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Chapter Text

Made a playlist for the fic! Each song is for each chapter and I will keep updating it with every chapter, you can listen to it however you like though!

https://spotify.link/X5FflAabSXb

Chapter Text

Draco Malfoy.

A name people remember, fear, and hate.

Yet all he is, is a broken shell of the teenage boy who can't fall asleep for the death of him.

For some reason free from Azkaban after a few months, even though he was supposed to spend years there. Now living in a small apartment where addicts live in. People who couldn't care less about their new neighbour.

Draco doesn't know if he should feel relieved or more on edge by that.

But all he knows is that the darkness of the night and the neighbours above him, who seem to be in a really bad fight, are not helping him fall asleep.

Anxiety is eating him alive, like the Dementors feasted on his emotions, his skin, and his soul. Not sparing a single spot of his body and mind.

He squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to remember that hellish place. But all it does is pulling him further in. Screams, sometimes not even his own, goreish scenes right in front of his eyes, the biting cold sending shivers all over his body. Draco can see the Dementor right in front of him, ready to let him choke on every decision Draco has made in his life, before his eyes snap open and he's met with the white ceiling of his new home.

His eyes are frantically moving from left to right, matching the uneven rhythm of his breathing. He tries to sit up but all he manages to do is turning on his side, trying to calm down from his panic attack as his hands clench into tight fists, draining blood from the palm of his hands. The pain helps him focus on something else than the fear and he finally manages to take in steady and deep breaths. His body relaxes again, just laying there.

A knock at the door finally makes him sit up and he moves back until his back meets the bedframe.

It's just a knock.

He bites down at his lip, forces himself to stand up and walks over to the door. Just as he opens it he slams it shut again.

"Malfoy."
His voice is tired, as if he's already fed up with him, knocking at the door again.

Draco stares at the door in shock, as if it’s Harry himself standing there and not some wooden plank, before slowly opening it again. His eyes didn't deceive him. It is in fact Harry Bloody Potter standing in front of him.

"What do you want Potter?"
Draco asks with a rough voice and suspicion clearly written on his face.

For a moment, Harry just pauses, his mouth open as if he wants to say something yet can't. His green eyes staring at the young man in front of him, taking him in, really looking at him.
"I- I heard you got out so I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Draco frowns and looks him up and down just to make sure it's actually the Harry Potter in front of him.
"You're lying."

Now Harry is the one to frown.
"I'm not lying. I'm actually..." he pauses, Draco expects him to say that he's actually worried but can see him swallow down the truth, "just wondering." Harry finishes his sentence, his lips turning into a thin line as he presses them together. As if he wants to let the lie linger and the truth hidden.

Draco sighs and steps aside, finally letting there some space for Harry to enter. Said man stands there for a moment, his eyebrows raised before taking the unexpected offer quickly, knowing damn well how fast Draco can change his mind.

Chapter Text

The apartment is quiet. Way too quiet. They both just stand there, not talking, or looking at the other. 

Draco looks around, feeling lost now that he just let his long-time nemesis into his apartment in the middle of the night. He plays with his hands, trying to calm himself down and to overplay his shaking hands. He suddenly remembers that he's half naked in front of Harry, only wearing a t-shirt which covers the boxershorts underneath. 

Embarrased, he clears his throat and rubs his neck.

"Uhm. You can sit down in the living room. I'll be back."

He doesn't wait for a response and hurries back into his bedroom, quickly putting on some sweatpants. 

Upon entering the living room again, he notices Harry standing there with his hands in his pockets and looking around. You may think he looks at pictures or furniture but he only moved in today, the Aurors Office having organized this, and if he's being honest, he doesn't have anything personal to show off. Everything got confiscated, including the mansion, his father is in Azkaban, probably forever, and his mum...well. She couldn't bear it any longer and…ended things. Nothing pleasent to remember there.

"So..."

Draco starts, standing a few feet away from Harry. His eyes snap back to him, almost glowing like two pieces of emeralds, so intense as if he could read Draco like an open book.

"So...I wanted to talk."

Harry starts taking slow steps towards him, cautiously as if he's a predator, closing the distance to his prey. Draco takes a step back, making the man in front of him stop immediately in his tracks, getting the memo.

Personal space. A lot of personal space.

He rubs his neck and looks to the side, the tension in Draco's body immediately leaving him as he finally got out of the hypnotizing gaze.

His head drops down, his shoulders slump, and a deep sigh leaves his lungs, as if he‘s in complete defeat without actually having tried anything.

"Listen. I'm sorry for everything that has happened. Even if it doesn't sound like it, I genuienly wanted for you to be free and not in- that place."

"I know. You were there. At my trial..."

Draco crosses his arms in front of him to feel some kind of shield and nibs on his lower lip. He may not trust Harry but he knows that this fact is genuine.

"Right..." Harry mumbles, remembering the unfortunate events of that day. "I don't know how it is for you to get out and live a normal life but...if you need help with anything, how minor it may even be-" he pulls out a piece of paper and holds it out for Draco. 

Draco looks at the paper and then back at Harry before stepping forward and taking it. It's an address and a phone number. 

"You can reach me through that. Anytime."

Harry finishes his sentence in a quieter tone, the self consiousness so sudden that it‘s clear as day. Draco looks up to Harry, eyes slightly wide from the sudden change of spirit in Harry, not saying anything.

"Well...uhm- that's it...I think I should leave now."

He takes a step back, looking at Draco with those eyes, as if he’s silently pleading him to reach out before he reluctantly turns his back to him and walks to the door. He leaves without saying another word, leaving Draco alone again, in this cold and empty apartment.

Draco stares at the door a while longer before he snaps back to reality and looks down at the piece paper again, obviously ripped out from a notebook as if Harry was in a hurry.

