Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cameras clicked excessively; the set was adorned in everything beige. Beige coloured walls, with undertones of ivory, a beige coloured couch sitting in the midst with a warm yellow blanket draped over it in a calculated yet casual way. Ivy vines crawled on the wall like a decorative item, photo frames hanging on the wall with precise colours, a coffee table placed in the middle that held a stack of beige, old books, it's papers wrinkled and torn, and in the midst, stood Lee Felix.

Wearing a sleeveless beige cropped top, with citrines embedded in the top, its neckline cutting deep into his chest region, with the top two buttons unbuttoned. His pants were white, trouser pants, tapered at the ankles, and accessories hanging onto the fabric for dear life. The cropped shirt showed off his lean stomach, a fake navel piercing, and everything complemented his lean figure. 

His blonde hair cascaded down in waves, his eyes punctuated by a silver eyeshadow, around his eyes and in the inner edge of his eye, along with some gemstones. His freckles were left on display, and his lips were covered in a pale pink lip gloss. A pendant around his neck with a yellow sapphire complemented the whole outfit.

Lee Felix posed. Whistles and whispers from the back of the venue could be heard. Hushed murmurs of how someone could be like this, and by this, they mean 'an angel on earth'. People talk behind his back; claiming how he could be so successful when he's only twenty-five. He's been on various fashion shows; been a runway model for many of the fashion brands. But he's never stuck to one brand. 

The lights flicker, and the sounds of cameras clicking pictures fill the place. A stylist from the back whispers, "I just don't know how he could be so successful."

The digital technician replies, "I don't know. Maybe it's because of his parents? I've heard that they're loaded too."

The prop stylist murmurs, "haven't y'all heard? He's not in a good relationship with his parents. Like I don't know what happened, but he doesn't see them anymore. And they've cut off all the wealth pertaining to him."

"And yet he's so rich?" The creative director asks in awe.

"Bro, he models rarely. Like once in six months or so. Just models for whichever brand calls him first. This time we were lucky," the seamstress answers.

"But with each photoshoot, fashion week, or runway he earns millions. That's why maybe he's so rich," the producer comments.

"He's just so elegant and angelic. Like he's a fairy, all those freckles also look so good on him," the director exclaims.

"If I was gay, I'd actually go for him," the prop stylist giggles, while the photographer keeps shouting praises to the model, Felix.

"Do you know where he lives?" The makeup artist inquires.

"I heard it's in Cheongdam-dong. It's the richest neighbourhood in Seoul," the wardrobe stylist states.

"Those apartments where they overlook the Han river?" The lighting technician gasps.

"I think so. Many idols live there too. Apparently, he's the first model to get a housing there," the assistant stylist replies.

"Woah, he's fucking loaded then!" The hair stylist exclaims.

"Yeah, and he comes to these shoots whenever he's bored, it seems. Or else, he has enough money for a lifetime. Why would he even work, anyway?" The digital technician rolls his eyes.

"He's filthy rich! Man, I wanna live like that too!" The producer's assistant whines.

"You will, when you start doing your job properly," the producer smacks the assistant on his head.

"Get to work!"

_

Felix shimmies out of his glimmery top. Not gonna lie, it looked beautiful, but downright itchy. Never in his life is he gonna wear the same top ever again. He wears his baby blue hoodie and the white sweatpants he had bought, packs his bags and bids farewell to the director, producers and photographers.

"The photos will be released after two months. I'll email the photos to you later in the evening," the photographer says.

"And maybe recommend which photos you'll like on the magazine cover," the photographer adds, and Felix nods.

"Thank you," Felix smiles.

"It's not a problem, we look forward to working with you," the director replies with a cheery grin.

Felix nods. "Hopefully, never," Felix whispers under his breath.

When he exits the venue, he sees a Rolls-Royce Spectre, in magnificent white, and Felix grins. He opens the passenger seat and gets in.

"How'd it go?" Chan asks, sitting in the driver's seat.

"Great, but don't you have a job to do? You're the CEO of The Lavish Layers, idiot! One of the most reputable brands!" Felix flicks the other's forehead.

Chan pouts. "Is it so bad that I want to get you home safely?"

"If you're neglecting your work, then yes," Felix glares.

"Okay then. Walk to your home," Chan frowns playfully while Felix gasps.

"How dare you ask me to walk to my home? Do you know that my legs will ache?" He screeches, but grins.

"Mhm. Now shut up and let me drive you home," Chan says, and the engine roars to life.

They sing along to the songs on the radio, anyone who'd peek in wouldn't believe that it is a CEO and a very famous model travelling together. They act like they are literal five-year-olds. 

"By the way, when do we all meet up? Jake, Niki and Sunghoon are all eager to meet the old man before he dies, their words, not mine," Felix says, and Chan is fed up.

"I'll call those little rascals later. Old man? I'm only twenty-eight," Chan huffs.

"Still older than almost everyone, Rosie is the only one older than you. And the throuple loves her too much to tease. So you're their only target," Felix concludes.

"But I'm not that old!" 

"Bro, they're literally twenty and you're twenty-eight," Felix deadpans.

"To them, you are an oldie," Felix nods.

"Then you also should be one, you're five years older than them," Chan pouts.

"Only five, but you? Eight fucking years!"

"Broo!" 

"Ew! Don't bro me!" Felix winces.

Chan sighs. "No one likes me." 

"Everyone likes you, old man." 

"Especially you!"

_

When Chan drops him off with a scowl, Felix only giggles. He takes the elevator to the 12th floor. The whole apartment has 13 floors. The twelfth and the thirteenth floors are owned by Felix, like a two-story apartment, with everything; a swimming pool, a karaoke room, a gym room, a sauna whenever required, a jacuzzi and everything else.

He gets off at the twelfth floor, opens the door with his keycard and then flops down on his red coloured couch. The living room hosts a huge television fixed on the wall, the floor-to-ceiling windows giving a magnificent view of the Han River, and people wandering in the streets.

"Luna!" He calls out.

A soft meow rings in his ears.

He turns around and picks up the cat. Luna, a Turkish angora, with wonderful white fur and mismatched eyes, one in amber and the other a clear, crystal blue. He had gotten her from the Blue cross near him. She was the most stubborn one. Refused to even look at him, while all the other cats and dogs loved him too much.

Felix had decided then. He would adopt Luna. It had been two years now. And Luna is the best companion he could ever ask for. She always demanded her hair to be brushed atleast twice a week. Would ask for treats and rubs. Would snuggle up to him when he's feeling like shit. The best cuddle partner in bed.

He gives Luna some belly rubs before sauntering into his room. A king-sized bed, too big for one person, but Felix likes the space. Sometimes he would like to be held, and other times he'd like his space. There is no one to hold him, though. His romantic life is absolutely non-existent.

After his last boyfriend, he vowed he'd never fall in love. Though he isn't sure about that. Everything happens simultaneously without a second to pause. Feelings are like that, too. He'd be open to a relationship, but he would need to find the right guy.

Yes, a guy. He's gay.

Felix grabs a big black oversized tee, and pairs it with the shortest white shorts that don't even cover his butt fully. It's his go-to clothes if he's stressed. And he just wants to relax. And his panties.

Yeah, panties. He does not have a dick between his legs. A vagina, actually.

He identifies himself as a male in public, it's not like anyone's gonna strip him down to prove that he isn't a male. No one is gonna know. Except his hookups. That is, if they even know who he is in that drunken state.

He strips down and gets into his jacuzzi. His muscles relax in the warm water. Maybe he should've added some bath bombs. But it's fine. He just wants to relax.

The jacuzzi is located next to the wall, the walls are painted in sandy brown, with potted plants placed on an elevated area, next to the jacuzzi. 

Next to the right of his jacuzzi, there is the sink, with cabinets beneath and above the mirror. Opposite to the sink is the shower, encased within glass walls and a curtain. Well, the curtain isn't needed, because Felix is the only one living there. It's not like anyone's gonna peek.

Next to the shower stall are the robes. Colourful and really pretty. He chooses each one based on his mood that day.

Felix sighs, leaning back against the marble tub. What he's missing now is the red wine. 

A bath in his jacuzzi and red wine? Fucking fantastic!

The warm water swished around him, the golden lights flickering as they glowed; Felix felt at peace. He's got everything now: money, fame, connections, but no family.

His family was always judgmental of him. At first, they refused to believe that he was a boy, and not a girl. After some tests, they had found out he was indeed a male, but with a different.. equipment.

He was isolated, pushed aside as his parents showered praises and money on their two daughters. Never once did they even turn back and look at him. As if he were a disgrace to the family.

His family was rich. In Australia, they had been running a university and a company. It brought them plenty of profits. The college soon rose up in social status, with everyone saying that it was the college that the elite children went to. And Felix? He didn't want to study there.

