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Chapter Text

Alexander Gideon Lightwood had not been healthy for ten years.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had run from mission to mission all day, or the days when he could completely erase his exhaustion with a stamina rune. Since his thirteenth birthday, Alec had been neither happy, nor healthy, nor able to sleep properly. All of that was far behind him now. Very far.

Now, he was the head of the Institute, running it thanks to his siblings. He wished he could join them on every mission, but that was no longer possible. Because of the curse called yin fen, his strength was limited. Of course, by taking the necessary medicine, he could still go on missions, but it didn’t change the fact that it was risky.

The event that caused this illness had also taken his mother and his little brother, Max. Since then, his father hadn’t looked him in the eye, blaming Alec for what had happened. And truthfully, he wasn’t entirely wrong — Alec had already received his runes, yet he had been unable to do anything to save his younger brother and his mother. What a useless Shadowhunter he was.

Alec sighed again as he looked down at the files in front of him. He might be sick, but he would run the Institute in the best way possible. His siblings were at his side, and that was what mattered most, wasn’t it? At least he wasn’t completely alone.

“We can fight without Shadowhunters,”
a werewolf had said furiously.

“As long as we stand united, it doesn’t matter what we are,”
a vampire had declared.

“We have numbers. We can stand against Valentine,”
said one of the warlocks.

Magnus, however, only rolled his eyes. He understood what they meant, but he had to point out how naïve they sounded.

“Six years ago, Valentine reappeared and a great war broke out. Shadowhunters and Downworlders fought together. It was one of those young Shadowhunters who struck one of Valentine’s two hearts that kept him alive, forcing him to disappear for a long while. Now he’s gathering strength again, and most likely has more followers than ever before. Yes, we are many — but that doesn’t mean it’s time to splinter into factions. Valentine is the enemy of the entire Shadow World. The more allies we have, the fewer lives we lose. Most of you have families. Don’t you want to return to them?”

By the end of his speech, Magnus had raised his voice, and although silence followed, he knew he had reached them. Of course everyone wanted to return home to their families, to their children. That was their right.

“But will the Shadowhunters even listen to us?”
one of the younger warlocks asked.

Magnus shook his head slowly. Catarina, standing beside him, touched his arm, clearly sharing his thoughts.

“Don’t worry. I have reliable sources and connections.”

After the exhausting meeting, Magnus entered the club, checking the message that had just arrived on his phone. The people he had been waiting for would be here soon. After sending a quick reply with the location, he joined his friends in the private section of the club. It was quieter there, more suitable for serious talk.

“Do you think it will work?”
Catarina asked softly.

Magnus only shrugged, conjuring himself a drink with a flick of magic.

“Most Shadowhunters are fools, but there are a few exceptions. Jace and Isabelle are proof of that. We’ve known them for months, and they’ve shown they aren’t like the rest.”

Of course, at first, he hadn’t trusted them. But since the two Nephilim had started hanging around the club, conversation had flowed, and over time, trust had followed.

Before Catarina could answer, the door opened, and the two Shadowhunters entered. They greeted them and sat down. Isabelle, smiling, looked directly at Magnus.

“I’m guessing there’s a problem, Magnus? Calling us here so urgently?”

Magnus liked people who went straight to the point. So he wasted no time and laid out what had happened today, along with the concerns that had been circling in his mind for some time. The two siblings listened in silence the entire time.

“I understand what you mean, and you’re right,” Isabelle finally said. “But this calls for a gathering that includes all races. And neither Jace nor I are any good at diplomacy.”

Magnus didn’t comment on the hopelessness in her voice. Nephilim were warriors; that was how they had been raised.

“Alec could help.”

The suggestion came from Jace, who had been silent until now. Magnus frowned. Who was Alec?

“Jace, that’s not certain. You know Alec’s condition,” Isabelle objected anxiously.

Magnus and Catarina stayed silent, deciding to simply listen.

“I know better than anyone. But even as a child, Alec was skilled at making plans and handling diplomacy. And this situation is eating away at him too — I can feel it through our bond. Whether he’s in his office or his bedroom, he’s always under pressure.”

When Jace finished speaking, Isabelle only nodded, saying nothing more. Noticing Magnus’s curious look, she smiled faintly.

“Alec is our brother. He’s the head of the Institute, and he’s not happy with how strained our relations with the Downworlders are. He’s been thinking for a long time about how to mend it. If anyone can help us, it’s Alec.”

Magnus knew the three of them were siblings, but this was the first time he had heard the eldest’s name. Alec… most likely short for Alexander.

For some reason, he found himself eager to meet him.

Chapter Text

Some days he felt so exhausted, so weak. Getting out of bed felt nearly impossible… Alec just wanted to lie there and do nothing. But he had responsibilities, so even though every limb felt heavy, he forced himself up and took his medicine.
A few nights ago, when Jace and Isabelle had come over, they’d told him some things… Alec knew they were friends with Downworlders, but he had never thought they would want to arrange a meeting. Of course, he had accepted. He had been making plans to reconcile both sides for a long time. He couldn’t let this opportunity slip.

