Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Danny flew invisibly into the bathroom in Phantom form, planning to change back. However, two people were already there—Dash and Kwan. Danny internally sighed; looks like he’d have to wait for them to leave.

Danny expected to have to endure one of their typical conversations about football or girls or something, but instead it took a surprising turn.

“Hey, um, Dash?” Kwan began. “There’s something I’ve been thinking about…”

Dash crossed his arms. “Well? What is it?”

“Fenton,” Kwan said, and Danny froze.

Dash raised an eyebrow. “Fenton?!” He scoffed. “What, you got a crush or something?”

“No, no, not that!” Kwan protested. “I mean he’s cute, you can’t deny that, but he’s also a loser.”

“True,” Dash said, to Danny’s total disbelief—like, what? He beat Danny up all the time! Why would he beat someone up that he thought was cute? Dash continued, “His frustrated expression when I beat him up is adorable.” Oh. That explained it, but again, what? Did Dash beat him up just to—ugh, no, Danny wasn’t going to think about that. Dash then asked, “So, what is it, then?”

Kwan looked around, as though checking no one was in any stalls, and quietly told Dash, as though he was saying something he didn’t believe, “I think he’s not human.”

Danny felt the ectoplasm drain from his face. Did Kwan, of all people, figure it out?!

Dash laughed. “What? Of course he is!”

“No, no, hear me out!” Kwan hurriedly said. “You have to have noticed things. Like, his skin is super cold when we beat him up!”

Dash scoffed. “That doesn’t mean anything. He just has low blood circulation or something.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s too cold for that,” Kwan argued. Which, true; Danny was honestly surprised so many people accepted the ‘low blood circulation’ excuse for that.

“How do you know? You ain’t a doctor.”

“Well, I guess it could be normal for that,” Kwan conceded, though seemed skeptical. “But what about not breathing? He doesn’t even try to fight when you try to choke him, he just stops.” True; it reduced the chances of bruising since his throat wasn’t moving. Danny hadn’t realized they’d noticed.

“He’s good at holding his breath,” Dash reasoned.

“Okay, but what about the fangs?” he asked, and Danny winced. Those had come in about a half year after he got his powers, after a ghost fight had knocked out a good portion of his teeth; they grew back overnight as expected, but for some reason his body decided his canines should be fangs. He’d thought those were unique to Vlad, but apparently it was an all-halfa thing.

“Those are an extreme body mod, everyone knows that,” Dash said.

“But I looked it up; you can’t do that until you’re 18, 16 with parental permission. He was 14 when they appeared.”

“So he faked his age to get them.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I dunno, he’s weird. Maybe he wanted to impress the goth chick.”

“Anyway, speaking of age, though,” Kwan continued, “I’m pretty sure he hasn’t aged. Not since middle school. Like, I compared some photos, and he’s identical. I don’t think his hair has even grown!”

Danny froze. He… hadn’t realized that. Did he… did he really not age? Vlad aged… unless Vlad just modified his body, since he definitely had the money to do that. Oh no. No, nope, immortality was not something Danny wanted.

Dash seemed to actually consider that. “You know, now that I think about it, you’re right. I’ve picked him up so much, and he hasn’t even changed in weight in at least three years,” he noted, and Danny was surprised that Dash could tell that. “Plus, he’s the only nerd our age that can still easily fit in the lockers…”

“Exactly!” Kwan said with excitement. “And he has that thermos he always carries around. Like, what’s in it?”

“Well it’s obvious, if he is what you’re thinking,” Dash said, which vaguely confused Danny, then his ectoplasm ran cold(er than normal). Did they know he was Phantom, and the thermos held ghosts?

“Right! I knew we were on the same page…” Kwan’s eyes then went wide. “Where do you think he gets it, though?”

Evidently not.

Now Danny was confused; if they thought it held ghosts, where he got them was obvious, so what did they think was actually in the thermos?

“Well, hopefully a bank,” Dash said; did he think money was in there?

“Or maybe he’s one of the ones that gets it from animals,” Kwan said, only further confusing Danny.

“Maybe. I can’t see him actually attacking humans for it, though,” Dash said. “He’s too weak.”

“Not if he’s hiding his strength,” Kwan pointed out.

“Shit. I hope not,” Dash said, looking harrowed, and Danny tried not to snicker; he was definitely hiding his strength when bullied—he had to protect his identity, after all.

“Well, Paulina and Star would probably know more, right?” Kwan said. “Let’s ask them at lunch!”

The two then left, and Danny changed back to human and shifted to the visible spectrum. What exactly were those two thinking? Danny stood there in confusion for a full minute before realizing that he had to get back to class.

At lunch, Danny invisibly snuck over to the table where Paulina, Star, Kwan, and Dash sat, on one of the outdoor picnic tables.

Paulina shivered. “Do you feel a chill?” she asked them, and Danny winced and took a step back. He often forgot that his ice powers could react to his emotions, and nervousness caused him to start radiating cold.

“Forget that,” Kwan said. “We have, like, really big news!”

“Maybe,” Dash said warily. “It’s not for sure yet, just things we’ve noticed, and we think you know more about the subject thanks to those novels you two read.”

“Oh?” Paulina asked, looking curious. “What’s this about, then?”

“Fenton,” Kwan revealed.

Paulina gasped. “You have a crush?”

“He is kinda cute,” Star mused.

“What? No!” Kwan argued. “Why do people keep suggesting that? This is something else.”

“Oooh. So then, you’ve figured it out, too?” Star said excitedly.

“Figured what out?” Dash asked.

“That he’s in a polycule with Sam and Tucker,” Star said confidently, and Danny resisted coughing at that. He most certainly was not! Where did she get that idea!? Ugh, now there’d be a rumor to dispel… Besides, now that Danny suspected he was immortal, how would that even work? If he was stuck looking 14 forever, well… Anything with a human would quickly get extremely awkward.

“No, not that, that’s obvious,” Dash said with a dismissive hand wave; oh, great, apparently it already was considered a fact, not a rumor.

“We’re talking about the fangs,” Kwan said in a whisper after looking around to make sure no one was listening.

“He’s had those for years,” Paulina pointed out.

“Yeah, it’s what makes him more adorable,” Star commented.

“True,” Paulina agreed, confusing Danny further. If the entire A-list apparently found him ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’, why was he still on their ‘loser list’?

“Yeah but there’s more signs!” Dash told the girls. “Listen…” He outlined all the things he and Kwan had discussed in the bathroom.

“Oooh. Yeah, I totally get what you’re saying,” Paulina said, and Danny tensed, ready for them to say it, to say aloud the obvious conclusion for them to come to: that he was a ghost.

Star nodded. “Yup. Totally a vampire.”

Or… not the obvious conclusion.

“Oh yeah. The lack of aging definitely cinches it,” Paulina said. “Everything else can be explained by other things, but not that.”

Well that was definitely false, given that ghosts, including apparently half-ghosts, didn’t age either. Which was. Yeah. Danny did not like that realization at all.

“Wait, I thought vampires die in sunlight or something?” Dash then pointed out. “And are nocturnal or whatever?”

“He does sleep in class a lot,” Kwan pointed out.

“And the sunlight making them into ash is just to throw people off,” Star informed them. “The ones in the book shine in sunlight.”

“Fenton doesn’t do that either,” Dash pointed out.

“No, but his eyes sometimes glow,” Star pointed out. “I bet that’s what happens, and the book just played it up to make it the full body for dramatic effect.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Dash said, even though no-it-definitely-didn’t. They lived in Amity Park! Ghosts would still be a much more logical conclusion than vampire! Although, Danny would prefer them not to reach the ghost conclusion.

“No, in the book the eyes change color based on if the vampire has eaten recently!” Paulina pointed out.

“Then, the author just combined the two things, or something,” Star reasoned. “His eyes do shift color when they glow, so maybe the glow means he’s hungry or something.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. Remember, the books are fiction,” Kwan pointed out. “Authors take creative liberties all the time—I think there’s enough that does line up.”

“Oh! One more thing that supports it: durability and strength,” Paulina said.

“Durability? But I beat him up all the time!” Dash protested.

“Yeah, but he’s always healed the next day,” Paulina pointed out. “That’s not normal. And he seems to have no issues at all lifting heavy things.”

“So he’s… letting me beat him up?” Dash realized with horror.

“Well, he’s gotta keep his cover somehow,” Paulina pointed out.

“So, we’re agreed—definitely vampire,” Kwan decided.

Star gave a wistful sigh. “The fangs already made him kinda hot, but this? Wow…”

Paulina nodded. “If it weren’t for his loser status, I would totally let him bite my neck.”

“Oh yeah, that would be so hot!” Star said, a dreamy look on her face. “Just imagine, those fangs sinking into the flesh there…” She sighed. “Really too bad he’s a loser.”

Okay, whoa, no, Danny was definitely not comfortable with the direction of this conversation.

Thankfully the conversation then somehow veered to the vampire romance novels the two girls were obsessed with, the second book of which had come out the previous summer, and which actors they wanted to portray the characters in the unannounced-yet-rumored film, so Danny returned to Sam and Tucker, mind blank, processing everything he’d learned.

Sam and Tucker jumped slightly when Danny suddenly appeared sitting between them, where they were seated behind a large tree a small distance from the school, their usual lunch spot in case they needed to talk about private things.

“Don’t do that!” Sam chided with a scowl.

“Seriously, you’re gonna give us heart attacks some day,” Tucker said, tone joking.

“Sorry,” Danny said sheepishly.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Sam asked with obvious worry.

“Yeah, do they know you’re a half-ghost? Or, I guess they’d assume full ghost?” Tucker asked, equally concerned.

“No, but they might have given me some sort of existential crisis,” Danny said neutrally, certain he was mildly dissociating.

“Existential crisis?” Sam asked.

Danny slowly nodded as he mentally shook his head to get the fuzziness out. “I may or may not have aged since my accident.”

“You’re immortal?!” Tucker said with a gasp.

Danny winced. “Maybe. I’ll ask Frostbite next time I visit. Anyway, that’s part of what led them to their final conclusion about what I am.”

“So they know you’re a ghost,” Tucker concluded.

“No. I’m a vampire,” Danny revealed.

Sam tried and failed to withhold laughter. “What?”

“A vampire,” Danny repeated. “Which, for the record, apparently makes me hot enough that both girls want me to bite them on the neck, except I’m a loser so they won’t pursue that. I’m not sure whether that’s a relief or insulting.”

“Those fangs are tiny though,” Tucker pointed out. “Are they even long enough to draw blood?”

“Yes,” Danny answered without thinking, then hurriedly added, “Don’t ask how I know that.”

“Uh, no, pretty sure we have to ask now,” Tucker said with slight worry.

“Yeah, who did you bite?” Sam wondered.

Danny winced, then sighed. “Okay, fine. Last year, I bit Dash. Accidentally, though! He missed and pressed his arm to my mouth instead of my throat, and they kinda just went in, and I clamped down? He was not happy and the beating got worse so I never tried that again.”

“Why do you keep letting him beat you up so badly?” Tucker asked. “I mean, some of what he does would seriously injure a human.”

“That’s why,” Danny said. “I heal fast, and am a lot more durable. Better me than the other nerds.”

“Well, maybe now that he thinks you’re a vampire, he’ll ease up,” Sam said.

Danny frowned. That did seem likely, actually. “But then he’ll attack others.”

“Then… threaten him,” Sam suggested.

“Even better: bite him again,” Tucker said. “Play up the vampire thing.”

“I feel like biting him again won’t end well,” Danny said. “Last thing I need is for him to show up with a wooden spike or something. That’ll be annoying to heal from.” Unless it was coated with anti-ecto material and hit his core at just the right angle, which would be an issue.

“If they’re basing it on the books, beheading is more likely,” Sam said, too casually for the words.

Danny shrugged. “I can survive that too.”

“I do not want to know how you’re so confident about that,” Tucker said with clear worry.

“As long as my core is intact, I can survive anything.”

“Dude, that makes you sound like a full ghost.”

Danny shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t really care what I am anymore,” he revealed. Didn’t want to think about it, either, since on some level he did care, but… “All that matters is that the anti-ecto acts would classify me as such, and I’m bound by Ghost Zone law too. If I legally am, why not embrace it?”

“Well, I suppose that’s hard to argue with,” Sam conceded, then looked contemplative. “You know, if they think vampires exist, do you think they think werewolves do too?”

“Hold up,” Tucker said with realization. “You’ve read the books? I thought they were too mainstream for you!”

Sam blushed and crossed her arms. “Well it wasn’t when it first came out,” she defended. “How was I supposed to know a vampire romance novel would blow up like that? Besides, I can’t just not continue the series now that I’ve started!”

“It’s okay, Sam,” Danny told her with a fanged shit-eating grin. “We support your vampire fetish.”

“It’s not a fetish!” Sam asserted with a blush.

“Suuuure it isn’t.”

“Oh like you’re one to talk, Mister I-Find-Ghosts-Hot.”

“Wait what?” Tucker asked, swerving to look at Danny.

“Oh like you both don’t think Ember’s hot too,” Danny quipped back.

Ember had been part of Sam’s lesbian awakening—a few weeks prior, Ember decided to try to throw Danny off his game during a fight by using her love spell on Sam, which completely backfired because instead of going after Danny like expected Sam had gone after Ember. And by ‘gone after’, Danny meant somehow the two ended up in an intense makeout session, which Danny had found himself strangely into before he remembered to capture Ember in the thermos.

After that, Sam took a hard look at her feelings and realized that being with Danny had been a matter of comphet, not truly love. Danny had been disappointed, but he understood, and their friendship thankfully hadn’t wavered.

Danny vaguely wondered if either Sam or Tucker realized yet that Danny’s fights with Ember, starting well before that one and including it, were play ones. Did they even realize that ghosts socialized by fighting? Obviously not all fights with ghosts were play ones (Skulker really did want to, well, you know), but many were. Danny wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell them though; it felt too ghostly to tell them that he felt a connection with certain ghosts like Ember when they fought, and it had actually led to him sometimes casually hanging out with Ember now (well… sometimes a little more than that, but he was definitely not telling his friends that).

Danny also wondered if he should be concerned that he had actually started seeking out the fights sometimes, because they made him feel alive—the adrenaline helped with what Danny was pretty sure was some sort of low-grade depression (or maybe Jazz’s psycho-babble was just rubbing off on him; regardless, when left to his own machinations, his own thoughts, he started to feel like he was sinking into an abyss, which he could recognize wasn’t normal).

“Wasn’t talking about Ember,” Sam said teasingly.

“Then what—oh, come on, that was literally a siren ghost!” Danny protested. “You know, the things that lure men in with their spell to drown them? Impossible to resist?”

“You totally can resist them,” Sam said smugly. “I did, didn’t I? You just didn’t want to. Tell me, what did you get up to in the water, hm? Once that ghost realized you can’t drown?”

“N-nothing!” Danny stuttered.

“Really? Because when you got out of the water, you definitely had—”

“Sam!” Danny yelled, blushing vigorously. “Nothing happened, seriously.”

“Wait, when the heck was there a siren ghost?!” Tucker demanded.

“A few weeks ago, when you went to that weekend computer conference,” Danny explained. “She had like half the town snared.”

“Yeah, she enchanted almost everyone attracted to her, then was tempting them to the water,” Sam explained. “But loverboy here eventually stopped her.”

“Exactly. I stopped her.”

“Barely.”

“Man, I really missed a siren ghost?” Tucker said wistfully.

“You would’ve drowned,” Sam said flatly.

“Yeah, but it would’ve been worth it,” Tucker said matter-of-factly.

The warning bell then rang.

“Oh thank fuck,” Danny said as he stood up, ready to be done with the conversation.

Chapter Text

Later that day, Danny was heading to his locker alone after detention when suddenly someone grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the janitor’s closet.

Acting instinctively, Danny swerved towards the person and shoved them against the wall, snarling with fangs bared and eyes glowing. He pushed his arm across their throat and prepared to punch them if necessary.

“Oooh, gonna bite me?” Star said teasingly, apparently not intimidated.

“What? No,” Danny said, immediately releasing her and stepping back, ashamed at his reaction. “Sorry, you surprised me,” he said, rubbing the back of his head in his embarrassment. “So, er, why did you… Um, Star?” Danny asked, taking a step back, as the girl approached him.

Being in a janitor’s closet, that step back had Danny pinned against the door, Star close enough to him to smell her strawberry shampoo. Danny realized that she was looking down at him; when did she get so much taller? The adrenaline and, to his embarrassment, very slight arousal, staved off the unjustified sadness that had started to come over him earlier that day.

“It doesn’t matter to me what you are,” Star whispered in his ear.

“Okay, too close!” Danny said, pushing her away, core pulsing in the same way a heartbeat might race.

Star pouted and crossed her arms. “Oh come on. Play along!” she protested.

“Play along…?” Danny asked, mildly confused.

“You’re supposed to ask ‘You don’t care if I’m a monster? If I’m not human?’!”

“Oh. Um. So, you don’t care that I’m not human?” Danny asked awkwardly, unsure how else to handle this bizarre situation.

Star sighed. “Not like that! Have you even read the book?”

“Um. No?”

“Oh my gosh. Fine. Here, then,” Star said with frustration, pulling a book out of her leather messenger bag (the cool kids’ newest trend). She handed the book to Danny. “Here, borrow my copy; you’re gonna read it by Friday and then we’ll do this again,” she asserted, angrily pulling the door open and stomping out of the closet, leaving a very confused Danny in her wake.

Danny stood there a moment, staring at the book in his hands, titled ‘Twilight’. “Friday, huh?” he muttered. It was Wednesday; could he really read a whole book, especially one this thick, in two days? Or, one and a half, if Star expected it read by the start of school.

Well… maybe he could if he skipped.

“She is so gonna try to kiss you,” Ember said, giggling as Danny lounged on the couch in her lair attempting to read the book; he’d headed straight there after the encounter with Star.

“She is not,” Danny said, rolling his eyes, then paused. “I actually think she just wants me to bite her.”

“Pretty sure the scene she was trying to act out includes a kiss, not a bite, Babypop,” Ember said matter-of-factly.

“Um, spoilers?” Danny said with an amused smile and eye roll. “Didn’t expect you to have read it though.”

Ember pushed Danny’s legs into a bent position instead of lying straight so she could sit on the couch too, then tossed Danny an ecto-cola before popping open her own can. “Hey, I’m a pop culture icon; I can’t be slacking on the popular teen romance books that might get a movie.”

“You’re a musician though?”

“Yeah but maybe someday I wanna be an actress, too. If you haven’t noticed, dipstick, getting attention’s my thing; being an actress and a musician? Totally would push me to idol status.”

“Don’t you need to do modeling for that too?”

“Um, yeah, which I have,” Ember said, in a tone indicating Danny was a little daft. “Pretty sure you’ve got my pin-up calendar in your room?”

Danny blushed and covered his face with the book. “It was a gag gift from Tucker!” he defended.

“Yet it’s still proudly displayed on your bedroom wall.”

“Well, whatever, just shut up and let me read,” Danny told her, popping open his own soda and turning back to the book.

“So you’re really gonna read it? Just for a girl?”

“No, I’m gonna read it because apparently the A-list thinks I’m a vampire of the type in this book, and I need to know what I’m getting into if I’m going to go along with it.”

“And you’re going along with it why?”

“Tucker wants me to.”

“And if Tucker jumped off a bridge, you’d follow?”

Danny gave her a deadpan look. “I can fly, and he can’t, so yes.”

“Bad example… So, just for the record, you’re staying here tonight and skipping school tomorrow, just to get this finished?” Ember clarified.

“Yup,” Danny told her. The book was a whopping 500 pages, and at Danny’s slightly-below-average reading speed it would take him at least 12 hours to finish that much, unless Ember distracted him more which she was likely to do. “And before you ask, no, pretty sure my parents won’t notice.”

“Your friends will though. And your sister.”

“Jazz is in college now, living in dorms; she’s only home on weekends,” Danny informed Ember. Specifically, she drove the two hours home every Thursday evening and returned Sunday night, having managed to squeeze all her classes into 4 days. She claimed she returned just to see the family and do laundry, but Danny had a feeling she wanted to keep an eye on him specifically. This Thursday, however, she was attending some event on campus, so wouldn’t be driving home until Friday morning. Danny continued, “Sam and Tucker I’ll text in the morning, tell them I don’t feel well or something.”

“Ah. Because for some reason, you still want our friendship secret,” Ember noted.

“I told you, they’re not ready for me having ghost friends,” Danny told her a little testily. “They’re barely okay with me being mentored by Clockwork and Frostbite; like, yeah, they say it’s fine and agree it’s a good thing for me to know more ghost stuff, but I can tell it bothers them. It bothers them when I do or mention super ghostly stuff, too. I can’t be too much ghost around them.” He took a sip of his soda, then held it up. “I can’t even drink this around them without them making faces of disgust! I don’t gag when Sam eats her weird tofu things, or when Tuck eats those globs of meat slop from the cafeteria that for some reason he actually likes. But suddenly me eating ectoplasm-enriched things is an issue?” Danny then realized he’d started to rant, and sighed. “Sorry, don’t mean to complain so much.”

Ember chuckled. “Nah, nothing wrong with a little angsty ranting. It’s good to let things out!”

Danny sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“And, hey, for the record: I don’t mind you being super ghostly,” she said, giving a pat to Danny’s knee.

“Yeah, you’re a ghost.”

“So are you,” Ember quipped back.

“Half-ghost,” Danny reminded her.

“Nah, more like, 80%, maybe 90%.”

“Stop saying that!”

“Stop denying that.”

“Ugh, just shut up and let me read,” Danny said with a groan, turning back to the book. He was half-ghost, even if no one else seemed to believe it and all the evidence pointed to it definitely being closer to what Ember claimed. Yes, he had joked with his friends about it being more and claimed he didn’t care, but… well, he kinda did care.

Ember did let Danny read after that; in fact, she apparently had her own copy of the book, and decided to read it too. To his slight embarrassment, Danny found himself actually enjoying the book quite a bit, and eventually he reached the scene Star had been trying to act out.

