Chapter Text
It was a very rare moment indeed when the sunshine of an autumn day in Konoha coincided with an afternoon free of responsibility and burden. Just because peace had broken out between the villages didn’t mean that there wasn’t work somewhere to be done. And even though he was no longer Hokage, it seemed as if Kakashi was hounded most days by someone for something. Not a bad position to be in, by any means; to be useful to one’s village is a great thing.
And enjoying the fruits of one’s labor was the whole point of life, after all.
Usually by this time of the afternoon there would be no school children in this spot. It was close enough to lunch that the older people wouldn't be milling around. So instead of sequestering himself away in the usual secret place and away from prying eyes, Kakashi chose a seat by the window to enjoy the sunshine.
When the library had been built, Kakashi had intended to spend his free time here when he could. Easier said than done when he was running the village, but now was a different matter. Naruto had a firm enough hold on things, with only small interventions and help on his part.
This section wasn't exactly where his reading interests lied, but the chair was comfortable, and the warmth was just enough to lull him into a whisper of a nap. And even though the book in his hand wasn't sparking any intrigue, being comfortable was a small consolation.
It was a shame that today's chosen novel wasn't holding his interest. The premise had caused him to anticipate an exciting story that would have him enthralled, and the reviews also backed this up. Unfortunately, and even after slogging it out for four chapters, Kakashi had yet to find himself at all interested in what was happening to the characters. But he wasn’t about to give up on something he had started. He was nothing if not persistent.
It did mean that the sun’s warm blanket lured him more than the pages. Every so often he would allow his eyes to close fully to breathe it in, he’d open them to reread the same paragraph, which did not pique his interest in the story at hand.
In the heady days when there had been new Icha Icha novels to peruse, Kakashi had devoured them within hours, and even subsequent rereads had been enough to scratch that itch of the perfect balance between plot and characterization. Decades later, though he still carried at least one copy of Icha with him at all times, he’d needed newer stories to hold his attention. The familiarity of Makeout Tactics was a safety that he could return to at any time, but his mind craved engagement on another level.
It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was very, very, single. No matter how many times Gai had hinted that all he needed was romance in real life instead of in fiction, Kakashi would deny it.
He was used to being on his own, he liked the solitude even, he just needed to find the right book to pass the time and silence his weary mind.
With a sigh so loud that it might've impressed Shikamaru, Konoha's resident expert in the act, Kakashi resigned himself to a lackluster evening.
“Something the matter there, Kakashi sensei?”
“Hmm?” His attention was drawn to a flash of pink appearing from behind the shelves. “Oh, hello Sakura. No, nothing wrong at all, just enjoying the sunshine.”
“People don't usually sigh that way when they're enjoying themselves y'know.”
Kakashi hummed in agreement as he regarded the young woman. She smiled, and it would have been sincere if not for the marks of tiredness around her eyes and the heavy satchel tugging on her shoulder.
“Research?” He nodded to the bag.
“Oh, this? Sort of. Just returning some to make room for some more. You know how it goes.”
“Indeed I do.” He smiled back and put his own book down on the table face down, perhaps with a little more flair than he intended.
“Oh dear,” Sakura gazed at the title briefly, “not doing it for you, huh?”
He may have blushed at the question some years ago, but she gave as good as she got these days. Kakashi supposed he deserved it for the ruthless teasing he'd inflicted on her in her youth.
“Not particularly, no.”
“It's not badly written, at least I didn't think so. You're probably not quite the target audience for that kinda thing.”
Kakashi was officially intrigued. Being without stimulation might just get him punched into oblivion if he didn't mind his next words carefully. Though an adult now, Sakura’s temper was still liable to boil over given the chance.
“Take it you’re familiar with this one?” He held the volume up for effect.
“Oh, yeah, I mean… it had so many rave reviews and all…”
She busied herself in her satchel suddenly and Kakashi enjoyed the dust of rose on her cheeks. Goading her was a novelty that apparently had not worn off since her genin days.
“Wouldn't have picked you for this genre, Sakura? Shouldn't you be in the medical text section during operating hours?”
He raised a brow and chuckled quietly as she contained the embarrassment poorly.
She finished rummaging through her bag and his amusement was cut short by a thwap as a book hit the table. The concern for bodily harm upon his person increased ever so slightly, but he managed to catch the twinkle of mischief in her eyes as they met his.
“Try this one. Might be more suited to your refined tastes, Sensei.”
Before Kakashi had time to question her, Sakura was holding up her hand in a wave and rushing towards the door.
“See ya later!” She called from a few rows back.
“See ya, thanks… for this…”
Unsure if he should be thanking her just yet, Kakashi cautiously picked up what she had thrown his way.
What fresh hell is this?
Patricia Wants to Cuddle.
