Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Chapters:

1.) edward meets bella and vanishes for a week

2.) edward returns and is paired with katherine for a project in a different class. she asks him where he went and doesn't push when he gives a vague answer about being sick, though mentally she wonders for a second if he can even get sick before brushing it off.

3.) edward takes notice of her sarcastic thoughts as time passes and he goes through his day. he tells his family about it. they panic at first before edward says she just knows/thinks they aren't human but doesn't know they're vamps. they decide to try the "advice" out, as it sounds reasonable.

4.) the cullens follow her unconscious, sarcastic "advice" (unknown to her) and start trying to get closer to her (unconsciously). katherine thinks they're being weirder than normal. meanwhile, bella is being her weird, obsessive self, trying to figure out what's up with the cullens, making katherine's "advice" all the more important in thwarting bella. it's working, too.

5.) eventually, the cullens pull her aside, thank her for her "advice" (that they kind of just...took from her head), and reveal they're vamps (after a family vote). katherine is just like wat.

6.) katherine decides that since she's stuck in this situation, she might as well teach them properly. bella isn't any closer to finding out what is going on with the cullens thanks to the cullens' improvements in their acting, but she's getting more weird and obsessed.

7.) meanwhile, bella is going nuts, she thinks she knows what the cullens are because she got the book from the quileute bookstore and somehow managed to dodge getting raped by the frat boys due to katherine, alice, esme, and rosalie, who were shopping, seeing and stepping in (this is how katherine escapes her death by james). the cullens’ adapting acting skills due to their new friendship with katherine aren’t making things easier for her. bella finally snaps and confronts edward, who unfortunately tosses all of katherine’s lessons out the window and panics. rosalie is not happy with him for ruining all their work.

8.) the cullens have to do damage control now that edward fucked up and spilled their secret while panicking. The best way? Gaslight the shit out of bella.

(You can do more chapters, but these are the first 8 or so)

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Full Name: Katherine Reed

Name Meaning: Pure and Red-haired or “Clear-minded and pure of purpose, but flexible and quietly resilient.”

Birthday: September 23 (Fall equinox, Libra cusp)

Appearance:

• Red (ginger, more specifically Weasley-ginger)
• No freckles
• Pale-ish
• Leafy green eyes
• 5’2”

Style: casual with flair

• Graphic tees
• Simple long sleeve shirts
• Denim jacket (blue)
• High-waisted, slim-fit jeans (dark blue, grey, black)
• Grey converse
• Black ankle boots
• Red scarf
• Grey beanie
• Stud earrings
• Small dangle earrings
• Amethyst charm necklace

Personality (outwards):

• Nice
• Focused
• A bit quiet
• Smart

Personality (inwards):

• Snarky
• Sarcastic
• Observant
• Too nice to say anything or look deeper

Likes:

• Photography
• Books
• Music

Dislikes:

• Wasting food
• Incompetence

Gift (Once turned): Truth

• Is able to subconsciously know the truth of anything (like subconsciously accessing a Cosmic Encyclopedia of Truths)
• Is also a perfect lie detector
• MAYBE: Is able to force a person to speak the truth using physical contact
• Not constantly on—trigger activated by an untruth or when a truth needs to be known

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• Regularly put on lip balm
  • Perfectly plush lips aren’t a thing without it
• Jump/flinch when a locker is slammed
  • Human instinct of loud noises
• Tone down the stink eye
  •  Don’t want to activate the prey drive
• Fold clothes imperfectly
  • Don’t want to look like it was folded and ironed by a machine
• How to fake a yawn
• How to wet their lips on occasion and constantly put on lip balm
• How to fake a distracted itch
• How to squirm like their clothing is slightly uncomfortable sometimes
• TELL THEM TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN THE LUNCHROOM SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO THROW OUT THEIR FOOD
  • Esme can take the food they buy to keep up the illusion, cook it, and then donate it in Seattle or something to a food/soup kitchen
• How to fidget/act bored
• How to fake a stumble
• How to walk like they’re NOT on a runway or like they’re NOT victorian ghosts gliding along
• How to socialize
  • “The nail that sticks up gets hammered down” - Kakashi to Sasuke
  • Being a family of beautiful loners is OBVIOUS and ATTENTION-DRAWING
• How act tired/pretend they pulled an all-nighter for some reason or another
  • The bruises under their eyes darken when they haven't fed in a while
• How to pretend like things they pick up ACTUALLY have weight
• How to put on makeup imperfectly
• How to shiver when a cold wind blows
• How to constantly slip jackets on and off like you can’t tell if it’s too hot or too cold
• How to properly hide the fact that you are a vamp if accused
• How to gaslight someone properly

🧠 The Official Cullen Humaning Curriculum

(Taught by Katherine “You People Are Not Normal” Reed)

Lesson 1: The Art of Imperfection

• How to apply makeup badly enough to look human.
  
  
• How to fold laundry imperfectly so it doesn’t scream “military AI did this.”
  
  
• Smudge your lipstick. Don’t brush your hair perfectly. Imperfection is believable.
  
  

Lesson 2: Subtle Movements, Big Impact

• Fidgeting basics: tapping pencils, shifting in your seat, scratching an itch that doesn’t exist.
  
  
• Picking at fingernails. Tugging at sleeves. Yawning like you’re actually exhausted from calculus, not undead.
  
  
• How to slouch. Yes, posture perfection is suspicious. Let that spine curve like the rest of us.
  
  

Lesson 3: Temperature Drama 101

• How to shiver when the wind blows, hug yourself for warmth.
  
  
• Constant jacket-on-jacket-off routine because no one is ever truly comfortable in public.
  
  
• Say “Ugh, the AC is freezing” at least once per school day.
  
  

Lesson 4: Cafeteria Etiquette for the Undead

• Stop throwing away untouched food! It looks weird.
  
  
• Carry your tray. Push food around. Trade snacks. Let someone else take your fruit cup.
  
  
• Bonus: Secretly donate Esme’s overstocked food to a local pantry and use “we’re health nuts” as your excuse.
  
  

Lesson 5: The Target Trials (Wardrobe Downgrade Mission)

• Blend high-end with basic: $80 jeans with a $10 graphic tee from Target = passable teen.
  
  
• Katherine drags Alice to Target kicking and screaming. Alice later becomes obsessed with discovering “low-budget aesthetic.”
  
  
• Embrace slightly scuffed shoes. Mix and match. Nobody’s closets look that coordinated, babe.
  
  

Lesson 6: Socialize or Be Sus

• The Kakashi Doctrine: “The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.”
  
  
• Cullens must interact with peers—even if it’s just awkwardly commenting on group projects.
  
  
• Laugh at dumb jokes. Get annoyed at school policies. Blend.
  
  

Lesson 7: Advanced Human Reactions

• Fake tiredness. “Pulled an all-nighter studying” is your new default excuse.
  
  
• Yawn realistically. Rub your eyes. Wet your lips like they get dry.
  
  
• Look annoyed at pop quizzes even though you know every answer before the teacher opens their mouth.
  
  

Lesson 8: Code Red – Human Suspicion Handling

• Accused of being a vampire? Cool, calm, and dismissive. Never panic.
  
  
• Play dumb. Make jokes. Gaslight subtly: “Contacts,” “Anemia,” “Weird genetics.”
  
  
• Reverse Uno: “You think I sparkle? What, like glitter body lotion?”
  
  
• Never let Edward answer. He fails instantly.
  
  

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edward meets bella and vanishes for a week

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1. The teacher assigns a 7-8 page paper on the symbolism of the green light of the Great Gatsby.
2. By random assignment, Katherine and Edward are paired together.
3. Katherine lets out a mental sigh and a grumble of having to work with the Marble Man.   Edward thinks it’s a jab at his paleness when it’s actually about his stiff movements and refusal to fidget and move like a human.
4. Katherine makes an offhand question about where he went for the week.   Edward said he was sick and she basically goes “Yeah, right” mentally.
5. Edward and Katherine decide on which symbolism for the green light they will use (the decay of the American Dream).   They begin to flesh out the outline of the paper and divvy up which paragraphs each person would do.
6. During this, Katherine thinks about how Edward “sits weird” (she means that he sits like an animatronic programmed to only move at set intervals).
7. Edward is at first confused, but then she thinks that he’s “definitely not human” and he panics.
8. Edward is stuck between “fake it till you make it” and “tell his family immediately”.   Katherine is just wondering if she should get the chicken nuggets to go with her pizza today.

Part 2: The Project

Forks High School’s junior English classroom smelled faintly of old books, floor wax, and the quiet despair of overachieving teenagers. The teacher, Ms. Callahan, stood at the front of the room, announcing the latest literary endeavor with a gleam in her eye that only someone who enjoyed APA formatting could summon.

“A seven to eight page paper,” she said, with the merciless cheer of someone who wouldn’t be writing it, “analyzing the symbolism of the green light in The Great Gatsby. Due in three weeks. Partners have been assigned at random.”

Katherine Reed froze mid-sip of her lukewarm tea. Please not Tyler. Please not Mike. Please not—

“Edward Cullen and Katherine Reed.”

...Dammit.

She sighed internally. Not dramatically, just a weary, silent grumble—like her brain had stubbed its toe on fate.
The Marble Man.
It wasn’t a jab at his pale skin, though that was a convenient coincidence. No, it was the way he moved—or didn’t. She’d never seen him fidget. Never slouched. Never stretched or scratched his nose or tapped a pencil. He sat like someone had posed him. And then left him that way.

Edward, across the room, tilted his head ever so slightly at the sound of her thought. He wasn’t used to being called that. “Marble Man?” Was that... about his skin?

He didn’t have time to dwell on it. Katherine had already packed up her things and was heading his way.

“Hi,” she said simply, as she slid into the seat beside him. “Guess we’re partners.”

Edward nodded, trying to maintain his usual calm mask. “Looks like it.”

Katherine glanced at him sideways. “You okay? You missed, like, a week.”

“Yeah,” he replied with carefully neutral vagueness. “Sick.”

She raised an eyebrow but didn’t press. Outwardly.
Inwardly: Sure. Sick. Definitely not suspicious at all. Do vampires get colds now? Wait, no. That’s dumb. He’s just...weird. Whatever.

Edward blinked. He’d only caught a portion of it, but it was enough to make him sit a little straighter. Did she just think “vampire”?

But she’d already moved on.

“So,” Katherine said, opening her notebook, “green light. What angle are we taking? Metaphor for longing? Obsession? Hope?”

“Decay of the American Dream,” Edward said almost too quickly. “It’s the one with the most evidence.”

Katherine nodded. “Good. Let’s outline. Intro, three main points, supporting quotes... want the body or conclusion?”

