Archive of Our Own ^beta

Bruce had his phone held against his ear as he asked through the phone, "Do you think Hal could be homophobic?"

The only reason Kate had picked up the call was because she saw Bruce's name pop up. From the dark bruises under her eye to the mounting restless nights that had left her utterly worn out. Picking up a call was the last thing she wanted to do. In the middle of winding down for the evening, Kate had wanted to ignore the call. Whoever it was could wait until tomorrow.

Surely, they didn't need her that urgently. When she saw it'd been Bruce though, she'd picked up. Not because she thought it was an emergency, she would've heard it through another channel not just an offhanded, regular phone call. But Bruce is family and therefore a priority. Even over her own priceless sleep which she'd been dreaming about all day.

Only for the call to pick up after a few rings, and for that to be Bruce's opening line. Kate doesn't mean to let the line fall dead but honestly she'd speechless. A pin drop could be heard, that's how silent the call gets. Then she can hear Bruce moving around restlessly on the other end of the line. Slowly but surely, Kate then realizes Bruce is asking a serious, genuine question.

"You're the detective." Kate says, how lost she feels sounds evident in her tone of voice, "What's got you asking this? Haven't you been seeing each other for a while now? Has he said something to you?"

With the more Kate asks questions, the more she starts to worry. Kate and Bruce had been open about their sexualities with each other for a long time, even before it became public knowledge to others for Kate. Bruce on the other hand had kept a lower profile around it. Never denying it but never explicitly going out of his way to alert people towards it.

Out of all of Bruce's curious, previous fumbles, this had seemed like the first relationship Bruce was serious about, with another man. Though they didn't go into too much detail about it, Bruce had come to her early on to speak with her about it. Being one of the first people to find out, Kate was truly shocked at the prospect of it having turned sour so quickly.

"Has he done something to you?"

Kate knows Bruce can take care of himself but this is different. Something this sensitive, no matter how strong or capable Bruce is, could really damage him. Even if she'd been moments away from wanting to fall asleep, she felt more wide awake than ever. Basically clutching her phone, holding herself back from suiting back up and hunting this man down.

"No it's just- It's complicated."

"When isn't it, Bruce? Come on, what's happened?"

Sounding reluctant to explain, as if he's being foolish, Bruce explains himself, "He keeps trying to hide me."

"Excuse me?"

With a sigh, Bruce starts going into detail about the different instances he'd noticed. The first time it happened, they'd been early on in their relationship and a little enthusiastic. Unable to wait until they got somewhere more private, Bruce had pulled Hal down an alleyway. The sun was bright overhead but the shadows allowed by the alleyway was comforting.

A warm day and the sun kissed against their skin as they'd walked along the street. Bruce had been in a meeting at Wayne Enterprise and Hal had come to pick him up. Nothing fancy but just a stolen moment in-between their hectic schedules. With a heart almost bursting with favour towards the man, Bruce hadn't been able to think of anything else other than dragging him away to kiss him breathless.

Pressing Hal up against a brick wall and kissing him. Bruce ignored the garbage being blown about in the light breeze a few metres from where they stood. Graffiti in several bright colours lay drying on the wall opposite them. On the street just outside the alleyway, people were going about their day. Cars were honking impatiently. Conversation was loud as people moved about.

Breathless and left almost gasping for breath. Hal had pushed back against Bruce as much as Bruce pushed against him. Body temperatures beginning to rise as they feel themselves against each other. Lost in the moment that felt too good to be true. Pleasure racing through them. Eagerly moving against one another, breaths hot against each other's mouths.

While Bruce had his eyes shut, Hal had opened them. In a moment that Bruce hadn't expected, too caught up in the moment, they'd been spun around. All of a sudden, it was Bruce being pressed up against a wall. Though it wasn't as if Hal was fighting him for dominance. The way their bodies were positioned, Bruce couldn't reach next to anything above Hal's chest in height.

