Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting long shadows through the trees. autumn leaves crunched underfoot as the pair made their way deeper into the ever darkening forest. 

streber remembered how, as a kid, he used to run around for hours. leaves would get tangled in his long hair, and he’d come home with cuts and scrapes and bruises from being less than wary of his surroundings. it was so much fun. and as he breathed in the sharp, cool november air, he didn’t quite remember why he stopped. 

“takes you back, right?” radford’s voice filtered through the quiet chatter of nocturnal animals waking up to greet the night. streber was glad the forest wasn’t silent; he knew all too well what that would mean. “playing in the forest, i mean. rob and i used to come out here a lot.” 

streber glanced around the bare trees, noting the stripped-away bark on a few. some of the rubs looked fresh, as if there was a buck nearby. or, maybe it wasn’t a buck at all…he shook himself out of his thoughts. surely it wasn’t a sign of the monster. “yeah?” he asked instead, turning to radford and immediately regretting that decision. the setting sun caught his hair just so, and it almost seemed to shimmer golden. kevin, streber had to remind himself, kevin. “what’d you do out here?”

“well, we built fort hannigan, for starters,” radford explained, combing his unruly curls out of his face. “we were both dealing with the move in our own ways and, even though it became ‘his’ spot, it started out more as mine. i didn’t like john’s, so rob and i would hang out until he called us in for dinner.” radford turned his gaze to the dead leaves at his feet. “if he even did.” 

streber nodded slowly, somewhat understanding radford’s plight. even though he didn’t have that exact experience, he would often have to go nights without dinner at his parents’ place. not so much when he was little, but when it turned out that him hacking off his hair with safety scissors and tearing his dresses to shreds whenever he was forced into them wasn’t a phase, well. but he knew all that already. and he didn’t want to think about it. “i used to play out here, too. funny we never ran into each other.” 

“well, if i know you, and by now i think i do,” radford chuckled, elbowing streber in the side, “i’d say you weren’t looking to run into anybody. even back before you were an angsty teenager.”

“oh, come on.” streber rolled his eyes and shoved radford right back. “i’m not that angsty.” 

“your wardrobe pretty much consists of black, black, and black. oh, and the occasional red.” radford gestured at streber’s current outfit, which consisted of a black jacket, black shirt, and dark blue jeans, which streber guessed didn’t count to radford’s assessment. “not that i hate it, or anything. i think it’s cool.” 

yet radford seemed to stop short of what he really wanted to say. streber’s suspicions were confirmed when he looked up to find his friend’s lips pursed and brows furrowed. “...but?”

“i guess i’m glad to see you dressing more like yourself again?” radford rubbed the arm of his worn, flannel-lined jacket. “for a while there, you were dressing like someone else.” 

was radford talking about the new clothes streber had gotten a little while back? that shopping spree he’d gone on with julian a few weeks before? “what’s wrong with branching out?” he asked, raising an accusatory eyebrow. he watched as radford’s adam’s apple bobbed, a telltale sign that streber was right in his assumption. he sighed, stopping abruptly on their makeshift path and kicking up leaves. “is this about kevin again?” 

“maybe it is,” radford mumbled, folding his arms and shifting from foot to foot. “and so what? i’m just…being honest.” 

streber pursed his lips, trying not to let himself get too upset. radford was dealing with a lot of shit right now, and he knew it, but this was ridiculous. 

