Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

James stares at himself on his phone screen for a few moments. He doesn't particularly know what brought him to go live. He was bored, and strumming quietly on his guitar, with lyrics to songs that probably won't ever be sung littered around his desk. He always found comfort in writing songs when his flat got a little too quiet, but there was no band to write songs for anymore. 

Oh my god? 

JAMESSSS

so did you do this on purpose orrrr? 

James clears his throat and continues playing random cords. "Hi guys," he murmurs quietly, scanning the messages popping up on his screen. "I, um... I dunno I was writing and hit a bit of a wall. Thought maybe a chat with you guys would get the juices flowing." 

New music?

are you writing songs?

Dude, we're getting the band back together!

"No, guys I'm not writing music to actually put out. I mean, maybe, one day. I don't have plans to do an independent album anytime soon. I've given a few songs to Remus, though. I don't know if he plans on using them, but...yeah. I've been writing with Sirius, too. The songs I write without him aren't really something he'd record, if you know what I mean. Not his style."

James takes a second to read through a few messages. "Are you working with anyone else? No not really. I mean, I'm sure I could sell some of these songs if I really wanted to, but I guess that doesn't feel right? There are only a few people in the industry I would let sing something I wrote. Maybe I'm a little dramatic, I dunno. I just don't like the idea of someone who's, like, basically a stranger singing all my inner thoughts."

He glances down at some of the lyrics in front of him and flips through one of his notebooks before looking up again.

Would you work w Regulus? I feel like his voice would go rly well w some of your songs. like the stuff you wrote for Lily.

Can we hear something??

I'm literally frothing at the mouth right now oh my god.

"Hear something? i dunno, guys. I only sang back up in Marauders for a reason." James lets out a soft laugh. He really wasn't much of a singer. He was decent, in his opinion, and generally preferred drums, writing lyrics, and production.

The live chat bursts into protests and begging.

"Oh my god, you guys are pathetic. Alright, fine, let me just..." He flips through and lands on a random page of his notebook. It's one of the only songs that isn't half finished. "Okay, if this ever gets released, don't expect it to sound the exact same. I'm making up cords on the fly, here. The working title is, uh..." he glances down again. "Romeo and Juliet, I guess? I don't remember writing this. I was probably a little wine drunk, but that's when my best stuff comes to me." He glances up with a dopey grin before adjusting his grip on the guitar.

OH MT GOD?

love song?

Get your screen recording ready guys

Have you talked to Peter since the band broke up?

James clears his throat one more time before picking a random cord progression and starting to sing.

"Someday, down the road, I hope to be your Romeo

I'll climb the wires to your landline

While you're crying on the telephone

And you're sitting, feet dangling

Cheeks so rosy red and saying

 'Baby, I was so upset, I thought you'd never set me free'" 

James was used to attention, more than used to it. Sure, he wasn't the fan favorite, but The Marauders wasn't some underground indie rock band anymore. He couldn't go anywhere without someone recognizing him. Maybe he wasn't recognized as James Potter, but he was still "the drummer for The Marauders" or "that guy Sirius Black is friends with." While he sometimes resented being known for those things specifically, part of him was grateful that he didn't have to deal with the same level of fame Sirius did. All that being said, he couldn't so much as pick up some groceries without someone recognizing him.

The attention used to feel strange. He used to panic when someone asked him for a photo while he was out for a walk, or when girls were all over him at after parties, but after a few years to adjust to the fame, he got used to dodging advances and to seeing his face plastered all over Twitter.

What he would never get used to, though, is the attention given to him by Regulus. Every smirk, every touch, every whisper, made James want to cry, drop to his knees, and beg whatever deity would listen not to take the man away from him, no matter how undeserving James was of his attention. 

"Where have you been all this time?" Regulus whispers softly. His head is resting on James' torso. His pale, slender fingers tracing patterns on tan ribs. 

"What do you mean?" James asks in an equally soft tone. His own fingers gently card through Regulus' solid black hair. 

"You've known my brother since the both of you were 11, how did it take us this long to meet?" 

James considers it for a moment. "Maybe it just wasn't the right time." 

"Oh so you believe in all that hippie dippie fate shit, now?" 