Staring in front of himself. Bruce felt himself panting, blinking his eyes in surprise as Hal holds him against his chest. There was someone at the end of the alley, just a few steps away from where they were. Hal was saying something to them, but Bruce couldn't hear over the roaring sounds in his ears. Cooling down only after being forcibly detached from Hal.

After the people left and Hal had flashed them his winning smile. Hal pulled away, he'd grabbed Bruce's hand and decided to lead them elsewhere. Embarrassingly enough, for Bruce at least, it had taken him a while to adjust to the whiplash. After they'd left the alley, Hal had dropped his hand. They'd walked close, perhaps closer than regular friends did, but it didn't feel the same.

It was the first time, but it didn't turn out to be the last instance Bruce picked up on. There was another day where they'd been in bed together at a Gala event. He'd dressed himself well and Hal hadn't been able to keep his hands off of him. Encouraged by Hal's enthusiasm, they'd found themselves a room with a bed. Somewhere nearby enough for them to escape off to.

Between the push and pull of their bodies. Hal's shirt had been mostly unbuttoned, and his pants had been pulled down just enough to pull himself out. Bruce had his own pants dangling off of one leg, while the bottom of his shirt was pushed up his back. One of Hal's arms was wrapped around the front of Bruce. Keeping his body upright as Bruce struggled to keep himself together.

They hadn't been too mindful of the noises they were making. Caught up in the moment together, kisses hot and lips wet. Hal was always more vocal than Bruce anyway, so he thought if anyone heard, they'd know what was happening in here and would turn the other way. The temperature in the room felt near sweltering as their bodies came together in such an intimate way.

Sticky with sweat and other fluids. Bruce had enjoyed the feeling of Hal's exposed chest pressed up against his back. One of Hal's hands on hips hip to steady himself while the other supported Bruce upright. It felt good. Not just the feeling of Hal inside of him, but how Hal liked to hold him. No one had ever treated Bruce with the type of gentleness Hal liked to use.

Of course, it made Bruce feel loved. Something precious to be held and admired closely. Hal had pressed kisses on the back of Bruce's neck, watching the flush of a red blush rising along his skin. Pale enough to show the reddening skin visibly. Talking to him like he always liked to, Bruce had allowed himself to relax his body into this position, trusting Hal.

Which is why it'd felt so startling when he suddenly found himself face down on the bed. Face pushed down, gently enough, and twisted away from the bedroom door. It'd just been opened, and a couple of drunk people hovered by the entrance. Blood rushing, Bruce heard as Hal convinced the drunk people from his position on the bed, to leave them alone.

Polite and courteous but serious. Completely stopping himself from moving inside of Bruce all the while. Thankfully, Hal managed to convince them to leave with minimal effort. But it felt like the moment had been ruined for them. Pressed down into the slick sheets of the bed below him. Bruce felt a strange feeling welling up inside of himself.

Finishing was done almost out of habit. Sighing about how he could've sworn he'd locked the bedroom door when they'd come in. For the first time in Bruce's life, he felt utterly conflicted. Laying on his back while Hal put himself away in his pants. Bruce had thought that it'd never hurt this badly before. When other people used him, he'd gotten used to it and had expected it.

Everything had felt different with Hal. There was real, genuine love between them that Bruce treasured more than anything. But there was something laying underneath the surface that was eating away at Bruce. It made his heart ache to think about, so Bruce tired not to think about it too often. Internalizing it like he liked to do, keeping quiet.

It was as if Hal was perfect for Bruce, just the two of them in the world. Completely in love and obsessed with each other. Such a lovely feeling, Bruce always felt himself getting swept up into it. Able to completely forget about those horrible feelings. There was no sadness or longing in those moments, no frustrated betrayal or lingering anger clinging to him.

But then it would happen again. Moments where it truly seemed like Hal thought there was nothing worse than being seen with Bruce. Maybe it could've been about Hal having a sense of propriety. Embarrassed about being seen in intimate moments. That just didn't make sense though when Hal confidently spoke up about being walked in on numerous times, laughing as he talked about not stopping despite the intrusion.

