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Chapter Text

Shinobu held the demons head in her hand, watched him blush and smile at her as he said idiotic things. She waited with a smile on her face, she was going to see her sister soon, she was going to reunite with her family. A family she barely remembered through the rage burning in her veins, it was the only part of her love left.

"Can you come to hell with me?" The demon asked, sweet and hopeful, it made her blood boil.

"Why would I do that? You can rot by yourself, you goddamn asshole!" She laughed, dropping the head to the dark floor of the afterlife. The petite woman flicked the blood off of her hand and waited patiently. Her sister was there, she only had to wait a little longer.

It felt like her eyes where opening again, it was light and a bit cold, she saw Kanao crying. How odd, she didn't think she had ever seen the girl cry, her heart felt a little warmer, she had grown so much. Inosuke was there as well, crying for his mother. Shinobu smiled, wanting to reach out to pat their heads. Comfort them and tell them that everything was alright. Eventually they pulled themselves up, tending to each others wounds through tears that didn't seem to stop, then moving on. After all, Muzan had yet to be defeated!

Time was rather awkward once one died, from how quickly the demon had shriveled up she would have thought herself to be gone by now as well.

"You aren't trying to be humorous are you dear sister? I do believe I have waited long enough to see you again." She giggled into the void, "I do not think I can let go of all this anger until I can see you again, so please, don't keep me waiting too long!"

The darkness did not waver, she started to smell something like rot. She glanced down to make sure that her wounds had gone, perfectly pressed uniform and glowing gold buttons.

"Unless, you're being shy maybe? No that doesn't sound to much like you. Are you upset that I didn't befriend any demons. I'm afraid they are a total lost cause! Well, maybe Nezuko had some potential, and miss Tamayo, they at least attempted to overcome their evil nature. Though at the end of they day they are still demons. I was so upset with Master, when he told me I had to work beside that demon… I tended to make things a bit awkward between us, especially with that little boy always glaring at me! Oh. I must apologize, I do not mean to disagree with your dream, but even after all this time I still cannot see where you get such generosity from!" She laughed softly again, tracing the detail on her haori. Perhaps the amount of poison flowing through her was the cause, a side-effect she had not known of. Still it was awfully nerveracking standing in darkness, on one side her family waited, on the other there was a war raging.

She blinked and saw Muzan. Muzan looking just like the bastard he was, crumpling and dying at the blades of everyone she had stuck around for. It didn't stop her rage, so what if he was dead? he had killed countless, and now they let him off with a simple death, a quick death. She would have taken her time slicing every part of him into little sheets, she would have crushed his eyes as they regenerated. She would have poisoned him with only the most excruciating kinds, it didn't have to kill him yet, only make him wish he were dead.

"Wow! You're so mean Shinobu! I'm so happy that you're the one I love!"

It was that damned demon again.

"Oh! Sorry didn't I kill you? Don't tell me you're crawling out of hell just to see me again? My how pathetic! It's really quite sad, just how pathetic you're being. Why don't you die already? Surely you deserve it?" She laughed.

He laughed as well, rainbow eyes crinkling and fangs glinting, "Don't worry dear, I'm well and dead now! You're amazing! But like I said, I make sure that I am with all of my victims! My lord had promised me that! If you won't go to hell, then I'll just leave a part of me with you."

"My my, you really don't understand do you?" She sighed, "you can't go where I'm going, you're not allowed, you've spent centuries killing and eating people. Why would anyone want you anywhere other than hell?"

"Exactly! So we can stay together instead!" He beamed, grabbing her hands so tight she couldn't move "I'm gifting you eternal life! Shouldn't you be happy, I've never done this for a slayer before! I'm sure that my Lord wouldn't allow it. But he's dead now, so who cares?" He laughed again, and again, and again. She really couldn't wait for him to suffer for eternity. Instead he was talking nonsense. She scowled, blinking as her world shifted again. Finally, she could leave.

"Hey! We need people over here! There's a survivor!"

Several medics rushed into the destroyed room, wading thorough frigid water to the half destroyed form of a slayer, unmistakable with the uniform and sword grasped in their hand.

"It's the Insect Hashira!"

"The crows said she died!"

"Wait whats that on her back?…AH! Look at her! She's a demon!"

"…Do we kill her?"

"Not like we could if we tried. We can take her back to the mansion, if the medicine does work on that demon girl it should work on her. We can't loose a Hashira, there's still too many demons to round up."

"If the cure ends up to be a bust someone else can deal with her."

"Wrap her up, here give me that sword."

"What about the injuries?"

"Look idiot, they're already healing, just make sure she doesn't disintegrate."

Shinobu woke up in a dark room. In pain. Tired. Angry. Lucid dreaming should be added to the never ending list of side effects from poisoning herself for three years straight. She would have to reconvene with lady Tamayo before the fight started. She stood, finding herself unbalanced. Bringing her hand to her head she saw purple veins that glowed dimly. She didn't have much time left it seemed. It didn't matter, her affairs where in order.

Looking around properly she saw that she wasn't in her room, or any of the hospital wards, not even the lab that she had begrudgingly been sharing. She was in a dungeon. Though she would mention it had been furnished quite nicely. She had a soft cushiony bed with sheets, a small table and plush chair, as well as a low desk with a small mirror in the corner, her sword placed on a stand in the middle.

"Hello?" She called our curiously. She wasn't concerned yet, she recognized these halls. Hidden catacombs underneath the Butterfly mansion used to contain demons, for research. "Yoo-hoo~ Is anyone home?"

Her back ached, she felt her limbs crawl, her lips twitched, her eyes burned. She couldn't die yet. Closing her eyes she breathed in deeply, holding it in her lungs before seeing the oxygen be distributed nicely through her blood. Then again, and again, until she settled back into the breathing style that she somehow dropped in her slumber. Her arms seized, shaking painfully until she curled her hands into fists. Side effects, dying dying dead little girl who wanted to kill demons more than protect people. Breath in, and out, shallow but deep, fast but slow, weak.

Shinobu walked forward to the bars cutting her off from the exit, trying to peer out around them, in hopes of seeing someone nearby. No one. Until in the cell in front of her something shifted, and a blob of darkness morphed into a demon. She didn't recognize this one, so Kanao had probably captured it for her, she had requested earlier that day (the day prior?) for her to get one. She was surprised the girl found one so quickly.

"Ugh. What did that little brat do to me?" It muttered, rubbing at its arm which was still stained purple with poison. It looked around, standing before the two made eye contact. "Hey. Did that little bitch bring you in too? Where are we?"

She gracefully ignored that first part. After all what was one to expect from a demon? "You don't have to worry about where you are. Just know that you are going to help serve in the effort to kill your creator! You should be honored, after all don't you want to repent?" She smiled.

"Hah? What are you talking about?" It tilted it's head before grinning with yellow and rotten teeth, "Not very quick on the uptake huh? He must have not given you much blood if you can't tell that he's dead. Didn't ya feel it? Haha— these chains could never compare to that assholes thumb on me."

