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As the title says, here is my list of reasons why I believe that although RonToto can be considered canon, they cannot be called healthy relationships. The reason why I'm doing this analysis at all is quite simple. To be honest, I'm just tired of watching how many people extol this relationship to the ideal, and in some cases it comes down to unhealthy fanaticism (Twitter is an interesting place). By no means am I saying that I hate all RonToto fans or anything like that, and even more so I forbid something. I just want to cover this topic with my analysis of the relationship between these characters as much as possible, given that the manga is over and they obviously won't give us any more information. (About Toto, it's purely how I see him, considering how little we've been given in the manga as a full-fledged person.) I am by no means a professional, a psychologist, or someone important, so read everything with a grain of salt and just draw your own conclusions.
The main reason why this relationship doesn't work is that Toto doesn't love Ron in the way Ron loves Toto.
And now the logical question is, what does this even mean?
Let's start with Toto, and what do we even know about him. As Amano Akira herself called him, he is a "pure and naive idiot." He is one of those positive characters who help maintain optimism and fighting spirit in difficult situations. Isshiki is a representative of those people who first do and then think + those who are guided by their emotions more than logic. Toto, who works with feelings, can often even disregard logic in order to save someone's life. Who has empathy, who feels people very well, regardless of whether they are murderers or not. Because for him, everyone has the right to life. And now the question is how to distinguish this person's sincere love from his concern? Because in this case, caring =/= love, corny because Totomaru even cares about criminals, the M. Family (Milo, Alice).
Totomaru cared enough about Milo to wonder what exactly had happened to him for him to start using such a twisted method of killing. Interestingly, no one, including Winter, thought about it. (Volume 11, chapter 95, pages 9-12)
Isshiki literally went after Alice when the explosion occurred, simply because he cared about her enough to try to persuade her to live. He apologized for his lies, and was able to bring the light back into Alice's eyes. At the same time, Alice literally tried to kill him and Ron several times. (Volume 18, 169 chapters, 10-12 pages)
And looking at these vivid examples, can we say that Toto loves someone besides his grandmother? Yes, he cares about his friends, Ron, Amamiya, but how much care is it, and how much love?
At the same time, Totomaru is an extremely private person who has a more "logical" love for the people with whom he communicates. This is evidenced by the fact that, as shown in the manga, he does not make contact outside of professional relationships on his own. Almost all of his acquaintances and friends are related to work, and most of them he did not even want to make* (more on this in another paragraph). He has a very closed lifestyle, as indicated by several things. 1) His workaholism. As mentioned in the manga, he almost never takes vacations and works almost constantly. This means that he has little time for his personal life. 2) His house. (Volume 16, chapter 139). He lives in a fairly rich apartment, but they are clearly for 1 person, which means he rarely receives guests. Judging by the arrangement of the furniture, and the limited number of decorations (which are more basic than personal). 3) The lack of any information about his personal preferences in food, movies, hobbies. 4) No communication with his colleagues other than Kiku and Amamiya is shown. Although it was shown in chapter 1 that his desk is called a "trash can". 5) Unwillingness to celebrate your birthday in the company.
Nevertheless, despite his isolation from the world, he is ready to take care of a person until he decides that he can exist on his own. To me, he seems like a kind of doctor, which is appropriate, given that his image is based on Watson. He is ready to take care of his "patient" until he gets better, after which he will immediately leave because he believes that his job is done. He is ready to leave Ron without asking his opinion, because he believes that he has achieved his goal of healing Ron. (Volume 18, chapter 163-164, page 4) It's just noticeable that he's come to terms with this fact (very quickly, by the way) and is ready to move forward. Only people who had already thought about it would be able to make such a decision so quickly. To me, he looks more like a "selfless doctor." Toto rather loves not the people themselves, but the idea of saving them. As long as there is an opportunity to save them from something or even from themselves, he will try to take care of them, pay attention to them, etc.
In fact, if you look at it from this point of view, Toto helps mostly because of his nature. It's not that Ron is special to him, rather, Ron looked like he needed to be rescued. Because he suffered because of the injustice of others, which Toto could not stand. That's why Totomaru did it. And now that he sees that it is no longer necessary, he is ready to leave because he expected such an outcome. Perhaps Totomaru never saw anything special about Ron, rather, Ron was the embodiment of the meaning of his work and his life. He's seen Ron grow up, and he thinks he's ready for the end when his existence is no longer necessary.
Because of this, I believe that Toto does NOT love Ron, but only the idea that he can be saved/helped/make the world a better place if he help him.
While Ron is the exact opposite. Ron strives for the truth, he likes to excite his mind, he thinks with his brain first, and then about the emotions of others. As mentioned earlier, he did not want emotional connections with others because he did not consider it necessary. However, his soul still needed it.
Ron is inherently selfish, he has used, is using, and will continue to use others for his own purposes. However, he is growing up, he has achieved personal growth and now uses people, benefiting them and establishing emotional connections. So, he's selfish, but now he cares about the feelings of others to some extent. He is not ready to break up with Toto, as he is already emotionally attached to him. He would prefer to do everything to prevent this from happening.
