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Chapter Text

Kira woke with a start, her quarters still shrouded in darkness except for the dull beam of light that emanated from her nightstand.

“Computer, time,” she commanded into the dark silence. 

“The time is 05:00 hours.”

Kira let out a soft groan and raised her hands to her face covering her eyes in frustration.  It had taken her hours to fall asleep, to quiet her mind, only to wake up an hour later.  Over the past several weeks she had tried to alleviate her insomnia by various means.  She had tried more frequent meditations and decreased the number of raktajinos she drank to one a day.  She even had the computer compile a playlist of soothing Earth melodies recommended by Vic, but none of it had helped.  Out of desperation she had gone to Julian yesterday for some medicinal remedies.  He had given her some herbs and instructed her to brew them into a tea an hour before bed.  Unfortunately, they too were ineffective. 

She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.  There was no reason for her to try to go back to sleep when she needed to be up in an hour anyway.  She showered and dressed, then moved to her vanity mirror.   She parted several strands of hair, weaving them together to create two thin braids.  Then, after smoothing out her uniform against her thin frame, she attached her Bajoran combadge to her outer lapel and walked out of her quarters to the familiar swoosh of the doors as they closed behind her. 

She let her feet carry her down the corridor to the turbo lift and then made her way to the second level promenade.   Hands held behind her back she walked leisurely, admiring the stars as they flickered in the black of space.  This had become her daily ritual the last few weeks and while she would much rather be enjoying a peaceful slumber, there was a certain allure to the promenade at this hour of the morning, when no one was yet around.  Sometimes she just listened to the hum of the station, like the calm before a storm, wondering what new welcomed challenges the day would bring.  Other times she thought of her dear friend Jadzia or wondered about the Emissary.  There were even times she could almost hear the laughter of the O’Brien children as they skipped along the promenade.  The one thing she tried not to do was think of him, an impossible task really, for there was not one place on this station that did not remind her of him.  His imprint was everywhere and there were days when she felt overwhelmed by the inability to escape those memories.

But change and loss was not something unfamiliar to Kira Nerys.  She had lost her family at a young age, had lost countless friends during the occupation and while she grieved deeply for the loss of Jadzia, she knew the prophets would take care of the Emissary, and that Odo was alive, having chosen to return to the Great Link to be with his people. She didn’t question his decision because she had understood it. She would have made the same sacrifice if necessary.  So, she would endure these sleepless nights, these familiar feelings of grief and loss because she was a survivor. She would not cry. She would not fall apart. 

By the time Kira began to make her way to her office, the quiet of the early morning was replaced by the patter of hurried footsteps from overnight guests rushing to board vessels to other worlds, while new arrivals began to filter in from newly docked ships. The store fronts were opening, and you could begin to smell the aroma of freshly brewed raktajino coming from the replimat.  Kira took the turbolift up to the command center and when the doors opened, just for a moment, she thought she caught a glimpse of Jadzia, Worf and Miles huddled over their consoles, while Sisko barked out his orders- just like it used to be.  But all too quickly the vision faded, replaced by a group of unfamiliar faces starting back at her.  One of the new Starfleet ensigns whose name she couldn’t remember smiled at her.

“Good morning, Colonel,” she squealed, with a bit too much enthusiasm for Kira’s taste. 

“Good morning, Ensign….,” Kira paused for a beat. 

“Raya,” the young woman quickly replied.  “I was transferred here from Deep Space 5 last week.”

 Kira gave a small smile.  “That’s right.  Sorry, Ensign.  There has been such a large turnover among the personnel the last few weeks, it’s been hard to keep up.”

“I understand,” she said knowingly.  “How did you sleep?”

Kira couldn’t tell if the young ensign was just trying to make small talk or if the effects of her insomnia were starting to show on her face.  Either way, Kira did not want to discuss it.

“I slept well Ensign,” she lied.  “Thank you for asking,” and with a curt nod of her head, walked quickly into her office. 

She made her way to the desk and sat down.  She had a laundry list of things to carry out today, and her top priority was making a final decision on who her next chief of security would be.  Kira picked up a padd from her desk and began scrolling through it, recalling the day she had received it.

“What’s this,” she had asked when he handed her the padd.

“I took the liberty of making a list for you,” he had said simply, but she could hear the strain in his voice. He cleared his throat.  “For my replacement.” He would not meet her eyes.

When she had not answered, he continued, “Five of my most trusted Bajoran deputies.  I am confident whomever you select will do a fine job.”

“No one could ever replace you,” she had whispered.  She thought she saw him flinch for a moment as if in physical pain, but it happened so fast, she wasn’t sure if she had imagined it. 

Kira placed the padd onto the desk and sat back in her chair, closing her eyes for a moment.  She had interviewed each person on that list and had given them each a chance to be chief of security for a day to see how they faired.  Odo had not been wrong.  All five of them were equally qualified for the job and had done well on their interviews, but there was one person whom she felt would be the best suited.  He was disciplined, observant, loyal and had been a former resistance fighter. All qualities Kira admired. His name also appeared first on Odo’s list and Kira took that as further evidence that she was making the right decision.  Kira took in a long breath and released it.  She activated her combadge.

“Kira to Taren Vos,” she said aloud.

“Taren here Colonel,” came the quick reply.

“Please meet me in my office today at 08:00 hours.  I have something I need to discuss with you.”

“Understood Colonel.  Taren out.” 

Kira was able to cross one thing off her list for the day.

                                                                        ***************************

The morning proceeded like any other.  There had been briefings to attend, diplomats to greet, and conflicts to resolve.  After her meeting with a very grateful Taren Vos, Kira escaped to the replimat for a quick break.  She ordered a raktajino from a nearby replicator and as she moved to take one of the empty seats toward the back of the room, a memory surfaced, subtle at first but persistent. She tried to set it aside, but it lingered.

She remembered the feel of his hand beneath her palm, warm but stiff, confusion etched on his unfinished face.

“Isn’t that right…sweetheart?”

She had questioned him with a knowing stare, hoping he understood this was a ruse to ward off the unwanted advances of the visiting Serilian. 

“Yes,” he paused, his voice gruff and dripping with sarcasm as he turned to the Serilian echoing her words.  “Sweetheart.”

Kira smiled at the memory.  Even in his discomfort, Odo had caught on quickly, playing along until the Serilian left in frustration.  She wondered if he had loved her then.  There was so much he’d kept hidden from her in those early days, when they were just good friends. But it was too late now, she couldn’t ask him.  She felt a lump in her throat begin to form and she swallowed hard.  She tried closing her eyes to compose herself.  Mercifully, as if by the divine intervention of the prophets, Kira felt a hand on her shoulder pulling her from the memory, from the sadness that had threatened to overwhelm her. 

“Kira are you alright,” the soft voice inquired.

Kira opened her eyes and let out sigh of relief.  It was Ezri Dax.

She nodded slightly, waving a hand in the air, a worn expression upon her face.  “I’m fine.  Just tired.”

“Julian told me you went to see him yesterday for some sleep remedies.”

Kira rolled her eyes.  “Well, so much for doctor-patient confidentiality.”

“Don’t be upset.  He is worried about you.” She paused, then added, “We both are.”

“I appreciate your concern Ezri, but I really am fine.” 

Kira guessed her response hadn’t been very convincing because instead of leaving, Ezri slid into the seat opposite her.  When she spoke, her voice was warm and gentle. 

“You’ve been through a lot these past few weeks, Kira.  It might help to talk to someone about it.”

Kira looked at Ezri thoughtfully.  In the short time Ezri had been on the station, they had become fast friends, but Kira knew that was because of the Dax symbiont.  The friendship she had forged with Jadzia had been deeper, taking years to build and while Ezri could access those memories, their interactions would never feel quite the same for Kira.

She let out a deep breath before answering.  “I’ve dealt with change and loss before Ezri, and I got through it.  This is no different.”

A long silence fell between them and Kira could tell Ezri was measuring her words carefully before she responded. The moment was interrupted by the sound of Ensign Raya’s voice over the com system.

“Raya to Colonel Kira.”

“Go head Ensign.”  Kira said, a bit relieved.

“Lieutenant Commander Marcus Hale has arrived.”

“Understood.  Tell him I’m on my way.  Kira out.”

Kira’s attention turned back to Ezri.  “Sorry, duty calls.”  She picked up her cup of raktajino and took one last sip, then stood from her chair.  As she was about to walk away, Ezri called after her. 