"My my. I'm afraid I don't have a clue as what you are yammering about."

"Muzan. He's dead. Heh. Pretty nice, now I can do whatever I want. I've been thinking about trying to get to the big cities, he was always a bitch about who could go or not there. Now he can't do shit."

So this demon could say his name? Muzan was dead? How curious. Her memory rolled over her eyes again. Not a dream. Why was she alive then? She had died, she had wanted to die. It was the only way she could win. Stepping back from the bars she gripped her head as it pounded away, hammering her reality into perfect clarity.

So we can stay together instead! I'm gifting you eternal life!

"That bastard!" She growled, the sound not human enough for her, it rarely was. Her eyes tilted to her exposed forearm, the barbs spiting along the outer side, black with veins of purple. Her skin faded from her pale complexion to purple, until her fingers where void, the nail pointed. "No, no, no!" She dived for the mirror, seeing a face that wasn't hers. Her lips split for the fangs of a spider, black and almost metallic, they twitched with her gasping breaths. Her eyes had blown up, until the purple was indistinguishable between sclera and iris and pupil, only interrupted by the delicate lacing of rainbow. "That fucking bastard!!" She yelled, throwing the mirror across her cell.

Her back twitched, she reached around, claws tearing into delicate wings. Wings of an insect, too many to be natural, not on her, never hers, not like this. Demon.

"What? Don't tell me you are one of the ones that liked that guy?" The demon groaned. She drew her sword in a flash, throwing it across the room, it impaled his chest. "What's that for?! I'll rip that pretty face off!" It growled, easily taking the weapon out of it. Until it seized and choked, stumbling back as wisteria flooded it. Shinobu continued to stare at the floor while tearing at the wings, listening as the demon twitched and fell and screamed, before freezing and dying.

She was not a demon. She refused that bastards gift. Her eyes fell on her sword, to far to reach, useless. Instead she grabbed for the bars and pulled at them with all her might, scratching at the locks. They didn't budge. Of course, even as a monster she was weak. The Insect Hashira screamed in frustration, pulling again at the wings, they ripped and tore, but she couldn't remove them. Too strong, too weak. "That piece of shit! I'll go to Avici just to kill him again!"

"Aww. That hurts my feeling Shi-no-bu."

The second moon stood in the shattered glass, grinning at her with his arms crossed, "Do you not like my gift? But I wanted to be with you! You're quite pretty!"

"What did you do to me?!" She yelled, seizing him by his shirt, trying to pull him down. He seemed to find that funny, giggling and squatting down to her level.

"Shinobu~ I think I love you, you're so cute when you're angry! And when you smile~ Ahh, is this what love is? How wonderful!"

"Shut up! Shut up! I'll kill you again! And again, and again. Just however long it takes for you to stay dead."

"Hm? But I'm already dead my dear. This is just an echo of myself! Just for you! Then we can be together forever, who needs anyone else? When you have me?" He wrapped his hands over hers, his claws were a mirror to her own, hers where designed by him—for him. There was no distinction beyond color, her hands were his, his were hers. She could see her reflection in his eyes, face warped in rage, fangs snapping, eyes glowing. She wanted to gouge those eyes out.

She pushed him back, tearing at her face, feeling her claws go under her lids, hook around the optic nerve. She pulled and pulled, cutting the nerve as her eyes popped like a kiss. Vitreous humor leaked out with the blood, mixed with the crushed pieces of her retinas. Blissful darkness, the pain was unbearable, she was screaming, it felt euphoric. She felt him gawking at her.

"What are you doing?? Now now, you don't like your eyes? I can give you new ones!" The demon said, voice dripping in forced worry. He was delusional. Demons do not feel, he had to die. She had to die.

It took only a few minutes for her sight to return, forced to look at the deformed piled of an eye, purple with iridescence, mixed with shining wisteria blood. She breathed in once then out. Carefully stepping back she unbuttoned the hospital shirt she wore, roughly pulling at the sleeves for her spiked arms to escape, she tore one side. The wings thwanged painfully as she spared to mind them.

Underneath she saw the rivers of glowing purple more, she seemed to no longer be human enough to have blood. She had always been thin, unable to gain muscle or fat, unable to grow taller, stunned, a runt, small and delicate. Now she looked more starved than she did before, ribs jutted out sharper, her stomach caved in, she could nearly see her heart beat at her sternum. It was all covered in a jagged scar, from her left collar bone to the right of her hip, twisted snarled, a love confession she could not escape. Glowing and pulsing, her ribs dark when back lit with blood like candlelight. Douma sighed blissfully, putting a hand to his lips.

Her claws tore from the exposed skin at her sides to her core; skin as pale as cloth flushed purple in agitation. Poison spilled out in flowing rivers, staining silk pants and curving through the gaps in the stones. She reached deeper, bitting her lip to stop any unwanted whimpering. Her fingers loosened and teased open her abdomen, slipping into velvety intestines. Blood coated her thighs, cold and sticky. Pulling out the organs she inspected them with a mix of disgust and delusion. They were not human, at a glance perhaps, but she was well acquainted with what lived inside a body. Her eyes burned at the sight, she wanted to destroy them again.

Too thick, too tough, too much. The stench made her throat buck, it smelled like rotted wisteria and bile. Felt like a perfume that she was doused in for an arranged marriage. Sounded like the panicked buzzing of a bug. She disemboweled herself like a wilted flower, intestines were followed by the pancreas and liver, then kidneys, her stomach slipped, still attached to her esophagus. She felt her throat tighten as she pulled, gripping for her lungs, clawing for her heart. Shinobu hiccuped as her lungs where sliced through, blood soaking past the spongy flesh, her gasps turned to gurgling.

"Ha ha ha! You know this reminds me of my followers, they always made the cutest sounds when I ate them." Douma said, standing in front of her, eyes roving over her body, taking the show for something he wanted, not what it was.

With a final tear her heart was out in her hands. Squirting out the last of her blood, oozing past her fingers, dripping onto the floor— she blacked out. She saw explosions like stars fade away as her body fell back. How disappointing to know she would wake up.

Douma watched with a smile, looming over her wretched body, his feet poking at her concave torso. She glowed like the moon, yet to regain her lungs she was a dead as a demon could be. He bent down, trailing her lips gently, smearing blood on them like a lovers hand at makeup. Love was quite the amazing thing he marveled, soaking in the scene. He could not consider himself more lucky to see such beauty.

Chapter Text

Shinobu woke up choking on freezing cold water. Quickly she sat up hunched over as she coughed and hacked. Catching her breath she tried to assess her surroundings. A nicely furnished prison cell soaked in water and her own entrails. Looking over she saw a trembling kakushi with a dripping bucket in their hands.

"Well good day! What an unique way of waking someone up!" She smiled, tracing her mostly healed abdomen, still tacky with half developed skin.

"S-sorry!"