*****
That was how it'd started. One moment of morbid curiosity, and suddenly Kakashi was propelled into a world where he wasn't entirely sure what was happening.
By the time the clock hit midnight he was halfway through the damned thing, and by dawn he was finished but nevertheless still confused. It irked him that the last time he'd pulled an all-nighter it'd been for a good cause, Icha Icha no less, and now he'd spent an entire night reading whatever this thing was.
Ire was replaced with concern as he belatedly realized that this was what Sakura had recommended for him to read. What was, essentially, a pseudo-horror lesbian fantasy novel complete with game show and sasquatch.
The story held his attention for ridiculousness alone. But a hurried and predictable ending was all that could happen with such a premise.
Kakashi waited a full two days before braving the public spaces of the library. He wasn't sure if he was avoiding the chance of running into Sakura again, or avoiding all human contact, but he tried his hardest to stay hidden amongst the shelves. Necessity had drawn him out. He needed something else to read.
Patricia Wants to Cuddle had officially skewed his world view.
Yesterday he'd busied himself in Hokage Tower with reports and boring things. But even that had its limits in keeping his attention. What he needed to do was occupy his mind because he was seriously considering finding Sakura at the hospital and questioning her literature choices.
What target audience had it been for? Did he want to know the answer to that question specifically?
No. No, times like this called for the comfort blanket.
Casting a quick eye around the vicinity, Kakashi quietly, very quietly, sat himself at the window for the moment. He withdrew Makeout Tactics from his pocket, twitching at the sight of the other book beside it.
If he read it again would it make any more, or less sense, than the first time?
He sighed. Maybe he needed to go for a run with Gai or something. If he was physically exhausted his brain might shut up for an evening. Although he doubted it.
What did she mean by ‘refined’ tastes, and how on earth did it equate to this?
Because the questions would not stop circling like carrion birds to a corpse, Kakashi decided enough was enough. There was a way to get answers, and if he really wanted to he could be covert in attaining them. Although he doubted whether his thoroughly baffled brain would allow him to form a plan with any measure of success.
What he needed to do was find Sakura and return the thing, and vow to never ever approach her in the library again.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Kakashi was moving, deciding to kill two birds with one stone and burn off some energy at the same time. At a good level of speed he decided to use the fabled Naruto route, the various rooftops of Konoha, in an effort to scan the paths beneath. Perhaps he would catch a glimpse of pink among the fallen leaves and crowds. His final destination was his best bet, the hospital, but he wasn’t so sure of anything at this precise moment.
The autumn breeze picked up and there was a subtle aroma of mint that Kakashi knew to be her shampoo. He turned to the direction of the wind and found exactly who he’d been looking for. With that same bag on her shoulder, Sakura appeared to be heading in the direction of the library. His hunch had been correct.
“Good afternoon, Sakura.”
“Oh, hi, Kakashi sensei.”
He fell into step beside her. Either she hadn’t noticed his approach or she was feigning surprise at seeing him. He tried and failed to think of a segue into a conversation that could lead to his naturally returning the book.
“Here.” He pulled it from his pocket and held it out for her to take.
“Oh, finished already?” She gave him a side eye as she took the offending volume.
“Yes, I have.”
“I take it by that tone you didn’t enjoy it.”
“In a word, no. In two words, hell no.” A smile belied the obvious pain he was feeling, the sound of her laugh had a way of doing that. “What on earth made you think that I would enjoy it?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged but she had stopped laughing, which made him believe that she genuinely had wanted him to like it. “It has good reviews, it’s an interesting premise, you have to admit that much—”
“Premise alone does not make a good story. All that build up, a hundred and fifty pages of build up to be exact, all for a lackadaisical ending you could see coming from a mile away.”
“Don’t you think that the bonds and trials of friendship deserve a little build up?”
“Sakura, I don’t know what your friendship with Ino entails, but that is not about friendship.”
“What, you and Gai sensei didn’t explore your burgeoning sexuality while you were growing up?”
“What? No! Absolutely no, despite what he tells anyone who will listen.”
At this point they both peeled into laughter.
“You have to admit, you got suckered in by the blurb alone. You even finished it. In almost record time, I might add. I had my money on twenty four hours.”
“You’ve picked up Tsunade’s bad luck as well as her ungodly strength and temper.” He braced himself for injury but she just huffed in amusement. “But you were always the clever one. I did finish it pretty fast, but I was waiting for the plot to gain any momentum amongst the ridiculousness. Alas, nothing.”
“Who cares about the plot when there’s smut? I thought that was why you read Icha Icha—”
“I’ll have you know, young lady, that smut is the reward for well balanced plot and characterization.” He held a finger up and she smiled. “And Icha is a complete league of its own. That’s romance, not just smut.”