“Ember,” Danny said when he finished the scene.

“Yes, Babypop?” Ember purred. Somehow, the two had ended up cuddled together, Danny still laying on the couch but Ember laying with her back to hum, between his legs and head on his stomach; Danny held his book on her shoulder (avoiding the fire hair) and she read with her arms straight up in the air holding it above her head.

“...There’s no kiss in this scene.”

“Yeah… Guess I misremembered,” Ember said sheepishly, leafing through her copy. “Oh! Found it; first kiss is after the running scene, page 282.”

Danny looked at his copy; he was on page 184. “How do you mess up that badly? That’s, like, 102 pages different!”

“98, dipstick.”

“What?”

“282 minus 184 is 98, not 102.”

“...Well, you know I’m failing math,” Danny said, mildly irritated, although also relieved that Star was simply expecting a reveal, and not a kiss. Then, he yawned.

“Oh, right, halfas need sleep,” Ember recalled, moving the book to the skin on her stomach; Danny suddenly became very aware that Ember’s outfit barely covered her boobs and her pants hung very low on her hips.

Ember grinned, easily catching onto Danny’s thoughts. She tossed her book to the ground and flipped around, adjusting herself so she was chest-to-chest with Danny and her arms were around his neck; his book fell to the floor as well.

“Ember?” Danny asked, as he wrapped his hands around the bare skin of her back, well aware of what she was up to.

“I wanna have some fun before you sleep,” Ember told Danny, giving him a fanged grin.

Danny considered that; he’d gotten further through the book than expected. “No strings attached, as usual?” he confirmed.

“You know it. Still nothing beyond second base though, right?”

“Yup,” Danny confirmed. He didn’t mind being makeout-friends-with-benefits with the girl, but definitely wasn’t ready for going that much further with a ghost, or even to have a ghost girlfriend. “But anything else you want, I’m game for.” He always was; doing this stuff, in addition to fighting, was one of the few ways Danny could actually feel much these days.

“Ooh, you sure know how to make a girl excited,” Ember purred in Danny’s ear, then arched slightly to be face-to-face with him, grinning again. “Now, shut up and kiss me!”

Danny happily obliged Ember’s command.

Chapter Text

Star pulled Danny into the janitor’s closet first thing Friday morning, as expected. Danny simply sighed and reached into his backpack, giving her back the book.

“You read it, right?” Star asked sharply.

“Ancients! Yes, Star, I read it!”

“Okay, good.” Star moved to corner Danny again.

“Do you have to stand so close?” Danny asked, mildly uncomfortable. “And, do you really have to do this to begin with? Seriously, it’s a little creepy…”

“Here.” Star shoved something into Danny’s hand. “Consider that a down payment.”

Danny looked at the twenty-dollar bill in his hand.

“It doesn’t matter to me what you are,” Star whispered in Danny’s ear, just like last time. Apparently she’d just assumed the payment would be enough to get him to agree… Which, yes, it was.

Danny sighed. “Okay, first, some ground rules, okay? If we’re doing this, do you want, like, the dialogue to match exactly, or are my own answers okay? Because I do not have that memorized.”

“Your own are fine.”

“In that case, do you want me to tell the truth, or to follow the vampire role play?”

“Doesn't matter because the answers are basically the same either way, although the part about mechanics is probably different. Now, let's start over.”

Danny groaned. “Fine.” He’d play along, he supposed—not the truth, the fantasy. If there were rumors he was a vampire, then people won’t figure out he’s a ghost, after all.

“No wait, actually, it needs to be in a car.” She grabbed Danny's wrist and tugged him out of the closet and through the halls.

“We have class, and I don't have a car,” Danny pointed out.

“Don't worry, I have one. A Volvo, just like in the book!”

“Oh, great… Fine, whatever. I'm doing this ONCE though, okay? Just to get you off my back about this.”

“Yeah, yeah, so you say.”

“Star, look. I have no interest in dating any humans, okay?” Danny said as they exited the school, getting that out of the way first. She was hot, and Danny couldn’t deny that he might be mildly interested, but if he really were immortal, he did not want the heartbreak of watching a partner grow old and die while he still looked like he was a teen.

Star grinned. “Oooh, ‘humans’. That’s hot.”

“I’m serious, Star.”

“I know. Who says we have to date to roleplay?”

“Star, if you’re expecting me to do things like bite you…”

“We’ll go where the story takes us,” Star said ambiguously, shoving Danny into the driver seat of the car before she climbed into the passenger seat. “For now, let’s just do the reveal scene!” Star looked so excited and happy that Danny decided why not; playing around could be fun, even though he barely knew the girl. They were already in the car, after all.

Star took a deep breath and looked at Danny with determination. “Okay, here we go, again. It doesn’t matter to me what you are.”

“Even if I’m a monster? Not human?” Danny quoted—or, by Star’s reaction, misquoted.

Star frowned, then reached into her bag and gave Danny her copy of the book again. “Read, if you need to—it’s page 184—and modify answers slightly if they’re different, but otherwise do it like the book! And put feeling into it!”

Danny sighed. “Fine.” He found page 184.

“Okay.” Star took a deep breath, then leaned towards Danny and said, “It doesn’t matter to me what you are.”

“You don’t care if I’m a monster? If I’m not human?” Danny asked, trying to sound as serious as the character.

“No, no, darker!” Star complained. “Try again. It doesn’t matter to me what you are.”

Like the book character, Danny put a slightly mocking dark tone to his voice. “You don’t care if I’m a monster? If I’m not human?”

“No,” Star said—the line, Danny assumed, not saying it was wrong; Danny did what the book said and stared intensely straight ahead, attempting to look ‘bleak and cold’. His efforts made the temperature drop a little; oops. Star continued, “You’re angry.” She sighed. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No,” Danny said, trying not to laugh while he tried to maintain a hard stony expression. “I’d rather know what you’re thinking—even if what you’re thinking is insane.”

“So I’m wrong again?”

Danny said through gritted teeth, “That’s not what I was referring—”

Star cut him off. “Wait, hold it, what’s with the weird hissing sound?”

Danny blushed in embarrassment. “Blame the author! Fangs don’t work well with gritting teeth.” In fact, when they first came in, Danny had had a small lisp in general before he got used to talking with them.

“Ugh, fine. Skip doing that then. Okay, starting from—”

“Please not the top,” Danny pleaded.

“Fine. Okay…” Star began reciting the book again. “You’re angry,” she sighed. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No,” Danny said. “I’d rather know what you’re thinking—even if what you’re thinking is insane.”

“So I’m wrong again?”

“That’s not what I was referring to. ‘It doesn’t matter’!”

Star gasped. “I’m right?”

“Does it matter?”

“Not really. But I am curious.”

Danny tried to look resigned like it said the character was, which was pretty easy at the moment, considering he pretty much had been feeling that way this entire time. “What are you curious about?”

“How old are you?” Star asked.

Danny opened his mouth to answer, then paused. “I don’t know,” he realized.

“What?” Star asked, confused.

Danny shifted awkwardly. “Okay, so I know the character says 17—”

“So if it’s different, say that. You’re supposedly 16 now, right?” Star then looked contemplative. “Or, you were saying 14 when we started high school…”

“I was born in July 1990,” Danny revealed. “Actually, seriously born then.” He shifted slightly, deciding to reveal, “I’ve only been… like this… a little over two years, not over a hundred like the character…” Star already knew he wasn’t human, and Danny had a feeling that there was no way he could convince her otherwise, even if she’d drawn the wrong conclusion.

“Oh,” Star said, eyes wide. “You’re… new?” Apparently, that possibility had not occurred to her. She shook her head, as if to get back into the right headspace. “Okay, well, we can work with that. So, 14,” she concluded; Danny still wasn’t sure about that (and really was still hoping halfas did age), but he’d play along he supposed. “Now, back to the book… How old are you?”

“14.”

“And how long have you been 14?”

“...Two years?”

Star grumbled. “No, no, be vague!”

“Oh, sorry. Um… Longer than most?”

“Ugh. I guess that works. Okay, next… Oh, the questions! Answer these truthfully, okay? Not like the book unless it really is the same, got it?”

“Sure thing,” Danny agreed.

Star continued with the book dialogue, “Don’t laugh—but how can you come out during the daytime?”

Danny laughed, as the book character did. “Myth.”

“Burned by the sun?”

“Myth.”

“Sleeping in coffins?”

“Myth.” Danny paused. “Next few lines are irrelevant,” he said. The character didn’t sleep, but Danny definitely did. Star surely knew that too, given he often did so in class. He looked down and said the character’s next line, in a hard voice like the book said, “You haven’t asked me the most important question yet.”

Star quoted, “Which one is that?”

“You aren’t concerned about my diet?” Danny asked, trying for the sarcasm the character had.

“Oh. That.”

“Yes, that. Don’t you want to know if I drink blood?”

“Well…” This time, Star paused. “I’m skipping the stuff about the discussion with the tribe,” she announced, then continued a little further down the page, “So was he right? About not hunting people?”

“No,” Danny declared, adding a growling edge to his voice as he gave Star a fanged grin with glowing eyes.

Star jerked back, eyes wide.

Danny laughed. “Joking, joking!” He told her. “Sorry, the opportunity was too good to pass up.”

“Oh. Oh, okay,” Star said, hand on her chest; Danny could hear her heart racing as she caught her breath; for some reason it felt mildly tantalizing. “I, ah, didn’t expect that…”

Danny shrugged. “Look, I’m not like the book character, okay? I like to joke around and play pranks.”

“Right,” Star said, now looking a little embarrassed. “Okay, so… You don’t hunt people? You hunt animals?” She sounded curious, and Danny had a feeling the roleplay was done.

Danny sighed as he closed the book. “I don’t hunt either.”

“So, blood banks?”

“No…”

“Then, what…?”

Danny sighed again as he draped himself over the steering wheel in tired exasperation. He felt bad about leading Star on so much; she truly thought he was a vampire. It would be funny to keep that going, but… Something just felt wrong about that. He didn’t want to keep lying; if it were to Dash or someone else that really messed with Danny, then he might be willing to, but despite who she tended to hang out with Star herself hadn’t really ever done much to him. So, “Ectoplasm,” Danny said, making a decision. “I eat ectoplasm.” He glanced towards Star to gauge her reaction.

“Ectoplasm?” Star asked, slightly confused. “But why would you eat ectoplasm if you’re a vampire?”

Danny turned his head forward again, closed his eyes, and told her, “Because I’m not a vampire.”

“You’re not? But… you’re obviously not human. You have fangs, and you’re not breathing right now, and your skin is cold, and…” Star trailed off, apparently not getting it.

Danny turned to look at Star, making his eyes glow. “Star. Come on. We live in Amity Park, the most haunted town in America. I know you’re not this obtuse.”

Star blinked, then blushed. “Oh. You’re… you’re a ghost,” she concluded.

“Yeah,” Danny said, looking out the window. He wasn’t going to explain the halfa stuff; he still wanted Phantom to remain secret, after all. Besides, legally he was no different than a full ghost, by both human and ghost law.

“That… should have been more obvious than vampire in retrospect,” Star said, sounding embarrassed. “So how—wait no, sorry, you don’t need to answer that,” Star said, waving her arms a little frantically. “Sorry, sorry, I know we’re not supposed to—”

Danny laughed, sitting up and turning towards her again. “Star, it’s okay; my parents’ theories on ghost psychology aren't that accurate. I don’t mind talking about it, and definitely won’t hurt you for asking.”

“Oh,” Star said, calming down. “So, then, how did you die?”

Danny thought about how to phrase things. “Lesson in lab safety: make sure the not-yet-working portal into another dimension is unplugged before taking a look inside it.”

Star frowned. “Make sure…” Her eyes widened. “Oh. It turned on with you inside it?”

“Yeah,” Danny confirmed; it kinda felt good to actually talk to someone about this, even if he still had to skew things. “The portal used a lot of electricity and ectoplasm to activate—I was dead almost immediately.” It had taken Danny a while to admit that he’d actually died in the portal, even if he’d impossibly been revived to become halfpartially-alive again (Ember was right, Danny had to stop saying it was only half). He wouldn’t mention the second part though. Instead he said, “And before you ask, no, there’s no body. I don’t know what exactly happened, but I think somehow the portal fused my ghost and cadaver together? Like, usually a ghost forms after the soul leaves the body, but because so much ectoplasm immediately hit it the ghost formed before it could leave, hence the fusion. I know, it sounds like some gross Frankenstein creation.” It was close enough to the truth, possibly even the actual truth; no one truly knew the exact science behind halfa creation. All he knew was that, “So, because of what happened, I’m basically like a special type of ghost that still has some human traits. Like, I don’t glow like other ghosts, and my skin is still human-looking and whatnot.” That explained it well enough without her suspecting he had multiple forms. “Plus, unlike normal ghosts, I still need to eat human food and sleep, even though I need ectoplasm as well.”

“That’s actually really fascinating,” Star said with clear awe. “Ohmygosh, you’re like… an endangered species! This is so much cooler than a vampire! And now I don’t have to worry about turning into a vampire when you bite me.”

“When I what?” Danny said blankly.

Star handed Danny a fifty-dollar bill.

Danny looked at it, but didn’t accept, rather wary at what Star clearly was asking him to do at that moment.

Star brought out two more fifty-dollar bills.

“You’re… going to pay me 150 dollars to bite you?” Danny asked, mildly confused.

“Yes. You might ultimately be a ghost, but you’re close enough to a vampire. So you’re going to bite me, so I can brag to the A-list about it.”

“So you can… I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me. You’re gonna keep pretending to be a vampire. You’ll bite me tonight, Paulina will be jealous that I got bitten first, and then I can say I finally beat her to something.”

“Star, you can’t bribe me to bite you.”

Star took out two more fifties.

Danny sighed. That was a lot of money, and there was a new gaming console coming out soon… “Okay,” he decided. “Just one bite.” Then, he realized something. “Um. I don’t care about the vampire rumors, but you know me being a ghost is a secret, right? Like, of the highest degree. You can’t tell anyone, not even my parents! Only Sam, Tucker, and my sister know.”

“Don’t worry; I won’t tell,” Star promised. “Like I said, I want to beat Paulina—she’s already kissed a ghost, so she needs to keep thinking you’re a vampire, so I can be the first to kiss one.”

“Wait, kiss?!”

“And bite.”

“Um, you didn’t say anything about kiss—”

Two more fifty-dollar bills came out.

“Okay, fine, kiss, too,” Danny agreed. “But that’s it! A kiss and a bite. A small bite, on the arm.”

Star frowned. “No, we’ve gotta sell it. Neck, and make sure it draws blood.”

“Star, I—”

Star handed Danny three more fifties, bringing the total to five-hundred dollars.

Danny sighed and shoved the money in his pocket. “Okay, fine. But I am not drinking the blood! Seriously—no, Star, put that money away!”

Star sighed. “Fine.” She looked contemplative. “What about—”

“Kiss and bite, that’s it!” Danny insisted; he really did not want to know what else Star was thinking.

“Okay, okay!” Star scooched towards Danny a bit more. “Kiss me—and good—and then slide your lips to my neck and bite. Got it?”

“What’s ‘good’ entail?” Danny asked, eyes wandering across her body and then to her supple neck, then back to her face when he realized.

Star gave Danny a flat look. “You have kissed a girl before, right?”

“Of course! I’m just asking for clarification, so you enjoy it.”

“Oh,” Star said, looking pleased. “Well, by good I mean not just a peck; I want a real kiss. With tongue and stuff.”

“You want tongue too?” Danny asked, blushing a little and glad he didn't need to breathe because otherwise he might have trouble taking in air at the moment.

“Yeah. Make it worth five hundred dollars.” Star shrugged off her cardigan, revealing that her top was a spaghetti-strap one; she adjusted the straps so they were on her upper arms, giving Danny plenty of access to her shoulders.

“Right,” Danny said, core pulsing like a heartbeat. He lifted his hands, then realized he wasn’t sure where to put them; Ember liked them on the hips or butt, but Danny didn’t know if Star would want that too.

Star sighed, then grabbed his hands. She moved one to her hip, shoving it under the shirt so Danny was touching bare skin, and the other to her bare shoulder on the opposite side. “There. Then after kissing, you can tug my hair to tilt my head enough to bite. And don’t be afraid to get creative!”

“...Creative?”

“Yeah, just, do what you’re feeling. I don’t care what it is, really, as long as I get that kiss and bite. Have sex with me if you want, I really am game for anything…” Star said with lidded eyes.

“Not sure if you’re serious or not, but I’m definitely not having sex for money,” Danny told her firmly.

“I was only half-joking,” Star said with a wink. “Now, kiss me, you sexy vampire,” she said breathlessly, staring into Danny’s eyes.

Danny leaned forward, pressing his slightly-parted lips to her similar slightly-parted ones. He flicked his tongue out against her lips, already demanding entrance; Star moaned and obliged as Danny’s grip on her waist tightened and he tugged on her shoulder to pull her closer.

The two made out for a little longer than Danny intended before he remembered the next step, core fluttering with anticipation and, to his surprise, desire. While maintaining the kiss, Danny reached up and grabbed Star’s hair, and she gasped into his mouth, arching a little to make sure her neck was bared. Danny trailed his tongue from Star’s mouth to behind her ear and then slowly down to where her neck met the shoulder.

Danny clutched Star’s hip tighter and wrapped his hand in her hair to hold her still. He opened his mouth wide, sliding his fangs tantalizingly against her skin as he did so, and then clamped down. Star gasped in ecstasy and then moaned, clearly enjoying it as Danny bit down even harder, the blood dripping into his mouth.

Danny moaned too as the taste of blood entered his mouth; it was delicious.

“Drink it, please,” Star whispered breathlessly.

Danny found himself obliging the request, not even needing payment. He withdrew his fangs, the blood bubbling up against his lips, and then sucked, feeling it in his mouth before he swallowed, using his tongue to lick up what he could; it wasn’t flowing that much, given the fang holes were actually fairly small, but still plenty enough to taste, as though he were sucking on a honey stick.

Danny’s core pulsed in contentment as a little more blood dribbled into Danny’s mouth and he licked it away again, eyes closed and lost in a slight haze; then, suddenly, there was a sharp knock on the window. Danny opened his eyes…

Danny jumped back away from Star, eyes wide and core pulsing in slight panic this time. Shit, shit, shit.

Star let out a little whine. “Why did you stop?” she complained.

Danny simply pointed to the passenger side window, and Star turned around, then winced. She rolled the window down. “Mr. Lancer! Hi!” she said chipperly, yet clearly nervous too. “What brings you here?”

Chapter Text

Mr. Lancer stared at the two teens, eyes wide and mouth slightly opened as he glanced between the two… no, between Star’s neck, clearly bloody, and Danny’s mouth.

Danny slowly licked his lips to get the blood off them, then wiped his chin with his hand, feeling there might be some blood there too. “This, er, isn’t what it looks like?” Danny tried.

Lancer collected himself and crossed his arms. “Then please, Mr. Fenton, enlighten me, because it appears as though you were…” Lancer swallowed, looking a little sick, “were dr-drinking your classmate’s blood.”

“Well… Okay, maybe it is,” Danny sheepishly admitted. “But Star paid me to!”

“I did,” Star agreed, nodding her head. “I have a vampire fantasy.”

Lancer took a moment to process that. “That hardly makes it better...”

“Well, it was a lot of money…” Danny said, feeling very ashamed, not just at being caught or even what he’d done, but at how he’d felt about it. He was a ghost, not a vampire! He wasn’t supposed to like drinking human blood! …Was he?

Lancer sighed. “I don’t get paid enough for this,” he muttered. “Okay. Well, firstly, get out of the car; we’ll talk more on the way to the nurse.”

“The nurse?” Both teens asked simultaneously, Star entirely confused and Danny a mix of confusion and dread—going to the nurse could reveal him!

“Yes, the nurse—Star, you are still bleeding from your neck. Danny, we need to test your teeth for bacteria that could infect her, since I sincerely doubt the two of you took any precautions on that front.”

“Um. You, er, don’t have to worry about that,” Danny muttered. “My teeth are, er, naturally disinfected…” Ectoplasm was the culprit for that; it acted much like bleach in that regard. His saliva didn’t have enough to cause health issues if he bit a human, but it did have enough to destroy any bacteria or viruses or whatnot—he’d tested it after the Dash incident.

“Yeah, he’s a vampire,” Star said matter-of-factly, and Danny winced.

“A vampire, huh?” Lancer said, raising an eyebrow. “Well, humor me, then.”

The two got out of the car and followed Lancer back to the school. Danny tried thinking of a way he could get out of this, but really couldn’t think of any. On the way, Lancer used a small radio to call in to let the nurse know they were on their way.

Except, instead of the nurse waiting in the nurse’s office, Principal Ishiyama was there.

Noting the two students’ confusion, Ishiyama told them, “The nurse was arrested last night; turns out the government looks down upon creating fake passports so ghosts can pass as human. I was an RN before I switched to education administration, so I will be performing the role of nurse until we find a new one. What happened?”

When both Danny and Star looked away and refused to answer, Lancer sighed and said, “Apparently, instead of simple hookups in cars, teens now carry out vampire fantasies.”

“Vampire… fantasies…?” Ishiyama said slowly, clearly confused and a little wary.

“Yup.” Lancer gestured to Star’s neck. “I caught Mr. Fenton drinking blood from Miss Thunder’s neck. Honestly, I am not quite sure how to approach this.”

“It was fully consensual,” Star immediately told Ishiyama. “I paid him, I didn’t force him.”

Ishiyama took a moment to process that. “You… paid him… to drink your blood?”

Star nodded quickly. “Five-hundred bucks!”

“Yeah… It was hard to say no to that much money,” Danny said sheepishly. “But, um, don’t worry, it was all… What’s the phrase again… Safe, sane, and consensual?”

Lancer looked incredulously at Danny. “It may have been consensual, apparently, but that hardly seems safe or sane.”