She hummed at them and stood up, frowning at her ruined shirt, her chest bindings the only thing keeping her decent, "Would you get me my sword? And a new shirt as well." She asked, pointing to her weapon beside the dead demon. Sadly the human had run out of the dungeon before she could turn her gaze back to them. She felt her ire tick by with the minutes.

The trap door was opened, controlled steps swept in, and she was confronted by the familiar face of a dead woman. Lady Tamayo stood before her, hair pulled into a tight bun, shadows under her eyes with accompanying bags, and in a still blood stained surgery apron. In those few seconds, with her panting and out of breath, skin pale and clammy, the demon looked more human than allowed.

"I'm glad to see you well Miss Kocho."

"I thought you said you would die?" Shinobu frowned, covering her mouth with a blood stained hand. It reeked like death and vomit, like sex and demons.

"It seems Muzan was weaker than he boasted."

"Well, then at least I have someone who can explain what happened to me. You see, I am quite certain I was dead, And much less in a position or willing to take a demons blood if I wasn't."

Tamayo shook her head mournfully, not stepping closer to the bars, "I do not know the details of your turning. Though you are not a full demon, or at least not one like me."

"Explain." She demanded dropping her smile newly recovered smile.

The doctor sighed deeply, stepping forward, hand resting on the pristinely blood painted bars.

"Though I cannot say the fashion in which you have been turned, I can tell you the modifications I've made." Shinobu's eye twitched, "We could not risk you awakening and wrecking havoc, it would be just as cruel to you as to us. I conducted a blood transfusion with some of Nezuko's blood, in hopes of taming the blind rage demons go into after the transformation. Still with how drastic your body morphed I continued, adding in as much of the cure as I could without harming you. We also fed you pigs blood. Do not worry, you have not consumed a human in any fashion."

"The cure failed." She said plainly, since that was the only thing that mattered. Tamayo winced at that, eyes welling up with even more pity that she was used to.

"It did not. Muzan was weakened and killed, we have turned demons back, though it will kill them if they have consumed too many humans. Nezuko is immune, it is an oversight on my part, it is her own blood after all that acts as the base. And with the transfusion we performed on you so early… I can only offer my deepest apologies."

Apologies. Like turning someone into a demon was as forgivable as bumping into them. Like Shinobu could be dead right now, if they had simply kicked her into the sun. Like Tamayo wasn't the reason she was standing right now, congealed blood under her claws with wings foisted upon her burdened shoulders. Like the best course of action was taken.

"And why only try the cure after you treat me as a demon? Surely you have worked on fixing it in the time I've been indisposed? Why are you still standing here? We have things to do, don't we?" Shinobu asked, smile ticking across her mouth, her secondary fangs clicking her cheery rage.

"It has only been a few days. I am currently trying to keep as many humans alive as we can, many have been lost in the war, slayer and bystander alike."

She nodded, at least the doctor still had her senses as a professional, even if she betrayed her promise of repeating. Shinobu had expected too much of a demon, how delusional of her. It could wait, she herself should get to work as well, "I will join you then, if you could unlock the door now." She smiled, pointing at the lock.

She really did hate Tamayo's eyes, they had more pity in them then the Hashiras' did at her sisters wake. A hazy purple that spoke of plums and berries, rotten and too sweet for her. Like food left on her shrine from Mara himself.

"I will find Himejima, he is the one who says you can go free or not. The other Hashiras are wary of your sanity, though quelled by Nezuko's potential and your own character."

"How charitable, and here I thought you where to say that I was to be executed!" That was the proper course of action. It seems that the actions of Tanjiro had ruined the Corps. She had hoped she was only left alive for the sake of research. Tamayo grimaced as she nodded and turned out.

"I'll send Ubuyashiki's crow."

Heavy footsteps up and a slowly closed door. She watched her sword sit beside a corpse that wouldn't rot.

Shinobu sat at the desk, tapping her claws along the wooden surface. Her hair tickled the back of her neck, a pair of antennae swayed just out of her vision, almost blending in with her bangs. It had been days. Days of nothing. She had sat alone in a dark stone cell with just her mind for company.

She had always been awful company.

Just barely able to crawl along with pleasantries and that invisible bond of grief and rage, mostly rage, only rage. There was a time when it was manageable, with her sister taking part of it. Carrying all those difficult emotions that so easily blinded her. Kanae was able to still see hope, compromise. Shinobu was able to dream of mercy. Now she dreamed of painful deaths and relished in it. She saw demons and thought how their organs would look draped around her neck. She thought that purple blooming over their skin was the perfect accent to the blood.

Maybe if she had ever voiced her anger to anyone other than a fifteen year old boy, who seemed to have more kindness than the world could fit, someone would have told her she was loosing a part of herself. She always saw it as growing. Getting stronger. She could stumble and gasp for breath, but she could move. She could seize and choke on blood that wasn't really blood anymore, but she could destroy. She could be like an arrow into the necks of a demon, useless, but it was merely a seconds warning to their death. Poison took time, it took as much time as it did for a persons life to flash before their eyes, but only just. It made her feel like she was stronger than anyone else in those seconds. Seconds of suffering of finally something that deserved it. Something that made the worst days of her life constantly add up.

The door opened, the thunking of wood and heavy footsteps made the room shake. She stood and was leaning against the bar in a second. Smiling as cheerily as she could at her old mentor. Himejima had seen better days for sure. Bandages covered most of his face, his leg was wrapped in the stiff cast and he walked with a crutch. The rest was covered with his robes, his open chest showing more white coverings.

"Himejima. So nice to finally see you again!" She greeted, clicking happily, until she heard it and brought her hand up to cover her mouth.

"Ah. Poor child, I am sorry it has taken me so long to recover enough to see you." He cried, rattling his prayer beads with one hand.

"No trouble at all! Of course it is a waste for my talents to be cut off during such a time of need. But I only ask to be free until the worst is over. Than I would prefer to be executed, as the cure will not work."

"Poor child." He repeated. He always had a habit of repeating words, the pitying ones that made her blood boil. It had been a long time since she had heard them and was overcome with relief.

Poor child. It was all she had ever been to him, since the moment he had saved her life. She was just another victim in his eyes. She was no longer eight though. Now it grated on her nerves like sharp rocks.

"It feels as if only yesterday, you where but a little girl curled in her sisters arms. What a predicament we find ourselves in today. Such a pure soul in peril. Namu Amida Butsu." Another tear flowed down his cheek. He smelled like cats and gauze, she wanted to puke but was too starved to make the effort. Maybe she should rip her stomach out instead.

::

Her parents where quite well off. Her father was an esteemed doctor, her mother helped run his shop, and Kanae was already helping tie different bundles together. Shinobu preferred to hide under her father's desk and try to scare him. He was always going to and fro, it gave her plenty of opportunities. Even if she didn't succeed often at all, Kanae suggested to try to cover her giggling.