James grins and manages to look even more fond. "Maybe I do. Maybe the Universe kept us apart until it was right." 

"I think the Universe just likes to spite me." 

James lets out a quiet huff. "Now what does that mean?"

"The Universe likes to give Sirius things before me. And make him better at things than me." 

This is met by a quiet scoff. "That's not true, Reg."

"It is. He got famous before I did. He got to you before I did. He's definitely a better musician than me. I'll spend the rest of my life being his little brother." 

" You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you're better than him. "

It's Regulus who scoffs now. "You don't have to say that just because you're sleeping with me, James."

"I'm not. You know I'm not," James murmurs quietly. "Sirius is good. I'm not saying he's not. But the reason he became such a fucking rockstar is the sex appeal, Reg. Everyone in the world fucking loves that man. He can sing, he's photogenic, and holy hell he knows how to get people on his side, but at the end of the day, what is he actually singing about? The shit The Marauders puts out... it's not bad, but it's not something with substance. You, though... you make art about things that really matter. You pull that shit from the depths of your soul, and you sound like a siren while singing it. People listen to us because of Sirius. People listen to you because you're ... you're singing right to them. You're singing about the same things that keep them up at night. You're better than him, baby. I truly think that."

Regulus goes quiet. His hand on James' chest doesn't fully still but it slows way down. 

James wets his lips and takes a steadying breath. "Reg, the recordings you were showing me earlier... that shits gonna get you a Grammy." 

"It's not." Regulus whispers. His hand stops and presses into James' chest. 

"I'll bet you 20 bucks." 

"I'd say, "Oh, I love you" to my Juliet

If you only knew, I'd kill for you, I am for you

I am just who you need me to be

Let's get down, and let's grow old

This fire escape is getting cold

I love that dress, I love the rest

Of all that you've got going on”

Regulus just about jumps out of his skin. "Jesus Christ, you're breaking into my dressing room now?" 

James stands up from the tiny couch and watches Regulus shut the dressing room door, lean against it, and cross his arms. "Why'd you stop responding to my texts and my calls?" 

Regulus purses his lips. "James—”

"What did I do? Just tell me what I did wrong. I'm sorry, I can fix it, just tell me. " James steps closer to Regulus, who seems to press more firmly against the door in response. 

"I don't... I don't think we should speak anymore, James." His gaze drops to the rug under the drummer's feet.

James sucks in a shaky breath. "...Baby please."

"No," Regulus snaps. "One of us has to cut this off, and I know it won't be you. We can't do this forever, James and you know that. The longer we drag this out the worse it ends."

"Oh, come on, why can't it last forever, huh?" James murmurs desperately. "What if I want it to?"

"James."

"Come on, Reg, why?!"

"You're not even out yet," Regulus snaps. "You're not even out, we haven't even told Sirius, and you're absolutely terrified to do either. This entire thing is just a stupid summer fling."

James can feel his heart thrumming in his chest. His lungs feel too small, his stomach too heavy, and his mouth too dry. "I'm not too scared. I'll come out, we can tell Sirius. I'll do those things for you. You don't have to leave me," he begs.

"I'm not leaving you, we were barely anything to begin with," Regulus hisses out. He pulls his arms tighter against him.

James' stomach drops at that. He goes quiet for a few moments. He stares at Regulus, taking him all in like it might be his last chance.

"I love you, Regulus," he croaks out, not because he thinks he'll get it back — he knows he won't — but because he wants the man in front of him to know.

Regulus swallows thickly, but other than that, his composure doesn't break. He stands up straight and leaves the room.

"One day when the lines have all been read and memorized

I hope you mean it when you say that

I am yours and you are mine

Singing down here, on my knees

I'm begging, 'Won't you marry me?'

I love that dress, I love the rest

So Julie let the show go on" 

James didn't see Regulus again for months. When he does, his band is freshly broken up, Peter is in every tabloid being exposed as an incredibly shitty person, and he probably hasn't been this drunk since he was 19.

James is cursing under his breath, struggling with the stupid key card to his stupid hotel room because he was in stupid fucking Australia on a stupid world tour that is now cancelled.

