Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Slimmy Jimmy: Yo bro wanna hang out tonight?

Sour Patchi: sure where we going?

Slimmy Jimmy: Idk Nutter said they got another shipment of whatever the hell they're usually on so I guess we could go to that 

Sour Patchi: HELL NO BRO i’m NOT trying to communicate with the gods of the multiverse or having some weird ass trip about some guy named aiden. 

Slimmy Jimmy: Ok then wanna go out and get shitfaced by a lake?

Sour Patchi: dude why the hell would we do that??? 

Slimmy Jimmy: Broski I'm running out of ideas here. It’s either that or we go to 711

Sour Patchi: Eh better then getting shitfaced out in the middle of nowhere

Slimmy Jimmy: Dude you have no idea what you’re missing out on

      Sour Patch rolled his eyes at his friend’s idiotic hobbies as he read the message. He put his phone down and rolled out of bed over to his closet to throw on a hoodie. He wore his favorite tie-dye rainbow one that he got as a birthday gift back when he was a freshman. Sour Patch tied up the laces to his beat up high-tops and escaped through his window. 

      The 711 wasn’t too far away, just a brisk walk down the block. A quick glance at his cracked phone screen to see it was 1:02 AM. The night air was dry and breezy with fall approaching. Sour Patch shoved his phone and hands back in his pockets at a particularly cold wind. He always enjoyed night walks, it helped to clear his mind a little, despite the lingering feeling of anxiety that naturally comes to anyone when walking alone at night.

      He heard the little bell above the door chime as he entered the brightly illuminated store. Sour Patch shielded his eyes from the harsh fluorescent lights.

“Yo Patchi!” said in a heavy southern accent.

“Why do you insist on calling me that??” Sour Patch said in response to his lanky friend’s nickname.

“What? You call me Jimmy all the time.”

      Slim Jim, one of the three of Sour Patch’s friends. He was tall and lanky as his name suggests. Frizzy dark red hair that was more like a bird's nest sat atop his head, usually “tamed” by a truckers hat like it was now. He wore a loose flannel and some baggy oil stained jeans with scuffed trainers.

      “Well yeah because that’s literally your name??” “Shush” Sour Patch was rudely interrupted by Jimmy who was now moving up and down the isles. Sour Patch had no choice but to follow him as he let out an exasperated sigh. 

     They ended up in the beef jerky row of the snack section. It seemed like everytime they went to 711 they always ended up with a bag or two. Jim called it “fuel for adventures” Sour Patch called it “extra nitrates” but doesn’t say it out loud. 

      Sometimes Nutter comes with them on their little nightly rendezvous, that is, if they're present enough to respond to Sour or Jim’s texts. Sour Patch genuinely worries for Nutter’s mental health. At first they all thought it was a bit, but little by little it started to consume Nutter. Their eyes weren’t necessarily filled with joy before but they certainly weren’t as empty as they were now. Their pupils were so dilated they looked like the void itself. Sour Patch made a mental note to visit them tomorrow.

      Then there’s Gale. Her actual name is Gain but Jimmy kept pronouncing it as “Gay” so eventually he just started calling her Gale and everyone went along with it. She’s the only “normal” one of the group. Ok, well she was normal on the outside atleast. Her strict sleep schedule never allowed her to go on these late night trips, however they still hang out a bunch. She’s a nice person and genuinely pleasant to be around. Sour Patch still can’t wrap his head around how a sweet girl like her managed to find her way in a group with a possessed extraterrestrial being, a hill-billy slenderman, and a depressed cynical sugar addict. Man they weren’t lying, college IS weird.

“I’m gonna go to the candy section, join me when you’re done scrutinizing the poor jerky.” Sour joked.

“Ok doke” Jerky quickly responded before going back to stare entrancidly at the meat. Yup, weird indeed.

      Sour made his way to the candy section with astounding ease. He knew this entire store layout better than the back of his hand. He instinctively grabbed his favorite candy of all time, Mars Men. They were these ridiculously sour and sweet gummy candy that hit the spot just right. Jim tried one once and almost puckered his face into oblivion, Sour and Gale couldn’t stop laughing at his reaction to such a small candy. Sour Patch chuckled to himself “Good Memories” he thought.

      Equipped with their paid-for snacks the two sat side-by-side on the curb, staring up at the night sky.

“Do you ever wish you could see the stars?” Jim’s thick accent enunciated his words.

“Yeah, sometimes. I remember seeing a night sky full of stars whenever I would go on family road trips a long time ago.”

“Do you miss it?”

There was a beat of silence before Sour responded.

“The family trips were alright, I liked being able to hang out with my older brother. He usually wasn’t home.”

“No, not that, I mean the stars?”

“Oh”

Another second of silence 

“Yeah I guess I do.”

      The time flew by as the two good friends got more engrossed in their conversation. Next thing they knew it was 2:26 AM. “Oh crap look at the time.” Sour said. “Oh scum you better get back before your roommate notices you’re gone.”

“I’m sure he’s already aware…”

      They said their goodbyes and goodnights before turning their separate ways. Sour Patch walked at a slow pace. It’s be no point in rushing back if his roommate was awake.

