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"I know they're lying when they tell me it gets better..." Marinette huffs, glaring harshly at the trapdoor. She wheels away from her parents arguing, sighing tiredly. Bluebell eyes dull.
"`You'll be fine, just hold on a little longer.`" She mocks Adrian's words, glaring at the pictures on her wall, "`Time heals all wounds` and `Rome wasn't built in a day!`"
"But I'm human, when I crumble life will never be the same..!" Marinette laughs humorlessly, not caring or not noticing the black cat watching her through her skylight, "I'll never not be tired, never have a normal day!" Her words come out bitter.
"I'll always lie, fake sincerity to save face!" Marinette laughs again, her voice sad but angry too, she's angry(She's always angry nowadays, what's wrong with her?), "I will always be the one who people try to fix!"
"And there's nothing I can do but learn to be okay with it 'cause-" She wheels over to her desk, glaring at the half-finished projects, anger flooding her(she hates it. She hates being so angry), "I think I'm fucked up forever!"
"I'll have to fight my whole life!" The black cat watches his princess with wide eyes, he's deeply confused, how long had she been smiling through the pain? Marinette was always strong, always kind, always unshakable... What happened?
"I think I'm fucked up forever!" Plagg watches through his holders eyes with genuine sympathy. This always happened with his sugar-cubes chosen, they always gave too much. They always gave too much and then they broke. And then they had to pick up the pieces themselves, because they hate being vulnerable, because they're people pleasers, because they think they have to be strong enough to protect everyone . Plagg hates it.
"But if broken becomes normal it's safe to say; I'll always be fine!" Marinette says, she sounds pleading, hoping it will be true, she hopes, she prays, she'll make it so, "Right?"
"Someday soon my hands will function bad enough I'll have to quit!" She glares harshly at her shaking hands, slamming her fist on the desk in anger, the half-finished projects jump, "Writing, painting, throwing punches, playing pretty instruments!"
"All I'll have are restless thoughts and meds to help me sleep at night!" Marinette laughs humorlessly again, holding her hurt fist with her other hand, glaring at her still shaking hands, why can't she just be strong, "While I rot in my own room and people tell me I'm alright!"
"I'm alright?" She laughs coldly, glaring at her shaking hands as if willing them to stop, "I'm alright!?"
"I am not alright but-" Marinette glares harshly at the photos hanging above her desk, her eyes burning with fire, anger in her voice, "I'm not your experiment or precious little basket case!"
"I don't need for you to barge in thinking you can save the day!" She snaps this to a picture of Alya, Nino, and Adrian, "I am my own knight in shining armor, here's to me!"
"And you can witness my accomplishments through pain and suffering!" The black cat is stunned, his Kwami however is not. Plagg knows that his sugar-cube doesn't pick weak holders, the Kwami of creations holders are always stronger than they appear at first glance. They had to be. He hates this too.
"I think I'm fucked up forever..." Marinette sighs tiredly, holding her hand close to her chest, "I'll have to fight my whole life..!"
"I think I'm fucked up forever!" She smiles more sincerely at her hands, "But if broken becomes normal it's safe to say-"
"I'll always be fine..." She says to herself, trying to believe her own words.
"We're fucked up forever.." Marinette whispers to herself, soft tears rolling down her cheeks, "We'll have to fight our whole lives.."
"I think we're fucked up forever... But if broken becomes normal-" She laughs sadly at herself, finally allowing herself to grieve for her lost childhood and her lost normalcy.
"It's safe to say we'll always be fine... Right?" She asks no one. The black cat is gone now, having snuck away to think.
"We'll always be fine..!" Marinette says more sincerely, taking a deep breath in, "We'll always be fine..."
"I'll always be fine..." Her voice is quieter now, she stares at her hands with hidden loathing, "Right?"