"...James," a quiet, concerned, angelic voice whispers from behind him.

He spins around and is now face to face with the man who tore his heart out of his chest and has been carrying it around for the last few months. He clears his throat and looks down at his shoes before turning back around and messing with the key card some more. "Why are you here?" 

James can't see Regulus, but he hears the man take a deep breath. He doesn't respond right away. 

"I flew out for Sirius," he murmurs after a few moments. 

James just nods before slumping against the door in defeat as he continues to fail at opening it. There's a quiet sigh behind him. 

"Here, just... let me do it," Regulus murmurs and then he's right next to James and prying the key card from his grip. 

'oh, god,' James thinks. 'He smells exactly the same.'

Regulus pushes James off the door and gets it open with ease. James gives him a disgruntled look. Regulus responds to it with a look of pure concern. 

"Here, let's get you inside," He whispers before wrapping his arm around James' waist and guiding him through the door. James sighs and leans into Regulus a bit. 

He grunts as Regulus sits him down on the bed and looks up at the man standing in front of him. He hates the look on Regulus' face. The worry. It makes him guilty. Makes him want to reach up and move the muscles of his face into a lighter expression. He never wants to be why Regulus feels anything negative. He reasons that he failed at that months ago, though. 

"Are you okay?" Regulus whispers while placing his hands on James' shoulders. 

James hesitates. The past 24 hours have been hell. It's a cakewalk compared to the 24 hours after Regulus left him, but still hell. 

"Oh, you know. I'll live." 

Regulus purses his lips and studies him. 

"Yeah, I guess you will." 

James stares up at him for a few more moments. "God, you're still so pretty." 

Regulus picks his hands up from the other's shoulders. "James—”

James catches his hands and holds them in his. "Come on, baby. Why don't we just leave it all? I don't know about you but I don't have a reason to keep doing this. Why don't we go live somewhere, just me and you, pretend this whole fame thing never happened. You said you liked America, right? Chicago?"

Regulus squeezes his eyes shut. "James, stop—”

James sinks off the bed and onto his knees. "Come on, baby, marry me. I don't need all this, I just need you."

Regulus' eyes fly open. His breath hitches. "No, James, we can't do that. "

"God damn it, why not?!"

"Because the person who deserves you and your devotion is still out there waiting for you," Regulus whispers.

James takes a stuttering breath and squeezes Regulus' hands. "No, you're right here," he croaks out. 

Regulus squeezes his eyes shut again. "No, I'm not." 

He pries himself away from James, tosses the key card onto his bed, and walks out. 

James curls forward, his forehead pressing against the carpet, and lets out a quiet sob when he hears the door click shut. 

James' fingers stop dancing across the fretboard of his guitar. He looks at himself on the phone screen. His palm comes up to catch a tear on his cheek. 

"Um... maybe I should have read the lyrics to that one before singing it." 

Chapter Text

James Potter UPDATES 🥁🥁🥁 

@JPupdatezz

James Potter accompanies close friend Lily Evans on WHATS UP? Podcast to promote Lily Evans' new album! They discuss the music industry, their childhoods, and more! 

"So, James, you had a big part in this album, yeah?" The host asks. She's a young, pretty looking blonde girl with large headphones on. 

"Oh, you know, I did what I could, Lily is the real mastermind behind the project," James answers. He reaches out and pulls the microphone a little closer. He's wearing a matching pair of headphones, making his curls look a little more untamed.

Lily scoffs. "That's just not true. He did more than just what he could. James is a brilliant producer, you know? He produced the entire album, and features on one of the songs. We also wrote a few of the songs together, Jesus Christ he's a brilliant lyricist."

James just shakes his head and huffs. "She gives me too much credit."

"Well I think this is just as much his album as it is mine." Lily pushes her long, straightened, red hair over her shoulder.

The host, Emmiline, smiles at their banter and looks down at her notes briefly. 

"Well, James, I would like to touch on Lily's point of your lyrics. You have such a unique voice. When I was listening to Remus Lupin's new music and I heard Where'd All the Time Go I had to pause the album and look up the credits because I could just smell you in there and I was right."

Lily laughs. "I feel like some of his best stuff is the nostalgic stuff." 