It was getting dark and she was being carried off the the back of the house where they slept, head nuzzled into her mothers kimono that smelled like kikyo flowers and ginger. Her father was pacing on the veranda. Kanae was late. She had gone out a few hours ago to check the traps for dinner, as well as try to find some shungiku. Shinobu was a child, and didn't understand why he was so worried. Her sister was strong, she was able to pick up all the heavy pots and could shoot a bow with perfect marksmanship.

"I'm going to find her." Her father finally said.

"Be safe." Her mother warned, setting her down and walking over to him.

They both froze as they turned out to the dark treeline. She leaned around the door, scooting forward. It was a bit difficult, she had spent the day chasing after her sister as she worked. It was worth it when Kanae finally set down the bundle of sticks and played with her. But now she was sore, and it hurt to move, her body too weak to even get herself from one side of the house to the other. She wasn't sick. Just weak. Weak in a way that couldn't be fixed.

Poking her head around the sliding doors she looked at the grass, the small flowers dotting the dark green, highlighted by the moon. It rustled with the breeze, bringing the scent of earth and summer coated with metal. She saw a shimmering black trail, at the end a hunched over…thing. It might be human, but she thought it looked more like a really big weasel on its hind legs. A really really big weasel that was twitching and foaming at the mouth. And bald. She stuck her tongue out in disgust, flinching away from the doorframe. She was a child, so she had to look to her parents on how she should react.

They had panicked, thick sheets of terror dripping off of their faces. He father pushed her mother back to her and dashed for the closest object. A shamisen that he played in his free time was held trembling like a rusted sword. It was when the monster lunged that she felt the fear wrapping around her along side her mothers arms.

Kanae was supposed to be out there.

It in warm light of their house, the black liquid shone crimson.

Kanae wasn't there.

Shinobu found herself screaming before the monster even reached the doorway. It wrapped its talons around her fathers throat and the blood sprayed across the walls, getting on her mothers pretty blue kimono. The shamisen wavered in the air, before falling to the floor, her father along with it. He hit floor with a thud, something cracked, she thought it might be his head. The monster dug its fangs into his chest, tearing through muscle and bone so easily, so happily, before stopping. It turned its too wide eyes towards her and her mother. She couldn't move. Terror gouged its way into her veins, telling her to run, run, run. Run and not look back, get her little legs to scramble for the open door right there and sprint.

But she was weak, and tired, and her muscles were all spent out. She couldn't even move from her mothers desperate hold, her fingers digging into her back. She was shaking, but that might have been from her mother, since her entire body refused to move an itch. The monster was crawling closer, eyes blinking shut one at a time, its head cocked to one side.

Her mother screamed as she was dragged away from Shinobu, the monsters talons digging into her ankle. Shinobu still didn't move, even as her mother screamed and begged for her to run. They both knew she couldn't. The demon tugged at the woman in jerking motions, each heave filling the room with cracks and wet tears. Her mother screamed and cried and begged and prayed, until finally her leg was shredded off in clumps and ribbons of flesh.

She didn't pass out, Shinobu remembered her father, now a pile of gore just out of her blurry vision, had told her that when someone losses a lot of blood and is in a lot of pain, they go unconscious. Not even her mothers body had the mercy to do that. Instead she screamed and whimpered as her fingers where bit off, slowly. Everything was happening so slowly, she saw each drop of blood flow down the mangled arm, the stain of red grow, the light blinked like a well fed cat. The sound of flesh tearing and bone breaking drowned out by the demons satisfied grunts. Shinobu sat in the corner, blood stains and ginger all that was left of her parents protecting her.

An arrow shot through the doorway followed by the scent of flowers, hitting the demon in the back of its neck. It froze, neck beck backwards before shuddering and falling forward.

Kanae ran in, eyes wide as she tripped over her mothers foot, then seeing Shinobu tucked away. She dived forward, scooping her up in her arms.

"Shinobu!" She sobbed, patting her face, wiping off the cooling blood of her father. "It's okay, everything will be just fine. It's okay, you're okay." She kept repeating the words like a mantra, like they would make her be able to move. She was a statue, she couldn't even hug her sister back as she comforted her. The choking made Kanae freeze, arms tightening around her.

The monster wasn't dead, it yowled in pain, screaming in broken Japanese before glaring at them. It was going to kill them. Kanae had her arms wrapped around her. She had dropped the bow at the door. The quill had arrows, but what where they going to do? Shinobu's body shuttered back to life and her arms clung to her sister, her perfect older sister who had always made everything okay. Kanae who was strong and smart and had never flinched to help her when she fell behind with the other kids. The ones who were tired of placating her and her weak weak body. She couldn't close her eyes as she watched the demon jump towards them, all sharp and bloody and stronger than Kanae was, stronger than Shinobu could dream of.

Death.

She thought she had experienced death at a mere eight summers old. Somewhere between the blood and talons and crushing grip around her that made her ribs creak she saw her life flash before her eyes.

It was over before the flying ball of metal had crushed the demon in half.

She blinked and suddenly she wasn't stepping onto the bridge. She was in her sisters arms on a warm night with a man as tall as the ceiling standing over them crying silently.

"Poor children, do not worry any longer. I have slayen the demon that has ravaged your parents."

:

The gate to her cell squealed open like a dying pig. Like the demon did as its head was caved in. Shinobu stood in her freedom, her savior already walking away, praying for her.

She couldn't help but sigh. Her head was still on her shoulders. How the slayers have failed.

Chapter Text

Shinobu Kocho was the insect pillar of the demon corps. She had ran the Butterfly mansion since she was a child. She was a doctor. She was a teacher. She had people that looked up to her. So she made sure a smile was screwed onto her face even in the dark empty halls of her home. Stepping lightly on well polished floors.

She slipped past open doors and rerouted away from any footsteps. Soon she was standing in her room, alone. Glancing up at the open amado she saw her fish tank, Yugu was swimming peacefully in the enclosure. Kamasu and Tobiko a bit lower, circling around each other. Their scales were a bit dull, she'd have to change the water, as well as get a new tank actually. They were getting rather big.

"Yugu. Yugu." She whispered, waving her hand over the tank, making the three swim up to search for food. She giggled before reaching over and getting some. "Yugu, you're growly very well, I'll have to move you to the pond soon. Ah, but then I won't be able to see you as often…" She sat, smile falling quickly, staring at the three ryukin goldfish they bumped at each other to get the food, Yugu had gotten so round he could barley turn in the narrow tank, "I miss it when you where small."

Another minute of watching before she stood, patting her pants, they were stiff with blood, she still lacked an actual shirt, sighing she walked across the silent room. Changing out of hospital robes into her demon slayer uniform. The back had to be cut with scissors, she tried not to think about it, tried not to think about the coagulated poison under her claws and flaking off her skin. She would go to the hot springs later, for now her stomach continued to growl and twist in on itself. She walked out without the weight of a haori and sword, her back felt like it was being pulled down. Small flutters followed her, a twitch in a muscle she didn't have before. She saw perfectly fine even with the dim moonlight, her eyes seemed to jump to movement without her want. Her arms shook. The halls were suddenly full of the creaking of wood, laughter, and near silent footsteps.