“Kira,” she paused for a moment. “If you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

Kira nodded, offering her a small smile, “Thank you,” and with that she walked away, as Ezri stared after her. 

                                                                                          ***************

Choosing a security officer had been difficult enough for Kira, even with Odo’s recommendations, so when Starfleet had contacted her with a replacement for first officer, she hadn’t objected.  She was confident, now that the war had ended, that Bajor would soon join the Federation.  Once that happened, the entire Bajoran militia would become incorporated into Starfleet anyway and she would be reporting to them directly. The only feeling that lingered was the knowledge that sending someone to fill the first officer position, meant that even Starfleet had no idea when or even if Sisko would return.   Last week she had received word that Lieutenant Commander Marcus Hale would be formally appointed as first officer of Deep Space Nine.  They had sent over his dossier for Kira to review. From it she had learned that he had been born on Earth and joined Starfleet when he was nineteen years old.  He began his career as a science officer, but over time, his natural leadership skills and decisiveness revealed a strong aptitude for command.

When Kira arrived at her office, Hale was already waiting for her.  He was an imposing presence to say the least and Kira estimated he had to be well over six feet tall. He had large deep set brown eyes, wavy black hair and a well-groomed goatee. 

“Welcome to Deep Space Nine,” she said, offering her hand, as was customary when greeting humans.  His handshake was firm and assured, a quiet display of confidence.

“Thank you, Colonel.  I’m happy to be here.”

Kira moved around to the opposite side of her desk. When she did so, her eyes momentarily flickered to Captain Sisko’s baseball, and she remembered their first meeting.   She had not made a good first impression.  She had been so different back then, still so filled with anger and so distrusting of the Federation.  It took months for her to accept her position as first officer and even longer for them to build a strong working relationship.  The road had not been easy, and Sisko could be demanding at times, but eventually he became a significant figure in her life, not just as the Emissary to the Prophets but as a mentor and friend.  Kira had learned a great deal about leadership from Sisko—his calm under pressure, his ability to inspire, and his unwavering sense of duty had left an impression on her.  She hoped to one day share what she had learned from him with others.  Perhaps she could begin with this young commander. 

“Please, have a seat,” she said gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk and when he seemed comfortable, she continued. 

“I looked over the dossier that Starfleet sent over and I was very impressed.  I suppose I just have one question.”

“Of course, Colonel.  What would you like to know?”  

“It says you applied for this transfer, and I am just wondering why.  I would have guessed a young commander, having studied as a science officer would be more interested in exploring the galaxy then serving aboard a space station.”

“Well as you know, I spent the last four years on the USS Seville under the command of Captain Stroud.”

“Yes, she gave you a glowing recommendation, but I got the impression she was also surprised by your choice to come here.”

He shifted in his seat, slightly.  “May I speak freely Colonel,” he asked.

“Of course.”

“The truth is that I was recently married.  My wife and I are eager to start a family, and we felt this would be the perfect place to set up a home base while affording me added command experience.”

Kira appreciated his honesty.  He was not the only officer to make the decision to work on the space station for the stability it offered, especially when it came to raising a family. When Kira was in the resistance, she never imagined herself having children.  Who would want to bring life into such a cruel world?  Once the occupation was over, she still had not considered it, so focused on her work.  That was, until she had carried the O’Brien’s baby.  It had taken her weeks to come to terms with having to let Kirayoshi go and for a time she thought about having a child of her own one day.  But then the Bajoran government had promoted her to Colonel, the war had intensified, and she had not thought about it again.  Listening to the Commander speak about his wife and future family stirred something deep inside Kira and she felt a pang of sadness mixed with longing.

“You could come back you know, once you’ve cured your people,” her own voice echoed in her head, a recent memory.

“I could,” came his reply, quiet and noncommittal.  Kira knew deep down what that meant.

“But you’re not going to do that,” she had said, acknowledging that he really was saying goodbye, forever.

Kira was pulled from her musings when she noticed Hale looking at her expectantly.  She shook her head slightly to help clear her mind of the memory. 

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day to settle in.  Tomorrow, I will formally introduce you to the staff and we can go from there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said eagerly.

“Commander,” she paused, to collect her thoughts then added, “Being the first officer of this station for seven years was the most memorable of my life. I am sure you and your wife will be very happy here.” 

“Thank you, Colonel, we are excited for the adventure.”

Kira gave him a warm smile. “Dismissed.”

Hale nodded, stood from his seat, and walked out of the office leaving Kira to her thoughts.

*************************

It was late when Kira stepped into the temple.  The final hours of her shift had been stressful.  There had been an overload of the power relay system causing massive power outages across the station.  During the maintenance, incoming starships had to be rerouted, stores and restaurants on the promenade had to close, and guests started becoming restless.  It had taken engineering over three hours to fix the problem, which annoyed Kira, who was sure the Chief could have fixed it in half that time.

Kira walked to the front of the temple and knelt down.  She watched the candle flames flicker gently, their golden shadows drifting across the walls.  They reminded her of Odo.  She closed her eyes and offered up a silent prayer for him as she did every night.  She prayed for his safety, for the success of his mission, but most of all she prayed he was happy. 

Suddenly, she felt a strange presence.  When she opened her eyes, the room was filled with a bright white light.  She could hear the faint but steady beat of her heart surrounding her.  She looked around the room searching until her eyes fell upon Odo standing off to the side and just for a moment her heart leapt in her chest, but it did not take long for her to understand it wasn’t really Odo. 

The entity spoke to her then.  “His sacrifice was necessary.”

Kira was fully aware that what she was experiencing was a gift from the prophets.  She responded, bowing her had in reverence, “I know.”

From the other corner of the room, another entity disguised as Ezri Dax approached her.  “Then why do you grieve?”

Kira swallowed the lump in her throat.  “Because I love him,” she paused trying to explain the complexity of her emotions. “It’s hard to be apart from him.”

Another entity in the form of Julian Bashir suddenly appeared. He drew up close to her face as if inspecting her. “You carry a part of him with you.”

“Always,” Kira whispered not meeting his eyes.

The entity that looked like Bashir turned to Ezri confused.  “They are linear, she replied to his wordless inquiry. “It limits them.”

The three entities began to circle around Kira, talking to each other as they did so.

“She is special,” Ezri offered.

“She will be the first of her kind,” Bashir continued.

 “She must be protected. The Sisko demands it,” Odo added.

Kira looked up.  “The Emissary is he-” she inquired but stopped herself from continuing for she did not want the prophets to question her faith in them.  

The entities stopped circling her and Bashir stopped in front of her.  “The host must be protected as well.  It is corporeal.”

“They value their emotions,” Ezri offered.

“And what was before,” Odo finished.

“I don’t understand,” Kira said.  “What is it that you want from me.”

“To exist.” Odo responded simply.

Ezri looked to Odo. “To exist now, she may need to go back to what was before.”

Bashir shook his head in agreement, “It is the only way.”

Kira was utterly confused. She was trying to remember as much as she could so she could work on interpreting it later.

Odo approached her then. He looked identical to the Odo she had always known except for his Bajoran uniform which emanated a deeper hue of gold.  He stretched out his hand and lightly touched her shoulder. 

“From what came before, this is what remains,” she heard him say before everything went black.

Chapter Text

Jadzia’s closet was so small and filled with clutter there was barely any room to stand.  Kira could feel Odo’s presence beside her as they took in their surroundings.  There was so much to say, but she had no idea where to even begin.  He broke the silence first.

“I will never understand how some humanoids can live like this,” disgust evident in his voice.  Kira smirked slightly at his remark but did not respond. He moved passed her clearing away several piles of Jadzia’s clothes and then dragged two large plastic containers into the middle of the room for them to sit on.

“Well,” he interjected surveying his handiwork, “This is the best I can do at the moment.” 

“It’s fine Odo,” Kira responded as she took a seat on one of the containers near Jadzia’s vanity. 

Odo sat on the opposite container, but the narrow space between them left no room for distance. Their knees touched—just barely—but the contact sent a jolt through Kira’s body, low and warm and entirely unwelcome. She quickly shifted position, tucking her legs beneath her. Odo, on the other hand remained still, his expression unreadable.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them and for a time, the only sound that could be heard was the faint mix of music and voices coming from the party outside. Kira twisted her fingers in her hands. She had told him they needed to talk; to clear the air, but for Kira this was more than just settling a minor grievance. For her, this moment was about seeing if their friendship was worth saving.