His parents' coworkers, those disgusting rich oldies, unabashedly ogled at him when he was only twelve. Said he was too pretty for a male. That maybe he could rival the world's most beautiful women. That he was only known for his looks. He hated them with all his body and mind.

His sisters would assure him that he wasn't what everyone told him to be. That he was uniquely himself. That it didn't matter that he liked flowers instead of racecars or that he liked baking instead of basketball.

Of course, his parents didn't agree. They often blamed him for being born like..this. That he wasn't a male but a female. Often made him feel ashamed by saying that they had three daughters. That he wasn't a man. That he didn't look like a man. The typical man with a moustache and a beard with thick eyebrows, and unruly hair.

Felix blinked out of his thoughts, sighing to himself when he knows he hadn't gotten out of that insecurity as he claimed to be. That he still gets enraged and ashamed when people mistake him to be a woman. And when they realise he's a man with his deep voice, they insult him. Like it's his fault for being born that way.

He decides that soaking in the bathtub didn't bring him relaxation but nerves. He quickly steps out of the bathtub, water dripping down his thighs and body as he steps on the plush brown rug located right outside the jacuzzi. 

Felix walks to the cabinets and pulls out a new towel to dry himself. Once he's dry, he slips on his baby blue panties and his white shorts. Lastly, he pulls on the big oversized black tee that covers his shorts and reaches his mid-thigh. 

He picks up Luna, where she had been meowing on the bathroom floor, seemingly watching over him when he's in a vulnerable state. Felix chuckles. Cats claim that they're disgusted by people and do the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done in their lives.

He feeds her food in her bowl and cooks ramen in his kitchen. It boils in three minutes, and he adds all the sauce and vegetables. He lets them sit for a minute longer before he's gobbling them down. He's starving.

He watches a documentary after his dinner, something about white tigers and their cute cubs, and Felix finds himself cooing over them. Luna looks like she's disgusted by him and walks to her bed.

Felix sits there, watching the television, when his phone rings.

"Hello?" He asks.

"Hey, hyung. How are you?" Jake asks from the other side, and Felix grins.

"Better than ever, you?" Felix responds in English.

"I'm fine. Just knew that you have done the first photoshoot in a while, so I'm enquiring. How'd it go?" Jake asks, while laughter rings from the background.

"It went fine. The old man picked me up, so I'm back safe and sound," Felix nods.

"He's literally everyone's dad," Niki snorts, and Felix laughs.

"Am I on speaker?" Felix questions.

"Yeah," Jake says.

"Where's Heeseung then?" Felix asks, "Did he sleep already?"

"Nope. He's right here, being silent and creepy," Niki says.

"I'm literally your boyfriend. Have some respect," Heeseung pouts.

"Respect is for old people like Chan, not you," Niki scoffs.

"Damn," Felix guffaws.

"I'm telling Chan this one," Felix giggles.

"Well, whatever. So, when's the next shoot if you are doing any, that is." Heeseung asks.

"Don't know. Probably after six months," Felix shrugs.

"Bro. You're literally a model." Jake blinks.

"A filthy rich model," Felix corrects.

Niki snorts. "Yeah, yeah. You're fucking rich with millions in your bank account. We know that," Niki pouts.

"Mhm." Felix nods.

"Well, go to sleep. You are also in the process of becoming old and old people need more sleep," Niki points out.

"Can someone smack him for me, please?" Felix sweetly asks and soon, there's a resounding smack on the other side, followed by a pained cry.

"Done," Heeseung comments.

"Thanks! Sleep tight, dream of me," Felix smiles when he hears all three of them let out disgusted 'ew's.

He skips to his bedroom, hops on his bed after locking the doors and sleeps tight, wrapped in a blanket burrito, with Luna at the corner letting out occasional unimpressed mewls.

_

Felix skips to his kitchen, immediately feeding Luna as he had woken up late. It was noon time, and he prepared his own lunch. Some leftover kimchi with pickled radish and seasoned spinach. With some rice and a soup he made. Nothing extravagant. Something simple.

He doom scrolls; finding literally nothing to do, he plays video games or fiddles with his phone. Tiktok, instagram, X, he tries everything to get rid of his boredom. That's when his eyes catch a particular article about the Divine Drape.

The brand known for its fantastic collection with chic pieces. Vintage products that transcends time. Modernity among the new generation. The new winter collection that was released caught many people's attention. But now, the company isn't doing great, according to the new report.

"The Divine Drape, the brand known for its fame and collections is facing a downfall. The globally recognized brand is losing sponsors and ambassadors over a small mix-up as the CEO, 

Mr. Hwang Hyunjin had announced to the press last weekend. This could be due to various reasons.

The company, facing a downfall in sales by 20% has majorly impacted it's economic growth. The Chairman had promised that the company will rise up strong after this, but the damage still prevails. Employees are quitting stating that their pay has been reduced. The dip in sales has affected the total company.

Insider information reveal that it may be due to the CEO'S involvement with the employees, whether one or many is not stated. The most probable guess would be his his long time secretary, 

Ms. Hazel. Although this information isn't confirmed by any sources, many people do not believe this, supporting Mr. Hwang and his fame. They believe it may be due to other important reasons which may have been underscored to be taken action later but may have buried under the pressure of the board of directors.

This major brand flopping has taken other fashion brands by surprise. The Lavish Layers offered their partnership to the falling brand. Whether these two brands collaborate will be revealed shortly, as announced by Mr. Bahng, the CEO of The Lavish Layers."

Felix's eyes widens. Chan never told him about this. Maybe Chan did this to get a good name for his company? What's the use supporting a brand that's going down anyway? 

And just as Felix is in deep thought, Chan calls him.

"Hello?" Felix answers.

"Felix, hey this is urgent. You might've seen the news, yeah?" Chan asks, breathless.

"Yeah, something about you doing a partnership with The Divine Drape or something. Are you even in your right mind?" Felix scolds the man.

"Probably not." Chan chuckles, shuffling through papers. "Actually, I called you based on that."

"What?" Felix asks, suspicious of the older.

"Uhm- Hyunjin has agreed to this partnership," Chan says and Felix tilts his head.

"The CEO of the other company?" Felix questions.

"Yeah. Apparently, his secretary is leaving too and he's in a dire need of one," Chan explains.

Felix's eye twitch. "So you expect me to be his secretary?" Felix asks, bored and unimpressed.

"...well- yeah," Chan stutters.

A uncomfortable silence.

Felix gapes. "Hey! I was joking! You are too, right?"

Silence.

"Right?" Felix growls.

"Felix please," Chan whines.

"No."

"You're the only one I know qualified for that job!" Chan says.

"That doesn't mean I should do it," Felix refuses.

"Hey, please. He's really in a tough situation. His secretary is leaving too. Along with his other employees. It's taking a toll on him. He's a really nice guy if you get to know him, too," Chan tries to convince.

"Why do you think I'm fit for the job?" Felix's brow quirks, not giving an answer.

"Well, you have done Organising studies and Fashion designing. He needs the same too. You are already famous. Maybe if you join as his secretary, people will start believing that nothing wrong is happening. You can sew the tear shut," Chan explains.

"Oh? Just because he needs some event planners and fashion designers he wants me to join? To do the job of both?" Felix shrieks.

"Well, that's why he's offering you triple the normal salary," Chan says.

A silence.

"Triple?"

"Yeah, for event planning, fashion designing and doing your job as a secretary," Chan comments.

"But I'm already loaded. He can get someone else to be his assistant, now bye," Felix says and as he goes to cut the call, Chan mutters.

"Hey, do this favour for me, yeah? Please, it's the only time I've asked for something," Chan whispers and Felix sighs.

"If you care about that Hyunjin guy so much, you be his assistant then!" Felix whines.

"Hey! I'm a CEO too!"

"So what?"

"Please, just do it for me. Pleeaaase?"

A deep breath. Then a sigh. Some noises of inaudible groaning.

"Fine-"

"You know I love you so much?" Chan makes kissing noises and Felix turns green.

"Ew! Don't do that!"

"What? Kissing? Did you forget that I fucked you darling?" Chan smirks.

"That was when I was working in your company. Now I am not. So shut it," Felix blushes.

"Mhm. Okay. I'll let Hyunjin know that you are okay being his secretary," Chan huffs.

"And yeah. They'll send an email today at 3 or 4. Check it and reply, yeah?" Chan says.

"Yeah yeah, fine. Now bye," Felix cuts the call.

_

By half past three in the noon, Felix receives an email from The Divine Drape. Felix sighs, clicking open the email.

Lee Felix, 

                Greetings. I hope this email reached you in peace. The CEO of The Divine Drape, Mr. Hwang Hyunjin, is in dire need of a secretary. Due to the partnership between The Divine Drape and The Lavish Layers, Mr. Bang recommended you for the job. 