Danny considered that. “Well, it was safe,” he amended. “Maybe sane is debatable, but we were both perfectly lucid when we decided to do it.”

“We need to address that wound,” Ishiyama then said; she had already taken out an alcohol wipe. She approached Star…

“Wait, no!” Danny shouted a moment too late, realizing that the school used special anti-ecto wipes; they’d disinfect ecto-burns with just a small sting, but if it directly touched that much saliva—

Star screamed and jumped back, putting her hand on her shoulder. Lancer and Ishiyama looked surprised, then turned to the boy who shouted. Ishiyama looked down at the wipe in her hand; a small hole had burned through it.

“Uh. So, those anti-ecto wipes kinda react to my saliva… Try plain water first,” Danny told them sheepishly.

“Why do anti-ecto wipes react with your saliva?” Lancer asked with suspicion as Ishiyama proceeded to follow that recommendation.

“Ah, well…”

“Does it relate to how your eyes were glowing in the car?”

“They were glowing?”

“I told you, he’s a vampire!” Star supplied as Ishiyama put two small bandages on the wounds; despite having created a lot of blood, the wounds themselves were relatively tiny holes. “A bonafide vampire!”

Lancer sighed and closed his eyes, then asked, expression clearly hoping Danny said no as the last thing they needed was another supernatural thing appearing in addition to ghosts, “Danny. Are you a vampire?”

Danny considered saying yes, but he couldn’t do that to Mr. Lancer, so instead he shook his head. “No. I just have… special saliva.” He slowly stepped back a step, instinctually wanting to gain distance, then another and another as he said, “And fangs. And glowing eyes. It’s nothing though, just, er… Ecto-contamination! Yeah. From the lab, I—ah!” Danny tripped backwards, not seeing the step-stool behind him. “Fuck,” he said.

Danny had ended up sitting in a wheelchair. Literally in it, as in he was on the floor and the seat was phased through his chest.

“And I suppose that’s ecto-contamination, too?” Ishiyama said dryly, standing there with her arms crossed, looking unamused.

“Um. Please don’t tell my parents,” Danny said quietly, not bothering to move—they’d all seen. More than two years he’d kept his ghostliness a secret from all but his two best friends and sister, and now suddenly three more knew, including the school’s principal/nurse and vice-principal/teacher. He could try to lie again, but Mr. Lancer was his favorite teacher, and Danny felt he could trust him with the truth. Hopefully Ishiyama could be trusted too.

“Your parents, two ghost hunters, don’t know their son is… is a ghost?” Ishiyama asked, clearly trying to be professional, but struggling as she finally processed the realization.

Lancer, on the other hand, already had tears trailing down his cheeks. “You’re… you’re a g-ghost… You d-died? But how? When…?”

Danny floated to his feet, not bothering to pretend to climb to them, since that was easier and there was no reason to hide it now, and alighted in the space in front of the chair. “Since I started high school,” Danny revealed. “Yeah, as long as you’ve known me,” he told the two adults, who were clearly shocked by that revelation. “It happened the summer before. But, um, I’m a little different than other ghosts, you see…”

Danny told the two adults the same story he told Star.

“So, um, any questions?” Danny said at the end.

“Yes, actually,” Lancer said. “Does this explain why you’re always vanishing before ghost attacks? You’re trying to prevent being captured?”

“Captured?” Danny asked, puzzled.

“Yes. By Phantom or ghost hunters,” Lancer explained. “They seem to be fairly indiscriminate, capturing both good and bad ghosts.”

“Hey! I—er, Phantom leaves the good ghosts alone!” Danny protested, wincing at his slip-up. His eyes just might have glowed too; oops.

“Then, you’re hiding from the ghost hunters,” Lancer concluded, missing Danny’s mistake, although Ishiyama narrowed her eyes, calculating.

“Or, maybe he’s helping Phantom?” Star suggested. “Phantom uses Fenton tech, right?”

“No,” Ishiyama said curtly, arms crossed again. “He is Phantom. Aren’t you, Danny?”

“Is this true?” Lancer asked Danny quietly.

Star’s eyes lit up. “Ohmygosh. Now I can tell Paulina not just that I’ve made out with a vampire, but that I’ve made out with Phantom! Oooh, she’s going to be so jealous! Don’t worry, I won’t tell her you’re the same,” she then assured Danny.

Danny sighed. “Please don’t tell Paulina you made out with Phantom in general,” he told Star. “Knowing her, she’ll just come after me with even more determination, trying to go further or something.”

“So? Wouldn’t you want that?” Star asked. “She’s, like, the hottest girl in school. People have—I mean, would kill to just kiss her, let alone date her.”

“I’d just rather not date any human,” Danny told her, choosing to ignore the odd and disturbing slip-up. “I’m some sort of freak human-ghost hybrid that may or may not be immortal.”

Lancer cleared his throat to bring their attention back to the adults. “So, you are Phantom, then?” he confirmed.

“Hypotheitically, if the answer’s yes, would either of you tell anyone?” Danny asked the two adults, even though his answer to Star basically had confirmed it.

“Of course not,” Lancer said more gently.

“You’re the Town Hero,” Ishiyama added confidently. “We wouldn’t do anything to compromise that.”

“Then, yeah,” Danny admitted. “Yeah, I’m Phantom. I’ve got both a more human and a more ghost form.” Danny shifted to Phantom form. “It’s mostly an appearance shift though, not fully-human versus fully-ghost,” he explained. “The main differences are whether or not gravity is the default, and human form can get through ghost shields and avoid some ghost detection systems and ghost trackers. Not the more sensitive ones, but the basic ones.”

“So why isn’t the alarm going off now?” Star wondered. “They told us it was the better model.”

Danny rubbed the back of his head in mild embarrassment. “Well, my parents do make them, and they have a central control system that can be programmed to include or exclude certain ghosts, and Tucker is pretty great at making it so they can’t tell it’s been modified with exceptions…”

“So he had it exclude your ecto-signature,” Ishiyama concluded. “Just yours, or…?”

“Known friendlies, too,” Danny admitted.

“Like Poindexter?” Lancer asked.

Danny frowned. “No, actually… I mean, he is friendly, but… He just doesn’t set off sensors. No one’s really sure why? Some ghosts just have unique abilities.”

“Could he be like you?” Star wondered. “With the human body switching thing.”

Danny shook his head. “No, when I first met him he was pretty jealous that I got the whole living body experience going on. If you can call it living.” At first Danny had treated it that way, but he honestly wasn’t sure anymore.

“So, back to the alarm,” Lancer said. “If Tucker knows your identity, I assume Sam does too?”

“Yeah, and my sister,” Danny said. He changed back to human form, realizing that Phantom being there might be suspicious if anyone else came in.

There was a gasp from the doorway; Danny swerved around. He hadn’t heard the door open, but there stood Paulina in her gym clothes, hand on the door knob, door wide open. She quickly closed the door, then glared at Star and crossed her arms.

“Hey, I only found out today too!” Star said, hands up, apparently predicting Paulina’s thoughts.

“Great, now even more people know,” Danny said with a groan, putting his hands over his face.

“I don’t know whether to be disappointed that you’re not a vampire, or happy that you’re Phantom,” Paulina told Danny.

“Well, if you want him to drink your blood, he’s pretty good at it,” Star happily declared, and Danny and both adults winced.

“What? He drank your blood?” Paulina asked, confused.

So, Star and Danny quickly recapped everything for her.

Paulina contemplated things for a moment, then said, “So, Fenton, if I pay you five-hundred dollars—”

“Miss Sanchez!” Lancer chided. “Mr. Fenton is not a call boy!”

“No duh; I’m not paying him for sex, just for a kiss and a bite, like with Star. Although…”

“No,” Danny told Paulina, shutting those thoughts of hers down immediately. “Kiss and bite, fine, but nothing further.”

“Mr. Fenton!” Lancer proclaimed.

Ishiyama cleared her throat, grabbing everyone’s attention. “No one will be paying anyone for biting them. Now, Paulina, why did you come here? Do you have an injury?”

“Oh, right,” Paulina said. “One of the geeks got injured in gym class, sprained ankle or something. Tetslaff’s radio broke though so she sent me to get the wheelchair.” She said this as though it were an offhand comment.

“A Separate Peace! Lead with that next time!” Lancer declared, looking harrowed. He grabbed the wheelchair and hurried through the door.

Ishiyama sighed. “You three, back to class. Fenton, Thunder, you two have detention today for skipping first period. You have it Monday too for the same reason, because I do not want to write on the discipline forms ‘drank another student’s blood’ and ‘paid another student to drink blood’. Now, if you excuse me…” Ishiyama left to follow Lancer.

Star, Danny, and Paulina looked at each other, none bothering to leave yet. Paulina’s eyes then fell on Star’s neck before looking back at Danny. Danny didn’t even see Paulina take it out, but suddenly a wad of hundred-dollar bills was being handed to him.

Danny sighed. “Janitor’s closet okay?” he asked, and Paulina nodded. It was right next to the nurse’s office, so Danny took her by the hand and phased them through the wall, eagerly anticipating the encounter—all that revealing of stuff had mentally tired him out, and he needed something to lift his mood.

Chapter Text

“Um. So there’s some really odd rumors going around…” Sam said when she, Danny, and Tucker sat down at their usual outdoor lunch spot.

“They paid me five-hundred dollars each, there was no way I was refusing that,” Danny said, well aware of what they meant. Paulina and Star had not told anyone he was Phantom, they were smart enough to keep that secret, nor were they saying he was a ghost, but the vampire rumor had already spread before that, and they were definitely not hiding their bite marks from this morning (Star took the bandages off before going back to class, and Paulina opted for Danny to lick the blood off until it stopped bleeding—which he willingly did, and was a mix of ashamed at and enthralled at). The students had drawn conclusions from that.

“What! No way,” Tucker said.

Danny grinned. “Yes, way. Looks like we’re both getting that new gaming system.”

“Danny, that’s…” Sam trailed, seeming lost at what to say.

“A great way to make money?” Danny said, still grinning.

“No! It’s, like… I dunno. Immoral? Or, I guess technically not, but… Ugh. I dunno.”

“Yo, Babypop!” came a shout, and Ember swooped down and landed kneeling in front of the group, looking excited. “Is it true? You found people to drink blood from?”

“Huh? No ghost sense?” Tucker asked, which Danny ignored—Tucker and Sam knew that Danny’s ghost sense stopped going off around ghosts he was close to, and he still didn’t want them really knowing that Ember was a friend (especially one with some benefits), though it might be too late now.

“What? Ember?” Danny asked, mildly confused. “What are you doing here? And, wait, how do you even know that already!?”

“Um, enhanced hearing, remember? I was floating around and heard the rumors. I am sooooo jealous!” Ember declared.

“Wait, what? Why?”

“Didn’t you know? Ghosts can get energy from blood just like they can from ectoplasm!” Ember informed Danny, as though it were common knowledge. “In fact, that’s where vampire legends started! It’s apparently just as tasty as purified ectoplasm.”

“Oh. So… ghosts are vampires?” Danny clarified.

“Duh. Why do you think we all have fangs?”

“Um. I dunno, thought it was a ghost thing? I didn’t expect them to overlap…”

Ember shrugged. “Most supernatural stuff is ultimately just ghosts,” she casually said. “Anyway, how was it? I haven’t tried it yet; is it really as amazing as they say? It was with that Star girl you were talking about, right? Was it just the bite, or did you have some fun, too?”

Danny blushed. “Ah, well, it actually was pretty tasty…” More than he wanted to admit, intoxicating really, and now he knew why (Danny had only tried purified ectoplasm twice, as it was rare, and any his parents made in the lab they would definitely notice missing, but yeah, the blood definitely compared to it).

“And the girl?”

“We just, er, made out, and then I had a taste,” Danny mumbled, aware he was blushing significantly. “She paid me to do it. Paulina did the same when she found out.” Then, before Ember could ask Danny to compare Star and Paulina to her or something, which he didn’t want her asking in front of Sam and Tucker, he swerved back to the earlier topic and asked, “But, if ghosts do drink blood, why don’t I ever see them do it?”

“Oh, well, it’s kinda taboo to drink from an unwilling human,” Ember revealed. “Like, most of us do have morals, you know.”

“What about blood banks?” Danny wondered.

“I mean, technically we could use blood banks, but that’s kinda not very nice, right? Humans need those to stay alive, and we don’t need it unless we can’t get ectoplasm, which isn’t an issue around here because the ambient levels are so high and the portal can always get us back home,” Ember explained. “Besides, it’s not like we’ll fade without enough ectoplasm or blood; we just revert back to a stupid intangible barely-visible form.”

“Oh,” Danny said. He hadn’t known that. He wondered if he would become that way without it… No, he had a body. Would his ghost become trapped in an unmoving corpse in that case? Danny decided he didn’t want to think about it. He’d just make sure he got enough ectoplasm or blood to not find out. Hopefully blood especially; that had supercharged him, made him feel just as good as fighting or makeout sessions with Ember… Wait, no, what was he thinking?!

“Um, hey, we’re here too,” Tucker interjected. “As fascinating as this conversation is—What. The. Fuck?!”

“Yeah, um, blood drinking conversation aside, since when are you two friends?” Sam wondered. “And when did you talk to her about Star?”

“No, blood drinking not aside; I want to know more about Danny apparently finding blood tasty,” Tucker asserted.

“Like Ember said: ghosts and vampires are apparently different myths about the same species,” Danny reiterated with a shrug, trying to play it cool even though honestly he was a little disturbed at the situation too; had he really been thinking less than a minute ago that he hoped he could drink more blood? He continued, “So makes sense it would taste good, right? Just like ectoplasm tastes good to us and not you.”

“But you’re only half-ghost,” Tucker emphasized.

Danny shrugged. “If you say so,” he said, pretty sure he now agreed with Ember about it actually being a fair amount more than half, particularly if he was finding blood tasty and it had definitely charged his core (the fact that his core powered him and he could only mimic a heartbeat when needed was just more evidence that he was more ghost than human). Before Ember could chime in with some quip about it not being half, Danny informed them, “By the way, Lancer, Ishiyama, Star, and Paulina all know I’m Phantom.”

“What?” Sam hissed. “How!?”

Danny told the three of them the full story.

“My best friend, a vampire-ghost, being paid by the two hottest girls in school to drink their blood, then caught by a teacher? And he’s friends with Ember McLain? This is some crazy dream,” Tucker concluded. “Nocturn, this isn’t funny!” he yelled at the sky.

“Not a dream,” Danny said.

“...Is it bad that I’m kinda curious now?” Sam asked with a blush.

Ember leaned towards Sam and looked into her eyes, giving her a fanged grin. “Want to go for a round two, this time with biting?”

“Sam, no,” Danny said upon noting her contemplative expression.

“Hey! Don’t be a hypocrite, Babypop; Let her decide,” Ember said.

“Hypocrite?” Danny asked.

“Uh, yeah? Or does your hip currently not have—”

“Okay Ember, that’s enough!” Danny shouted, vigorously blushing.

Sam raised an eyebrow at Danny and crossed her arms. Well, so much for their arrangement staying hidden.

“We, er, might have gotten a little frisky the other night,” Danny mumbled. “Strictly no-strings.” That also led Danny to discover that apparently ghost bites did not heal overnight, like most wounds did for him.

“So, BabyGoth, you in?” Ember asked.

“Eh, why not,” Sam decided. “If Danny’s okay with making out with and being erotically bitten by ghosts, so am I. Meet me in my bedroom tonight.”

Ember grinned. “Great! And as BabyPop over here can attest, you are so not gonna regret this!” she declared, side-eyeing Danny.

“It’s true,” Danny agreed, as his blushing finally calmed somewhat. “Especially the bite.”

“You’re all really fucked up,” Tucker stated; Danny couldn’t tell from the tone whether or not he was joking or truly believed that.

“Star, Paulina, can we talk to you for a sec?” Danny told the girls as they left the school; Ember was floating next to him.

“Uh. Sure?” Star said, sounding confused as the two girls followed around the corner of the building.

“Hi Ember!” Paulina greeted, then informed Danny, “I thought she was the first ghost I kissed, during spin-the-bottle at that party, but I guess it was you after all.”

“She’s counting that time she was overshadowed,” Star clarified at Danny’s confusion.

“I thought you didn’t remember that?” Danny asked Paulina.

“I don’t,” Paulina replied. “Still counts. So, what do you want us to know?”

“Oh. About the vampire thing—I thought you’d like to know that Ember informed me of something really interesting earlier, after she learned what I did.”

“They’re the same,” Ember said, and at the girls’ blank looks clarified, “Ghosts and vampires. Different myths born from the same species.”

“Basically, if ghosts don’t have enough energy to maintain a solid tangible form, which can happen outside of an ecto-rich environment when they don’t have access to consumable ectoplasm to make up for that, ghosts can derive energy from blood,” Danny explained. “Basically, ancient humans didn’t realize the two were the same creature, mistakenly thinking ghosts were only the wispier form and that the solid form was something else, which they called vampires or their language’s equivalent.”

“So then, ghosts around here don’t drink blood because there’s lots of ecto around?” Star gathered.

“Ghosts in general don’t drink blood because generally we do care about a little something called consent,” Ember spat at her, then said more calmly, “It’s not like we’ll fade without it or anything; it’s a little annoying being fully intangible and translucent for an extended period of time, but it’s not unendurable. Ghosts who do take blood without consent are rare, and it’s looked down upon, kinda like addicts.”

“The taste was definitely addicting,” Danny mused, then upon realizing what he’d said amended, “Not in the way that I’ll feel compelled to have it or something! Just, like, really good cake.”

Star and Paulina looked at each other, having a silent conversation, then turned to Danny and Ember with matching grins that looked almost predatory. Danny stepped back slightly, feeling mildly intimidated despite the fact that technically ‘vampires’ were supposed to be the predators.

“So, we were already thinking about this, but you liking it so much just makes us more sure about it,” Star began.

Paulina continued, “We have a proposition for you… Both of you.”

Ember licked her lips. “You offering your blood again?”

Danny chuckled. “You really want to try it, don’t you, Ember?”

“Well, I am definitely not opposed,” Star said, “but that’s not our proposition.”

Paulina grinned viciously. “We want to start a business. We find people willing to pay you to drink their blood, we get a commission.”

“Done,” Ember said.

“I dunno,” Danny said, a little more reluctant. His core pulsed in a desire to have more blood, but… “Isn’t that illegal?”

“No, it’s not against the law,” Paulina informed him. “Well, not technically. It’s kinda a legal gray area, not much regulation. As long as both parties consent, kinky things like blood drinking is legal, including for money if there’s no sex involved.”

“Okay, fine, it’s legal. But…” Danny then thought of something else. “If it gets out that ghosts are vampires, and people think I’m a vampire, they’ll realize I’m actually a ghost…”

“I can wear something different, throw people off,” Ember said. She then dismissed her current outfit, leaving her in just a black lacy bra and underwear—Danny found himself unable to look away, and it seemed so did Star and Paulina, especially after Ember threw them a knowing wink—and put a hand on her chin. “Hmm. What do I have attuned to me?” Right, ghosts could ‘attune’ a certain amount of ghostly objects, including clothes, to summon them at will; apparently Ember had clothes in addition to her guitar.

Ember snapped her fingers and suddenly was in a lacy black sleeveless dress of the stereotypical ‘gothic vampire’ sort. She wore a choker necklace with a waterfall of red stones hanging down in a triangle pattern, pointing towards the dress’s corset portion, which enhanced her cleavage.

“Nice,” Paulina said appraisingly. “If we put a wig on you and change the makeup, and give you a different name, no one will know.”

Ember grinned viciously. “Sounds good to me,” she declared. “Now, let’s talk business…”

“I didn’t say I was in,” Danny pointed out. A part of him did want to, but another part still struggled with the morals of it.

“But we need a male vampire,” Star said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll convince him,” Ember told the girls confidently as she slung an arm around Danny’s shoulders.

Danny took a deep (unneeded) breath. “You know what, fine,” he decided. “I’ll do it.” It felt good and was apparently legal, so why not?

“You’re going to what?!” Sam questioned upon Danny telling them of the plan. They and Tucker were sitting at the Nasty Burger, shortly after the meeting Danny had with the girls.

“I’m going to make a lot of money,” Danny said. And will get to chase that adrenaline-fueled feeling that he constantly sought to stave off the constant feelings of melancholy, but Danny wasn’t about to tell his friends that.

“Dude. Pretty sure she’s talking about the biting people part,” Tucker said. “Is that even legal?”

“It’s legal-adjacent,” Danny said cagily. “As long as it sticks with biting, we should be fine. And there’s no school rule against it, either.”

“Yeah, only because no one ever thought anyone would be insane enough to do that!” Tucker asserted. “You’re really going to run this ‘business’ in school?”

Danny shrugged. “Why not? It’s just making out and biting. Plenty of places to quickly do it without being caught, and it’s convenient not having to leave.”

“I guess that’s safer too,” Sam mused. “Less chances of them trying to go further… It isn’t going to go further, is it?” she asked warily.

“Nah; it’s going to be making out and biting. Paulina and Star are working on a ‘menu’ for it. Oh, and dates; the rule for that’s a public place and the client pays for any additional expenses.”

“‘Client’?” Sam quoted, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah? I mean, what else would we use?”

“Danny, that makes you sound like an escort,” Tucker pointed out.

“Not sounds like; is!” Sam proclaimed. “Danny, you can’t do this.”

“Seriously, it’ll be fine, guys,” Danny promised. “It’s perfectly legal, it’s gonna make me money, and it’s fun; how can it go wrong?”

“Famous last words,” Sam grumbled.

“Look, I’m a gh—I have ghost powers,” Danny told them. “If something happens, I can escape. Besides, it’s not just me! Ember’s in on it too, and she can get super overprotective, if anything happens she won’t let them live it down.”

“That’s a metaphor, right?” Tucker asked worriedly.

Danny ignored that question. “Seriously, you should see what she did to Skulker the last time he tried to hunt me—he’s definitely not going to be a problem anymore.”

