Work Text:
“…….La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la………”
Ava had never heard that song. She’d certainly never set it as her alarm on her phone for the morning. It was loud and a chorus of voices all coming together to make one sound. A creepy, if not harmonic, sound, that is, she had to say with her limited music knowledge. Her dads knew a lot better.
She went to get up out of her bed, to turn the blasted music off before she got nightmares from it, but when she opened her eyes, she was in her bed…. In a dark room?
In front of her, the start of a scene. One she didn’t know yet, but felt familiar deep down inside.
“Hello. I am the Amazing Karnak. This is not a boast but rather what it says on my legal patent as a precognition machine.”
Ava had to squint to see where this sound was coming from. Unlike the chorus of La’s, she found it. It was a man. In a box. With a stretched out name, just as he’d announced at the top of his box.
Karnak.
The name was nothing to her, but it felt more powerful than the booming voice that was eating away at all her senses.
“I was designed to predict the exact cause, time, and place of someone's death. A rather morbid function, I grant you; which is precisely why I was set on "family fun novelty mode" when sold to the Wonderville traveling fairground”
Death?
Was she dead?
She went to sleep and now… she was here. But she couldn’t be dead. She was a teenager! Teenagers didn’t die in their sleep unless something was wrong with them medically. And she was- as her dad always called her- healthy as a кінь.
She wasn’t at a fairground anyway. In fact she was never allowed to go to the fair because of her dads and the…..
Holy shit.
This was it, was’t it?
The moment her dads told her and the twins about. Where they rode a rollercaoster, died, and went to some afterlife for a bit…..
She never thought they were lying, but seeing it made it a lot more real.
“... Turns out... being told the place and time ofyour death in front of your family, with a mouthful of corndog at a fairground, isthe very opposite of fun.”
She scoffed as she moved a pillow from her bed to her lap, hugging it loosely. No shit sherlock.
“I can even predict my own demise. I always could….tonight in this warehouse, in a little over an hour. Meet my executioner, a rat I've named Virgil. For the last two years, Virgil has been steadily chewing on my power cable. In a little over an hour, Virgil shall chew his way through the rubber, biting down on two hundred volts of electricity... instantly killing us both.”
She always assumed she wasn’t allowed to get a pet rat because her papa was a big baby. But maybe it went deeper. Just like the reason they didn’t go to the fair was. Maybe the question alone during her rat phase used to make them sick.
She felt horrible, but she kept listening. Even if it was kitchy and weird at all turns.
“As there is nothing more base than death, I've decided for tonight's concert, Virgil shall play the bass.”
The rat, Virigl he’d named it, started to play the bass. But rats couldn’t do that! Not normally, at least.
It wasn’t just premonitions of death.
It was like…. magic.
And she was here to watch it all in what had to be a form of magic, too.
She couldn’t help but even applaud when Virigl finished his little bass solo. Very funky. Very fresh. Very peculiar but she was going along with it, so why not show some love for the murderous rat? Her bad- future murderous rat.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Saint Cassian Chamber
Choir of Uranium City, Saskatchewan….”
Before she could even blink, she was met with another scene before her eyes.
Her dads were there. She spotted them first, even if they weren’t in the front. They’d hardly even changed except for some aging.
Her Papa, Noel, stood tall and proud. He always did say how much he loved singing and choir. Always sang to her, still sang in the car and in the shower, even when doing chores.
She wondered if he missed performing. He looked so good at it. So… confident. Something she knew he seldom had as a teen.
Then there was her dad. Her lovely тато, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else on Earth. She couldn’t help but laugh. Even his uniform was half assed, with no tie, untied shoelaces, and a backwards cap she swore she’d seen hanging in the back of her dad’s closet once. That was him alright.
Although she knew her dad could sing. Loved singing to her as a baby with all the songs he’d learned from his mother. He just must hate-
“Greetings, dear adjusticators!” Ocean’s voice cut in.
Auntie Ocean.
She knew they weren’t always one big happy choir family, and to this day, the pair still pretended to hate each other. This is probably the start of that. The Cyclone, the scene she was seeing, was probably the precipice that pushed them over. She never knew when, but she's not shocked to see it was something like death that brought them all together.
Ocean looked the same as well, except for the fact that her hair was a bit shorter now, and she'd aged as well. He still wore the same shoes. Still wore the same headband. She swore she even wore the same lip gloss.