No interviews will be conducted. Mr. Bang already confirmed you were well qualified for the job, with two degrees. We will need your resume, ID photos and an address proof. You can start from the 21st of February. The pay will be triple.

Warm regards,

Mr. Seo, HR.

The Divine Drape.

For further information, contact this number: xxxxx-xxxxx

Email: [email protected]

Felix reluctantly sends a reply email, uploading his ID photos, his resume and his address proof with his work experience. As if anyone wouldn't know who he is.

And he re-reads the email. Finds out that he needs to start his new job the day after tomorrow. His freedom is slipping away from between his fingertips. 

Felix whines. "I shouldn't have done this!"

"Chan, the next time I meet you, you're dead meat." And Felix makes sure to send the older the statement too. Let Chan know his fucking disappointment.

_

Felix enjoys the time he has left for himself. That same night, he dresses up in leather, a leather jacket, leather pants that cling to his ass and a mesh top.

His long hair is left down, parted to the side. His makeup isn't to strong to cover his freckles, but not too light either. His glossy lips, the rhinestones embedded near his eyes, the smoky eye makeup, everything make him look seductive.

He takes his black Bugatti La Voiture Noire to the club, Levanter, flashing with red lights. All of his friends had agreed to meet him there, and once Felix entered, he directly went to the bar and ordered a Piña Colada. 

He sips his drink, weaves through the crowd and spots his friends chatting in a corner. He greets the throuple, chats with them for a while and finds a tall man with short blue hair staring at him. Slender, yet muscled.

Felix grins. Excuses himself and walks towards the taller. Just a whiff of the man's perfume made Felix tingle all over. They exchange pleasantries, and the man is very eager to take the blonde upstairs.

"You look great," Felix smirks.

"Not as you though," the man pulls Felix flush against his muscled body, the man's hard on digging into Felix's stomach.

"So, I don't have a cock between my legs," Felix whispers against the man's neck.

The stranger's gaze darkens. "Then I guess it's more interesting for me."

"Lead the way," Felix giggles when the man all but yanks him towards the stairs.

It's a long night for Felix.

_

After getting fucked two times in his ass and three times in his pussy, Felix is dripping when he gets home. He cleans himself up, and then collapses onto his bed, quickly dozing off.

In the morning, or rather, in the noon, Felix wakes up. All sore and disjointed as if he didn't have his insides rearranged just yesterday. Felix takes a long shower, cleaning himself and getting rid of the evidence of his activities last night.

He wears a butter yellow strappy frock and a white panties. He towel dries his blonde hair, rubbing incessantly until his hair is fluffy and clean. 

Feeding Luna, he threatens Chan over call.

"Do I have to do this?" Felix whines.

"You promised me yesterday! Don't back out now," Chan pouts.

"The next time I meet you, you better buy a coffin," Felix says while Chan scoffs.

"As if you would kill me," Chan purses his lips.

"Wanna try?" Felix asks, his voice eerily calm.

"No thanks. I'll enjoy my life while I still have it," Chan grumbles.

Felix talks to Chan about everything; Chan informs Felix about his new workplace and work related stuff. By the time they cut the call, it's almost five in the evening.

Felix stretches, walking towards the ceiling to floor windows, overlooking the Han river. It's peaceful, the sun is setting and Felix wants to go for a walk.

He carries Luna with him, allowing her to wander away knowing that she'll always come back. He walks along the streets of Seoul, the sun setting casting orangish yellow hues all over the entire city.

Felix wanders, watching couples walk by, their hands interlaced, their smiles directed at each other, like nothing in the world matters. Felix smiles. He wishes he had this privilege too.

Being famous, everything you do goes viral. Felix had to disguise himself to go out everytime. He doesn't think that being famous is too much of a hassle, but he wants fans who respect his privacy. Nothing else.

He doesn't care about those comments which say he looks too feminine; like, literally he has a pussy and not a dick. Not that these people know. Some of them say he's too skinny. He's learned to ignore these comments and go on with his daily life.

Street vendors call out to him, asking if he's interested in buying anything. He declines politely, but once trudges forward when he sees a baby blue sweater with white embroidered flowers. He purchases it, along with a yellow coloured scarf.

He also buys keychains—the four clover leaf, a duckling and a wolf. And then squeals in joy when he finds a bunny plushie, and a fox plushie. And he buys them too.

At last, he sits in one of the benches, with all his shopping bags next to him and stretches on it like a lazy cat. He finds an ice cream parlor.

He asks for a cone with three scoops—the first being regular chocolate chip, the second, cookies and cream and the last, chocolate.

"Do I know you?" The vendor asks, smiling softly.

"Maybe," Felix vaguely replies.

The vendor nods, and then smiles. "You're beautiful. You're kind of angelic in this sunset," the vendor grins.

"Thanks," Felix blinks, startled, yet happy.

"When you do get someone you love, do bring them here. I wanna see the beautiful couple," the vendor mischievously grins.

Felix chuckles. "When I find one, that is."

"You will, everyone has that someone who loves them without reason," the vendor nods, then takes out his wallet and shows a picture of him and a woman.

"This is me and my wife. I met her when I was twelve and she was ten. We were kind of bestfriends? I always saw her as a sibling. And then fate works it's wicked ways and brought her to me. Can't say I'm complaining though. I love her with all my heart, I just don't know how I saw her as my sister," the vendor recalls and Felix giggles.

"Everyone becomes dumb when they're in love," Felix smiles.

"Mhm. Don't forget though. I'd love to see you again. I'll always be here in the evenings," the vendor nods.

"You'll be the first person to meet my man."

"I'll be waiting!"

_

Felix takes the elevator to the twelfth floor, finding Luna already waiting for him. He opens the door with his keycard, venturing inside with all his shopping bags.

He watches the moon for some time, a soft melody playing in the background as Luna lounges in his lap. He strokes her fluffy fur, her tail swishing around as he tries to comb it with his fingers.

They sit together for a while until Felix sighs and orders dinner. Felix finally raises from the chair, prepares his bag for tomorrow, the documents needed and everything else.

Tomorrow's gonna be a really long day.

Chapter Text

Three years. Did those three years mean nothing to her? Hyunjin slams his head against the table. Stacks of paper arranged in accurate order of date and significance. Too clean. Too polished. Doesn't suit him at all.

The long floor-to-ceiling windows offer a clear view of the city. Since his office is on the topmost floor, sunlight peeks through the blinds, the city's chatters and the honking of the cars aren't heard up here. 

Totally containing fifteen floors, Hyunjin is located on the fifteenth floor, along with his secretary. The other floors are for various teams—social media team, PR team, the executives, directors, shareholders, design team, production team, marketing and sales team, support teams and other additional teams like research and development, sustainability team and an E-commerce team.

The design team consists of reputed fashion designers, design assistants, pattern makers, textile designers and illustrators. They take up the third and fourth floors.

The production team is run by many. Sample sewers, production managers, fit/showroom models and costume designers. They were given the fifth and the sixth floor.

The marketing and sales team has a public relations specialist, sales representatives, fashion stylists, fashion merchandisers and fashion buyers. They occupy the seventh and eighth floors.

Support team staff were originally given the ninth and tenth floors. But due to their busy schedule, they were given an office on each floor, just a small cubicle to keep things running. Photographers, graphic designers, accountants and IT support.

The additional team occupies the eleventh floor. The twelfth floor contains meeting rooms, board rooms, brainstorming areas, and some exquisite pieces of their fashion showcased as if it was an exhibition.

The thirteenth and fourteenth floors are for the executives, Directors and shareholders and their secretaries. The fifteenth floor was reserved only for him and his secretary.

He had established this. Built this from scratch. This was his. His own. 

His father was the Chairman. He never really visited the main headquarters, always choosing to stay at home or visit one of their showrooms. 

And Hazel was his secretary. He had first hired her five years ago. After pining over her for two long years, he had come to know that his secretary also wanted him. They had made it official then.

Spent three years with her. Loved her with all his heart. Went on several vacations — beach dates, café dates, and even gym dates with her. Loved to see her with a big smile on her face, no care in the world. Only him and her.

They'd sneak around during office hours, pecking each other's lips when no one was looking, an innocent touch to her thighs, and she'd smack his hand away with a chuckle. She would prepare a lunchbox for him daily. 

The others in the company didn't have a clue. They never knew that he was dating his secretary. It just seemed so natural — bringing lunch for him, keeping his tie in her bag, coming together to the office after having breakfast with him and his father, they thought it was professional, yes and friendly. Nothing else.

She was dedicated to her job, yes. She focused on every single detail that stood out. He never really had any complaints with her work. Many girls Hyunjin knew were gold diggers. But Hazel was not so. She'd fight him every time he paid, give him a piece of her mind if he bought anything costly, and she'd pay the next time they went out.