“I don’t know how to trust you anymore,” she blurted out into the silence. She met his eyes then and she could see pain and sorrow reflected there.

“I did not set out to betray you, Nerys.”

“But that’s how it felt,” Kira responded, more forcefully than she had intended. She took a deep breath trying to calm herself, then sat forward, careful not to touch him.

“For us to move on from this, I need to understand what happened.”

Odo shifted uncomfortably upon the plastic container. “I told you before, it’s hard to explain.”

“Try,” she commanded, gently. 

Odo closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

“When the Dominion took control of the station, I focused on maintaining order—on protecting Bajor because that was what Sisko had wanted…” he paused trying to collect his thoughts.

“Go on,” Kira encouraged.

“But then you asked for my help in planning a resistance and it became difficult for me to remain objective.” 

“The federation was losing the war, Odo. There was no other choice.” Kira responded through gritted teeth.

“You don’t understand,” he replied in frustration. “I was afraid they’d find out... and that I wouldn’t be able to protect—” He stopped, cleared his throat, and looked away, eyes fixing on some distant point on the far wall. “The people I care about on this station.”

Kira’s mouth drew into a thin, tense line as she fought to keep her emotions in check. “We didn’t need your protection, Odo; we needed your help!”

Her eyes found his again, and she could see the hurt her words had caused—but she was still angry at what she saw as a betrayal of their friendship. Nevertheless, she took a moment to consider his reasoning before responding.

“Fine. You say you were worried about protecting us. I guess I can accept that, but that still doesn’t explain all that happened.”

“No, I suppose it doesn’t,” he answered honestly.

“Then explain it to me because I’m having a hard time trying to understand how you could change from wanting to offer protection, to being so indifferent.”

Odo shifted in his seat sighing deeply. “It started innocently enough. The founder was offering me a chance to learn more about the link, about myself, but the more we linked the more I began to regain my objectivity, to think more clearly. I felt free, unburdened by my emotions.”

Kira sat back on the container, folding her arms in front of her. “Well, you picked a really bad time to go off on some quest for inner peace, Odo. I told you that after you linked with her the first time.”

“I know, and you were right,” he admitted, a softness in his voice. “She used my vulnerability and my desire to be part of the Great Link to manipulate me. I see that now.”

Kira was pleased to hear him admit he had been wrong to trust the founder, but she still felt unsettled. She narrowed her eyes at him. “How can I be sure you won’t be manipulated by her again or some other changeling in the future?”

He didn’t answer right away, and Kira could tell he was weighing his words carefully, fearful of how she might respond.

“You must know by now that I would never intentionally betray you Nerys or anyone else on this station,” he paused, then added, “But you’re asking for guarantees where there are none.”

That was not the answer Kira was expecting, and she felt the rage rise within her. She stood then, hands balled into fits, her nails digging into the skin of her palms. Angry tears threatening to spill over onto her face.

“Then there is nothing more to say.” She turned heading for the door, but Odo reached her first, gripping her arm tightly and spinning her back around to face him. He was standing so close to her, his eyes full of fear and some other unnamed emotion Kira did not want to acknowledge yet.

“You must understand,” he pleaded. “The Link is part of who my people are and the need to be with them is overwhelming at times but I,”

Kira interrupted him, pulling her arm from his grip, “Then why didn’t you go with the founder when you had the chance, Odo,” she shouted, her body trembling with anger. “Why bother helping us in the end?”

He backed away from her then, his arms stiff at his sides. She could sense his discomfort, but what struck her most was the anguish etched across his unfinished face. He refused to look at her.

“You already know why, Nerys,” he replied faintly.

She took a deep breath. “I don’t know anything anymore, Odo,” she shot back, her voice tight. “You called the Link paradise, but it turned you into someone I didn’t even recognize.”  She paused trying to find the right words. “And that wasn’t easy for me to accept.”

“And you think this is easy for me,” he asked, a desperate edge to his voice.

He turned away from her then to stand in front of Jadzia’s mirror, but she could still see his pained expression through the mirror’s reflection.  

“How can I make you understand. For me, the Link IS paradise Nerys. It is peaceful. There is no noise, no indecision, no feelings clawing their way to the surface every time I,” he stopped, not wanting to continue.

“Every time you what?” Kira’s voice was small now, her anger replaced with a nervous energy.

“Every time I look at you,” he whispered, dropping his head in humiliation.

Kira swallowed hard trying to undo the tightness in her throat.

“I see,” was all she could manage to say.

They stayed locked in an uneasy silence for some time until Odo spoke again. His voice thick with emotion.

“I wanted to believe the Link would set me free, but it didn’t. It just made me forget, for a while, what it meant to choose to care about someone. And by the time I remembered, I had already hurt you and for that I am truly sorry.”

Odo had tried to offer his apology once before, but Kira had not been willing to accept it.  This time, in this space, it felt different.  She chanced a glance in his direction and could see his body was trembling.  It was obvious to Kira that their conversation was taking an emotional toll making it difficult for him to maintain his shape.  It was time to resolve this one way or another, for both their sakes.

“Where do we go from here Odo,” Kira asked solemnly.

He turned from the mirror to face her again and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I suppose that is up to you.”

Kira shifted slightly from where she stood. She appreciated that he was giving her the space to decide how she wanted to proceed. She tried to imagine her life without him by her side and wasn’t surprised when the thought frightened her. He was her moral compass, her quiet companion, and the only person in the galaxy who knew her better than she knew herself.

“Well, I do know one thing,” she said, her voice steadier than she felt.

“Yes?” he asked, cautious.

“I believe our friendship is worth fighting for.”

Relief washed over Odo’s face, and Kira heard him release a long breath. “I’m pleased to hear you say that.”

Kira pressed her lips together and glanced away briefly before meeting Odo’s gaze again. “You know, Vedik Fala always said that the road toward forgiveness is a slow yet meaningful journey. It might take me time to,”

Odo put up his hand to quiet her.  “I understand,” he said calmly. Kira nodded but did not respond. Odo cleared his throat.

“Well,” he began, straitening his posture and clasping his hands behind his back, “I suppose you’d like to get back to the party.”

Kira turned her head to the door and then back to Odo.

 “Actually,” she said, not quite meeting his eyes, “I’d rather stay here…. with you.”

 “And do what exactly,” Odo asked with mild confusion.

“I don’t know,” Kira paused a bit flustered, “Talk?”

He crossed his arms in front of his chest.  “Isn’t that what we’ve been doing,” he replied with his typical air of sarcasm.

“You know what I mean Odo,” she said rolling her eyes at him, then added softly “I’ve missed my friend.”

She watched the skepticism in Odo’s expression shift into something warmer. “So have I,” he replied gratefully.

Kira gave him a broad smile then and she heard him draw in a subtle breath, his eyes studying her face.

“What,” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

He didn’t answer right away.  Instead, he just stood there staring at her and Kira got the impression he was contemplating whether he should say anything at all.

“Your smile…it suits you.” he said finally, almost to himself.

Kira was taken aback by the uncharacteristic remark, but what startled her more was the way his simple compliment had warmed her cheeks and quickened her heartbeat. These feelings made her uncomfortable and she briefly shifted her gaze downward studying the intricate patterns of the closet carpeting. Seconds passed before she could bring herself to look at him again.

“Thank you,” she whispered, then added quickly, “I, uh, heard Quark was caught stealing Dominion technology that was left behind in an abandoned cargo bay.”

If Odo was upset by her dismissal of his compliment, he didn’t show it.

“Hmff,” came his gruff reply, “and trying to sell it as collectible war memorabilia.”

“Typical Quark,” she said slightly amused but then she became thoughtful. “Do me a favor Odo. Go easy on him.”

“Excuse me,” he asked surprised.

Kira sighed.  “I hate to admit it, but if it hadnt been for Quark and Ziyal none of us would have been able to escape that holding cell.”

Odo grunted and took a seat onto one of the containers. “Being indebted to Quark — now there’s a nightmare I didn’t need.”

Kira smirked and went to join Odo on the opposite container mindful this time to pull her legs underneath her body first before sitting down. "If the Dominion occupation taught me anything, it’s that as annoying as Quark can be, his heart is in the right place… sometimes."