Ocean hated change. I've always known that, but she didn't know to what extent until now. It was a bit freaky.
Then she looked to her side and so Constance there. She spoke up, doing her best to convey the song they were about to perform. Something about The Lion King was involved? She was too busy focused on the fact that her auntie Constance used to have purple hair.
How freaking mad Wicked awesome is that?!
She always loved her auntie Constance, always would, but this just added to how cool she thought she was. She even wondered if her cousins knew, Auntie Constance’s kids. They had to. Right? Although she was sure shocked, she didn't.
Behind Constance, she saw her Uncle Ricky. She’d have known him anywhere and missed him every day. Even if he died when she was like almost four, he was her favorite, and she still slept with the stuffy toy cat he gave her.
She dug around for kiki and found her in her well-loved glory. She was crusty and missing some whiskers, but the rainbow cat was everything. And she added it to her watch-and-hug pile. It felt warmer with it instantly. And she was smiling, not crying, when she saw him all over again.
One person she didn’t see, she surely missed, though, was her aunt Penny. Where was she? She didn’t see her, but she knew she was there! She knew she had to be! Just… not visible? For what reason?
The choir was all singing now. She heard the jovial beat play through the air, but had to admit, she heard no Lion King inspiration in any of the beats. Still, it was nice enough. About the fair. Some more into it than others, of course. Her dad was even on his old-school phone the whole time. Talk about commitment to a performance, she had to laugh again.
Until the song turned around, and suddenly she was mesmerized by the lights and the way their bodies moved. The whole thing changed up. And they were singing about the crash.
She was so enthralled in the words until….
Her dads weren’t together yet… right?
That’s what she was always told to know. Yet as she watched them go off into a dance, she saw her dads dancing together. Together together. Like lovers would. Or at least couples would.
It made her smile like chesire cat to see her dads intuition so in love before even they were. Like a subconsious calling to be one. To be what she knew them as now, still in love and only thriving and growing in their love.
They danced, ina. circle, spinning and stepping like a dream. In her dream. Kismit.
Then it stopped, and eventually the song did too.
And they were just…. there.
Like they were themselves again, in total control and awareness.
Noel grabbed for her dad, and her dad shook him off. Noel looked so guilty. But clearly so in love already. At least one of them was. It made her sad, but she knew her dad loved him more than anything now, so she supposed it was more ironic than anything else.
After a short time, in a horrifying discovery, the mystery contestant was revealed. Jane Doe. Had to be Penny. She knew that doll was hers. She knew she wore lacy tops all the time. Knew she had to have been there.
But… nobody else seemed to know it was her? That was the strange part. Even she could tell, how couldn’t they? It looked like she could use someone to know, but it wasn’t like Ava could just shout it out to them and let them know that she was insanely important to them one day. Insanely sweet and loving. Her Auntie Penny, without a head. Creepy, but honestly? More sad.
Nobody seemed to like her. Creeped out. Taken aback. She got that, but still…. she’d hug her. She’d at least like to think. She was still human. Sure, her papa wasn’t big on hugs from anyone outside the family, and her dad didn’t even take a hug from Noel, but still. They’d have hugged Penny if it were now. A million times over.
Then something popped up, like a game mode? That one was all Auntie Ocean’s fault.
And after a bit of torture from her.
A song?
She was not expecting a full-out song right off the bat, but sure, go for it. And making everyone else go along? Nice touch, Karnak, nice touch.
It was quick to tell that the Ocean her parents hated was more than present and worthy of such hate as the song went on. She was saying horrible things about everyone, her dad included. She especially scowled at the homophobia and xenophobia. And ableism towards Ricky. Fatphobia towards constance. Maybe she scowled at it all. It was a trainwreck.
Her dad would never steal hubcaps. Maybe booze when he ws young. But not for the sake of being a criminal. And her dad did “breed”. Had the three best kids ever, thank you very much.
Fuck this version of her.
She watched as her dads lifted her up, and she waited for more harm to come, but it was mostly just harmonizing until the freaking pyramid.
She had to say, though, that the worst line was about her Auntie Constance. So she was glad when her dad brought it up to her. Doormat-Constance was just sad. She was glad her dad cared.
The next thing that was brought to her attention was Ocean conceding by accident. She let out a loud cackle. That was funny.