"Well what I was going to say is that I had that same sort of moment when I heard your first single, Ribs." 

"Oh, I don't know if those songs are the result of me being a lyrical genius,I think I just spend too much time thinking about the past and being a kid." James lets out a soft laugh.

Emmiline laughs at this. "Aw, I bet you were such a cute little kid."

"Oh, yeah. Playing house on the playground. Did you ever propose to someone, James?" Lily asks, easily playing off of Emmiline's energy.

James cracks a smile. "Only if I meant it."

Emmiline huffs at this. "You know, speaking of singles, I have to say, Ribs is great, but when I heard She I had to pour myself a glass of wine. Christ, that song is good. Can I ask about the behind the scenes for that song? Because, one queer woman to another, you seemed to really encapsulate the feeling of a young girls first sapphic relationship."

Lily takes a deep breath. "Um... that song was, honestly really hard to record. Me and James actually had to have a few glasses of wine, too, to get through it. It all felt very... raw and exposed, I guess. Which is how art is supposed to feel, in my opinion."

Emmiline nods. "And what was writing it like?"

"Oh, well, that's mostly a question for James. I tweaked a few lyrics but most of that came from him," Lily answers before looking over at James, who is sitting right next to her.

Emmiline, from across the table, looks a bit surprised for a moment but quickly composes her face. "And James... well, if you don't mind me asking, what was the inspiration behind this song? I wasn't expecting a straight man to have written a song like that. Who broke James Potter's heart?"

"Oh, well, it actually was a bit of a queer heartbreak. When I came to Lils with the song it was He," James answers calmly, not really thinking about it. He starts singing softly. "He smells like lemongrass and sleep. He tastes like orange juice and sweets. Oh, you would find him in an old Greek hymn. And he means everything to me..." James trails off and clears his throat. "Well, those were the original lyrics."

Emmiline and Lily wear matching looks of shock on their faces, both for very different reasons. Emmiline is the first one to speak again.

"So you're..."

"Oh, I'm bisexual," James says. His hand comes up and rubs the back of his neck. 

Emmiline quickly schools her face. "Right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed."

"Oh, no, you're fine. I guess I haven't really said it publicly." James waves her off.

Emmiline nods for a second and takes a deep breath. "Um... we can cut that if you want to."

"Oh, no, you guys are fine. Nows as good of a time as any, I suppose."

Lily lets out a bit of an incredulous laugh. 

"Emmi, love, you're about to go viral."

Regulus Updates

@RABfans

Regulus has released his first single, Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call, causing anticipation for his second studio album. 

The big black headphones almost blend into Regulus' hair as he adjusts them. Emmiline is finishing up introducing him.

"So, Regulus, your new album is coming out in a few months." 

Regulus nods. "Yeah, which is crazy. I've been working on some of those songs since before my last album came out. So the fact that they're leaving my laptop and going out into the world is a bit scary."

"That long? Wow."

"Yeah." Regulus nods. "It's all a bit insane, really."

"And you're the only one credited on the album, just like your first album."

"Yeah. That's probably why it takes so long,” Regulus jokes.

"Have you ever thought about working with a producer or a song writer?" 

"Um... well for my first album I really never considered it. I was just in my bedroom making shit and then I released it and people listened to it, and you know, here I am a few years later. For Leo, when I started formally working on it, I guess it felt... like I needed to do it alone. A lot of those songs are really personal and I don't think it would... be the same album if I had someone else in there. Maybe in the future? Me and Sirius have actually written a few songs together but nothing that will see the light of day."

Emmiline nods. "Well,the reason I ask is because everytime I have a guest on the podcast I go on twitter and ask fans what they want to know, just to get some ideas on what to ask. Overwhelmingly, people wanted to know if you would ever work with James Potter."

Regulus' eyebrows raise. "Really?"

Emmiline nods. "Have you ever met him?"

"A few times, yeah. I mean, he's my brothers best friend."

"You have connections, then."

Regulus laughs. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I think you two would be brilliant together. Think that might ever happen?"

Regulus takes a deep breath and lets it out, slouching back in his chair a bit.

"Um... never say never, I suppose, but no, I don't think so."