Odo didn’t say anything at first and Kira could tell he was considering her words. “You may be right,” Odo paused then added “Just do me a favor, don’t ever tell him I said that.”

“You have my word.” 

Odo fell silent then, his expression turning somber. “I never got the chance to tell you how sorry I was about Ziyal.  I know you cared for her a great deal.”

The mention of Ziyal caused Kira’s eyes to fill with tears. “She is with the prophets now.  They will take care of her.” 

Odo nodded.  “I assume you heard about Dukat.”

“Yeah, I heard about him,” she said coldly.  Her tears replaced by anger.  “I can’t feel sorry for him.”

“It’s difficult to feel badly for someone who only cares about themselves.”

“I hate him, Odo,” she blurted out.   “My only regret is that I didn’t kill him when I had the chance.”

“Well, based on my last encounter with him, I don’t think he poses much of a threat anymore.”

“Good,” she replied forcefully. 

“How did Garak take the news of Ziyal’s death,” Odo asked curious.

Kira sighed.  “He came to the infirmary as soon as the Defiant docked… but you know Garak — it’s hard to read him. I know Ziyal loved him deeply.  I’m just not sure he felt the same way.”

“From what I observed, he valued their friendship. It may not have been what Ziyal wanted, but sometimes,” he paused, shifting his gaze away from Kira, “wanting more doesn’t change what is.”

Kira stared at him, the faintest crease forming between her brows. In the past, the deeper meaning behind such a comment might have been lost on her, but not anymore. She wanted to say something to remove the unease she felt from his observation, but the words died upon her lips. The tension of the moment was broken when they heard yelling coming from outside. 

“Toruk-DOH,” a voice screamed out.

Kira looked to Odo concerned. “That sounded like Jadzia.” 

“Ladies, please,” Nog yelled.

In an instant, they were both on their feet heading for the door but just before Odo could press the release button that would allow them to exit the closet, they heard Jadzia’s voice again.

“Why is everyone standing around?  The party’s just getting started!”

Kira took a deep breath while staring at the closed doors. “That went one of two ways — and I’m not sure which.”

“Klingons,” Odo said shaking his head while returning to his seat. Kira followed him.

“So,” Odo began once they were both comfortable, his tone dry but edged with curiosity, “What exactly did Morn and the Bolian manage to argue about?”

Kira smiled and began to explain what had happened.  As the night wore on, their conversation drifted to other topics. They talked about their past and their hopes for the future and in doing so they began to repair all that the Dominion had tried to sever between them.  And while Kira was finally certain that their friendship would survive this latest test, there was something else that lingered in the silent moments. It wasn’t the comfortable quiet she had come to associate with their time together. This silence was filled with a different sort of tension, the kind neither of them was ready to confront just yet.  And when the swoosh of the door sounded, and Jadzia appeared, announcing it was 10:30 in the morning, Kira felt as if she was being pulled away by something. Then everything went black again.

Chapter Text

The upper level of the promenade was quiet and empty when Kira emerged from the turbolift. She had not been able to sleep that much since her return from Bajor where she had learned the truth about her mother and Dukat. She walked slowly, with no real destination until she saw Odo standing by one of the large windows looking out at the stars. 

“Constable isn’t it a bit early for you to be on duty,” she asked coming to stand beside him, a small smirk on her lips.

He turned from the window surprised to see her standing there.  “I could say the same for you, Major.”

 She shrugged her shoulders.  “I couldn’t sleep again,” she said sheepishly.

“I can’t help but wonder if this has something to do with your recent trip to Bajor.”

 “Something like that,” she whispered.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She titled her head slightly, considering the offer. “Not really but I also don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.  Can I interest you in a walk?”

“Of course,” he responded, extending his arm ahead of him in a quiet, matter-of-fact motion, inviting her to lead the way.   

They walked side by side in companionable silence, hands clasped behind their backs. From time to time, their arms would brush, sending a quiet ripple of awareness through Kira.  Since their conversation in Jadzia’s closet over five months ago, things between them had become…complicated.  They were still close friends, but it was as if an invisible line existed between them that neither was willing to cross.  Kira felt his arm brush up against hers again. Ordinarily, she would have put distance between them, but today she found herself letting it happen. She peered over to look at Odo, wondering if he felt it too, but his face remained expressionless.

“What is it,” he asked breaking the silence, and Kira realized he must have noticed her staring at him. 

“Uh, just wondering if you’ve made any more progress in your investigation into the random security breaches on Upper Pylon 3,” she lied.

“Not yet, but I have been able to remove a few people from my suspect list…including Quark,” he said with mild irritation. 

“I guess that’s some progress.”

“For now, it will have to be.”

They continued walking until they reached the entrance to the turbolift.  Kira turned to him. “Want to walk along the observation deck,” she asked hopeful. Odo simply nodded his assent and followed her. 

When they reached their destination, they took up walking side by side again.  The corridors were empty, and only the low hum of the station and the sound of their footsteps could be heard. It was peaceful here and for a moment Kira was able to relax and quiet her mind.  They followed the corridor around a bend and when they reached its end, Kira stopped to peer out one of the large viewports.  The worm hole had just opened creating a swirl of dazzling light that lit up the observation deck. Kira moved closer to the viewport, resting her hand on the transparent surface, the aluminum composite smooth and cool against her fingertips.

“No matter how many times I come up here, the view still gets me.” She kept her eyes on the stars. “It’s something, isn’t it, Odo?”

“Yes,” he said, his voice a bit strained.  Through the window’s reflection she could see him staring at her, the relaxed state he had been in moments before replaced by an uneasy tension.  

She turned to face him and was surprised by how close he was. 

“Odo, what’s wrong,” she asked concerned and a bit flustered.  His proximity was making it difficult for her to think clearly. As if sensing her discomfort, he backed away. 

“Nothing,” he said dismissively, but before Kira could question him further, a noise coming from the corridor caught their attention.

Odo turned to Kira.  “That sounded like footsteps.”  

Kira nodded in agreement.  “Rotations in this part of the station don’t start till 06:00 hours.  That’s either a really dedicated officer or-”

“Our saboteur,” Odo finished. 

Before Kira could reply Odo was already halfway down the corridor following the sound.  By the time she caught up to him he was crouched down low against one of the bulkheads. She took up position behind him and could hear the distinct beeping of a key padd.  Kira reasoned that someone was trying to gain unauthorized access to one of the cargo bays.  The swoosh of the door told her they succeeded.  Odo rounded the corner in a flash and Kira followed him.  Together they entered the holding area only to find the space empty.  Suddenly the doors they had just entered through closed behind them and the lights went dim. 

“Someone cut the power,” Odo said.  Hoping he was wrong, Kira tried the release buttons for both sets of doors, but neither worked.  They were trapped. 

Kira tapped her combadge. “Kira to Obrien, please respond.”   

“If the power is out in this area, I doubt your combadge will be of much use Major,” Odo said as he moved about the space, gliding his hands along the bulkhead walls.

“I figured as much, but I guess it was worth a try…. what are you doing,” Kira asked confused. 

“I was looking to see if there was a crack I might be able to fit through, but these walls are sealed tight.”

Kira inspected the door controls again.  “I don’t suppose you know how to take the shape of a power transfer coupler do you?”

He gave her a long, level stare, as though trying to decide if she was serious-or just making it up as she went. 

“Didn’t think so,” she said under her breath. 

 Odo pushed himself away from the wall.   “Well Major, it seems we are stuck here at least until the morning shift begins or until our saboteur comes back through those doors.”

Kira sighed, “I’m afraid your right.”

The holding area was small and cramped.  Kira took a seat on the floor pulling her knees up into her body. She rested her head against one of the bulkheads.  “So much for our walk.”

Just as Odo was about to respond, they heard a noise coming from the cargo bay.  Odo quietly approached the small window that gave only a partial view of the cargo bay area.

“See anything,” she whispered.

Odo shook his head slowly in the affirmative.   He suddenly seemed very uncomfortable. “See for yourself,” he said backing away from the window slightly, to give Kira room to fit in front of him. 

As she approached the area where he was, she heard what sounded like giggling.  She leaned in closer to the window, catching sight of two officers locked in a fervent embrace, their kisses urgent and unrestrained.

She quickly turned away from the window, heat rising in her cheeks.  “Well, that’s certainly not what I was expecting,” she said trying hard to keep a straight face.