On top of that, it wasn't just in the case of intimate moments. In one moment, they might be holding hands, talking with only an inch of space between them. Then in the next, there'd be distance made, and Bruce would look around to see what'd happened. Hal would always look down at him with an expression of relief. As if he'd just, in that moment, escaped some travesty.

Listening to this, Kate couldn't make sense of it at all, "Bruce, there has to be something more to this. Have you talked to him?"

"Talked to him?" Bruce parroted.

"Yes, Bruce. You actually need to talk to him if you want to clear things up. Why're you jumping to thinking he's homophobic without just asking him why he's been acting this way?"

"Simplest explanation."

"I'm going to believe you're being difficult because you're feeling vulnerable, and I'm going to ignore what you just said. Now, will you listen to me and go talk to him before rushing to anymore conclusions?"

"What if he tells me he's homophobic?"

As if it was a stupid question, Kate sounded exacerbated as she said, "Then you tell me. I go hunt him down and make sure he never bothers anyone else ever again. How's that sound?"

Though Kate was trying to add a hint of lightness to the mood. Afterall, she was being partly serious. If it did turn out that Hal Jordan, Green Lantern representative for Earth, was homophobic. Well, she simply wouldn't let that stand. Being so bigoted and hurting people, playing with their feelings. How could Bruce imagine she'd let that slide at all.

Especially given he would've been hurting Bruce. Kate felt her heart hurting for Bruce all over again, cursing Bruce for rushing to conclusions and getting herself all worked up as well. They spoke back and forth a few times before Kate was finally let go. Permitted to sleep, and when her head hit the pillow, for the first time in a while, she found that she fell straight asleep.

Bruce found himself in the Justice League headquarters the next day. Around midmorning, he'd come here in search of someone. When he saw the familiar Green Lantern suit before his eyes, Bruce found himself oddly nervous. Unfortunately, unlike what Kate had hoped when they'd dropped the call last night, Bruce's first destination wasn't his own Green Lantern.

"John."

Sounding unusually formal upon his approach. Bruce was met with a curious stare from John but he didn't say anything. Simply greeted Bruce, turning to finish whatever it was he was doing, before turning his attention on Bruce. Clearly sensing that Bruce had something to discuss. John didn't say anything at first, he leant against a low table and waited.

"You've known Hal for a long time, right?"

"It's almost impressive when you think about it." John said with a half smile, "Friendships lasting this long in this line of work."

Nodding his head in agreeance, Bruce continued his questioning, "And would you say that you share a lot? Between all of you Lanterns?"

"For the most part."

Not trying to be difficult but left genuinely curious. John tries to feel out where this is going. With Bruce looking so apprehensive, it leaves him a little concerned about where their conversation is going. Especially if it's about Hal, the issue could be anything. There's already a throbbing in John's temple as he lets the two of them continue their talk.

"Has he- you know, has he told you?"

Vague enough but John could put the pieces together well enough, "About the two of you being together?"

Hearing it said so outright, Bruce felt his eyes widening unconsciously. Though Bruce felt he was fairly obvious in his questioning, no matter how he tried to skirt around saying it out loud. John had not only understood but had made it clear that it was obvious he knew. Not knowing what to do with this information, Bruce bit at his bottom lip for a moment.

"Yeah." Bruce's voice was so soft when he answered, it sounded more like an exhale than anything.

"It was pretty obvious something had happened. Hal came bouncing home as if he'd won the lottery." His voice was a little fond as he spoke about the memory of Hal after he'd successfully asked out Bruce, "But yes, he came out and told us straight away. Could barely contain himself, I doubt he'd keep something like that to himself unless he couldn't help it."

"Couldn't help it?"

"Well, you know." There were noises playing out around the two of them but Bruce listened in on the sound of John's voice as he spoke, "Our lives aren't so simple. If something was getting in the way of Hal being open about it, that'd be the only thing I could think of."