Emmiline nods. "I also wanted to ask you about your singles. They seem to be causing a lot of excitement."

"Yeah, it's insane. I mean... i didn't think people would be that excited."

"Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call looks like it might give you a number 1, yeah?"

"I think it's at number 4 right now, which, like I said, insane. But yeah, it's gotten really popular on tiktok and it's just been climbing since it released."

"Now you have two singles, Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call and Vodka Cranberry out right now. Is that all we're getting until the album releases?"

Regulus nods again. "Yeah, it is. One of the tracks on Leo will get a music video along with the singles after the release, though."

"Oooh, okay. And the two songs we do have are... pretty different. I mean, they have that same somber, heartbroken vibe, but they've got a very different sound. Which song does the album sound more like?"

"Um... none of the songs on the album sound really similar to each other. Like I said, I've been working on some of this stuff for years. It's kinda a glimpse at moments in my life that are all a bit different."

"How long have you been working on those singles?"

"Those are actually the newest ones."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I actually wrote Merry Christmas like... two months ago. All in one night."

"Can I ask the inspiration for it?"

"Oh, god..." Regulus grows quiet for a moment and looks at the microphone in front of him. His tongue darts out to wet his lips. "I was at this farmers market with my mate Barty and there was this stall where they were selling jewelry and I saw something that I wanted to get for Sirius. Figured maybe could give it to him for Christmas or something because he wouldn't want me to just send him shit for no reason. Anyway, I'm checking out and I look over and there's this ring and um..." Regulus trails off and takes a deep breath. "It reminded me of someone I used to date and I kinda just had this crisis. and I just... wrote it. I didn't sleep until I had recorded it."

"Oh, wow. So it's about an ex then."

Regulus hesitates. 

"Yeah. It's... more complicated than that, though. This guy... well he doesn't deserve some of the shit I sang about him. Like it makes him sound like this... angry guy. I didn't leave him because he was a bad person it just... didn't work out. But I think when I wrote the song I was processing it for the first time. I really don't know if he could qualify as an ex. It was kinda just... a summer fling." 

Emmiline looks at Regulus intently. She nods slowly and glances down at her notes.

"So you left him, then?" 

Regulus nods slowly "Yeah, it was... really hard. It was just one of those things where... it seems doomed from the begining. It was too much." 

"Ever thought about reaching back out?" 

"Oh, wouldn't that be hypocritical." 

Emmiline laughs. "Alright, then. Uh, if you don't mind me asking, when did you come out publicly? I didn't see anything about it when I was getting everything put together for this episode." 

"Oh, about 5 seconds ago, I guess." Regulus laughs again. "This keeps happening to you, huh?" 

A few different emotions appear on Emmiline's face before she lets out a bit of a surprised laugh. "See, now I wish Lily Evans was here to say her line." 

"Emmi, love, you're about to go viral." Regulus imitates with a smirk.

Sirius stares at the Instagram live chat on his phone. James is in the background cooking something.

"Did you see Regulus on WHATS UP? Yes, that little twerp didn't even tell me he was coming out and then I woke up to his face all over my twitter timeline. I don't like my brothers face all over my twitter timeline." 

In the background of the live James looks like he must have given himself whiplash with how quickly he head whips up at his words. He opens his mouth like he plans to say something but ends up just looking back down again.

"What is James doing? My bidding, that's what. He's making me spaghetti." 

"He said he wanted to make it together and I fell into his trap," James calls out.

Sirius grins wickedly at the camera and continues reading the messages on his screen.

"Have you ever had a song written about you? Darling,every song is written about me. James, have you ever had a song written about you?" 

James looks back up from his cooking. He takes a moment to respond. 

"Yeah, once or twice." 

James Potter UPDATES 🥁🥁🥁 

@JPupdatezz

James Potter is nominated for multiple Grammys for his work on Sirius Black's and Lily Evans' recent albums including best producer for Lily Evans' Red.

Regulus Updates

@RABfans

Regulus' second studio album, Leo, is nominated for multiple Grammys, including best record, best album, and best pop vocal performance. Regulus himself is nominated for best new artist.

