is venti btw

Gravedigger: aren't you supposed to know 

Gravedigger: he's literally your roommate 

Virgin Mary: so??? Im not his goddamn babysitter 

ImGonnaBeAStar: I haven't seen him since lunch

Failed her license: even venti knows to be offline but none of you do??

babygirl06: don't jinx it 

babygirl06: istg if he actually texts in here after you said that

1000 grudges: you dare to threaten my partner?

babygirl06: what you gonna do, cry to daddy?

RocknDrip: Kay let's not get too carried away

Donate to charity(me): guys it's been hours already how am I still using my own data

Virgin Mary: well if you haven't noticed, the power has gone off

Virgin Mary: courtesy of aether

Virgin Mary: what was that sound

Purple head case: Who dares disturb the Prinzessin der Verurteilung in her slumber?

Real head case(sad): Qiqi just woke up from her sleep and now Qiqi’s eardrums hurt a lot

Gravedigger: wtaf was that

Ace attorney: I cant even get some fucking peace in this fuck ass school at night

Put the ass in Weassley: what the fuck was what

RocknDrip: did you not hear the almost 2 mile radius explosion in the dorms

Put the ass in Weassley: ohhhhhh that

Put the ass in Weassley: no im not at school rn

Can’t write for shit: then where tf are you it’s like midnight now

Failed her license: oh so you’ve noticed

Radish saves lives: Qiqi, you can come to my room! We can share snacks!

Real head case(sad): Okay.

Real head case(sad): Who are you and what is your room again? Sorry, Qiqi forgot.

Radish saves lives: Don’t worry Qiqi! This is Yaoyao and my room is on the first floor!

Real head case(sad): Okay Qiqi is coming.

Gravedigger: is nobody wondering why the gay ginger ran out of the dorms in the middle of the night

Adopted(obviously): nah aether that’s a foul nickname you gave the kid

Gravedigger: ok then

Diluc: can he please get extra detention for this

Rosaria: better yet

Rosaria: can he please get expelled

School enthusiast: that is unfortunately an issue that is outside of our control

Bathes in gold: putting the insensitive nickname aside 

Bathes in gold: it has been brought to my attention that students would bring cooking devices inside their dorm rooms despite the clear politics prohibiting such matters 

Ace Attorney: oh so that’s what it was

DaddyIssues: i think we all know who it was

Save me: @Experimentalist xiangling don’t say anything without a lawyer

Can’t write for shit: aw it’s cute how much you care

Ace Attorney: xiangling you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you

Experimentalist: you guys aren’t helping my case

Experimentalist: and i wasn’t even cooking! I have no idea why my mini cooktop blew up

Xiao: are you guys hurt??

Xiao: i meant… is guoba okay, we’d hate to see him injured

BetterOne pinned Xiao’s comment. Tap to see pinned comments.

BetterOne: chat, this is a historical moment

BetterOne: Xiao is finally showing his true emotions

Adopted(obviously): aether is gonna lose his shit for missing this

Experimentalist: awwww xiao i knew you cared about us

ImGonnaBeAStar: under all that stone cold surface nestles a sweet heart

Local mom: One is mighty proud of seeing this development in your character, little one

Xiao: please shut the fuck up everyone

Failed her license: i agree

Bathes in gold: I usually do not quite understand what often goes on in your lobotomized brains but in case you haven’t noticed, the dorms are on fire. 

On the verge of collapse: Everyone, please evacuate the building. Keqing will be taking attendance in front of the main entrance. 

School enthusiast: I am? Fucking great

Not suitable for w-: just what i wanted

Not suitable for w-: having to wake up from my beauty sleep and attend a role call

Not suitable for w-: honey can’t you just mark me as present

On the verge of collapse: I will not do that and you know it, Lisa.