“y’know, i never did tell you, but that’s why i took those pictures of you,” radford said. his arms tightened to almost hug himself. “you were trying so hard to be someone else. but for a moment, i guess…you thought you were alone, and you could be yourself. just for a moment.” 

bullshit. “that’s such bullshit,” streber hissed, echoing his thoughts as he stepped closer to who he thought was his friend. “you just took those pictures to get your rocks off. you’re…ugh.” he jerked a black-polished thumb at his chest, where his heart was thumping out of control against his ribcage. “i am not trying to be anyone else. i’ve dealt with everyone telling me who i should and shouldn’t be since i was younger, but now that i’m actually making decisions for myself, you think-” 

“what?” radford’s eyes widened. “whoa, whoa, hey-”

sure he was about to hear more bullshit about how that wasn’t what radford had meant, streber huffed and started walking again, crushing the leaves harshly under his boots. soon enough, another set of footsteps accompanied his as radford dragged his old converse along behind him. but streber was far from done, his neck growing hot in shame. “i mean, seriously, all this because you don’t like who i’m dating? as if it’s any of your business.” 

radford groaned. “just forget it,” he said wearily from behind him. “i just thought it was a good picture.”

that made streber stop walking again; this time, though, he felt so much anger welling inside that he couldn’t bear to face him. “yeah, i’m sure you say that about the playboys under your bed, too,” streber snapped. “just because it was a good picture doesn’t mean it was okay to take it.” he remembered just how vulnerable he’d already felt in that moment. in his underwear in front of the one person who might be able to understand. the one person who found him beautiful in the right way. so what if he hadn’t helped him out after. so what if streber went to bed that night and sobbed his eyes out. he swallowed hard as he finally felt the chilly wind blowing through the woods, as if he was naked right then. he pulled the jacket tighter around himself. he should’ve cancelled this whole thing. he should’ve taken kevin up on seeing ‘all the right moves.’ “i’m…i’m really sorry kevin broke your camera. but he had every right to be pissed, and so do i.” 

“okay, okay,” radford replied, letting out a long, exasperated sigh. “i get it. i fucked up. whatever. that doesn’t mean i have to like him.”

whipping back around, streber threw up his hands. if radford was tired of this, then streber must have been exhausted. he really didn’t want to be anywhere near this guy right now. “you know, i was actually starting to think that you were okay.” 

“that i was ‘okay’?” radford scoffed. “what’s that mean?”

“i was thinking, ‘radford hannigan, maybe he’s not the socially inept creep everyone says he is.’” streber stalked off into the leaves again. “but i guess i was fucking wrong.” 

and what radford said next was just barely audible over the sounds of streber’s boots, the sounds of the forest. but when he did, he wished he hadn’t heard it at all. “i guess we both were.”

as the sun disappeared below the horizon, casting the forest in complete darkness, streber continued walking, his head down and focused on the patterns of the leaves before he crushed them. radford had since caught up, flashlight bouncing around from tree to tree, but streber didn’t want to look up lest he have to face him again. really, he didn’t know what to think about their argument, and frankly he wished he hadn’t even opened his mouth in the first place. to argue or even talk about kevin felt so futile, and he couldn’t deny that. inside, though, he knew he wasn’t defending kevin. 

everything since that night had felt so…weird. and it wasn’t just because of julian’s disappearance, no, it was because he felt like a part of him had disappeared with them. and, really, it had been all his fault. 

radford was right, and he hated it. 

he dragged his sleeve over his eyes to catch any tears that had managed to spill and was about to pick up the pace when he felt radford’s hand on his other arm. streber winced and ripped his arm away, about to just give up and walk off again. 

“hey, shhh, stop.” radford’s hand dropped back to his side, although he walked in front of streber to block him. “do you hear that?” 

streber took a few steps backward, still not meeting the other’s eyes, but kept an ear out. sure enough, he soon heard a soft, pained keening from nearby. he frowned and crept carefully, following the sound through the trees and towards the soft hum of cars on the road. had they really come out on the other side of the woods? 

streber clicked on his flashlight as well and aimed it directly ahead, where the sound was coming from…

and found the buck, likely the one whose rubs they’d seen earlier, collapsed in the leaves. it almost looked stunned, its broken body trying and failing to move. streber frowned and stepped closer. the whimpers continued as streber’s flashlight roamed, trying to see if maybe there were any other signifiers that the culprit had been anything other than human, but…no. “dammit. looks like it got hit by a car.” he looked up at radford, his hand pressed over the gun in his pocket. “we can’t just leave it here.” 

radford swallowed hard, holding out a hand. “i can do it, um…if you don’t want to.” 