Sam looked mildly confused at this. “Isn’t she still dating him?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, what?” Tucker said. “If they’re dating, then why’s she hooking up with you and Sam, and doing this thing?”

Danny shrugged. “Ghost relationship culture is a lot looser than human relationship culture.”

“But I’ve seen them argue about cheating, especially Kitty and Johnny!”

“Yet they always return to each other,” Danny pointed out. “That’s just… their dynamic. They find it fun to act like that.”

“So Kitty… doesn’t actually care?”

“Well she cares when he’s ignoring her to flirt, but if she’s busy with something else she doesn’t really care, as long as he returns in the end.”

“Wait,” Sam said, looking a little confused. “Then why did they do the whole thing where they got rid of the men in town?”

“Oh, I actually asked Ember about that,” Danny recalled. “She said, her words, ‘just because we don’t give a flying fuck about monogamy doesn’t mean we can’t still get pissed off at our men for other reasons’.”

“Valid,” Sam replied, just as the server called their order number.

Chapter Text

“Ugh, this is not a class I want to have first period on a Monday…” Tucker, seated to the left of Danny, which happened to be the back corner of the classroom, groaned.

“Do you think Lancer set this up because of Friday?” Star, seated at the desk right of Danny, whispered in Danny’s ear.

“No; it’s been planned ever since that siren ghost incident,” Danny muttered back. He had completely forgotten about it.

“Oooh, she was hot…” Paulina sighed, seated in front of Danny; for some reason, the two girls had decided to sit as near as possible to him despite usually sitting futher—they had paid Mikey and Nathan to swap seats with them.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I missed her,” Tucker whined.

“I’m glad you did,” Sam, seated in front of Tucker, said.

“Wait. You don’t think this will affect the business, do you?” Paulina asked worriedly. “I was hoping to be launch it this week…”

“I doubt it will,” Danny said. “Bet it works like DARE, and telling students not to will only increase our number of clients.”

“OKAY, YOU LITTLE MAGGOTS,” Tetslaff yelled. “LISTEN UP!”

“Are you allowed to call us that?” Tucker wondered aloud as everyone quieted.

“I can call you what I want!” Tetslaff asserted. “Now, today for Anti-Ghost Training, we have a special lecture. I know, not as fun as shooting weapons, but you gotta know this.”

Tetslaff slammed her hand on the chalkboard, upon which was written ‘ANTI-GHOST TRAINING SPECIAL LECTURE: RESISTING SEDUCTIVE-TYPE GHOSTS’. On the other side of the chalkboard stood Danny parents.

“Now, we have guest speakers for this one,” Tetslaff explained. “Listen up if you know what’s good for you! This is how we prevent chaos like that damn siren ghost caused.”

“Still can’t believe I missed that,” Tucker grumbled.

“Hey, Danny,” Star whispered, as Danny’s parents began unnecessarily introducing themselves and their credentials. “What are your thoughts on cross-dressing?”

Danny took a moment to process that. “Hold up, what?” he hissed back.

“Cross-dressing. You know, wearing cute girly outfits even though you’re a guy,” Star explained.

“I know what that is,” Danny said with an eyeroll. “I mean, why bring that up?”

Star dangerously grinned. “So, Pauli and I put out some feelers for the business and what people want. Turns out, ‘boy vampire in drag’ is a very popular desire!”

“They do know that I’m the ‘vampire’, right?” Danny confirmed.

“Oh yeah they do; this vampire thing has skyrocketed your hotness factor,” Star informed Danny. “Anyway, people even said they’ll pay extra for drag.”

“You’re insane.”

“So that’s a no?” Star asked with mock disappointment and pleading eyes.

Danny considered that. He wasn’t vehemently opposed, but it wasn’t something he’d ever imagined himself doing. However… “...How much more are we talking about?”

“Danny! Stop talking to your friends and pay attention now; the lesson is starting!” Danny’s mom called from the front.

Danny didn’t react to the chuckles received from his classmates, too used to it by now—his parents were guest lecturers in ghost-related classes and assemblies way too often, and never failed to do something to embarrass him.

“Now,” Jack said firmly, using a physical pointer stick to gesture to the projector screen in front of the chalkboard, which must have been set up when Danny was chatting with Star. Currently it said the same thing the chalkboard did, but in colorful lettering with cartoon ghosts surrounding it. “There are many legends about creatures that try to seduce people, going as far back to the dawn of known recorded history! Well, as it turns out, most these legends, if not all, are simply various ghosts.”

Jack clicked a button on a small handheld device and the image changed, to Danny’s surprise, then he remembered that the school had actually upgrade some equipment for once and now had digital projectors instead of the clunky physical overhead projectors. They were still older models, but at least they could be used for powerpoint presentations like this one, without having to print out the slides as some teachers did in the past.

“Now, you’re all familiar with this one,” Maddie said, using a laser pointer to circle the image of the ghost on screen—the same siren that had enchanted the town, photo from the news.

The ghost looked mostly like a typical model-quality woman, albeit with blue skin, but there were a few distinctly nonhuman features: blue scaled wings extended out from under her arms; her legs ended in webbed talons; a tail extended from her rear, blue-scaled and fluted like a fish’s at the end; her hair glittered as it was made from threads of tiny blue fishscales; and, like all ghosts, she had fangs. She was a blend of woman, bird, and fish, and that explained why there were so many varying descriptions of the species in ancient and medieval literature, with some saying they were closer to the bird-like harpies and others mixing them up with mermaids.

Although black bars covered certain sensitive areas of the siren, half the class stared at the picture, almost drooling. Danny blushed, recalling his encounter with her.

“Oh, shit, the picture alone affects them too,” Jack said, immediately clicking the button to turn the projector off.

“Jack, language,” Maddie chided, then told the class, “As you can see, seductive-type ghosts can often ensnare someone simply based on looks—now, normally a picture wouldn’t do it, but most of you heard her voice and saw her, so seeing the picture likely reminded you of that. Many can ensnare someone by voice, too, as sirens can. Now, let’s review other common types…”

Jack turned the projector back on and quickly switched to the next slide, which showed pictures of mermaids; it seemed none were of actual ghosts, only drawings from various documents through the ages. The two rotated who explained what. Other ghosts covered were harpies, succubi, incubi, selkies, kitsune, and a few more. Oddly enough, vampires were not included—likely because technically all human-based ghosts counted as such, and their powers didn’t technically include magical seduction.

“Now, let’s get to the techniques to resist these foul creatures!” Jack declared. He clicked a button and the slide changed to show a picture of a person with earmuffs giving a thumbs-up contrasted with a drawing of a harpy strangling someone. “First: if it’s a sound-based entrapment, the first thing to do is to block the sound! The best way is to cover yours ears with something like earmuffs, ear plugs, or noise-cancelling headphones. If that’s not possible, drown it out with louder sounds, like music!”

Maddie then spoke as Jack switched to the next slide, which showed numerous up-close pictures of different parts of the creatures, with things like wings or claws circled. “Next, as you’ve probably noticed, the creatures we’ve reviewed thus far all have clearly inhuman features, often hybridized with animals,” Maddie explained. “However, even though there are clearly inhuman features, the human-like ones will often distract from them. So, the second technique: focus on the inhuman parts! Fangs, claws, wings, scales, tails…”

“Yeah! You wouldn’t want to copulate with something that has claws or a tail!” Jack proclaimed.

“I dunno, catboys are kinda cute,” Brittany mused.

“That’s…. Not a type of ghost,” Jack said, looking a little baffled.

“Yes they are; that nekomata thing that was mentioned!” Tiffanie pointed out. “The picture was a hot female, but there must be hot male ones too!”

“Oh yeah, the picture of the female one was definitely hot,” Kwan confirmed.

“Yeah, I’d totally do her,” Dash agreed. “Just, grab that tail and—”

“Okay, THAT’S ENOUGH!” Tetslaff shouted, quieting the class. “Just pay attention! If you have a fetish for whatever features the thing has, then I’m sure there are other techniques!”

“Dude, if I encounter a succubi, I’m so not going to want to resist,” Dale said. “Like, she can just straight-up eat me if she wants.”

“Succubi don’t eat people, they just make them go mad,” Mikey pointed out.

“Well then, she can do that.”

There was much agreement from most of the class.

Maddie sighed in frustration whereas Jack looked lost. “Let’s get to the next part, then,” Maddie asserted. “Next up: What do you do when there are no non-human features? Or, I suppose, if the nonhuman features are an attraction…”

“Right. What if they’re just hot,” Jack said, switching to the next slide, which simply said that.

“Now, we are aware that there are many ghosts who are merely conventionally hot, with no specific seductive magic,” Maddie said. “They might look like they’re your age. They might seem friendly and flirt with you. So you might be tempted to try to date them or have sex with them, despite the skin being off-color and the fangs, which all ghosts have. Don’t fall for their tricks!”

“Yeah!” Jack declared. “You need to ignore them, ignore those urges to kiss them or do more, just as you’d do with any other human trying to solicit such from you!”

Danny resisted the urge to laugh, as it appeared so did numerous other students; his parents did realize this was high school, right, not elementary school?

Nathan raised a hand. “Um, if Ember walked up to me and asked me to make out with her, that’s gonna be a hard yes.”

“That’s why you gotta resist!” Jack asserted.

“Too late for that,” Tucker quietly snickered, wagging his eyebrows at Danny, who couldn’t help but blush.

“But what if we don’t want to?” Nathan’s twin, Lester, asked.

“Yeah, I’d totally pay actual money for her to make out with me,” Kwan said.

“Are there protocols for how to be safe with a ghost?” Ashley wondered.

“Yeah, what if we actually want to kiss one?” Paulina asked, though there was a small snicker in her voice—she had, after all.

“Watch the fangs,” Danny quietly suggested, winking at Star (as she was beside him whereas Paulina was in front and thus couldn’t see) and flashing his; Star giggled in response.

“How about condoms?” Mia asked. “Can ghosts use them, or will their spunk phase through?”

“We are not teaching you about that, because that will not be happening!” Maddie nearly shrieked. “Honestly! Ghosts. Are. Not. Your. Friends. Sexual relations with them are taboo! Even simply kissing or dating them is! Do. Not. Do. It.”

“Um, didn’t your daughter date a ghost?” Dash asked.

“As soon as Jazz realized, she ended things with him!” Jack said.

“Yes, he was one that could hide his ghostly aura, which is why we will also be reviewing ways to identify ghosts playing as human,” Maddie said, as the screen switched to a new slide with a list; Danny had a feeling she was trying to move the conversation along as quickly as possible.

Danny put his arms on the desk and rested his chin on them, deciding to make himself as small as possible so that no one noticed that he fit almost every single ‘sign’ listed.

Hypothermic skin temperature? Check. Eyes glowing when emotional? Check. Fangs? Check. Lighter than a human should be? Check. Bleed ectoplasm? Check. No breathing? Check. No heartbeat? Check. Occasional power slip-ups? Check, although in his case it was accidental activation rather than forgetting to hide them, usually.

…So, how exactly wasn’t Danny a full ghost again? Oh right, the final two ‘signs’: no need to sleep, and no need to eat. Danny couldn’t help but think it was kinda unfair that those were the still-human things he needed to do out of everything.

“Can’t some of that just be faked?” Mia asked when they finished listing everything.

“Well, yes,” Jack said. “But, it can be hard to fake everything all at once! And some can’t even be faked—you can’t just get rid of fangs!”

“You can use a retainer,” Mikey pointed out.

“Um, question,” Sarah said, raising her hand. “How can you tell if it’s a ghost, or just ecto-contamination? Cause, um, your son kinda fits all of that.”

“No, he still definitely eats and sleeps,” Paulina said.

“But can’t a ghost fake those?” Sara replied.

Danny sighed. “For the hundredth time, I’m not a ghost,” he told the class.

“He has a heartbeat, and that can’t be faked,” Maddie asserted. “Plus, he bleeds blood, not ectoplasm. Right, Danny?”

“Right,” Danny lied.

“Prove it!” Dash demanded with a sneer.

“What? No, I’m not cutting myself just to show you my blood’s red, Dash,” Danny said. “You’ll have to take my word for it.”

“You know, since his blood’s red, but everything else applies or can be faked, that really only confirms the vampire theory,” Star mused aloud, and then winked at Danny.

“Stop telling people that!” Danny snarled, though made sure to show his fangs, knowing that Star was likely just trying to get more people to think he was in order to further their business—hence why he also made sure not to explicitly say he wasn’t.

“HEY!” Tetslaff shouted. “If y’all are finished spreading more rumors about your scrawny classmate, let the Fentons finish the lecture or I’ll make you run laps in gym later instead of playing dodgeball!”

As Danny’s parents continued, Paulina turned around and leaned on Danny’s desk, grinning.

“Let me guess; you have another idea?” Danny muttered dryly. “If it involves roleplaying as things other than a vampire, the answer’s no.”

“No, but that is a great idea,” Paulina whispered mischievously. “But, we can table that until later—if we start too big it won’t take off. My idea was a ‘chase by a vampire’ thing, but speaking of roleplaying…”

Danny narrowed his eyes. “Paulina…”

“Relax, I just mean, like, what you did with Star—you know, the book scene. People actually were saying they’d pay for that, too.”

“You know I can’t act for shit.”

“Just use an earpiece,” Star chimed in.

“Oooh, that could work… So, Danny, you in?” Paulina asked.

Danny sighed. “Well, I guess—Ah!”

Tetslaff’s hand shammed on Danny’s desk between the two. “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PAYING ATTENTION?!” she shouted. “Sanchez, face the front. Fenton, sit up straight. And in gym, you’re both doing laps instead of dodgeball!”

“That’s a punishment?” Danny said without thinking; he wasn’t a big fan of dodgeball, as it often turned into the jocks playing ‘how many nerds can we hit’.

“Do you want detention too?”

“No, laps are fine,” Danny conceded.

As Tetslaff returned to the front, Paulina turned back to face Danny and grinned. “This is perfect! We can discuss the business more while—”

“SANCHEZ!” Tetslaff shouted; Paulina winced and abruptly turned back around.

Chapter Text

A week later, the business, titled ‘Vampires for Hire’, had not only been launched but was booming. Currently, Ember (in a black braided wig) and Danny were in a tool shed behind the bleachers, where a couple of football players had requested them both at once, alternating, multiple ‘pinprick bites’ (meaning, no blood sucking, unfortunately) and making out; Danny was honestly surprised, as the football team wasn’t known for being the most LGBT-friendly group, but maybe they rationalized it because they’d paid extra for Danny to wear a cheerleading uniform (Ember was in one too)—how they had the money for all those bites, Danny didn’t ask nor want to know. There was a multi-bite discount, but still, their chests, upper arms, and shoulders had looked like pincushions by the end of that.

The football players left, and Danny grabbed his shirt from where it hung on a rake.

“Wait; first…” Ember stepped over to Danny and slung an arm around his waist, pulling him to her with a small squeak. Before he could say anything, Ember’s lips were on his, and Danny was melting into the kiss.

BANG!

“FREEZE, GHOSTS!” someone shouted as the door flew open. There stood the Red Huntress, ecto weapon drawn.

Ember and Danny both shouted in surprise and jumped back from each other; Ember was fine, but Danny had been too close to the tools, and tumbled down.

“Well, shit,” Ember said, arms up as Valerie held the weapon towards her.

“Where’s the other ghost?” Valerie demanded. “I detected two in here.”

“Uh. No ghosts here, just vampires,” Ember said.

“Shut up,” Valerie spat. “Unlike all the idiots in this school, I’ve actually read the ghost research books—I know vampires and ghosts are the same thing, Ember.”

“No, it’s Amber.”

Valerie growled, then shot towards the girl; Ember yelped and moved to duck, but the shot wasn’t aimed at her—instead, her wig was knocked off, revealing her flaming ponytail. Valerie’s expression was blocked by her mask, but her tone of voice led Danny to imagine she was grinning victoriously as she said, “You were saying?”, then her smile flattening again as she demanded, “Now, where’s the second ghost?”

“What the hell, Red?!” Danny exclaimed as he extracted himself from the tools and scrambled to his feet, then realized his mistake.

“Fenton, you be quiet, this has—wait, ‘Red’?” Valerie turned towards Danny. “Did you just call me ‘Red’?”

Danny winced. “Um. No?”

Valerie shook her head slowly, hand shaking. “No. No, it can’t be… This is a joke, it has to be a joke. Tell me you’re joking.”

“Well, if it’ll help, sure, I’m joking.”

Valerie’s hood was on, but Danny could just imagine her mouth pressing into a firm frown and her eyes narrowing as her body tensed; it seemed that was the wrong choice. “Danny. Tell the truth,” Valerie demanded.

“What truth?” Danny asked, trying to figure out how to salvage this. He and Ember were the only two ghosts to call her ‘Red’... Oh, maybe he could say he picked it up from Ember?

“Why did you call me ‘Red’?”

“Because that’s what Ember calls you? We’re… very close friends, if you couldn’t tell.”

“Hmm…”

“Come on, what more do you want me to say, Val?”

Valerie stiffened. “You know who I am,” she stated, turning the gun to face him now.

Danny pulsed his core towards Ember, signaling to her that she should leave now that the gun was off her, and that he’d be fine, even though all he had was hope that Valerie could be talked down. Ember looked reluctant, but did turn invisible and fly intangibly out of the shed.

Valerie turned her head towards where Ember was, and swore, then turned her head back to face Danny. “How do you know who I am?” she demanded, apparently deciding this was the more pressing matter over chasing Ember.

“Look, that’s not important. How about, we both just leave and forget about this, okay?”

“I can’t just forget about this!” Valerie asserted. “I detected two ghosts in here, and found Ember and you… Ugh. I knew you unbelievably were the guy involved in the vampire fetish thing, but I didn’t know you actually were one!”

“It’s just ecto-contam—”

“No,” Valerie interrupted. “It’s not. Anyone with enough ectoplasm to be detected by my upgraded tracker is dead, no exceptions. I did the research on that, too.”

“So there isn’t any chance you’ll forget about this,” Danny concluded.

“What the hell, Danny?!” Valerie proclaimed. “You’re gonna answer me now. Since when are you dead? How do you know my identity? Was calling me ‘Red’ really just picked up from your ghost girlfriend? Which, ugh, seriously?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Danny said with a hand wave. “Friends with benefits, and business partner, that’s it.”

“Still, ugh, a ghost? Really?”

Danny shrugged. “Well, I am a g—I mean, she’s attractive and stuff, so why not?”

“So you are a ghost,” Valerie said; damn, she’d caught the slip-up.

Danny still tried to deflect. “Come on, Val. Do I look like a ghost to you?”

“Well, you’ve got the fangs, your skin is constantly cold, the temperature in here is impossibly much colder than outside, your eyes are glowing…”

“But my body isn’t glowing,” Danny pointed out, cursing his night vision—the shed was dark enough that it activated, which meant glowing eyes. “I eat, and sleep.”

“Yet, my suit isn’t detecting vital signs—no heartbeat, no pulse. Yet it does detect a core.”

“What! Since when can your suit do that?!”

“Did you think only the tracker was upgraded?” Valerie quipped back. “So, now that it’s established you’re a ghost—who are you really?” She held her gun firmer.

“What? It’s just me, Val,” Danny said, holding his hands up, wondering when she’d switched from him being a ghost Danny to a ghost pretending to be Danny.

“No. No, it can’t be. Fenton can’t be dead. Clearly you’re a ghost pretending to be him,” she concluded; so, it was denial, then. “Why are you doing this? Where are you holding Fenton hostage?”

“I’m not,” Danny said. “I really am just me.”

Valerie growled. “No. You can’t fool—Wait,” she said, tone of voice shifting into one of horrified realization. “Danielle. Phantom’s clone. You’re like her, aren’t you? That’s what this is?”

Danny sighed. There was no use denying it, he supposed. “You mean, only partially alive? Yeah,” he confirmed. “Yeah, I’m a halfa, too.”

“Which means, you have a more-ghost form, too…” Valerie trailed, slowly coming to a realization. “A ghost form that I know…?”

“Yeah. You do know my ghost form,” Danny told her. “I’m honestly a little surprised you didn’t catch on just from Danielle, seeing she’s my clone.”

“She does look more like your sister than your actual sister,” Valerie noted, as she lowered her gun. “You’re right, I should have seen it… It’s just…”

“You didn’t want to believe it?” Danny said gently, lowering his hands too.

“Well, yeah,” Valerie said, looking down at her hands once her suit reabsorbed her gun (how did it even do that?). “Yeah. It’s… It’s hard to accept, you know? But I guess the signs were there, all this time… I mean, we’ve been classmates for a while, even if we only became friends in high school… But by that time, you were already dead, weren’t you? You were already a ghost… It was that summer, wasn’t it? The summer the portal opened. You stopped changing after that, not even a haircut. You’re the only kid in our class whose voice hasn’t started to change. Your height’s been the same; even your weight is the same. No one is that static; only ghosts are.”

“Ouch, lay it on thick, why don’t you?” Danny said a little snarkily, then winced. “Sorry. The… immortality thing only recently sunk in. I might have been in a bit of denial, too.” He had consulted with Frostbite about that, and gotten confirmation—he’d be 14 forever.

“I’ve been shooting at a human this whole time,” Valerie said sadly. “A friend… Ugh, and you kept trying to explain everything too, and I always just assumed you were lying, and…” She tapped her helmet and it retracted into her suit; Danny noticed her eyes were a little wet looking as she stared at him with clear sorrow. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Danny.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I don’t blame you for anything,” Danny told her, frankly shocked that she was the one apologizing to him. “But if it helps, technically I’m more ghost than human? Approximately eighty-five percent.” Frostbite confirmed that too; apparently, the initial incident mattered when it came to halfa creation.

Valerie scrunched her brow in mild confusion. “Halfas aren’t half human? But isn’t that the point of the name?”

“We’re super rare, so not much is known,” Danny told her. “During the whole incident with Danielle, I thought it was half-and-half, too; I only recently learned it can vary. Danielle actually is a perfect 50%; Vlad modeled her after his own stats.”

“50% and 85% are really different though,” Valerie noted.

