Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was quiet, finally.

As afternoon faded into evening, and the sky was set alight by the setting sun, and the last of the group chatting around his home dissipated into the forest, carrying their laughter and goodbyes with them.

It was lonely, the way it always was now that the building has been expanded. Maybe that was why Saps chose to sit on the front steps today. And perhaps that explained why he thought there was a still a lingering glance on him, even in the silence.

He turned around, and felt the air knocked out of his lungs.

There —right there — beside him on the steps, sat a shimmering mirage of raven hair and pristinely ironed velvet coat silhouetted by the weak evening sunlight.

Fluixon grinned in a way that was too familiar. It felt like it was ripped from some past lifetime, and pasted like a roadblock in the middle of an empty street, right into Saps's present.

A beat. A small silence that beckoned Saps to say something. A pattern he knew too well.

"Why are you here?"

He knew his voice sounded scratchy and breathless and so quiet the breeze might've carried it away. He also knew that the question was pointless; he'll never get a straight answer. This was small talk for them.

Flux replied nonetheless.

"I'm not allowed to visit an old friend?"

And for just a second, it all felt so mundane and comforting Saps almost had the stupid urge to confide in him. He almost wanted to tell him you died and I killed you.

But his words died in his throat as he stared at Flux — right there, sitting right there — and realized he didn't dare say something so sharp and poignant like that. He felt as if he breathed those words into existence, something about this right now would shatter and he might have to live with its delicate shards on his front steps forever.

"You finished it," Flux commented casually. His eyes were on the structure behind them.

Yeah, I rebuilt it after I came back from the collesuem, where I felt my sword slide through your ribcage and saw your eyes flutter for the last time, Saps wanted to say. Yeah, after what you did to me, this was still the only place that felt like home. Yeah, I finished it thinking you would never get to see it.

"Yeah — yeah. I did. Do you like?" Saps tried to mirror Flux's tone, but his voice broke. Sentiment was a bitch.

"You added a second floor."

Saps could only hum in acknowledgement. He didn't trust his voice not to trample over this moment, frozen in time. His heart was pounding, a stark contrast to the neutrality of his expression and the stillness of his body. He knew this fear well, only this time, he couldn't run form it. He didn't want to.

Flux smiled. It was a fleeting thing, too bright to sustain itself. It was agonizing.

"What do you want to hear?"

His voice rang in Saps's ears. The voice that called him a friend, still. What was he trying to do?

"I don't want… " He let the comment hang in their air. The moment was broken, and he knew they were both getting tired of keeping it up. His heartbeat faded to background noise.

"Well, I'm sorry. Truly, Saps, I meant it when I said I didn't want for this to happen. It should've ended a long time ago." Flux's voice was sincere. Their eyes met and Saps saw an exhaustion in his gaze only found in dead men.

Was it an apology he wanted?

Truth be told, Saps already knew he regretted it. Just like most things about Flux, Saps understood his intent with the betrayal. A quick victory, nothing beyond that. He understood that the moment Flux agreed to meet at the arena, Flux was choosing to end his story there.

If so, what did he want? Some sort of closure? Did he want his time back? Would he ask Flux to bring him to a moment much too similar to this one, but this time he wasn't chased out of his home and thrust into a life he never wanted? Who would he be without being haunted by the cries of his previous allies, craving to see his blood spilled?

Did he want to know who that person would be?

Did he want his best friend back?

"I don't want your apology."

Flux blinked, slowly. Saps stared at the corners of his eyes, letting the purple irises scan over his face like an afterthought. He was being prompted to continue.

"I don't want anything from you. I killed you. I wanted you to die."

"So what am I doing here?"

The delivery of that sentence was so nonchalant, almost teasing. It reeked of the past. The past that wasn't anywhere near the present. The past that Saps already lived.

"You're an idiot, Fluixon. Did you miss it on your way here?"

"Show me what you mean."

They both stood up. Saps lead the way, but couldn't help looking back. This is what he wanted Flux here for. Flux followed him, solid for once in their entire conversation, like his steps in the grass held importance, and that chased away any doubt resting in Saps's chest.

They walked down to the banks of the ocean, along the beach, the sun's dying light caught in the waves. In a couple minutes, it'll be completely dark outside.

They stopped in front of Flux's grave.

Saps scanned the horizon while Flux bent down to read the markings of his gravestone. The waves crashed in rhythm with Saps's heartbeat, the palm trees sway in the breeze. After all of this, he'd like to go home.

When his gaze returned, Flux was smiling at him again. And for the first time, Saps smiled back.

"Thank you, friend."

"I'll decorate it a bit better next week. Its hard to get flowers nowadays, no one sells them."

"C'mon Saps. Its fine. Its fitting. Go home."

They were both tired. Saps let out a breath, and felt his shoulders untense.

He ascended the stairs to his house, leaving his friend by his grave.

He turned back. Just once, when he was at the top. But the sun has set, and it was a cloudy night, so he couldn't see anything beyond the lights spilling out from his windows.

Saparata closed his eyes, and went to bed.