They would fool around during office hours, too. He doesn't have a count of how many times he had fucked her on his desk, on his couch, in the washroom, in the breakroom, giving him a blowjob underneath his table, and even riding him on his chair. Their sex life was amazing too.

He had also thought about proposing. Had already bought the rings. Planned everything with precise execution. And everything was ruined. He never got the chance to propose. 

She moved in sometime during the second year of their relationship. Seeing her sleepy face first thing in the morning would fill his heart with fondness. Brushing his lips against her's always felt like a dream. And maybe it was.

The early morning kisses, sometimes their passion overflowing so much that they end up making love. Their life was perfect.

What changed?

She started pulling away. Maybe it could have been the stress of the job, the demanding expectations, the executives, and their sales dropping by 20% proved to be a huge loss for the company. Shareholders started questioning, the media made articles, and the directors were upset. 

And the media started speculating about him 'involving' with his employees. There has to be a mole in the company. Or else, how would the media know this? They were very careful to keep it under wraps, but maybe someone in the company found out. And they didn't shut their mouths.

Hazel got stressed. Started pulling away. Arguments exploded. Doors were slammed. Hearts were broken. And Hyunjin? Could do nothing but watch everything slipping away from his fingers.

The media spoke nonsense. Every gala he had attended, every person he had spoken to had been recorded. They started debating who he was dating. Hazel got restless. And somehow, one fine day, it was revealed by someone that it was none other than his secretary.

Her photos were published worldwide. People began trash-talking her. She became the third most trending topic in X. She was accused of seducing him and sleeping her way to get the position. Hazel was overwhelmed. 

Hyunjin thought he could handle it by being at her side. But she didn't hold back. Even though Hyunjin tried to comfort her by being with her, her one statement made him feel broken in ways he couldn't explain.

"I'm just trying to help you! Listen, you don't have to keep listening to whatever shit the media says. I am with you-" Hyunjin gets interrupted.

"You are the problem! Being with you is the problem!" Hazel wails, falling to her knees.

And Hyunjin? His world shattered around him.

The silence? Overbearing. Hazel's wails only grow louder in volume. Hyunjin stands there, trying to mend his broken relationship and his broken heart.

"It's no good. Being seen with you brings every problem," Hazel blames Hyunjin, her heart broken too, but she seeks a person to accuse.

Hyunjin is the sacrificial lamb.

"What do you want me to do?" His voice is low, quiet, as if he spoke a little bit louder, he would break down too.

"Let's break up. We're done," Hazel murmurs.

Hyunjin looks up. "You're willing to throw away three years we've spent together without a fight?" He looks exhausted, broken.

"What can we even do, Hyunjin? My life is all over the media, my career broken, my knowledge questioned. They say I slept my way through to get this position! They say I'm a whore!" Hazel sobs, heart-wrenching.

Hyunjin kneels down to her level. "You're not anything they say, you know? They just want information and people to accuse and ruin their lives. We don't have to give them the satisfaction of that, live on for me, live on for yourself, not for the media," Hyunjin whispers, hugging her lean frame, and Hazel melts into him, still sobbing.

Hyunjin pulls her into his lap, and she leans down into his shoulder. Tears wet his tee, but he doesn't mind it. They sit like that together in silence, Hyunjin murmuring soft praises, patting her back while Hazel continues to let everything out.

And at a certain point in time, she shakily whispers, "I can't, Jin. I can't, I'm sorry," she cries.

And Hyunjin comforts her through it, sitting there like his heart isn't breaking into a million pieces. But now, he has to be strong for her. He can't break down. 

_

His blurry eyes try to focus. But he gives up halfway. His heart hurts. Everything he's built comes crashing down on his head. Hazel is quitting in one week. He needs a new secretary. The shareholders are upset. 

How did the sales fall by twenty percent? He swears he'd been really careful with everything, the autumn collection was great, received well by the public, then where did it go wrong?

Hyunjin wants to pull off his hair. And fuck, everything hurts. His heart, and his mind, his whole body needs rest. He knows it. But whenever he does go back to his home, all he can remember is the emptiness. The place feels colder. The nights are brutal. He sleeps in the same room where they previously slept, and her scent lingers on his sheets.

She packed up and left. Only one more week with him in the company. Then, it all becomes a dream.

They broke up.

Anguish, the feeling of ripping his heart out, is better than whatever he's feeling right now. Raw pain, his love is slipping away from his fingers. 

Fuck you, media and paparazzi!

This emptiness is new to him. He doesn't know how he survived before Hazel, but now, he wishes he were rather better off dead than alive. What can he do? The world plucked his lover from his grip.

Hazel was his everything. His mother died when he was seven. His father tried to do his mother's role as well. But the gap remained. A mother's love is unattainable.

He became focused on studies. Studied so well, became his father's successor, altered the company to how he saw it, and now, it's blooming. His father may have been the one who planted it, but he was the one who watered it. 

Becoming the youngest CEO ever in history, he became the boss at the age of twenty-one. Spent six years in this seat. He has all the power to do anything he wants with the company.

At twenty-three, he met Hazel. She was a rare beauty. Brown long hair, hazel eyes, pink lips, long lashes and a slim body. He never really knew when he fell for her—maybe it was when she brought him coffee, or when she had prepared him lunch after noticing that he couldn't eat due to back-to-back meetings.

He fell for her. He was determined not to take action, but his resolve lasted only for a while. Her long, auburn hair descended down in waves, smooth and shiny, catching the light in the most elegant way possible, her eyes soft with understanding and fondness. Her lips, soft yet plump, pink and kissable. Her whole frame? Slender, her waist perfect for his hands to hold, her ass perfect in every way, her boobs just the right size. He loved her too damn much. He loves her too much. And he doesn't know how to let go.

And so, Hyunjin crumbles. Not into tears, not into sorrow. Into someone he himself doesn't know. A strong front to hide his broken soul. A cold exterior to heal his restless mind. And a tough character to never love, ever again.

Is this all his life was meant to be? Sit at the head of the table, bark orders to his underlings, and then return to a cold mansion? One with no signs of life, a cold bed, something that reflects his soul? Is this all he's meant to be? Alone?

Everything he has built seems worthless now. He's alone. He put his whole heart into loving Hazel. And now? The media ruined it. Ruined the only thing that felt like his. 

What would he even do with the ring now? Throw it away? But he doesn't have the heart to do it. But seeing it would trigger everything. 

His life—his whole life he had been trained. How to act, how to seal a deal without creating a fuss with the other companies, the perfect etiquette, his posture, his behaviour, his attitude, how he should behave in front of the media — everything was trained.

But Hazel? She just came along. Got along too well with him. His friends were happy he had gotten himself a source of happiness. Hazel seemed perfect.

So he poured his whole soul into the relationship. Loved her so hard he thought he might break. Worshipped the ground she walked, kissed her good morning, made her breakfast like a proper gentleman, satisfied all her desires, and kept her happy.

And in turn, Hazel would smile at him whenever their eyes met; her smile would erase every tension he had gone through. She brightened his life with her colours and unadulterated happiness. She was pure joy. Loved visiting the beach. Ice cream was a must wherever they went.

Their movie nights were perfect. Tangled together under the blue light of the TV, under the blankets, munching on something. Sometimes, their movie night would take a wild turn.

She'd drop to her knees suddenly. Hyunjin would already know. He would already be hard. She would suck him off as if her life depended on it, and Hyunjin would enjoy it so damn much.

Her pink lips wrapped around his long shaft...it felt like heaven. She'd look at him like she knew how much power she had over the man, and she did. Hyunjin made sure she knew. He expressed it in every single action.

Sometimes, he'd grab her long auburn hair and fuck her throat. She'd moan, loud and breathless, but Hyunjin knew she liked it. Liked the pain. So, he'd thrust into her throat, like it was carved for his dick, and of course it was.

Some days, they'd take it soft and slow. Love making. Whispered confessions, soft praises, love and worship mingling together in an unknown bliss—and god, did they love it. Her soft breasts would bounce up and down in time with his soft thrusts, her neck littered with marks that Hyunjin suggested she shouldn't cover. 

As much as they loved their soft love making, they also liked it hard and rough. When Hyunjin would absolutely lose control and fuck her pussy until it was only a hole to relieve himself. Knees on the bed, ass up, face down was their best position so far. Hyunjin would sink into her pussy, then insert a dildo in her ass and would pull her hair, so that her face is lifted off the bed. He'd fuck her like that, sometimes sitting on the heel of his feet, spreading her legs and would thrust up to her. Their sex life was never boring.