Barry was over to one side explaining something to Diana. Their conversation carried through the mostly quiet space. There weren't many of them currently here, and it wasn't often Bruce came here so early unless they had something specific for him to do. Diana was staring at Bruce out of the corner of her eye. Curiosity evident on her face but she kept to herself.

The lighting made it so that everyone and everything was visible. John could see all the different thoughts playing out on Bruce's face. Standing this close, John found himself drawn in by Bruce's apparent openness. This was something Bruce was struggling to keep to himself. Unused to dealing with things of this nature, Bruce didn't know how to mask his thoughts about this the same as all his other thoughts.

"If he's done something to upset you, you can talk to me about it."

Taking John up on his offer, Bruce finds himself spilling his guts for the second time, completely unused to being this vocal about his struggles, "My first thought was that he's homophobic. Being seen with me bothers him, and he doesn't want anyone to see us together like that. You tell me that people know we're together though, people whose opinions he cares about, and then that theory doesn't make any sense."

"Didn't exactly make any sense to begin with." John said quietly as Bruce was mulling over his thoughts, "You're too caught up in your own head about this. Why don't you just talk to Hal about it? I'm sure he can explain himself, even if it's a bad explanation. The only way you two can work through it, is if you communicate with each other about it."

All of the advice Bruce seemed to receive had the same message. Bruce had found it a complete relief to open up about these things and communicate with Kate and John. However, it felt like an entirely different thing, thinking about talking it through with Hal. Hal is someone Bruce cares about deeply, and what they have is important to him. Losing it would break Bruce completely.

Walking to the exit on her way out after discussing things with Barry, Diana walks by Bruce and says in a sure voice, "I'm not sure what's been bothering you, Bruce. I can't give you advise other than to get out of your own head. Stop thinking about the worst outcome. You're going to drive yourself crazy doing that. Everyone here all want the best for you, and that includes Hal."

Her hand squeezes Bruce's shoulder in a comforting gesture. The lingering heat of her hand makes Bruce feel less cold. Barry's already left the space and Diana follows him out. John wraps up their conversation with some final words for Bruce. Then he looks over Bruce's shoulder and gives him his best wishes. Though he's a detective through and through, he still somehow doesn't expect that Hal's shown up.

Standing looking a little lost, Hal says, "Barry said you guys needed me here?"

Not saying anything, John gives Hal a particular look before leaving the room. Hal stands there a little perplexed for a while. Then he seems to realize that Bruce hasn't left and turns to face his partner. There's such a look of fondness on Hal's face as their eyes meet. Bruce feels that he's on the verge of tears already. He isn't sure how he's meant to make it through a conversation.

"You could've just called if you wanted to see me."

Hal had a soft smile on his face, a little teasing but nonetheless genuine. He had this look in his eye whenever he was looking at Bruce. The others had noticed it before Bruce had picked up on it because Bruce hadn't believed it could be directed at someone like himself. Slowly but surely, he'd come to accept Hal's feelings as genuine, and they'd gotten together.

The warmth that blossoms between them is beautiful. Their times together are unforgettable. Whether it's feeling the sheets slide beneath them or sitting side by side on a rooftop watching the stars overheard. Bruce counts himself lucky to have not only lived long enough to experience these things, but to experience them with the man he deeply loves.

"Bruce?"

Something about the look on Bruce's face must worry Hal out of his playful attitude. A crease forms in his eyebrows, and he looks more concerned than anything. Bruce feels guilty for making Hal worry but he can't control how he feels. His stomach is turning and he feels a little nauseous. But he knows he needs to talk about this, and this time he needs to talk to Hal about it directly.

Crushingly direct and to the point, Bruce doesn't spare himself as he asks, "Are you ashamed of me?"

Who knew that a man who'd been given everything, would be metaphorically kneeling at his partners feet. Asking if they feel ashamed of him. Wondering if being seen with them is the worst thing they could imagine. Honestly, Bruce isn't even sure what he could say next if Hal said yes. If Hal didn't break it off with him, would he have enough dignity to break it off or would he simple endure.