"Kanao! Slow down! Naho is gonna fall off! Turn! Turn! There's a wall there!"

Shinobu froze, eyes zipping to the hallway ahead of her, out shot Aoi, Kanao, and all three of the little butterfly girls. Aoi sat in a wheelchair, gripping onto Sumi and Kiyo while Naho tried to balance on the footrest. Kanao pushed them along, shot pink eye looking forward. She froze, legs tensing to jump back into the darkness, the wings flared out in a frankenstein bouquet of species.

Aoi saw her first, exasperated face turning a few extra degrees to the left to see glowing purple eyes and pulsing wings. She stopped her scolding, grip on the young orphans slacking until they fell the couple feet to the floor.

"Miss Kocho?" She choked, clutching the blanket on her lap like a lifeline, it was a pale grey purple, invisible embroidery of wisteria. She had forgotten where she put that haori.

Then she had four pairs of eyes locked on her, and she didn't run.

"Shinobu!" Kiyo squealed, jumping off the ground and hugging her, her added adopted sisters joining the weight on her neck, making her stoop down. They smiled and hugged and were their usual bright selves. She stood over them, frozen, they were scared. Shifting on their feet, looking helplessly between each other.

"C-come on! We're going to get dinner ready!" Sumi urged, taking her clawed hand and pulling it lightly to the two other girls. Kanao wasn't looking at her, she felt a well of pride at that. Aoi was crying, it was quite interesting, she hadn't seen the girl cry since her last mission. The one where Shinobu had walked out to a decimated small town, and Aoi was alone trying to save corpses. This seemed rather silly in comparison.

She was dragged forward by the trio of children to the kitchen, Aoi fumbled for the light as best she could from her chair, Kanao trying to get her to sit back down. It was now that Shinobu saw the eye patch over Kanao's right eye, how her left shook in place. It was now that she saw the indent of the haori where Aoi's right leg should be. Her hands seized, her grip on Kiyo and Naho a fraction too hard for a fraction too long, she let go before they could flinch. Aoi finally hit the switch, bathing them in flickering lights that she had installed only a few months ago.

"What happened?" She asked, breathless, since she was a doctor, and a human, and should have noticed sooner. Aoi looked away, Kanao seemed to find her for the first time.

"I used the final form of flower breathing. Twice." She said quietly but firmly, fondly.

Shinobu blinked, flashes of her apprentice darting forward from behind an icen sculpture, eyes filled with blood, a spark of pain in her neck. Heard a taunting laugh and felt a brush of cold hands on the wings behind her. She rubbed the pain away, eyes focusing on Aoi instead, who was looking at the space absent of her leg.

"The demon must have thought I was a slayer, I fell into the castle… so did the girls. I already had my sword on me since you told me I should…" all three little orphan girls where completely unharmed. Shinobu sighed, smiling as she stepped forward, racking a clawed hand through both girls hair.

"You did very well. I'm proud of you both."

She feels a bit better in that second. Her smile is even for the first time since she died and all of the rotting flowers in her look pretty again.

The coldness spread to her shoulders, pressing down, breathing on the side of her face, too close. She turned, glaring at the cupboards behind her. Her little sisters noticed, but didn't press. Sumi helped Aoi get to the table as Kiyo set it, Naho getting rice cakes and fresh fruit.

"We are really busy right now so dinner is snacks!" Naho chirped, pulling the wooden stool along the counter to start heating water for tea.

"Well, I'm sure I can help with that." Shinobu said, patting her head as she went to the pantry. She sorted through what they had, settling on dried fish in one hand and dashi in the other. She grabbed a pot, filled it with water from the well just outside and found the tofu tucked away in the ice box, green onions from the garden and gave up looking for the seaweed.

A few minutes later she put down the bowls of miso in front of each girl with some dried fish before sitting down herself. She had to sit on the edge of her chair, as usual, now not only for her feat to touch the ground by also for the wings to not buzz in pain.

"Thank you for the food!" They all chorused, digging in while it was still hot. She ate as slowly as she could mange, her stomach ached and stabbed, the aroma was wonderful.

By the time she had cleared her plate she felt just as starved, like all the food had been sieved out of her, falling just left of her stomach and giving her a terrible pain. She looked up at the others, still eating happily, Kanao noticeable slower. She took a bit more fish, hoping for the hunger to be satiated at least a little. Every blink was slow and heavy, every bite was another delectable lie.

It wasn't until several minutes later of eating that Aoi gasped, dropped her chopsticks, and almost tried to stand up before Kanao could throw an arm over her chest.

"I totally forgot!" She despaired, turning to Shinobu with worry in her eyes, "Miss Tamayo said that you need red meat. I had sent one of the Kakushi to get some since we don't have any on hand."

"Oh he came back yesterday! We put it into the cellar!" Sumi said, already jumping off of her chair and out the door to the garden, Naho and Kiyo following her naturally.

Douma stood there, head tilted with a smile in his rainbow eyes, the kanji tracking the little girls as they skipped to the door.

"Stop!" Shinobu ordered, lurching to her feet. The room froze, Sumi turned with a question and probably fear in her eyes. The sound wasn't controlled, it wasn't cheerful or even. It came out high and chocked, tensing her vocal cords to pain.

"I'll go get it, you finish your meal. Thank you Aoi, for arranging that." She smiled, sidestepping to the sliding doors. The demon outside didn't follow her, only continued to look inside. The cellar wasn't that far, it was dead, it couldn't do anything. She looked over her shoulder every step of the way.

"You really shouldn't worry so much. It's not like I can kill them."

Shivers ran up her spine, making her shoulders hitch and jump. She spun on her heel, facing up at the demon, glaring as deathly as she could.

"Whaatt? Don't tell me you still don't believe me. I'm really truly dead. You did a wonderful job!… though that little butterfly in there was not nearly as fun as you. She's actually really mean, I've never met someone as mean as her, you should teach her to be more nice! It's how you survive in this world!"

"Be quiet." She muttered, turning away into the small wooden shed. She grabbed the meat and hefted it up. It was heavy, at least 30 kilos, it made her muscles strain and shake even more.

"Wooww, you're really weak. What happened? Surely as a demon you should be stronger." Douma mused, leaning over her, not truly stopping her from righting herself, but she was barely able to stand up as it was. She was tired, and hungry, and really she was surprised she'd be able to pick up the large cut. It was pathetic, because she had gotten stronger as a demon, just a little.

Shinobu manged to haul it over her shoulder and started to stumble out slowly.

"Hm? Are you alright? Are you tired? Do you want help? Well sorry, but I can't be much assistance." He chortled, aimlessly walking next to her.