"Why are you doing this?"

He mumbles to himself, still frozen on the spot.

Chapter Text

Harry was standing in front of the door, looking at it as if Draco himself was standing right there. He aggressively brushes through his hair in annoyance and quickly makes his way out. 

Visiting the Weasley's next morning turned out to be a bad idea aswell. 

"You did what?!"

Hermione asks irritated and in shock.

"I gave him my address and my number."

Harry answers, repeating the words he said before as Hermione is looking at him like a dissapointed mother and Ron like the overwhelmed father who's lost but takes his wive's side in fear of getting murdered. 

"Okay. Let's calm down first yeah?"

Ron says and places his hand on her thigh.

She glares at him but doesn't say anything further. Ron takes it as his queue that he's allowed to talk.

"You didn't explain why you did that. You know we already were on edge when you defended him in his trial. Now you're the whole reason he's out of Azkaban and gave him your bloody address."

Harry looks at them at a loss of words, quite disappointed.

"Malfoy was a child. Like us. He just didn't have the fortune of good parents and a proper childhood."

"Neither did you."

Hermione conters.

"Are you really comparing my muggle childhood with his? His father who was a dark magic user? A follower of Voldemort? My aunt and uncle were just ridiculous and my cousin a fool, the worst thing they did was calling a cupboard my room. I can't even imagine in what abuse and fear Draco must've lived in, being forced to take the Dark Mark when he was barely sixteen."

The two look perplexed at the outburst of Harry, confused as to why he's suddenly feeling so sympathetic with him, defending him in front of his two best friends and getting into a fight. For Draco.

"Okay...I'm sorry. You're...you're right."

Hermione slowly starts, trying to ease the situation and an obviously anxious Harry.

"Did he reach out to you yet?"

She then asks after a few seconds of silence, making sure Harry calmed down again.

"No."

He answers, avoiding eye contact.

"And when did this happen again?"

Harry thinks for a moment and looks down at his hands.

"Two months ago."

Ron and Hermione share a look and the latter sighs.

"Look. Harry. We all know Draco. He's a loner and has a lot of pride. Don't expect him to reach out to you at all, but if he for some reason does, just promise to be careful."

She looks genuinely worried. Just worried, Harry notices. Not annoyed, not mad, not defensive, just worried. He takes a deep breath and nods. 

"Alright. I get it, we all went through shit because of him. I promise. I just...want to give him the chance I never gave? I don't know either."

He rubs his forehead and looks at the table in thought.

"No I get it. I just felt the anger and the grudge I felt towards him back then. It's over now and the truth about him and everything now lays open. You're a good person Harry."

Hermione reaches out and takes his hand in hers, holding it firmly and reassuringly. He stares at their intertwined hands and finally smiles.

"Thank you."

"Good that that's settled now. Can we please watch movies now."

Ron asks getting a laugh out of the two.

"Alright. Let's watch'em."

Chapter Text

Stupid.

It's stupid.

Draco stares at the paper laying in front of him. Weeks have passed since Harry visited him. Nor has he heard a word from him since that day aswell. 

He wrote his number and his address down. 

Draco can't help but laugh. This is so stupid. Harry is so stupid and this whole situation is just so stupid.

What was he thinking? Writing down his address? Since when did Harry Potter trust him?

Maybe it's not even his address. Maybe he tricked him and wanted to give him false hopes. Making him hope that at least one person doesn't resent him.

His eyebrows knit and he takes the piece of paper, crumbles it and throws it across the room, leaving it forgotten in some corner. 

"You're stupid Potter."

He mumbles and leaves the apartment.

"I can do my groceries on my own."

His teeth grit as he hurries down the street. 

It takes him a while to reach the actual city where it's busy and filled with people and once he does so, he can't ignore the stares and whispering obviously directed toward him. 

Even though it makes him anxious, he continues his walk and enters the first grocery store he finds, not even bothering to take his time. Draco just takes a few things which he can live off for a few days and then walks to the cashier. The glare he gets from him is unmistakable.

"Get out."

Draco frowns and halts in his tracks. He doesn't answer and looks at him confused.

"Are you deaf boy?! I said get out!"

The cashier repeats and stands up walking toward him.

"Excuse me?"

"Excuse you for what? I don't sell to people like you. You should be locked in for live and not roaming the streets so freely and without a care in the world. Do you not feel the slightest bit of remorse?!"

Draco was filled with remorse, self-hatred and guilt. The world wouldn't believe him though. Dumbledore's death is his fault, the whole attack was thanks to him. Of course people wouldn't believe jackshit he says. So he just doesn't say anything at all. 

When he doesn't move though, the man punches him in the face caughing Draco off guard and making him snap back to reality.

"Don't make me repeat myself again you filfthy brat!"

Draco doesn't waste another second and leaves. Everything quickly becomes too much and the whispering around him is becoming defeaning. He suddenly feels claustrophobic as if the people hunch closer to him until there's no space left to even breathe. 

His eyes are frantically looking around, making sure no one tries to attack or kill him. His steps turn into a run and he doesn't stop until he's back at his apartment complex filled with lonely people abandoned by the world. Once he's in his room he slams the door shut and picks up the piece of paper, dialing the number without a second thought.

"Hello?"

Harry's voice says on the other end. Draco's eyes widen and he gasps, throwing the phone across the room and against the wall, breaking it in the process. 

What was he thinking?! Calling Harry just like that.

Draco stumbles back against the wall and slides down. He pulls his legs up and hugs them as his lungs tighten up making him almost choke trying to catch his breath.

Stupid. You're so stupid. 

Just make it stop. Make everything go away. I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to live anymore. What am I still doing here?

Everything is so stupid.