“Mmhmm, and I’ll believe that when Tonton sprouts wings and delivers presents to all the children of Konoha.”
The conversation had been flowing fast and Kakashi hadn’t quite realized how far they’d walked until the library was within view. Earlier convictions aside, he needed to get his answers and get to the safety of Icha Icha.
“Is that the kind of thing you read in your spare time?”
“Well, yes and no. Everybody needs something to read, y’know.” This time Sakura was the one who sighed. “I don’t know, I’m…”
“Looking for something?”
He finished the sentence for her and she nodded with an air of melancholy.
“I thought maybe I was in the wrong genre, but it doesn’t seem to matter where I look.”
“I know that feeling.” Kakashi added with as much sympathy as a masked face could project. He really did know how she was feeling.
“Enough about that.” She waved the conversation away as they reached the doors. “You heading this way too, Lord Sixth?”
His eyes narrowed. She knew how much he hated being called that; it made him sound a thousand years old.
“Depends if you have any more books to recommend to me.”
“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad, or you wouldn’t have read it—”
“I’m just saying my feeble old body may not be able to take another horror.”
There was a glint in her eye, and that should have been Kakashi’s first warning to stick to his earlier plan. Avoid her while she’s in the library at all costs. Alas, hindsight is a fickle bitch.
“I do have one here that is strictly romance.” Sakura reached into her bag and handed him another smaller novel.
Forked.
“That is not a subtle title…” Kakashi’s words drifted off as his mind tried to comprehend the blurb on the back. If he thought that Patricia Wants to Cuddle had been insane this was on a whole other level. And at that moment he got the hint. With a chuckle he handed it back to her while shaking his head. “Alright, Sakura-chan, I’ll leave you to it. See ya.”
She was snickering to herself as she waved him away.
Kakashi’s mind was still reeling from that brief synopsis, that such a thing existed on this earth, no less published into a book that anyone could procure. Was he so old that the whole concept of romance, and literature for that matter, had completely and utterly morphed into something unrecognizable?
No, no that wasn’t it. This was much more likely to be Sakura getting her own back so that he would stop bothering her while she was trying to work. That made much more sense than a cursed soldier trapped inside a fork that has to make love to a woman to turn back into a human.
His earlier hunch had been correct and he made a mental note to keep a wide berth of that particular section for a while. When she was finished with whatever research she was doing, then normalcy could resume. And while he lamented the loss of his warm window and the unapparent summer air in early fall, he had prepared for just such a scenario.
Kakashi had been able to achieve a little as Hokage. Though not comparable to his predecessors in the slightest, his biggest achievement was this library. And he had personally managed its construction ten years ago. While maintaining a low profile, Kakashi moved quickly and silently to the back of the building. From the outside you couldn’t tell what was hidden there, and thus far no one had discovered the library’s secret.
That was exactly what he’d intended when he constructed this particular part.
Making the appropriate hand signs revealed the door. This was the exterior access anyway, the other entrance was inside the library itself, but he was going to avoid that today.
It had taken a lot of time and chakra to create this hideaway. But with the clones it hadn’t been too difficult at least. For about six months at the early stage of his Hokagedom he was fairly certain that everyone thought he was ill or suffering some kind of chakra exhaustion. Shizune and even Tsunade herself had eyed him suspiciously more than a couple of times. In reality he was just sending clones out disguised to build his oasis.
The door had a code before it would open from the outside. Known only to him. Each time he keyed it in he did the mandatory check of the surroundings, but there were never any followers. Even his own Anbu detail could not locate this spot, and if they happened to pick up his chakra signature it would only lead them to the library. He’d not used this spot so often after he’d first built it, and then it had taken some time to furnish, but now he was here at least once a day.
The narrow staircase led up to a hatch. Opening the hatch let you into the walls of the library itself, and Kakashi’s own secret nook.
It was a narrow but snug room. The walls were shelves for his own private collection of books. The carpeted floor led to the small sofa where he was more than happy to spend a good chunk of his afternoon. The lights in here were great for reading, and it was warm enough too; he’d had heating installed to match the library proper. It was just a shame that he couldn’t enjoy the sunshine or fresh air. Sometimes that was also a necessity as well as a good book. Today he was very happy to settle for this small space where no one knew to look for him. There was even a private bathroom should he feel the need to hunker down for more than a couple of hours. It had served well during the stint where the previous Kage floated the word ‘reunion’ while they were in town.
Icha Icha in his lap, a soft pillow behind his head, Kakashi sighed peacefully this time. Normalcy was a good thing.
There was just one niggling thought that persisted and would not allow him to fully relax.
Exactly why had Sakura put in so much effort to send him away? She’d never explained her ‘research’. And on top of that, she was definitely out of the hospital at strange hours this week.
Maybe it was more than one niggling thought. The first one just opened the dam.