A few quick steps brought Hal from the open doorway and over to Bruce. Standing just outside of Bruce's personal space, it looks like Hal has no idea what to do. His clear desire to comfort Bruce, hold him close and wipe away his tears fighting with a hesitance to do any of that. Not sure as to what's happened to lead Bruce to this but not wanting to overstep, no matter what it turns out to be.

"You think I'm ashamed of you?" There's confusion in Hal's voice, and a roughness to it too.

"I-," Bruce starts and finds himself stopping, coughing before trying again, "I can't help but worry if you don't want to be seen with me. I thought that maybe it's because we're two men but then I started thinking maybe it's just about it being me you're with."

Deep down, it's what worried Bruce the most. The homophobia would hurt. But if Hal told him that what he disliked the most about their relationship, was that he was in it with Bruce Wayne. Bruce would never find it in himself to recover. He has everything except for the confidence that people will love him for who he is. He tries to believe that they do, but there's always a lingering worry.

Concern, underneath all of his desire to trust. Holding his breath as he awaits the judgement of someone. Like he was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and for someone to tell him he's unworthy of all of this. Bruce's heart is such a fragile thing. He'd handed it over, bloody and beating to Hal. It would utterly crush him if Hal didn't truly accept it.

"When you said yes to me, I raced over to my father to tell him."

Even though the dirt had been soaked through a little too damp for comfort. Hal had sat there and talked, a grin on his face that he hadn't been able to wipe off. As he'd skipped back to the Green Lanterns later on, that smile had still been clear on his face. Going through his contact list, Hal had gone through and told all the people he cared about.

Continuing to speak, "Barry and Ollie teased me for days until I finally stopped beaming. The reality set in and I realized that it was real. This was my life from now on, I was actually dating you. Nothing has ever made me happier."

"But you keep hiding me."

"Hiding you?" Hal looked confused once again, and it was clear he was trying to wrack his brain, "When have I-,"

Like a lightbulb had gone off in Hal's head, he seemed to realize what Bruce was referring to. For a moment he looked surprised. A mix of emotions swirling around on his expression as he considered things carefully. Hal didn't rush to defend himself straight away. Taking a moment to consider Bruce's perspective as he thought about all the memories he held.

It wasn't what Bruce had expected. Whenever he saw drama's play out. They always seemed to dissolve into a screaming match where nobody listens to the other and things just continue to spiral out of control. Bruce was expecting Hal to point the finger at him. Blame him for having these feelings. Not because that's the type of man Hal is, but that's what Bruce had led himself to expect, how he deserved to be treated.

Never in his life had Bruce expected to be faced so seriously, "You're talking about that time at the Gala event? Something like that?"

"Yeah." Once again, Bruce's voice had softened.

"Can I?"

With such carefulness, Hal asked with an outstretched pair of hands, if he could hold Bruce's hands. With no hesitation, Bruce took Hal's hands in his own. Seeking out the comfort provided by Hal's warmth. those familiar hands which he hadn't felt for a few days. Hal had been off world and had only gotten back early this morning. An unintentional opportunity for Bruce to stew in his negative thoughts.

"This is probably going to sound stupid when I say it. Seeing as how this has upset you so much." There was a self-deprecating smile making Bruce's heart twist, on Hal's face as he spoke. "I know how important your identity is to you. Whether it's as Batman or Bruce Wayne, no shortage of effort goes into how you present yourself. Even down to the women you'd show up with for people to snap photos of."

Being faced with his behaviour as a notorious playboy, Bruce couldn't help but feel shame colour his face. An uncomfortable burning blush present on his cheeks. His hands froze in Hal's, but Hal didn't let him go. Interlocked their fingers to bring their hands even closer than before. There was no judgement on Hal's face though, no disgust or anger.