Chapter Text

"Hello?"

Harry asks as he picks up the phone with an unknown number shown on the screen he hasn't saved. He just hears a gasp and then the call abruptly ended. 

He frowns in confusion and feels like he recognizes the gasp he heard. Harry stares at his phone for a few seconds before his eyes widen in realization.

Draco.

Without wasting another second he collects all his concentration and apparates himself in front of Draco's apartment complex. He rushes inside, his heart beat raising with each step until he's in front of his door. He’s about to knock but his hand freezes just inches away from the old wood. Maybe it wasn't him? Maybe it's nothing? And maybe he just overreacted?

Harry hesitates before knocking on the door with new determination. Making sure doesn’t hurt. He waits but no one opens it and he starts to feel uneasy, putting his weight on one leg and then the other, trying to seem calm. Is he out? Where is he supposed to look if he's out? Draco could be everywhere right now. 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath "Alright," he takes out his wand and points it at the doorlock "Alohomora." He just wants to make sure.

And with a click the door opens. He gently pushes it open and looks inside. No sight of Draco. Great. He just broke in someone's home. Not just someone. Draco Malfoy's home, invading his one private place he has. But it's too late now.

Harry walks in and looks around, trying not to pry. When he's done checking the living room and the kitchen, he enters the hallways, seeing three doors. One is open, the bathroom, the other is just an empty room, leaving the last one with a closed door.

He knocks at first, softly, scared that Draco might panic.

"Malfoy?"

No one answers and he decides to slowly open the door to not startle him in case he didn’t hear the knock.

When he looks inside, his heart drops to his stomach. The room is a mess. Broken windows and furniture, the bed is flipped over and glass is scattered all over the place and against the wall under the window sits Draco, curled up in himself, not even looking up. 

One thing is clear, Harry didn't overreact.

He takes careful steps forward and sits down beside him, leaning against the wall. Harry just stares forward, not asking or saying anything. Just sitting there and hoping that his presence is comforting him in some way. The silence in the room is filled with the ragged breathing and sniffs of Draco, and Harry tries his best not to say anything or touch him. For some reason, he feels like just being there is what he needs. No words, no physical contact, just a comforting presence to not feel alone. 

The room gets darker with the night claiming all sunlight, until only the moonlight shines through the room, illuminating the darkness. 

And then, he feels a weight on his shoulder and a hand on his lap. He slowly turns to look at his shoulder and notices that Draco has fallen asleep. He turns his head to his lap and sees his hand limply laying there, still trembling. Harry hesitates but takes his hand in his, opening his palm and seeing four crescent moons on it.

His lips turn into a thin line as he brushes with his thumb around it, so gently, scared to hurt him. Closing his eyes, Harry closes his palm again and continues to hold his hand. 

Mayhe hours pass again before Harry decides to gently pick Draco up in his arms and carry him to his living room, laying him down on it. Now that he finally sees his face completely, he sees the split lip and a bruise forming around it. Harry frowns and stares at his face a while longer before draping a blanket over his body and then disappearing into the kitchen. 

He takes a cloth and wets it with warm water before returning to Draco and cleaning his lip and hands off the blood as gently as possible. Surprisingly, Draco doesn't wake up. He only stirs one time before sleeping peacefully again. 

Once he's finished, he bandages his hands, and then prepares a little breakfast, placing it on the tv table. To finish off, he enters his bedroom again and cleans up the mess as quietly as possible with the help of a few charms. 

Writing a little note and placing it beside his breakfast, he finally leaves the apartment with a heavy feeling in his chest and makes his way back to his home.

He really underestimated Draco’s condition, hasn’t he.

Chapter Text

Waking up was always an act for itself for Draco but this time, he felt peaceful. Like he actually got some rest out of the sleep. No nightmares, actually no dreams at all. Just complete darkness. Silence. Tranquility.

And when he opens his eyes, he stares at the ceiling for a while, actually wanting to fall asleep again. For the first time in a long time, Draco wants to sleep.

But after gaining more of his consciousness and remembering what had happened last night, he sits up straight like a candle, the sleep now forgotten and the tiredness completely vanished.

He went out. He got assaulted. He went back home and got a panic attack. And then he called Harry. Worst of all, he showed up.

Draco looks around his apartment, realizing he's not in his room anymore and fortunately finds it empty. Did he dream last nights events? He moves to sit correctly on the sofa and finds an untouched plate sitting on it with a note beside it.

Oh.

His brows knit together as he stares at the note with something written on it. And as he goes to pick it up, he notices the bandages around his hand. Draco freezes and stares at it. 

Oh.

He turns his hand to look at his palm. The crescent moons now hidden behind the white fabric. He pulls his other hand forward and sees it secured aswell. Draco sighs and finally picks up the note.

I'm glad you called me. I hope I was of help. And since your phone broke maybe consider sending me an owl next time you need something ;) 

Hope you enjoy your breakfast and that you'll feel better when you wake up!

Oh.

Before eating his breakfast, Draco walks to his room to check up on the damage but when he enters the room he finds it completely flawless. Everything is back in its place. No windwos are broken. Or furnitures flipped over. It's clean and tidy.

Oh.

Draco's heart squeezes uncomfortably. He doesn't understand why Harry would go through such lenghts for him. With what did he deserve that? Being treated so kind and considerate. 

His reputation will take Harry down with him. He can't be at fault for that too. He should avoid Harry completely and not allow him to waltz around his presence anymore.

It's unfair for Harry. 

And Draco is angry because of that. He's confused, and angry, and guilty. Angry at himself, confused because even after Harry explained himself, he still doesn’t know why exactly he’s doing it. And guilty because he's bad and Harry can’t seem to see it.

