Chapter Text
Regulus stared at himself in his brother's mirror. What he saw made him want to vomit, the curve at his hips, the slight raise at his chest, his chubby face, the long dark locks falling to his waist. It was horrendous, his body that he hated for a reason he didn’t even know.
He starred a little bit longer. He was only 10 years old and his brother would be leaving this year, leaving him with Walburga and Orion. The 2 people he feared the most. His own parents. Regulus knew how his life was going to turn out. When he got to Hogwarts he would be sorted into Slytherin along with his brothers and cousin. The same house every black was sorted into.
In his second year, his parents would want him to try out for the quidditch team, if he didn’t make it —wich is highly unlikely— his parent would simply pay the head of house or the quidditch coach to get him in.
In his third year, he would take Divination, Ancient runes and Arithmancy like his father.
In his fourth year he would be preparing for his O.W.L’s exams. His parents expects him to have all O’s in all of his classes
In his fifth year, he will take and pass all of his exams with outstanding in every class. His parents will also talk with other pureblodded families about marriage.
In his sixth year, he will have a fiancé and study for his N.E.W.T’s exam and read more into the dark lord and dark magic
In his seventh and final year, he is going to take all his exams. As som as he turns 17 he will bare the dark mark and get married.
After that he is going to be the perfect, pureblooded, rich wife and have lots of kids and the cycle repeats itself. But that is not how Regulus want to spend his life, he didn’t want to be a mother and wife. But he was a girl after all, and girls are only for making kids and get married to connect the families.
”Rhea” his brother yelled. “Mother and father will be down in 1 hour. Mother want us to be done by dinner.”
”Okay Sirius”, Regulus said. He couldn’t help but to feel a bit sick at his name. Rhea. Because that was his name whether he likes it or not. He can’t escape that no matter what. His name ia Rhea and that’s it.
Regulus stared in the mirror before grabbing a pair of scissors. With shaky hands he took his long locks and cut them off. One by one, dark locks fell down on his bedroom floor as his hair became shorter. Until the door opened.
“Rhea have yous seen-“ Sirius paused. “What-what are you doing?”
Regulus didn’t answer for a long wile. “I-i just don’t like long hair. That’s it.”
“Well, mother is not going to be happy about this. What were you thinking? Come here”, Sirius said and grabbed the scissors. “I will do this. She can’t punish you if I did it.”
“Sirius you don’t have too-“
“Shut up Rhea.”
Sirius began to trim his hair so it was short and even. Father wouldn’t be as angry if it looked presentable. They sat in silence for a long while. Probably half an hour. Regulus debated if he should tell Sirius about his game, or if he would find it weird. But it was Sirius, his brother.
“Sirius?”
“Yes?”
“Do you ever pretend that you are a girl?” Regulus asked.
“No. Being a girl seems boring. All the make up and frilly dresses and rules to be good. It would be too much for me. Why?”
“Well. I sometimes like to think that I am a boy, like play pretend”, Regulus almost whispered.
"That's not normal Rhea. You are a girl and you can’t change that”, Sirius’s words stung. Like a dagger in his heart. Regulus wanted to cry. If Sirius didn’t believe it, who would?
“All done Rhea!” Sirius shouted. Regulus looked up. He couldn’t believe what he saw, there he was, but a boy version. The version he saw in his head, the version he so longed to be but never would. “Mother and father will be home in 15 minutes. Better put in our dress robes for dinner.” Regulus squirmed at that. His dusty pink frilly dress that ‘defines your good features’ as his mother had put it. He hated that dress. Truly hated it. How he wished he could wear Sirius’s clothes for dinner.
“Rhea? C’mon hurry up!” Regulus stod upp. His legs were shaking as he walked to his wardrobe. At the left all his dresses hung, one for dinner, one for family dinners and one for big galas and gatherings. Today, he just had to wear his formal dinner dress. That Merlin for that, Regulus hated the gala and gathering dress. It was frilly and he got compliments from his cousins and other pureblood families like the Lestrange’s and Skeeter’s. Regulus picked up his dress and all the other essentials for it, like his stockings, dress shoes and of course, his family ring with the words ‘toujours pur’ engraved next to the black stone.
A few minutes later they heard the crack outside at their door and they quickly ran down the stairs to greet Orion and Walburga.
“Bonjour papa et maman. Comment s'est passée ta journée?” Sirius asked. Orion did not even look up, she just threw his cloak at Creature and walked past them. Walburga, however, stared.
“Rhéa, Orion ne va pas aimer ce que tu as fait à tes cheveux. Fais attention, ma chérie”, she whispered before walking past them.
‘Rhea! Sirius! Get in here. Creature did not make this meal for nothing!” Orion shouted. Regulus took a deep breath and walked into the dining hall after his mother and brother. “Finally. Now, we shall say grace-“ he cut himself of. “Rhea Atria Black. What did you do to your hair? Was it Sirius?”