He can never hold onto something for long and not break it. Everything he's touched is broken now. Maybe he's cursed. Maybe that's the cue for him that he isn't meant for anyone. Loneliness would be his best friend. Silence, his lover.

Maybe he isn't meant to love. He's destined to be alone, wallowing in heartbreak and his first love, whom he let slip out of his hands. He's crazy for wanting someone to love him wholeheartedly when he's in the spotlight daily. Of course, the media will want to tear his life apart.

Is it okay to love? When he's like this because of love?

_

Dizzy. That's how he feels.

The blinding lights, the pinks, blues and reds combining together to give him a headache. The smell of sweat and cologne overpowers the scent of the bar and the drinks. It's overcrowded, bodies dancing against each other in a reckless groove.

He's at a club. Not to fuck. But to drown his thoughts. He gulps down drink after drink, vodka, margaritas, mojitos, tequila — you name it. He's slightly tipsy, and he's in no mood to entertain small talk. The girl next to him drones on about something he doesn't even care about, and he halfway tells her to shut up. 

His ears are ringing. The bass is low, thrumming against the walls and under his skin, vibrating with some kind of drunk energy. He doesn't know if he loves it or hates it.

The girl huffs as she vanishes out of his sight. Thank god. He didn't know how much longer he could keep hearing her squeaky voice and not get an ear bleed. Many strangers come up to him for a fuck, or for his number. He doesn't know. He ignored them until his patience ran out. 

"It's not like you're gonna evaporate if you have fun, you know?" Minho sips from his cognac, his hair and suit pristine like always.

"Shut up," Hyunjin groans, drowning his whole glass in one go, and the bartender slides him another one. An Irish red ale.

He's never tried that one before, but it's never too late to try out anything new, he supposes.

"Keep drinking and I'm not gonna take care of your sorry ass," Minho warns, pulling Jisung closer to him.

"Be nice to him," Jisung smacks the other on the arm. "You know he's been down for a while," Jisung gestures vaguely, avoiding the topic of his breakup.

Minho sighs. It's been five days since Hyunjin's breakup. Five days since they've all been walking on eggshells around him. They don't know when he'll break. They want to avoid it as much as possible. It is a sensitive topic for the CEO right now.

"Hey, come on! Let's dance," Changbin suggests.

Hyunjin refuses. "Noo..I'm not in the mood for that," Hyunjin blinks.

"Not in the mood to dance with me?" Changbin gasps dramatically, clutching his chest as if Hyunjin's rejection physically pains him.

"It's just one dance. You're not gonna die if you have some fun," Seungmin chides gently, knowing that Hyunjin's mental state is very fragile.

"The last time I danced was with...her." Hyunjin's demeanor changes in the blink of an eye.

Jisung cuddles closer to Hyunjin. Changbin sighs, "Oh baby," and then hugs the other. 

"Why hyung? Did those three years mean nothing to her? She- she even told that being with me was the problem," Hyunjin sniffs, and Jeongin looks unsure of what to do.

But when everyone thought Hyunjin would break down completely, the taller man took a sharp breath, schooling his features. He doesn't want to cry in front of anyone. 

Instead, he buries his face in the crook of Changbin's neck. And it feels so warm and gentle. What he doesn't see is Changbin and Minho exchanging worried glances, watching him stuff all his feelings into his heart until it bursts.

He's soon passed around and somehow ends up in Minho's lap. He just sits there, numb and dazed, unfocused eyes staring at everything and nothing in particular.

Minho's hands pat his back softly, as if comforting the man. Hyunjin doesn't say anything, but he nuzzles deeper into Minho's neck.

"You're just a big cuddly baby!" Minho huffs out a laugh, and it brings a small smile to Hyunjin's lips.

"Am not."

"You are."

"No! Am not," Hyunjin pouts, pulling back from where he's muffling his answers into Minho's throat. 

Minho smiles at Hyunjin's mussled hair, his pouty lips and his innocent eyes. "You're so cute I could fuck you right now," Minho whispers.

Hyunjin blinks. Then smacks Minho.

"Your husband is literally next to you, motherfucker! And I'm straight!" Hyunjin screeches.

"Well, Jisung also wants you, if that isn't obvious," Minho states bluntly, watching as Jisung flushes red from his throat.

Hyunjin's jaw drops open.

"I'm literally your boss! You can't talk to me like that!" Hyunjin squeaks, dumbfounded.

"So? Do you want us or not?" Minho smirks, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No! I'm straight, damn it!" Hyunjin jumps off Minho's lap and finds an erection in the other's lap.

Hyunjin gasps, traumatized. "Don't tell me that thing was poking my ass!"

Minho blinks like a Cheshire cat. Then his lips stretch into a wide grin.

Hyunjin feels his soul drain out of him. "Oh my god, my friends are perverts!"

Minho never stopped grinning. But he pulled Jisung upwards by his wrist and dragged the shorter to the washroom.

The conversation continued, but all Hyunjin felt was a hollowness in his soul. He had done this so many times with her, too. Dragging her to the washroom, fucking her in one of the stalls, dancing with her under the strobe lights, their sweaty bodies grinding against each other — a bitter feeling that Minho had somehow managed to keep Jisung and even marry him, while his relationship crumbled.

And so, he drank. Drink after drink merged together as one, and at a certain point in time, he lost any semblance of clarity. Reality disappeared. Maybe he could live in his dreams for once, and get delusional that they were still together.

_

"Ugh! I shouldn't have drank so much last night," Hyunjin groans, clutching his head between his hands.

"And I told I won't take care of your sorry ass," Minho rubs his temples.

"But still you're doing it," Hyunjin points out the obvious.

"Do you want me to leave and make you suffer?" Minho growls, stirring the hangover soup he's been preparing.

"Noo..don't leave me alone..I don't wanna be alone," Hyunjin's voice drops to an uncertain whisper, and Minho sighs.

"I'm not leaving, okay? Stop rolling around in bed and go brush your fucking teeth," Minho chides, pulling away Hyunjin's blankets from him.

Hyunjin groans loudly, stumbling out of his bedroom in reckless abandon and into the kitchen. Immediately, Minho pinches his nose shut.

"You fucking stink!"

"I do not!" Hyunjin frowns, but sniffs himself anyway.

And finds a pungent odour emanating from him. That's his fucking drinks from yesterday. Shit.

"How many days have you not showered?" Minho cries, pinching his nose shut even harder, making Hyunjin giggle at the other's reaction.

"I shower daily, mind you!" Hyunjin throws his socks at the other.

Minho gags, picking up Hyunjin's socks and aiming them back at him. "Ew! Keep your smelly feet and socks to yourself!"

Hyunjin grins, but obediently goes to the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. After approximately fifteen minutes, he re-enters the living room with a towel on his sopping wet hair.

Minho is in the living room, texting someone, probably Jisung, judging by the smile. "Jisung?" Hyunjin asks.

"Yeah," Minho chuckles.

Hyunjin smiles at the older. He had someone who would be with him throughout his life. His smile slips away, remembering the someone he thought he would spend his whole life with.

Is this how his life is gonna be? Remembering her in every moment of his life and losing his happiness? What will he do if he finds someone else whom he loves, and still, she is in his mind? What will he do then?

Minho tsks. "You're thinking too hard, come on. I'll dry your hair for you," Minho beckons him closer.

Minho sits on the black velvet couch, and Hyunjin sits on the floor between the other's legs. The older takes the towel and dries the taller off, rubbing gently.

Once they were done, Minho comes back from the kitchen with a bowl in his hands. He places the bowl in Hyunjin's hands and orders him to eat. Hyunjin obeys.

You're new secretary is gonna come in two days," Minho informs.

"Yeah, what's his name?" Hyunjin slurps the soup.

"Lee Felix, I think? Wait, Felix? Lee Felix? The model?" Minho rapidly blinks.

Hyunjin looks at him. "Why? What is it?"

Minho shows an article on his iPad. 

Lee Felix headlines once more after Milan fashion week! Becomes the only celebrity to headline the event thrice...read more.

"He's a model?" Hyunjin frowns, reading the article.

Hyunjin scrolls down and sees a picture of Felix, wearing a black cropped shirt with a collar and red crystals embedded in the lapels. There is an upside-down V-cut, revealing his abs, but it is covered by a tulle netted fabric. It's covered, but also visible.

The pants are tight, that Hyunjin can say for sure. So tight, it hugs the other's thighs and ass. And combat boots to complete the look. His belt hangs loosely around his waist.

His long hair is let down, framing his face with strands of golden hair. His eye makeup is flattering. Black gemstones in the inside of his eye, smoky eyeshadow and his freckles were visible. His pink lips were glossy. And just seeing him..did something to Hyunjin.

He's pretty, yeah. 

"Is he Felix?" Hyunjin asks dumbly.