Thinking of all this, he changed his clothes, slipped his stele into his pocket, and looked at himself in the mirror. His skin was pale, so pale it could rival a vampire’s. The pain that was always in his body was still there, and unfortunately, he had grown used to feeling it.

With a sigh, he tore his gaze from the mirror, opened his door without hesitation, and stepped outside. Many Nephilim might not accept him as head of the Institute, but they couldn’t criticize his way of leading either. Because he was good at it, and Alec tried his best to follow the rules.

“Good morning, big brother.”

When he looked at his sister approaching, a faint smile crossed his lips. He honestly didn’t know how he would endure without his siblings.

“Good morning, Izzy.”

If Isabelle and Jace hadn’t believed in him, Alec wouldn’t have endured. They could have blamed him for everything, but they hadn’t. They had been just kids themselves and in the face of pain, instead of condemning him, they had only offered support.

“They’re coming today for the meeting, you know. You’re alright, aren’t you?”

He absentmindedly nodded, running a hand through his hair. He felt okay—at least enough to stand on his feet and deal with reports. If he drew one stamina rune, he could get through the whole day.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. When the guests arrive, you and Jace take them to the meeting room and then let me know, alright?”

There were still four hours left until the meeting. In that time, he would finish the reports to be sent to the Council and review some data he needed to work on.

“Alright, see you in a few hours.”

When Izzy left and he himself stepped into his office, closing the door behind him, Alec took a deep breath. If everything went well today, they would be taking a big step. He had to succeed. Whatever his father said, Alec could do this.

--

He was so absorbed in his work that Alec didn’t realize how quickly time had passed. When the door suddenly knocked, he jumped and lifted his head. It was Jace. Seeing the papers Alec was buried in, Jace gave him a knowing look, and Alec rolled his eyes.

“Everyone’s here, come on.”

Alec nodded, rubbing his eyes as he stood up. He hadn’t eaten all day; maybe after the meeting, he’d finally have something.

“Alright. Who came?”

As they walked side by side down the corridor, Alec’s nerves tightened. Through their parabatai bond, he knew Jace could feel it too.

“Magnus, Raphael, Luke, Meliorn, Catarina, and Simon.”

That was enough people for a meeting. Alec nodded to himself, trying to rehearse in his mind how he would speak.

“You’re going to do great, Alec. I know it.”

When Jace touched his arm to show his support, Alec smiled faintly. Soon, they had reached the meeting room. When Jace opened the door, Alec stepped inside, drawing every eye toward him.

“Welcome, all of you. I’m Alec Lightwood, head of the Institute.”

He made sure his voice carried respect as he took one of the empty seats. He already respected all of them, and he wanted them to feel that.

“Pleased to meet you, Alexsander, and thank you for accepting our proposal for this meeting.”

The moment he heard his full name, a strange thrill ran through him. His gaze turned toward the voice—Magnus Bane, looking at him directly with a charming smile. Truthfully, Alec had never encountered someone so magnetic before.

“The thanks should be mine. For a long time, I’ve been thinking of ways to resolve our tensions with the Downworld, but as you can imagine, things are very strained. I need long-term planning to make the right move. Even if the Council doesn’t look kindly on this, they’ll have no choice but to accept.”

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He disliked the Council’s attitude, but there was nothing more to be done about it.

“Father’s going to lose his mind.”

Hearing Izzy’s amused voice beside Meliorn, Alec only shrugged. He didn’t want to think about his father now. Thankfully, he was in Idris at the moment.

“Well then, shall we begin?”

And so, everyone began speaking in turn. The Valentine issue was their top priority. Destroying the man who was an enemy to both sides was everyone’s common goal. Alec had once dealt him a heavy blow in the past, but he didn’t see any reason to bring that up now. He only kept talking, sharing his thoughts, and the discussion went on for nearly two hours.

“Are you sure this is going to work?”

As the meeting drew to a close, the decision was clear. They would create mixed teams of Nephilim and Downworlders—those at least willing to tolerate one another—and hunt for Valentine. Over time, this would not only get people used to each other but also allow them to cover more ground.

“I’ll do everything I can to make it work. I know it won’t be easy, and I’m aware problems will arise, but in every respect, we share the same enemy. Anyone who wants to survive will make the smart choice. Just as there are Nephilim who don’t trust you, there are Downworlders who don’t trust us. Considering the Lightwoods’ history, it’s quite normal.”

Alec paused briefly to catch his breath, then took another sip of his now-cold coffee. His head throbbed, his muscles were taut, and soon his hands would start trembling. But he could endure.

“Since I became head of the Institute, I’ve wanted to ease the strain between us at least a little. As I said, it won’t be easy—it’s clear this will be a long-term matter—but in the end, if Valentine falls, every hardship will be worth it.”

When he finished speaking, the room fell silent. For a moment, Alec wondered if he had said something wrong, but seeing his siblings smiling reassured him.