He's evil. A malice. An awful influence on Harry, one that will ruin him before he even realizes it himself. Like offering him the forbidden fruit on a silver plate. So deceivingly and tempting to eat, yet once he does, all he’ll gain is doom.

It's better if Draco remains alone. Away from all people with pure intentions like Harry, so his poison doesn’t bring them down. He can’t be the cause of yet another fall of a loved one. 

That's what he deserves anyway. A fool destined to die alone in his dark chambers.

Chapter Text

"What are you doing here?"

Draco didn't want to see Harry. He doesn't want to do anything with him. He told himself that. Told himself to push him away and keep him at a distance. Yet he's standing right in front of him again, so close that he can smell Harry's cologne. It smells like fall. Like a flower field on a rainy day and leaves falling from the trees.

"We're going grocery shopping together."

Harry just smiles, full on ignoring the absolute shock and disapproval written on Draco's face.

"We do what?"

He doesn't step away from the doorway, not invinting Harry to walk inside in any way. Yes. That's good. Keep him away. Distance yourself.

"You heard me. Come on now."

Harry already wanted to leave.

"No."

He stops in his tracks and turns back to Draco, who's frowning at him, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

"Yes."

Draco glares now irritated at the stubborness of Harry, gripping the door handle tightly in his hand to keep himself standing where he is.

"Potter. I didn't ask for your...help. I can buy my groceries on my own and don't need a babysitter."

At that, Harry just raises his brows.

"Don't know about that one."

Draco's jaw almost snaps in half at the way he's clenching it and Harry just smiles innocently, obviously seeing how his face is twitching.

"It happened one time."

"And how many times did you go out since you got released?"

"I-"

Draco is dumbfounded and doesn't know how to respond since, well, he got out the house exactly one time so far and they both know the answer to it.

He grumbles in annoyance and turns around to walk back into his apartment.

"Give me a minute."

Draco doesn't miss how Harry's face lights up at that.

And when he comes back from his room he sees Harry no longer standing outside in the hallway, but sitting on his couch comfortably, his foot on his knee, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling with closed eyes. 

He really feels at home here, huh.

"Let's go then."

Draco says and walks up to the door. Harry looks down again and up to Draco, seeing the sunglasses and cap on his head. It's November.

"If you want to look unrecognizable why not use an appearence changing spell?"

He asks and quickly stands up to follow Draco out of his apartment.

"Do you really think I have my wand back?"

That's what makes Harry shut up for once. He's been teasing him the whole time now, but offering to do the spell for him might go too far. He doesn't want to seem as if he's rubbing it under his nose, or even reminding him what Draco got stripped away from for an unspecified period of time.

So they walk in silence towards the buzzling city. And Draco once again feels like he's getting stared at, frowned upon on, loathed.

He didn't notice how tense he was until he felt a firm hand on his back.

"Relax. No one is looking at you. Now walk casually if you don't want to raise any attention."

Harry leans in close and whispers into his ear. A chill runs down Draco's spine from Harry's hot breath touching his neck, and his hands clench in his pockets. 

Draco takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a second before looking up. Harry is right, they're not looking at him, they're looking at Harry. 

Wow. How oblivious and blind people can get once they lay their eyes on Harry Potter, to not notice the enemy standing right beside him. 

"Unbelievable how blind one can get when they see you."

He speaks his thoughts out loud and Harry laughs. 

"You could say, I bewitch them to not look at you."

For some reason, this sentence didn't sound how it was supposed to, but Harry doesn't show any reaction as if he didn't notice what he said at all, so Draco hides his blush by looking down again. 

What the hell.

They continue on their way until they reach the shop and begin the grocery shopping. Mainly with Harry pushing the cart and Draco throwing whatever he needs into the cart which contains mostly of food he can cook whenever he wants to, so...like ten different kind of pasta. He really doesn't want to go out grocery shopping and it shows.

"You know. You should get more vegetables and fruit. Get used to going out and grocery shopping. You can't eat pasta the whole time."

Harry says as he frowns at the cart and the twenty packets.

"I surely can."

"Not in the long term. You'll get sick."

Harry conters and looks up at Draco, raising a brow.

"You're not young and thriving forever, you know."

Draco glares at him and turns around to continue his shopping. Harry sighs in defeat, not wanting to ruin his chances on getting Draco to go out any more. He knows how stubborn Draco can get and they're not exactly on best terms yet.

But Harry didn't expect for Draco to give in, really. So he hides his smile and doesn't comment when Draco puts some fruit and vegetables into the cart. Not much, it’s enough for a few days, but it’s a start.

They continue the shopping without addressing the matter, as if it never happened. And Draco couldn't be more grateful.

Chapter Text

Draco almost forgot the anxiety and the judgemental gazes he got his way last time, when doing grocery shopping with Harry. They're not talking much, at all to be honest. But Draco started taking his time looking at the products since Harry is there. He's there with him. He has an eye on Draco and is not leaving his side so he feels some sort of protection though he wouldn't admit it. Maybe he's not really aware of how he feels right now either, but Draco doesn't think that someone might stab a knife into his back because Harry is there to prevent it.

He almost forgot. Yes. But the cashier didn't forget. He sees him. Through his facade and the cap and the sunglasses. He recognizes him and the way his face scrunches up in disgust and anger made Draco flinch and take a step back. 

"You've got some nerve stepping back in here lad, didn't I tell you to leave and never come back?!"

"I- I'm-"

His hands shake, his heart is racing, his blood runs cold as cold sweat starts covering his body. And he's thrown back into the darkness which is eating him alive and the biting cold turning his limbs into a purplish color, afraid that they would fall off if he made a wrong move and-

And a warm an firm hand grabbing his with a back covering the mans face.

Harry.