Odo gave her an incredulous look.  “I’m glad you find this amusing Major but aren’t there Starfleet regulations against fraternization.”

“Oh, come on Odo, they’re just kissing.  Besides, the Bajoran militia never really enforces those rules anyway- a result of the occupation.”  Kira got a wistful look in her eye as she peered back briefly at the couple.  “Sometimes all we had were stolen moments like these.”

“Really,” he said, folding his arms across his chest, a wry smile spreading on his lips.  “Care to elaborate?”

  Kira arched an eyebrow at him, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. “You’re patronizing me,” she said her voice low but certain.

“Am I?” His tone was casual, but there was a weight beneath it that made Kira shift uncomfortably.  She gave him a serious look.

 “ It was a long time ago, Odo. Relationships during the Occupation ended quickly—there wasn’t time for romance when you were fighting to survive.”

“I suppose not,” he said quietly.

Kira’s expression became thoughtful.  “I never had a real relationship until Bareil,” she paused, smiling faintly at his memory.  “But you know, it wasn’t exactly what I had expected.” 

Odo tilted his head, curious. “How so?”

“Loving him was… simple. Peaceful. Safe. It wasn’t risky, it wasn’t intense — it just was.” She gave a small shrug. “I’m not sure if that makes sense.”

"Well, you know as well as anyone, Major, that humanoid relationships rarely make sense to me.”

Kira arched her brow at him and placed her hands on her hips.  “Really,” she said, a small smirk forming on her lips.  “What about Arissa?”

Odo’s eyes widened in surprise at the mention of the name.

“What about her,” he asked defensively. 

Kira gave him a knowing look.  “It wasn’t much of a secret, Odo.”

“Hmff…I should have known the doctor couldn’t be trusted,” he responded with slight annoyance.

Kira held her hands up. “Wait a minute,” she said a mixture of shock and amusement on her face.  “You asked Julian for relationship advice?”  

Odo looked away, embarrassed.  “I had certain questions….”

Kira cleared her throat, her expression softening a bit. “I’m sorry…. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Odo looked back at her again.  “How did you find out...if not from Dr. Bashir,” he asked curiously, ignoring her apology.

Kira shrugged her shoulders.  “Well, after the conversation we had about her in the cargo bay, let’s just say…I had my suspicions.  And then of course there was Jadzia.”

Odo rolled his eyes.  “Once Dax knows something, the entire station knows,” he said, irritated. Kira tried hard not to laugh but in the end was unsuccessful. When the moment passed, and the mood became serious again, Kira decided to ask him something she had been wondering about.  

“Did you love her?”  Her tone was light, but the words felt surprisingly heavy as she spoke them.  

“It’s hard to love someone that doesn’t actually exist,” he said sarcastically.  

Kira gave him a measured glance.  “She existed to you and that is all that should matter.”  

He let out a deep sigh.  “My relationship with Arissa grew out of a mutual attraction and a desire to connect with someone on a more intimate level.  I guess you could say I was a bit infatuated, but as I understand it, infatuation is not the same thing as…” he paused for a moment, his blue eyes holding hers in a steady gaze, “love.”

Kira dropped her head to stare at the floor.  “No, I suppose it isn’t,” she whispered.  

An uncomfortable silence fell between them as Odo’s last words hung in the air. Eventually he cleared his throat cutting through the uneasy stillness.  “Well Major, as interesting as this conversation has been, perhaps we should refocus on the situation at hand.”  

“I couldn’t agree more,” she responded relieved.  She quickly looked back at the couple still in a tight embrace.  “I think that’s Ensign Walker.  She just joined Julian’s team last week, but I can’t make out who she is with.”

“That would be Benin Torel, one of my security deputies.  That explains how he was able to breach the security systems on the upper pylons.”

“I see,” Kira responded surprised that an officer would go to such lengths for a few stolen moments in a cargo bay. It seemed there might be more to their situation, but Kira was certain she did not want to know the details.  “Well, while the regulations on fraternization may be open to interpretation, I think the station’s chief of security would agree with me that breaching security systems is a serious offense.” 

“Rest assured he will be held accountable for his actions.”

Kira nodded.  “Then, I guess the only thing left to do is to try to get their attention so we can finally get out of here.”

“That might be more difficult than you think Major,” Odo replied, pointing toward the couple.

“Why is that?” Kira asked confused.

“It seems they have moved on from kissing to engage in other…. activities,” Odo answered, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other.

Kira didn’t need to turn around for confirmation, she could hear the soft moans coming through the bulkheads. She closed her eyes for a moment to collect herself from what was becoming an embarrassing situation and when she opened them, she saw Odo still staring behind her at the two officers.

 She called his name, and when he didn’t respond, she tried again, sharper this time. ‘Odo!’”

He turned to her, his body stiff and tense, a trace of color warming his features. A year ago, Kira might have found his discomfort in a situation like this amusing, but things were different now. The moaning coming from the cargo bay intensified as Odo’s eyes found hers, his expression a mix of uncertainty and longing. It made her feel unsteady, and she leaned up against one of the bulkheads for support.

“What do you suggest we do now,” he asked, his voice low and tense.

“Uh…I think in this situation… waiting might be the best option.”   She got no argument from Odo.  So, they stood there awkwardly for what felt like forever, trying to ignore the sounds emanating from the other side of the bulkhead until Odo began pacing.

“Can you stop doing that, it’s making me nervous,” Kira said a bit flustered.

Odo gave her a questioning glance but before he could say anything another loud moan came from the cargo bay.

He shook his head. “Well…they certainly sound like they are enjoying themselves.”

“It’s taking them long enough,” Kira responded with mild irritation.

Odo gave her a confused look.

“What?”

“It's just…. I was under the impression humanoids preferred it to… uh… take a while.”

Kira didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed or amused by his comment.  “I suppose,” she said shaking her head.  “I guess it depends on the situation.”

“Well, my experience is…. somewhat limited when it comes to humanoid mating rituals.”

She looked at him curiously.  “Somewhat?”

Odo turned his gaze up toward the ceiling pretending to inspect one of the overhead panels. After a moment he replied softly, “Arissa and I had…”

“I-I see,” Kira said, interrupting him.  An unexpected tightness gripped her chest.  “And did you…” she paused for a second worried this was too personal of a question, but the words came tumbling out anyway “like it,” she asked so quietly that she didn’t even know if Odo had heard her. 

“Yes,” he said simply, his eyes meeting hers and she felt a rush of warmth spread across her body.  His lips twitched into the faintest smile.  “I imagine… with more practice, I might have proven at least…adequate. There are advantages to being a shapeshifter after all.”

Kira’s mouth hung open in shock.  It was a bold statement, even if he was trying to make a joke. She’d always known there was more behind those guarded eyes, but hearing him admit it, sent a thrill through her body she wasn’t prepared for. She also had never considered the advantages of having a shapeshifter for a lover and now he had her thinking about it. 

 He tilted his head, a hint of amusement still on his face.  “You seem surprised.”

Kira wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of telling him exactly why she was so shocked and instead settled for something simple but also true.   “It’s just…you were always so vocal about how much you hated humanoid relationships.  That’s what I believed.”

“Not everything is always as it seems, Nerys.” 

“I guess not,” she said quietly, the sting of his words sharper than she expected.  It reminded her of the time when the other Odo had told her he had always loved her. That memory still haunted her, a reminder of how badly she could misread him. She was pulled from her thoughts when she noticed Odo take a tentative step toward her, his expression guarded yet hopeful.

“Nerys...” The way he said her name left goosebumps on her skin and she rubbed her hand along the sleeve of her uniform to try to get rid of them.

“I’ve been wondering if you might want to…” he paused.  Kira could feel his vulnerability filling the space between them, making the air heavy to breathe.

She drew in a sharp breath.  Maybe Odo was finally about to cross that invisible line. The thought made her chest tighten, but she was so tired of the tension filled silences. If this was the moment, so be it.

“Go ahead,” she said, her heart beating wildly in her chest. But before Odo could open his mouth to say anything else, the lights in the holding area became bright again and the doors to the cargo bay slid open revealing the two officers as they walked in together hand in hand.  It took Kira a moment to realize what had happened, so focused on what Odo was going to say but she recovered quickly and turned to the officers.   They both looked mortified.