"How have you ever been the CEO of a fashion brand without knowing the most trending topic on social media?" Minho facepalms.

"He's... famous?" Hyunjin quirks a brow.

"I have seen him in news articles, yes. But I didn't know he was Felix," Hyunjin says, examining the blonde once more.

"Ooh, he looks so pretty! Maybe he has a partner?" Minho ponders out loud.

"How does Chan even know this guy?" Hyunjin asks.

"I don't know. Maybe ask him when he comes after two days as your secretary," Minho nods.

"Mhm," Hyunjin hums.

"Maybe I'll ask him whether he'll be interested in a threesome," Minho grins, his cat-like eyes taking in every picture of Felix.

And Hyunjin felt a deep-seated discomfort at Minho's statement. He shouldn't be affected like this; he doesn't even know this Felix guy, but something prevents him.

"Nothing is happening between you and my employees," Hyunjin stops the other.

"It's just a threesome, it's not like it's gonna affect work and all. And if he's willing, why not?" Minho shrugs.

"Keep it outside of work. I don't want to see you fantasizing about my secretary," Hyunjin frowns, trying to control his anger.

"...okay? But whatever you say, it's his choice. If he's into guys, then me and Jisung are gonna try," Minho provokes the taller.

Hyunjin doesn't say anything. But by the clenching of his jaw, something clicks in Minho's mind.

"Are you maybe...jealous?" Minho smirks, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Me? No! I don't even know the guy. And I'm straight, I don't like guys," Hyunjin refuses.

"Says you. Then shut up and let me have a chance at Felix," Minho huffs.

Hyunjin purses his lips, displeased. But what can he do? Nothing.

_

Hyunjin sighs.

"The fuck are you doing here?" 

Minho blinks. "I came to see my best friend."

"Well, you saw me. Now get out of my office," Hyunjin points to the door.

Minho pouts. "I did take care of your hangover yesterday, right? So you better let me stay here," Minho huffs.

Hyunjin sighs. "At least get out of my chair, then! The couch is free there," Hyunjin grits his teeth.

To the public eye, if anyone were to see them now, they'd assume Minho is the boss and Hyunjin, his secretary.

"Okay, okay, fine. I'm going to the couch," Minho says, side-eyeing the man.

"Why are you here anyway?" Hyunjin plops down on his office chair. 

"To see you, obviously," Minho grunts as he drops down on the couch.

"It's office hours. Go do your job. I don't pay you for doing nothing," Hyunjin types away on his laptop.

"You're no fun," Minho shakes his head.

"Yes. I'm not a fun person to be with. Now go do your job or bother Jisung. He's literally your husband, bother him, bro," Hyunjin scowls.

"I came here after bothering him," Minho clarifies.

Hyunjin facepalms.

"So you haven't been working since noon?" Hyunjin asks.

"Yes," Minho grins proudly.

"You'll see a cut in your salary this month, enjoy!" Hyunjin claps.

Minho's jaw drops open. "How could you betray our brotherhood?"

"Brotherhood? More like you trying to get me into your threesome. You and your perverted mind," Hyunjin snorts.

"You won't actually cut my salary, right?" Minho blinks.

"Out." 

"You won't, right?" 

"Get out."

"You-"

"Fucking seriously, how did you even manage to become one of the executives? I'm surprised," Hyunjin grumbles, flipping through the files.

"You won't -"

"I won't! Now get out!" Hyunjin growls.

"Fine," Minho grins, and then gets up to leave.

"How did he even get hired?" Hyunjin whispers.

"I heard that!"

"Shit."

But just before Minho could leave, he turned around. "Hey, Hyunjin."

"Yeah?" Hyunjin looks up from his laptop.

"You know you are allowed to cry, right?" Minho asks, his voice gentle.

"Cry? I can't. Not when everyone expects me to be strong for the company. For everyone's benefit. I can't break down now," Hyunjin scoffs, his voice bitter.

"You don't have to put up with the strong front, Hyunjin. You're allowed to cry, too. Don't stuff all these unexpressed feelings inside yourself. Once it explodes, it will take a lot of time to find yourself once again," Minho says, his eyes soft with unsaid words.

Hyunjin doesn't exactly nod. Just stares at Minho. 

"We're always here for you, yeah?" Minho smiles.

"I know," Hyunjin nods softly, his voice raspy with barely contained emotions.

_

Hazel comes in often to deliver something — be it his coffee, a document, to say that something has been scheduled in his free time, dinner appointments...and every time she comes in, Hyunjin finds a way to ignore her. Either outright ignore her, or just nod along to whatever she says until she leaves.

Tears collect in his eyes, but he manages to contain them. He can't cry now. He can't break down now. He shouldn't cry when he's the one who made his lover's life hell. It's because of him that her face is all over the media. He doubts she'll ever have a normal life after this incident.

He ruined it all for her. It's his fault. If he could've just controlled himself better, he wouldn't have given in to his feelings for her. Everything could've been well. He's at fault. 

His fame ruined her image. These nosy people just want to know what goes on in other people's lives. And break everything they have good. His fame is his downfall. It's all because he's a public figure.

What if he cannot live the life he wanted to just because of his fame? This fashion industry knows his name. It's not exactly a secret that he's well known. His brand has excelled greatly. Now, both his personal life and his professional life are falling.

And he doesn't know which he should save first. Because if he lets go of one, the other will fall right out of his hands. He can only hold onto one thing. And maybe, that decision is the hardest to take.

Tears drop down his cheeks and onto his papers, but he doesn't give a shit right now. His heart is heavy. His mind is overloaded. His mental health is deteriorating. And he puts up a strong front, like nothing is wrong with him, and that he's good enough to lead the company in this state.

Maybe that might be his first mistake.

Chapter Text

The morning sun paints shades of yellows on his freckled face. Felix groans, rolling around in his bed, but then jolts awake when his loud, annoying alarm starts ringing.

And yay, it's his first day of work, how annoying.

Felix grumbles. Why did he even accept Chan's offer? He's absolutely regretting it now. No more sleep, just running on caffeine. He dreads the forthcoming days.

Hauling his lazy ass up from his wonderful bed, he drags through the room and into the bathroom.

He hastily finishes his works, grabs a banana, gobbling it down while he ponders over what he'll wear. He just huffs, grabbing a maroon dress shirt and a pale brown dress pants.

He figures he'll just leave his hair down. Adding light makeup, he straightens his blond hair and wanders into the kitchen. He prepared his bag last night, so the only thing he needs to do now is to eat breakfast and then grab his bag and go to work.

Felix sighs. He does not want to go to work. Chan, you stupid bastard...

He figures pancakes would be easier to make, so he fishes out the flour, sugar and other essential ingredients. He melts some unsalted butter, whisks the wet ingredients along with two eggs, some vanilla essence and adds the dry ingredients.

And soon enough, he's sitting at the dining table, munching on pancakes as he feeds Luna her food too. He prepares the automatic cat feeder too, just in case. And he's sure that he'll come home late, who'll feed the poor cat then?

He hastily grabs his bag and his BMW 3 series keys when he notices the time. And so, his life starts off into something new.

_

The skyscraper grey metallic car sits carefully in the parking lot. Felix deems it okay to be left there, and is sure that there will be no damage to the car.

He steps inside the building. A tall building, with fifteen floors, he guesses. Their brand's logo, The Divine Drape is curled excessively stylish and elegant, with just one glance it seems expensive and gives the 'rich vibes.'

The lobby is painted with golden lights. A really good ambience, Felix notes.

He approaches the woman at the desk. "Hello? I'm the new secretary for Mr. Hwang," Felix says.

The woman's eyes widen, before she schools her expression. But still, there's a trace of pity in her eyes. Her name tag reads 'Giselle.'

Felix doesn't understand. What's that look on her face?

"So you're Felix?" Giselle clarifies. Felix nods.

Her face crumbles even more. She blinks a few times, then smiles robotically. "Ah, you're right on time. Mr. Hwang is awaiting your arrival," Giselle nods.

"Just take the elevator to the topmost floor, the fifteenth floor, and there will be a person to guide you," Giselle points to the elevator and Felix hums.

"Thank you," Felix smiles.

But Giselle only purses her lips and sighs. "If you need any help, just ask for my number from the others! I'll be there to help!" She calls out.

Felix gives her a thumbs up and gets in the elevator. Why was Giselle looking at him like he's pitiful?

And Felix regrets it already.

The elevator pings when it gets to the fifteenth floor, and it is by some good magic that no one gets in that elevator halfway.

He steps outside of the elevator, and looks around. The same golden lighting, fake plants potted in white pots give the inside a little more flavour. Designated lights hang around like it's festive season, and oh, Felix is in love with the interior.

Doesn't seem like an office, though. But it looks so beautiful.