They divvied it up quickly—Katherine taking the introduction, conclusion, and second body paragraph, Edward the first and third. Their outline was efficient. Edward appreciated her clarity. It made things... easier.

Until her brain piped up again.

Why does he sit like that? Like he’s got a timer that tells him when to blink or shift. Like an animatronic built to pass as human in dim lighting.

Edward stiffened, ironically enough.

Katherine was too focused on drawing a diagram of paragraph structure to notice.

Then: He’s definitely not human. I don’t know what he is, but no human moves like that.

That did it.

Edward’s pencil paused mid-stroke. His golden eyes flicked up to her, searching for any trace of suspicion on her face. Nothing. She looked... mildly bored. And maybe hungry.

Do I tell the family? Is she dangerous? No—she doesn’t know. But she knows something. This is bad. This is—

“I’m gonna get pizza today,” Katherine said suddenly, glancing up. “You want to finish the rest of the outline tomorrow?”

Edward nodded numbly.

“Cool. I’m debating on whether to get chicken nuggets too. Might be a two-carb kind of day.”

She gathered her things and left, her mind already weighing pizza grease against cafeteria-grade breading.

Edward remained seated, staring blankly ahead, still halfway between crisis mode and confusion.

The Marble Man, for once, looked a little cracked.

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1. During lunch time, Edward tells his siblings of what he heard from Katherine’s thoughts (that they're way too stiff and act like animatronics and that they are definitely not human).
2. His siblings panic a bit, and Rosalie is the most upset.
3. Edward tells them that Katherine just knows that they aren’t human, not that they’re vampires.   This calms them a bit.
4. Emmett gets an idea: if Katherine’s thoughts were basically a critique of their acting skill in “human-ing”, then they could use her thoughts as advice on what to fix.
5. Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward are a bit skeptical despite how they still agree it’s a pretty good idea.   Alice says to try it to see what happens.
6. Rosalie asks Alice if she can See anything (with her visions), and Alice says no, because there were too many paths. Alice did say that if they followed through, it would help get Bella's attention off them, which immediately makes Edward willing to try.
7. The siblings agree to try it out, meaning Edward has to act as the liaison between them to tell them what to fix.   They agree to tell Carlisle and Esme about it after school and to practice their acting skills at home.
8. All while this is happening, Katherine is munching away at her chicken nuggets (no sauce needed), happy as a clam.

Part 3: The Family Meeting

The Cullens didn’t eat lunch—at least not in the traditional, tray-and-tater-tots sense. They occupied the far table in the cafeteria, every sibling in their usual spot like some eerily perfect seating chart. It gave them the illusion of normalcy. Almost.

Today, Edward broke protocol.

“She knows,” he said lowly, voice barely above a whisper.

Four sets of eyes snapped to him.

Rosalie was the first to react. “ What. ”

Edward ran a hand through his hair. “Not everything. Just… that we’re not human. She doesn’t know what we are.”

“Who?” Jasper asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Katherine Reed. I got paired with her for a project. She has… very loud thoughts.”

“Oh,” Alice said with sudden interest, leaning in. “The ginger with the green eyes?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s funny,” Emmett added, unbothered. “Didn’t she call you Marble Man once?”

“She thought it,” Edward muttered, already regretting bringing this up.

Rosalie leaned forward, eyes sharp. “What exactly did she think?”

Edward closed his eyes. “That we’re too stiff. That I move like an animatronic on a timer. That none of us act right. Then she thought I was ‘definitely not human.’”

A beat of silence.

“I knew it,” Rosalie hissed. “I said we needed to tone it down!”

Jasper tensed beside her. “If she’s picking up on things that quickly, she’s a liability.”

“She’s not a threat,” Edward said quickly. “She didn’t push. I gave a vague answer when she asked where I was last week, and she just mentally rolled her eyes and let it go. If she knew what we were, she’d have run already.”

Alice hummed, tapping her nails lightly on the table. “So she’s not scared. Just… confused?”

“Confused, sarcastic, and apparently very observant,” Edward muttered. “She’s weirdly nice, but her thoughts are a running commentary on everyone’s flaws.”

“I like her,” Emmett said with a grin.

“Of course you do,” Rosalie muttered.

Emmett shrugged. “No, think about it—if her thoughts are basically critiques of how bad we are at blending in, couldn’t we use that?”

Jasper blinked. “Use what, exactly?”

“Her brain. As a ‘humaning’ coach.” He pointed at Edward. “You already get her commentary for free. Just tell us what she says we suck at. We'll fix it.”

Edward looked skeptical. “You want me to report back on her thoughts?”

“Why not?” Emmett asked. “It’s like having a personal trainer for your social skills.”

“It’s creepy,” Rosalie said flatly. “Even for us.”

Alice tilted her head, eyes going distant for a second. “I can’t see anything clearly. Too many paths. But—if we go through with this, it does seem to help with the Bella problem.”

Everyone paused.

That got Edward’s attention.

“How?”

“She’s still obsessed,” Alice said bluntly, “but she can’t get a read on us anymore. She’s constantly second-guessing herself. It slows her down. Makes her look paranoid.”

Rosalie leaned back with a frown. “So we become better at pretending, and Swan spirals?”

“Sounds like a win-win,” Jasper said with a shrug.

Edward sighed. “So I’m the liaison?”

“Yes,” Alice chirped.

Rosalie looked him dead in the eyes. “If I start walking like a robot again, you tell me. Immediately.”

“Same,” Jasper grunted.

“I’m just gonna smile more,” Emmett added.

“We’ll tell Carlisle and Esme after school,” Alice said brightly. “We can practice at home. Make it a family exercise.”

Rosalie groaned. “Like vampire charades.”

Meanwhile, across the cafeteria, Katherine bit into a chicken nugget with quiet satisfaction. No sauce. The crispiness was enough. She was debating whether to get a cookie when she glanced up and noticed all five Cullens staring at nothing in particular, with varying levels of intensity and existential dread.

She blinked, then went back to her tray.

Weirdos.

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1. The Cullens meet up back home after school to discuss what to do (and to tell Esme and Carlisle about the situation).   They agree to try the idea out and to have Edward report on what they need to fix, thus making Katherine their unintentional performance coach.
2. When the Cullens arrive in the parking lot the next day, Edward immediately gets hit with a comment on how they look like they came straight from a shampoo commercial with their perfect hair.   Katherine muses about how Jasper was so stiff and tense that he looked two seconds away from either decking someone in the face or having a mental breakdown while Alice looked like she was about to float off into the sky with how lightly she moved, like she was gliding across the ground. Katherine amends that thought with how it looked like ALL of the Cullens looked like they were gliding like shitty Victorian ghosts. Emmett finds this hilarious.
3. During lunch, the Cullens get blasted with an (unintentional) mental scolding of how they wasted their food when other students desperately needed it and a thought of how they could’ve just gone to the library or something instead since they clearly didn’t need to eat.
4. And leaving the school, they get hit again with how they look like robots moving in a perfectly synchronized pack.
5. The Cullens return home to review their notes on their acting and practice acting more human. Step one: walking like gravity is an actual thing. They begin practicing with each other in preparation for the next day.

Part 4: Unintentional Performance Coach

The next day, the Cullens met up in the parking lot after school, their usual synchronized grace making them stand out even more than usual. As they walked toward their cars, Edward’s mind buzzed with Katherine’s sharp observations from the day before. She couldn’t have been more on point if she’d tried.

As soon as they got to the parking lot, the first hit came.

“Wow,” Katherine’s voice echoed in Edward’s mind, “you guys look like you came straight out of a shampoo commercial. What’s your secret? Suave and self-loathing?”

Edward rolled his eyes internally, though his expression remained unreadable. Emmett caught his smirk and raised an eyebrow.

“What? What’s so funny, Edward?” he asked.

Edward kept his voice neutral. “Katherine. She has a... colorful opinion of our appearance.”

“Should I be worried?” Rosalie asked with a playful tilt of her head. “Is she making us sound too good?”

Edward had to stifle a laugh. “Well... she’s mostly confused by how we look. Jasper, for instance...”

His mind flashed to her thoughts as she observed his brother. “Jasper looks like he’s about to snap or explode. He’s so tense, I thought he was going to punch someone or break down right there. Chill out, bro.”

Emmett couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “I did wonder why he was giving off ‘unhinged’ vibes this morning.”

“Don’t forget Alice,” Edward continued. “Katherine’s observations of her were interesting too.”

“Yeah, well, Alice’s movements do look a little over-the-top,” Rosalie added, raising her eyebrow. “What did Katherine say?”

“She said Alice looked like she was about to float away into the sky, like she was gliding across the ground.” Edward paused for effect. “And then she amended it—‘All of them, like shitty Victorian ghosts.’”

This time, Emmett broke out into full laughter. “Oh, I love her. She’s got no filter .”

The group continued walking into the school, and the comments kept rolling in. At lunch, as the Cullens tried to maintain their usual façade of normalcy, Katherine’s thoughts cut through again, and Edward couldn’t help but let out an inward groan.

“Seriously? Wasting food? When there are kids here who actually need it?” Katherine’s thoughts were biting. “You could’ve just gone to the library or something instead, and no one would’ve known. Just stop wasting your food. You obviously don’t need it.”

Edward exchanged a glance with Rosalie. “Well, that was... pleasant.”

Alice sighed, still lost in her own thoughts. “We’re so weird .”

Jasper frowned. “She’s right. We don’t need the food, but we... we have to act human.”

The rest of the lunch passed in strained silence as the Cullens picked at their food, each one mentally distracted by Katherine’s scolding.

Later, as they walked out of the school building, the synchronized pack mentality set in again. Edward and the others were perfectly aligned, moving together in ways that didn’t quite seem... right. Then Katherine’s thoughts came again, piercing through the silence of their minds.

“ Great , now you all look like you’re marching in perfect synchronization, like you’re some kind of weird robot army.” Katherine's voice was drenched in dry sarcasm. “It’s kind of impressive... for a horror movie.”

Edward was practically cringing in his own head, but his face remained impassive. Emmett let out a loud snort, but they all knew the truth: Katherine was right. Their motions were unnatural, like a choreographed dance that wasn’t supposed to be seen by human eyes.

Back at the Cullen house that evening, the family gathered together.

They were all sitting in the living room, taking notes as they reflected on Katherine’s observations.

“We’ve got serious issues, don’t we?” Rosalie said, looking at the notes in her hands. “I can’t believe she’s got us pegged so well.”

Carlisle had been watching intently, his fingers steepled in front of him. “We need to make a plan to improve. But we also need to keep it subtle. We don’t want to make it too obvious we’re trying.”

Edward nodded. “Katherine’s observations are spot-on. We’re too stiff. We don’t act human. It’s time we start making real changes.”