“Yeah, they are,” Danny said. “And, it shows. In their human forms, they still need to breathe and have heartbeats, which, well, I don’t, as you know.”

“You sound sad about that.”

“I am. I…” Danny sighed. “I only learned this two days ago. I’m still somewhat processing it—until then I… Well, I did suspect I was more than half ghost, but I was really trying my best not to acknowledge it. Getting confirmation though… It’s just tough. It took me long enough to accept what I thought was being half ghost, and now I learn it’s 85%? It’s like I’ve died and have to accept it all over again.”

“So you do consider yourself… d-dead?”

Danny shrugged. “By all human definitions I am, regardless of form, right? I’m basically a ghost fused with my own corpse. Morbid, yeah, I know. Only thing that isn’t ghost at this point is needing to eat and sleep, plus the few human-body only things like gravity working by default, getting through most ghost shields, and the simpler radars not detecting me… I think that’s actually all at this point…” He really hoped it stayed that way; if gravity started hating his human form as much as it hated his ghost form, there was going to be issues.

“So that’s how Phantom—you—kept getting through the shields and vanishing from the old trackers,” Valerie mused, more to herself.

“Got it in one… So, er, is it too soon to propose some sort of truce…?” Danny tried, folding his legs slightly.

Valerie considered that for a long moment. “You’re really not mad at me for shooting at you so much and never listening when you tried to explain things?”

Danny shrugged. “I don’t like holding grudges. Life’s too short for that… or, well, I guess it’s not… ugh.” He put his hands over his face. “Why the hell did immortality have to be a thing I got? Vlad doesn’t have to deal with this shit!”

“He doesn’t?”

Danny sighed. “Actually, I dunno. His photos definitely look different. But he is, like, super rich, so I guess he could do surgery and stuff. Not like I could ask him though; no one knows where he’s hiding out… Uh, anyway, yeah, I’m not mad at you. Maybe I was frustrated at some points, but I was never mad at you.”

“You should be. I said and did so many horrible things to you…”

“You didn’t know.”

“Still… Um. Quick question, though: do you realize you’re currently floating?”

“I’m what?!” Danny asked in shock, looking down at himself. Sure enough, he was floating a few inches off the ground, knees bent slightly and toes pointed downward. “Aww, damn it, seriously?” He lowered himself back to the ground, frustrated. “I’ve never had issues with accidentally floating in human form before… Intangibility and invisibility, yeah, but never flight…”

“Oh. That explains all the beakers and pants incidents the first few months of freshman year,” Valerie realized.

“Yeah… Anyway,” Danny said, stepping forward and holding out his hand. “Truce?”

Valerie sighed and took Danny’s hand, giving it a shake. “Yeah, truce. I still need some time to process all this, but, yes, truce.”

Danny took a step back after letting go of her hand. “Um. One more thing—”

“I won’t go after your girlfriend,” Valerie interjected. “Not unless she’s doing illegal shit. Which this biting thing apparently isn’t. But she’s the only non-halfa ghost I’m making an exception for!”

“Again, not my girlfriend, but I guess that’s better than nothing, so, thanks,” Danny said. He knew even that was a lot for her to concede to; someday Danny hoped to turn around Valerie’s views on ghosts, but he had a feeling that just this truce was already a big step that Valerie needed to adjust to first.

Danny’s phone buzzed with a text message; he pulled it out to check, then winced.

“Everything okay?” Valerie wondered.

Danny chuckled. “Yeah. Star just needs her cheerleading uniform back asap; she, uh, is very creative with threats…”

“Oh. Right, you’re in…” Valerie blushed, apparently just realizing exactly what Danny was wearing as her eyes trailed down his body.

Danny grinned and raised an eyebrow. “Like what you see?”

Valerie blushed and looked back up to his face. “N-no! I mean, yes? No. Ugh!”

Danny laughed as he bent down to pick up his shirt from where it had fallen on the food, and looked around for his pants. “Don’t worry; you’re not the first to find this hot; honestly, most clients who pay for the costume package want me to cross-dress, what’s with that?” Not that he minded at all; it was actually kinda thrilling.

“Um. Well, you do have the body for it… A-anyway, I’m gonna just go, let you change…” Valerie trailed, tapping her neck to re-manifest her helmet (seriously, how did that suit work!?), and began moving towards the door.

“Or you can watch if you want, no charge,” Danny said, shooting her a teasing grin. He was feeling a little high after the earlier biting and then the argument with Valerie, which significantly spiked his adrenaline… it was probably a little concerning that arguments with Valerie, even an encounter as potentially-life-altering as this, made Danny feel good in the same way play-fighting with ghosts did.

Valerie let out a laugh that sounded a little like a bark as she put her hand on the door while looking back at him. “Heh. You wish. See you around, Danny.” She gave him a small wave, and then she was gone.

Danny spent a few moments staring after Valerie, wondering about that interaction; was Valerie still crushing on him, even after knowing he was Phantom?

Suddenly, the door burst open again; Danny jumped slightly in surprise, then calmed down as he realized it was just Star. He stared at her, also realizing that he was now floating near the ceiling, in human form.

“Seriously, Fenton? You’re still here?!” Star said, glaring at him. She sighed and grabbed his ankle, pulling him back down, her hands climbing up his body until he was finally grounded, putting her hands on his shoulder and giving him a stern look. “There’s a football game soon, and if I’m late, only God is going to be able to save you. Give me my uniform back.” She tugged a little on the cop top.

Danny laughed. “Trying to undress me?” he teased, then activated his intangibility and Star stumbled back, mouth open slightly as she looked at the top in her hand, then back at Danny.

Star then laughed. “Maybe I am,” she said as she stepped forward and matched his grin, moving her hands to tug at the top of the skirt next. Danny activated his intangibility again. “Hmm,” Star hummed, and Danny blushed as he realized where she was looking. “Next time, wear sexier underwear.”

“Excuse me?” Danny asked, blinking in surprise.

“They’re just so basic.”

“Well blame Paulina then; she got them!” Danny said. They were a special bikini-style ‘tucking underwear’ that were meant for hiding the penis, used commonly by trans women, cosplayers, and drag performers; none of Danny’s usual would have worked with the cheerleading skirt, as the briefs sat too high and although the boxers could be pushed down enough they were too long in the other direction. These were also the same color orange as parts of the cheerleading uniforms, as the school colors were orange and white. “Besides, it’s not like anyone’s going to see them,” Danny pointed out.

“Uh, yeah, they will,” Star said. “These skirts are not long enough to prevent that; the instant you bend over…”

“Then isn’t simpler better?” Danny challenged. “So people don’t get distracted by the underwear and try to go further? I already had one of those guys try to grab my ass earlier!”

Star frowned and her look darkened. “He did, huh?”

“I didn’t mind!” Danny hurriedly said.

“Doesn’t matter; he signed a contract saying that was off limits,” Star asserted. “We need to firm on this, show people we aren’t joking about the terms. It was the larger one, right?” she asked, and Danny nodded. “Yeah, he’s so blacklisted now. Anyway—”

The shed door opened once again.

“Scarlet Letter! Daniel, put some clothes on!” Lancer declared.

Danny scrambled to quickly do so, which was pretty easy as it was just jeans and a t-shirt. He was unsure where his shoes went though…

Lancer continued, “Star, I am very disappointed at you; the other cheerleaders are already gathering on the field! This is not the time to be hooking up!”

“We’re not—” both teens began.

“Detention, the both of you, tomorrow. Now, out of the shed!”

“Yes, sir,” both Star and Danny said, hurrying out.

Or, Star did; Danny stopped at the door. “Wait a second, Lancer knows,” he said aloud to himself, then instead of leaving transformed into Phantom, eliciting a surprised gasp from Lancer. Danny turned and gave the man a fanged grin, then flew off, leaving intangibly through the ceiling.

Chapter Text

The following week, on Friday roughly ten minutes after school ended, Danny found himself in the principal’s office along with Ember, Paulina, and Star, seated in a hard foldable metal chair and facing Principal Ishiyama and Vice Principal Lancer.

Star and Paulina were in their cheerleading uniforms, having just been about to start practice. Ember wore a black wig which was in a long side braid that snaked around her shoulder, and she was just wearing a black MCR t-shirt and jeans—after all, the sexy dress was part of the ‘costume package’, but she couldn’t wear her regular outfit in the school unless she wanted to be found out (though some students had guessed her true identity, the guise was that she was a new student, which most of them seemed to believe, even the teachers—they all assumed she just happened to not be in their classes).

Danny, however, was incredibly embarrassed; he wore a small sleeveless low-cut crop top that showed his stomach along with tastefully ripped black lace stockings and a knee-length black pleated skirt that hung low on his hips, finished with a black leather collar, wristlets, and heeled boots all with silver spikes. Danny had been heading to the bathroom to change out of it, walking down the hallway with Ember, when Lancer found them.

All their parents or guardians had just arrived, except Ember’s of course—she was a full ghost, after all, her parents long gone. Thankfully Lancer and Ishiyama had not revealed either her or Danny’s ghostly status, and were willing to pretend they were both human (they told the students this before their parents arrived).

Star’s guardian was Lance Thunder, local Ghost Watch newscaster—he was her uncle, registered as her temporary guardian as her parents were actors who were currently in New Zealand filming something. Paulina’s, of course, was the big burly man Danny had met a couple years earlier, when he tried taking Paulina to the school dance, who was apparently named Alfonzo, aka Al; this time he wore a business suit. He was eying Danny with a very judgemental expression. Paulina only lived with him, and no one knew what happened to her mother—she was very tight-lipped about that. Both of Danny’s parents were there.

There was a couch and armchair in Ishiyama’s office; Jack and Maddie took up all of the former while Al, also large enough to require a bigger seat to be comfortable, sat in the armchair. Everyone else sat in metal foldable chairs, except Lancer and Ishiyama, who were standing in front of the group, undoubtedly to assert authority.

“So, what’s this about?” Jack asked, looking expectedly nervous given he’d been called down to the school on an ‘urgent matter’ related to his son. Neither parent had yet mentioned Danny’s unusual outfit choice, though he knew they definitely had to be wondering about it.

Lancer sighed with exasperation, then pulled another metal chair to him and sat down. Ishiyama did the same. Lancer put his elbows on his knees and steepled his hands. “I’m not entirely sure how to say this, but… Well. These four seem to have started a very shady business that they have been propagating on school grounds. Frankly, we are unsure how to handle this; as the students very adamantly pointed out to us, there are technically no school rules against it, and technically it does seem to be at least semi-legal, but…”

“Perhaps this ‘menu’ will make things clearer,” Ishiyama said, passing each parent a trifold pamphlet, Maddie and Jack sharing one, the cover of which was simply pure black with a picture of cartoon bloody fangs that Star had drawn; one looked legit, printed using a laser printer on the fancier thick paper Paulina had bought, whereas the other two were obvious ink printer photocopies on the thin school paper.

Danny winced. So, they’d found the pricing guide, which they’d labelled a ‘menu’. That… wasn’t good at all.

“‘Vampires for Hire: Services Offered’?” Maddie read upon fully opening the pamphlet, raising an eyebrow. “‘$120 for full package, not including cost of food and extra fees, or a-la-carte options…”

“It seems they are taking advantage of the current popularity of supernatural romance novels,” Lancer said dryly, relaxing his arms but still with his elbows on his knees. He looked incredibly tired.

Al read some of it. “‘$50, plus additional cost of food and other fees, for a date; $20 for a make-out session; $20 for a ‘chase’, whatever that means; $20 for ‘costume of choice’’… This sounds like some sort of escort service!”

“Well, until you get to the next page, labelled ‘biting services,” Lance said, looking disturbed.

Jack read that. “$30 for a ‘basic bite’? $40 for a ‘deep bite’? And $60 for… suffering spooks!”

“‘Full package includes date, make-out session, costume of choice, and bite of choice’,” Maddie read. “$10 discount per additional bite or make-out purchased during same session.”

“‘For additional details and scheduling, including group discounts and custom packages, contact Paulina’, hm?” Al growled, sending a glare at his daughter.

“And ‘for a costume catalog, contact Star’,” Lance finished reading, sending a disappointed frown to his niece.

“Oh, there’s another page,” Jack noted. “On the trifold segment.”

“‘Roleplay services available upon request’,” Al read. “‘You tell us which vampire book, movie, or tv scene you want to live, and we’ll fulfil that fantasy (nothing above PG-13); contact Star for details and pricing options. (Disclaimer: actors are amateurs)’.”

“I mean, that part seems relatively tame,” Lance noted.

“So, why’s Danny here, then…?” Jack asked nervously. “And that girl, er…”

“Amber,” Ember told him.

“Jack, both of them have fangs,” Maddie pointed out. “And Danny’s obviously in some sort of costume. Clearly they’re the ‘vampires’ this service offers.”

“Danno, is this true?” Jack asked Danny, looking entirely out of his element. “Are you actually… doing these things?”

Danny responded by blushing and looking away.

“But, why?” Maddie asked, obviously baffled by her son’s behavior.

“People are willing to pay,” Danny muttered, looking at the floor.

A lot more people than expected, in fact! There had been twelve students that went for the deep bite, an even split between wanting Ember and Danny, eight of which proceeded to the blood drinking, and at least thirty went for the smaller bite (a pinprock of blood, but not requiring a band-aid) and makeout session, many opting for the date and a costume as well (a surprising amount wanted to see Danny cross-dress—Star’s idea, and an extra $20). A number of them paid for more than one bite in different places, or both Ember and Danny together; some went on dates with both at once or double-dates, to which they negotiated small discounts for. One of them paid an extra fifty bucks to see Ember and Danny vigorously make out with each other before simultaneously biting him (including the blood drinking; Danny, to his embarrassment, found that encounter incredibly fun).

The additional roleplay service was popular too; a lot of people wanted various scenes from ‘Twilight’ or ‘New Moon’, but some went for more obscure things. Luckily, since Danny was horrible at memorizing lines, Star had come up with the idea of using earbuds to dictate the lines, which made Danny feel a little like a secret agent. It too was a lot more fun than Danny had anticipated. So was the chasing—a fair number had paid for Danny or Ember to basically ‘hunt’ them, which had been more fun than Danny had anticipated too.

“People are paying you to… to drink their blood?” Jack asked, looking like he was sincerely hoping Danny would say ‘no’.

Danny shrugged, still unable to look his parents in the eyes.

“Whose idea was this?” Ishiyama asked tiredly.

None of the students or Ember said anything.

“Do we have detention?” Star asked. “Becuse Paulina and I have cheerleading…”

“Technically it’s perfectly legal to sell these services, and it’s not against school rules either,” Paulina said. “We checked.”

“Only because no one ever imagined this would be an issue,” Lancer grumbled, then sighed and said, “Unfortunately, you are correct, although I assure you the school rules will definitely be modified after this.”

“Which is why we are delegating any punishment to your parents’ jurisdiction,” Ishiyama told the students.

Star turned to Lance and asked, “In that case can I go to cheerleading now?”

Lance sighed. “Only because I have to get back to work—but we will talk about this later, young lady!” he asserted.

Star nodded quickly. “Understood,” she said, then nearly ran out the door.

Ember followed too, doing her best to walk, which was difficult considering she usually floated, though she’d gotten better with that over the past couple weeks.

Paulina looked at her dad expectantly.

“Go,” Al grumbled tiredly.

“Thanks, Daddy!” Paulina said, giving her dad a quick kiss on the cheek.

“But we will be talking about appropriate business dealings!” Al called after his daughter as she ran out too. He stood. “Speaking of, I have a meeting to get to,” he said, giving a nod to Ishiyama and Lancer, then left too, along with Lance.

Danny stood up, grabbed his backpack (he’d been the only one with one, as Paulina and Star had been called in from cheerleading practice), and slowly inched towards the door. “I’ll, er, just go too, then…”

Maddie abruptly stood up, ‘menu’ scrunching in her hand as she put her fists on her hips and said, “Oh no you don’t, mister! We’re headed straight home so we can talk more about this!” She turned to Ishiyama and Lancer, who had also stood. “Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We will address this appropriately,” she told them, making it clear she didn’t agree with the other parents’ more casual approach. She walked towards Danny and grabbed him by the upper arm to lead him out the door.

A short drive later found Danny sitting on the couch in the living room at home. Jazz, who came back home from college for her three-day weekends, sat in an armchair with a book, where she’d been when they got home a minute prior, looking completely baffled; she hadn’t been informed yet of what was going on, and appeared as though she was now reevaluating Danny’s entire psyche upon seeing him in gothic drag.

Danny’s arms were crossed and he glared at his parents, who were both standing and looking at him sternly, apparently unsure where to begin with this.

“Mom? Dad? What’s going on?” Jazz asked.

Maddie handed Jazz the flyer; her eyes widened as she read it.

“Everything I did is legal,” Danny began, when it became evident no one wanted to start.

“It’s not a matter of legality,” Maddie said, arms also crossed, as were her husband’s. “It’s dangerous!”

“Yeah! A boy your age shouldn’t be doing fetish work for money,” Jack said sternly, then winced at his words, face looking as if disbelieving that he’d ever have to say something like that.

“That makes it sound worse than it was,” Danny argued. “It’s not that bad.”

“You were the ‘vampire’?” Jazz asked curiously.

“Well, I’m certainly not wearing this for fun,” Danny said, gesturing at the outfit, even though he secretly did find it fun. Pretty much the whole school, well the student population that is, knew about the ‘Vampires for Hire’ business and that Danny cross-dressed for it, to the point that after the first week Danny no longer bothered to hide his ‘costumes’, hence walking down the hallway in it earlier.

“And it is bad!” Jack asserted.

“Why?” Danny challenged, feeling unruly. “Again, it’s not illegal. It’s made me a lot of money. And it’s mostly fun!” Sometimes the clients weren’t the greatest, but for the most part it was enjoyable, and gave him a lovely adrenaline rush.

“It’s basically sex work!”

“But it’s not.”

“Not yet, but what about when people start asking for more, offering more money to go further than this menu?”

“I’ve always said ‘no’ to that, don’t worry,” Danny said, then realized that had definitely been the wrong answer.

“People already asked you to have sex with them?!” Maddie asked with clear horror.

“No, not that far!” Danny denied, waving his hands, even though that wasn’t quite true. “Just, like… Well, not that. And if they had asked for that I would have said no too. I have some boundaries, sheesh!”

“‘Some’,” Jazz quoted back.

“I’m still a virgin, don’t worry,” Danny grumbled, blushing.

“Well that’s something at least,” Maddie muttered, then sighed. “Right. Well, I guess making out and dates aren’t technically that bad, but… well, we need to get back to the… biting… part of that menu.”

“Why? The ecto-contamination gave me fangs, so why not use them?”

“Because it’s incredibly dangerous, for you and them!” Jack proclaimed.

“But, the contamination also makes my teeth bacteria-free,” Danny pointed out. “I haven’t needed a dentist since they grew in!” Mostly because his teeth could just heal themselves. “Also, we tested that after I bit Dash, remember?” He pointed out; the school had called his parents about that, as even though Dash and him had both managed to keep it mostly secret the nurse still had to dress the wound and had been contractually obligated to contact Lancer. “So, I won’t infect anyone.”

“It’s not just about the teeth bacteria, it’s about the blood itself!” Maddie told him. “Did you even think to ask the students if they had any communicable blood diseases, let alone have them tested?”

“...No,” Danny said, realizing that he couldn’t simply tell them that that didn’t matter either because his blood was mostly ectoplasm at this point—Danny’s parents didn’t know that, and they couldn’t find out, because the ecto-contamination excuse could only work to a point, and Danny was already pushing it with what he blamed it on. “I’m sure it’ll be fine though.”

Maddie put her hand on her face. “We have to get you tested.”

“What! No, you can’t!” Danny told her.

Jazz caught on and jumped up. “No, Mom’s right,” she said. “Come on, I’ll take you right now so you’re not embarrassed to be going into such a place with your parents.” She grabbed Danny’s forearm and tugged him up off the couch; the two were out the door before their parents could react.

Danny felt mental whiplash as he was practically tossed into Jazz’s car, feeling a little deja-vu from when Star similarly dragged him into a car.

Once Jazz got in and began driving, Danny asked, “We’re not actually going to a clinic, are we?”

“Of course not,” Jazz said. “Call Sam and Tucker, and tell them to meet us at Nasty Burger; we’ve got some tests to fake.”

“Told you it was a bad idea,” Tucker said smugly after Danny and Jazz, seated at a booth at Nasty Burger with food in front of them, filled him and Sam in on the situation.

“I know, I know,” Danny said with a groan; he was still wearing the gothic outfit, skirt included. They’d reminded him multiple times that the vampire business was going to cause him trouble someday.

“Do you really?” Tucker said. “Because I have a feeling this is gonna happen again.”

“It won’t,” Danny insisted. “I bet they’re gonna make me clean the lab as punishment this time; if I get caught again it’ll probably be the whole house…”

“I meant the biting-for-profit thing, not the getting caught thing,” Tucker said dryly.

“Oh. Well, that won’t happen either,” Danny lied, even though he fully intended to continue—he and the others involved just had to be more secretive this time.

“Well, I for one am fine with you continuing,” Sam said. “Vampires dating for profit is so goth.”

“Most are fans of the romance books, not goths,” Danny said with mild amusement.

“And Danny will not be continuing this,” Jazz asserted, reminding the three that she was there too.

“Yeah, yeah,” Danny said, now getting irritated. “Anyway, Tucker, can you—”

“Already on it,” Tucker said, PDA out and typing away at it. He laughed. “You know, of all the documents I would ever have to fake, I never expected an STD test to be one of those.”

“STD test?” Danny asked. “I thought it was for blood stuff! I did not have sex, I swear!”

“Some of them can be transferred through blood as well,” Sam informed him. “The biggest being HIV—did you not pay attention in sex ed class?”

Danny shrugged. “Not really. Not like it matters.”