      Sour climbed through the window of his bedroom, luckily the lights weren’t on, signifying that his roommate wasn’t awake yet. Or so he thought until he fully climbed into his room and shut the window only to be startled out of his skin at the lightswitch to be flicked on behind him. Sour Patch whipped around to see none other than his oh-so lovely roommate.

“Oreo.”

“Sour Patch.”

      His roommate, Oreo, was leaning against Sour Patch’s messy dresser wearing his usual black and white silk pajama set, with matching slippers mind you. His hair was nothing short of bedhead, his usually pristine comb over replaced with his inky black hair going out in all odd angles. That’s not all, his usual nonchalant poker face was instead replaced with dark circles and a scowl that made Oreo look like a grumpy cat. Sour internally laughed at the comparison. 

“Is it so hard to just send me a text of where you’re going instead of just sneaking out like a rebellious teenager?” Oreo said in an exasperated and tired tone.

“Why do you care so much about where I go? I’m not your problem.” the words came out harsher than Sour Patch intended them to.

“Actually to an extent you are, I can’t have the person who is half paying rent to just go missing and be found murdered on the sidewalk.” It was a harsh but true statement.

“Ok fine, I was just hanging out with Slim Jim at the 711 down the street, what’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing if you had just told me beforehand.”

“I thought you were asleep!”

“Besides, why do you even like going to 711 so late at night, or rather, so early in the morning?”

“Because of nunya.”

“Wow, real mature.”

“Look, I told you where I went so you can just go back to sleep now, right?”

“How do I know you won’t sneak out again?”

“UGH I thought you were ASLEEP and I didn’t want to. wake. you. up.” 

“Well I wasn’t. Why didn’t you just check?”

“Because I didn’t know I had a contractual obligation to!”

There’s that silence again. The silence of when the other person doesn’t know what to say right away.

“Oreo, look. I answered your questions and I swear from now on I'll text you if I'm leaving the house and where I'm going, capeesh? 

“I’d prefer savvy but capeesh shall do.” He said with finality as he turned around and left Sour’s messy room, closing the door behind him.

What a weird guy.

Chapter Text

It was Sunday morning when Sour Patch was rudely awakened to the sound of pounding on his door. 

      “Sour Face! Wake up! Your hill-billy friend won’t stop banging on the door!” ah yes, what a truly wonderful way to wake up. “Why the hell is Jim here??” his voice croaked as he muttered the question from under his breath. 

“SOUR!” followed by even more loud pounding.

“I HEARD YOU. Just let him in! I’ll be out in like 5 minutes!” 

      He heard a sigh as the yelling and pounding ceased. A second went by and all that remained was sweet silence. Sour Patch finally cracked open his eyes only to be blinded by the sunlight coming in through his shades. He rolled over and out of bed and headed for the door. He was still in his South Park pajama pants and a baggy white shirt but he didn’t care.

      Sour Patch opened the door to see his roommate sitting at their shared kitchen table drinking a latte while working on his laptop. On the other side of the room was Jimmy stretched out on the couch staring at the TV. 

“You know the TV turns on right?” Sour’s voice startled Jim out of his trance.

“Oh hey yur awake!” 

“Yeah, barely. What are you doing here?”

“Wow such harsh words commin’ from the person who came up with the bright idea to go visit our crazy friend.” Jimmy deadpanned.

Wait what?

“OH CRAP I COMPLETELY FORGOT.” Sour Patch ran back into his room to go get ready. There was the opening and closing of doors and drawers, along with a lot of shuffling around.

“What time is it?” he spoke through a mouth full of toothpaste.

“Erm uhh like half past Nine AM.”

      Sour spat out his toothpaste and rinsed out his mouth. He saw a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His bleached hair was wild and unkempt, his dark roots were showing at the top of his head. His pale face was a stark contrast to his eyebags that made him look terrifying. It’s not his fault he had been dealing with insomnia since high school. 

      He quickly brushed through his fried mess of hair and left the bathroom and back out to his shared living room.

“Ready to go?” Jimmy had a small natural smile on his face as he spoke, for some reason Jimmy just felt warm. Kinda like a home-away-from-home type of thing.

“Yea- wait actually hold on there is something I gotta do first.” Sour said reluctantly.

“Well alright but don’t take too long now, I'll go warm up the truck.”

“Yeah ok.”

      Sour turned around back toward the kitchen and went up to his roommate, who was engrossed in his work. Awkwardly, Sour shuffled towards his roommate, acting as if Oreo was going to jump at him if he made the wrong step. 

“Oreo.”

No response, just the clicking of a keyboard.

“Oreo.” Sour Patch repeated.

“O-re-oooooooo-”

A heavy sigh interrupted him.

“What. I’m working.” Oreo’s words came out more like a growl than anything.

“Jeez- I just wanted to tell you that I’m heading over to my friend Nutter’s dorm and I might not be back for a while.”

“Fine by me, oh also I have a meeting later today. I’ll be coming home late aswell.” 

“What’s the meeting for?”

“Nunya.”

“HEY- I- YOU-” Sour stammered.

“As I recall your friend is waiting for you?” Oreo interrupted in a smooth voice.

“Ugh. I hope you choke on your latte.”