“Step one,” Alice said brightly, “Walking like gravity is an actual thing.”

She stood up with a flourish, arms spread wide as she exaggerated a stiff walk, then immediately made herself drop a little with each step, trying to make it feel like normal human motion.

“Like this?” Emmett asked, standing up and attempting to imitate her exaggerated movements.

“You’re trying too hard,” Rosalie criticized.

“No, I’m being an artistic robot. Step aside, folks, let me show you how it’s done,” Emmett said, dramatically acting as though he was half-human, half-android. “Beep boop, I’m a robot who knows how to dance.”

Everyone burst out laughing, but they were also taking mental notes on how they moved—what felt natural, what didn’t. There was something oddly cathartic about it.

“We need to walk like we’re just... regular people,” Jasper added, rubbing his temple. “Stop trying to make every step perfect. Just walk. Pretend you’re heavier than air. Pretend the world isn’t moving in slow motion.”

“That’s it,” Alice grinned, proud of the progress they were making. “No more gliding. We’re human now.”

“Agreed,” Edward said with a serious tone. “Tomorrow, we start putting this into practice. And we keep listening to Katherine. Let’s see if we can really start blending in.”

Esme looked at her children fondly. “It’s a good start.”

Carlisle gave a half-smile. “Let’s make sure we don’t become too good at it, though. We don’t want to become too human.”

Chapter Text

1. The Cullens are getting better at acting. They actually are sort of walking like normal people now, and their hair is actually imperfect enough to look like they just tossed it together on a whim before rushing out of the house.   They stay in the library or in the parking lot during lunchtime, and they shift their weight more often while sitting, making them look more human. They’ve learned to fake a yawn and play off the dark circles from lack of feeding under their eyes as pulling all-nighters.   They’re starting to learn how to fidget too, shifting their legs and body weight, tapping their feet, rolling their pen between their fingers, etc.
2. Meanwhile, Bella is starting to spiral, all the neat little facts pointing towards the idea that the Cullens weren’t human not lining up anymore.   She’s getting confused and is starting to second-guess herself and is getting frustrated.
3. Katherine is still mentally critiquing their acting, now mainly how stiff they are during class (she also has history class with Jasper and chemistry with Rosalie) and how they don’t play with their fingers unconsciously or shift to move a piece of clothing that itches wrong or flick hair from touching their face. Subtle human stuff. Edward is giving quiet verbal reports during lunch, when they arrive at school, and when they get home every day.
4. The Cullens keep adjusting and practicing at home with each other.

Part 4 (Continued): The Cullens Improve; Bella Spirals

The next few days saw the Cullens gradually improving their "human" act. The changes were subtle but noticeable. Their walks were less robotic and more fluid, like they’d finally understood that gravity was a real thing. They no longer glided across the hallways or moved like statues. Their hair, once perfectly styled, now had that "just rolled out of bed" look that most teenagers sported after rushing out of the house.

They also began shifting their weight more often, a habit they never really had to adopt before. They leaned against walls during lunch, tapping their pens or rolling them between their fingers, adding an unconscious twitch to their hands. Their legs were less stiff, and they would occasionally cross one over the other, like any other teenager trying to relax. When sitting, they would slump slightly, or twist their bodies in a way that felt more comfortable and more human.

Bella noticed, of course. She was always watching them, always trying to piece together the puzzle of the Cullens’ true nature. But now, everything was starting to slip through her fingers.

Her obsession with the Cullens' strange behavior was morphing into confusion. She had been so sure that they weren’t human, certain of it in fact. But now, the facts weren’t lining up. The Cullens were acting too human, far too human for her to justify her earlier suspicions. Their movements were more natural. Their interactions, which had once seemed too perfect, now seemed... real, if only just a little off.

At lunch, Bella caught herself looking over at them, fidgeting with her fork and trying to pretend like she wasn’t completely captivated by them. The way Edward adjusted his hair before answering a question or how Alice absentmindedly drummed her fingers against her glass. They were better at this. Much better.

She found herself starting to second-guess everything she had observed about them. Was she mistaken? Were they just unusually perfect humans, or was she missing something?

Katherine, of course, was still providing her critique, though she didn’t know she was being listened to. Edward could hear her thoughts as she walked past them, mentally noting how they still weren't quite there. They were close, but not perfect.

Jasper was still stiff. His posture never quite relaxed enough. Katherine thought that he looked like he was perpetually holding his breath, waiting for something to happen. The worst was when he was around Bella; his movements became even more unnatural, like he was on edge.

Rosalie, too, wasn’t quite there. Katherine noted how she would always smooth her clothes in a way that didn’t feel quite natural—like she was trying too hard to seem casual. No one adjusts their collar that often unless they're either self-conscious or nervous.

As Katherine walked by them in the hall, she mentally ticked off the problems she could see. “Jasper’s got the best poker face, but he’s a little too stiff. Rosalie looks too perfectly still. Alice... she moves like a ballet dancer, and I’m pretty sure normal humans don’t glide through hallways.”

Edward, ever the liaison, took note of all of it and passed it along to the family.

“Yeah, Katherine says we’re getting better, but we’re not there yet,” Edward said at lunch one day. “Jasper, you're still stiff—especially when you’re around Bella. Rosalie, you need to stop adjusting your hair so much. And Alice, try not to look like you're floating when you walk. It’s giving off an... ethereal vibe.”

Alice raised an eyebrow, amused. “Ethereal, huh? Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I think it’s a little too much of a compliment,” Edward muttered, trying not to laugh. “Seriously though, we need to tone it down.”

They were getting better. At least, they thought they were. But then, when they arrived at school the next day, it became clear that Bella was starting to pick up on the inconsistency of their behavior.

She was watching them more intently than ever, but her usual fascination had morphed into frustration. Her eyes darted from one Cullen to the next as they walked by. She couldn’t quite figure it out, but the pieces weren’t fitting the way they used to. They were too perfect.

One day, Katherine passed by Edward in the hallway. She shot him a mental glance—nothing harsh, just a thought she’d learned to filter out as she walked.

“Okay, you’re still walking too stiff, but your hair... you look like you just brushed it with your fingers this morning. Good job, that’s real progress,” she mused mentally.

Edward winced. “She’s not wrong. I can feel the difference,” he said quietly.

By the time they reached the parking lot, the whole group was silently reflecting on Katherine’s mental critiques and wondering how much more they could improve.

Jasper seemed particularly on edge. The anxiety from trying to maintain their cover was palpable, and it was clear that it was beginning to affect his mood. Rosalie, too, was starting to show signs of her nerves. Her perfect posture was faltering just a little, but she masked it with a quick flick of her hair.

Meanwhile, Bella couldn’t stop thinking about them. Why had they suddenly become so... normal ? How had their movements shifted from mechanical to... human? Were they somehow becoming more human in a way that didn’t make sense?

At lunch the next day, Bella couldn't help but feel herself spiraling. She was starting to question everything she had believed about the Cullens. If they weren’t vampires... then what were they? It was impossible to get a clear answer. All she had were more questions, and less certainty.

Back at home, the Cullens were already gathering their thoughts for the next round of acting lessons.

“Alright, practice starts again tonight,” Edward said as they sat down around the table. “Katherine’s right. We’re not there yet, but we’re getting closer. Just... keep doing what you’re doing.”

Esme smiled at her children, her eyes soft but wise. “You’re doing well. Just be careful. People are starting to notice, and you don’t want to be too obvious.”

Jasper nodded grimly. “I know. It’s just getting harder to keep my head straight.”

“We’ll work through it,” Carlisle said reassuringly. “One step at a time. We’ll get this right.”

And so, the Cullens continued their rehearsals, perfecting their act and hoping that, in time, Katherine’s unintended advice would help them blend into the world they had long since given up trying to fully engage with.

The Cullens’ human lessons were far from over, and as they walked back to school the next day, they couldn’t help but wonder how long they would be able to keep up this charade. Meanwhile, Bella was stuck on the edge of the precipice, not sure which way to fall—into the truth, or into more confusion.

Chapter Text

1. The Cullens are finding it easier to act more human and keep practicing.   Ironically, it’s not Jasper having the hardest time: it’s Carlisle.   Carlisle, while having many centuries of experience pretending to be human, had a harder time undoing his habits and adapting, so while he had the bigger initial advantage, it was harder for him to adjust.   The one adapting fastest was Rosalie.   She was adapting the fastest, and had the important points to pass as a human nearly down, just needing to fix her habit of fidgeting with her collar (which could be explained as a nervous habit) and needing to learn the finer details of human-ing.
2. Esme and Carlisle go shopping (with Edward as translator) at the grocery store Katherine is in to see if they can get their own critiques.
3. The first thought upon seeing them is a note on how nearly human they are acting, and then a slightly bitter thought that Esme and Carlisle better be donating the food they aren’t eating or she would be mad.
4. The Cullens and Katherine pass each other with a silent acknowledgement.
5. Esme thinks Katherine’s “suggestion” is a great idea and is now happily cooking the food she bought to bring to a food pantry and a soup kitchen in Seattle.   She is very happy to be able to use the kitchen.
6. Meanwhile, Bella is seriously doubting herself, becoming extremely uncertain, and thinking she must have been seeing things and daydreaming too much.

Part 4 (Scene 3): Practically Human

The strange thing was… the Cullens were actually getting good at this.

It started to feel less like practice and more like second nature. They were moving in sync not because of their unnatural instincts, but because they were consciously trying to be imperfect. Emmett had started cracking his knuckles too loudly in class. Alice intentionally mismatched her socks one day. Edward sometimes tapped his pencil too hard. It was all a performance, but it was working.

Ironically, it wasn’t Jasper struggling the most. It was Carlisle .

He had centuries of practice in appearing human. He knew how to smile softly, speak warmly, and wear human mannerisms like a tailored coat. But therein lay the problem. His performance was too perfect, too deliberate. Where the others could fumble their way into realism, Carlisle’s rehearsed behavior now stood out like a spotlight. His inability to “unlearn” the perfect poise and timeless doctor’s calm made him the sore thumb of the group.

On the other hand, Rosalie had it practically down. To everyone's surprise, she was adapting faster than anyone else. She had stopped walking like she was posing for a runway show and instead slouched slightly when leaning on desks. Her facial expressions had become more natural—genuine even. Her only real hang-up was a near-compulsive habit of adjusting her collar or sleeves every ten minutes. But as Emmett pointed out, “Just say it’s anxiety or something. Everyone’s got weird fidgeting quirks.”

Katherine hadn’t made any new biting mental remarks that morning, which the Cullens decided to interpret as a tentative compliment. But Esme had a theory.

“If we really want to understand how she thinks,” Esme had said the night before, “maybe we should meet her in her element.”