"Sir, with all due respect I don't think treating Malfoy like that isn't necessary at all."

He's protecting him, publicly.

"Mr.Potter...!"

The man's tone changes immediately from sprouting anger to surprise, "Why would you protect this disgusting death eater?!", he asks confused.

Draco looks down at their hands, at the way Harry's clenches around his and stares at it, not looking up again. Just staring at their hands in a daze.

"Malfoy isn't disgusting nor a death eater. He was merely a kid who was forced and manipulated by his own father to take the mark and bow his head to Voldemort," Harry says calmly, still the only person to this day to say his name without fear, "you may not know Malfoy but I do. We went to the same school and shared classes for seven years, and even if not a single soul on this planet is willing to hear him out and give him a second chance, I will still do it. Because blaming a kid is far worse than blaming the dead in this situation." 

Draco's eyes widen as he listens to him defend him so publicly, other people in the store having paused to listen in on the drama. Harry's anger is perfectly clouded with a calm voice and probably a calm expression, though Draco can't see it with his forehead almost pressed against Harry's back, but the way Harry's hand is clenched and shaking around his own, so hard that it hurts, is clear to only Draco how angry he actually feels. He slowly takes his other hand to wrap it around Harry's, not because the pain isn't tolerable, but to calm him and maybe even comfort him.

Harry immediately relaxes.

When the cashier doesn't respond, stunned in silence, Harry continues to talk. 

"So if you don't mind, we would like to pay and leave."

"Of- of course."

The cashier says in a quiet tone.

The rest passes in silence. No one uttering a word. Not even the other people in the store said or moved until Harry and Draco left the store. And even then, Harry continues to hold his hand and walk him back home. This time, the stares weren't directed to only Harry, but at Draco too. Some curious, probably not recognizing him, some disgusted and shocked, knowing damn well who's hiding under the disguise. 

But Draco doesn't pay them attention right now. His mind is occupied with Harry. 

Why did he do that? What's the purpose? What could he possibly gain from this? They're not even friends, they never were. Harry had placed his judgement the second they talked for the first time and the fate of their relationship was settled from this day on, so why now? Why put all this effort into protecting him? Doesn't he realize and see how it's harming himself?

Even so, Draco doesn't let go of his hand either, he holds onto Harry as firmly as Harry holds him until they reach Dracos's frontdoor. Only then do they slowly let go off each other so Draco can unlock it. They get in, not saying a word, not addressing anything, and if it was completely normal, they sort the groceries away, both minding their own buisness while being hyperly aware of the other's presence. 

Harry leaves out a package of pasta and some cheese, double cream and spices. Without communicating it, they start making the pasta. While Harry cooks the pasta, Draco makes the sauce, not adding too much of the spices and not even twenty minutes later, they sit at the table and eat the food. 

"Y'know, I'm not the only one who's standing behind you."

Draco's head snaps up when Harry breaks the silence suddenly.

"Huh?"

Harry silently looks at his plate, playing with the food before he looks up again.

"Hermione and Ron, I mean. Even though they called me crazy at first, they never hated you. And after explaining myself they came to the realization that I may not be as crazy as they thought I'd be. They're just a little worried because of our past, but they also regularly ask me how you're doing."

Draco stares at him, his eyes wide in shock.

"I'd bet even Ron's family wouldn't judge you, especially his parents. His mum would give you a hug if you were to visit and then serve you with chocolate cake. Of course after the inital shock of Draco Malfoy standing at their door."

Harry giggles at the thought staring into the distance before looking back at Draco. His smile slowly vanishes when he sees that pained expression on his face. As if he truly thought that no one would even dare to step in the same room like him.

"What I want to say is, you're not alone. I'm just the only stubborn arsehole who's pestering you."

Draco scoffs, trying to hide his smile behind his hand as he looks away in embarrassment.

"Did you just laugh at something I said?"

Harry exclaims happily and teasingly.

"You are really annoying."

Harry laughs, throwing his head back. 

The tension is now all gone and forgotten. The events of today now a memory and definitely the headlines for tomorrow. But right now, they enjoy their pasta with the, in Harry's opinion, way too plain sauce. But it's fine. Because for once they can enjoy dinner together with a friendliness they haven't shared ever.

Chapter Text

It's save to say that Harry has been doing nothing but thinking about the latest events. At work, in bed, going out with friends. 

All he thinks about is Draco Draco Draco.

Even while Ginny is breaking up with him. 

"I just don't think we should stay together...it doesn't feel the same anymore and after the whole...you know who situation, I need to focus on other things. A lot of people died...my brother died and-", Ginny sighs, her shoulders slump down, and then she looks down into her cup of tea. "I'm sorry."

Harry looks at her, his eyebrows raised up in surprise. He didn't realize it but he actually feels the same way. Harry blinks and quickly takes her hand in his.

"Hey don't apologize it's totally fine. Honestly I can't blame you. I've been stuck on working and running around, doing erands, barely paying you any attention in a time where you needed me most, so you shouldn't apologize. I should. I hope you can forgive me for being such a poorly boyfriend Ginny, and hopefully we can still be friends...?"

She slowly looks up unsurely and then smiles.

"It's fine Harry, don't worry about it. And yeah...that'd actually be great." 

And so they continue their date as a casual meet up as friends, both feeling like a heavy weight has fallen from their shoulders. 

They later go to the Weasley's and bid their farewell as Harry walks over to the living room, finding his friends. 

"Seriously Hermione at this point you should just move in."

She rolls her eyes and slaps his shoulder before hugging him.

"How are you doing?"

Ron asks him unsurely and Harry figures he knew about the breakup beforehand.

"I'm doing fine. I think being friends with Ginny is better for the both of us."

"She-!"

Harry slaps a hand over Hermione's mouth, her eyes wide open. 