       There was nothing more but a hum of acknowledgement from the other’s end. Sour Patch turned and left with a huff and shut the front door behind him.

Chapter Text

      Sour Patch Climbed into the passenger seat of Jimmy’s old pick-up truck. It was a rusty red color with who knows how many scratches and dents. It was a very well loved truck passed down to him by his father.  You could tell too. It smelled like firewood and oil, which if you didn’t know,is actually decently pleasant to smell. However it was the run-down engine that really worried Sour. But it was either this or they walked and considering how far Nutter lives, walking was very much not a good option.

      The drive there was quiet for the most part, Sour Patch was trying to catch up on some missed hours of sleep while Jim focused on the road.

      It was always a maze trying to find Nutter’s dorm in the sea of random doors and hallways. Luckily Jim and Sour have gotten used to it and use their own little system for finding their beloved schizophrenic friend’s abode.

“Patchi, their dorm is on the second floor and to the first right, then down the secret hatch and to the left of raccoon city, and then straight until we get to the red door and then spin around twice and climb through the ceiling, right?”

“Uhhh yeah I'm pretty sure.” Sour Patch shrugged.

      After going to the second floor and going to the right then down the secret hatch and going left by raccoon city and then continuing forward until they found the red door then spinning twice and climbing through the ceiling tile, they had finally made it to Nutter’s dorm.

“Everytime we come here I'm always baffled at how Nutter manages to remember all of this.” Sour spoke with his hands as he enunciated his point.

“They don’t have to, they never leave their dorm.”

Sour knocked once, no reply.

“Nutter! You in there buddy? It’s us, your friends!” Sour Patch attempted to speak through the door.

“Oh wait crap don’t we gotta use that weird knocking system thingy they told us about?”

“Oh shoot you’re right, I keep forgetting that.”

“I have no clue how you were able to forget about that after the first time you messed it up and we got jumped by a bigass rat named Micheal.” Slim deadpeanned.

“It wasn’t my fault! How was I supposed to know that the rat king Micheal didn’t like the ‘Shave and a haircut, two bits’ jingle!” Sour Patch spoke with his arms again to further prove his point.

“Oh whatever, move, let me do it.” 

      Jim brought up his knuckles to the door before knocking them to the rhythm of “Megalovania”.

“It still is beyond me why the rat king likes Undertale but not the most generic knock out there! And on that note, why is he even named Micheal? Does he speak english or what-”

“Patchi”

“Huh?”

“The door, it’s open.”

      And so it was, apparently this whole time they didn’t even need to do the weird knock. They literally could’ve just walked right in. The duo just looked at each other before promptly entering.

      Nutter’s dorm was nothing short of cryptic. Probably the only reason that they don’t have a roommate. Black ooze stained basically any piece of furniture in there. Odd objects littered the floor and shelves, from wet specimens in jars to a blond ragdoll also covered in black ink. Other than the black goo and weird “objects”, Nutter’s dorm just looked barren. The white walls and white carpet were just that, plain white. The room was only illuminated by a flickering ceiling lamp. The room had a singular window, which was boarded off with cardboard and had black curtains draped around it.

“Yo Nutter! We came to check up on you.” Sour called out to the dim room.

Once again, no reply.

“Do you think they’re asleep?" Jim offered with hope in his tone.

Sour Patch didn’t respond.

Sour stepped inside, careful to not step or trip on any of the “trinkets”.

      Sour Patch turned on the flashlight on his phone to help navigate through the mess, Jimmy followed close behind him. Sour walked towards Nutter’s bunk, where his friend looked to be sleeping.

“Oh phew, they’re just napping.”

“Uhh, Patchi?”

“Hm? Yeah whatsup?”

“You might wanna see this.”

      Sour Patch turned around to see his friend holding up an empty bottle, he squinted his eyes to read the label. ‘Prometh with Codeine Cough Syrup’

“SHIT. Not again.” Sour Patch breath quickened before pulling out his phone and dialing a number.

—-----------------------------------

      Gale was having a wonderful Sunday morning as she played with her cats and re-watched Hamilton for the 22nd time this week and, of course, sang along.

“I hid the letter and I race to her place, say ‘I’LL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE’ she said ‘NO SIRRR’ half dress, unapologetic, a mess, she looked pathetic she cried ‘PLEASE DON’T GOO SIRR-”

      Gale’s singing was shortly cut off by her phone going off, startling her half to death. She swiftly picked up her phone from the couch and cleared her throat before speaking.

“Hellooo~ this is Gain!” she said in a cheery tone like she usually did.

“Hey Gale” Sour’s voice was much less cheery than Gale’s.

“Oh! Morning Patchi! Whatsup?”

“Are you free today?”

“Hmmm”

She decisively looked at the clock, it was about 10:30 AM right now.

“I’m having lunch with my girlfriends at 3:00 then going to the aquarium with them later, but I'm free now! Where do you wanna go?”

There was a sigh on the other end before the other spoke.

“So Gale, you’re a pharmacist right?

“Well I’m studying to be one but basically yeah. Why? What’s up?” her cheery tone became dampened with worry.

“Uhm, what do you do when someone overdoses on cough syrup?” Sour’s voice sounded meek and small.