Shinobu kept her eyes forward, feeling every part of her body burn with hatred, wishing to stab him, dreaming to cut his head off. Instead she walked slowly, keeping her steps sure and walking back into the house. The girls looked to her, giggling amount themselves, since they were children and even through all of the hurt, they still had good in them. She kicked the sliding door behind her, it slammed shut, stopping the conversation she wasn't a part of.

The meat was dropped with a thud onto the counter, bits of salt fell off, tumbling off the counter to her feet. She selected the sharpest knife in sight and started to cut off chucks. Unfamiliar with it, sloppy and slow and messy. She could cut roe straighter than this.

"How is the hospital running?" She asked, the wings behind her flared, covering her turned back.

"…It's been just fine. We've lost at least half of our patients but the Kakushi are helping so everyone is at least stable now. Tanjiro and Zenitsu are still in a coma and Inosuke is staying at a Wisteria house since he got stir crazy. All the Hashira are still in their ward, only Himejima can walk around now."

"I see, that's good. When should the last one be recovered?" The knife hit the counter dully, blood oozed from fresh muscle. She slid it aside to be cooked.

"We aren't too sure." Aoi sighed, "Shinazugawa should recovery completely first. And Tokito last, they lost their hand also had a very deep cut on one side. I'd say two months until he can start physical therapy."

Another cut to the meat, she sawed through it with vigor, finally finishing slightly out of breath. It had been too long since she should have responded. Turning to make sure her smile was as level as it could be. Pincers pulled at her cheeks, making it difficult and painful. "That's good to hear."

::

Kanae sat in a field of flowers, humming a song Shinobu couldn't hear. It was spring and Kanae was wearing her pink kimono and butterfly clips. She could hear a spring and the leaves rustling in the wind, she heard her footsteps as she walked closer to her sister. Shinobu was standing in front of her sister, her shadow casted over her face and she stopped humming silence.

Kanae was saying something.

Shinobu couldn't hear. The stream was gurgling too loudly, the wind was whispering in her hair, the leaves rustled.

A hand was offered and she took it, warm fingers squeezed her reassuringly. Kanae's smile was full of worry and comfort. She was pulled into the hug slowly. She briefly wondered when was the last time someone had hugged her, then pushed it away when she remembered who. Instead her burrowed her head into her shoulder, breathed in the scent of flowers and metal, and closed her eyes, letting them flutter shut with the kisses of breeze. Long fingers brushed through her hair, picking off the butterfly clip and scratching at the scalp. Shinobu sat, arms lazily thrown around her sister, eyes blinking with the clouds passing by.

"Kanae." she waited for the hands to stop, "I wanted to die. Why aren't you letting me? Don't you want for us to be with mama again? Don't you want me?" She sighed, grumbling into the thick cloth.

"I'm tired Kanae." Her voice broke, too high and little to be herself, she sounded like a child. She was pulled away, seeing tears brimming in her sisters eyes. Her mouth opened.

Shinobu couldn't hear. There was blood roaring in her head and icy chill covering her ears.

::

Her eyes snapped open. The room was dim, a faint purple glow that was slowly being joined by orange. Terror was clawing up her legs. Sunlight. it was the sunlight. The large windows in her room faced east, she liked it since the rising sun always brought her a certain satisfaction. The promise that a demon was burning alive as she drank tea and stretched in the mornings of pink and orange.

For a second she was frozen, wondering if the sun would splay across her skin and she'd be done with this. Then, she was a demon again, scrabbling out of bed in blind panic and throwing a blanket over the window, pinning it in place with the hidden daggers from her bed. She slammed the amado closed then through open the closet to search for more blankets.

It was only when she was on the opposite side of her bed, on the floor, with a blanket covering her that she blinked, and realized what she was doing. Her body shook the wings fought against the heavy sheet, she panted and saw dots. Shinobu grabbed her arms, feeling barbs dig into her hands as she squeezed tight, poison dripped down, staining her sleepwear, her beating heart hurt her ribs, it felt like the curved bones where digging into her wheezing lungs. Blood and wisteria coated her throat.

She was being ridiculous, this was ridiculous. "control yourself," she hissed in the room. Throwing the blanket away she walked back to her closet, grabbing her uniform and pulling it on. It was too big, the designer of them had held a grudge with her since she burned his first excuse at a "uniform". Nothing that she couldn't fix herself. Shinobu was good at fixing things, uniforms, people, toxins, she could fix herself too.

Walking out of the room she marched down the hall, quickly winding deeper into the mansion where no windows lay, and stomped her way down into the lab.

Chapter Text

Tamayo stood at the end of the supply closet, sorting through vials with labels scrawled with text. Shinobu stood, blocking the door, completely, for once. She frowned, the old demon was unperturbed by her, taking out one sample and reading it before slotting it back in place. Her eyes like rising plums glanced at her once, twice, then she sighed.

"Miss Kocho, I'm glad to see you well. I have a few lists of potential routes fro the cure, though Nezuko has not reacted to any of them yet."

The young girl was behind her, sitting with Yushiro reading something, Shinobu thought it might be a folklore book from overseas. She was stuck in a room full of demons. A pompous giggle echoed across the sterile room. Tamayo turned fully to her, frowning in concern.

"Miss Kocho? Are you quite all right? I can work independently if you need to rest."

Shinobu turned back to the doctor, the wings behind her faltered, folding together, scales and feathers brushing together, the scratching of legs too small and too many to belong. Work. She was here for work, right, it was day so she hadn't anything else to do.

"Where you able to collect any samples from Muzan?" She asked, feeling a sense of vertigo wash over her.

"Muzan was completely eradicated, though before his demise he attempted to infect Kamado Tanjiro so I have collected samples from him. The DNA is still being translated, it should be done in another few days. I wanted to be cautious due to our limited amount as Nezuko has cleansed him since."

"We could go back to the wisteria testing." She said, entering the small closet and grabbing dried herbs.

"I would advise against it, one wrong step and Nezuko and yourself could end up dead."

What a pity. She continued to riffle through old wisteria, it broke and crumpled in her claws, dusting her uniform and the floor, she held her breath to avoid getting it in her nose. Tamayo was standing beside her as soon as she exhaled, frowning as she leaned close. Shinobu didn't flinch back, instead she stared right back into the purple irises, from this distance she could make out slitted pupils just a shade darker.

With how complex Tamayo's blood was, she wondered what would happen f she bit the old demons flesh. Two bloods and bodies fine tuned for opposite purposes combining, like a bite persimmon thrown into a mineshaft. Poison of wisteria and chemicals to kill demons seeped in blood of cloth and flowers, blood that had been torn and boiled and tortured to cease to be demon in the first place. Poison mixed in medicine. She wondered if they would survive such a reaction, she wondered if Tamayo would celebrate in rapturous victory in the explosion as much as she would.

"Shinobu, you're making me jealous." he chuckled, right in her ear, cold hands pressed to her back, long white hair brushing her neck.