“Papa non! Je-“
“Yes. It was me father. Pardon”, Sirius said before regulus finished his sentence.
“Sirius. Living room. Now!” His father yelled.
“Orion, can’t this wait until after dinner?”
“No! Don’t you dare question me Walburga. I’m your husband. I’m the man of the house. You have no say in here!” Orion said as he dragged Sirius to the living room.
“Why did you do that to your sister, boy? Are you trying to disgrace our family name?“
“Father, I wanted to cut her hair. I forced her to sit still!”
“Crucio”, his father said and Regulus heard his brothers scream. “The truth!”
“That is the truth!”
“Crucio”, he said again. It went on for what felt like forever, but it was only a few minutes. Every 3 minutes m, his father would repeal the curs only for him to strike again.
“Maman, fais-le arrêter! C’était du ma faute! Je me suis coupé cheveux et il m’a adie pour que je n’ais pas d’ennuis!” Regulus said to his mother.
Walburga looked at him with a sad expression. “Je ne peux pas”, she finally said. “Petite fille stupide”, she whispered. ”I can’t stop him, Rhea. He is the man. And I am just the wife. You heard him.”
“Please…”
Walburga got up and walked to the living room. “That’s enough. The food will get cold, Orion.” She pulled up Sirius and wisperd “Don’t worry.”
*****
After dinner, Walburga took Regulus and Sirius upstairs. She turned to Regulus.
“Pourquoi as-tu fait ça?”, she said.
“I-I…” Regulus stuttered.
“Rhea?”
“No! Not Rhea!”
“What?” His mother and brother asked.
“I-I wanna be a boy” he sobbed quietly.
“A boy? Like Sirius?”
“Yes.”
“Darling, I can’t say I understand but I will always love you. You father can’t know. He will hurt you. Hurt us”, she whispered.
“You don’t believe me…”
“Hey, Sirius said. “We do believe you.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes we do, Rhea”, his mother said.
“No! Not Rhea! I’m in the wrong body, okay? I’m a boy!” He shouted. Walburga felt sorrow for her dau- son. Sh-He was scared, scared of his own father. Walburga felt hatred towards Orion. Orion, the man she was supposed to love. Orion, the man who forced her to act like she didn’t care about her children in front of him. Orion, the man who abused her ever since she was eighteen. The man who ripped her love away from her.
“If you were a boy, I would have named you Regulus Arcturus Black. Do you like that?” She said softly. She could see him mouthing the name. Regulus, Reg-u-lus, Reg. He nodded.
“Bonjour Regulus. Je m’appelle Sirius. Ravi de ter rencontre, mon frère”, Sirius said.
“Salut Regulus. Je m’appelle Walburga. J’ai toujours voulu deux fils.”
“Bonjours maman, Sirius. Je suis Regulus et je suis un garçon”, Regulus giggled. Sirius looked a bit hesitant.
“What does this mean? At Hogwarts, how will we do that?”
“I will find a way. I promise Regulus,” Walburga said, meaning every singe word.
“Maman?” Sirius said hesitantly.
“Yes?”
“Uhm… can you heal me? It really hurt and I think I broke my ribs.”
"Of course, I will be right back.” Walburga walked out, head spinning. How would she manage this? How will she make sure that both of her sons are safe from Orion? She puzzled a bit before snapping out of it. ‘Sirius doit être guéri’.
She stepped into her office, under a a floorboard, she had medicine and potions to help with wounds and curses. She grabbed them before making her way back to Regulus’s room.
“There you go”, she said, working on Sirius’s body. When he was all done, she stood up. “I have to go down now.”
She turned around and walked to the kitchen.
“What were you talking about?” Orion asked.
“I gave them a lecture on what happens when you mess with your appearance. As a punishment, Rhea will keep her hair short”, Orion did not look convinced.
“Come over here”, and she did what she was told. Orion grabbed his wand and pointed it between her eyes. “Legimens”, he said and dove into her mind. She tried to punch down her memories but he was to strong.
‘No! Not Rhea! I’m in the wrong body, okay? I’m a boy!’
‘If you were a boy, I would have named you Regulus Arcturus Black. Do you like that?’
’Salut Regulus. Je m’appelle Walburga. J’ai toujours voulu deux fils.’
Orion came back out. “Is this what you call ‘lecture’? She is confused! She needs a mind healer!” Orion shouted.
“Orion. We need two heirs. Do you want the mane of Black to disappear? If Sirius dies—Rhea and her children become the heirs and they will have Rhea's husband's name! Think about it, we can have two male heirs and the most Noble And Ancient House Of Black will never disappear!” She said.
“No. My final is no.”