“WHAT!? WHAT HAPPENED??” she exclaimed into her phone.

“Calm down! Isn’t there some kind of drug that reverses overdoses?”

“It depends on what the active ingredient is! Narcan is only effective against opioids and if the active ingredient is dextromethorphan then it will have no effect due to it not being an opioid.”

“....Huh?”

“UGH, What did it say on the bottle? Like what brand was it? Nyquil?”

“Uh, no it says ‘Prometh with Codeine Cough syrup’.”

“Oh thank goodness”

“Huh?”

“It’s rare that a codeine overdose can kill you, and since it’s an opioid the Narcan should be able to reverse its effects.”

“That’s great!”

“I’ll go pick some up from the store, but where are you? And who overdosed???”

“Who do you think?”

There was silence on the line before she spoke.

“Is Jimmy with you?”

“Yup”

“Listen to me closely” her voice was serious.

“I’m going to need you to get a trashbag or trashcan, anything for them to puke in, also go get a water bottle for them to drink because of the dehydration, I’ll be over there in 15 minutes, make sure one of you stays with them at all times. Do you understand?” 

“Yes ma’am!”

“Ok i’ll see you soon, bye bye.”

      She hung up before grabbing her keys, wallet, and phone and practically ran out of her house in her loungewear and uggs. She got into her car and sped to the nearest CVS. She got out of the car and booked it to the pain relief aisle. She grabbed the Naloxone spray and Ipecac before scurrying towards the self checkout, she scanned her items, paid (making sure it didn’t look suspicious despite her obvious panic) then skedaddled to her car and started the engine.

—-----------------------------------

“What’d she say?” Jimmy was sitting at the head of Nutter’s bed, playing with their shaggy hair, he was unnervingly calm.

“I know this has happened before, but it’s still an overdose! How can you be so calm??”

“Meh, I used to be friends with a group of kids who would do Codeine cough syrup regularly, it was obviously not good, but only one bottle of the stuff never killed them as long as they threw it up or took some of that Narcan stuff.” he said with ease.

Sour didn’t bother to hide the flabbergasted look on his face.

“Anyways, what’d she say?” Jim chose to ignore his friend’s hanging jaw.

“Oh right! She said for one of us to stay with Nutter while another gets something to puke in and a waterbottle.”

“I’ll stay here, I’m pretty sure there’s a vending machine on the outside of the building, I also have a puke bag in my car.” Jimmy tossed Sour his keys.

“On it! I’ll be right back.”

      Sour sped out of the building as fast as he could, however the dormitory was still a maze to him so he didn’t find the exit as fast as he would’ve liked. Once he finally reached the exit he ran outside and over to where Jim had parked. He unlocked the truck and began frantically looking around for the damn bag.

“Where is it…” he muttered angry curses under his breath.

“Yes! Found it!” he proclaimed as he grabbed the bag, locked the truck, then headed over to the vending machine. 

      It was a dollar for a water bottle, he paid the money then clicked the water icon, as he did he saw Gain’s car pulling up. The water bottle dropped down the shoot and he grabbed it before making his way over to this frazzled friend.

“Gale! Over here!”

Gale stepped out of her white care before running towards him.

“Let’s go.”

      They went to the second floor, made a right, then went down the secret hatch, went left by raccoon city- ok yeah I think you guys get it at this point.

      Sour Patch opened the door and the two promptly rushed in and Gale got to work. She had Nutter laid out on their back as she lined up the medicine and shot it up their nose, then when Nutter was spooked awake, Gale had them consume the Ipecac and had them vomit up a slew of the dark colored medicine into the bag. 

“Eugh, I feel like straight trash.” their words were sluggish as they slowly came to their senses.

“Nutter! You’re awake!” Gale's cheery tone came back.

“Ugh, too loud, what happened?” 

“Ok, first of all, rude. Second, you OD’d on cough syrup.” she simply stated.

“Oh yeahhh, I do remember that.” they slurred out their words.

“Here, drink some more water.” Sour helpfully requested as he held out the bottle of water. 

“Thanks.” 

“Soo uh, why’d you drink allat cough syrup anyways?” Jim questioned from where he was sitting on the floor.

“Oh, the voices were telling me to.” Nutter responded like they were talking about the weather and NOT about voices that were telling them to drink cough syrup.

Everyone just looked at them in shock until Gale sighed.

“You didn’t take your medication, did you?”

“Whoops.” they shrugged.

Chapter Text

      Gale drove Sour back to his apartment in the late afternoon. It was 1:30pm and Gale had to get to her lunch and aquarium date(s?). They had agreed at Nutter’s place that it wouldn’t be safe for them to be left alone so Jimmy offered to stay the night with them. They bid their goodbyes after hanging out and just talking for two more hours.

      Sour Patch really liked Gale's car, it always had a very pleasant scent to it, infact, everything Gale owned smelled good. From her hair, to her house, and Sour wasn’t just being creepy by the way, everyone said that about Gale. 

However, the one thing Sour didn’t like was driving with Gale.