And so the next day, Esme and Carlisle went grocery shopping —with Edward tagging along as their translator and social buffer.

They picked a local store near the school where Katherine’s thoughts often wandered to after class. Esme pushed the cart while Carlisle browsed the aisles with practiced ease, though he looked like he was doing a commercial for locally-sourced quinoa.

Katherine was there. Aisle five. Browsing frozen stir-fry.

The moment she noticed them—Esme with her soft eyes and perfect scarf, Carlisle standing tall in a cardigan and khakis, and Edward pretending to examine apples—her thoughts clicked in Edward’s mind:

Oh god, they’re nearly perfect humans now. It’s like watching a wholesome retirement magazine cover shoot. If they’re not donating that food, I swear to god—

Edward suppressed a grin and relayed the mental note as they passed her. Katherine glanced at them briefly, her expression unreadable, before walking past with a casual nod. It was a silent truce of sorts—no mocking, no suspicion. Just acknowledgement.

As they rounded the dairy aisle, Esme was practically glowing. “That’s a wonderful idea,” she said softly to Edward. “We’ll cook it all and bring it to the soup kitchen. I finally get to use the kitchen again!”

Carlisle raised an eyebrow. “You mean you haven’t missed cooking actual food?”

“I’ve missed cooking for people who can eat it ,” she said with a fond smile. “This is the most exciting thing I’ve done in decades.”

That weekend, Esme joyfully prepared full meals from scratch—lasagna, vegetable soup, loaves of fresh bread—and donated them to both a local pantry and a community center in Seattle. Edward helped carry the boxes, occasionally translating for her in public when someone complimented her “generous soul.” Carlisle stayed home and tried practicing loosening his posture with Emmett by watching YouTube videos on “normal dad behavior.”

Meanwhile, Bella was unraveling .

She sat at her desk, head in her hands, flipping through her notes from weeks ago.

The evidence she’d compiled about the Cullens had once seemed airtight. Too pale, too graceful, too synchronized, too odd . But now? Their hair was sometimes messy. They laughed more often. They were relatable , in that intangible, maddening way.

She tried to convince herself that she hadn’t imagined all the weirdness—that Edward’s disappearing act, their weird entrances and exits, the weird reactions to blood—had meant something. But none of it was lining up anymore.

She rubbed her temples and muttered to herself. “Maybe I made it all up. Maybe I’m just... obsessed.”

She tried to shake the thought. Tried to remind herself of the feeling in her gut when she first saw Edward’s eyes go from gold to black. The way Jasper looked like he was going to explode during biology. The way they moved like ghosts. Back then.

But now? Now they were so normal it hurt.

She stared at them from across the cafeteria, unsure whether she was going crazy—or if they had changed. Or worse… if they had adapted.

She didn’t know what to believe anymore. And that was the most frustrating thing of all.

Part 4 (Scene 4): Post-Grocery Debrief – The Unintentional Coach

Back at home, the Cullens gathered in the living room for their usual evening debrief—no blood, all business.

Esme set down a plate of cookies on the coffee table out of pure habit. She’d made them for the pantry, but couldn’t resist baking an extra batch “just for aesthetics.” No one touched them, of course.

Carlisle leaned against the fireplace with a thoughtful look on his face. “That was… surreal.”

“Did she say anything?” Alice asked, sitting cross-legged on the arm of the couch beside Jasper, who was still stiff but noticeably trying to slump.

Edward gave a small smirk. “She said you two looked like a wholesome retirement magazine cover shoot. Oh—and she threatened to be mad if you weren’t donating the food.”

Emmett burst out laughing. “She’s got sass . I like her.”

Rosalie rolled her eyes, though the corner of her mouth twitched. “She’s not wrong.”

“She also noted you’re nearly passing for human now,” Edward added. “Which is high praise, coming from her.”

Esme clapped her hands, delighted. “See? It’s working.”

Carlisle folded his arms. “It’s also a little unsettling that we’re relying on a high schooler’s passive-aggressive thoughts to adjust our centuries-old cover.”

“Better than relying on Bella’s ,” Rosalie muttered.

Edward stiffened just slightly at the name.

Alice noticed. “Bella’s unraveling, huh?”

“She’s second-guessing herself,” Edward confirmed. “She thinks she’s losing it. All the old signs aren’t there anymore, and the new ones are so subtle she’s starting to dismiss them.”

“That’s good, right?” Jasper asked, shifting his weight in a way that was only slightly too calculated. “Less attention means less risk.”

Edward nodded slowly. “Yes, but… she’s becoming obsessed with proving herself right. That makes her more persistent. More… reckless.”

“She’s the kind who gets more determined the more uncertain she is,” Alice added. “It’s a dangerous loop.”

There was a moment of silence as that settled over them.

Then Emmett leaned forward. “So… next phase?”

Edward pulled a notebook out of his back pocket. “She noticed Rosalie doesn’t flick her hair or adjust anything unless she’s specifically angry. Suggested it was unnatural to be so still. So we’ll work on natural unconscious movement. Fidgeting, hair flicking, scratching your face even when nothing itches. The usual.”

Rosalie narrowed her eyes. “I already fidget.”

“You fidget deliberately, ” Edward said with a smirk. “She called it ‘executive fidgeting.’”

Alice burst out laughing. Jasper smiled faintly, the kind of smile that was still new and a bit awkward on him.

“I love her,” Esme said brightly. “She’s helping us fit in and inspiring us to help the community. That girl is wonderful. ”

Carlisle nodded in agreement. “She’s pragmatic, observant, and inadvertently made us all better at pretending to be human. I’m impressed.”

Edward tapped the notebook against his knee. “She doesn’t know how much influence she’s having… which is probably for the best. She’s helping us dodge Bella’s suspicion, and if Bella stays off our trail, then none of this spirals into something worse.”

“Do you think she’ll figure it out eventually?” Alice asked quietly.

Edward stared at the fireplace for a moment. “Not unless we slip up. And we won’t.”

The room settled into a quiet agreement, a strange mixture of gratitude and strategy hanging in the air.

Outside, the wind howled faintly through the trees. Inside, the vampire family continued their nightly rehearsals—tapping fingers, twirling pens, slouching imperfectly. They weren’t actors. Not really.

But thanks to Katherine Reed… they were learning.

Chapter Text

1. The Cullens are unconsciously gravitating towards Katherine, showing up near her, partnering with her for projects, etc. as a side effect of her “coaching” them.
2. And then…Rosalie accidentally befriends her.
3. And suddenly they are getting a lot more direct coaching verbally as off-hand, polite comments to Rosalie rather than the snarky thoughts Edward would read.   (Edward’s a little put out he’s not the only one privy to her super observational nature anymore.)
4. Katherine mentions offhandedly to Rosalie that they should go shopping, noting that it’s getting colder and Katherine didn’t have enough long-sleeved shirts, causing Alice to bounce over.   But when they (as in Katherine and the ENTIRE Cullen clan that decided to tag along) arrive at a high-end boutique, Katherine immediately puts her foot down and drags them all to Target and Boscov’s, introducing them to graphic tees and cheap but comfy sweaters and nice jeans at a low price.
5. Alice is in love and in awe, having been introduced to a whole new world of shopping and clothing that isn’t expensive or designer.
6. Rosalie finds a cool leather jacket she loves.

Part 4 (Scene 5): The Accidental Friendship and the Target Revelation

It started subtly.

Edward noticed it first—because of course he did. One day, Rosalie switched seats in history to sit next to Katherine. The next, Emmett was lingering a bit too long by her locker. Jasper started arriving to class a few minutes early just to pass by her. Even Alice, usually more floaty and aloof, began orbiting Katherine like a cheerful satellite.

They were gravitating .

“I think we’re imprinting,” Emmett joked once at home. No one laughed—mostly because it felt true .

The kicker? Rosalie— Rosalie —accidentally befriended her.

It wasn’t planned. It just… happened. A few polite responses during class. Katherine cracking a sarcastic comment about how their teacher looked like he’d given up on life and how she respected that. Rosalie—who was usually all cutting precision and cold stares—let out a snort . One thing led to another, and now Rosalie was the designated Cullen liaison.

Which meant Edward was no longer the sole recipient of Katherine’s razor-sharp observations.

“She told me I sit like I’m about to go full ‘final boss’ mode in a video game,” Rosalie muttered over lunch, looking mildly betrayed. “She said I should slouch more.”

Edward bristled slightly. “She used to say that to me. Mentally. ”

“Jealousy isn’t cute on you,” Alice teased.

Then it happened.

In the parking lot after school, Katherine turned to Rosalie and said, “Hey, it’s getting cold, and I realized I only have, like, three long-sleeved shirts that aren’t tragic. Want to go shopping or something?”

Before Rosalie could answer, Alice materialized like a summoned spirit. “YES.”

Katherine blinked. “That wasn’t even a question.”

“It is now!” Alice beamed. “Group trip! Everyone’s coming!”

And everyone did . All of them.

Katherine showed up to the designated “boutique,” took one look at the polished windows, pristine mannequins, and $600 cashmere sweaters and said, “Absolutely not.”

Rosalie raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Listen, Blondie,” Katherine said, patting her arm. “You’re going to learn what real shopping is. Field trip: Target and Boscov’s.”

Edward looked mildly alarmed. “Is that a store or a punishment?”

Ten minutes later, the entire Cullen coven was standing in the middle of a Target, staring at rows of graphic tees with confused reverence.

“This place is… amazing,” Alice whispered, clutching a $12 Star Wars sweatshirt. “There’s themes. And color-coding.”

Emmett found a T-shirt that said “Professional Overthinker” and nearly cried laughing.

Katherine tossed him one that read “I’d Agree With You But Then We’d Both Be Wrong.”

“Perfect,” he said solemnly.

Jasper was wandering down the jeans aisle like he’d discovered an entirely new culture. Rosalie, after some initial resistance, found a faux-leather jacket in Boscov’s that made her look cooler , somehow. She muttered something about “not bad for $40” and refused to take it off for the rest of the day.

Edward, trailing behind, watched the chaos unfold. Watching Katherine laughing with Rosalie as they compared jackets. Watching Jasper testing different shoes to see which creaked less. Watching Alice lose her mind over seasonal socks .

He folded his arms, his expression unreadable.

“You okay?” Esme asked quietly, joining him near the fitting rooms.

Edward let out a soft sigh. “I think she’s becoming… part of us.”

Esme smiled. “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

Edward paused, then nodded. “Yeah. Just... wasn’t expecting it.”

And deep down, a quiet voice in his mind whispered the truth:
She’s pulling us into her orbit. Not the other way around.

And for the first time in a while, Edward wasn’t sure who was saving who.