“You have more courage and determination than many Shadowhunters and Lightwoods I’ve known, Alec. I accept.”

Meliorn’s words were a sign that Alec had taken at least a small step toward victory. Izzy, of course, beamed at hearing them.

“I agree. I used to be a Shadowhunter—I know what Valentine is capable of. My pack and I will stand with you.”

Then Raphael cleared his throat. His boyfriend Simon was whispering something in his ear, and clearly the older vampire approved.

“We’re in too. The children of the night aren’t going to shy away from the dark. Besides, it would be ridiculous for us to hang back while those dogs take the stage.”

It must have been a regular kind of jab, because even though Alec didn’t quite understand, the others chuckled lightly. Finally, Alec looked toward the two warlocks, who seemed to be speaking to each other without words. He especially wanted the High Warlock’s support.

“Your words moved me deeply, Alexsander. I knew your father and mother. Maryse was a truly strong and determined woman. Harsh, but she knew exactly what needed to be done. You’re very much like her.”

Alec had to swallow hard to keep from reacting. Of course, Magnus was ancient, and their paths must have crossed countless times with his mother. Did he really think Alec was like her?

“To build an alliance between our sides, I’ll work with you. I’m looking forward to it, Alexsander.”

Hearing his full name again, along with Magnus’s playful wink, stirred something in Alec’s chest. Smiling faintly, he rose from his seat as the others began to stand as well. It had gone well—better than he’d expected.

“Then we’ll talk again soon. I’ll text you, darling—we’ll go over the details.”

Alec opened his mouth to say he didn’t even have Magnus’s number, but a sudden wave of dizziness struck. He grabbed the table for support, knocking over his glass, which shattered on the floor. Suddenly, all eyes were on him.

“Alec!”

He could hear Jace and Izzy’s voices, though they sounded muffled in his ears. Every limb burned, standing and moving felt like torture. He must have taken too little of his medicine that morning, distracted as he was.

“Izzy, I’ll take Alec to his room. You see Magnus and the others out.”

Even through the comforting bond of his parabatai, Alec said nothing. He didn’t have the strength to speak. As Jace guided him out, Alec lifted his head for just a moment and saw Magnus watching him with a mix of worry and curiosity.

A day that had started so well had ended in disaster.

Chapter Text

When Alec opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was that he was in his own room. The second was that his head and every joint in his body ached. As he tried to make sense of what had happened, the memory of the meeting slowly seeped back into his mind, and with a loud curse, he covered his face with his hands.
At the very moment he had entered into a new and very important alliance, he shouldn’t have appeared so weak. He needed to stand strong and confident, to show the Downworlders that he would keep his word. Right now, he must have seemed weak and pitiful in their eyes. What else could they possibly think of him?

With a sigh, he reached for his phone, checked the time—it was four in the morning—and noticed a few messages. Curious, he tapped on them and immediately sat up in bed. How long had Magnus’s number been saved in his phone? And under the name “Magnificent Magnus ✨” no less? Alec didn’t understand anything, but reminded himself that the man was a warlock—nothing should surprise him—and began to read the messages.

He was asking if Alec was alright. Even though they had only just met, the fact that Magnus cared enough to check on him brought a smile to Alec’s face. He replied that he was fine, just tired. He didn’t want anyone to learn about his Yin Fen addiction. He was deeply ashamed of it, even to himself.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep again, he got out of bed and dressed. He made a mental note to thank Jace later, and after making sure he had taken the proper dosage of his medicine, he left his room. The Institute was always busy, so he wasn’t surprised to see hunters moving around as he made his way to the office.

--

The day was actually passing rather ordinarily. While compiling lists of Shadowhunters for small joint teams with Downworlders, Alec caught himself impatient to text Magnus again. Of course, he would never admit it out loud, but that was the truth.

Just as he wrote the last name and placed the paper into the file, his door burst open and Izzy rushed in.

“Alec, Circle members have been spotted at Pandemonium. There are a lot of Downworlders there.”

Pandemonium. Alec knew it was Magnus’s club. And as his sister said, many Downworlders went there to have fun. That made this a huge problem right now. Quickly rising to his feet, he grabbed the jacket hanging over his chair and took a deep breath. Did misfortune really have to come one after another?

“Where’s Jace?”

As they left the office together, they hurried toward the weapons. Alec didn’t go out on every mission; for smaller ones, he insisted his siblings stay at the Institute. But for important missions like this, Alec never held back. Especially now—after forging an alliance—he would never abandon the Downworlders.

“He’s getting ready. Are you alright, Alec?”

Alec nodded firmly. This time, he truly was fine. He had taken his medicine properly and spent the whole day in the office. His energy was steady. It had to be steady.

“Yes. Let’s hurry. We can’t let the Circle hurt the Downworlders.”

--

Magnus sat back in his comfortable chair, sipping his drink while half-listening to his friends’ conversation. His attention, however, was elsewhere. At four in the morning, Alexsander had texted him, and it hadn’t been long since he’d seen the message. He had wanted to reply, but some unwanted Shadowhunters had entered his club, forcing him to put it off. The Circle members had shown quite the nerve by stepping into Pandemonium.