“You say, the price of my wars is not a price that they’re willing to pay.. INSANNNE. You cheat with the French now I'm fighting with France and with Spain. I’m so blue-”

      That was the one thing Sour didn’t particularly like about his dear flowery friend, is her severe, and I mean SEVERE. Obsession with, not just Hamilton, but the entirety of musical theatre. And Sour Patch really wouldn’t be bothered by it as much, if it weren’t for HOW MANY REFERENCES SHE MAKES IN A DAY ALONE.  

      Gale continued singing unbeknownst to the inner monologue her sour friend was brewing in his mind. *Holy crap she even does the accents* he thought amazed as she went from a heavy British one to an angry American, impressive.

      Once they had finally arrived at Sour’s place, he quickly opened the door and ushered himself out, catching Gale’s attention.

“What’s the hurry for? You weren’t intruding.” she stated matter of factly.

      Not wanting to hurt her feeling by the fact that he was actually rushing out as to not have to sit through her rapping for another second, he replied:

“Don’t you have a thing you still gotta get ready for in like-” he glanced down at his phone “two hours?”

“HOLY SHIT TWO HOURS?” She frantically put the gear shift in drive. 

“Thanks for reminding me Patchi, man what would I do without you!” she said before backing up out of the parking space. 

“Oh and Patchi?” she called from her rolled-down window.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll see you on the other side of the war-”

“GO HOME YOU NERD” He shouted playfully as Gale cackled driving away.

Man, how did he get so lucky with his friends?

      Sour walked up to his apartment with a smile lingering on his face, he’ll text and check up with Jimmy when he gets settled. He unlocked the door, took off his shoes, and faceplanted straight into the couch. He hadn’t realized how tired he was until now, although it did make sense. Staying up late at 711 last night, having to wake-up early to head over to Nutter’s place. Man, he was just running around this whole weekend, guess it’s better than being in a depressive slump.

“Is there anything I still gotta do today?” he muttered out into the empty apartment, it appears Oreo already left for his “meeting” of some kind.

Sour went through his mental checklist before pulling out his phone.

Slimmy Jimmy

Sour Patchi: Yo bro how’s it going with you and Nutter?

Slimmy Jimmy: Oh they crashed and are taking a nap right now. I’m just finishing up some reading for my classes and stuff.

Sour Patchi: I didn’t know you had to read for animal husbandry

Slimmy Jimmy: Well duh dude, what, you think we just stand around all day petting goats and milking cows?

Sour Patchi:....

Slimmy Jimmy: Oh dear lord. 

Sour felt his eyes begin to lose focus as he let sleep take him. 

—-----------------------------------

      Oreo’s morning had been just rancid. His meeting with his study group had apparently been moved to Monday and they had apparently stopped meeting up on weekends (which he had not been notified about) so he just looked like an idiot standing in the study room by himself. 

“Ugh this is just great” he muttered from under his breath.

      He had made his way to one of his professor’s classrooms to ask him a question, most other college professors would be taking the day off but this specific one practically never took a day off. Plus his classroom was right around the corner.

Oreo knocked on the door.

“Mr. Ryuzaki?” he called out.

There was a grumble that sounded like a “Come in.”

Oreo opened the door and stepped inside, he walked up to his professor’s desk.

“Ah Mr. Bisquit, what can I do for you?” he sat hunched over in his usual odd position, none of his students could ever figure out why he sat that way. He was typing inhumanly fast on his computer. 

      Mr. Ryuzaki didn’t look up from his computer screen as he spoke, it looked like he was doing research for something. It was hard to tell considering that the entire text was in Japanese characters, which was also confusing because Mr. Ryuzaki had more European features rather than Japanese.

“Mr. Bisquit?” he called out again, this time actually looking up from his computer.

“Oh! Right, sorry about that. I just wanted to ask if I could get an extension on-”

“Hold it right there.” The professor interrupted him.

“Huh?”

“First, spacing out is never a good look for any lawyer, it puts one at a disadvantage in a situation where retaining information is crucial.” he took a sip of his ridiculously sweet tea, you could smell the sugar. “Second, I’ve written explicitly in my syllabus that I do not do ‘extensions’. Surely you wouldn’t dare to tell me that you didn’t read the entire thing before agreeing to it?” he kept his tone even as he took another sip.

“Of course I did! I’ve just forgotten-”

“‘Just forgetting’ isn’t going to work as an excuse. This entire conversation alone is enough grounds for me to kick you out of my class.” Mr. Ryuzaki deadpanned.

“But sir!-”

“Now, now, no need to torture your poor students Elle.” There was a third voice now, it was smooth like caramel.

Oreo turned around and was met with uh, let’s just say, not what he was expecting.

      The man before him was tall, just a little taller than Oreo himself, he had caramel brown hair that framed his face, and oh wow his face *Is that dude a Goddess!?* Oreo thought to himself. He had a nice jawline that ended in a sharp chin, his eyes were that same shade of brown, just a bit darker and almost gleamed red at certain angles. He was wearing, no, adorned a black suit that looked tailored to his fit physique, he also had on a nice watch that looked like it was from overseas.

“How long have you been standing there?” Mr. Ryuzaki spoke. Oreo had almost completely forgotten where he was and what he was doing.

“Oh, just long enough to hear you threaten a student!” The man sounded like he was scolding the other now.