"Yes she broke up with me but it's fine. We both lost our feelings and feel the same way about it."

He removes his hand from her mouth and walks over to the couch, falling down on it.

"Well...okay. At least there isn't any bad blood between the two of you."

She nods and slowly sits down on an armchair, making herself comfortable with a blanket. 

"Yeah. I was worried it would end badly."

Ron says making Harry glare at him.

"Seriously Ron who do you take me for? Do you really think I would start a fight over a break up? I wouldn't force anyone to explain themselves and stay with me ever."

"I didn't mean it like that!" He starts defending himself. "I was worried that you'd still have feelings and would need a break from her and us I guess? Since I'm her brother and all..."

"Oh...no it's not like that. I didn't realize it until she spoke up about it but I think I lost my feelings a while ago already."

Harry throws his head back, resting against the couch and staring at the ceiling. He doesn't notice how Ron and Hermione look at each other.

"Anyway...how's Malfoy doing?"

Hermione changes the topic.

"Oh! He's- well...I hope he's doing well. He won't talk about how he's doing or anything personal really. But he lets me in closer. Even if he's not initiating anything or speaking up about it, he lets me do it." Harry starts explaining, sitting up again and looking into the distance. "I got him to go outside and do grocery shopping with me last time and then we made dinner and ate together. I kind of forced him to buy veggies and fruits too because all he put in the basket was instamt food he could live off of for weeks." He rambles on about Draco, not noticing the glances Hermione and Ron share. 

A notification sound interrupts Harry's rambles and takes out his phone. 

"Oh."

"Who is it?"

Hermione asks as Harry types a reply.

"It's Malfoy. He let me know that he got a new phone since his last one shattered."

“How did he manage that?”

Ron laughs.

“He…uhm…”

Harry looks up from his phone and looks between the two of them.

Ron’s smile dies down and his brows knit together.

“Harry?”

Hermione speaks up after a few second had passed of silence.

“What I say now stays in this room.”

Harry says.

“Now you’re scaring me.”

She says and leans forward.

“What happened?”

“I think he’s having panic attacks.”

No one says anything, all of them waiting for one to speak up, while all of them are scared to say anything at all. 

Harry takes it upon himself to break the silence and explains as vague as possible to not expose Draco too much.

“I told him that if he ever needs anything he can just call me and, well…he did. One time. When he had his panic attack…it was really bad and I assumed he threw his phone against the wall when he realized he had called me in a panic.”

Harry takes a deep breath and rubs his forehead before looking down at his lap, playing with his hands.

“That’s…oh wow. Okay.”

Hermione starts but doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m pretty sure it’s because of his experience in Azkaban, both his parents dying, the way everyone in this world treats him…his life is really a mess right now.”

Ron and Hermione share glances before they both nod. This time Ron speaks up.

“Hey why don’t you try and get Malfoy out?”

“I’m doing that! I try to find excuses to get him out of that apartment.”

Harry explains himself.

“No I meant with us. Taking him out with us. Hanging around. Doing anything. Letting him know and see that it’s not only the mighty Harry Potter who worries about him.”

Harry’s head snaps up as he stares at his friend shocked before he looks at Hermione who’s smiling worriedly.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course we are Harry. We didn’t see it at first, why you’d go such lenghts like that but we do now. And we want to help him get back to his feet. I didn’t know he was doing so bad either. He doesn’t deserve this.”

Hermiones explains and Ron nods in approval. 

Harry just blinks, not believing what he just heard and then laughs.

“Thank you guys. I will talk with him. But don’t get your hopes up. He just came to accept my presence. It will take a while.”

“No rush. We all know Malfoy at this point.”

Ron laughs lightly and pats Harry’s shoulder. 

They converse for a while longer, jumping from topic to topic until night breaks in and they all fall asleep in the living room with the wood tickling in the fireplace, warming up the space.

Chapter Text

"You might as well just add to the rent for the amount of time you come over."

Draco says as he turns his back to the door and leaves it open for Harry. 

"You know that's not a bad idea. I could crash on the couch and my way to work is shorter from here."

Harry says with a laugh and can audibly hear how Draco is rolling his eyes.

"Sure. Whatever makes you happy."

He sits down on the couch, crossing his legs and picks up a book he had been reading apparently before Harry knocked at the door.

The first thing Harry does is checking his fridge and cupboard for food, calculating how long he can live off with it and makes a mental note for things to buy later. 

"Did you have breakfast?"

He asks, raising his voice a little to make sure Malfoy can hear him even though it's an open space. Yet he doesn't get a response so he turns to look at Draco, waiting, but all he does is turning to the next page.

"Malfoy?"

He turns his head to the side and looks at Harry.

"Uhh...no I haven't. But I had a late dinner so it's fine. I'll eat later."

He turns back to his book again and continues reading, nibbling at his lip. 

Harry frowns and thinks for a moment. He did notice that Draco eats way less than Harry does and also that he lost some weight.

"Well. I haven't had any breakfast so I'm gonna do a little something. Mind if you eat with me? You wouldn't want me to eat alone right?"

He puts his hands up in a praying position and asks him childlishly. Draco tries to hide the smile on his face without success but lets him see how he's rolling his eyes.

That's a yes for Harry. 

It takes him about fifteen minutes to get everything ready. All he did was fry some eggs and bacon with toast. He brings the plates over to the couch and sets both of them down before going back to the kitchen and bringing some tea aswell. 

"Thanks."

Malfoy mumbles and Harry pauses but doesn't comment on it. He thanked him. For the first time ever. Harry doesn't care if someone doesn't thank him verbally as long as he can see someones gratitude. But hearing a thank you from Draco's mouth directed towards Harry Potter should be in history books. 