“Looks like something caught your attention.”

Raphael, fully aware of the situation, spoke up. Magnus downed his drink in one gulp and nodded. Now everyone had fallen silent, though they were discreetly scanning their surroundings.

“I saw three Circle members, but there could be more.”

When Ragnor grumbled, Magnus rubbed his hands together. There were clearly a few more, but if they acted too suddenly, someone in the club might get hurt, and that was the last thing he wanted.

“For now, we do nothing. All eyes are on us.”

None of them were pleased, but it was the smartest move. At least for now. As the minutes dragged on, Magnus began to grow restless—until the doors opened and three Shadowhunters walked in. Jace, Izzy, and Alexsander. Magnus had to force himself not to stare. Was that a bow and quiver on his back? That was not a common weapon for a Shadowhunter.

“I think my savior angel just arrived.”

Magnus murmured admiringly, feeling Catarina nudge him from the side. Yes, now it was time to act. They could sort this out later, couldn’t they? He made a mental note to offer Alexsander a drink afterward as he rose to his feet. It was time to clear his club of pests.

--

Alright, how had so many Circle members gotten inside? Magnus didn’t know, but this wasn’t the time to worry. There were ten in total. While the Shadowhunters fought on one side, they fought on the other. Only two remained now. Once they were dealt with, it would be over. At least everyone in the club had been ushered away from the floor—better that they weren’t underfoot.

“Magnus, watch out!”

At Luke’s voice, he spun around just in time to see a seraph blade descending toward him. For a split second, Magnus thought it was the end. But nothing happened. An arrow whizzed past, striking the Circle member straight in the chest. Turning his head, Magnus saw where it had come from—Alexsander had saved his life. And he looked devastatingly attractive while doing it…

“Alec Lightwood!”

The unfamiliar voice shouting caught everyone’s attention, and even the music stopped. From the far side of the club, near an open portal, a wounded Circle member stood, ready to flee.

“Valentine is very displeased with you. If we see you, he wants us to offer you a place among us.”

Magnus frowned. Why did they specifically want Alexsander? Because his parents had once been Circle members? Or simply because he was a Lightwood?

“I have no intention of joining you. Valentine already knows that.”

As Alexsander stepped forward, Magnus focused on him. He looked confident and strong. A true warrior, a leader.

“Then you’ll be among those who die. Prepare yourself.”

The Circle member was furious. But really—what grudge could they hold against Alexsander? He was no older than twenty-three. What could he have done to Valentine?

“If he wants to take another arrow to the heart like the last time, I’ll be waiting. Don’t forget to tell him I said that. It’s not a warning or a threat—just the truth of what will happen.”

Wait a minute. Seven years ago, Valentine had been struck in the heart with an arrow during the war, severely wounded, and then disappeared. While Magnus, like everyone else, turned to Alec in shock, the Circle member began stepping through the portal.

Magnus had always known Alexsander was attractive—but this, this was beyond anything he expected.

Chapter Text

Until the age of thirteen, Alec thought his life was good. He had already received most of his runes, his training was going well, and he had three siblings he loved dearly. He didn’t want anything more. These were enough, and Alec knew how to be content with what he had.

Then something happened. His mother had to attend a meeting out of town, and since Max was still very young, she had to take him along. Alec decided to go with her to help out. So, three Lightwoods set off on a journey out of the city. At first, everything was fine. They would only be away from home for a week, and four days had already passed quickly. While his mother handled her business, Alec took care of his baby brother. Max was a sweet and calm baby, and Alec loved looking after him.

He would help him play with his toys, feed him, and tell him stories. Every time, his mother would say how proud she was of him, and that made Alec incredibly happy.

Everything was ruined the day before they were supposed to return home. They were packing up the few belongings they had brought with them. It was dark and rainy. As Alec went upstairs to check on the sleeping Max, he heard a sharp scream followed by crying. In that instant, both Alec and Maryse rushed upstairs and into the room.

What Alec saw then was an image he would never forget. A demon had somehow gotten into the house and attacked little Max. And right as they entered, the demon twisted his baby brother’s head a full 180 degrees. The sound of his neck breaking was so clear that Alec felt it in his bones. His mother’s anguished scream as she drew her blade, and the tiny lifeless body of his brother hitting the floor—all happened at once.

It had all been so fast. Alec didn’t even know when he was captured and tied to a chair, with his mother bound beside him. He couldn’t look away from Max. His baby brother’s body was bloodied, eyes wide open, filled with tears. He didn’t deserve this.

Things got worse. The demon tortured his mother, tearing off her arm and leg, and Alec was forced to watch. The demon enjoyed both physical and psychological torment. It harmed Alec too, but what it gave him most was its poison. The venom was so strong that Alec’s mind was shattered, his body convulsing.

Maryse Lightwood died ten hours after being captured. Alec Lightwood was found thirty-two hours later, having been exposed to the poison all that time.