“I’m just simply preparing him for the real world.” Mr. Ryuzaki’s voice continued in its monotonous tone.

“Well he’s just a college student, and we both know what that was like.”

“Ah yes, what was it, six? ten years ago?” he spoke with a slight fondness in his tone.

*Wait what?? I thought they were both in their twenties!?!!* Oreo genuinely could not wrap his head around how these two look so young.

“Ah well fine, I suppose, I'll let you off the hook just this once, but don’t expect that extension.” Mr. Ryuzaki emphasized his last point.

“Yes sir! and thank you Mr. uhm-”

“Yagami, I teach the police department next door.”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Yagami, well i have some more errands to run, i’ll see you on monday Mr. Ryuzaki.” 

“Likewise” the two said in unison. 

—-----------------------------------

      The entirety of this day just felt like a personal attack on Oreo and to his pride. It felt like some kind of humiliation ritual. He even tried to get coffee to try and feel better but they ended up not having any half & half so he had to drink it black. Wow, today was shitty.

      Oreo just sat in his car and face planted onto the steering wheel, he didn't even feel like driving home, he just wanted to stay there. Until his phone started to ring. Oreo just sighed as he fished his phone from the pocket in his slacks, and put the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” he said in a bemused and bored voice.

“Oh, hey Oreo. I didn’t expect you to pick up.” oh great it was his annoying roommate who always acted awkward around him.

“What do you want?” 

“Jeez, isn’t someone Mr. grumps today.”

“What. Do. You. Want.”

“I just wanted to know that you were alive, I know you said that you would be there for a while but it’s already like 6pm and you’re not back yet.”

Oreo felt a pang of guilt for being so moody.

“Uh yeah, sorry I’m heading back now.” he grimaced at how he sounded so emotionally constipated.

“Ok. I already ordered some food if you want it or whatever.” Even Sour Patch sounded awkward.

“Ok yeah sure.” Oreo said quickly.

“Uhm so uh bye.” Sour hung up.

Jeez, why can’t either of them just be normal around each other?

Chapter Text

“I’m just saying that simply because you believe that your opinion is right, doesn’t mean that it is!” Sour Patch exclaimed.

“I’m not saying that my opinion is right, I'm just saying that yours is wrong.” Oreo spoke his rebuttal through clenched teeth as he gripped the steering wheel tight.

      Oreo and Sour Patch always drove to campus together, it was only natural considering how Sour couldn’t drive and didn’t own a car. And Oreo (while he would rather drink expired milk than admit it outloud) feels better driving with someone else in the car. So it’s mutually beneficial, however that doesn’t stop their bickering whatsoever.

“Jeez, it's ALWAYS the Criminal Justice majors who believe that they’re right and that everyone around them is wrong.”

“I didn’t say that! You're exaggerating to be dramatic.”

“Well naturally, I AM a journalist after all.”

“Ahem, erm actually you mean journalist MAJOR.”

“ErM aCtUalLy” Sour repeated in a mocking tone. Oreo sent him a side eye that would've been a death glare if he didn’t have to focus on the road.

      The rest of the ride was in silence, the tension in that car was so thick you could've cut it with a butter knife.

—-----------------------------------

      Sour had his first class at 10:00 AM, it was a lecture that went on for about 2 hours, then he had a 3 hour break before his noon lecture which is another 2 hours, and last but not least his last class for Monday which was from 4pm to 6pm. Writing out his schedule felt like writing a math problem.

      Oreo’s schedule was a bit different. He still had 2 hour classes, however he had most of his classes on Monday and he had his first one earlier at 8am. It was genuinely a miracle how he was able to wake up Sour with enough time to get there. Along with how he manages to be able to wear a suit for a whole day and do his whole skincare routine before seven. Sour Patch usually just wears sweat pants or baggy jeans with a hoodie like a normal person.

     Usually how they would function is that they would drive to campus together, then stay on campus until their classes were done for the day. Then they would drive home. Their campus was huge, full of cafes, vending machines, a park, and multiple libraries and study spaces. This was where they would usually spend their time when they didn’t have classes.

“Heyyyyy Patchi!” Gale chirped as she joined Sour Patch on the bench where he was working on his laptop.

“Oh, morning Gale.” 

“Woah you sound more dead and lifeless than usual. Did your roommate keep you up?” her tone was playful as if to insinuate something.

Her innuendo went completely over Sour’s sleep deprived head.

“Nah, it’s just annoying having to wake up so early on Mondays.” Sour Patch is not and never will be a morning person.

“Yeesh yeah, but at least it’s not like that for the whole week, right?”

“Yeah, we have late classes tomorrow, thank god.”

Sour glanced at the time in the corner of his screen. It was 12:30 pm.

“You don’t have any classes to head to?” he asked.

“Nah, my next class is in like an hour. What about you?”

“Oh my next class is at two.”

“Luckyyyyy”

There a pause

“Oh also, can I ask something?” Gale's tone shifted.

“Uhm, yeah what’s up?”

“Why the heck are you and Oreo roommates?” she sounded bewildered.

“What do you mean?” Sour’s face scrunched with confusion.