Officer Benin addressed Odo nervously.  “Sir, exactly how long have you been here?”

“That hardly matters. For now, you’re under suspicion for tampering with security protocols.”   Benin hung his head in silence, as Odo came up behind him to escort him back out to the corridor. 

Kira turned her attention to the Starfleet Ensign.  “Ensign, please report to Ops at 06:00 hours today.  You and I need to have a little chat with the captain.”

“Yes sir, sorry sir,” she babbled and quickly ran out of the holding area. 

As Kira walked back to the promenade alone, her last thought was of Odo, and how he never got to ask her his question.  Then everything went black.

Chapter Text

When Kira stepped into the holosuite, she was uneasy, even a little skeptical. It had been weeks since that night in the holding area.  Odo had kept his distance from her and Kira had convinced herself it was all for the best. But then the hologram Vic had appeared with an invitation from Odo to dinner. She had accepted the invite despite her doubts and her annoyance that Odo refused to ask her himself. Still… this was Odo. If this was the way he chose to take that step, then she wouldn’t object.  She hoped tonight would finally put an end to the tension — one way or another.

The holosuite wasn’t where Kira had imagined their first date, but if it made Odo more comfortable, she’d go along with it. Once they sat down however, she realized she was the nervous one. This Odo was different—his voice softer, his gaze unguarded, even his clothes offered a side of him she’d never seen. Vic clearly had left his mark. And yet, despite Odo’s newfound openness, Kira still couldn’t shake the question of where it all might lead. It left her so anxious she couldn’t eat.

“What do we do now,” she asked, smiling but inwardly her heart was pounding.  She didn’t like feeling this way.    

Odo stood from his seat.  “The only thing we can do…. dance with me,” he said holding out his hand.

“Uh, I’m not sure I know how to dance to this kind of music,” she replied honestly getting up to join him.  It was not at all like the music she was accustomed to on Bajor. 

“Just stay close,” he said simply.  He took the lead, placing her hand on his shoulder while wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her towards him. The physical contact sent a pleasant warmth through her body, and she marveled again at his quiet confidence and the ease with which he moved her across the dance floor even when she stumbled over his feet.

“Oh, sorry,” she said a bit embarrassed, but Odo didn’t seem to mind. 

“No, that’s good,” he said with encouragement.

Odo guided her in close, then let her slip away into a quick twirl.  The unexpected movement made her laugh, and when he drew her back to face him, their eyes met — and suddenly, all her doubts vanished, replaced by a single truth. She loved him. The intensity of it startled her; she wasn’t one for grand emotional sentiments, but she felt it deep within her pagh. Odo had been her one constant for the last several years. He had seen her at her worse and yet his faith in her never wavered.  He was her confidant, her fiercest supporter, and her truest friend. Loving him, she realized now, made perfect sense.

As they continued to dance, he pulled her in closer, his eyes taking in the sight of her and a nervous thrill ran through her as she half expected him to kiss her.

 “I had no idea you could dance,” she said a bit breathless.

“It’s amazing what you can learn in a holosuite.”

“I can’t believe we are having our first date in a holosuite,” she replied, smiling at the irony of the situation. She was, however, eager to leave and go someplace more private. It was no secret she disliked holosuites and she did not want Vic listening in to anymore of their conversation.

“I understand you wouldn’t be comfortable at Quark’s, but I know one or two out of the way restaurants on the station...”

“Well, I don’t think that’s possible,” Odo replied, and Kira smiled at his jest.

“You embarrassed of being seen with me?” she teased back.

“No. No…I meant… it would be difficult for you to leave the holosuite.”

“Why,” she asked a bit confused.

“Well, it’s complicated,” he said, suddenly very uncomfortable. Clearly, something wasn’t right.

“Complicated to leave a holosuite?  You make it sound like I’m a hologram,” she responded, an anxious smile spreading across her face.

“Aren’t you,” he said, more a statement than a question and Kira looked at him dumbfounded.

“Is that what you think,” she asked dropping his hand and backing away.

Odo looked to Vic who had already descended from the stage. “Maybe you’d better tell her.” 

“There’s nothing to tell.  I’m good pally but I’m not that good.  You’ve been dancing with the real McCoy.”

Kira turned to Odo; his expression of shock and embarrassment mirrored her own.

“You tricked me.” Odo said to Vic, stunned.

“And me,” Kira added.  The thought that a hologram had blindsided them both angered her. 

“Hey, I brought you two lovebirds together. That was the whole idea, wasn’t it?” Vic said defensively.

Kira turned back to face Odo but before she could say anything, he spoke, his voice layered with guilt and shame. 

“Nerys…. Kira…. Major…”

And with each variation of her name, she saw him retreat further into himself until he walked out of the holosuite completely defeated.

That was the last straw. Kira turned on Vic, exasperated. He’d meddled where he didn’t belong, rattled Odo, and ruined the night. One look at her face and Vic wisely ended the program, leaving her alone. She lowered her head with a frustrated sigh. This wasn’t how she’d wanted the evening to end. But sulking wasn’t her way. Odo would retreat now, ashamed and second-guessing everything, and if she left it there, nothing would ever change. That was no longer acceptable. She would have to be the one to confront him and soon.

And as she stepped out of the holosuite, finally thinking clearly, she felt that familiar pull again before everything went black.

Chapter Text

“Nerys…Nerys…. MAJOR KIRA!” a voice yelled out and Kira was so startled she dropped the padd she had been holding.

“Oh, sorry Jadzia,” she said flustered and bent down to pick up the padd from the floor.

Jadzia had an amused look on her face.  “I must say Nerys, I’ve never seen you this distracted before.”

“What are you talking about,” Kira asked trying to ignore Jadzia’s observations.

“You have been staring at that padd for the last half hour.”

“So,” Kira asked defensively. “I’m working.”

Jadzia gave her a sideways glance.  “Really…What’s it about?”

Kira opened her mouth to answer and then abruptly closed it.  She shook her head slightly, a knowing smile on her lips.  “Honestly, I have no idea.”

“That must have been some kiss,” Jadzia said teasingly.

“It was.”  Kira kept her answer simple, though her gaze turned distant as she remembered the feel of Odo’s lips on hers, and how tightly he had held her.  He had stirred something deep inside her more than she wanted to admit.

Jadzia leaned up against Kira’s console a thoughtful expression on her face.  “Who would have thought Odo could be that passionate.”

Kira shook her head.  “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“So,” Jadzia drawled, “What are your plans for tonight,” she asked lifting her eyebrows.

Kira shifted uncomfortably and turned her attention to the blinking lights on her console.  “Don’t you have work to do?”

Jadzia rolled her eyes.  “Oh, come on Nerys.”

Kira sighed.  “If you must know, we have plans to meet later to talk.”

Jadzia leaned in a little, her eyes sparkling with mischief.  “Just talking?” she repeated, drawing out the words.

“Yes,” Kira said firmly.

“Ugh, sometimes talking can be so overrated.”

Kira groaned. “You are unbelievable.”

“And you’re blushing,” Jadzia countered with a grin.

Kira rolled her eyes even as the heat rising in her cheeks betrayed her. She turned her attention back to her console, pretending to study the blinking lights again.

Jadzia’s tone softened and she placed her hand lightly on Kira’s arm. “I am happy for you Nerys…. both of you.”

Kira looked up from her console, a genuine yet shy smile spread across her face.  “Thank you,” she said warmly. 

“Enjoy your…. talk,” Jadzia added with a wink leaving Kira with an amused expression on her face.

 As much as Kira didn’t want to admit it, Jadzia had been right.  She was terribly distracted and the day felt like it wasn’t moving at all.  After their kiss on the promenade that had garnered quite a bit of attention, they had walked to Odo’s office for some privacy but as soon as they entered, Odo was summoned to one of the airlocks to deal with a security issue and Sisko had called Kira back to ops for a station briefing.  They quickly made plans to meet at the Bolian restaurant at 21:00 hours before departing.  Kira was anxious to see him again and had even considered visiting him during her break, but she knew it was best to wait until they were both off duty so they could avoid any further interruptions.

After Kira’s shift finally ended, she was on her way back to her quarters when a dress in one of the display windows outside Garak’s shop caught her eye.  Kira owned few dresses.  She had always considered them impractical and uncomfortable but there was something about the thought of wearing a new dress to dinner that intrigued her, so against her better judgement, she decided to take a closer look. She had barely stopped when a familiar voice addressed her from behind.