He never remembered when the Shadowhunters arrived, or when his father came. Alec had already passed out, and everything that followed was another nightmare. He hadn’t been able to attend the funeral, spending weeks in the hospital instead. They tried to cleanse the venom’s effects, but not even the Silent Brothers succeeded. In the end, a medicine containing yin fen was created for him. It kept his body and mind stable. But even with it, Alec knew he would never be the same again. The death of his brother and mother, his father’s blame, the constant medication… it was too much. Alec Lightwood didn’t know how many times he had died that day.

---

“Jace, contact the Institute immediately. Have them send a few hunters and take these Circle members away. Izzy, I want you to examine all of them. We don’t know if Valentine experimented on them.”

After giving his siblings their tasks, Alec looked around. Except for the one who escaped, all the Circle members were on the ground. The man who had fled was badly injured and might not survive.

“Did any of you get hurt, Magnus?”

Finally realizing the club was mostly empty, he turned to the small group. Meeting them again so soon after their meeting felt strange… and they were all staring at him oddly.

“No, darling, thanks to you everyone’s fine.”

The way Magnus spoke to him made his heart beat differently. Alec only nodded, trying to steady himself, when Raphael’s voice cut in.

“Was it you who wounded Valentine in the war a few years ago?”

So that’s why they were looking at him that way… Alec understood now, and he noticed the prideful looks his siblings gave him. Before he could speak, Jace jumped in.

“Yes! He was only sixteen, and even from over five hundred meters away, he managed to shoot him.”

Alec felt his cheeks burn. He didn’t like to talk about it; it felt unnecessary. Valentine was the enemy of them all.

“It’s not a big deal—”

He tried to brush it off, but this time Ragnor Fell cut him off.

“Not a big deal? Son, I’ve always been prejudiced against Nephilim, but you’re proving me wrong. Your kind goes to war too young, I know, but what you did is remarkable even among Nephilim. Am I wrong?”

No, he wasn’t. The elders at the Institute, even the Clave, had congratulated him. His father hadn’t. He hadn’t even looked him in the eye. Alec decided not to think about that now.

“In short, Alexander, you’ve enchanted us all. You were born to lead, darling. You’re magnificent.”

Magnus’s compliments only deepened his blush. Alec slung his quiver back over his shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Izzy smiling knowingly. They were absolutely going to tease him later.

“Thank you… I’m just glad none of you were hurt. We’ll clean up this mess and head out.”

This place was meant for relaxation, but thanks to the Circle, it had turned into chaos. Alec sighed, realizing how much work there was to do. At least he felt good. That was something, wasn’t it?

“Actually, would you share a drink with me, Alexander?”

Magnus’s question caught him completely off guard. Was Magnus… flirting with him? No, surely not. Alec didn’t have any advantages—only flaws.

“Oh, he’ll definitely accept. Do you know he spent the whole day filling out paperwork at the Institute? He needs to relax.”

As Izzy nudged him toward Magnus and the others laughed, Alec blushed even harder. He would scold his sister later.

“Ah, I see. Then I’ll make sure your brother has a good time, dear Isabelle. What do you say, Alexander?”

The way Magnus looked at him made Alec swallow hard. By the Angel, they would have to stab him five times to make him say no—and even then, it probably wouldn’t be enough.

Chapter Text

When Alec found himself in Magnus’s apartment, he honestly didn’t know what to do. As they stepped out of the portal, he just stood there, glancing around uncertainly. At that moment, something brushed against his legs, making him jump. Looking down, he saw a cat—an incredibly cute one at that!

He immediately crouched down, stroking its fur. The cat must have enjoyed it, because it melted into Alec’s arms, and Alec smiled as he picked it up.

“Chairman Meow likes you.”

When Magnus gestured toward the couch, Alec walked over and sat down. A few seconds later, a glass filled with a glowing blue liquid appeared before him. The problem was… Alec had never had a drink before.

“Um, I…”

He didn’t know how to say it. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass himself in front of such a powerful warlock or come across as inexperienced.

“It’s fine, darling. It’s just a cocktail. Not much alcohol in it. It’s sweet, too.”

Trusting Magnus’s words, Alec picked up the glass and took a sip. Just as Magnus had said, it was sweet and left a pleasant taste in his mouth.

“This is really good!”

He spoke in surprise, glancing at Magnus. The warlock chuckled and winked, making Alec smile in return. At first, he had been tense around Magnus, but now… he was starting to feel much more at ease.

“I have to say, Alexander, you surprise me. In more ways than one.”

Alec tilted his head curiously but stayed quiet. What did he mean? Was it because of the whole Valentine situation? Alec wasn’t sure. When he didn’t answer, Magnus continued.