“no, rad, don’t…don’t worry about it.” streber cocked the gun with a shaky hand, aiming it towards the poor creature…

…before it was abruptly yanked away. 

the bullet found a home in bloodied dirt as radford lurched forward. “what was that?” he cried, beating streber to the punch as he raced ahead. whatever had snatched the poor buck had dragged it along, leaving quite a trail of blood and viscera behind. streber felt the contents of his stomach sour as he followed the trail…or, what was left of it. “dammit,” radford swore, once he saw the trail ended. he looked back up at streber. “do you think we should split up?”

streber barely heard him, too busy staring at exactly where the blood trail ended: at the base of a random tree. he walked closer, skirting the trunk and finding absolutely nothing. no evidence of an underground den, no carcass, just bloodied leaves. he crouched down next to the trail so his pants didn’t get stained; surely whatever house he chose to go back to tonight wouldn’t be thrilled to see him covered in blood. “why do you think it stops here?” he asked, looking up towards radford…who wasn’t there anymore. “radford?” he called. no answer. “great, leave me alone in the dark,” he mumbled to himself before turning his attention from the trail to the tree, which, now that he looked at it again, had a strange, yawning maw of a knothole in the bottom. when he used to play in the woods, he loved to crawl into the little caves in those trees. they were just the right size to curl up in, like they were made for him. a second home.

but this cave wasn’t so much a cave as, well, he wasn’t sure what to compare it to. he reached out a hand to touch it, yanking it away again when the tree made an audible squelch beneath his fingers - almost like a membrane of some kind. which meant there must have been something on the other side. sucking in a deep breath and mentally preparing himself for that disgusting feeling to multiply tenfold, he crawled into the opening in the tree…

…only to come back out on the other side. confused, he stood back up and looked around the woods he’d come back out in. they seemed quite a bit darker now, not like the sun had set but moreso that it didn’t exist at all. he looked upward for a bit of a guiding light in the form of the moon and stars and only found odd, gloomy clouds above. feeling an odd turning in his gut, he tried to point his flashlight around, at least to survey the area a little more, just to watch it flicker back out. he furrowed his eyebrows and shook it, before flicking it on and off.

after a few moments, the light stabilized, revealing the forest floor. this strange new forest was covered in vines that glistened in the glow of the flashlight, and he stepped carefully over them as he traversed further along. he caught sight of the continuing blood trail and hurried after it, bracing himself for what he might find. 

all of a sudden, his foot caught on a vine and sent him stumbling and swearing down an incline. he tried to grab for a hold, but before he knew it he’d landed so hard at the bottom, he knew there’d be an ugly, green bruise on his chin the next day. if he was lucky, that would be his only injury. his flashlight was next, landing with a horribly loud, echoing clatter in front of him. as he regained feeling and spatial awareness in his limbs, he began crawling forward to grab his light back until he saw where it was pointing. 

and the moment he did, he once again wished he’d gone to that movie.

Chapter Text

it was indescribable. 

the hulking beast let out a low growl as it dropped its meal, the buck whose antlers could no longer gore nor fight. they were the only things that remained of the deer, the only evidence that that was what the pile of flesh and blood once was. 

and streber knew that if he didn’t do something, didn’t fight or flee, he’d end up just like that. 

he watched the beast’s spindly fingers as it lumbered closer, in no rush, and honestly, seeming unsure; regardless, streber’s heart thumped harder against his ribcage. in tandem, his flashlight flickered uselessly on the ground…and then, with a flash of finality, it went out. 

and then he was truly alone, his lungs gasping for more of this strange air as he stood in front of the monster in the dark. it had no face, and now it had no body, and now he had no idea where it was. 

the ground squelched, and he stood completely still until he heard the otherworldly chittering next to his ear and shoved it away with as much force as his shaking hands could muster, and claws raked at his arms just before he bolted. 