“Doesn’t matter? Why, are you gay?” Tucker asked bluntly; a logical conclusion, considering the school only covered straight stuff. “If so, the library—”

“No, I’m not gay!” Danny asserted. Then paused. “Well, maybe bi… yeah, definitely bi.” He was quickly discovering that with every male client. “I mean, because my ectoplasm protects me from human diseases.”

“Well, you at least paid attention to the other safety stuff, right?” Jazz asked. “For, you know, preventing—”

“Also irrelevant,” Danny said, slightly awkwardly.

“But, if you ever do it with a girl—” Tucker began.

Danny cut him off. “Still irrelevant. It’s a halfa thing.” He was trying to imply it without outright saying it.

“A halfa thing?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, like usually happens with hybrids? Ligers, mules, etc.?”

“Oh,” Sam said, catching on, looking unsure how to address that revelation.

“I’m still confused,” Tucker said.

Danny sighed. “Why do you think Vlad was trying so hard to make me his heir, then cloned me, and then adopted my dark future self, instead of just trying to make a kid the usual way?”

“I assumed because he wanted your mom,” Tucker said. “I dunno why else he wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I get it,” Jazz said. “You know this for sure? Frostbite confirmed it?”

“Yup,” Danny said.

“Please, someone fill in those of us who aren’t versed in hybrid animals or Vlad’s psychology,” Tucker begged.

Danny thought of a good Tucker-specific analogy. “Okay, you know the new Black Widow comic series?”

“Yeah, what about it?” Tucker asked.

“You read it right?”

“Of course.”

“Do you remember what… I think it was issue 5, said about what the Red Room’s serum did to the Black Widows?”

“It increased the immune system, increased healing factor, slowed aging—”

“No, the ‘side effect’,” Danny interjected.

“The side eff—oh.”

“Yup. My warped DNA means I’m incompatible with both humans and ghosts,” Danny clarified. Theoretically another halfa would work, but there was currently only one option for that, which Danny definitely did not ever want to do anything like that with given she was basically his daughter/sister (or whatever a clone could be considered). “So, no need to worry about possible babies.”

“Blunt,” Sam said.

“Done!” Tucker suddenly said, waving around his PDA, which he’d been working on the entire conversation. “There is now one clean test form in the clinic’s system for Danny Fenton. Do you want it emailed or printed?”

“Parents would probably prefer printed,” Danny said.

“They need to get with the times,” Tucker lamented. “Well, these tests tend to take a week to process, according to the clinic’s website, so I’ll print a copy when I get home and date it for then. Make sure to remember to give it to them next week, not tomorrow!”

“Don’t give it to me in school,” Danny warned. “I do not want anyone seeing it and thinking the worst.”

“Or, just tell them it’s a precaution,” Sam pointed out. “Hookers do that—I saw it on a TV documentary!” she quickly clarified upon the other three’s concerned looks.

“Why were you watching a documentary about that?” Danny couldn’t help but wonder.

“I dunno, it came on TV after the news, and I was curious,” Sam said with a shrug. “So, yeah, just say the test was a precaution.”

“Not really the issue though,” Danny said. “More like, I’m not going that far with anyone, and I don’t want people thinking I’m willing to. The business is explicitly nothing beyond second base, and anyone who asks is blacklisted.”

“Then just explain your parents made you upon discovering the blood drinking thing,” Tucker reasoned. “And you probably should have anyone wanting it tested too just in case?”

“And then they think I’m human. They want a vampire, not human. Vampires shouldn’t need to worry about it—which, I don’t.”

“Oh, please, most of them have to realize it’s just the ecto-contamination,” Sam said with an eye roll. “Our classmates aren’t that stupid. I bet some even think you’ll a full ghost by now.”

“I dunno,” Tucker said contemplatively. “Like, if they can all write off ‘ecto-contamination’ as a reason for not breathing, why wouldn’t they be willing to believe he’s an actual vampire?”

“Wait, they all know I don’t need to breathe?” Danny said, surprised. He knew Dash and Kwan had noticed, and of course Paulina and Star knew, but the whole school?

“Well, duh. It’s not very subtle! You forget to, like, 90% of the time,” Sam pointed out.

“Yeah, dude, there’s even a betting pool going for ‘how long until Fenton remembers humans need to breathe’,” Tucker informed Danny. “And yes, that’s the wording.”

“Oh,” Danny said, then realized something. “Wait, if there’s a betting pool going, do you think—”

“You are NOT rigging a betting pool,” Jazz said firmly. “This biting thing you’re doing—which you won’t be continuing—might not explicitly be illegal, but both rigging bets and illegal betting are.”

“Ugh, fine,” Danny said, although he saw the mischievous look in Tucker’s eye indicating that that little discussion was not yet over.

Chapter Text

On a Thursday night a couple weeks later, once Danny was no longer grounded and had finished doing a full clean of the lab and ops center, Danny found himself at Dash’s house, along with ‘Amber’, for a ‘private party’ as the jock’s parents were out of town for a few days.

“Surprised you both agreed to this,” Dash commented as he led them to the living room, where a dozen other people were, not including Paulina and Star, who had arranged this. All were either football players or cheerleaders; Danny only recalled the names of Kwan, Dale, Brittany, Ashley, and Tiffanie.

“Yeah, well, we can’t do it at school anymore, and we are getting $2.7k each for this,” Danny pointed out. “That’s after the commission to Star and Paulina; they each get 10%,” Danny explained, when Dash looked a little confused. The fee the group paid was $500 per person for a total of $6000.

“Even though they’re participating?” Dash questioned.

Danny shrugged. “Usually they get 15% each.” As they reached the group,
Paulina and Star hurried to them, each giving both Ember and Danny a kiss on the lips in greeting, in part to excite the group.

“So, how are we doing this?” Danny asked with a fanged grin, eagerly anticipating getting some blood after going two full weeks without; his mood had dropped significantly during those two weeks, and Danny desperately wanted some relief from that without involving potential ghost-fighting injuries (he was definitely starting to think Jazz was right about him having some form of depression).

“All are the new ‘unlimited package’, right?” Ember confirmed. “Two hours’ worth?”

“Oh yeah,” Paulina practically purred.

Danny’s core pulsed slightly with nerves and excitement. The ‘unlimited’ meant that they would be making out and biting as much as the clients wanted rather than a per-item price; they’d be letting those there negotiate the logistics of who got who and when, as it was a special group price.

“So, when can we start?” Dash asked eagerly.

Ember stepped over to him. “As soon as this comes off,” she purred, tugging his shirt up over his head; part of the agreement was they’d all be shirtless for easy access. Ember immediately grabbed Dash’s shoulders and pulled him up to pierce her fangs into his neck, and he gasped.

“Sh-shit,” Dash stuttered, pupils blown as Ember stepped back too. “That was…”

“That was the warm-up,” Ember told him in a husky voice.

“Two at once are permitted too, right?” Ashley asked.

“Oh, definitely,” Danny said with a grin, then turned to Paulina and asked, “Want us to give them a demonstration?”

“Oooh, please,” Paulina purred.

Danny grabbed Paulina’s arm, tugging her over and proceeded to capture her lips in a deep kiss, arms holding her upper arms. Ember approached from the back and grabbed Paulina’s waist, touching the skin as the girl wore a crop top. Paulina moaned and arched a little at the cold touch.

Danny then withdrew from Paulina’s mouth, licking her lips and then trailing small kisses down her cheek; she tried to instinctually move her neck to better expose the side of it, but instead Danny reached a hand up to stop her from doing that; instead of the crook of her neck, Danny stopped slightly below it, and then bit into her neck.

Paulina gasped and practically melted, especially when Ember bit down on the other shoulder while pressing into Paulina, sandwiching her between the two. As they simultaneously bit down harder, Paulina moaned again; some of those from the party group wolf-whistled.

Danny wanted to drink more deeply, but knowing that they’d been doing this for hours he only took a small sip before stepping back and licking his lips; Paulina giggled in response, then Ember pulled her down into a heated kiss too, after which Paulina had a dreamy look on her face—she’d given blanket permission for anything like that beforehand, as had the whole group.

Ember grinned. “Couldn’t help it; you’re such a pretty girl,” she cooed, and Paulina gave a happy smile at the praise. Ember then yelled at the rest of the group. “Come on, you know the deal! Shirt’s off; we’re not biting through clothes!”

“What about you two?” Kwan asked as he complied.

Danny and Ember both grinned. They were wearing sweatpants and baggy t-shirts; they put on a little strip show, each posing sexually and making out with each other while they removed first each others’ shirts and then each others’ sweatpants, eventually
revealing matching outfits: black glitter hot pants and black glitter tube tops with a bedazzled silver star on the chest. Both also had, at request of the partygoers, metal collars with a loop to grab; they also wore matching wrist and ankle cuffs, and their feet were bare (the house itself had a no-shoes policy, and socks didn’t go with their outfits well)—both toenails and fingernails were painted black to complete the look.

Brittany moaned as she removed her shirt, revealing a strapless bra (all girls were wearing such, so the two biting them would have unrestrained access). “Seriously? Do you know how impossible it’s gonna be to resist trying to touch your—”

“Brittany!” Paulina said sharply. “You know the rules.”

The girl sighed. “I know, I know. Butt and boobs over the clothes only is fine, under the clothes and anywhere on the crotch area, above or below clothes, isn’t.”

Danny had a feeling he himself was going to have a tough time resisting too; the pants he was wearing were ones specially designed for dancers, so wouldn’t show anything, but some of the guys already had small tents he would have to ignore. This whole vampire service had led Danny to realize that he, like Ember, he was undoubtedly bisexual—after all, not only girls had opted for the male vampire experience. Dash had even paid to have Danny’s teeth in his neck at one point, albeit with Ember tag-teaming.

Danny looked over the group, letting his face fall into a seductive expression as he licked his fangs, selling the experience (and more excited than he’d like to admit about being able to drink blood again). “So, who’s first?”

“Okay, to be fair, I didn’t know that the stupid mayor got legislation pushed through yesterday to make biting for profit illegal,” Danny said as his father, arms crossed and glaring, stood in front of the cell of the town jail that Danny was seated in, an officer standing beside Jack. A few others from the party were in the cell with him, including Dash, still waiting for their own parents to pick them up (the law went both ways); everyone had been silent while waiting though.

An hour into the ‘party’, the police had gotten a call from a ‘concerned neighbor’ (those townhouse walls were thinner than expected!) and when the police realized what was happening, well, the whole party ended up arrested—first they assumed it was full-out prostitution, and the teens all thought things would be fine if they informed them it was just biting, only for the officers to inform them of that stupid new town-level law. Apparently, some ‘concerned parents’ had heard about what was going on in the school after noticing bites on their kids, and although Ishiyama issued a public statement assuring them the issue was taken care of the parents still sent a petition to the mayor about it (Sam’s parents leading that) to get the law passed.

“Well kid, you’re lucky the prosecutor is soft on kids and decided not to pursue charges given this is a first-time offense and you’re a minor,” the officer said as he unlocked the cell. “Don’t do it again.”

Danny sighed as he stood up and headed to the cell door. “Okay, okay,” he said; he’d just have to be more careful next time (he vaguely wondered if he should be concerned with how much he liked the taste of blood and wanted more; it made his core buzz so nicely! And, yeah, he definitely did recognize now that he was definitely using adrenaline as a coping method). Also he was pretty sure it was Paulina’s involvement that played a bigger role in getting them off scot-free rather than the prosecutor being soft.

“That doesn’t sound like you plan to stop,” Jack said disapprovingly as he handed Danny a zipper sweatshirt—the arresting officers hadn’t given anyone a chance to change, so Danny was still in the hot pants and tube top.

Danny winced. “Sorry. I won’t do it anymore, I swear,” he lied as he pulled on the slightly-oversized blue sweatshirt—it seemed his father had grabbed one of Jazz’s. He left it open; it was chilly out, and Danny liked the cold on his skin, having an ice core.

“We’ll be watching you, kid,” the officer said sternly. “And that girl; if you see her, let her know that next time she does something, we won’t be letting her get away, however she managed to sneak out of the car and cuffs.”

“Understood,” Danny said, honestly surprised they still didn’t realize Ember was a ghost, especially since she actually did have the glow of one. He was now pretty sure that, like Sam had suggested, most of the school did not believe they were true vampires, well aware that Danny’s issue was ‘ecto-contamination’ and ‘Amber’ was actually Ember (some had even called her that during sessions). Well, at least they were aware of Ember’s situation; some definitely still wholeheartedly believed Danny was a true vampire… Which, Danny supposed, he technically was, given the legend arose from misinterpreting ghosts.

“Zipper that up; it’s cold outside,” Jack instructed before they left the precinct.

Danny looked down at himself and determined, “If I do that, it’ll look like I’m not wearing pants.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Those are supposed to be pants?”

“Yes?”

“Well, zipper it anyway; I don’t want you parading around in public wearing that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you look like a hooker! I don’t want people trying to solicit you or something! And take those cuffs off too, they look like something found at a sex shop.”

Danny didn’t reply to that.

“Suffering spooks; they are from a sex shop, aren’t they? Danny!”

“I wasn’t the one who bought them!” Danny said hurriedly. Technically, Ember stole them. Danny vaguely noted that he probably should be more concerned about that; then again, the shops in the area were all 21+, so it wasn’t like anyone involved could otherwise get them.

Jack sighed. “Just, take them off.”

Danny rolled his eyes and moved to take the collar off, then paused as he realized something. “I can’t,” he said.

“You—Jesus, Danny, don’t tell me it’s locked on!”

“Uh. Technically no? But it uses a magnetic pin to make it look solid, and I don’t have a magnet to remove it…” Danny had phased them on, but he couldn’t exactly remove them that way in front of his dad.

Jack sighed and closed his eyes, looking like he wanted to be dealing with anything but this at the moment. “Let’s just go,” he decided.

As predicted, Maddie gasped loudly when Danny sheepishly followed Jack through the door into the house. Danny winced; he should not have left the sweatshirt open.

“Just what on earth are you wearing, young man!?” Maddie exclaimed, fists on her hips and glaring angrily.

“I just got back from jail, and that’s your first question? Not why I was there?” Danny couldn’t help but snarkily ask. He was pretty sure the cops didn’t tell his parents why he was there when they called them to pick him up.

“Fine, then: why were you there?”

“Did you hear about the new legislation the mayor pushed through, the one that the parents signed a petition for?”

Maddie narrowed her eyes. “Yes. We signed it.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the reason.”

“Danny!” came a shout from the stairway, then footsteps, then Danny’s face was covered in red hair and two arms were wrapped around him.

“Hi, Jazz,” Danny said, feeling a little guilty about worrying his sister; she only did this if she was really freaking out. Any adrenaline from earlier had faded, replaced with frustration and a pit of emptiness that Danny tried to push away.

Jazz backed up, leaving her hands on Danny’s shoulder. “I was so worried! Are you okay? Are you hurt? The police called at 930pm and said that a parent had to pick you up! Please tell me you just witnessed something or something, and weren’t the victim…”

“Oh. Um. Actually, I was the culprit,” Danny told her. “Dad had to bail me out.”

“What!?”

“They dropped charges,” Jack hurriedly clarified. “There was no actual bail.”

“But, what did you do?!” Jazz asked frantically.

“Um. Well, there was a party—” Danny began.

“Party?” Jazz interjected, tensing. “Danny! Were you drinking!? Or, was it drugs? Please tell me it wasn’t drugs!”

“Jazz, stop!” Danny shouted. “It wasn’t drinking or drugs, sheesh. It was just—well, um…”

Jazz then looked up and down Danny, noting his outfit. “Oh my god. Danny, were you arrested for prostitution!?”

“No!” Danny protested. “Well, not technically? Um. I actually forget what they called it, but I don’t think it was that. Either way there was no actual sex involved! The contract said nothing past second base.”

“Second base?! …Wait, is this a continuation of the vampire thing? You just just got un-grounded from that!”

“...Yeah.”

“So let me get this straight: you get in trouble, you get grounded, and literally the first day you’re ungrounded you immediately go out and do the same thing?!”

“Uh. Yeah basically.”

“No, not basically,” Jack interjected. “The cops there said there were twelve people there you and that girl were ‘servicing’!”

“14,” Danny corrected without thinking.

“Danny!” Maddie chided. “What were you thinking!?”

“...I was thinking that $2700 is a lot of money?” Danny tried; well, $1350 now, given that half was going to be refunded as the contract was for 2 hours but they only got through 1—thankfully Paulina had included a clause for interruptions that specified that it would be prorated, not entirely refunded, based on time already done.

“The money doesn’t matter,” Madie said. “You are a 16-year-old boy! You should not be selling your body for money!”

“I wasn’t—okay I kinda was, but like I just said, there was nothing beyond second base! Genitals were off limits! I at least have some sense. Also, before you ask, yes, we did ask them all to get tested, so I don’t have to go back to that clinic again!”

“Well at least that’s something,” Jack grumbled.

Jazz, hands still on Danny’s shoulders, sighed. “Danny. I know you’re at that age where you want to rebel and challenge social norms, but this is not the way to do it.”

“What? No, this isn’t rebelling,” Danny said. “It really did just start as a fun way to make money, seriously—and yes, I said fun. I like doing this. Seriously, if I wanted to rebel, I could do so much worse!”

“That’s not reassuring!”

“Whatever,” Danny said, backing up so Jazz’s arms finally dropped. He shrugged off the sweatshirt and put it back on the wall hanger by the door, which was in reach of him. “So, what’s my punishment? More grounding?”

“That, and all the chores we never get around to doing, like washing the GAV and windows and whatever else we can think of,” Maddie said. “And we will think of things! Now, go to bed—you do still have school in the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Danny said, then slogged up the steps, his sister following him.

Thanks to Danny’s enhanced ghost hearing, he heard his dad quietly ask his mom, “Should we be giving him The Talk soon?”

“Doesn’t the school cover that?” Maddie asked.

“Yeah, but you saw those cuffs; I don’t think the school gets as detailed as he might need…”

Danny felt himself vigorously blushing as he entered his room; he removed the cuffs and collar via using intangibility, then turned to his sister, who had followed him in and closed the door behind her. “Jazz, I really am okay,” he promised her. “It’s not some sort of rebellious breakdown or something; it really is just a fun way I found to make money.”

“It’s not about that,” Jazz said. “I read some ecto-ology books about ghosts and legends. I know that vampire legends came from ghosts, and that they can gain energy from drinking blood. That was a part of this, wasn’t it?”

Danny winced. “Heh. Uh, yeah, it might have been a small part of that,” he admitted. “Um. It’s kinda really tasty?”

“That’s it? Just tasty? It’s not that you’re not getting enough energy from ectoplasm?”

“What? Oh! No, that’s not it,” Danny said with a laugh, realizing why his sister was so worried. “No, there’s more than plenty of ambient ectoplasm around here. I’m not drinking blood because of that. It’s just like…” He tried to think of a dessert Jazz really enjoyed, then settled on, “Mint chocolate-chip ice cream! You don’t really need to eat it, but if someone offered you a bowl, you wouldn’t just turn it down, would you?”

“Huh. I suppose that’s true,” Jazz said. “Assuming I knew it wasn’t poisoned.”

“And how, exactly, could blood poison me?” Danny asked skeptically, wondering if Jazz knew something.

Jazz sighed. “I was trying to make a joke… I know that your ectoplasm protects you. Anyway… You sure you’re okay? You weren’t pressured into this, and you really do enjoy it?”

“Yes, Jazz, like I’ve said multiple times already, yes,” Danny promised her. “It makes me feel really good.”

“Then…” Jazz hesitated for a moment, then said with determination, “Then I support you in this, little brother.”

“What?” Danny asked, surprised.

“I support you in this. If this is what you want to do, then do it.”

“Oh. Okay. But… I probably won’t anymore,” Danny said reluctantly. “You know, since it’s illegal now.”

“Only in Amity Park,” Jazz pointed out. “If we, say, leave the city limits and go to the woods, that’s technically public national forestland, and I highly doubt a law like this will ever end up happening on a national level. There’s that camping area teens use to party; I could drive people.”

Danny stared at his sister for a moment before determining that yes, she was serious. “Well, if you’re sure,” he decided. “Talk to Paulina; she manages logistics.”

“You have a pimp?!”

“She’s not a pimp! Sheesh!” Danny said, maybe a bit too loudly. “Besides, isn’t the term ‘madam’ for a female?”

“Why do you know that?!”

“I’m 16! A junior in high school! That’s how I know that!”

Jazz winced. “Right. Sorry, little brother; sometimes I forget you’re growing up.”

Danny wilted at that. “Sorry; I didn’t mean to yell either. I’m just a little high-strung right now… But, now that you mention growing up, I guess there is something I need to tell you…”

“Oh my god. Are you not a virgin after all!?”

“That’s not it!” Danny asserted. “I’m still perfectly a virgin, thank-you-very-much. No, it’s… I saw Frostbite the other day, and—”

“Oh my gosh, are you going to die? Are halfas not stable after all!?”

“Jazz, be quiet! No, I’m not going to die—the opposite, actually.” Danny opted not to correct Jazz on the terminology technically being ‘fade’, not ‘die’.

“The opposite?” Jazz asked, looking slightly confused, then her eyes widened in realization. “Oooooh. Halfas get that part of ghost-ness.”

“Well, ones that are 85% ghost do,” Danny clarified. “I dunno about Vlad or Danielle.”

“What? 85%? Danny, what are you talking about?”

Danny sighed. “Yeah, so you know how I told you I was worried I might be more ghost than human? Frostbite confirmed that too. Surprise?”

Jazz was quiet for a moment, processing that. “Not as surprised as expected,” she decided. “On either front… How’d I not notice so much?”

“Really?”

“Mhm… Honestly, I think I’m still in shock from my little brother getting arrested by the cops. It’ll probably all hit me harder tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

“Sam? Tucker? Why are you two here?” Danny asked in mild confusion, approaching them as they entered the firelit clearing in the woods. “If you wanted me or Ember to bite you, you could’ve just asked? No need to pay.”

“I’m just here for the general party aspect,” Tucker said, holding up his wrist, which had a white paper bracelet with nothing on it.