“I knew Jace and Isabelle, but I’d never heard anything about you until the day of the meeting. Honestly, even though you were their older brother, I suspected you. I’ve never had the best history with most of the Lightwoods, and since you’re the eldest, I expected someone arrogant, self-absorbed. Someone who wanted to work with Downworlders but didn’t really like them. But you… you’re different, Alexander. Your thoughts, your actions, the way you carry yourself… you’re unlike any Nephilim I’ve ever known. You know what you want, you fight for what’s best for our world, and you don’t shy away from the battle. I won’t even mention the fact that at sixteen, you stood against Valentine and bought the entire Shadow World precious time. You’re extraordinary, Alexander. Truly an angel.”

Alec felt his breath hitch. Magnus’s words—so full of sincerity and admiration—hit him hard. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t extraordinary… he was a coward who couldn’t even protect his own mother and siblings. Still, Magnus’s words warmed him, and despite himself, he smiled.

“What you just said means so much to me, Magnus… I’m trying so hard, and I’ll keep trying. I just hope, in the end, everything turns out the way we all want it to.”

And he would do anything to make that happen. Anything. There was no way he’d let their world be ruled by a madman.

“I will, and so will the others. But now I have a question for you.”

Magnus’s voice sounded almost hesitant. Strange—Alec had always thought of him as confident, and he knew that he was.

“Is something wrong?”

He couldn’t help but worry. He hadn’t said anything wrong, had he? Nothing bad had happened… right?

“No, darling, don’t worry. I just wanted to say… I’d like to get to know you better. And I wanted to know what you thought about that.”

Alec blinked a few times, caught off guard. Before she left, Izzy had told him it wouldn’t be a problem if he wanted to get to know Magnus better. And now Magnus was saying the same thing. Alec wasn’t blind—Magnus was the most attractive man he’d ever seen. And his gay heart was pounding faster every second he spent near him. He felt the heat rising in his cheeks as he forced himself to look into Magnus’s eyes.

“I… um… I’d really like that, Magnus. I mean—I’d like to get to know you.”

When he finally managed to get the sentence out, he immediately felt embarrassed and looked away. He could barely form a proper sentence, and now he was blushing on top of it.

“Alexander, will you look at me, darling?”

The soft voice filled his ears, and Alec shyly turned his gaze back. Magnus was smiling at him, radiant, and he didn’t look annoyed in the slightest.

“What you just said makes me very happy. Of course, we’ll see each other often because of the alliance, but I’d love to meet up sometimes—just the two of us. And message each other. Would that be alright with you?”

Alec found himself nodding before he could even think. Of course it was alright. He could feel the excitement bubbling inside him, and for once, he didn’t care. This was the first time he had gotten this close to anyone. And he knew his siblings wouldn’t judge him—on the contrary, they would support him. He didn’t have to hold back, did he?

“I… I can’t wait, Magnus.”

"I can't wait too, Alexander."

Chapter Text

The past few weeks had been both exhausting and rewarding. Magnus had gone on several dates with Alexsander, they had been texting and talking on the phone every day. The young Shadowhunter had even begun attending not just political meetings but also regular group gatherings. Everyone liked Alexsander, and that made Magnus ridiculously happy.

Yet there were things everyone noticed. Sometimes Alexsander looked utterly drained, exhausted, and in pain… and every so often, his blue eyes shifted to hazel, and strands of his jet-black hair turned white. Magnus thought perhaps Alexsander used lenses and dye, but it didn’t seem very likely. The others had spoken of it when Alexsander wasn’t around, but no one had reached a conclusion. Magnus had asked Jace and Isabelle directly, but they had given evasive answers. Clearly, Alexsander would only reveal the truth when he was ready — and Magnus respected that.

The revelations — and the chaos — would come when they arrived at the Institute.

A few days earlier, Alexsander, Isabelle, and Jace had gone to Pandemonium, where they announced their alliance in front of a large crowd of Downworlders. Of course, there had been objections and questions, but the speeches from the four leaders carried weight — and Alexsander himself had delivered a powerful speech. Up until then, Magnus had merely liked Alexsander. But in that moment, he fell in love. Alexsander’s thoughtfulness, determination, and resolve were nothing short of inspiring. In the end, the Downworlders had accepted, and the first hurdle was overcome.

The real challenge, however, was explaining it to the Nephilim. And that was why they were now at the Institute.

Magnus, walking behind Alexsander, leaned slightly toward Isabelle, who was keeping pace beside him. He sensed something was wrong.

“Is Alexsander alright?”

Magnus’s voice was laced with concern, and Isabelle gave him a bitter smile, shaking her head.

“Today is… a bad day for him.”

She said nothing more. Magnus wanted to press, but by then, they had already reached the gathered crowd of Shadowhunters. Exchanging looks with his companions, Magnus straightened his posture. Just then, Alexsander began to speak. His voice was cold, but unwavering.

“I know you’re all worried, so I won’t waste time. A few weeks ago, we began discussions with the Downworlder leaders. With Valentine’s threat growing, the time has come for unity. We have agreed to end the tension between us and form an alliance. The rising danger threatens the entire Shadow World. If we do not stand together, the destruction to come will destroy us all.”

He paused then, allowing the Nephilim to absorb his words and voice their opinions. Objections were inevitable.