And there's a desk. A woman sits there, her brown hair cascading down till her waist, covering her face shut like a elegant curtain. And on top of the desk sits a name plaque: Hazel.

Ah, so she's the one, Felix muses. The one to get wrapped up in schedules and scandals. He approaches the woman, but she doesn't seem to make any movement. She hasn't seen him yet.

"Excuse me?" He asks, the deep timbre of his voice escaping a bit, which makes her snap her head towards the voice.

And he finally sees her. A beautiful woman indeed. Her long, auburn, wavy hair bounces with each movement that makes him wonder if her hair is so healthy unlike his.

Her tanned skin gives a glow. Her eyes are mesmerizing, her lips seem to be pillowy soft, and her figure..damn. If Felix wasn't gay and had an actual dick, he would've definitely dated her and maybe married her too.

She's beautiful.

And hence he says it out loud. "You're beautiful," he blabbers.

Hazel blinks twice, then chuckles. "Why, thank you." She smiles brightly.

"You must be the new secretary, wait.. Felix right? The model?" She asks, her excited voice sounding like a little chirp that Felix smiles too.

"Yeah, that's me," he admits.

"I know it's unprofessional, but, can you maybe- uh..sign something for me? I've been your fan ever since you entered fashion industry," Hazel confesses.

Surprised, Felix gasps. "That long?"

"Yeah, you were really cool in all those runaways too! And you totally rocked that pink hair," Hazel nods, like she's correct.

"Oh..that's so sweet of you, thank you! You're really nice," Felix chuckles.

"I try to be my best version of myself everyday. But somedays just aren't it," she sighs, but brightens up pretty quickly.

Yet, a profound sadness laces her features, sinking into every deep pore. Her eyes reflect her emotions like a mirror, and he sees nothing but tiredness, and grief. Longing yet restraint, love and yet, heartbreak.

"Let me get your documents. They did inform you to bring your ID photos, resume and address proof, right?" Hazel questions, and Felix hands it over to her without an issue.

"Okay then. Let me introduce you to Mr. Hwang," Hazel says, nodding to Felix.

Felix follows the woman. Soon, they arrive in front of a frosted glass door, making everything inside seem blurred. There's a figure inside, tall and composed, sitting at his desk and focused on his laptop.

Hazel knocks.

"Come in," a voice calls out. And soon, Felix enters the CEO's office after Hazel.

And alas, his eyes and lungs seem to have stopped functioning altogether. There, at the desk, sits the most prettiest, the most handsome man Felix has ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes on.

With his long black hair brushing his shoulders, Mr. Hwang looks like everyone's wet dream. His sharp eyes, and the little mole beneath his left eye, isn't he just the cutest and the hottest?

Felix swears he can visibly see his soul leaving his body. The CEO is clad in a long sleeved white dress shirt with grey dress pants, the grey coat draped over the ergonomic office chair.

Some strands of hair fall into his face, framing the already beautiful face into one of a heavenly creature's. Or maybe the devil himself. 

Those sharp, dark eyes, those plump, pink lips and damn his jawline and Adam's apple, Felix just wants to suck on it!

And judging by the way the dress shirt clings to the man's body, he is definitely built. How would he look beneath all those layers of clothing? 

And don't get him started on his thighs. Damn! 

Those long slender fingers type quicker on the laptop, and Felix can already imagine his boss' veiny fingers plunging deep inside him, drawing out moan after moan. Maybe, Mr. Hwang would make him roll onto his stomach and fuck him senseless. His pussy would be throbbing. And maybe take his ass apart too. 

God, he's drooling.

Is it absolutely illegal to kidnap a gorgeous man? For scientific purposes, of course.

"Will you stop staring at me?" Mr. Hwang voices out, his tone cold.

Felix blinks himself out of his stupor. Shit, he didn't even notice his boss looking at him and now the other is gonna think he's a creep.

Good lord, save him from embarrassment.

"Ah- I was just zoning out," Felix gives the other an awkward smile, but Mr. Hwang doesn't even consider him.

Hazel, sensing the tension, steps in. "Mr. Hwang, this is Lee Felix, your new secretary. Felix, this is Hwang Hyunjin, the CEO of The Divine Drape," she helps them introduce.

But Hyunjin doesn't acknowledge him.

"Are you sure he's eligible to work here?" Hyunjin doesn't spare him a glance but rather speaks to his other secretary. Hazel looks nervous now, stepping in again to defend Felix. And Felix's blood boils.

"Yes, sir-" Hazel is cut off by Felix himself.

"I have two degrees: one in fashion designing, the other in organising studies. I am, in fact, very well qualified for this job," Felix grits his teeth, while still trying to give his boss a smile. It comes off as an angry smile, though.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion, Mr. Lee," Hyunjin glares at him.

"Then you should know, I didn't come here voluntarily. That idiot Chan told me to. I can very well quit the job right here and right now. If you keep being an asshole, forget about having a secretary," Felix scowls.

"The fuck did you say?" Hyunjin stands up, rising to his full height and towering over Felix.

That shouldn't seem hot, but damn it does. But Felix isn't one to give up without a fight.

"Forget about having a secretary if you keep being an asshole. Maybe you need to get your ears checked, Mr. Hwang," Felix tilts his head, mocking the taller.

"Maybe you need to know your place, Mr. Lee. Talking back to your boss on the first day of work isn't the best impression," Hyunjin grits out, his face schooling into something sharper, as if nothing can get past him.

"And I don't intend to make the best impression if the boss is you!" Felix growls at the other, before turning around on his heels and walking to the door.

"I haven't dismissed you yet," Hyunjin's voice comes uninterested, yet cold.

"And I don't need your permission."

Felix steps out of Hyunjin's office without turning back.

_

"Couldn't you be nicer to him? What the hell is wrong with you?" Hazel yells at Hyunjin.

"Ms. Hazel, I suggest you get out of this room before I start saying something really hurtful." Hyunjin sits down again, brushing his hair back and tries to focus on his work, but his anger gets to him first.

"Hyunjin, listen to me, please. It's not fair to him, too. Think about that. He came all the way just to be your secretary. He doesn't need to help you, yet he came. Won't you be nice to him?" Hazel pleads.

"Oh? It's not fair to him, but it's fair to me?" Hyunjin questions.

"I... don't understand."

"Is it fair to leave me when things get tough? Is it fair to throw away our relationship like it never mattered to you? Is it fair to throw me away like I never meant anything to you? It's not fair to Felix, but it's fair to me?" Hyunjin asks, his chest heaving with gasps.

His voice gets smaller and smaller. His voice cracks in the middle with too much pent-up frustration and emotions.

Tears gather at his lashline, but he immediately turns away from Hazel, hiding himself from her. His once safe place isn't one now.

"Leave."

Hazel's heart hurts. "Hyunjin, please-"

"I said leave!"

"... okay."

_

Felix fumes all the way to the secretary's desk, which is soon to be his.

Is it absolutely illegal to kidnap a rude motherfucker? For different purposes this time.

He sits on an ergonomic office chair, next to Hazel's, and spins and spins until he's able to take his mind off of the gorgeous motherfucker just down the corridor.

After a while, Hazel comes out too, but she's almost in tears. Felix blinks, surprised. What is he supposed to do?

"He's just pissed off because of something. Don't become disheartened, he's not like this always. And please don't leave. He'll suffer more if you leave," Hazel whispers, her voice shaky and broken.

Felix just nods. What else can he do?

But when Hazel continues to cry silently, he sighs. Let everything be damned. He approaches her silently, opening his arms, indicating she's free to hug him if she does want a hug.

Hazel doesn't hesitate, but jumps into the open arms. Felix comforts her through her sobs, even murmuring some soft assurances that everything will be fine. 

He doesn't know how much time passes, but the elevator opens. A man, almost the same height as him, enters the floor. The man resembles a cat so much, Felix thinks it might just be a cat in human form.

The man stops when he sees Hazel sobbing into Felix's arms and grimaces. He just offers a small smile to Felix and a nod before sprinting to Hyunjin's office.

After some moments, Hazel's sobs slowly start dying down. She pulls away from Felix's arms, sniffs while she tries to wipe away her tears. 

Felix hands a tissue. Hazel takes it and fixes her makeup too. 

"I'm so sorry! I ruined your shirt, too!" Hazel points to Felix's wet shirt, and she tears up again.

"I just can't do anything right, can I? I'm useless at this point," Hazel murmurs.

"Hey, that's just a piece of cloth, and you're not useless, okay? Just because circumstances aren't going your way, it doesn't mean that you are useless. You are more than you think," Felix tells her.

"But still. It's your first day of work, and I ruined it," Hazel hiccups.

"There's nothing to ruin. My day was already ruined when Chan told me I was going to be someone's secretary," Felix jokes.