"No worries. Hope you enjoy it."

So they dig in. Harry glances over to him from time to time and notices that Draco seems to enjoy it at least, even though he's a slow eater, he can see his eyes gleaming.

"Where did you learn to cook?"

Draco asks him after some minutes and looks up at Harry with big eyes, waiting for an answer. That's also new progress they made. Draco asking him questions.

"My aunt and uncle took me under their wing, even if not voluntarily, and I was forced to do a lot of things in the house from a very young age, cleaning, laundry, and cooking. Cooking was the only thing I actually enjoyed doing though."

Harry shrugs and takes a bite off his toast.

"Oh..."

At that, Harry glances at Draco and sees him staring down at his plate with a frown, stabbing his bacon with the fork. 

Harry places his plate down and turns to Draco, placing his hand down upon Draco's.

"Hey. The bacon didn't do anything no need to stab it all over again,” he laughs. "Don't worry about my poor childhood. It wasn't as bad as you might think it was. I moved out when I turned eleven anyway. And now I'm eighteen, have great friends, a nice job, and no contact with them at all."

Draco stares at their hands, the way Harry's thumb is mindlessly stroking over the back of his hand before he looks up at Harry. His head is slightly tilted with a soft smile on his lips. The warmth of his hand is almost burning with the intensity Draco is focused it on. Confused, overwhelmed but also comfortable? Which just confuses him even more. Why does he enjoy Harry's warmth out of all people? Maybe it's just because no one had touched him in months. Hugged him or something small as putting their hand on his shoulder. 

He looks down again, feeling warmth creep up his neck and burning his ears and cheeks. The thought of pulling away did cross his mind immediately but somehow his hand is still under Harry's. Not moving. 

"I...I just never realized how privileged my life was. All I was as a kid was an ungrateful snob who was daddys little pet."

Harry squeezes his hand making Draco look up again. The soft smile has vanished from his face, replaced with a frown and his lips pressed into a thin line.

"You may have been rich but honestly, no amount of money and mansions can't compensate the way you were treated by your father and the things you were forced to go through as a child."

Draco's eyes immediately snap down to his forearm, his eyes catching a part of the mark peeking out of his sweater. A hand wraps around his wrist and pulls up the sweater. At the sight of that godforsaken tattoo, Draco looks away to the side. And while his mind is screaming at him to push Harry away, to punch him in the face and scream at him, his heart is racing and pounding so loud he can hear it in his ears. Every touch of him being so intense that his skin is tingling wherever his skin touches him. 

"And this? This is a sign of survival. It's a part of you and your history. You're not evil Malfoy. You're a victim. So yes, you had a rich family, lived in a mansion, and got everything you wanted. But you don't have to be thankful for anything of that after all the abuse and trauma you had to go through. And honestly? The tattoo looks pretty sick. Maybe I should get a snake tattoo aswell?"

Draco's head falls down as he scoffs, trying not to laugh but failing miserably. 

"You totally should. Then we're matching."

"Right! It would look cool as hell. The Harry Potter having a matching tattoo with the Drafo Malfoy, who were once arch enemies."

He can't help but giggle at that making Harry laugh too. 

"You're an idiot."

Draco shakes his head and looks up.

"Maybe I am."

He smiles back, tilting his head thoughfully.

"Thank you."

Harry's brows perk up as he looks back at Draco.

"For being an idiot?"

He jokes.

"For...everything. Thank you for everything you've done for me, though it's still a mystery as to why. I still want to thank you..."

Harry freezes, his mind racing and trying to find the right words to not say anything wrong. He knows that he was a talent to say the wrong thing to him even if he didn't mean to.

"I genuinely mean when I say don’t worry about it. If you think I feel forced to come here everytime then you’re wrong. Actually, when I’m at work I look forward to come here afterwards. Even though sometimes we just sit around and do our own things in silence, it’s still fun.”

The heat creeps up again and Draco changes his sitting position, pulling his knees up to rest his chin on them, all while not letting go of Harry’s hand.

“Don’t you have tons of friends and a girlfriend to hang out with?”

“Well, my friends are also working, some aren’t even in this country anymore, and Ginny and I broke up.”

Draco’s eyes widen slightly now feeling embarrassed.

“Oh I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We actually feel the same way about it and we’re still friends…it’s better this way.”

He can’t help but feel like he’s part of the reason why they broke up. After all, Harry did hang out with him several times for hours. But he quickly brushes that thought away and nods.

Their conversation gets interrupted by a knocking at the door. They both turn to the door, letting go of each other in an instant. Harry looks back at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I took an order it’s probably that. Do you mind taking it for me I don’t want to…”

Draco answers the question Harry didn’t ask verbally but doesn’t finish his sentence. 

“Of course.”

He stands up to take whatever Draco had ordered. Draco waits, watching Harry’s back as he opens the door and thank the guy before taking in a big package.

“You ordered a TV?”

Harry asks, dragging it inside.

“Yeah. Sometimes it’s too silent in here so I thought a TV could fix it.”

Draco stands up and helps Harry drag it into the living room.

“Now we can also watch movies or listen to music instead of reading books and solving crossword puzzles.”

Harry’s mind is stuck on the ‘we’ and smiles.

“Then lets set it up and start with our first movie!”

Chapter Text

"You've never seen Nightmare Before Christmas?!"

Harry asks horrified.

Draco just shakes his head wondering why it's such a big deal.

"The Breakfast Club? Friends? Ghostbusters? Back to the Future? Jurassic Park? The Matrix? Nothing?"

Draco bites his lip as he slowly and unsurely shakes his head at the unfamiliar names. Harry dramatically throws his head back and groans.

"What do you wizards even call a childhood?"

He asks more to himself and Draco can't help but grin at his helplessness.