Chapter Text

1. Weeks have passed, with the Cullens’ acting abilities growing more believable by the day.   They have gone from “Forks’ legendarily beautiful and perfect, but slightly weird family(?)” to “that one family that’s REALLY pretty and quite nice, but is also pretty normal”.   They’re BLENDING IN.   They’re SOCIALIZING to keep up the facade that they’re totally human, yup, nothing to see here.   They’re, for all intents and purposes, PRACTICALLY HUMAN.   And they feel like it, too.   They’ve become so good at acting that they feel ALIVE for once.
2. Then, Alice gets a vision.   It’s of Katherine.   More specifically, Katherine’s gory death at the hands of three nomad vampires as she went shopping in Seattle.   Alice’s horrified scream could’ve shattered glass just from the volume, if not the pitch, and the Cullens were singularly fortunate that they were in their house that was deep in the woods and away from civilization.
3. The Cullens immediately have a family meeting to discuss what to do, as they’ve gotten attached to their unintentional human “trainer”.   Alice is shaking as she relays what she saw.   Rosalie asks what would happen if they tracked down the nomads and diverted them.   Alice shakes her head and says that the nomads would only temporarily be diverted and would catch Katherine’s scent while she’s going home with the windows rolled down and would hunt her down for a “last meal” before leaving the area.
4. Alice adds that the only way she could see to save Katherine was if they told her that they were vampires and asked to protect her.   The Cullens are uncertain and there is some arguing about the safety of their secret, but the decision had already been made in their minds: they were too attached to Katherine to let her die so horribly.
5. They make the decision to tell her.

Part 5 – Scene 1

Weeks had passed, and with them, the Cullen family had slipped almost seamlessly into their new roles.

Where once they’d been whispered about as "Forks’ legendarily beautiful and perfect, but slightly weird family(?)," they were now just "that one family that’s REALLY pretty and quite nice, but is also pretty normal."
The whispers had died down. The stares had faded.
They were blending in.
Laughing in hallways. Holding idle conversations about weather and homework. Hosting group study sessions.
They were socializing .

They’d become so good at acting human , it was starting to feel like they were —if not human, then something just adjacent to it.
Something with bloodless smiles and rapid reflexes that could blend in with the cafeteria crowd without raising an eyebrow.

For the first time in a long time, they felt alive .

The illusion shattered the second Alice screamed.

It wasn’t just any scream—it was a raw, ripping sound of pure horror that cracked through the air like a bolt of lightning. If they hadn’t been deep in the woods, the entire neighborhood would’ve thought a murder had just occurred—and it had, at least, in Alice’s vision.

Everyone was in the living room in seconds.

“Alice—?!” Jasper was the first to reach her, arms already around her trembling frame. Her eyes were wide, distant, locked in that terrible, unblinking stare.

Her voice was ragged when she spoke.
“Katherine. She’s going to die.”

The room froze.

“What?” Edward asked sharply.

“In Seattle,” Alice choked out, gripping Jasper tighter. “Three nomads. They catch her alone outside a shop. They tear her apart in the alley behind it. It’s… it’s fast but—it’s bad .”

The silence that followed was suffocating.

Emmett was the first to move, fists clenched. “Can we stop them?”

“I saw Rosalie try,” Alice said quickly. “We divert them for a while. But… they catch her scent when she’s driving back. Windows down. She stops for a red light, and that’s it. They decide she’s a good ‘last meal’ before leaving the area.”

Rosalie, pacing in fury, stopped in her tracks. “What if we keep her inside? Make sure she doesn’t leave that day?”

Alice shook her head again. “Too many ways for her to slip out. Or they catch her another day. This keeps happening . The only vision I’ve seen where she lives—” Her voice broke. “—is if we tell her . That we’re vampires. That we want to protect her.”

The weight of that sentence landed hard.

Carlisle looked grave. “Telling her would risk everything.”

“But not telling her…” Esme whispered, “...means letting her die.”

“We can’t just let that happen,” Rosalie snapped. “Not after everything she’s done. Not after how hard she’s tried to help us fit in.”

“She didn’t even mean to help,” Emmett added. “She just did. And now I actually like being part of this world for once.”

“She didn’t ask for this,” Jasper murmured, arms still wrapped around Alice.

“No,” Edward said quietly. “But neither did we. And look what came of it.”

A long pause. Then Carlisle let out a slow breath. “Are we agreed, then?”

No one answered. They didn’t need to.

The decision had already been made in every heart and mind present.

They were too attached to Katherine to let her die like that.

Chapter Text

1. The next day, Alice nervously asks Katherine to talk after school.   Due to how Alice looked on the verge of tears, Katherine agrees.   They meet up with the Cullens and drive to the Cullen house.   Esme and Carlisle greet them at the door, looking as tense as their children, though still welcoming.
2. As soon as the door shuts, Alice immediately blurts out that they’re vampires, rushing out that they didn’t mean to, but Edward had been reading her mind and using her thoughts to learn how to blend in better, and that they’re so sorry but she’s going to die soon and they can’t let her die and–.   Katherine grabs Alice by the shoulders, tells her to calm down, and leads her to the nearest couch.   After sitting herself and Alice down, the rest of the Cullen family sitting down after, she asks for an explanation.   The Cullens explain.

Part 5 – Scene 2

The next day at school, Alice was visibly shaken.
She didn’t glide like usual.
She twitched . She hovered near Katherine’s locker like a guilty ghost, fingers knotted in the sleeves of her cardigan.

“Katherine?” Her voice was too soft. Cracked. “Can we… talk? After school?”

Katherine turned, immediately catching the glassy sheen in Alice’s eyes, the way her hands trembled ever so slightly.
“Yeah,” she said, concern blooming in her chest. “Of course.”

After school, they didn’t go to a coffee shop. Or the park. Or anywhere in town.

Alice drove.
Katherine sat stiffly in the front seat, trying not to stare at how white-knuckled Alice’s grip was on the steering wheel.

The trees thickened. The silence deepened.
They arrived at a massive, beautiful house nestled deep in the woods.

The rest of the Cullens were already there.

Esme and Carlisle greeted her at the door with strained smiles, both tense yet deeply welcoming. Katherine felt like she’d walked into an intervention—or a funeral.

As the front door shut behind them, Katherine opened her mouth to ask what was going on—

“We’re vampires!” Alice burst out, voice rising in panic. “We didn’t mean to lie! Edward’s been reading your mind—he’s the one who started using your thoughts to figure out how to act better—and we’re so sorry but you’re going to die soon and I saw it and we can’t let you die and—”

“Whoa— hey —” Katherine quickly grabbed Alice’s shoulders. “Breathe. Or—okay, I guess you don’t breathe, whatever. Just— stop . Sit.”

She steered a stunned Alice to the nearest couch.

Then, calmly, like a teacher who’d seen too much chaos to panic, she folded her hands in her lap and said, “All right. Try again. From the top. What the hell is going on?”

The rest of the Cullens—Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie—sat around her in a loose semi-circle, looking like a jury who already knew the verdict.

Carlisle remained standing, but it was he who began.

He spoke gently. “Alice has visions. Yesterday, she saw your death at the hands of three nomadic vampires. It hasn’t happened yet—but it’s coming. And no matter what we try to do to prevent it… the only outcome where you survive is the one where we tell you the truth.”

“Which is what Alice just kind of… screamed at me,” Katherine said, blinking.

“Yes,” Esme said apologetically, perching beside her. “And I know this is a lot. But it’s real.”

Edward nodded. “She wasn’t exaggerating. You’re in danger. And we couldn’t… we can’t let you die.”

“We care about you,” Rosalie added, surprising everyone—including herself.

“And you deserve the truth,” Jasper said quietly. “Even if it’s insane.”

Katherine sat in silence for a long beat. Then:

“So. Let me get this straight,” she said slowly. “You’re telling me that you’re all vampires. Alice sees the future. Edward’s been snooping around in my head —” (Edward winced) “—and because of something I said or thought or whatever, you’ve all been learning to act more human.”

“Yes,” Alice whispered.

“And now I’m going to die.”

“Not if we can help it,” Emmett said firmly.

“Huh.” Katherine blinked. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Edward echoed.

She shrugged. “I mean, it tracks. You’re all weirdly perfect , and I’ve had the sense for weeks that something wasn’t adding up, but I figured it wasn’t any of my business.”

Then she looked at Edward.

“But we are gonna circle back to the whole mind reading thing, buddy.”

Edward looked… guilty.

“Later,” Katherine added, rubbing her temples. “Let me finish freaking out internally first.”

She leaned back into the couch and stared at the ceiling.

Then, flatly: “So, what now?”

Chapter Text

1. After the crazy reveal, Katherine decides to make the best of her situation, keeping close to the Cullens.   While she’s at it, she decides that she might as well teach them how to act human properly, though they’ve got it mostly down.   Just the details, since the details are the most important part of how to act human.
2. On the other hand, Bella is going nuts.   She isn’t any closer to finding out what is going on with the Cullens thanks to their improvements in acting, but she’s getting more weird and obsessed with them.

Part 5 – Scene 3

Katherine processed the whole “you’re gonna die unless we vampire-up and protect you” situation with remarkable grace.

Or, as Edward put it in his thoughts, “a suspicious lack of screaming.”

She didn’t run. She didn’t cry.
She did eat half of Esme’s cookie stash while staring into the middle distance for a few hours, but the Cullens figured that was fair.

After a long night of half-silent conversations, cups of tea (for her), and a crash course in “Vampire 101,” Katherine made a decision.

“Well,” she’d said, standing in their overly fancy kitchen at 2:17 AM, “if I’m already in the middle of this circus, I might as well start charging admission.”

She stuck close to them after that.

Not out of fear—though she was still very aware of the murdery vampire threat—but because she liked them. They’d grown on her. And besides, she reasoned, someone had to make sure Emmett didn’t blow their cover by smashing another vending machine in public.

So, she helped.

She took it upon herself to refine their human act. They were already convincing, but the details ? That’s where they kept tripping.

“Alice, you don’t blink. Like, at all. Please pretend your eyeballs are real.”

“Jasper, if you keep flinching every time someone feels angry, people are gonna think you’re a dog with trauma.”

“Edward. For the love of everything, sit like a normal person . People breathe when they sit. People slouch. People fidget.”

The Cullens listened. Happily. They respected her brutal honesty, and she was frankly the best acting coach they'd ever had—if unlicensed and slightly sarcastic.

Even Rosalie stopped glaring long enough to ask if she should cut her hair for “relatability.”

(“No,” Katherine had replied. “If anything, people trust you more when they assume you’re the hot mean girl from a CW show.”)

Meanwhile, Bella Swan was unraveling like a spool of thread in a washing machine.

The Cullens’ sudden normalcy drove her insane .
They were friendly now. Casual. Charismatic. Approachable , even.