it took a fair amount of scrambling to get up the steep incline that was the hill he’d tumbled down earlier, and he could hear the monster hot on his trail. an ear-piercing shriek rang out, nearly causing streber to tumble back down the way he’d come as he lost his footing. but he found it again just as quickly and dragged himself up and over the ridge. he had the high ground now, at least, but not for long. he needed to get out of there, but without his flashlight, he had no way of knowing where he was going, nor where had he been. 

streber’s gaze darted from silhouette to silhouette, but all the trees looked exactly the same to him - and the monster was gaining. panic set in as he heard its claws scrabbling at the hillside. 

but then he heard something else. 

it was far off, only a mere echo, yet he still heard it. 

“streber?”

radford.

streber felt his heart beat faster against his will when he heard his friend’s call. he hadn’t left him behind to die. he was going to help him. he cared, unlike…

”streber, where are you?”

”radford?” the monster let out another loud shriek and streber hurried away from it, in the direction of radford’s voice. “radford, keep talking!”

“streber!”

by now, streber’s face was wet with tears that he hadn’t even realized were falling. his face was cold as he ran in the dark forest. he stumbled over the same vines but took care not to fall, knowing that if he faltered for even a second, it might be his last. 

“streber, i’m right here!”

streber leaned against what he had to assume was a tree, despite the sliminess of the bark. his eyes still hadn’t adjusted to the darkness, and though he tried, he couldn’t see the monster anywhere - he could only hear it continue its rampage as he waited for radford to call again.

”streber, follow my voice!” 

streber whipped around; radford’s voice had come from right behind him, but, as expected, his familiar face and sunny hair was nowhere to be found. 

and then, when he thought that things couldn’t possibly get worse…something brushed against his leg.

he stifled a scream, trying not to alert the monster of his location again, and jerked away from the tree with a hand clamped tightly over his mouth. 

“streber, grab my hand, okay? i’ll get you out of there!”

a wave of relief crashed over streber…but he had to wonder, what if it was a trick? this world seemed to be a direct copy of their own, at least when streber had had his flashlight - what if it had cloned radford’s voice just as it had the woods?

then again…the monster behind him, with the ever-sharp claws…

streber knelt down next to the tree, the ground dampening and even sticking to the knees of his jeans. with a wince, streber crawled closer to the tree and reached out his shaky hand, and soon, a familiar, warm - at least compared to this plane - hand gripped streber’s tightly, nearly swallowing it, and started to pull him back through the membrane. 

streber barely had enough time to see the panicked, yet relieved, expression on radford’s face before he collapsed in his arms, stinging and aching and so, so terrified.

”i’ve got you, streber. i’ve got you.”

streber buried his face in radford’s chest, his face wet with tears and sweat as he embraced the comfort, although it could only be the cold sort because there was no doubt in his mind now.

that thing took his friend.

and it almost had taken him, too.

...

the shower was a welcome change of pace, streber thought to himself as he stood, just stood, under the piping hot water. 

but it was only the cleansing heat that brought him comfort. that, and the light fixture that flickered on occasion above the vanity. he was all too aware of how alone he was, how vulnerable he was. he was half expecting the locked door to splinter in mere moments as the monster ran through it, ready to finish the job. he could still see it in his mind’s eye, in the dank hellscape parallel to his own.

he was lucky he’d only suffered muck, bruises, and those stinging scratches across his arms that were somehow still bleeding. 

yet, that notion wasn’t enough to save him the post-traumatic stress as the monster’s soulless lack of a face stared at him no matter where he looked. 

he pressed hands tightly over his eyes before shutting off the water. as much as he tried to clean himself, he wouldn’t be able to wash away the last few days. 

after drying off and getting dressed in some clean, dry clothes, he scurried down the hall to the guest room, not wanting to stay out in the open too long - dare he say, fearing it. he opened and shut the door quietly, finding radford already spread out on the floor, laying atop a simple blanket he’d probably found in the closet. when he heard streber come in, though, he scrambled into a sitting position, fidgeting with his hands. 