"When you said yes to going out with me, I thought that it was already too good to be true. That you'd give me a chance, it felt like I was luckier than anyone else in this world. But I didn't hope too high or get myself too worked up. Even though we were together, I'd accepted that you'd still need to keep up your persona. Cameras don't stop for you and I made my peace with that."

"You-,"

Politely cutting Bruce off, Hal continued to explain, "Every instance that we were walked in on. I was so worried that you'd be pulled into some sort of new rumour that would dismantle the things you work so hard to build. Though it's not like it doesn't affect me when I hear new about myself, I know it's different for you. You're something I want to protect and I thought I was doing that."

"Hal, you wanted to protect me?"

"Foolishly. Clearly." Hal seemed to scoff at his own assumptions, "I didn't take your feelings into consideration. I assumed things on my own, and I'm sorry. You ended up getting hurt because of it."

"No, I'm sorry."

Using their joined hands, Bruce pulled Hal closer until they were barely a breath away from each other. Looking up at Hal with a softened expression, Bruce no longer felt so devastated. As if he was standing on the edge of a great fall, just waiting for one more thing to knock him over. Leaving him to free fall into the dark abyss underneath his feet.

Instead, he'd found that Hal had been thinking about him this entire time. Though it hadn't exactly worked in either of their favour to think so much on their own. It had only come about in the way it did, because they care about each other so much. With hearts so full, it's no wonder they found themselves too distracted to think clearly. Making a mess of things with only the best intentions.

Bruce couldn't help but laugh at it all. Hal's body seemed to relax upon hearing Bruce laughing. Still a little tense and worried, but his expression didn't look so pained anymore. All it took was one conversation to clear things up. It seemed so ridiculous in retrospect. Bruce considered that Kate would probably get his ass for bothering her with something so easily solved.

Thanking both Kate and John in his heart for being his voice of reason. While he finds himself lost and unsure in this situation. Bruce is glad to have been pushed to face his worries head on. Their lives are both so hectic that this hesitation between them seems so mundane and normal. Just like a regular couple facing small issues they need to overcome.

"I should've talked to you in the first place. I let it fester, and I need to get better at not doing that."

Hal let go of one of Bruce's hands to wipe his thumb over the curve of Bruce's cheek, "Relationships work better with communication. I'll make sure to stop charging head on by myself, and consider talking to you before making rash decisions on my own."

Leaning down for a kiss, whatever was meant to be said next was lost. They'd missed each other and the emotionally charged conversation they'd found themselves in bled into desperation. Holding each other close as they kissed each other until they felt better. In a place like this, they didn't dare go further. Well, Hal dared but he listened to Bruce's reprimand to not do it on the table they meet at.

"Thank you for protecting me." Bruce said, grinning as Hal held him against the large table.

It was digging into Bruce's back, but he didn't mind. Hal's weight leaning against him felt comforting and he didn't want to give it up just yet. Breathing in the scent of Hal had Bruce feeling a little dizzy. Hiding his face in the curve of Hal's neck, breathing him in. Hal continued to hold Bruce against him, soaking up the contact that he'd missed while away.

"You're making fun of me while you can feel how hard I am."

Moving Bruce's head back so Hal could rets their foreheads together. He could feel as Bruce took in a breath, almost sounding like a hiccup. Bruce could feel Hal pressed against him and he couldn't stop the shiver than ran through him at the feeling. Being desired to this degree, where just kissing was enough. Bruce was beginning to rethink being against table sex.

"I don't know if I can hold myself much longer."

Hearing Hal's strained voice and seeing just how desperate his man got after a kiss. Bruce can't help but feel pity for him, especially as he feels Hal pressed up against him so close. Can feel his hardness, the indication of how turned on he's become while being with Bruce. How could he not take pity on him, even if he knows better than to say what he's planning on saying next.

Feeling that hardness pressed up against his leg, Bruce found himself unable to help himself and says against the spit-slick wetness of Hal's parted lips, "Then don't hold back."