Nevertheless, Ron is shown to be a much more emotional person than it seems at first glance. We were shown that deep down he has compassion, guilt, empathy, etc. For readers, this is a more open book, because we are shown his experiences, and they make him come alive. Which is another difference between him and Toto.
By the way, what I find very ironic is that a logical person like Ron sees Toto as a part of his soul, his inner world. While the more empathetic Toto thinks of Ron as nothing more than the meaning of his work/life in a more logical way.
And that's the main difference. Ron sees Toto literally as a part of himself, without whom he literally cannot function, which borders on addiction. He trusts and loves him completely.
But for Toto, Ron is rather nothing more than a living embodiment of his inner ideals, which he would very much like to stand next to (but not love). However, unlike Ron's love, Toto is not dependent on him, and is able to break this bond whenever he pleases.
While Ron does his best to reach out to people after isolation, trying to establish as many connections as possible so as not to feel lonely again, Toto's approach is completely different. Totomaru was initially isolated from the rest of the world in a comfortable way, establishing the most minimal contact with people and never becoming particularly attached to others. He just did and talked, just as much as the job required of him. And if Ron's isolation was caused by selfishness and arrogance, then Totomaru had a different reason, rather, I tend to his general disinterest in others on a constant, mundane basis.
So, the main reason for the entire analysis has been stated. Let's move on to the following points.
1) Ron's dependence on Toto.
There were many points where Ron literally couldn't move without Toto. At first, he didn't even leave the house without Totomaru, so I don't see anything surprising in this. Without it, he becomes very nervous and irritable. Moreover, towards the end, it was clearly shown that without Toto, he cannot even live normally, as he sees him everywhere. (Volume 18, chapter 170), which clearly speaks from his obvious dependence.
2) Ron's control over Toto's life.
This is where the fun begins, because many might say that Toto himself agreed to be everywhere with Ron. And in a sense, they will be right, but this should not cover Ron's tendency to always think that Toto will be with him, and plan the future for the two of them, while never asking Totomaru's opinion. This is clearly seen when Ron talked about opening his own agency on murder island without asking Toto's opinion. (Volume 18, chapter 160)
Another moment, friends. Ohhh, I never liked that moment, considering that Totomaru never wanted to become friends with the people Ron introduced him to (with the possible exception of Kawasemi). It's just obvious that even though he considers them acquaintances, he's never been particularly friendly to them. And considering that he never directly talked about his intention to be friends with them, then indirectly Ron forced them on him. The same goes for the students, as Ron simply refused to teach and shifted the responsibilities to Toto. Spitz – literally because he needed Ron, Mofu – Ron needed her medical services, Chikori – she's a fan of detectives, Kay and Elmer – because of Ron, Amamiya - it's very difficult with her considering her attitude to Toto and the fact that she's the only one who came to visit him in the hospital, The only ones who seem even slightly sincere are Kawasemi and Winter. He was literally given no choice in this matter. He literally doesn't invite anyone to go out with him for most of the manga. The only times he went out with someone was when Ron invited him, or Ron imposed himself, as in the case of Nien-Nien.
A separate moment is his birthday. To begin with, he either didn't want to celebrate it, or he forgot, or he wanted to be alone to celebrate it. It's clear that he was literally minding his own business before Ron wrote to him. And even though he's glad they did something to him, Ron still used it as an excuse to solve the case again. Moreover, did anyone present even know Totomaru's age? The thing is, even though the party is for Toto, everyone forgot about him again, paying more attention to Ron and the cabbage case. Do I need to say that it at least looks ugly? Not to mention the fact that Ron was cooking for Totomaru again with sugar, which he knows Toto doesn't like. (Chapter 58-Chapter 59)
3) Ignoring Toto's problems.
Ron simply turns a blind eye to Toto's obvious self-esteem issues and his near-suicidal tendencies for most of the manga. He acts like everything is fine, which is far from the case. When Toto tries to share his worries with him, he literally shuts him up so as not to listen to it. (Volume 18, chapter 163). Should I say that this is bad? I think it's obvious.
4) The lack of any visible support from Ron.
It's an interesting point, but while Ron often uses "we", Toto almost always uses "I". For example, in chapter 95, he uses only the pronoun "I" when describing events, or in chapter 61, Toto says Amamiya and Ron don't believe Nora. The habit of identifying oneself from others is very strange for a character like Toto, given that he should be open and joyful.
This, as well as Toto's strange surprise when Ron shows him a bit of care (which is rare), suggests that Totomaru is the kind of person who is used to solving everything alone. And if earlier Ron was more actively worried about Toto's well-being, then later he just didn't care.
Now just the small points. I read that everything described above happened because of the difference in upbringing (Japanese and British), which of course could play a role, but cannot be responsible for all the problems.
As for the expressions of emotions, if we compare which of these two is more open, it will be Ron, since Totomaru has a standard set of emotions for most of the manga (if not all), which does not change except for some moments (and that is when his face becomes blank or no one sees him). I still believe that in some moments he is intentionally stupid, and clearly more than he himself shows it.
About the anime adaptation. It's more complicated here because anime Toto and manga Toto are slightly different characters at the root. They are quite different in small details, which makes it seem like they are 2 versions of the same person. Ron and the others don't have that problem, by the way.
In a some way, Totomaru Isshiki has isolated himself from everyone: from manga characters and from readers.