And Katherine? Katherine was in . She was walking with them between classes, sharing lunch tables, and talking to Edward with absolutely zero swooning.

Bella watched it all with a twitch in her eye and a notebook full of wild theories.

She was this close to demanding Edward’s dental records.

None of it made sense. The Cullens had gotten weirder just when they were supposed to get less weird. And Katherine was right there , acting like nothing was out of the ordinary.

It was like watching a play where everyone was in on the plot except her .

Which, technically… they were.

Chapter Text

1. Katherine continues to teach them lessons in humaning, including but not limited to how to fidget while sitting instead of being a statue, how to do makeup imperfectly enough to look like it was done by a person instead of being printed on their face by God, and most importantly, how to NOT PANIC if someone were to accuse you of not being human and how to play it off successfully.
2. She taught them to put on lip balm and wet their lips to make it seem like they were doing something to make their lips as plush looking and perfect as they were.
3. She taught them how to fake a cramp in their fingers when writing.
4. She taught them how to look like they were zoning out during a lecture.
5. She taught them how to fake a subtle stumble over an uneven part of the ground.

Part 5 – Scene 3 (continued)

Katherine, self-declared Professor of Human Studies, had officially taken the Cullens under her wing.

It started simple enough—reminders to blink and slouch and not look like mannequins from a high-end fashion apocalypse.

But once the basics were down, she stepped it up.

“You want to be believable? You have to sell the imperfection ,” she told them during a “training” session in the Cullen living room.

And thus began the next phase: Advanced Humaning .

Lesson 1: How to Fidget like a Real Life Bag of Anxieties

“Normal people don’t sit like statues,” Katherine lectured, walking past Edward as if inspecting a row of suspects.

She poked his shoulder. “Fidget.”

“I don’t fidget,” Edward muttered.

“You do now. Tap your foot. Adjust your sleeve. Pretend you’re rethinking your entire life. Be relatable .”

Edward tried. It was like watching a Victorian ghost attempt method acting. Alice nearly cried laughing.

Lesson 2: The Lip Balm Conspiracy

“You’re all walking around with literal perfect lips. That’s suspicious.”

Katherine handed out tubes of lip balm like a general arming her troops.

“You need to look like you’re maintaining it. Apply it mid-class. Casually. Bonus points if you sigh dramatically while doing it.”

Rosalie blinked. “You want me to sigh dramatically while moisturizing my lips?”

“Yes. Trust me. It’s peak human.”

Lesson 3: Makeup Shouldn’t Look Like It Was Applied by a Divine Being

Alice, bless her immortal soul, had flawless eyeliner. Always.

Too flawless.

Katherine leaned in one day, eyes squinting. “You need to smudge that. A little asymmetry. Imperfect wing. Use your non-dominant hand if you have to.”

“But… it’s perfect.”

“Exactly. Suspiciously perfect.”

The next day, Alice had slightly uneven eyeliner and three compliments from classmates on how “relatable” she looked. She glowed with pride.

Lesson 4: The Stumble

“Humans trip. You should too,” Katherine said, demonstrating a perfect, casual, not-too-flashy toe catch on uneven gravel.

Emmett immediately tried to replicate it and fell like a tree being felled.

Jasper followed… and actually nailed it.

Katherine gave him a high five. “Congratulations. You’ve unlocked Awkward Sophomore Energy .”

Lesson 5: Zoning Out in Class

This one was harder than expected. The Cullens were too sharp, too aware, too undead .

“You gotta look like your soul left your body through your eyes,” Katherine said, eyes glazed as she demonstrated the expression of someone halfway to astral projecting during a boring lecture.

Esme gasped. “Oh dear, are you alright?”

“See?” Katherine smiled. “Believable.”

Bonus Lesson: Don’t. Panic.

“But what if someone does accuse us?” Jasper asked one evening, worried.

“Pfft. Easy,” Katherine said, grinning. “You laugh it off. Say, ‘Oh no, I sparkle because I bought this highlighter from Sephora and it went nuclear.’ Or, ‘I’m pale because I haven’t gone outside since 2017, like every other nerd.’”

She leaned back smugly. “Humor disarms suspicion. Play it off, redirect, act insulted in a chill way.”

Edward blinked. “You're frighteningly good at this.”

Katherine raised her lip balm in salute. “Thank you. Years of being the weirdest one in school.”

Despite the oddity of it all, the Cullens genuinely improved. They felt more human than ever before.

And as Jasper pointed out later, watching Emmett fake a hand cramp during a pop quiz:
“If she keeps this up, we’re going to accidentally become real people.”

Chapter Text

1. On the other hand, Bella isn’t any closer than before, and is in fact, getting further and further away from reaching the conclusion of “the Cullens are vampires”.   Her current theory is that they are angels of God sent down to earth for some reason or another.
2. She’s watching with frightening intensity but can’t find anything wrong with their behavior due to Katherine’s lessons in “How to Human: Advanced Course”
3. The Cullens are blending in near perfectly with the rest of the Forks population except for the obvious fact of their incredible beauty, which makes them very proud of themselves.

Part 5 – Scene 4: Bella’s Angel Theory

If Bella Swan had been obsessed with the Cullens before, now she was possessed .

She watched them like a hawk. A very lovestruck, conspiracy-driven hawk.

The problem? There was nothing wrong with them anymore. Not a twitch. Not a stumble. Not a flicker of too-perfect, too-frozen behavior. Just five ethereal-looking teenagers… being completely normal .

Too normal.

Which, to Bella, could only mean one thing.

“They’re angels,” she whispered one day during lunch, eyes wide as she watched Alice laugh at something Jasper said while fiddling with a friendship bracelet on her wrist.

Angela blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“ Angels , Angela. From Heaven .”

Angela stared. “Because… they laugh and wear bracelets?”

Bella leaned in like she was about to reveal national secrets. “Because they’re perfect. Because they’re kind, and beautiful, and mysterious, and they glow , Angela. They glow . You saw it, right? That shimmer on Edward’s cheek last week?”

“Highlighter?” Angela offered weakly.

“No. Celestial radiation.”

Angela slowly turned back to her tray of tater tots, clearly reconsidering her friendship choices.

Meanwhile, across the cafeteria, the Cullens were thriving .

Katherine leaned back in her seat, barely holding in laughter as Edward whispered Bella’s new “angel” theory to the family.

“ Angels ?” Emmett snorted. “Oh man, that’s rich. Does this make me the Angel of Dumb Decisions?”

Rosalie rolled her eyes but smirked. “You’re more like the Angel of ‘Hold My Beer.’”

Alice, meanwhile, was positively glowing with pride.

“We’re blending in , you guys. Like— really blending in. I didn’t see this coming, but wow. It’s working.”

Katherine wiggled her eyebrows and mimed a dramatic mic drop with her water bottle. “You’re welcome.”

Carlisle, passing by with a book in hand, chuckled. “You might want to trademark your class, Katherine. ‘How to Human: Advanced Course’ could make a fortune.”

Even Edward, usually so somber, allowed himself a grin.

He could hear Bella’s thoughts bouncing from angelic purpose to divine mission to “maybe they’re fallen angels, but like, the good kind,” and for once… it wasn’t a problem.

She was further away from the truth than ever before.

It wasn’t just a win. It was a miracle.

Chapter Text

1. One day, Katherine, Esme, Alice, and Rosalie go shopping in Seattle.   While they are going to their car, they see Bella about to be cornered by a bunch of frat boys and rescue her.   They drop Bella off with her friends, who had been worried about her.
2. Katherine is now driving them home without Bella, with Rosalie glaring out the window from the passenger seat and Esme on the same side of the car, but in the back seat, staring out with pursed lips.   Alice is frowning out the opposite side window after texting Jasper something.   Unbeknownst to Katherine, Alice, Esme, and Rosalie were currently staring down the three nomads that Alice had seen from her vision that had killed Katherine—James, Victoria, and Laurent.   The text Alice had sent had been to ask Jasper to get Carlisle, Emmett, and Edward head off the three nomads and to politely tell the three that their activities were starting to be noticed by the humans and they should probably leave while the girls made sure the three didn’t try to attack the car for Katherine.
3. Luckily, because the Cullens had become friends with Katherine and the girls had been with her, Katherine was protected from dying and Alice’s vision of her dying was avoided.

Part 5 – Scene 5: A Close Call in Seattle

The bright city lights of Seattle cast long shadows over the parking lot, giving the evening an almost ethereal glow. Katherine, Esme, Alice, and Rosalie had just finished a successful shopping spree. Bags loaded into the trunk of their car, they were chatting about the latest trends when they heard a disturbance ahead—shouting, laughter, and the unmistakable sound of a confrontation in progress.

Katherine was the first to spot Bella, standing nervously by a black sedan, surrounded by a group of frat boys who were clearly trying to take things too far. Bella, caught off guard, was backing away, her body language screaming trapped .

Without a second thought, Alice, Rosalie, and Katherine were already moving.

“Hold on,” Alice said, her voice sharp as she sped up, her eyes scanning the scene. “I’ll get their attention.”

Before Rosalie could even roll down her window, Alice had already slipped out of the car and was striding toward the group. Her movements were fluid and commanding, a stark contrast to the stumbling awkwardness the boys seemed to radiate. They barely noticed her approach until she was too close.

“What’s the problem here?” Alice asked, her tone clipped and almost too sweet, but the effect was immediate. The boys stopped laughing and turned to look at her.

Katherine, not one to stand by when someone she cared about was in danger, followed Alice’s lead and walked directly into the circle of men, radiating confidence.

Rosalie, just as sharp and fierce, took a defensive position by the car, her eyes already assessing the situation, her gaze hard.

“Nothing,” one of the frat boys mumbled, but his nervous twitch gave him away. “We were just talking to her. No harm meant.”

“I don’t think so,” Katherine replied coolly. “It looks like you were making her uncomfortable.”

The leader of the group—the one who had been talking the most—faltered under Katherine’s piercing stare. Her eyes weren’t the typical human reaction of fear or hesitance. They were calm . Ice cold.

“We don’t need any problems,” he said, backing off. “We were just messing around.”

“No,” Rosalie interrupted, her voice silky but with a dangerous edge. “You were about to corner her. Now, apologize.”

The boys, cowed by the group of women who were anything but intimidated, mumbled out half-hearted apologies before scurrying away. Bella, still a little dazed from the near-attack, stood frozen but then exhaled a relieved breath.

“Thank you,” she whispered, but her gaze lingered a little too long on Rosalie’s and Katherine’s faces. It was clear the realization was hitting her that these weren’t ordinary girls. Not even close.

Alice smiled, her demeanor suddenly lighter. “No problem. Just stay with your friends, okay? We’ll take it from here.”