“hey,” radford said, his tone gentle. “are you feeling better?”

streber was too exhausted to lie, lifting his shoulders in a shrug as he sat on the edge of the mattress. 

radford pressed his lips together in a worried line before looking down at his setup on the floor. “um…this is okay, right?” he asked, gesturing to his makeshift bed. “i can just go home if not, but…i figured you-“

”yeah,” streber interrupted, sighing as he looked at the mess of blankets. they weren’t his, so he wasn’t sure why radford was bothering to ask. “i don’t want to be alone, rad.”

radford’s lips twitched, almost like they were afraid to smile, as a small, breathless chuckle fell from his lips. “neither do i, heh…”

streber was about to lay down when he heard a soft knock at the door. a quick glance at the clock on his wall told him, again, that it was way too late for any of the lacostas to be up - which also meant he must have woken them. dammit. 

“sweetie, are you still up?” june’s voice came through the door, tired yet worried. 

streber cringed at the sweetness, the patience. things he wasn’t used to by any means. “yeah.”

“are you decent?”

streber exchanged a glance with radford, who just nodded and ducked on the other side of the guest bed. “yeah,” he cleared his throat. “um, i am.”

the doorknob twisted, and june poked her head inside the guest room. her hair was messier than usual, curling upwards where it hit her shoulders. she must have been sleeping and streber envied her. “i’m sorry,” she apologized, first and foremost, “if i’m intruding. i’ve just been a little worried about you.”

”it’s okay.” wow, did streber’s throat tighten at that. with the croak plaguing his voice, he sounded like a frog. “it’s…it’s fine.”

 “i know today was…well, a lot. so don’t be shy, okay?” she told him as if it should have been as easy as breathing. “let me know if you need anything.”

streber felt his shoulders shake. june was too kind. “okay.” he sucked in a breath, trying not to cry in front of her, but it was so hard to act like this was anything even moderately normal. “thank you.”

“anytime.” june started to close the door. “i mean anytime, sweetheart.”

streber’s voice wavered. ”i know.”

june’s gaze fell on the blanket setup on the floor and remained there for a long while before she offered streber another one of those soft smiles and closed the door the rest of the way.

streber laid down promptly, staring at the wall, listening to the sounds of the crickets outside. they weren’t scared of what lurked out there because it wasn’t after them. and what a happy time for them. their song felt more taunting than anything as he remembered how cold that world had been, how his cuts stung in the wind as he ran against it. 

the monster’s lack of a face.

”can you just come up here?” he asked radford before he realized what he was saying, and moments later radford scrambled off the floor, whether out of excitement or fear streber didn’t care. he was too exhausted, too…addled. june certainly hadn’t helped, but that wasn’t her fault. she was just trying to love him as she thought he deserved. 

but god did he not. he covered himself with the blanket out of shame and fear, but it melted away the moment radford tucked the quilt beneath the other pillow and settled on top of it. a gentleman. he wasn’t trying to do anything. 

he’d been just as scared. 

radford’s body remained stiff, parallel to streber, and after a few minutes of listening to one another’s breathing, he finally spoke up over the cricket’s chorus. “do you…want to keep the lights on?”

streber nodded, his choppy hair rustling against the pillow. 

“yeah.” radford shifted so he was on his side, not to get closer but just to…well, what? streber wasn’t sure. but with radford watching him, for some reason, he wondered if it might be okay. “it can’t get us in here,” radford reassured, although it sounded more like he was reassuring himself. 

but it didn’t reassure streber. instead, that fear only reared its head once again. “we don’t know that.”

“then i’ll make sure of it.”

it was an empty promise, and streber was well aware. how could he make such a promise when they barely knew anything about the monster, much less the world it came from? 

and yet, under radford’s gaze, he felt safe. his body began to relax naturally into the mattress as he laid there, clutching the quilt for dear life. 

for now, maybe things would be okay. 

but only maybe.