Chapter Text

Sirius is upside down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "Mate, I don't know... we can't both have writers block at the same time, now can we?" 

James sighs from his spot across the room. He flips through his notebook, looking at all the half finished lines he's written down over the years. 

"You really have no idea what you want the album to sound like?" 

"No, not really." Sirius corrects himself on the couch before getting up and walking over to James. He looks at the notebook on James' desk before flipping through it, too. "Chicago? What does this one sound like?" 

James looks down at the lyrics for a moment. It's only a chorus. He grabs his guitar and hums it for a second. 

"So, if you're lonely in Chicago, you can call me, baby. Has it been long enough that you can forgive me..." He stops to glance at the words again "... just because it didn't work, doesn't mean it's meaningless to me." 

"Ugh, I hate Chicago. Love Lollapalooza, though. Do you have anything else for that one. "

"Uhh.... " James hums a few more notes.. "Still have your... I didn't have to search cus I still know your number... " he murmurs. 

"I bet sometimes you still like to wear my jumper... " Sirius murmurs. "Quite sappy, isn't it? Sounds like if Remus and my brother made a song together. Or if you put out an album it would probably sound like that, you miserable twat. What else do you have in your book of goodies?"

James rolls his eyes and starts flipping through the notebook again. 

"James, I have to say, you're looking mighty dashing tonight," Emmiline says while pulling away from his hug. "You're no stranger to red carpets though, are you?" 

James grins down at her. "Well if I'm looking dashing then you're a work of art, Emmi. And no, this definitely isn't my first rodeo. I didn't know you were doing interviews, though. That's a pleasant surprise."

"Oh, yeah, it's a bit crazy. This is my first rodeo, though, do you have any tips?" Emmi asks, briefly bringing her large microphone to her mouth before aiming it back at James. 

"Uhh if you get the chance to interview Sirius, let him flirt with you, and if you see Lily you flirt with her."

Emmiline nods, face completely serious. "Alright, alright, what else?"

"Oh, when you're watching the show, remember just about everything is scripted. Don't fall for the Hollywood glamour, dear."

Emmiline finally breaks into a grin. "Alright, James, I'll keep those things in mind. I should let you go, but you must come back onto the podcast soon."

"You're right, I simply must. Have a good night, Emmi, you're the best journalist out here." 

James waves goodbye and continues on his way through the reporters.

Recording Academy / GRAMMYs

@RecordingAcad

Tune in this Friday for the 67th Grammys!

"Regulus!"

The man turns his head at his name being called and smiles softly when his eyes land on Emmiline. He walks toward her. 

"Emmiline, how are you." 

"Oh, I'm great, but I'm not the one nominated for a few Grammys. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, you know. There's not much use in getting really anxious about it. Even if I don't win anything tonight I'm still really proud of the album."

Emmiline nods and brings the microphone to her face again, about to ask another question before she gets interrupted.

"Reggie!"

Regulus startles a bit as Sirius appears out of nowhere and pulls him into a hug.

"Jesus Christ," Regulus murmurs before returning the embrace.

He pulls away and smiles at Emmiline. "Hello, I'm Sirius." 

The reporter laughs a bit. "I'm Emmi." 

"Sirius, this is supposed to be my interview, not yours," Regulus huffs sarcastically.

"Well, I'm sure my friend Emmi wants someone more interesting to speak to."

"Oh, I think you're both plenty interesting. Sirius, How are you feeling about your nominations tonight?"

"Oh, it's all very exciting. I'm more excited about my date night with James Potter," Sirius responds while Regulus rolls his eyes.

"Oh, date night?" Emmiline asks while suppressing a grin.

"Yes, I've seemed to lose him, though. Have you seen him?"

"I spoke with him about 15 minutes ago."

Sirius hums. "Well if he wins best producer or songwriter I'll cry like a baby. Same with this twat."

Regulus huffs. "I'd be surprised if Sirius even knows what he's nominated for."

"Oh, I'll figure it out when they announce it. Emmiline can I come on your podcast?"

Emmiline's eyes widen a bit, as if trying to catch up with him. "Oh, you're always welcome, Sirius. "

"Great, I'll get my people to talk to your people."