She jumped, the wings flared out, harmlessly bending around the shelves. The buzzing bounced off small crowed walls and she reached for a sword that wasn't there. Tamayo flinched back, eyes following Shinobu's over her shoulder. Her arms where shaking again, tremors she couldn't stop, the blood in her trying to reject her breaths, the ones she kept so perfectly even and deep, now reduced to keening gasps.

The door closed with a quiet click, the light was turned off, she still felt the cold piercing through her from plum eyes. She hunched over, squeezing her biceps until her claws pierced then, the barbs on her arms stabbed right back, pinning her hands morbidly in place. It stank, the blood, the thing adjacent to blood, she didn't know, animals had blood, demons weren't quite that much.

"Shinobu. control your breathing, in and out."

The words were garbled, accompanied by flowers, like Kanae.

She stopped breathing, all confusion and emotion stopping for that comforting rage. She turned her glare to the glowing eyes, the floating bouquets of perfume in between the two. Spit on her face, knife it her back, and yet it felt like a mercy, the air turned hot.

"Stop that, now." She said, straightening up, wrenching her hands away. The flowers where killed by the poison, the stench clung to both of them. Demons, wakes, and whatever Douma had sticking to his fingers, the entertainment district smelled pure compared to this closet. Sticky and cold and disgusting. She wondered how many layers of blood was stuck under her nails now. She longed for a bath, something hot and scolding and made her head dizzy.

"I apologize, but a panicking demon is hardly safe. Especially one startled by things the eye can't see."

"It was nothing. I'm adapting to this body, it's only normal for there to be complications." She felt her smile coming back, she hoped that the doctor could see in the dark, otherwise it was a waste of effort.

"… very well, I have seen demons react strongly to new bodies, especially the more dramatically changed. Have you eaten yet?"

"Last night. I should be fine for a few more days, no?"

"Perhaps. Monitor your eating habits, its better to eat more than less in your case."

"I'm sure it is! You are very knowledgeable in this so I'd be silly to disagree!" She beamed, leaning back to open the doors, her hands and arms healed. She felt the prink of shame from behind her, silly it seems that with the death of Muzan Tamayo's rage was sizzling out. She could be human know, if she really wanted to, and yet she wasn't. They both knew she didn't deserve it.

They worked in silence after that, the suffocating kind that makes Shinobu want to start to rip out her eyes again. Forced to work with a demon, a monster that had mauled killed and eaten people, something that had to cultivate empathy, mimic emotions. And yet.

"Increase the amount of anti coagulate, the amount of collagen from the blood would cause issues here." she said, pointing to the untouched equation in front of her. "It would a be shame for you to be cured only to die."

Die as a human. what a luxury. She thought she could have that. Tamayo could have that. It made her mad, furious, blind. every single similarity between her and this demon, and every single thing that mad her better. She didn't earn the humanity that Tamayo had makeshifted, hers was gone the second blood was thrust into her dead veins.

She hated it. They stood beside each other, perfect fractured shatter mirror. And yet she was the one that could not be called human.

Chapter Text

Shinobu was not strong. But she had always considered herself resilient. Unable and unwilling to die, tearing herself from the side of death to zero in on her single purpose. She had been spit in the face by the gods, but she didn't stop cursing them. She would live in spite of what had happened, to spite what happened. Kanae would abolish her, of course she would, Shinobu was too young and too angry to see reason apparently. Kanae would tell her:

"Isn't it easier? To live for all the good in the world? There's so much more than the bad things."

Like living was supposed to be easy

No. The good things didn't last. Her family died. Kanae died. Her tsuguko died. But she didn't. And her hatred didn't. And demons didn't. So she held onto her life by her spite and decided that she'll drag it to Avici before letting go. Then she dropped the demons head into a pit and didn't have those shackles on her any more. (Only for a second, then they locked back onto her limbs, an echo she couldn't break).

She found herself looking for something to hold onto, something to test and hone and perfect. Shinobu was a scientist at heart, and demons were her specialty. She found herself pulling her own leash more. Demons were disgusting things. Twitching away from the sun, drooling at the sight of blood, thinking of nothing but sinking their claws into flesh. She spent the week purging herself of those instincts. She didn't eat food, she would prefer to think herself dead than as a monster. She didn't sleep, didn't avoid windows, only sunbeams (because her nether-brain couldn't shake those instincts, no matter how much she screamed and cursed herself to move, she stayed frozen, cold and shivering). She went to work at night, worked on comatose patients, wrapped herself in paperwork and sorting medications. Spent every waking hour in the lab, working with demons, to kill demons, to save demons. Whatever the others wanted, she found herself too busy to care. It wasn't like she had a use for the cure anyway. A demon must die; a human turned demon has no redemption.

The week closed and she stood at the foot of her bed, staring at sheets that could be her skin, soft and smooth and inviting. She wanted to sink into them and sleep.

tear them apart and never close her eyes again

Aoi hadn't stopped sending concerned glances her way, the girls had shyly asked if she had been sleeping well. She said yes and smiled, then moved on. However, despite what her family seemed to believe, she was not bull headed. She knew she needed sleep. She knew she needed food. She was simply experimenting, but sadly, demons didn't starve, and demons didn't pass out, they only had pain curl tighter and tighter inside of them. Pain that she couldn't tear out (she tried) and pain she couldn't ignore. Pain amplified by cold pricks and the boiling rage beside it. It felt like volcanoes under an ocean, like something that the Earth tucked away, just for Herself.

Humans needed sleep too.

So she sat down on the bed and leaned back, shutting her eyes and falling before she could even think of changing her mind. Conscious swirled away, draining down, down, down. Until she fell into wooden floorboards surrounded by lotus and still water. Her feet shifted on the polished walkway, looked down to a too big haori with invisible bloodstains and the forgotten smell of flowers.

The slayer did not need to wait as she turned on her heel, sprinting down the paths, finding her destiny, purpose, fate, behind the same door as before. It was standing in a lake of blood, limbs scattered around like the lotus flowers outside. Drenched in blood, white hair turned red, smile and eyes stark against the veil. It licked its lips, sighing blissfully. More red dripped from its cheeks, smearing on its teeth like old congealed lipstick.

"Shinobu! Hi~ it's so nice to see you again!"

She didn't waste time, drawing her sword and launching herself forward, stabbing it in the throat before it could react. Jumping back she sheathed her sword, more poison, stronger poison, more speed.

Arrow

Arrow

Arrow.

Be the arrow that Kanae shot, the warning of poison and Himejima and death and suffering. It's blood was glowing, a river of rainbow and gold, it wiped its injury and rubbing the substance between its fingers.

"Ah~ How beautiful. Is this how you see me Shinobu? I'm flattered!" It laughed, gloating and smug and everything she wanted to kill. Their eyes met, and the demon had the gall to smile, pity and chastising and superior.

