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Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release

Summary:

Bucky Barnes is falling.

Notes:

For someone who loves fluff I write a lot of angst.

Work Text:

Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release
Wish for falling through the air to give me some relief

 

They always said that when you die your whole life supposed to flash before your eyes.

They lied.

Because Bucky is falling, he's falling and all he can see is Steve.

All he can hear is Steve screaming his name, he sees fear and tears in his eyes.

Don't cry, Stevie, please. I hate seeing you cry.

Bucky is falling and all he can think about is how thankful he is for knowing Steve. Steve who is his best friend. He can't even rememebr life without Steve Rogers. But he can rememeber a split lip and the most beautiful bluest eyes he's ever seen.

Please, Steve, don't cry.

His father said that Steve is a balast he needed to get rid of, that one day he would get himself killed trying to protect Rogers. Bucky told him to fuck off and mind his own business. He was fourteen and he had never spoke to his father like that. Right after the words left his mouth, he expected pa to be angry, but he wasn't. He just looked sad and didn't say a thing. But after that he was extra nice to Steve, always making sure the Rogers have everything they needed. So of course Bucky needed to know why.

"You're my son and you care about him. I tried to stop it, but it was already too late when I started. I can't let you have a broken heart, son."

He didn't understand. Heartbroken? Because of Steve? That wasn't possible. But only when Bucky grew up and his father was long dead he realized what he meant.

Because every bruise on Steve's body made his heart ache.

Because every time he danced with a girl and saw Steve standing alone his heart bleeded.

Because every time he walked with Steve and saw a couple being so in love that his own heart broke a little, he thought "Why can't I be like this with my best pal?"

Oh, how stupid he was. Even his own father saw the truth when Bucky was blind.

Bucky closes his eyes. The last thing he sees is Steve. He's glad.

Because only now when he's falling he understood that he already has fallen.

 

�Because falling's not the problem, when I'm falling I'm at peace
It's only when I hit the ground it causes all the grief