“Still think you should have gotten at least something,” Sam said, holding up her own wrist, which had multiple different stamps on it. The idea was that people would pre-pay for things at the entrance, and the stamps would indicate what; once fulfilled the ‘vampire’ would use a marker to check it off. There were also different colored bracelets to indicate ‘unlimited’ packages of different services; part of that was that ‘vampires’ could approach whenever, whereas the white bracelets the humans had to request first. There was also an additional bracelet to indicate the gender of vampire desired; Sam’s was pink, indicating girls only, whereas Tucker had none because he apparently didn’t want anything.

“Nah; you’re the one who wanted to actually go, I’m just curious,” Tucker said.

“Sam’s right though,” Danny said. “It’s $50 just for entry, doesn’t really make sense if you’re only here for the drinks.”

Tucker shrugged. “Sam paid for me,” he revealed.

“Wait, drinks?” Sam asked warily.

“Just general soda and stuff!” Danny assured her. “And lots of gatorade.”

“Why—oh,” Tucker said, paling in realization. “Right. Blood drinking.”

“Got lots of sugary snacks too,” Ember, dressed in the school’s cheerleading uniform with her black braid wig, said as she joined them. “Some of these people are a little too into getting drank from; gotta be careful, you know.”

“How many people are here?” Tucker asked, looking around.

“Uh. I think Paulina and Star capped it at 30,” Danny said, looking around. “Or maybe 35? You were on the last carload I’m pretty sure.”

“There’s more than just us as ‘vampires’,” Ember quickly assured upon seeing Sam and Tucker’s expressions. “Kitty, Johnny, Dora, Sidney, Peter, and Piper are all playing along too.” It had been incredibly easy to convince them; they all wanted to see if the rumors about blood being as good as purified ectoplasm were true.

“Peter and Piper?” Tucker asked.

“Peter Pan and Piper Pan, also known as the Pied Piper. Yes, they’re real,” Danny told Tucker. “Ghosts inspired lots of legends, not just vampires and other mythical creatures! The two are brother and sister, fraternal twins, apparently they were on a ship that went down when they were only 15, died trying to rescue the children on board that they were babysitting. They help guide child ghosts back to the Ghost Zone—you know, ones like Youngblood, who died at ages in the single digits.”

“Huh. And they both agreed to be vampires here?”

“Yup; they’re the ones wearing the 18-century poet’s shirts and slacks for those who want the more old-timey vampire experience. Johnny and Kitty are the ones all in leather with the black wigs. Sidney’s the one wearing the dracula-like outfit.” Danny assumed they both recognized Dora; she was wearing a fancier-than-usual renaissance-style dress but, like Piper and Peter, was otherwise unchanged as none of the humans knew her.

“And you both are once again in skirts and crop tops,” Tucker noted.

“Hey, it’s what sells,” Danny said, stretching his arms above his head and giving Tucker a fanged grin and wink while cocking his hip out. He wore the same black tube top from the night he’d been arrested, but instead of hot pants with it he wore the same torn leggings and skirt from when they got discovered at school, plus black leather heeled boots. He wore the metal collar and wrist cuffs with it.

Tucker’s jaw dropped. “Dude! Why is that so hot? I’m supposed to be straight!”

Sam laughed. “The beauty of these kinds of parties: whatever happens here, stays here. I’m telling you, you need to let loose!”

Danny snuck behind Tucker and grabbed his hips, floating slightly so he could whisper in his ear, “I can give you something on the house…”

Tucker stood ramrod straight and hissed, “Danny!”

Danny laughed and backed off, then felt a tug on his arm as he was jerked back to the ground. “Stay grounded,” Sam reminded him.

“Sorry,” Danny said sheepishly.

“Yeah, dipstick, if we have to, you have to too,” Ember said, referring to the fact that all the ghosts were, to sell the ‘vampire’ illusion, attempting to stay grounded for the event (with varying degrees of success).

“Hey! You two!” came a shout as Paulina stomped over, hands on her hips. “Party’s started; why aren’t you doing your jobs?”

Danny and Ember both winced and muttered, “Sorry.”

“And you say it’s not a brothel,” Sam muttered, then held out her arm and asserted. “Ember, get over here and give me what I’ve paid for!”

Ember glanced at the bracelet, then raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Drinking, huh? Well, don’t mind if I do… Got a preference where?”

“Okay, I am not watching this,” Tucker said, turning away, towards where Paulina and Danny stood.

Danny then had an idea; he looked at Paulina, glancing towards her neck and then back into her eyes. She gave a small smirk and slight nod, and Danny, whose mouth was about at her shoulder height (she was tall!), wrapped his arms around her shoulders; Paulina grasped Danny’s thighs to lift him up, allowing him to wrap his legs around her hips, putting them face-to-face. Danny half-lidded his eyes and locked lips with her, sliding his tongue across her lips.

Paulina moaned in response, and Danny’s mood surged upwards; he’d really needed this after just finishing two more weeks of being grounded! He deepened the kiss, moaning into it himself.

“Seriously?” Tucker complained, though did not stop watching as Danny and Paulina vigorously made out.

Danny then slid his tongue down Paulina’s jaw and to her neck, which she tilted to allow him better access; he teased the neck with his fangs a little, then bit down hard, eliciting a gasp from Paulina as Danny drank the blood that bubbled up.

“Shit that’s hot,” Tucker muttered, then sighed. “Okay, fine, I’ll pay for something…”

Danny gave one final lick to the wound on Paulina’s neck, and then Paulina set Danny down, upon which she slapped his butt; Danny squeaked in response and blushed. “Hey! You’ll set a bad example for everyone else,” he warned her. Danny was fine with Paulina doing that, but part of the contract for everyone else was no hitting, including butt slaps.

“Yeah, yeah; now, get to work,” Paulina ordered Danny. “Tucker, come on, let’s figure out what package you want…”

Danny eagerly obliged, eyes locking onto the nearest human with an unlimited blood-drinking wristband, eager for a taste.

After the party, Danny opted to lead the other ghosts back to the Ghost Zone himself, so he could ask about their experiences with the party and interest in doing it again, possibly every other weekend or monthly. All had been enthusiastic about it, to his delight! Paulina and Star would be polling the humans, but they all seemed very happy about the end result too from Danny’s initial observations afterwards. Jazz’s suggestion of the forest was perfect; it was close enough to the city to only be a relatively short drive, and that section of the national park was almost never patrolled since there were no official trails through it and the Park Service was so incredibly short-staffed.

Now, Danny was headed back to the portal, casually floating instead of fast-flying; it was late, but he found himself not very tired. He was in human form; he preferred it over his ghost form (sometimes he thought about changing out of that somewhat uncomfortable suit—he had no idea how his parents wore those all the time—but it was an iconic part of his hero image), and it wasn’t like any ghosts would care about his outfit.

“Little badger!”

Danny froze at the sound of the voice he hadn’t heard in months, not since the issue with the timestream that resulted in a slightly altered timeline. That ghost might be the exception.

“I have heard the strangest—what in all the Infinite Realms are you wearing!?” Plasmius declared with horror.

“Uh. Party outfit?”

“And, by the gods, are you actually flying around here in human form?!”

Danny scrunched his brow in confusion. “What? Why would that be an issue?”

Vlad stared at Danny with incredulity. “I thought halfas can’t fly in human form… And it’s unsafe to be around this much ectoplasm when in human form…”

“Why?” Danny asked, though he realized this was likely just a difference in the percent ghost, which apparently Vlad really didn’t know was a thing. “It's not like there’s any differences, other than being able to avoid the weaker ghost shields and trackers.” The gravity thing had annoyingly decided to become an issue; he could still easily activate it, but he found himself slipping sometimes, based on emotions, which hadn’t happened until recently.

Vlad stared blankly at Danny, looking like he was having some sort of internal crisis.

Danny decided to throw the man a bone; he likely was concluding Danny was 100% ghost or something. Danny could play along, give the man a scare, but Vlad had helped during the timeline incident, and Danny did not want that kind of rumor spreading (the Observants especially might freak out). So he sighed and said, “Fun fact: not all halfas are made the same—I’m a much larger percent ghost than I am human.”

“I see…” Vlad trailed, then realized that wasn’t the main thing he wanted to talk about. He recomposed himself and said, “Well, I shall look into that later. For now, we need to talk about certain rumors and that outfit.”

“What’s wrong with my outfit?” Danny whined, looking down at himself.

“You look like a sex slave.”

Danny scoffed. “Do not. I’m totally wearing normal clothes.”

“Cross-dressing isn’t appropriate for a teenager, nor are metal cuffs and collars.”

Danny rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Seriously? Get with the times, fruitloop. It was a party; it’s not like I wear this every day. Besides, people requested that I wear this stuff.” Paulina had polled the registrants about which costumes Danny and Ember should wear.

“Requested?! Daniel, what sort of things have you gotten into?” Vlad frowned. “Does this mean the rumors are true as well?”

“What rumors?”

“That you are finding humans willing to let ghosts drink their blood.”

“Oh, that. Yeah; turns out the vampire romance genre is super popular right now, and people will pay a lot of money to carry out vampire fantasies,” Danny informed Vlad.

Vlad stared at Danny for a moment, processing that.

“Yo! Fruitloop!” another voice called, and Danny tensed as the last person he wanted to see approached. “What are you doing, talking to some girl?! The game’s gonna… start… What the fuck,” the Phantom-Plasmius hybrid, who just went by Phantom, said flatly as he realized who it actually was.

Phantom had changed since getting the clone body. Similarly to how when the two ghost forms merged, which averaged their ages and looks, the clone body’s ghost form had done the same. Instead of 26 and buff, he looked about 20, and though clearly muscular he was also narrower, as well as wasn’t nearly as tall as he used to be, not quite as tall as Vlad but still definitely much taller than Danny. He still had the blue skin and fire hair though, and Danny resisted shivering; Phantom might have had a turn of heart, and Danny could sympathize with his situation and emotions, but Danny still couldn’t forgive or forget their past.

“Hi, Phantom,” Danny told Phantom.

“That’s my past; it’s James now,” Phan—James said. “James Masters.” So, Danny’s middle name combined with Vlad’s last name… that made sense, since he was technically a merge between the two.

Vlad ignored James and the exchange. “Daniel, if you needed money that badly, I could have given you some.”

Danny sighed. This again? “It’s not about the money. Blood is tasty!”

“Excuse me, what?!” James asked, looking appalled. “Just, what?!”

“Daniel, it’s not safe!” Vlad asserted. “Especially doing it in human form! Blood diseases exist!”

“I have enough ectoplasm to counteract that,” Danny informed him. “Don’t worry, I checked. And my saliva’s got enough that infecting humans with anything isn’t an issue.”

“You… What are you talking about? Our human forms have—Daniel!”

Danny had shifted a finger into a claw and slashed his arm. Plasmius reached forward and grabbed it, examining the darker green ectoplasm flowing out.

“It’s fine,” Danny said. “Mostly ectoplasm, see? Any blood I had was pretty much residual, there’s a little bit left that does replenish but mostly it’s ectoplasm. Both forms are the same; like I said, the form difference is basically just visual now.”

“I don’t understand,” James said, then demanded, “Someone explain what’s going on! And why are you cross-dressing!? I was never into that!”

“Well, you never tried it before,” Danny said, tugging his arm back and then licking the ectoplasm off; the small cut had already closed.

Vlad and James both visibly gagged at that. “Why would you lick it?!” Vlad declared.

“It’s better than wiping it on my shirt?” Danny told them, mildly confused. Even back when he was fully human he’d do that when he got a cut.

“Yo! Whelp!” someone else shouted, and Danny turned to see Skulker joining them.

Danny sighed. “What do you want, Skulker?”

“What do you think?!”

Danny frowned. “Ember said you’re not monogamous, so it wasn’t cheating. If you actually are, that’s on her for telling me otherwise.”

“What? No, no ghost is monogamous, are you crazy? No, this is about the fact that you’ve all been having blood-drinking parties and didn’t invite me!”

“Oh. You’re jealous,” Danny realized, giggling a little.

“I am NOT jealous! I just want to know why no one thought to invite me! I want to try blood too.”

“So you feel left out?”

“What, no—okay, fine, sure. Just tell me why!”

Danny sighed and put one hand on his hip and the other on the back of his head, hips canted. “Can you look like this?”

“What?” Skulker asked, confused.

“The humans are paying for a ‘sexy vampire experience’,” Danny explained. “So unless you can make a suit that can bite and feels like you have some semblance of flesh, and looks sexy, then unfortunately you can’t be on the payroll.”

“This is an organized business?!” Vlad proclaimed, sounding horrified.

“Hmph, fine,” Skulker said, crossing his arms too. “Fine, I’ll make a suit like that, just you wait!” He zoomed off, and Danny relaxed his sexy position.

“Explain,” Vlad said flatly.

“I told you, I’m making money for doing this,” Danny told Vlad. “It’s not just ghosts finding humans individually; we’re a business.”

“A brothel, you mean.”

“No, we don’t have sex, just making out and biting! Nothing past second base for private parties, first for general parties, that’s a strict rule.”

“It’s still selling your body!”

“Ugh, seriously? Why are all the adults like this! First the school found out and called my parents, then the freaking cops arrested me because the stupid mayor made biting for money illegal, so now we have to go to the stupid woods to do this…”

“Perhaps, then, if every single adult is saying not to do it, you shouldn’t do it!” Vlad hissed.

“Wait, did you say you got arrested?” James asked, eyes wide.

“They dropped charges,” Danny muttered. “Ugh; seriously makes me wonder if at this point we might as well just have it include sex, if everyone’s gonna equate the biting with that.”

“Daniel!” Vlad gasped, sounding completely scandalized.

Danny growled in frustration. “Just drop it, okay?” He turned to leave. “Now, if we’re done here—”

“We most certainly are not!” Vlad asserted.

“Yeah, you still haven’t explained that ‘blood is tasty’ comment,” James said.

Danny blinked at him. “Why wouldn’t it be…?”

“What do you mean, ‘why wouldn’t it be’?!”

“Well, I mean, ghosts are what caused vampire legends.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

“Yeah. So it’s tasty. Same level as purified ectoplasm, just not as rare.”

“Purified… You drink ectoplasm,” James realized. Danny momentarily wondered why he was surprised at that, then recalled that he’d only discovered that after the point where their timelines split.

“Only when not around Amity Park, or if I need extra energy,” Danny said. “Or, I guess I get it in those ecto-colas too.”

“...How much ghost, exactly, did you say you were?” Vlad asked faintly.

“Oh. You don’t need it, do you?” Danny realized.

“I did when I was full ghost,” James said. “But no, not now that I’m a halfa again.”

“Perfect 50-50 divide,” Vlad said. “The clone body used didn’t have a ghost part yet… Again, Daniel, how much did you say you were?”

“I didn’t say,” Danny told him. “But…” he shifted awkwardly. Should he admit this to them? Eh, it was probably okay. “Frostbite did some scans, says I’m about 85% ghost. Yeah, it was a shock for me to get confirmation of that, too,” he said upon seeing their shocked faces.

“But… how?” Vlad asked.

Danny stared at Vlad incredulously. “I dunno, maybe because you got acne, but I got fucking electrocuted?!”

“Language!” Vlad chided, then paused. “Electrocuted?” He seemed confused.

“Yeah. That’s how the portal activates. Lots of electricity, lots of ectoplasm.”

“I know that!” Vlad spat. “I just don’t get how they could be so incompetent that that much electricity exited the portal chamber.”

“It didn’t,” James spoke up, voice flat. Apparently, he hadn’t told Vlad that either.

“But… then that means… Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’,” Danny said.

“I mean, to be fair, why that happened was even more idiotic,” James said dryly, and when Danny shot him a glare said, “Oh come on, you can’t say it wasn’t. Who accidentally installs a whole second ‘on’ switch inside a machine instead of the organic detection module?”

“The what?” Danny asked. He must know that because of Vlad’s memories of portal creation.

Vlad sighed. “A small device meant to detect the presence of someone inside, so it won’t turn on with them in it even if the on switch is pressed.”

“Yeah, and instead of that, it was a second freaking ‘on’ button!” James growled.

“Oh. Yeah, that is pretty incompetent then,” Danny conceded. “Anyway, I’m gonna go now…” he began, starting to float off.

Vlad grabbed Danny’s wrist. “No. This is not over.”

“What the fuck, fruitloop!?” Danny complained.

“We are going back to my mansion,” Vlad said matter-of-factly. “Where you will receive proper clothing, along with a good meal as that revealing outfit has confirmed my suspicions that you are much too scrawny for a boy your age. Are you even eating?”

“Yes, I eat,” Danny sighed in frustration, concluding that Vlad apparently was not immortal, or at least not enough so that food didn’t affect his looks. Danny decided he did not want to reveal that tidbit yet; it was already weird enough having Vlad worried about him, and Danny didn’t want his immortal existential crisis to add fuel to that fire. “It’s like ten at night, I need sleep more than food right now.”

“Blasphemy. You will get a good meal, then you can stay in one of the guest rooms—Ancients know how poor your home bed is, you ought to get a chance to sleep in a good one for once.”

“Is this some sort of whacky plot to convince me that your home’s better in hopes I wanna be your son? Because first, I know your home is better, and don’t care; and two, pretty sure you ‘adopted’ James already, isn’t one kid enough?”

Vlad sighed in exasperation. “Daniel, I only require one heir; two would make legal matters too complex. Is it really that hard to believe that, as your godfather, I simply genuinely care for your well being?”

“Yes. There’s always a catch.”

“Hmm. I suppose I taught you well, then, for you to default to assuming there’s a catch,” Vlad said. “However, this time there isn’t. If you insist, though, I suppose I could make the caveat that you must attend tomorrow’s etiquette lesson with James.”

“Ettiquette lesson?” Danny asked incredulously. That was something Sam always complained about her parents making her do. He turned to James and raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

James looked slightly embarrassed. “He took me to a business meeting and I might have caused a minor international incident.”

“And luckily I was able to smooth it over,” Vlad said.

“You’re still allowed to do business?” Danny asked, mildly confused. “I thought you were internationally wanted or something?”

“Underground business, my boy,” Vlad said casually. “There is a whole world out there free from conventional authority.”

“What kind of—you know what, I don’t want to know,” Danny decided. “Seriously though, I’m fine, I got plenty of food at the party.”

“All in the form of blood?” Vlad correctly guessed.

Danny winced. “Ah, well… But it’s fine! I don’t need human food right now,” he said, right as his stomach belied that by growling loudly. Come to think of it, when did he last eat human food? Huh. Maybe the blood wasn’t enough.

“Well, then, humor me,” Vlad said, pulling Danny along as he headed back to the portal to his Wisconsin mansion, James following. Danny allowed it; he was too tired to fight, and had a feeling Vlad was going to make this non-negotiable for some reason.

Besides, Vlad always had really nice expensive food, and the more he thought about it, the more Danny realized that he actually was kinda hungry for human food after the night he’d had. Seeing as there had only been a few eggs and some cheese left in the fridge that morning, and only cereal in the pantry, and his parents had a date night reservation at some restaurant so wouldn’t need to buy anything for dinner so likely forgot to go food shopping… yeah, probably best to get food from Vlad, even if it was a little awkward.

Chapter Text

Danny woke up well-rested yet somehow still tired, as well as slightly disoriented before remembering he was at Vlad’s, hence the impossibly comfortable bed and the silk pajamas he wore (it was definitely creepy that Vlad had a full wardrobe of clothes in Danny’s size, a reminder that he’d been trying to clone him for a while; he wondered if Vlad found it strange that the clothes bought for the clones more than a year ago were still a perfect fit).

Danny stared up at the ceiling, which had some ridiculous wallpaper meant to make it resemble the painted ceilings of places like the Sistine Chapel, to complement the room’s mahogany color walls that were accented with gold. All the furniture in the guest room was reddish-brown, made from ‘koa wood’, which Vlad assured Danny was very expensive, as though he cared. The whole room was much too gaudy for Danny’s liking.

Still, the bed itself was extremely soft and cozy, as were the velvet blankets. Danny curled up under them, aware he had definitely gotten enough sleep but still not wanting to leave the bed. The thrill of the party was over, the adrenaline gone, and Danny simply had no motivation to move, feeling like an emptiness had washed over him. Maybe if he slept more it would go away.

“Little badger? Are you awake?” eventually came a voice from the door. Vlad, of course.

“Five more minutes,” Danny muttered, curling into the blanket further.

“I’m afraid that cannot be obliged. It is already 10am. Breakfast is waiting.”

“Not hungry,” Danny replied. “Just, leave me alone.” He just wanted to sink into the fluffy bed and stay there forever.

“I’m afraid I cannot oblige that request,” Vlad said. “You have etiquette lessons at noon, and you must shower and eat first.”

“I said I’m not hungry,” Danny repeated. “Just, go away.”

“Daniel? Is everything okay?” Vlad asked, now sounding worried.

“I’m fine,” Danny told him.

“Like hell you are!” came another voice, and the sound of stomping feet, before James roughly pulled Danny out of the bed. His human form was similar to his ghost form in height and weight and musculature, but his hair was long, about mid back length and tied into a low ponytail. Danny stared at him blankly as James examined his face before saying, “Hm. Thought something was fishy last night. The whole sex work thing is some fucked up way to cope with depression, isn’t it? Using adrenaline or endorphins or whatever?”

“It’s not sex work,” Danny grumbled, not bothering to deny the other part and unable to look anywhere but the floor. “It’s fine, really. I’ve got it handled.” It wasn’t that bad.

“Yeah, and when my timeline’s you ‘had it handled’, it resulted in me,” James pointed out. “Or are you as thick as the Observants and seriously think it was just cheating on the test that caused the issue?”

“It’ll be fine,” Danny stubbornly muttered again. “Really. Just leave me alone, okay?”

“No,” James said, grabbing Danny by the wrist and practically dragging him out of the bedroom door; instead of stumbling over his feet, Danny floated to make that easier. James noticed about halfway down the hallway; he turned and looked down at Danny’s feet, then at Danny's face and sent him an angry glare.