Shinobu was not a violent person. She was not. She was not violent, she did not enjoy suffering, she did not smile at the sight of blood or drool at the smell of entrails. This Demon did, it could not contain itself, picking and choosing its victims like a menu at a restaurant, cutting into them like an emperor, a false prophet. Demon was not an evil enough name for it. If she guts it, maybe she'll find a better word to describe it. Its blood boiled in her, she needed to eradicate it, all of it, poison and rot.

She charged again, this time the demon parried with fans of gold, laughing merrily as she flew back, falling into the blood, staining her haroi anew, the thick liquid weighed her uniform down, drenched her hands and sunk in between her toes. Ice seeped into her throat, cutting the flesh and sinking somewhere deep in the bottom of her lungs, bleeding out through her heart.

"Oh? I thought you wouldn't have fallen for that this time." Douma hummed, breaking out into small giggles, "It's nice to see you are so predictable! I feel like I'm starting to get to know you better!"

Bullshit. It didn't know the first thing about her. It couldn't even feel. Couldn't think. Just greed and hunger. She stood, jumped onto the platforms, raised her sword, and charged.

Every wound she made healed, every cut it made shivered. Blows where exchanged, she barley was able to keep ahead. One fan was stabbed, wrenched from its grasp and fell into the lake below, its hand shrived and black with rot. A new combination of poisons, a new dosage, higher and higher, every time it would heal faster and faster.

"You know, I should probably thank you. That's what humans do, right?"

"…What?" She paused, already a few meters again. She panted heavily, lungs cracking and groaning with every breath. Her body was ice cold, fingers numb and and stiff around the hilt of her weapon.

"You saved me." It smiled, eyes closed, hands to where a heart would never be, "I have spent my entire existence helping humans, bringing them to a higher plane of existence within me. And now. You've done that for me. It's because of you I know what love is! It's really fun!" It laughed, throwing its hands out, spinning around without a care in the world, kicking up blood and stray intestines that stuck to its shoes.

"I've never felt so fulfilled! It's like my whole life is coming together! All because of you! Didn't I help you too?" It asked, tilting its head, sticky red hair falling in clumps, "It's only with me that you are yourself! I'm truly honored! I'd never believed in the red string before, but maybe, with you, it could make sense!"

She could feel the veins in her face pulse. What was this demon on about? It was didn't understand anything. Every second she was chained to it just made her even more furious that it had gotten so strong, lived so long. Her throat closed up, cutting off the words that it didn't deserve to hear, the venom and justice that would fall on blood clogged ears. She jumped forward, sword connecting at every joint it had, aimed for the vessels.

A fan cut through her chest, blade severing her bones like the stems of a flower (A perfect bouquet it gifted to her to match the wings that weren't on her back), shattered her frozen lungs. Blood poured through, a veil of red tinted purple, blood that stank and bubbled. Her legs gave out and she fell onto knees, cowling over, her head resting on the ground as her arms tried to hold her organs inside. Slippery and squishy, she felt them wiggle out of her, desperate to leave her. Run from poison to be with human blood instead of whatever she was.

It was all happening again. Of course it was, she was too immature to stop and think, strategize past the end of her blade. And it hurt. It hurt like she was eight and had fell on her face, scrapping her hands and knees. Like she was eighteen and had been disemboweled, lungs and heart frosted over. Anger and rage and spite made her lip quiver. It was the anger that made her eyes glassy with tears. She was angry. She couldn't do it, she just couldn't, she just wanted-

"Shinobu"

Kanae stood in front of her, brow frowned and frowning like she never should. "Never do things in halves. You said you would slay this demon. Do it."

She can't! She can't. she can't. she can't. She was whining like a child. Shinobu wouldn't cry, she couldn't. But Kanae was standing right there looking so upset and she just wanted for her to be happy. Her sister wasn't acting like herself, maybe she'd forgotten her sister, in the rage. (it was rage, it had to be, she was angry and wanted to ter the world apart. Anger anger anger.)

"Shinobu." Her sister whispered, hands curling around her shoulders, tears dripping onto her bloodstained body, "Don't give up now. I believe in you." A little girl bit her lip to stop a sob, and nodded into a ghosts shoulder. It was warm and nice, smelled like flowers and metal. She wanted to stay there forever, scrapped knees and all.

Be angry, you are angry, you don't know how to be anything else.

She stood.

Fell.

Then shoved herself up again.

Blood drooled out of her chest, her shattered lungs twitching, trying to breath. It was behind her, coming closer, the sharp sound of metal and squelching of soggy footsteps. Absolute chaos, that was what she needed, a perfect reflection of everything she is furious at. Just an opening to destroy it.

She leapt, feet digging into the floors, cracking from more power than her body could handle. Breath deeper. Didn't need blood vessels they could burst for all she cared. She needed them to burst.

Faster

She jumped off of the walls, letting the blood rush to her muscles, tearing apart every ligament there was just to squeeze out another jump. Everything was a blur, everything was too far away she could barley notice. It stood in the center of it all, flashes of white and red, she tracked it more from the stench of blood than sight.

Faster Damn it

Blood burned through her body, squirting from the mess in her chest, flooding to her eyes, out of her ears and nose, coating her teeth. Put on makeup for a forced marriage, look in the mirror, lipstick across the face to cover the tears. Look in the mirror. Not her face, monster, dead eyed demon, her face stitched on inside out.

Her guts poured out. Good, lighter meant faster. Make the shiromuku look nice when she was bones and skin, white lighter than her skin. Blood stopping the lie she told.

It was so infuriating

She was weak. So weak she couldn't cut a demons head off when children could. She couldn't get stronger, her muscles refused to grow, her body refused to cooperate. She couldn't even do this. This one simple promise she made to her sister. Vengeance. That one simple purpose her life was defined by. AND IT WAS SO SIMPLE! Any other pillar could do it. Two children did it. Kanae could have done it. But Shinobu, the insect pillar, could not.

Too weak.

Too impulsive.

Too stupid.

Too slow.

Too bloodthirsty.

A fifteen year old boy, with more kindness than the world could fit, had killed Muzan. With more rage than the world could handle. And she was just bitter. Jealous of people that looked up to her. Hating people that looked down on her. She should have thought of her family more when fighting, protecting the ones still alive, their happiness. Instead, as she sunk her blade into Douma's neck, she only thought of how much she wanted to tear out its throat with her teeth. Make it feel all the pain it caused, amplify it. Bring Hell to it.

The poison branched out, glowing under its skin. Wisteria blooming in summer. The demon fell to the ground, hitting the wood, bones crunching and snapping. A sculpture of gore and flowers. Center piece to a wedding where she massacred all the guests. She fell after it, neck snapping as she hit the lake of her own failures. She sunk into it, world blacking out. Dying, again, hopefully. A dream didn't matter, her victory was blowing on her wounds. It still won, she still failed. Maybe she was just drowning in a dried out ocean of spite. Because that was more natural to her than the grief seeping into her skin like blood.

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Shinobu Kocho woke up, sweat drenched and panting. The wings were on her back again.