"Okay you know what? We'll make a quick trip back to my place and get a ton of dvds and also get some records and my record player."

Draco purses his lips and tilts his head.

"If you want to show me some of your music why not do it at your place? You don't have to bring it all to my place."

He pauses and stares at Draco.

"Oh...you're right. I guess I was just so used to be here that it didn't cross my mind that we can hang out at my place too..."

Harry holds his hand out to Draco and waits. Yet he's just staring at his hand and up to Harry confused. Harry rolls his eyes with a smile.

"If you want me to apparate us then hold my hand."

Draco's eyes widen slightly and then turns his head away, blushing in embarrassment. Of course.

"Hold on tight."

He does. Almost crushes his bones as he steps closer unintentionally and closes his eyes. He hasn't come in contact with magic in a while, yet alone apparated somewhere. Draco feels an arm wrap around his shoulders.

"You're fine don't worry."

Harry whispers into his ear and then he feels magic surround him and he clenches his eyes shut even tighter.  But the magic feels gentle and tickling. Comforting and warm. He relaxes slightly and lets out a breath he held in for far too long. The magic dies down and it's silent.

"Malfoy."

He slowly opens his eyes, noticing an unfamiliar space. They've apparated sucessfully and he still has all his body parts. When he notices that he's still holding Harry's hand, he quickly lets go of it and steps back, turning around embarrassed and pretends like he's looking around, which isn't a lie. It's his first time over anyway.

It's a cozy place, old furnitures, a lot made of wood, chandeliers that make this place look almost like a mansion if it wouldn’t look a little worn down. 

“Isn’t this place a little big for someone who lives alone…?”

Draco shakes his head with a small smile.

“It was Sirius’ home. It’s not the best but I…”

Harry sighs, not finishing his sentence. 

Draco doesn’t answer, instead his eyes land on a picture of four people in a picture, three men and a woman, one of them looks just like Harry and the woman has exactly his eyes. His parents, Draco figures. The other two are unmistakably Sirius and Remus. He finds other pictures, with more people which seems like friends. Severus Snape and Peter Pettigrew. The Marauders, Draco remembers.

“It looks like they had a blast as teenagers.”

He decides to say, turning it to a more positive direction. Harry smiles softly, looking at the pictures now aswell, slowly stepping beside Draco.

“Yeah…seems like it. I’m glad.”

Draco slowly turns to Harry, seeing the sorrow but also the peace behind his eyes. Acceptance is hard, loosing people one after another, especially when someone dies right in front of you and you can’t do anything to prevent it. He doesn’t know how Harry is holding onto life like he does right now. But he can see the pain, the way it broke something inside him, something that can hardly be repaired again. Just laying there, in shambles, until it’s collecting dust and forgotten by everyone expect for you.

So the only thing you can do is to accept and keep going, even if that one piece inside you is an unsolvable puzzle made of glass; try to solve it and you cut yourself on the shards.

“At least the nightmare is over and no one has to die anymore…even if you lost your family, you found a new one in Granger and the Weasley’s.”

Draco tries to find something to say.

“And you got me now.”

Harry replies, looking back at him. 

“I hope you know you’re not alone.”

Draco’s eyes widen slightly in surprise, not knowing how to reply to that. He never really had friends and everyone that survived moved on and didn’t keep in contact with him, especially since he was in Azkaban and there was no way to keep in contact anyway, and then his parents died, the only people in his life that were left. Now Harry, the one he hated the most in school, stands here in his own house and tells him that Draco is his family. 

He looks down and rubs his neck, laughing nervously.

“Don’t be ridiculous Potter…the whole wizarding world would be devastated if they find out that…you’re friends with me.”

He says, not even daring to say the word family out loud, too scared of the thought.

Harry turns his body to him and places a hand on his shoulder.

“For the love of god Malfoy, since when do I care what people have to say about me? I’ve been out in public with you already, I defended you and held you. People gossip left an right and forget it the next week again. And even if they don’t, I don’t reach out for fame and money. I just reach out for what makes me happy. Even if that means calling you family.”

Now he has said it out loud. Family. Draco has someone to call family. He doesn’t notice the tear falling down his cheek until  Harry wipes it away with his thumb, cupping his cheek before engulfing him in a hug. Draco freezes, just staring ahead over his shoulder. He slowly raises his arms and hugs him back, placing his hands on his shoulder blades before burrying his face in his neck, hiding his tears and the sound of his sobs. The loss of everyone hitting him only now. All the deaths by his doings or not, his parents, his friends, it all hits at once and he just breaks in the warmth of Harry’s hug. A hug he hasn’t received in a while, if at all. A touch, completely different to how the dementors hurt him. It feels good, almost like a dream.

And Harry doesn’t say anything, just hugs him tighter, closer, burrying his hand in his hair to hold him in place, as if it was second nature. Draco’s legs give out and Harry slowly sits down on the ground with him, getting on his knees, Draco between his legs, powerless against him as all the grief breaks free like a dam.

He doesn’t know how long it takes for him to calm down, but when he does he pulls back and looks down in shame.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break down like that.”

He laughs without any humor and wipes his face dry.

“Hey don’t apologize. It’s totally justified. You really didn’t want to see me when all the grief suddenly hit me on a random thursday afternoon. I was a wreck.”

Harry jokes.

Draco laughs.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh.”

“It’s fine. That’s how I know you. Good ol’ Draco Malfoy.”

Draco smiles, still not meeting Harry’s eyes. He clears his throat and rubs his neck.

“Wanna show me the records of yours now? I think we’ve wasted enough time already.”

“Good idea.”

Harry replies, taking one good look at Draco, making sure he’s alright, before he stands up and hold his hand out for Draco to take.