Next was… her dad?
He walked over and did the same as Ocean, pulling the lever and having things flash around before them as Karnak spoke it all. She knew most of it. The ferrisu wheel, the whole only gay kid for most of his life, the lack of money he had.
She even knew about the Taco Bell job. It was super off limits to Noel and he would glare at you. But she still knew it.
The photo was kinda funny… but don’t tell her dad she laughed.
He got his song next, she assumed.
What she was not expecting was a costume change.
He ripped his shirt off, then his pants, and she was just grateful he wasn’t naked under it all.
Then… a cute black bob wig gifted by her dad?
Okay……
Suddenly, he spoke and she connected the dots.
This was the infamous Monqiue character, embodied by him- in song form! And evidently in post-war France, too.
Her dad’s legs, long in their stockings, started to move around, choreography as smooth as jelly as he took to it instantly. Like he was born for this. It looked so freeing for him.
For that alone, she loved it.
But there was more to appreciate, too. Like her dad’s creativity. He always made up stories for her as a little kid. He was a professional writer of books that she was “too young to read”. He wrote her dad a new love poem once a week at least.
That Monqiue- and her Papa- were badass!
She always considered her dad to be the badass one between them, but this Monique version of her dad could kill with just a look. You know, if those ten stabs didn’t do the trick.
He sang like the silk of his chemise, and the height of the chorus ended just for someone to come out of the shadows, delivering a rose….
Her dad!
Yes!
Go team Nisha family!
She’d named them a while ago as a joke, but it felt fitting. She was one of their biggest supporters, of course, being their daughter. She swore she taught them how to love beyond anything else.
Her dad was wearing a beret and a face she could only describe as sultry. She watched as he wooed her papa, or Monique, and she took the rose. Nice, until it pricked him and he gasped.
Then she gasped.
She was not expecting her Papa to slap her dad, and she certainly wasn’t expecting them to start making out like hungry wolves.
It almost felt too sexual to watch. Too intimate. But then, it was over before she could decide to look away or not.
Her dad was wrapping his arms around him, one heavy hand at his heart, beating out his chest, pressed against him. Whispering something about being in love with him.
If only he knew.
She watched it end, a slap to the ass and some money thrown in the air that made even her, as a watcher, feel dirty and used.
The song continued with some catchy choreography, impressive singing, and one final moment before it all came to a close.
She almost clapped, but it felt weird to. Instead, she just hugged her stuff closer and continued to watch it all. Like her dad reentering the realm of reality… or close to it. Whatever this was.
Then Noel eyed Misha, and she froze too.
“That…was…”
She winced as she hoped not to be disappointed in her dad.
“Dope!”
She sighed with relief. She loved her dad. God, she loved her dad. An ally to her Papa’s feminine side til the very end, from day one and forever. She saw it her whole life, and she was glad she could say she’d never see any less.
She felt herself blushing, like she was her dad in the moment, and she was experiencing love as it started. Like your heart in motion. Like something was blooming for the first time that would stay forever.
Her papa looked so happy, and even Ricky got some props.
Then Constance brought up the elephant in the room.
Yes, two boys did indeed kiss.
Those two boys were her dads, thank you very much.
And no, there was nothing wrong with it. Not that that's what Auntie Constance was saying, though. She was more like hypnotized by them; intrigued. Loving, not hating. And to this day, she was still a huge supporter, so she couldn't knock her too much. And she wanted to see her dad's reaction, too! Like, was he really controlling that kiss? Were their butterflies in his tummy already?
She'd heard about Talya a few times, here and beyond, but finding out about her at all was its own thing. That was quite the experience. That was a story for another time, however.
Right now, she had to think of her as a factor in an equation, not some long-lost love of her dad’s.
If Misha was seeing Talya, was he cheating on her by kissing Noel? Could you even cheat when you're dead? No. Besides, she had to root for it, or else you wouldn't even be here! On Earth, or wherever this was. She thought it was said to be a warehouse? Yeah, that looked and sounded right.
"What?" he scoffed, feeling eyed and called out by everyone. "In my country, it is normal for two men to show affection by kissing," he explained. Then he coughed very pointedly. "Not always in heels, but..."
She saw the way her dad's eyes lingered. He definitely already had some feelings.