“You’re talking complete nonsense! An alliance with Downworlders brings us nothing!”

A man stepped forward, and Magnus frowned. If he remembered correctly, his name was Raj — and Isabelle and Jace hated him. From what they had told Magnus, Raj was jealous of Alexsander. Honestly, they were probably right.

“And why exactly is that, Raj?”

Alexsander asked, though it was clear he didn’t really care for the answer. Magnus smirked to himself.

“Because Valentine sees them as the threat — not us. There’s no need to save or support anyone tainted with demon blood.”

The words were so cliché, so pathetically ignorant, that Magnus couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. Most Shadowhunters were narrow-minded anyway.

“Not all Downworlders are evil, despite the demon blood in their veins. Just as not all Nephilim are good, despite our angelic blood. Valentine himself is the greatest proof of that. I will not allow his madness to bring harm to either my people or the Downworld. Do you understand me? The wards of this Institute were made by a warlock, and that very warlock stands by our side. While you are safe here because of his magic, what right do you have to speak this way? You don’t have to like the alliance — but you will respect it, and you will obey orders.”

Magnus wished he could see Alexsander’s face. From his position a few steps back, he couldn’t, but even his tone carried such power that Magnus was entranced.

For a moment, Raj fell silent. But only for a moment.

“You’ve been poisoned by demon venom — that’s why you’re making such decisions.”

Magnus clearly saw Alexsander tense, and his frown deepened. What venom was Raj talking about? Isabelle and Jace bristled instantly, fury flashing across their faces. Raj kept going.

“You should have died with the other Lightwoods — at least then you would’ve gone to heaven with some shred of honor. This is why your father couldn’t even look at you. You befriended those tainted with demon blood because it runs in your veins too.”

The hall was deathly silent. Even the other Shadowhunters looked shaken. Magnus glanced at his companions — they were stunned, struggling to comprehend.

Then Jace lunged forward.

“You bastard! Do you even realize what you’re saying?!”

Just as Jace was about to strike Raj, Alexsander thrust out an arm to stop him. When he spoke, Magnus’s blood ran cold. He had never heard Alexsander’s voice like this before.

“What you mean to say is that I should have perished alongside my baby brother and my mother, whose deaths I witnessed with my own eyes? And you choose today, of all days — the anniversary of their deaths — to speak these words? Nearly everyone here knows what happened to me that night. Yes — I couldn’t save them. They both died. And if that wasn’t enough, I endured torture at the hands of a demon and have battled Yin Fen addiction ever since. I know what you all think of me. A failure. Weak. A Lightwood addicted to poison. And yes — all of that is true. But despite it all, I stand here as the head of this Institute. And none of you have the right to question my decisions. Among the Lightwoods, there is a saying: we break noses and face the consequences. If the choice I’ve made harms any of you, then I will bear the punishment gladly. But you should know this — I will not allow such harm to come to pass. If you do not trust me, step forward now. Those who do will be reassigned to Institutes far from the war.”

Again, silence. But Magnus felt crushed beneath the weight of what he had just heard. Everyone knew Maryse had lost her youngest son — but none had realized Alexsander had been there, that he had endured such horror. Watching closely, Magnus saw Alexsander’s shoulders tremble. He was on the verge of breaking. Yet he stood tall.

“It seems the decision is made. Jace, Isabelle — please deliver the rest of the information and organize the groups. Make sure our guests are comfortable. And Andrew — begin preparations to transfer Raj to the Moscow Institute. I won’t tolerate anyone here sowing rebellion.”

The blond Shadowhunter beside them nodded, and Alexsander turned away. Magnus’s heart broke at the sight. His lips trembled, his eyes were filled with pain. He strode past them all without meeting a single gaze, vanishing from sight.

At the same moment, Jace lunged at Raj, and this time, no one dared to stop him. Not that Magnus would have allowed it — anyone who tried would have been obliterated by him.

How could that cursed Shadowhunter treat his heartbroken Alexsander like this?

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Chapter Text

After Alec locked himself in his room and drew a silence and lock rune on the door, he grabbed the first thing within reach and hurled it to the floor. The small vase shattered into pieces, but Alec didn’t care. Why had everything started going wrong all of a sudden? The alliance had been carefully planned. He had even gotten along well with Magnus and the other Downworlders—some of them had even become his friends. He had thought today would be just another day to endure, maybe even a little better than the others, but now he had only humiliated himself.

He had wanted to hide the whole Yin Fen ordeal from them for as long as possible—forever, if he could. But Raj’s words had enraged him so much… and since the other Shadowhunter had exposed everything, Alec couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He was sure the trust he had built with the Downworlders had now been completely destroyed. Who would trust a failed Nephilim addicted to Yin Fen? Even in the Institute, almost no one trusted him anymore—he was aware of that—and Alec felt like all of his efforts had gone to waste.

He felt tears running down his face, but he didn’t care. Kicking his desk, he sank down onto the edge of his bed. With his head in his hands, he couldn’t stop the small sobs escaping his lips.