“Well basically-” she took a deep breath before continuing “so I had actually ran into him earlier today for the first time and well it’s not like he’s rude or anything but i’m just confused as to why and/or how YOU know and are roommates with someone who has fancy hair, looks stunning, and wears a suit everyday.” she exhaled.

“I- well.” Sour was still struggling to process all that information.

“Oh also he looks like 25, how old is he even!?”

“Oh, that’s because of the suit and tall shoes, he wears them because he thinks it makes people respect him more. Trust me, when you’re used to seeing him in silk pajamas and fluffy slippers you can tell that he’s my age.”

“Woah, yeah I guess that does make sense. You’re…. 21 right?” her mind blanked out on how old her friend was.

“Yup, we’ve been roommates for a year already.”

“That brings me back to my question.”

“Hm?”

“How did you guys become roommates?”

There was a beat of silence.

“Oh, would you look at the time?" Sour said offhandedly.

“Hey! you're trying to change the subject!”

“Oh whatever do you mean? I’m simply trying to be a good friend by reminding you that it’s already 15 minutes till 1pm.” Sour didn’t even try to sound convincing.

“Wait really- OH CRAP I GOTTA GO” Gale began rapidly gathering her things.

“Yeup.”

“Ok, talk to you later gator!” she waved back at him before speeding off to her lecture.

Sour waved back and watched his friend run off while taking a sip of his coffee. He wished that he could be back in bed.

Chapter Text

     It was Thursday night when Sour was awoken by footsteps outside of his door. He sat up, groggy eyed as he slowly rose and walked to the door, still in his teenage mutant ninja turtle pajamas.

—-----------------------------------

“But then my argument would be flawed, if I were to pinpoint the loophole within their accusation, and use evidence from the testimony to back it up I should be able to-”

      Oreo stopped in the middle of his pacing when he spotted someone leaning their side on the doorframe in his room. He stared, trying to make sense of the blobs of washed out color, till the blurry blobs spoke.

“Oreo, why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” Sour Patch’s voice sounded rough from lack of use, sleep was evident in his tone.

“Oh, it’s just you-” a relieved sigh came from his lips

“What- Did you think I was an intruder? If so, then why did you just stand there like a dumbass???” Sour scrunched his face in over exaggerated confusion.

“No, I thought it was another sleep hallucination.” he stated plainly.

There was a beat of silence

“....Oreo have you slept in the past oh I dunno, 72 hours??”

“Oh I had a nap, why?”

      Sour sighed as he shifted his body weight from the doorframe, he walked towards Oreo’s study stakeout camp, and shut his laptop closed without a word. 

“Wh- Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” Oreo tried shooing Sour Patch away from his sacred laptop and countless notebooks “don’t you have homework to do aslwell?” 

“I finish mine in the library, also I don’t get a mountain of work every other day because my professors hate me” Sour said as he wrangled the laptop out of Oreo’s grip.  

“My professors don’t hate me!” Oreo objected.

“Jeez, Do you even know what time it is?” Sour, who still looked half asleep, spoke as he began to clean up all of the papers and latte stains that drowned the poor desk.

“What are you doing?” 

“Making sure that you don’t go crazy and burnout like me.”

“Burnout? Please! I could never achieve such-”

Oreo was cut off by a pillow being thrown right at his face.

“HEY!” His anger was drowned out by laughter.

“Oh my gahd you should look at how angry you look right now!” Sour could barely speak between laughs and tears.

“....It wasn’t that funny..” Oreo grumbled under his breath.

“Yeah, yeah” Sour Patch rolled his eyes while fondly sighing.

“What are you doing now?” Oreo watched over Sour’s shoulder as the other worked.

“I’m trying to make your bed comfortable, you have such a big bed yet it remains untouched, it even has dust on it! When exactly was the last time you slept in your bed??”

“Uhm… well uh, you see..” Oreo trailed off.

Sour groaned as he held his face in his hands.

“Why are you fussing over me anyways? Surely you have better things to do.”

“Yeah maybe, but being roommates with you for about a year already, I know how bad it can get when you’re like this, and sue me if I wanna make sure my driver and co-tenant doesn’t go crazy or depressed.” Sour laid down the comforter 

There was a silence after that little burst of emotion, the atmosphere in the room had changed.

“...Are you trying to say that you…care about me?” Oreo’s face was puzzled.

“What? You think I'm just some kind of heartless sugar junkie?” Sour deadpanned, facing his roommate now.

“If I say yes will you throw another pillow at me?” and before he could get a response, as the prophecy foretold, a pillow came flying straight for his face, except this time Oreo caught it before the impact, just to flip it around and smack Sour on the side of the head.

“Hey!” Sour’s words couldn’t sound serious as he began to laugh.

“Payback- Ow!” Oreo got countered by another pillow assaulting him.

      And they just kind of stayed like that for a moment. Whacking each other with pillows at an ungodly hour and laughing as if they didn’t have lectures early tomorrow. Ah college life, what a fever dream.

      After a while they just flopped down on the bed, Sour glanced at the clock. The time was 4:30 AM, 2 whole hours had passed since Sour was rudely awoken by his not so rude roommate. Sour hadn’t been inside of Oreo’s room in a while, it had hardly changed, only thing that changed was the layer of dust that coated everything, even his own tv that Sour was always jealous of. 