She also saw how happy her Papa was as he moved to clean stuff up. The smirk and the sway in the hips. It was safe to assume, between that and everything else she'd ever heard and seen, that he was deep in his own feelings for the boy, too.
When it came to dissecting Misha, there was another factor she could analyze. She was Ukrainian, after all. She might have lived in Canada her whole life, but she knew enough. She knew that wasn't normal. She knew that was gay.
And so was her dad.
Very, very gay for her Papa, even now, in this weird purgatory.
Maybe even where it all began... maybe where things moved together so she wouldn't even exist without it. Whoa. Big thoughts for a dream, Ava. She'd probably wake up more exhausted than when she fell asleep. Good thing it was a weekend.
Her Papa disappeared, and Constance somehow ended up bringing up the kiss again.
Misha was sitting this time, even more offended. Or caught off guard.
He defended his position as the kisser and explained to them that he wasn't homophobic just because he was in the rap game. They stared at him like they had just learned something new, but sometimes she wondered how nobody knew he was before then. She knew that people had her suspicions about her before she came out. And she was not nearly as obvious compared to her Dad.
Maybe her dad just scared them too much to overanalyze. The godawful accessories probably threw the gaydar off. But still.
Then it was Misha’s turn.
She couldn’t wait for that.
The songs she heard her dad made as a teen were hilarious. The ones he made up for her as a kid were even better. This had to be good, or at least so bad it was.
And it was surprisingly…well, ironically…. awesome!
He had his backwards money cap, his shirt blowing in the breeze, and some of the dopest lines she’d heard in that era of Badegg. It was so fun, carefree, and exactly what she imagined her dad’s final tune would be.
Until it wasn’t.
She watched her Papa, wearing the hat now, mind you, nod with the others to give him some space.
He wanted to sing about her.
The infamous Talya.
It could have been awkward for Ava. But instead, it was beautiful and profound. It was the love her dad taught her. The beautiful, without fault kind of love you’d have for someone. Just because it didn’t work out for them doesn’t mean it wasn’t real and whole and pure. Without it, she wasn’t even sure he could have known to love her papa well. So she was glad for Talya. And glad for the song too.
It was… awe-inspiring.
A side of her dad she knew of course, but the rest of them? Seems a bit gobsmacked by. Especially her Papa. She knew the look on him. Beyond adoration, she was sure he was a bit jealous. That he’d be named most romantic, but yet, Misha would be the one to do that.
He wanted him. She could tell. And it only warmed her more to know he got him, too, one day.
After that came her uncle Ricky’s song and spiel. She knew most of what she saw, or at least she thought she did. Until the song.
What the fuck?
She knew he liked cats. But was he saying he wanted to fuck Alein cat ladies? And dudes? Whoa.
Suddenly, Ricky, being a cat lover, had a whole new meaning. He was pretty kinky. Just like her dad’s song. But this was still… “far out” so to speak. If you liked your puns. (The author does indeed love her puns.)
She looked away during some of it. She didn’t need to see her dads doing…. cat play.
Yeah, next please? Sorry, Rickster, love you, but this was her family!
Constance looked so happy after it, she wondered if in another life she and Ricky could have gone and had cat babies on Zolar.
“I’m so happy I could never come down!”
“My turn.”
“Aww, man!”
Some people might have thought it was comical. But Ava just felt her heart squeeze. She loved her Auntie Penny; she is the whole reason she’s alive! She carried her! She loved her! She deserved a song….
And it was quite the song.
Tragic, and haunting, and filled with notes that made you tear up from pure effort and pure talent, let alone the emotions in them.
She wiped at her eyes when Penny came back down, and the group all surrounded her with her birthday gear. She smiled as a few more tears fell. She was proud of her Auntie Ocean for doing it. Proud of them all for growing. The family she was starting to recognize.
The new birthday song…. so that’s where it came from.
She’d heard it sung whenever she had family birthdays with the choir family. She always assumed maybe it was from their era or school or something. But nope. It was from the dead.
She’d remember that next time she had a birthday with them. Think back on this moment. Get a bit mushy.
Noel and Misha again had a moment. She loved seeing these. She knew her dads never hid anything from her. They loved openly and freely. They hid enough in their youth. But it felt more private and intimate, even back then.
“I never drank… or kissed a man….”