“Mom… Max… I miss you so much.”

If they had survived, maybe even after being tortured and turning into an addict, it wouldn’t have hurt this badly. His mother would have supported him. At the very least, his father would have looked at him with a little more understanding. But none of them were here. He only felt like he was condemned to vanish into the dark. How could he face the outside world? How could he look Magnus and the others in the eye?

He couldn’t. Maybe if he turned off his phone and hid in his room for a few days, it would be fine. At least until things cooled down. But he had responsibilities—duties he couldn’t ignore.

“Damn it…”

Wiping his wet cheeks, he drew in a shaky breath. He felt cornered. He just wanted to take a break for once, to escape from everything, but that was impossible for him.

Just then, a knock sounded at his door, and Alec sighed. It had to be Izzy and Jace. He knew he had worried them.

“Alexander.”

But when he heard Magnus’s voice, Alec held his breath. Why had he come all the way to his room? The warlock wasn’t supposed to be here. Taking another shaky breath, Alec stood, unsure what to do. He didn’t have to open the door. He didn’t want to see Magnus’s judging gaze. Deep down, he knew Magnus wasn’t that kind of person—but still, he couldn’t help it.

“Alexander, I know you can hear me. Please open the door, love. I’m worried about you.”

His voice sounded so full of concern that Alec was sure he wasn’t pretending. Biting his lip, Alec hesitated before finally undoing the lock and facing the door. Yet his eyes stayed on the floor, not on Magnus. Just days ago, he had loved looking into Magnus’s eyes—those eyes he cherished so much—but now shame weighed him down.

“My love.”

Alec slowly raised his head when Magnus’s fingers brushed his chin. When their eyes met, Alec swallowed hard.

“I realize you never expected your struggles to be exposed this way. They were things you probably didn’t want to share with us for a long time—maybe ever—and I’m sorry that we witnessed them.”

Alec blinked in surprise. Why was Magnus apologizing? He had been the one to call them to the Institute. None of it was their fault. It had always been Alec’s fault.

“If you want to break the alliance and agreements, I’ll understand. Nephilim are already a difficult subject for you, and someone problematic like me could only be trouble.”

He tried his best to keep his voice steady, but he knew he had failed. Why was he never good at anything? Why did he always have to ruin everything? And the longer Magnus stayed silent, the more Alec believed it.

“Alexander, I didn’t come here to cancel anything. I came here to make sure you’re okay.”

At first, Magnus’s voice sounded surprised, but by the end it had softened. Alec swallowed again but remained silent.

“Neither I nor my friends judged you, Alexander. When you walked away earlier, we all wanted to follow you because we were worried. Jace and Isabelle asked us to give you time, but as you can see, I’m here. I’m here to ease my own worries and theirs. We know you’re a good person—that’s what matters. Neither Yin Fen nor anything else changes that.”

Alec didn’t know when the tears began again, but Magnus’s words had triggered something deep inside him, shaking him to his core. The warlock’s voice was so genuine, so sincere… Alec only wanted to hold onto him.

“I’m so tired, Magnus…”

Though his trembling voice barely formed words, Magnus seemed to understand. Alec felt strong arms wrap around him, and he leaned his head against the warlock’s chest.

“I’m trying—I really am—but nothing is ever enough. I never wanted my mom and brother to die, I never wanted this addiction, or to be the source of my father’s anger and disappointment. I never wanted Jace and Izzy to always have to protect me, to wear themselves out because of me. No matter what I do, it’s never enough. Even as head of the Institute, so few people respect me. Most days I wonder why I even bother.”

Letting it all out after keeping it bottled for so long, Alec felt the soothing brush of Magnus’s fingers through his hair. The warlock listened without interrupting, and it made Alec feel just a little lighter.

“I want you to know Jace and Isabelle have never complained about looking after you. When they talk about you, their eyes are always filled with pride and love. Since I met you, I’ve seen how much you fight for everyone else, and I admire you for it. There’s no excuse for your father’s treatment of you. If that man ever dares say anything to hurt you again, he’ll have to face me.”

Alec raised his head slightly, catching the faint shimmer of magic in Magnus’s eyes. It was so beautiful that for a moment, Alec only wanted to stay right there forever.

“And Alexander… we’ll do everything we can to find you a treatment. We’ll do it together. Please stop belittling yourself. You don’t have to feel alone anymore, or keep everything inside. I’ll be right here with you.”

As Magnus’s fingers traced along his damp cheeks, Alec found himself nodding. Magnus’s words gave him a sense of security. If Magnus were lying, he wouldn’t try so hard—Alec knew that.

“May I kiss you, love?”

After a short silence, Magnus’s voice dropped, and Alec felt his cheeks flush. He had never imagined giving his first kiss to a warlock, but it didn’t matter. Alec knew he wanted this.

“Yes…”

His voice was quiet with embarrassment, but Magnus’s smile showed he had heard. A moment later, Alec closed his eyes as warm lips pressed against his own.

This must be what heaven felt like.