“Hey, can I watch South Park?” Sour Patch said as he jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards the tv. 

“You’re not going to sleep?”

“Nah I will, but it takes me a while to fall asleep.”

“How do I know that this entire thing wasn’t just an elaborate ploy played by you to be able to watch South Park in bed?” Oreo said in a joking manner.

“Ok first of all, if I wanted to do it that bad I would’ve figured out a wayyyyy easier way, second, shush and just go change into something you can actually sleep in.” Sour gestured to Oreo’s current slacks and half unbuttoned and untucked dress shirt.

“Alright, alright, there’s no reason to criticize me.” Oreo rolled his eyes before turning around and heading towards the bathroom.

—-----------------------------------

      Once he exited out in his silk pajamas with his under eye moisturizer patches on, he noticed that his homunculus (short artificial life form) of a roommate was curled up under the blankets and sound asleep. Oreo smiled to himself for no particular reason before crawling under the covers and for the first time in months, slept peacefully without any dreams or night terrors.

Chapter Text

      It was a stormy Sunday morning, the apartment was quiet, save for the sound of the rain pattering down the windows. Sour Patch laid in bed, disheveled and looked extremely worse for wear. The silence was perturbed by his sudden tossing, turning and occasional groans of discomfort. This went on for a short moment before he cracked an eye open, just for him to immediately close it again due to the bright light coming in through the window, assaulting his already vulnerable state.

      “Awh, hell.” he grumbled under his breath. He groped the wall behind him till he found the open end of his blackout curtain and pulled it closed, leaving him shrouded in much wanted darkness.

      What could he have possibly done last night in order to cause such a nasty headache? Which ultimate deity did he personally insult in order for them to feel the need to charge this attack? Or perhaps he just got so much brain damage that it actively hurts his head-

      Sour’s thoughts were cut off by the soft clicking of his door opening. He creaked open his eyes and let them adjust to the darkness before setting his view on a familiar face.

      “Well good morning sleepy head, didn’t expect you to wake up so early.” Oreo’s voice was playful, but not teasing. His quieter voice helped to partly soothe the screaming and pounding that was currently happening within Sour’s mind. 

“What happened?” was all Sour could muster up through his pitiful weak voice. 

Oreo chuckled to himself, in an obviously much better state than his poor roommate. 

“Well, do you want the long story that your friend Gain explained to me this morning, or the shorthand that your other friend “Jim” had to tell me in under three minutes before he dropped you off?”

“Jus’ give me the latter,” Sour said, slurring his words as he spoke.

“Fine, fine, but before I do, I should probably give you what I initially came in here to do beforehand,” Oreo supplied with a soft look in his eyes. A look that poor sick Victorian child Sour Patch couldn’t pick up in their current dastardly state.

      The sounds of a pill bottle opening and being shook could be heard before Oreo stuck his hand out towards Sour. 

“Here, take two of these and wash them down with water.” 

      Sour obeyed with no objections as he took the medicine without a word. His head was already feeling better… than before at the very least. The water also helped his dried out throat. His eyes felt irritated and his body still felt like weights were tied to his bones. He tried pushing himself up against his headrest before a hand stopped him. 

“Just lay down for now, it’s probably best that you let your body rest after last night.”

Once again Sour obliged, although with a small huff this time.

“So are you gonna explain or…??” He said impatiently.

“Alright well, the way Jim put it, all of you got quote ‘blackout drunk by the lake before getting in the car and doing doughnuts in the middle of a random highway, ‘fore seeing a deer run right in front of us and next thing we know we’re swerving straight into the lake, then swerving AGAIN,’ and by this point he says that you were pretty roughed up, but he then continued ‘Poor Patchi was already so dis-come-bobulated,’ his words, not mine ‘but then we ended up crashin’ into a tree! Can’t remember for the life o’ me who was behind the wheel, but my money’s on Nutter, they're always up to somethin’ when they get their hands on that gooey stuff.’  and then he just drove off.”

“Wow, well that would answer some things.” Sour deadpanned, digging the balls of his hands into his tired and swollen eyes.

“You were already knocked out cold by the time you got here so I decided to just check your basic vitals before letting you sleep. You have a minor head wound that’s being made infinitely worse by your hangover, and you have a sprained wrist, which I ran down to the CVS to go get you a splint cast. I also got you some pain medication while down there.” 

There was a beat of silence, both just looking into each other's eyes, before Oreo continued.

“I know that you know, but you’re way too reckless. I thought you said that you hated going drinking out by the lake because you said that it was ‘boring’?” he scolded.

     Sour Patch looked away, slightly ashamed at how much he must’ve…worried? his roommate. Was he actually worried? Well obviously if he’s gone this far to take care of…

“Sour Patch? Are you still there?” Oreo said, waving a hand in front of the other's blank face. 

“Sour?”

The man in question proceeded to crash forward onto the other. 

“Sour!?” Oreo began to panic, trying to shake Sour Patch to make sure he didn’t become concussed or something. His panic subsided as he felt the rise and fall of the other’s chest.

“Oh thank goodness.” he sighed.