As the frat boys dispersed, Alice slipped back into the car, her phone already buzzing with a message from Jasper. The moment the door clicked shut, the tension of the last few minutes seemed to dissolve—though the air was still thick with the unspoken words, the danger that was about to unfold.

Katherine slid into the driver’s seat, her mind still whirring from the encounter. “You all okay?” she asked, glancing at Rosalie and Alice, then at Esme in the back seat, who had been silently observing.

“I’m fine,” Rosalie said curtly, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring out the window. “I just don’t like being interrupted.”

Alice shot Rosalie a quick, almost apologetic look. “I just wanted to make sure the situation didn’t get out of hand. We don’t want to attract attention.”

“Too late for that,” Esme murmured, her voice low and quiet. She stared out the window, her lips pursed as she assessed the entire situation. The calm demeanor she usually carried was tinged with something darker, something almost protective .

Katherine felt the weight of their gaze but didn’t think much of it. Not until she noticed the faint tension in the air—the almost invisible shifts in their posture. Alice, who had been furiously texting the moment they were in the car, had a deep frown on her face.

A moment later, Alice let out a small sigh of relief. “I’ve got a plan. I’ve texted Jasper. He’s on his way with Carlisle, Emmett, and Edward. They’ll intercept the nomads.”

Katherine raised an eyebrow. “Nomads?”

Esme’s expression hardened, her eyes darkening. “The ones Alice saw.”

It clicked in Katherine’s mind, and her stomach clenched. “James, Laurent, and Victoria?”

Alice nodded, her face pale. “They’re dangerous. I saw them the night I had the vision of you… of your death. They were the ones who were going to kill you.”

Katherine’s breath caught. “I was that close?”

Alice gave her a strained smile. “Closer than you know.”

“Why don’t we just leave? You said they’d leave once they realized we knew about them,” Katherine suggested, trying to process it all, her fingers tightening on the steering wheel.

“I wish we could, but they’re already here, and if we just try to run, they might decide to hunt us anyway,” Rosalie added. “They’re not going to let us leave without a fight, Katherine.”

The car fell silent as the severity of the situation settled in.

Alice took a breath, steadying herself. “We’ll keep our distance and be careful. We’re not letting them near you. They don’t know the real power behind us… but I want to make sure it stays that way.”

“Jasper’s good at staying under the radar,” Esme added, her voice a calming presence, though the tension still hung in the air. “We just have to make sure they understand we’re not easy targets.”

Katherine nodded, trying to center herself. “Alright, then. We do this, and we get out of here.”

Rosalie’s gaze never left the road ahead, her face stony. “The girls and I will keep watch. You and Alice focus on getting to the others.”

And then, out of nowhere, the air in the car seemed to change. It became charged, taut with danger—danger that was heading straight for them.

Katherine tried not to look in the rearview mirror, but she couldn’t help herself. She could feel something lurking in the distance, something that promised trouble.

“We’ll be fine,” Alice said, her voice soft but reassuring. “But we need to act fast.”

As the car wound its way out of Seattle, Katherine knew the stakes had just gotten higher—and her life was no longer the only one at risk.

Chapter Text

1. Jasper, Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle intercept the nomads and politely ask them (subtly) to leave Washington state, as their hunting activities have started being noticed by the humans.
2. The nomads are a bit reluctant to leave, but the Cullens are subtly and politely stubborn, so the nomads leave Washington.

Part 5 – Scene 6: A Polite Warning

The clearing was quiet—unnaturally so. A soft fog curled along the mossy forest floor, muting the rich green of the Washington trees. Jasper stood at the edge of the small glade, posture relaxed but alert, his golden eyes watching the three approaching figures with quiet calculation.

To his left stood Carlisle, calm and steady as always, exuding the kind of peace only centuries of practiced diplomacy could bring. Emmett, broad and imposing, leaned back slightly against a tree, his arms folded, the picture of easy intimidation. And Edward, tense but controlled, kept his gaze locked on the newcomers, reading their every thought before a word was spoken.

The nomads emerged from the trees in a staggered line—James first, walking with a predator’s ease, Victoria ghosting behind him, her red hair striking in the dim light, and Laurent flanking the rear with a cautious gaze.

“Well,” James said, his smile more a baring of teeth than anything pleasant. “What a warm welcome.”

“We try our best,” Carlisle replied mildly. “Thank you for meeting us.”

Laurent inclined his head slightly. “Carlisle. It’s been a long time.”

“Too long,” Carlisle said gently. “And I wish it were under different circumstances.”

Victoria said nothing, eyes flitting restlessly between Edward and Emmett, already cataloging weaknesses that weren’t there.

Jasper stepped forward slightly, his Southern drawl light but firm. “We’ve noticed an uptick in disappearances. The kind that draw attention.”

James raised an eyebrow, clearly unbothered. “We’re just passing through. A few meals here and there.”

Edward’s voice was soft but pointed. “The problem is, humans are noticing. They’ve begun whispering about things they shouldn’t. You know what happens when that starts.”

Laurent shifted uncomfortably. “We didn’t intend to cause trouble.”

“And yet, you have,” Jasper said, voice polite, but the steel underneath unmistakable.

Carlisle stepped in then, his calm presence diffusing the building tension like a balm. “We don’t want conflict. But we are very protective of this region. It’s taken decades to build what we have here. The people in Forks are… aware, in the way that matters. They notice patterns. They remember.”

James narrowed his eyes slightly. “You’re asking us to leave.”

“No,” Jasper said. “We’re telling you. Nicely.”

There was a long silence.

Victoria’s mouth curled, clearly displeased, but she didn’t speak.

Laurent, ever the diplomat among the three, finally gave a slight sigh. “We had no idea the area was this tightly watched. We’ll move on.”

James looked at him sharply, clearly unhappy with the easy concession, but Carlisle’s quiet gaze pinned him in place. Even the hunter in James understood what wasn’t being said— this wasn’t a request, and he wasn’t the most dangerous one in this forest.

Edward, still silent, let his presence fill the space—reading their thoughts, pushing back with the weight of his own quiet fury at the near-miss with Katherine. Emmett cracked his knuckles in a slow, idle rhythm, still leaning against the tree like he had all the time in the world.

“Fine,” James said at last, though it sounded more like a growl. “We’ll find somewhere else.”

“Thank you,” Carlisle said gently. “Safe travels.”

The nomads slowly turned and vanished into the trees, shadows melting into shadows.

When they were gone, Emmett let out a breathless laugh. “God, they were so close to starting something. I was ready.”

“You’re always ready,” Jasper muttered.

Carlisle just smiled faintly. “Let’s hope they keep moving and don’t come back.”

Edward, still staring into the trees, spoke softly. “They won’t forget her.”

Jasper’s jaw tensed. “No. But we’ll be ready if they come back.”

Chapter Text

1. The Cullens regroup in the Cullen house and Alice reassures everyone that the nomads are gone with no intention of returning.   They are all relieved.
2. However, Bella, who has returned home, has read the Quileute book that she had bought and has now found out that the Cullens are vampires.   She doesn’t believe it at first, but she eventually does.
3. A few days later, she firmly believes that they are vampires almost purely on their beauty and pale skin—she’s holding onto strings, trying to figure out what they are, and she just so happened to grab the right one.
4. She goes and confronts Edward, and Edward, unfortunately, tosses all of Katherine’s lessons out of the window and panics, thereby confirming Bella’s accidental theory.
5. When his siblings find out, they are not happy.   Rosalie is not happy with him for ruining all their work.

Part 5 – Scene 7: The String She Grabbed

The Cullen house was unusually still, sunlight filtering gently through the trees and casting pale gold lines across the floor. The family had gathered in the living room after Alice had delivered the good news: the nomads were gone. No lingering threats, no shadowy returns. Katherine was safe. The mood had shifted to one of cautious relief.

Esme had brewed her usual comforting tea—for scent alone, of course—and Carlisle was calmly reading near the fireplace. Even Rosalie was less tense, casually flipping through a fashion magazine while Katherine and Alice exchanged quiet banter on the couch.

That peace was shattered when Edward came storming through the front door.

The entire room went still. Katherine blinked, eyes flicking from Edward’s frantic pacing to his wild, conflicted expression.

“What,” Rosalie said flatly, lowering her magazine, “did you do?”

Edward ran a hand through his hair. “Bella knows.”

Silence.

“What do you mean she knows?” Alice asked, rising to her feet.

“She read something about the Quileute legends… guessed we were vampires…” he trailed off, guilt and dread bleeding into every word. “And then she confronted me.”

“And you confirmed it? ” Rosalie snapped, now standing too. “Please tell me you didn’t just admit it.”

“I panicked!”

“You idiot! ” she hissed, storming toward him. “We’ve spent weeks learning to blend in. Katherine has been coaching us like we’re the cast of a sitcom trying to pass as real people. We had her believing we were angelic missionaries, and you go and panic?! ”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“No, of course you didn’t. That’s the problem. ” She turned, exasperated. “You’re not even the one who got the best acting notes and you still ruined it. ”

Katherine raised a hand timidly. “Wait. So she guessed you were vampires because of your beauty and skin tone?”

Edward nodded grimly.

“...Wow. And she was right? That’s—impressively lucky, actually.”

“No, it’s not lucky!” Rosalie snapped. “It’s a disaster. One slip-up and she puts it together because she’s fixated. What happens now? Is she going to go around telling people?”

“She said she wouldn’t,” Edward murmured.

“That means absolutely nothing!” Rosalie shot back. “Humans are notoriously bad at keeping secrets. Especially obsessive, starry-eyed ones.”

Jasper entered the room, drawn by the raised voices. “What happened?”

“Bella found out,” Alice said, rubbing her temples.

“And Edward told her, ” Rosalie added, practically spitting the words.

Jasper gave Edward a long, unreadable look. “I can feel your guilt from here.”

“Great,” Rosalie muttered. “Maybe you can also feel how hard I want to throw him through a wall.”

“ Enough, ” Carlisle finally said, voice calm but firm. “What’s done is done. We’ll have to talk to Bella. Make sure she understands the seriousness of this secret.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Edward offered.

“No,” Rosalie said quickly. “You’ll mess it up more. ”

Alice sighed, glancing at Katherine. “We should’ve let you give him the extended course.”

Katherine held up her hands. “Hey, I assumed ‘don’t panic when confronted’ was basic advice. I gave that to all of you.”

“I didn’t think she’d actually figure it out,” Edward muttered.

“She didn’t,” Jasper replied. “She guessed. And you confirmed it. That’s not on her.”

A beat passed.

Then Rosalie, pinching the bridge of her nose, said, “Well, this ruins the week.”

Katherine crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “You know, I was going to suggest we move on to ‘How to Look Like You’ve Slept in the Last 24 Hours’ next… but maybe we need a crash course in crisis control instead.”