Danny just shrugged in response. “What? It’s easier.”

“Whatever,” James grumbled, then continued the trek to the kitchens, leading Danny like a balloon, Vlad following behind them. Danny had a feeling that 50-50 halfas couldn’t float in human form.

James sat Danny down in a chair at a table in one of Vlad’s fancy dining rooms; a plate with a typical English breakfast sat in front of him, along with a glass of orange juice.

Danny simply stared at the plate, appetite nonexistent.

“Eat!” James insisted.

Danny just shoved the plate away, then crossed his arms on the table and put his head in them.

“Daniel, you have to eat,” Vlad told him worriedly.

“Told you, not hungry,” Danny muttered into his arm. “Besides, I’m good on human food for now, I don’t need that much.”

“Perhaps, then, I could send for a glass of ectoplasm?”

“No, that’s okay.”

“You need to eat something, Daniel. You’re a growing boy.”

Danny couldn’t help but let out a wry chuckle at that. “Heh. Good one.”

“What, pray tell, is so funny about that?”

Danny lifted his head and turned to look up at Vlad. “Seriously, fruitloop? You didn’t even wonder why these pajamas, which I’m assuming you bought for the clones, what, almost two years ago, fit me perfectly?”

“Oh,” James said, realizing before Vlad. “That’s… another difference between degrees of halfas, isn’t it?”

“Yup. 14 forever, yay me,” Danny said. “Pretty sure others are gonna start to notice soon. Gonna be impossible to keep my secret once they do…” He sighed.

“I see,” Vlad said, seeming to take the news in stride. He paused with a contemplative look, then frowned. “You know, that does make what you’re doing with the ‘service’ business that much worse?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well—”

BOOM!

Danny put his arms up to block the burst of dust caused by something crashing through the wall.

“Oh, chocolate croissants. You cannot be serious,” Vlad drawled.

Danny blinked a few times as the dust cleared to find the Specter Speeder in the dining room.

“Danny!” Sam, Tucker, and Jazz shouted as they tumbled out of the speeder and hurried towards him.

The Boo-merang made its way through the hole in the wall, and Danny reached up and caught it before it could bonk him in the head.

“Sorry; guess I forgot to call,” Danny said sheepishly, as the three stood near the table looking mildly confused at the scene.

Collecting himself, Vlad told Jazz, “Good; now that you’re here, perhaps you could get Daniel to eat some food, perhaps take a shower as well? He’s being stubborn. Then, for crashing into my wall, you three can join both Daniel and James for an etiquette lesson this afternoon; that seems like an apt punishment in lieu of paying to fix it, hm?”

“Excuse me?” Tucker asked, looking at Vlad like he’d lost his mind. Which, yeah, Danny was wondering that too.

“I’d rather just pay,” Sam said dryly. “I’m sure your finances won’t even notice the amount it takes to fix that, but if you insist, give me an account number and I’ll wire some funds over.”

“She hates etiquette classes,” James informed Vlad. “Her parents make her go to them a lot.”

For a moment Danny wondered how he knew that, then remembered that, right, he had Danny’s memories up until the explosion, including knowing his friends.

“Yet it has not stuck,” Vlad pointed out. “So, no, the only apt punishment shall be the class. Now, Jasmine, if you don’t mind I must discuss an important matter with you, alone.”

“It’s fine,” Danny said, giving her a backhand wave, well aware his sister would be skeptical of that. Jazz already was convinced Danny had depression, so it would be fine for Vlad to discuss that with her, assuming it was the topic, which Danny was almost certain it was.

Once the two left the room, Sam pulled Danny out of his seat by his arm and said, “Okay, let’s go now.”

“No,” James said, tugging on Danny’s other arm to get him back in the chair again. “Eat first, then escape.”

“What is happening right now?” Tucker wondered, seeming very confused.

“Kid’s refusing to eat, that’s what!” James asserted as Sam pulled Danny up again.

Danny jerked his arm out of James’s and shook Sam off. “I told you, I’m not hungry,” he said tersely to James, anger flaring in him. “It’s not a big deal. I ate last night, and I’ll eat later. I know Vlad is apparently concerned that I’m too thin or something, but it literally is not going to change no matter how much or what I eat.”

“Yes, well, excuse me for not realizing that you got ghost immortality until roughly five minutes ago,” Vlad drawled as he returned with Jazz. “Even so, you still ought to eat.”

Danny glared at Vlad, grabbed the orange juice from the table, and chugged it while eyes locked with him. He forcefully put the cup back on the table with an audible THUD, wiped his mouth with his arm, then said, “There. I had something. Now, can I go?

Vlad sighed with slight exasperation, then conceded, “Fine. If you’re so insistent upon going home without a meal, and skipping etiquette lessons, I won’t stop you. This is not over though!”

“Sure it isn’t, fruitloop,” Danny quipped as Sam pulled him towards the speeder. Tucker and Jazz followed.

James looked like he wanted to say something more, but Vlad put a hand on his shoulder and subtly shook his head.

“Those two are definitely plotting something,” Tucker said as the speeder doors closed and Sam hurried to power the vehicle on.

“Actually, I believe they truly don’t have evil intent this time,” Jazz contrasted as they took off.

Sam scoffed. “What, you think they’re actually worried?”

“Well, remember, Phantom—”

“James,” Danny interjected. “He goes by James now. James Masters.”

“Okay,” Jazz acknowledged. “So remember, James has a very dark past that stemmed from negative emotions. He’s worried your behavior could lead to such. Unfoundedly so, I know, but worries aren’t always founded in fact.”

“Yeah, I think that’s what’s happening too,” Danny said. “For him, that is. Vlad just seems to be feeling parental for some reason.”

“Well, he is raising a kid now, kinda,” Jazz pointed out.

“Only kinda. He might look 20 but he’s got all the knowledge of a 14-year-old me combined with a 46-year-old Vlad,” Danny pointed out. Which was odd that it made the first form look around 26, come to think of it… Actually, Vlad definitely looked younger than 46. Was the halfa thing making him age slower? Did it scale with percent, until it was enough ghost to be immortal? Hmm. Well, they’d find out for sure in another 20 years, Danny suppossed—he had plenty of time.

“So, everything’s okay?” Tucker asked Danny. “They didn’t do anything to you?”

“No, actually,” Danny said. “He just gave me what he called ‘proper clothes’—well, pajamas,” he amended, gesturing to himself, “and gave me dinner because apparently he noticed me not growing and thinks that’s lack of nutrition, and then let me sleep in a guest room. Then he woke me up and tried giving me breakfast, but I wasn’t that hungry—I mean, I had a lot of blood last night! Neither of them realize that’s enough though, so were trying to get me to eat. Apparently neither of them have the trait where they need to eat ectoplasm? I don’t think they really believe that I can be fine eating it, or blood. Anyway, that’s when you came in.”

“So, it’s not due to some sort of depression or eating disorder, like Vlad asked me about,” Jazz said with a knowing smile.

Danny actually laughed at that. “Seriously? That’s what he was talking to you about? As I’ve said before, Jazz, I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about,” he said, well aware he might be—no, likely was—lying on that front, but shoving that suspicion away; Jazz’s theories had just been getting to him, that was all. He was overreacting. “And an eating disorder is just plain ridiculous.”

“Oh, I know; that’s what I told him too,” Jazz said, laughing too. “You eat more than most teens!”

Danny shrugged. “All that fighting takes a lot out of me,” he told her, opting not to mention that he did sometimes skip meals due to an absence of appetite even if he should be hungry. Not that often, but this morning was proof of it. He’d probably end up getting a lot more hungry later and eating a much larger meal, which was why Jazz thought he ate more than most.

“So, we’re sure he’s not actually plotting something?” Sam asked from the pilot seat.

“Probably not,” Danny told them.

“Then what was with the etiquette lessons?” Tucker wondered.

“Oh. He found me in the Ghost Zone wearing last night’s party outfit,” Danny explained. “And the rumors that I’d been drinking blood reached him. He decided I needed those, and since James was already getting them today as punishment for messing up a business meeting I guess he decided I should join in?

“Wait, business meeting?” Sam asked, confused. “Aren’t his assets frozen?”

“Offshore accounts and underground businesses,” Tucker answered, then shrugged. “What, you think I haven’t still been monitoring him? Allegedly reformed or not, he’s still our nemesis, right, Danny?”

“Right,” Danny confirmed. “He’s just being a fruitloop, as usual,” he concluded. “If he’s up to anything, I’m sure we’ll notice.”

“Don’t jinx it!” Sam warned.

Danny rolled his eyes. “Please. If he does have anything planned, we’ve got it; we always do.”

Chapter Text

“Danny,” someone said from behind him, as he stood watching people enter the next forest party, the third one after the encounter with Vlad and James—it had been so popular that it was now a weekly event, at least until it got too cold for humans since winter was fast approaching; they were honestly lucky that it wasn’t already too cold for it. They’d soon need to figure out somewhere indoors to hold the parties.

Danny swerved around. “Valerie?!” he proclaimed. “Why are you here? If it’s to capture the ghosts—”

“No, it’s not for that,” Valerie said with a sigh. “I won’t break this up unless humans get hurt—well, hurt more than was paid for, I guess.”

“So, why are you here?” Danny wondered.

“Call it curiosity,” Valerie said. “People keep talking about this, and I want to know what the appeal is. Believe it or not, I am a fan of those vampire books, even knowing now that vampires are just mistaken ghosts. Which, by the way, I’m pretty sure the entire student population at school realizes. Many of them also seem to be aware of you being one.”

Danny sighed. “Yeah, I’ve realized that.” Thankfully the ghost part was the only conclusion they had drawn, not Phantom, and they seemed to be keeping it a secret, even from the teachers. A few during private sessions, which they’d started up again but only for individuals or very small groups, had even simply asked Danny outright to do ghost things rather than vampire things, such as floating to do upside-down kisses, or invisibly kissing, which Danny had obliged since if they were so explicitly asking him to do those kind of ghost things there was no point in pretending otherwise. He put his hands behind his head and sighed.

Valerie then looked Danny up and down. “Damn. I can definitely see the appeal.”

Danny blushed and lowered his arms. “Val! You can’t just say things like that!”

This time, Danny wore an outfit very loosely inspired by Arabian Nights, a cropped open dark purple velvet vest with gold embroidered designs and matching purple velvet hot pants, again the kind dancers used to keep everything contained. His feet had matching slippers with the gold embroidery, and he again wore metal collars and wrist cuffs, but this time in gold.

Valerie put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. “Really? Don’t other people say those things?”

“Yeah, but it’s different when it’s you…” Danny said; over the past two months since Valerie had learned Danny was Phantom, their relationship had been slowly repairing; the two had even teamed up a few times on patrol, and Danny had realized that maybe he wasn’t as over her as he had thought even after all this time. He glanced at her wristband; unfortunately, it was empty, truly just observing.

“What? Disappointed that I couldn’t afford your high prices? The entry fee was $50, I had to save up for that.”

Danny winced. “Oh. Yeah, the prices are kinda high, aren’t they?” Danny then had an idea. “You know, you’re a bit early—technically there’s like another ten minutes until the official start time…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Danny said as he slid into her space and put his hands on her shoulders and looked slightly up at her; thankfully the height difference was only a few inches with her. “So, no need to pay if you want something now…”

“Tempting,” Valerie said. “But, I dunno… There was that lecture on seductive ghosts that said we should say no, remember?”

“Well, then, good thing I’m not a full ghost, or a seductive type,” Danny said as he moved a little closer, the two now chest-to-chest.

“Oh, I dunno, you seem pretty seductive right now,” Valerie said, voice a little husky, her lips a hair’s breath from Danny’s now and her hands resting on his waist. “Well, I suppose I could give in…”

Valerie and Danny leaned forward at the same time, lips meeting; Danny felt a surge of adrenaline and all those other wonderful endorphins, increasing further as he eased his tongue into her mouth and she responded in kind. They’d never kissed this intensely before; when dating there had been a few chaste ones, but never like this; it was euphoric.

“That was amazing,” Valerie whispered as the two parted, eyes lidded and with a dreamy smile.

“Want to experience a bite too?” Danny muttered, eyes lidded too.

Valerie took a moment to consider that. “Might be because I’m high on endorphins, but sure, I’ll try it. First though, kiss me again?”

“Of course,” Danny muttered, closing the gap again. After another deep kiss, he trailed his lips down Valerie’s cheek and neck, peppering her with tiny kisses; she instinctually cocked her head, giving him access, and Danny gently bit down in the spot where her neck met her shoulder, though didn’t draw blood.

Valerie moaned. “Oh, that does feel good,” she muttered. “You can have some blood too…”

So, Danny bit down harder, piercing the skin, eliciting another moan. Not for the first time Danny wondered if ghost fangs had some sort of aphrodisiac involved, as vampire lore suggested, or if humans simply derived that much pleasure from being seductively bitten for some reason. Danny himself moaned as he sucked in some blood, using his tongue to lap it up as Valerie panted slightly in pleasure. He withdrew eventually, though maybe lingered for a few moments longer than he should have, then backed up a step.

“So, how was that?” Danny asked.

“A lot more amazing than I thought it would be,” Valerie admitted breathlessly.

“Well, I’d give you more, but it’s a little too close to the party start time,” Danny reluctantly told her.

“Damn. This feels like some sort of drug thing; give a sample to get them addicted, then have them pay for more,” Valerie said teasingly. “You know, there’s some blood on your chin.”

“Oh,” Danny said, then wiped away the little amount with his finger and licked it off.

“Why is that hot too?” Valerie whined, almost complaining. “Maybe I should pay for some more… I was saving up for a few things, but maybe…”

“Or, you can save your money, and we can do this later for no charge in private,” Danny said with a fanged grin. “One caveat though: Like all ghosts, I don’t do exclusive.”

“I can live with that,” Valerie agreed. “If you promise to wear a skirt—that’s unexpectedly hot, too.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Danny said, grinning wider.

“Hey! Danny!” Paulina called, heading over to them. “Enough freebies; party’s starting!”

Valerie headed to the food and drink area for some gatorade at Danny’s recommendation, and Danny joined the crowd in search for someone else whose wristband indicated they were willing to give blood, his appetite for such whetted.

About an hour into the party, a ghost shield suddenly circled the area, one of the slightly-blue-tinged ones that worked on Danny; above them the Fenton Zeppelin regained its visibility. The humans stopped what they were doing, whispering, and the ghosts for their credit played along, as was the plan in case of the appearance of the two ghost hunters.

“Shit,” Danny hissed, unlooking his fangs from the boy he’d been biting and stepping back as he looked up at it. How did they figure it out?!

Someone shut the music off.

Danny, who had been near the edge of the woods, felt a heavy hand fall on his shoulder. A hand that he knew. “Danny,” a deep voice sternly said.

“Hi, Dad,” Danny squeaked out. The shield, he knew, was meant specifically for him—as far as he knew, his parents still didn’t realize the other ‘vampires’ were ghosts, and they knew this version of shield actually worked on Danny’s ‘ecto-contamination’, which is why the model wasn’t typically used or sold anymore.

People were now looking at the two, whispering and looking worried.

“Danny!” Jazz called, hurrying over. She had a wristband too, with some stamps; Danny was pretty sure she was participating this time because of Johnny being there—usually she was just a driver and security, but last time she had been looking at him a little wistfully, apparently still attracted to him despite what happened two years prior.

“Jazzy?! You’re here too?!” Jack said, surprised, then his voice grew stern again. “You’re leaving this place too, young lady.” Then, he said louder to the crowd, “I’m only here for my kids; the rest of you can carry on!”

The ghost shield clicked off and the crowd looked at each other, muttering, many shrugging, then as Jack turned Danny towards the woods the music turned back on and they resumed the party.

Jack led Danny through the woods in silence, his enormous hand not just on Danny’s shoulder but also partly covering the back of his neck, making Danny feel like a little kid and painfully reminding him that he would never get larger than this.

The zeppelin followed from above, presumably driven by Danny’s mom, and eventually they reached another clearing, which it alighted down on.

Jack led Danny into it, Jazz sheepishly following; Maddie was waiting there, hands on her hips and looking very angry.

“So, er, how did you figure out where we were?” Danny asked awkwardly.

“We got an anonymous tip,” Jack said dryly, hand still on Danny’s shoulder, apparently concerned he might try running away.

“Vlad,” Danny hissed under his breath. It was the only thing that made sense; the other ghosts wouldn’t tell, and the students participating didn’t actually know the location as they were driven to it and the location wasn’t revealed to the registrants until they were there—some did recognize it from other general parties, but if they were there they certainly wouldn’t want to tell anyone. Vlad knew it was a forest, and there had been a few parties already; the bastard probably had been scouting for them each week until he finally found them.

Maybe they should start switching locations.

Maddie picked up something from the table and tossed it at Danny; he caught it and noted that it was a hoodie and sweatpants. “Oh. You, er, anticipated that I’d be…” he trailed off.

“In clothes that are highly inappropriate for a 16-year-old?” Maddie finished. “Unfortunately, yes, we expected that. What we didn’t expect, though, was you, Jasmine Fenton! What are you thinking, encouraging this behavior?!”

As Danny quickly put the grey sweats and green hoodie (not with a zipper this time) on over his other clothes, which Jack briefly moved his hand for before replacing it, Jazz said in a calm voice, “I was thinking that he’s going to be doing this kind of thing anyway, so might as well supervise.”

“He’s selling his body!”

“I enjoy it!” Danny asserted once again, suddenly angry. “Why can’t you understand that? I like doing this! I want to do this! Besides, weren’t you recently saying I should find a job? This is a job!”

“By job, we meant something like Nasty Burger or an ice cream shop!” Jack bellowed. “We didn’t mean to prostitute yourself!”

Danny winced, the voice loud in his ear. He didn’t like this at all; he wanted to duck away, but resisted. “Sorry,” Danny said, aware that fighting it wasn’t worth it. He suddenly felt very down, the high of the adrenaline from the party quickly wearing off as the weight of the situation hit him. He shook slightly. “Sorry. It just… feels good when I do this,” he said. “Nothing else feels good.” Why did he suddenly feel like crying?

“What do you mean?” Jazz asked, suddenly on high alert; Danny suspected that she had the same suspicions as he did about his behavior.

Danny shrugged and looked at the ground. “It’s just, most of the time I just feel really crappy, and sad; I don’t know why, I just do. But when I do this stuff, that pit of sadness goes away for a bit…”

“You’re chasing adrenaline and endorphins,” Jazz realized. “You’re using that to self-medicate for depression.”

“I’m not depressed,” Danny automatically answered, even though he actually did also strongly suspect that was the case. No, knew it was. He couldn’t keep denying it.

“I think he needs a psychiatrist,” Jazz told her parents. “I know I’ve told you this before, multiple times, but there’s no way you can deny there’s an issue now, right?”

“N-no, I suppose not,” Maddie stuttered out, looking shocked at the revelation.

“I don’t need a psychiatrist…” Danny weakly denied, realizing a few tears were trailing down his cheeks. Did he? Would that help?

“A psychiatrist could get you medicine to help, so you don’t have to resort to engaging in reckless behavior,” Jazz explained. “It may just be making out and biting now, but if this is allowed to continue, you could start seeking it out in other ways—things like going further than just second base, or fighting, or illegal drugs or drinking, or even something like self-harm.” Her emphasis on ‘fighting’ meant she likely knew that Danny had been seeking that out, too.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Danny muttered, in reference to the non-fighting things, though secretly wondered if maybe he would.

“Can you honestly say that?” Jazz asked, as though she knew what he’d been thinking.

Danny was quiet for a moment, everyone patiently waiting for his response. He couldn’t deny that he hadn’t been tempted to try going further than second base fairly often, especially with Ember. And although he knew he wouldn’t seek it out, if anyone ever offered, would he accept drugs or alcohol? Honestly, he couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t… No, actually, he knew for a fact that he would say yes. So… “No,” Danny told the floor quietly. “No, I can’t be sure of that…”

“Danny…” Jack quietly trailed, sounding sad.

Tears fell to the ground; Danny was crying for sure now. “M-maybe I do need help,” he admitted, sniffling slightly.

Jack shifted so that his hand was no longer on Danny’s shoulder; instead, he moved it to Danny’s arm opposite him, pulling him close in a side hug. “We’ll get you help, son,” he said.

“Yes,” Maddie said, stepping over to hug Danny from the other side. “Things will get better, don’t you worry.”

“I’m sorry,” Danny said through teary eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be like this…”

“It’s not something you can help,” Jack said gently.

“The brain is an organ, and just like any other organ, it can get sick,” Maddie said, slipping into her more scientific tone of voice (Danny couldn’t help to think that it was more to comfort herself; just last year she was still laughing at Jazz’s suggestions that Danny’s ‘emotional issues’ were anything more than teenage angst). “Depression is just that. It might take some time, but with proper treatment you’ll get through this.”

Jazz joined in, wrapping her arms around Danny’s chest from behind him. “Yeah, you’ll get through this,” Jazz said quietly, and Danny found he believed those words more when his sister said them—probably an attestment to how she had been more of a parent to him than their own parents.

“Thanks, everyone,” Danny said, leaning back into his sister’s embrace as he tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. “Just, thank you.”

After a few minutes, Danny was finally released from the hug, and turned to face his family. “So, what’s my punishment for…” he made a sweeping gesture towards the direction of the clearing. “You know.”

Danny’s parents looked at each other, sharing a silent conversation, and Jack then turned to Danny. “No punishment this time. We just want you to get help; consider the psychiatrist your punishment if you want.”

“Just, please, don’t do this again,” Maddie pleaded.

“Don’t worry; I won’t,” Danny confidently lied.

Danny was absolutely sure he would be continuing the business—just a little more secretively this time. But, maybe the psychiatrist would help change it to more of a leisurely activity, something only done for casual fun and a good way to get money, rather than also using it as a way to sate an adrenaline addiction borne as a way to self-medicate for depression.

Regardless of the business though, Danny would definitely continue to embrace the vampiric part of his ghostliness, of that he was certain.