Virgin Mary: i don't think the point of evacuating the dorms is to just take our attendance bitch

Virgin Mary: the dorms’ on fire

Not suitable for w-: see if i care

babygirl06: istg xiangling if i catch you in my line of sight

babygirl06: ill rip out your intestines, tie them into knots, and sow them back in you

Purple head case: Twas quite a vivid picture of bloodthirst thou hast painted

Put the ass in Weassley: don’t do that. she has a pet bear, you’d get mauled

Flamemoth: please do that

Birate: how do they even sit together during lunch

Adopted(obviously): we’re taking attendance, but still no venti in sight

Adopted(obviously): did he pass out on the toilet bowl drunk again

Can’t write for shit: damn i forgot he was even missing

Give her wine: god i hate that drunkard so much!

Diluc: don’t we all

Give her wine: don’t talk to me you creepy alcohol dealer!

Adopted(obviously): that’s a new nickname

Diluc: ill punch in the face before you can even think of saying it

Bathes in gold:

Bathes in gold: Yelan

Yelan: No

Bathes in gold: well someone needs to go fetch that cretin

Broke hoarder: Do not fret, Miss Ningguang. I shall go seek him, I have a vague idea of where he might be.

Bathes in gold: Thank you greatly, Zhongli. Please feel free to ask for help if you ever need to carry him.

Zhongli: Not to worry, I can carry that drunkard by myself

Put the ass in Weassley: wow

Adopted(obviously): are you blushing

HopelessOne: oh what a great time to be venti

HopelessOne: daddy

Xiao: please refrain from calling him that

Can’t write for shit: yeah lmfao that’s his actual father

Xiao: my actual father’s dead. 

Xiao: so is my mom

11: 43 PM

Save me: um

Save me: i don’t know why no one is saying anything

Save me: but i hope you’re feeling better

Experimentalist: we were uh

Experimentalist: giving him a moment of silence

Xiao: Ridiculous, I wouldn't ever mourn their deaths

11:50 PM

11 coffees a day: Is there anyone who’s not present?

School enthusiast: yeah

11 coffees a day:...

11 coffees a day: And who might they be?

School enthusiast: don’t worry about it

11 coffees a day: Keqing.

School enthusiast: Ganyu.

Yelan: Yelan.

DoItAll: I’ve ensured that no one was left on the girl’s floors!

On the verge of collapse: Thank you, Noelle

Albedo: Has anyone seen Klee? I’ve been searching for her all this time

HopelessOne: i saw her

Albedo: and where is she?

HopelessOne: not telling, you meanie

BetterOne: are you fucking five 

BetterOne: btw i saw her with yoimiya, they were playing with her fireworks

Albedo: WHAT

Albedo: and you let her?

BetterOne: calm down walter

BetterOne: thoma’s watching them

Albedo: Thank god, i thought you were going to say Dahlia 

Virgin Mary: i took offense to that

Failed her license: you should

Gravedigger: ok but who’s the one missing

11 coffees a day: thank you for getting me back on track!

11 coffees a day: Keqing!

babygirl06: you didn’t forget to leave of that shit ass ginger right

School enthusiast: I wouldn't even care if he went missing, I’d mark him present regardless

Put the ass in Weassley: Fuck you?

DaddyIssues: then why don’t you mark the one missing as present too???

School enthusiast: oh that’s smart, i knew your dad was wrong for not loving you

DaddyIssues: don’t you have a fan account about that one guy who makes history and ancient relics videos

Daddyissues: what’s his name again

School enthusiast: STOPP STFU

Ace Attorney: oh my GOD CANT WE JUST GET THE ATTENDANCE OVER WITH AND GO TO SLEEP

Gravedigger: yikes

Gravedigger: what a crazy lady

Fairy: that’s literally ur gf

Gravedigger: my crazy lady*

Gravedigger: okay but we still dont have the answer to who’s missing

School enthusiast: zandik

babygirl06: oh

babygirl06: i hope he actually died in the fire

Flamemoth: maybe i should burn his room down just to make sure

Put the ass in Weassley: guys he might read this

Put the ass in Weassley: he’s scary when he’s mad

Flamemoth: wuss

DID is not his only disorder: so sorry to disappoint

DID is not his only disorder: i thought i sent my clone for attendance

babygirl06: fuck

Flamemoth: fuck

Birate: look who are finally agreeing with each other

HopelessOne: power of friendship

HopelessOne: all thanks to my wonderful chat

Rosaria: yet no one here wants to be your friend

HopelessOne: THATS NOT TRUE

HopelessOne: VENTI TELL HIM THATS NOT TRUE

HopelessOne: oh right he’s shitfaced

Virgin Mary: local 🌎 twink 🧚 bullied 🚽 for 4️⃣ not ❌ having 🥀 friends 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 not 🙅 clickbait 🤑