Hazel giggles and then excuses herself to the washroom. Something about fixing her makeup and her face, Felix guesses.

And Felix takes more tissues to at least wipe his shirt. And it doesn't help much, but at least it absorbs the wetness. 

This doesn't feel like an office. It's more like lovers' quarrel, and he's the forced therapist here. Dammit, he knows he shouldn't have trusted that Chan. Next time he sees the man, the other had better pray that he doesn't meet Felix again.

He sits idly for a while. Waiting for someone to show up and tell him what the hell he has to do. But no one arrives.

Felix facepalms himself. This situation is getting ridiculous. And it's better if he spends his time on Instagram and roasting Chan through texts.

He sighs. Then raises his head when he hears the elevator ping once again. In enters a curly-haired, bubbly-cheeked squirrel, and Felix wonders if the man will allow him to squish his cheeks.

But whatever. The man is probably gonna go to Hyunjin's office like the other cat man. He's surprised when the squirrel man approaches Felix.

"Hey, you're Felix, right? Hyunjin's new secretary?" The squirrel asks.

Felix nods.

"I'm Han Jisung. The HR's assistant," Han smiles as he stretches out his hand. Felix shakes it.

"Nice to meet you," Felix says, still puzzled as to why the other is speaking with him right now.

"I know you're puzzled, but I'll talk to you later, hmm? And yeah, give me your number," Han says, already giving his phone out to Felix.

Felix types in his number and saves it. "We could be working besties," Han smiles widely, then salutes off while rushing to Hyunjin's office.

"That guy is literally like a cartoon character," Felix giggles, amused.

Hazel comes after a few minutes, bare-faced after washing her face thoroughly. 

"Why'd you wipe off your makeup?" Felix asks, bewildered.

"I just don't feel like it," Hazel replies, her smile not reaching her eyes, and her eyes tired and droopy.

"Ah, sorry. Were you waiting for me this whole time? Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Hazel squeaks as she bows, but Felix only chuckles.

"It's fine. I was talking with someone called Han Jisung? Roasting Chan, too, side by side," Felix admits.

Hazel giggles. "You and Mr. Bang seem very close," she notes.

"Ah, yes. He was my first boss. I was his secretary at first, then he told me I had great potential for modelling. Tried it out. And I'm here," Felix smiles.

"He's always been kind of a best friend? He doesn't give off those bossy vibes, though," Felix continues. "But he's a great leader."

"Seems like you both get along well, that's great!" Hazel smiles and then proceeds to open her laptop.

And finally, Felix is instructed about everything in the office and his work. 

_

The intercom suddenly buzzes to life. "Mr. Lee, come to my office now." And then, it dies off.

Felix looks at Hazel, and Hazel is already looking at him. "It might be to discuss about something? I don't know," Hazel shrugs.

Felix sighs. "I'll go check," he says, and then walks to the other's office.

He knocks. "Come in," a soft voice calls out from the other side.

Inside, the other two men from before sit on the couch next to each other. Han Jisung and the other cat-like man.

And Hyunjin at his usual ergonomic chair. "You called me, Mr. Hwang?" Felix asks.

"Yeah, to discuss about something. You'll get a laptop and a phone for company use. And you'll need to come to my house every day by seven in the morning," Hyunjin says.

"Every day? Why?" Felix questions, confused.

"To meet my father. Not every day. Just on working days," Hyunjin clarifies.

"Why...why would you want me to meet your father?" Felix is beyond confused. He tilts his head, frowns in befuddlement.

"My father's the chairman. He believes that if we establish a strong relationship with the employees, nothing is bound to go wrong." Hyunjin rolls his eyes, scoffing at the irony of the statement.

"So, I'm supposed to be at your house by seven?" Felix clarifies.

"Yeah."

There goes his sleep.

"Fine. Just send me your address," Felix sighs.

"You can park your car in my garage. You are supposed to come with me in my car to the office," Hyunjin tells.

"Why? Your father wants us to go together, too? Can't you convince your father to, y'know, let me drive myself to the office?" Felix whines in frustration.

"I am equally frustrated. But this is what I've been following with Ms. Hazel all these days, and he will question if I don't follow the same with you too," Hyunjin sighs.

"What? Does he not know about your relationship with Hazel?" Felix asks, bewildered.

Hyunjin blinks. "How do you know about that?" Hyunjin sounds equally bewildered.

"It isn't some math shit, genius! Of course, I know!" Felix slumps down in the chair opposite Hyunjin in defeat.

"So he doesn't know?"

"No."

"Wonderful. How marvellous!" Felix sighs.

After a few moments of silence, he accepts his fate. "Fine then, just don't work late, okay? You're the only means of transport I have to get home," Felix grumbles.

"Mhm, I get it." Hyunjin waves him away.

"And I think you don't," Felix grumbles under his breath.

"Is that all?" Felix blinks, exasperated.

"Yeah," Hyunjin nods.

"You're actually acting civil, that's astonishing," Felix compliments the other.

"Why, thank you," Hyunjin answers dryly, glaring at Felix.

_

Minho enters the top floor with the sole mindset of disturbing the CEO, who happens to be his friend. What he doesn't expect is to see Hazel sobbing into Felix's arms.

And damn, that guy Felix looks incredible.

But he's not Minho's priority right now. He rushes to Hyunjin's office, and pretty sure that man is rubbing his eyes pretty hard.

He's crying. 

Hyunjin snaps his head up when he hears the door open and relaxes when he sees it's Minho. 

"Why are you here?" Hyunjin rasps, his voice shaky as he tries to hide his face with his hands.

"To check on my best friend, duh," Minho says, patting Hyunjin on the back.

For some time, it just remains silent. No noises. Just some sniffing. Nothing else.

"You don't have to be here, just go and find something better to do," Hyunjin says.

Minho sighs. "Hey, I want to be here, okay? I won't ask what happened. Just let me stay with you," Minho consoles.

"She told me I was being unfair to Felix, but what about me? Do I not matter?" Hyunjin asks, staring out the ceiling-to-floor windows without emotion.

"You do matter. You're both going through a hard time. So maybe-"

"Maybe what? She should throw away everything like it never meant anything to her? Me too? Am I just an use-and-throw object? Don't I have feelings too?" Hyunjin yells, his emotions again clogging up his throat, his voice coming out broken.

"And I don't know what to do about the company. My own life is falling apart, I don't know how to hold my shit together, how will I manage the company's? I'm doomed to fail from the very beginning," Hyunjin laughs without humor, his posture slumping down like a very tired, defeated man.

"Hey, believe in yourself. There's no way Chairman Hwang would just choose you to be his successor over others. You know he's always favoured good employees over his family. So when he chose you, it was for a reason. You're capable of great things. You'll make it in no time once you figure out what's pulling you down," Minho encourages.

_

It's seven in the evening. Felix has been working on schedules for the next two weeks till now. He's been trying to fit the lunch with Ms. Gauel, the meeting with the store managers, manage the reports submitted by the marketing team and everything.

And suddenly, the intercom buzzes to life again. "Mr. Lee, I want the reports submitted by the marketing team on my desk right now," the static voice commands.

Felix rolls his eyes. "Fine."

Hazel only offers him a sympathetic smile, and Felix shrugs. He figured this would be his life when he accepted to work here. But oh well, Chan would be paying so dearly. He might lose his balls.

When he reaches Hyunjin's office, the man is deeply focused on something, a paper with so many digits and numbers, and Felix winces.

But Hyunjin looks so damn hot. With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hair framing his face so beautifully, and that look on his face. Shit, he's feeling weak in the legs.

He knocks. Hyunjin doesn't even look up. Felix enters and places the report on the other's desk. Hyunjin doesn't even notice.

And while Felix is leaving, Hyunjin speaks up. "I need a summary of this report tomorrow."

Felix frowns. "But that report is seventy-nine pages long?"

"Yes."

"I can't do it in one night," Felix says.

"Are you saying you are incapable of summarising a measly report? I expected more from you, Mr. Lee," Hyunjin provokes.

"It's not about the damn report, it's about the extremely short amount of time you are giving me to do this," Felix grits his teeth.

"Well, I want it tomorrow, at nine am sharp. There's a meeting with the marketing team tomorrow, right? I need it before the meeting," Hyunjin orders.

"I can't summarise it in one night!"

"I don't know. I need it tomorrow."

"You're being unreasonable, Mr. Hwang," Felix growls.

"Nothing is reasonable when you're working in a society that doesn't care if it's reasonable or unreasonable. I want it done tomorrow," Hyunjin quirks his brows. "Understood?"

"Very well, Mr. Hwang," Felix smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. His fists are clenched. And he just wants to punch his boss' pretty face.

And maybe kiss it too.

And shit, Felix's first day at work goes amazingly!