She never asked, but she wasn’t shocked that her Papa’s first kiss was with her dad. With a man or ever, it was the first real one. The way Misha smiled, she could tell it meant something to him, too. Either just for Noel, or beyond. She had a feeling, though, that the warmth he felt didn’t just come from empathy. Like he was happy it was his kiss to give. And that he’d give him more if he only just asked.
“будмо!” He raised his glass.
She had no glass to raise, but the sentiment was shared.
This changed them. This made them who they were. This made everything that led to her and her siblings.
It made her proud to witness it in a way. Like, yeah, that’s her dads. Go dads! Be iconic and cute. If someone thought they were any less? They were either blind or stupid.
Then there was a moment where Penny and Ricky, future best friends, bonded over a name and a feeling of being unseen. Then there was Ocean and Constance. Ocena’s flaws. Constance punching her in the boob. Ha.
Then Constance’s song.
It was so sad leading up to it, and then it just exploded into happiness. The most beautiful sunshine raining down on her, well, sugarcloud! It was sensational and contagious and pure joy!
It was everything she thought her Auntie Constance was and ever could be. Celebrated under the lights of the warehouse. For everyone to see.
She loved it. And she really hoped in that moment, Constance knew she was loved, too. By many.
Then…. there was only one thing left to do.
The vote.
The vote that Karnak somehow gave… to Ocean?
She wasn’t expecting this to go well. She had no idea how it went. She knew they all came back. But how? And after or before Ocean was selfish.
None of that happened.
Ocean chose well. She chose Jane. She chose the path they now all lead. Alive, together, and full of the love she benefitted from even now, always growing, never falling.
Life really was a ride. But it was one she was so glad she got to be on. With everyone she was. She’d even maybe never been more thankful than right now for her life the way it was.
Suddenly, the curtains closed on them during the last song, and her bed was floating backwards, until the drop came, like a coaster going backwards, sending her back in the night to her bed.
She felt the jolt. And she screamed. At the exact same time, she heard her siblings scream through the walls.
She got out of bed, careful to step on the floor and not fall down into the warehouse pit should she have still been there. Her cat came with her, Kiki, like a ghost of a companion from the dream.
Ava stepped into her slippers, then into the hall, and quickly noticed her dads were still asleep. They hadn’t screamed that loudly. But still. She had to check.
Then she knocked on her brother’s door.
“Grey! Get up!” She called for the older of the twins.
“I am up!” He whisper-called back to her before he opened the door.
His dark hair was disheveled, and his curls were going in every direction. His green shirt hung off his neck lopsided. His eyes were squinted.
“I hear you scream.”
“So?” He scoffed. “I had a weird dream.”
“Yeah, well, so did I!” She exclaimed. “And didn’t you hear Teagan scream too?”
“Tea?” He rubbed his eyes. “Where is she?”
“Probably hiding under the covers in her room, like always,” Ava explained. “Let’s go!” She grabbed the wrist of the boy and walked across the hall to knock on the door lightly.
No answer.
So Ava took the executive decision to open the door herself.
“Go away, scary Karnak man!” She cried from under the covers. “Don’t take me, or my daddies!”
“Tea, it’s just us!” Ava said. “And Karnak- wait.”
She froze.
Did they really all have the same dream? She just had a hunch. But no. This was no coincidence. This was spooky.
“You see him too, Grey?”
Greyson nodded with his hands in his pockets, grabbing at them with nerves.
“Shit… okay… so we really all saw that.”
Teagan popped up as soon as Ava sat on her bed. “You said a bad word.” Teagan rolled her eyes.
“You’re far too much like your Aunt Ocean,” Greyson added as he sat at the other side. “Like what is Futher-Mucking, anyway? Sounds like horse poop.”
Everyone giggled.
“Were you actually scared, Tea-Tea?” Ava asked as she opened her arms for the younger girl to crawl into.
She sniffed. “I just don’t like to think about daddies being dead.”
“They’re not,” Ava said. “They came back and were proof of it.”
Teagan nodded and hugged her sister back. Greyson looked at them. Ava rolled her eyes.
“Join the hug, you loser.”
“Hey!”
Ava laughed and pulled him in, too, watching him fall down into the pile.
Then, in the fit of giggling and hugging, the hall light went on.
“Kids?” Noel’s stern voice called.
Oh shit.
They were caught.
But they were here. And so nothing could bring them down. Not even a scolding.