“Ah, Major. I must say, seeing you linger in front of my window is a most unusual surprise… How may I be of assistance?”

Kira quickly looked away from the window display. “I wasn’t lingering Garak, I was just passing by on my way to the habitat ring,” she lied.

“Really, that’s odd, because I distinctly thought I saw you admiring that blue dress.”

 She titled her head and her lips curved but the expression gave no warmth. “Well maybe you need your eyes checked,” she said sarcastically. 

“Dr. Bashir tells me my vision is perfect, but I guess anyone can make a mistake from time to time.”

“I’m going to go now,” she said dismissively but as she turned around to walk away, Garak called after her.

“You know Major, a most intriguing little rumor drifted my way today.”

She should have kept walking, but something made her turn back.  “Did it,” she asked, her voice flat, her face carefully blank.

“Yes, apparently the station’s chief of security was seen fraternizing with another high-ranking officer in the middle of the promenade.  You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that now, would you?”

Kira let out a frustrated sigh.  “I don’t have time for this Garak.” And she moved to walk away again but Garak stepped in front of her. 

“Perhaps not, but I do find something quite curious.”

Kira knew she should just leave, but Garak had a way of piquing her interest. “What’s that?” she asked, her tone clipped, betraying nothing. 

“Well, you see, the Constable was in here the other day, and I asked him his opinion on which dress I should place in the display.  After his initial protestations about not being qualified, I urged him to use his imagination.   Which as luck would have it, is why that very dress now graces my storefront window.”

Kira did not know what to say.  She didn’t want to give Garak the satisfaction of being right, yet after what he’d just revealed, she couldn’t deny how much she now wanted the dress. 

“By the look on your face, Major, I believe I’ve put you in something of a conundrum.”

Kira hated how easily he had read her- but she still wanted the dress.  She narrowed her eyes at him.  “Fine. Let’s just get this over with,” and she walked past him into the shop.

Then everything went black again.

Chapter Text

Alone in her quarters Kira stared at her reflection in the mirror.  She hated to admit it, but Garak had been right.  The dress suited her.  It was simple yet flattering.  She brushed her fingertips across the smooth edge of the neckline, surprised at how soft it felt against her skin. A small smile tugged at her lips as she wondered, just for a moment, what Odo’s reaction would be when he saw her.

“Computer, time,” she asked, as she quickly ran her hands through her hair.

“The time is 20:50 hours.”

Luckily, she wouldn’t have to wait long.

The Bolian restaurant was in a secluded part of the station, on the upper level of the promenade. When Kira entered, there were only a handful of people scattered among the tables, eating, drinking and enjoying themselves. She scanned the room and saw Odo sitting at the back of the restaurant, waiting. He was dressed in the same black tuxedo from the previous night. She stood there for a moment, watching him. His posture was unnaturally rigid, hands clasped tightly on the table. Typical Odo.  The sight made her smile. He wasn’t handsome by Bajoran standards, but there was something about the way he carried himself that she found attractive—and in that tuxedo, she had to admit, he looked good.  When their eyes met from across the room, Odo stood slowly from his seat taking in the sight of her. 

“Hi,” Kira said softly as she approached him, a warm smile on her face.

When he didn’t answer, she called to him in a questioning voice, “Odo?”

He jumped slightly at the sound of his name.  “Your dress….” His voice faltered. 

“Like it?” she asked lightly, inwardly pleased with herself.

Odo nodded, his eyes still fixed on her body.  “Far too much.”

Kira swallowed hard, surprised the effect such simple words could have on her.   

“Shall we sit,” she asked pointing to the table.

“Yes,” he murmured, still clearly distracted.

The back end of the restaurant was designed to be more intimate.  Each table had its own loveseat that could fit two people.  There were no separate chairs.  Kira slid into the seat first and Odo followed leaving a small space between them. They sat in awkward silence but the air around them felt electric. Kira chanced a look in Odo’s direction, and his expression told her everything she already knew.  Dinner had been a bad idea.

“Are you planning to eat anything,” he asked, staring straight ahead at nothing. 

Kira lowered her head, studying the tablecloth.  “No,” she answered, her voice firm, her heart pounding in her chest. 

“Want to get out of here?”

“Very much.”

They were both out of their seats in an instant, with Kira leading the way.  When they crossed over the threshold from the restaurant onto the promenade Kira turned around to face him.

“My quarters or yours,” she said without any hesitation.  Odo’s eyes widened in surprise, but Kira didn’t wait for his answer.

“Mine then.”  And she grabbed his arm pulling him with her toward the entrance to the turbolift.

“Habitat ring section A2,” she commanded once inside.  Neither of them spoke during the ride, but Kira could feel Odo standing close behind her.  Then, without a word, she felt his fingertips lightly brush the top of her exposed shoulder.  The contact was brief but intense sending a shiver through her body.  She wanted to lean into him, to feel his hands upon her again but the turbolift came to a halt and the doors opened.

They walked through the habitat ring in silence until they reached the door to her quarters.  She could feel the heat of Odo’s form warming her skin as he stood next to her.  Her fingers fumbled trying to punch in her access code, and the doors refused to open.  She growled something under her breath in Bajoran and tried again.  When she finally gained entry, she walked in ahead of him. A few moments later, she heard the familiar swoosh of the doors as they closed.  At last, they were alone. 

“Lights,” she commanded to the computer. 

She kept her body facing forward and Odo took up position behind her again.  Kira waited, hoping he’d make the first move.  When he didn’t, she turned her head slightly to the side and whispered softly to him.

“You can touch me again…if you want.”

She heard him take in a sharp breath and after a beat felt his hands come to rest upon the back of her neck. They were warm and smooth and when he began to trail his fingertips slowly over her shoulder and down her arm, she closed her eyes overwhelmed by the sensation.  When he got to the crease of her elbow, he took his thumb and lightly rubbed the sensitive skin there causing goosebumps to form. She reached across her body and covered his hand with her own. 

 “Your hands…. they’re trembling.”

“This is the part where I usually wake up,” he replied, his warm breath tickling her neck.

“You’ve thought about this before,” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“Too many damn times.”

She squeezed his hand, then turned to face him. His eyes locked on hers.  Slowly, he lifted his hand to her face, letting his fingertips trace the line of her jaw while his thumb grazed her bottom lip. Kira let out a slow breath then leaned in letting her lips touch his.  Their first kiss on the promenade had been rough and urgent fueled by years of pent-up tension breaking loose.  This one was slow, tentative and achingly tender and it made Kira’s heart constrict in her chest.  When their lips parted, she rested her forehead against his, eyes closed, their hands intertwined.  They stayed liked that for several moments, until she drew her head back to look at him.

“That felt good,” she said, a shy smile spreading across her face.

“Which part,” he asked curious.

“All of it.”

He let go of her hand, his fingers sliding up her arm to her shoulder.  His fingertips grazed the strap of her dress, lifting it gently, rolling the fabric between his fingers.

“You can’t imagine how long I’ve wanted to hold you like this,” he said, his eyes tracking the movement of his hands.   

 “Are you saying I’m irresistible?” she asked, a hint of playfulness in her tone.

He gave her one of his half-finished smiles.  “Something like that.” He continued to toy with the strap of her dress as his expression grew serious.

“What I feel for you….” He drew in a steadying breath.  “It’s difficult to put into words.”

Kira smiled, his quiet confession settling deep inside her. “I know,” she said softly, shaking her head. There was so much she wanted to tell him, but she was a soldier at heart; flowery, overdramatic declarations of love weren’t her style. “I feel the same way.”

“What happens now?” He asked, his voice strained, as he gently tucked a small wisp of her hair behind her ear. 

“Well,” she paused, pressing her lips together thoughtfully.  “You could stay.”

Odo looked at her in surprise.  “Stay?” he questioned nervously, taking a small step backward.

She nodded.

He cleared his throat. “It’s late…. I have an early shift tomorrow morning.”

 “I’m sure something can be arranged,” she said mischievously, closing the space between them again. “I know the person who manages the duty roster.”

“Do you?” he asked as a low chuckle escaped his lips. 

Kira smiled.  “So… you’re staying, then.” It came out more a statement than a question. She took his hands, gently pulling him toward the bedroom — but as they reached the door, Odo froze. His face serious, body rigid, hands trembling.