Right after Emmiline nods Sirius is waving goodbye and tugging Regulus along with him. 

SIRI

@SiriusBlack

IF ME AND JAMES WIN RECORD OF THE YEAR WE'RE GETTING MATCHING PRINCE ALBERT PIERCINGS!

|

James Potter

@JamesPotter4real

Probably not. Depends how drunk I am tonight!

James isn't a big fan of award shows. They were all carefully curated facades of high class glamour even though most of the people here aren't glamorous in the least. 

But he was proud of his work, and his people, so he showed up.

He was currently sitting between Lily and Sirius. A few other miscellaneous celebrities he didn't really recognize sat at the same table as him. Regulus was at the table right next to them. In the seat closest to James. With only an aisle of walking space between them. 

Of course. 

Sirius would lean over every few minutes to heckle Regulus, but James kept his eyes trained on the table in front of him and sipped on his too expensive champagne. 

Most of James' awards had already been called during the premiere ceremony. James had, in fact, won Producer of the Year, Non-Classical, for RED as well as Song Writer of the Year, nonclassical. He has no idea what he said, and he could only hope he didn't sound like a blathering idiot. He was already planning on looking up the speeches on YouTube later. 

The main award ceremony only gave out 10 awards. The big 4, Best New Artist, Album of the Year, Record of the year, and Song of the year then 6 more that switched around every year. This year it was the Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, Pop Vocal Album, Rap Album, Country Album, Latin Pop Album and Alternative Album.

Him and Sirius were up for Record of the year for Do I Wanna Know, which James knew they wouldn't win, a simple glimpse at the other songs in that category made that abundantly clear, as well as Best Alternative Album, which was marginally more likely. 

Him and Lily were up for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for Til Forever Falls Apart, and James really couldn't get a read on that category at all. Part of him thinks they were only nominated because it was the first time James has featured on a song since the Marauders broke up, and another part of him really dislikes every other song nominated, but maybe they just weren't his taste. Either way, it wouldn't matter. He'd open up twitter in the morning and people would be angry that he didn't win, or that he stole a Grammy from their favorite artist.

James is brought out of his train of thought as he hears Regulus scolding Sirius. He sighs and takes another sip of champagne.

Lizzie!

@scaredlesbian

Imagine if a bisexual and a lesbian win a Grammy for their love song that they wrote while (probably) thinking about their gay lovers.

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James Potter UPDATES 🥁 🥁 🥁 

@JPupdatezz

They would actually be the first queer duo to win the category with a love song! This year actually has the most queer nominees across all categories on record for the Grammy's!

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Lizzie!

@scaredlesbian

In James Potter Updates we trust.

James sits and claps politely through the first few awards and performances. He does perk back up when Best Record is announced. As James predicted, Do I Wanna Know didn't win. 

What does win, however, is Vodka Cranberry by Regulus Black.

James claps but can't bring himself to look behind him, even as Sirius stands up and pulls his little brother into a hug. 

Despite the fact that James has spent every day since Regulus left him in that hotel room convincing himself he's over his best friend's brother, he quickly proves himself wrong the second his eyes catch Regulus on his way to the stage. He becomes completely captivated with everything about the man. His suit, his hair, his posture, and the sick, masochistic part of James' brain is ecstatic at the thought of hearing him speak.

Regulus gracefully makes his way up the stairs and is handed the award. He gives the presenter a quick hug before facing the crowd. His eyes are wide with disbelief and they're searching through the crowd. James thinks, for a brief second, that they land on him before remembering it must be Sirius Regulus is looking at. Before James has fully prepared himself, Regulus takes a deep breath and starts speaking.

"Um... I owe James Potter 20 dollars," is the way the man chooses to start his speech. James' breath hitches as a wave of nausea crashes over him. Both Lily and Sirius look at him for some sort of explanation. He offers none.

"I didn't write a speech because I thought there was no way I would win this. I've never been the most self confident person in any given room, especially not one as big as this one. But I would like to thank anyone who has ever picked up my slack in regards to believing in me. To be honest I didn't think I deserved you, either. And to all of the kids out there who feel wrong, and... undeserving, remember that putting yourself out into the world is the only way to succeed, and that you deserve the success you achieve. Pushing away the blessings that you receive because they are 'too good' for you... well trust me when I tell you that that's the biggest mistake you'll ever make." Regulus steps away from the microphone and is gently ushered backstage as classical music fills the room.