Everyone groaned.

Chapter Text

1. The current plan that the Cullens have decided on for crisis control? Gaslight the shit out of Bella into believing she hallucinated the entire talk with Edward.
2. Esme quickly cooked up a big feast.   They snapped a family picture, edited it, and backdated it a few hours to overlap the time Bella had been with Edward.
3. The next day, when Bella tries to talk with Edward and the rest of the Culen kids about their vampirism, they gaslight her, saying they had no idea what she was talking about and they had been at home having dinner.   They concernedly ask if Bella was feeling okay because it looked like she hadn’t slept in a while and maybe it was a dream.
4. Bella is left kind of confused.
5. They keep gaslighting her every time she tries to talk to them about it, putting Katherine’s lessons in playing off vampirism into use.   Sparkling in the sun = highlighter (which Alice did put on in a bit of excess).   Eye-colors changing = bronzy colored contacts that look lighter or darker with different lighting (Rosalie took a contact out of her eye to prove it).   Super speed and strength = “don’t be ridiculous, Bella, I’m barely faster than the average person—you saw me completing the pacer test before.”

Scene: The Gaslight Dinner

Bella woke up with a jolt. The conversation from the day before still echoed in her head.

"Say it."
"Vampires."

Her heart had been pounding all night, and now that morning had come, she was determined to confront them again—get confirmation, get proof . She marched up to the Cullens at school, Edward standing among his siblings as though nothing had happened.

“Edward,” she said, voice sharp, “we need to talk.”

Edward blinked at her, his face the picture of innocent confusion. “About what?”

“You know what,” she hissed.

Alice turned from her locker. “Bella?” Her tone was light, friendly, confused. “Are you okay? You look... kind of pale.”

“I—” Bella faltered. “Edward told me. Yesterday. That you’re vampires.”

The air around them stilled just for a second. Then—

Emmett burst into laughter. “Vampires? Wow, I knew those pale-skin jokes would catch up to me eventually.”

Rosalie rolled her eyes with theatrical irritation. “Seriously, Bella?”

“But he said—”

“We were home yesterday,” Esme’s voice was warm but firm. “All of us.”

Alice pulled out her phone. “Look.” She flipped it around to show a group photo at the dinner table. Edward was in the background holding a breadstick like a cigar while Carlisle pretended to be offended by the marinara. The timestamp glowed innocently on the corner of the image.

Bella stared. “That’s...”

“Last night,” Alice said, cheerfully. “Right around six. You sure you didn’t dream it? I’ve had weird stress dreams, too. Once I thought I was a witch who married a werewolf in Reno. Finals week, y’know?”

Edward stepped in then, his eyes carefully wide with concern. “Bella, you’ve looked so tired lately. Maybe you imagined it? I mean... we’re just normal people.” His voice was soft, soothing, practiced.

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at Bella with faux worry. “Are you sleeping okay? Maybe you’ve been reading too much?”

Bella’s head spun. “But—but you sparkle.”

Alice immediately pulled a tiny, glittery makeup compact from her purse. “Highlighter. Urban Decay, technically. I went a little hard on it yesterday. Here—look.” She rubbed a little on the back of Bella’s hand. Shimmery. Sparkling. Damning.

“And your eyes—”

“Contacts.” Rosalie popped one out and held it up, bronzy and iridescent. “Mine shift in different light. It's not that weird. Got them online.”

Bella looked to Edward. He smiled, calm and even. “Bella, I’d never lie to you.”

“But... you said—”

He gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re remembering right? I think you might’ve just had a really vivid dream.”

Emmett leaned in, mock-whispering. “Is it because we’re all too hot? That’s not supernatural, that’s just genetics, Bella.”

The bell rang. Alice squeezed Bella’s arm gently. “If you want, I can lend you something to help with sleep. Melatonin gummies?”

They scattered to class, leaving Bella standing in the hallway, mind reeling. Had she dreamed it? Had she hallucinated?

Back in the classroom, the Cullens were texting under the desks.

Alice: she’s spiraling lol
Rosalie: i swear to god if she ruins this AGAIN
Emmett: mission gaslight: successful
Edward: i hate all of you
Jasper: she’s confused enough. might want to tone it down for a day
Esme: <sent photo of cookies she “baked” for dinner #evidence>

Meanwhile, Katherine sat three rows ahead, smirking faintly to herself.

She did tell them the details were the most important part.

Chapter Text

1. The Cullens continue gaslighting her over the next few weeks, gradually Pavlov-ing her into making up excuses to herself whenever she saw any of their slight slip-ups from hiding their vampirism (like when they forget to blink or blink too quickly = zoning out or something stuck in their eye (Rosalie asks to go to the bathroom knowing Bella would follow, takes out one of her color contacts, cleans it, and pops it back in before going back to class, leaving Bella very conflicted), Emmett in the library at lunch = he’s not hungry).
2. She eventually drops the topic.
3. The Cullens quietly celebrate.

Scene: Weeks Later — The Final Stage of Operation: Gaslight Swan

The air in the Cullen house practically buzzes with smug victory. The dining table is set for a fake dinner again—just for practice at this point. Empty plates. Sparkling apple cider. One of Esme’s casseroles that no one will eat.

Rosalie, brushing her perfect golden hair in the mirror, smirks.
“She didn’t even flinch when Emmett grabbed the entire vending machine last week and carried it to the gym to ‘help the janitor.’”

“She told Jessica it was probably one of those new vending machines on wheels,” Alice says proudly, flipping through her color-coded “Public Interaction Error Log.”

Katherine, sitting with her legs folded on the couch and a textbook open in her lap, raises her brows. “You guys are scary good at this.”

“ We learned from the best, ” Esme says sweetly, placing a perfectly folded napkin on the table that no one will use.

Edward paces behind the couch, still guilt-ridden. “You’re all acting like it’s over. What if she remembers? What if she tells Charlie?”

“We have literal proof you were here that night,” Alice chirps, holding up her phone. “And she liked the dinner photo. On Instagram. With a caption.”

Emmett strolls by, earbuds in, bobbing his head. “Besides, I told Mike Newton I saw Bella talking to a tree that day. The guy already believed me. Poor girl’s now known as ‘Leaf Girl’ in gym class.”

Rosalie grins. “Justice.”

Cut to: Bella at home, sitting at her desk, flipping through her Quileute legend book for the 17th time.

She pauses at the vampire section. Her eyes narrow.

“No. No, it couldn’t be. I saw him sparkle, but... Alice said she uses holographic highlighter. That checks out. And Rosalie’s contacts were totally real. She even let me touch them. That felt real. Maybe I did imagine it.”

She flips the page.

“…Besides, they were literally at dinner. There's a picture. Edward tagged it #FamilyFeastNight.”

She sighs and closes the book.

Back at the Cullen house, Carlisle lifts a glass of untouched apple cider.

“To Katherine. Who saved our immortal asses.”

They clink glasses.

“Operation Gaslight Swan is complete,” Alice says with pride.

Edward winces but raises his glass anyway.

Katherine blinks at them, wide-eyed. “Okay, but what if she figures it out again?”

Alice shrugs. “Then we go to Plan B.”

Everyone turns to look at her.

“…What’s Plan B?” Katherine asks slowly.

Alice smiles ominously. “Mass amnesia. Rosalie’s already researching FDA-compliant memory loss drugs.”

Rosalie nods seriously. “And hypnosis. For ethical reasons.”

Everyone stares.

“…Kidding,” Alice says, sipping her drink. “Mostly.”

Chapter Text

1. Bella eventually throws away the book, which is exactly what Alice had been waiting for, and believes that the Cullens are just really beautiful, kind of eccentric people.
2. The Cullens can finally continue their lessons in humaning, practicing and refining their acting, like pretending large items over 30 lb actually have some sort of weight and “asking” for help if an item is “too big” or “too heavy” to move.

Scene: Bella’s Room – Late Night

Bella sits cross-legged on the floor, staring at the worn copy of Quileute Legends and Creatures . Her eyes flick across the underlined sections— cold ones , sparkling skin , inhuman strength .

She sighs. “They can't be vampires. Vampires don’t go to Forks High and awkwardly pretend to eat muffins in the cafeteria.”

She gets up, walks to the trash can, and unceremoniously tosses the book in .

Cut to: Alice’s bedroom , where she sits bolt upright on her fainting couch.

“She did it,” Alice whispers, eyes glowing. “She threw it out.”

From downstairs:
“YES!” Emmett’s voice echoes through the halls.

Scene: Cullen Living Room – Humaning Training, Level 2

The Cullens stand in a semi-circle like they’re in a rehearsal for a weird community theater play. A large cardboard box labeled STAGED WEIGHT: 42 LBS sits center stage.

Carlisle holds a clipboard. “Okay team, today’s lesson: feigned struggle with inanimate objects. We’ll go around clockwise. Remember—subtle grunts, light trembling, optional knee bend.”

Jasper steps forward. “Do we include ‘asking for help’ this time?”

“Yes,” Esme says. “Katherine said humans bond over mild helplessness. Vulnerability = relatability.”

Jasper sighs. “Fine.” He squints at the box and announces flatly:
“Hey... could someone... uh... help me with this?”

Everyone stares.

“Again,” Rosalie snaps. “And this time, imagine you’re human and you care .”

Jasper clenches his jaw. “I don’t even know how heavy forty pounds feels. ”

Katherine pokes her head in from the kitchen, deadpan:
“It’s two gallons of milk in each arm and then a toddler throwing a tantrum on your hip.”

“Ah,” Jasper nods, then:
“Hey, uh, someone help me with this? It’s kinda heavy.”

Edward jumps in with his own exaggerated lift, knees bending, forehead creased. “I’ve got it—ow—can you get the other side?”

“Beautiful,” Alice beams. “That’s Oscar-bait right there.”

Scene: Forks High – Next Day

Bella sees Emmett near the gym, struggling to pick up a stack of folding chairs.

“Hey, Emmett, do you need hel—?”

He grunts with theatrical precision. “No, no, I got it. These... things are just... heavier than they look, y’know?”

She blinks. “Right…”

Emmett stumbles slightly. “Leg day,” he wheezes. “Totally skipped leg day.”

Bella chuckles awkwardly and walks away, shaking her head.

“Just weird people,” she mutters. “But nice.”

Back at the Cullen House

Rosalie clicks a stopwatch. “Nine seconds of hesitation before she offered help. She bought it.”

Katherine bites into a cookie. “You guys are terrifying.”

Carlisle grins. “We're just dedicated.”

Edward sits back on the couch, looking more relaxed than he has in weeks.

“She doesn’t suspect a thing.”

Alice sips her sparkling water. “For now.”