“Nerys…I….” He stammered.  “I really should leave.”

She squeezed his hand again.  “It’s okay, Odo.  I’m nervous too.”

“All the more reason for me to go,” he replied but Kira noticed his voice lacked conviction.

She studied him for a moment.  “Is that what you really want?” 

For a beat he said nothing, as he struggled to decide. Then his eyes met hers.

“No,” he choked out, with the weight of everything he could no longer contain. 

Kira’s pulse quickened.  “Then stop hesitating and make your move.”

Odo released a strangled breath closing the distance between them in an instant, his mouth finding hers, the kiss insistent and hungry. Kira’s knees went weak, and she clutched at him to steady herself. As their kisses deepened, he moved forward pressing her up against the bedroom door, his hands tracing the curve of her body until his fingertips brushed the hem of her dress. He lifted it just enough for his touch to graze the smooth skin of her thigh. A quiet moan escaped her lips.  The intensity of the moment was dizzying, even a little frightening, but she wasn’t turning back. She wanted this. She wanted him.

“Let’s go inside,” she murmured between kisses.  Odo nodded, releasing his hold on her.

Kira opened the door to her bedroom and crossed to her vanity expecting to see his reflection behind her, but he was still by the doorway. The confidence of a moment ago gone, replaced by uncertainty again.

 “I hope you’re not planning to stand there all night,” she said half teasing.

“The thought had crossed my mind,” he admitted, a wry note in his voice.

“Odo…” she called to him, coaxing him forward.

Slowly, he stepped over the threshold into her room.  In the six years they had been on the station together, he had only been to her quarters a few times, but never here.  Seeing him in her bedroom now felt a bit surreal.   

He made his way toward her, his eyes never leaving hers.  She managed a small smile, her heart hammering in her chest as she turned her back toward him.

“You’ll need to undo the zipper,” she whispered. 

She stared down at the floor, her body trembling slightly as she waited for him to begin.  It seemed to take an eternity, but eventually she felt his hand brush against the small of her back, the slow rasp of the zipper filling the room, intimate and final.  When the last notch of the zipper was undone, her dress hung loosely over her body, held in place only by the thin straps that rested upon her shoulders. Odo gently pushed the straps down, letting the dress slide off her onto the floor. She wanted to turn and face him, but the emotional weight of the moment kept her anchored in place unable to move. She couldn’t remember a time when she had felt this nervous. She had been a soldier in the resistance, had fought in countless battles, and had taken lovers.  But this…. this was different.  This was Odo.  He knew her in a way no one else ever had, and he was the most important person in her life.

“Nerys?” he said her name in a questioning tone, sensing her unease.

She took in a calming breath afraid that he would misinterpret her nervousness and try to leave again.

“It’s okay, Odo,” she said, slowly finding the courage to turn and face him.

His eyes went wide at the sight of her naked body, the skin of his neck tightening as he struggled to swallow. He held her gaze briefly before letting his eyes wonder over the rest of her.  He took his time, silently studying every peak and valley of her form. Kira was surprised by how intensely her body reacted to his visual exploration and when he reached out and began to trail his fingertips from her collar bone to her breastbone, she lost all sense of herself and pulled him to her.  She let her tongue slip between his lips, her fingers tangling in his perfectly formed hair.  Odo’s hands began to roam freely over Kira’s body to the places his eyes had memorized.  Kira’s skin felt on fire with every stroke of his touch, but it wasn’t enough.  She wanted to feel his bare body against hers.  She began to tug at his tuxedo but no matter how hard she tired she could not undress him. Then she remembered why.

“How do I…?” she demanded as they kissed, grabbing onto the arm of his jacket for emphasis. 

Odo broke their kiss then reached up to gently remove her arms from around his neck.  He lifted one of her hands to his lips, placing a light kiss on the inside of her palm, then he placed her arms gently at her sides. 

“Close your eyes, Nerys,” he said in a raspy voice, letting the tips of his fingers fall lightly upon her eyelids until she could no longer see. A moment passed and then suddenly the air filled with the faint, wet gurgle of his body rearranging itself.  A wave of disappointment washed over Kira.  She had wanted to see, to know this part of him too. But she understood how private he was, and she didn’t want to risk making him uncomfortable.

“You can open your eyes now,” he whispered.  So, she did.  He stood before her, as naked as she was, his flawless skin shimmering in the dimly lit room. Unlike his face, his body was a perfect replica of a human male. Wordlessly she reached out, tracing the hard lines of his upper torso, reveling in the feel of his bare skin against her fingertips. He trembled slightly under her touch, and Kira could tell it was taking all his concentration to maintain his self-control.  But when her hand dipped slightly past his waist, he grabbed her wrist, then pulled her against him, his resolve slipping away, as he kissed her with a fierceness that told her he had been waiting years for this moment. She let him take the lead, moving her toward the bed as they explored each other.  Suddenly she felt her knees hit the edge of the mattress and she lost her balance. Together they toppled onto the bed, a mass of tangled arms and legs.

“Nerys.” Odo said, visibly concerned.  “Are you alright?”

Kira stared up at him, as a nervous giggle escaped her lips.  “I’m fine,” she said cupping his face in her hands.  “Now…where were we?”  She didn’t wait for an answer as her lips found his again.

As they kissed, Kira could feel his desire pressing against her, and when he began to trail his lips down her neck, her lower body instinctively reacted by pushing into his. 

“Nerys...” He called out, his body shaking, waiting for her permission.

“Do it,” she breathed, her tone leaving no room for doubt.

 Without further hesitation, Odo took hold of her thigh for leverage and in one quick motion he entered her.  The sensation was overwhelming, and Kira threw her head back, eyes closed, as a deep moan escaped her lips.  They stayed frozen like that for several moments adjusting to the feel of each other, but then Odo began to move inside her and she clung to him, claiming his lips in another kiss.  Odo placed one of Kira’s arms above her head, entwining his fingers with hers as he began to move with greater urgency.  She held on to him, eyes shut tight, pleasure building deep within her, desperate for release.

“Look at me, Nerys,” he demanded. 

And when she opened her eyes and stared into his, she knew their relationship would not be the simple, peaceful one she had shared with Bareil nor the more pragmatic one she’d had with Shakaar.  This would be very different.  That single thought, coupled with the feel of him inside her, sent her over the edge.  Her body shuddered, his name breaking from her lips like a prayer.  And in the immediate aftermath of her release, she could have sworn she heard Odo whisper “I love you” before he too surrendered to his own pleasure.

In the moments that followed, the only sound that could be heard was their heavy breathing as it returned to normal.  Odo placed a gentle kiss on the top of Kira’s forehead and then turned onto his back, lying next to her.  They both stared silently at the ceiling, deep in contemplation.  Kira broke the silence first.

“Aren’t you glad you stayed,” she asked nudging his arm with her own, a sly smile on her face.

Odo let out a low chuckle.  “Indeed.” He paused, “That was….”

“Long overdue,” Kira finished. She shook her head.  “What the hell were we thinking waiting all these years?”

“Well, you have known about my feelings for over a year now, Nerys.”

She turned her head to look at him.  “Are you saying this is somehow my fault?” Her voice a mix of surprise and amusement.

“No….” Odo said, uneasy.

“Why do I feel like there’s a “but” coming?”

“But you never gave me any indication you felt the same way…. until yesterday.”

“You never asked me out until yesterday.”   

“Actually, I didn’t…. Vic did.”

“Exactly my point,” she responded, laughing.

“So,” he said thoughtfully, his fingers tapping against his chest.  “What are we now?”

Kira gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m not an expert on humanoid relationships but I have observed that some can be more casual while others more serious.”

Kira smiled.  He was cute when he was trying to be unassuming.  She turned onto her side to face him, linking her hand with the one on his chest.

“I wouldn’t have asked you to stay if I thought this relationship was going to be casual.”

Odo looked at her relieved.  “That’s good, because all I’ve ever wanted was to be with you…. only you.”

She smiled at him again, squeezing his hand.  “Well, you have me.” 

Then her expression turned mischievous.  “The question is now that you have me, what will you do with me?”

Odo let his fingers trace the inside of her arm. “I can think of few things, but don’t you want to finish talking first?”

She was reminded of her earlier conversation with Jadzia.  “You know Odo, sometimes talking is overrated.” And she pulled him toward her, claiming his lips with her own until everything went black again.