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𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Summary:

INTRODUCTION

The precious moments in the old selves.
Our memories are relapsing compulsively.
The chained painful past spins in our minds.
Changing identities just to forge the other version of ourselves to cover the past.

Stained clothes and bedsheets tainted the pain and tension.
The sensual voices that serenaded us ascended in the sky.
Is it possible to bring it back even when our hearts are torn and bleeding?

But still our neutron screamed
And I picture that you are my destiny, even though I gaslight myself that I'm moving on.
But I'm not. Because I'm still choosing you.

So I hope you enjoy the story and leave your comments.

Thank you for reading!

LETTER OF CREDIT

Special thanks to Claire for proofreading and editing some of the chapters, as there are some corrections. Eli, thanks for urging me to make fanfictions. This is my first collaboration with Larisa Day, themed "Sweet and Sensual".

The chairman of the Larisarian Academy,

FlowerJustice

Notes:

DISCLAIMER

This fanfiction is dramatic, angst, hurt/comfort, and sweet and sensual. This is the first time I've made a long fanfiction. Since it's rare to have dramatic moments between Lars and Alisa, I made this element. Note, this is an Alternative Universe, so Alisa is a human in this story, and they're all of the legal age of the characters I used. Also, the other characters have side stories as well.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: 𔘓 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏- 𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐚'𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐩𝐬𝐞

Chapter Text

ALISA’S POV

 

After our last night together, I couldn't help but sob in pain.

 

 "Lars… I'm sorry. I love you, but we need to part ways. I have to go back to my country. I know it's hard, but this is for the best."

 

 "Don't leave me like this, Alisa!" His voice shook as he battled to contain his emotions.  "I know we have our dreams to chase, but I can wait for you—no matter how long, no matter how far."

 

His eyes pleaded with me, filled with pain. "Are you sure? Even if it feels impossible for us to see each other again?"

 

"Anything is possible, Alisa… We can still talk online—"

 

I cut him off while shaking my head.  "Lars, I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you waiting for me like a hopeless dreamer. We need to end this. But these memories…" 

 

My voice shook as fresh tears ran down.  "I'll cherish them forever. I love you, but I can't let you hold on to a future that may never come."

 

 He went silent, his shoulders trembling.  Then, with a pained resolve, he drew me closer one last time, leaving more marks on my flesh as reminders of what we once had. 

 

I cried, unable to contain the pain that was eating me. 

 

It hurt. 

 

It felt as if a piece of me was being taken away. But I needed to be strong. 

 

I needed to let go.



- PRESENT - 

 

I sat alone in a coffee cafe, staring at my untouched cup.  My thoughts whirled, lost in the past, as I glanced through my notes.  I had been working furiously on my final capsule project, which was the final step before graduating from Tech School in Russia.

 

 Regardless of my accomplishments, my heart remained connected to the folks I left behind in Japan.  I missed my buddies, Lili, Asuka, Miharu, and Xiaoyu.  I could still hear Lili's delighted voice as she suited me up for my date with Lars, Asuka's never-ending disagreements with her, Miharu's selfie fixation, and Xiaoyu's hidden crush confessions.  It was all so vivid, yet so depressing.

 

Time had flown.  Graduation has come and gone.  My father was pleased of me, saying I had transformed into a completely different person.  Now I was on a trip back to Japan, not for nostalgia, but for a business event with technology developments and displays.

 

I assured myself that this was just another business trip and nothing more.  Yet, deep down, a small, dumb part of me wished for something—or someone.

 

Stop it, Alisa.  Focus.  This is only work.  No distractions.  Just shit and giggles.

 

 My phone instantly vibrated.  I picked it up.

 

"Hello?"

 

 "Alisa!"

 

 Xiaoyu's voice was cheerful, comforting, and nostalgic.  "We're planning a reunion with our college friends. Do you want to come? We miss you!"

 

 "Oh, it's you, Xiao." I paused, looking over my crowded agenda.  "I don't know… I'm really busy with work. I don't think I can make it."

 

 "Shut up. I know exactly where you are."

 

 "Wait, what?" My brow raised.  "What do you mean—"

 

Before I could finish, everything went dark.  My surroundings blurred.  Hands grasped me and carried me away.  I scarcely heard an engine blast to life.

 

 Am I being kidnapped?!

 

 I urged myself to be calm.  Okay, Alisa.  Don't be alarmed if anything unexpected occurs.  Think.

 

 "Hey! What the hell are you doing?! Who are you? Is this some kind of prank?" I pushed against their grip, but they did not react.  "How did you even get inside the convention?"

 

 Silence.

 

 After what seemed like hours, the truck came to a halt.  I was carried again, my vision still obscured.  When the blindfold was removed, dazzling lights temporarily blinded me.

 

 "Surprise! We found you!"

 

 I blinked.  My friends stood before me.

 

"You've got to be kidding me," I mumbled.

 

 "Who planned this?!" My gaze fell on Xiaoyu.  "Xiao, why would you—"

 

 She pointed to someone else.  "It wasn't me. It was Lili."

 

 Lili smiled mischievously. "Ah…uh… guilty as charged!"  "Come on, Alisa. You work too much. You needed a break, so I made a few calls. Voila! You're officially on vacation."

 

 My jaw fell.  "What do you mean?! Do you have connections at my job?!"

 

 Lili tossed her hair.  "Obviously. I made sure you got time off. No need to thank me."

 

"Lili! I have responsibilities! I can't just take a random vacation!" Frustration filled my chest. "My career is my priority! Just because I don't take breaks doesn't mean I need to be—"

 

 "Blah, blah, blah." Lili rolled her eyes.  "Alisa, you only ever think about work. Don't tell me…"

 

 "Yes! I'm single! And I'm proud of it!" I exclaimed.  "My passion is my life. I want to follow in my father's footsteps, and you're all ruining that by dragging me here for a damn vacation!"

 

 Xiaoyu moved forward, her countenance softening.  "Alisa… we know how dedicated you are. But you're exhausted. You look… empty. Your eyes don't shine like they used to."

 

 I opened my mouth to argue but failed.

 

She was correct.  Years have passed, and the Alisa they once knew has changed...  All due to a breakup.

 

 "Xiao…" My voice faltered.  "I broke up with him before I left for Russia. I made my choice. I moved on."

 

 But the weight in my chest spoke another story.  The pain I had buried so deeply returned, and for the first time in years, I let my tears flow freely.

 

 Xiaoyu and Lili drew me into a reassuring embrace.

 

 "If I could go back…I would." My voice trembled.  "But it's too late."

 

 Xiaoyu gently dried my tears.  "Don't assume, Alisa. You'll see him at the reunion."

 

A lump developed in my throat.  "And if I don't?"

 

 Lili smiled.  "Then at least you tried. That's all that matters."

 

Somehow, her words felt like a challenge.

 

And maybe… I wasn’t ready to let go just yet.