James reaches for his champagne flute and downs the rest of it.

Ben's Diary

@stuffyoudontcareabout

Guys I haven't watched the Grammys since I was a small kid watching with my mother, but after being obsessed with all things Regulus Black since Leo came out, I am SAT with a bucket of popcorn and if he doesn't win anything I'll be really sad.

James and Lily win Best Pop Duo/Group Performance. James lets her take the lead in the acceptance speech after saying a brief thank you to his parents, Remus, Sirius, and Lily herself. He's in a bit of a haze, but eventually finds his way back to his seat. He more or less zones out for the rest of the night. Sirius loses Best Alternative Album, but, from what James can tell, the man doesn't seem too beat up about it. 

He comes back to his senses when they start announcing Best New Artist. It's the last award of the night. Despite not speaking to the man in god knows how long, he intuitively knows that this is the big one for Regulus. Winning Record of the Year was great, winning Best New Artist would be even better. It takes everything in James to not turn around and look at Regulus. Instead, he bites his lip and looks at him on the huge screens behind the stage. 

The presenter plasters on a fake smile. "And the Grammy goes to... Regulus!" 

James, despite all of his healing and all of his good intentions, can't stop himself from standing up and turning around in hopes of catching the glint in Regulus' eyes. 

He gets more than that. 

Regulus' hands are shaking, something James probably wouldn't have noticed under normal circumstances. The next few moments of James' life weren't exactly normal, even compared to his rather unusual life. 

Regulus stands up and, for the first time in months, or maybe for the first time since Regulus accepted his first award, their eyes meet. Regulus moves. Not towards the stage. James assumes he must be going for Sirius, whose brain hasn't caught up yet and is still in his chair. 

But then Regulus' hands are on James' face, and they're definitely trembling. And Regulus is letting out a quiet sob, muttering "God, I hate you," and standing on his tippy toes to kiss James. In front of all of America. And most English speaking countries. And Sirius. James catches him around the waist and lets out a shuddery breath as he leans into the too brief kiss. Regulus pulls away. 

"Oh, god, I have to go," he murmurs before stepping out of James' grip and toward the stage. 

Ben's Diary

@stuffyoudontcareabout

Guys I haven't watched the Grammys since I was a small kid watching with my mother, but after being obsessed with all things Regulus Black since Leo came out, I am SAT with a bucket of popcorn and if he doesn't win anything I'll be really sad.

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shhhh 

@ihatemakingusernames

So, can I ask how you're feeling now that they're over...

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Ben's Diary

@stuffyoudontcareabout

A little like Sirius or Lily

[Photo: Screen Grab from the Grammys. James and Regulus are kissing. Lily is staring straight into the camera with a shocked expression. Sirius is staring at them kissing with his mouth wide open.]

Regulus Nation

@Regulusnat

Regulus: No, I'll probably never collaborate with James Potter. 

Also Regulus: [Photo: Same Screen Grab]

Regulus Updates

@RABfans

Regulus spotted for the first time since the Grammys, 3 months since his viral night. Him and James Potter were seen on the side of the road in town near the Oregon Coast, seemingly arguing over a flat tire. 

[Photo: James and Regulus outside of a car, seemingly having some sort of heated discussion.]

[Photo: James replacing the tire as Regulus leans against the car smugly.]

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Sarah 🍇🍇

@stillmourningthemarauders

I know James is in his lover boy era but can someone please get this man back in the studio my playlists are crying for help. 

Sirius has his head held in his palm as his eyes flit over the live Instagram chat, looking rather defeated. 

James is on the couch next to him. A pen is tucked behind his ear as he stares down at his notes. "Okay, guys... what rhymes with milk?" he looks up at Sirius' phone. 

Feet, that are attached to legs that are attached to someone off screen, suddenly land on James' lap. 

"Aww, you're so handsome. I hope everyone who lost songwriter of the year to you sees that clip," Regulus' tired voice rings out.