Shenhe: genuinely, i hope you rot in hell

Donate to charity(me): where are we gonna sleep? I dont want to sleep on the streets again

Failed her license: again??

Donate to charity(me): dont question it

Failed her license: then dont mention it you cheapass freak

HopelessOne: damn 😭 give that girl some sleep

DaddyIssues: no but really how long do we have to wait before we can go back inside

Chickadee: For safety measures, they will probably have us stay out of the dorms for a few days

babygirl06: xiangling when i find you xiangling

Experimentalist: guys i’m telling you i did not even touch my cooktop today 😭

1000 grudges: this is unacceptable, how are they going to find us proper housing

Donate to charity(me): girl stfu ure literally a nepo baby you can easily afford yourself a hotel room for like a year 

Failed her license: idc anymore imma go crash at a gas station

Can’t write for shit: yeah no don’t ever come near me again if you do that

Failed her license: what do you suggest then, bitch

Failed her license: unlike you, not everyone has daddy’s black card at their disposal

RocknDrip: guys you know what would be awesome

BetterOne: yeah, having a place to sleep

RocknDrip: i was getting to that

RocknDrip: but how about finding an abandoned warehouse and stay the night

Put the ass in Weassley: that’s a sick idea ngl

School enthusiast: you’re sick in the head

Put the ass in Weassley: again, fuck you?

Broke hoarder: although i do not find it nice to insult your fellow classmates even when a trifling situation arises, i do have to concede that sleeping in an abandoned warehouse is not a sound choice

Can’t write for shit: aww look who’s here to defend his bbg

Local mom: before anyone starts getting crazy ideas, since the school administration has yet to make an official statement, one suggests we wait patiently for their word

Not suitable for w-: if i were to wait on them, i’d turn to stone

Broke hoarder: that was quite an amusing joke

Not suitable for w-: i wasn’t being amusing

ImGonnaBeAStar: how about we all calm down, wait just a bit longer and see what the school’s gonna do

ImGonnaBeAStar: we all deserve some good rest after this eventful day

RocknDrip: guys you might not see yunjin right now but bitch is gripping her phone so tight to not stab anyone

ImGonnaBeAStar: i might stab you if i hear any more notifications from you

Rosaria: why do i hear snoring  is someone snoring

Rosaria: htf is someone even able to sleep outside rn

BetterOne: must be paimon

Pixie dust: Paimon does not snore this loudly!

Virgin Mary: no that’s venti

Virgin Mary: i hear that every damn night to know

Adopted(obviously): you a strong soldier son

Diluc: like your snores are better than venti’s

Adopted(obviously): oml would it kill you to just stfu

On the verge of collapse: “Announcement: For air safety measures, all students shall be relocated to a room at the Astral Campus until the fire department deems Teyvat campus safe for occupancy; To retrieve important belongings, students will need to check in with security guards at an allocated time period… Tap to see more.”

HopelessOne: golly im not reading allat

Birate: cuz you can’t read

Can’t write for shit: you know what

Can’t write for shit: a hotel room sounds nice atm

Donate to charity(me): go eat horse shit

Can’t write for shit: out of us two, you eat shit more than i do

Shenhe: @HopelessOne Get me out of this chat.

Shenhe: I have a spear and I’m not afraid of using it.

HopelessOne: ahaha you like me too much to kill me

11 coffees a day: Please do not try her.

BetterOne: please can everyone just STOP TEXTING here

BetterOne: just for this ONE crappy night

12: 30 AM

Gravedigger: ok but i still want to know where childe went in the middle of the fucking night