Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Once upon a time- No, scratch that.

Let’s start from the top, alright?

It all began…in a small village. Where one day, the floor of its catacombs collapsed! And out from its depths, a wrinkled, humanoid form emerged. It spoke with a woman’s voice and she said:

“I am the queen of a golden country that had fallen a thousand years ago.”

Clinging to the ground, she spoke of how her nation of gold was sealed underground by a ruthless, mad mage . 

“We have remained there since.”

The villagers were terrified. Their hands clung onto their torches and shovels. The woman continued on, gaunt eyes staring.

“To the one who defeats the mage, I shall bestow upon them my entire kingdom.”

Then, she crumbled to dust and vanished .

Zoro could feel the sun on his face. He could hear his ears ringing and his body felt like shit.

Everything hurted.

Hang on…why could he feel the sun on his face?

Groaning, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, his hands running through the soft grass beneath him. In a haze, he opened his eyes and saw the bodies of his companions strewn across the meadow.

No mistaking it, he thought, we’re on the surface.

Zoro looked around and counted. Nami and Usopp were next to each other, so that’s 2 down. Nami clung onto her spiked club (for her dwarven stature, it was quite a large club) and Usopp clutched his ears.

Half-foots really are that sensitive huh.

He could hear Robin chanting as she knelt over Chopper, their deer beast-man healer. Her hands desperately running over him and releasing mana.

Quite a bit of red on Chopper there.

Zoro shook his head and wracked his memory. Who were the others with them? Then, it came to him as he heard the pained groans of 4 individuals.

Their party had allied with the party of one Trafalgar Law’s at the beginning of this raid. Alliances between parties were unusual, since most adventurers were out for their own skins. Zoro and the rest thought Law was no exception, considering the rumours of him being the “Healer of Death” (whatever that meant). But their leader Luffy trusted him and to Zoro, Leader’s orders meant Leader’s orders.

Law and his 3 party members: Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, laid near each other. Although, it was more like Law was crowded around by his panicked companions.

Someone was still missing.

A sharp pain hit Zoro as he looked around again. Six party members including himself and Luffy for their party, then Law’s party was four in total…

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine…

Fuck.

It became very clear to Zoro what had just happened.

(Minutes before.)

After multiple trips cut short due to resurrection, their two parties finally reached the sixth floor of this dungeon. With their numbers and shared power within the alliance, nothing could stop them.

Wrong.

That was what one Roronoa Zoro thought as they saw a giant dragon with crimson red scales breathing down at them. His party leader, Monkey D. Luffy, beamed and marvelled at the creature. Of course, it responded by unleashing a fire breath.

A dragon this size should be no problem for their alliance. Hell, they had 10 people. 3 of whom were skilled mages and the rest (bar Usopp), excellent melee fighters.

Yet it all went wrong.

“ I’m really hungry, ” Luffy had groaned to the rest after he cast a protection spell on them all and punched the dragon square in the eye. Law had berated him for not following a plan but swiftly sent a lightning strike at the dragon’s torso.

Luffy was right, thought Zoro as he ran to support Nami after she was hit by the dragon’s claws. They were all starving.

And it made everyone so sluggish.

Their map had a minor mistake and though minor, it made them waste an entire day wandering. Then 3 days worth of provisions went down a trap.

Zoro saw Shachi charge at the dragon with his axe, but he and Nami (now healed by Chopper) were immediately blasted by fire.

Shit, this is bad.

He rushed to cover for them, drawing his second sword from its sheath.

No one was dying here, they were too far down.

As Zoro turned to get to Nami and Shachi, he felt two hands on his back.

“Oi Zoro! Look out-”

Then he heard the snapping of jaws.

Zoro looked up.

Luffy was in the Red Dragon’s mouth.

Huh?

“Luffy-ya!” Zoro heard Law shout, his breaths seemed pained.

Zoro felt his own muscles seize up. He couldn’t be frozen in fear, he thought as his hands trembled around his swords, he couldn’t!

Luffy was in the Red Dragon’s mouth, damnit!

Do something, anything!

We can’t fail!

Zoro stood up and got into a stance to kill. He could feel the burn and the pain in his legs. His metal armour thoroughly warmed by the surrounding fire.

“Get everyone out of here, Traffy!”

Then, there was a flash of light.

And the dragon was nowhere in sight.

A wave of rage flooded through Zoro as he recalled what happened. He got up, legs still a bit weak from the pain and stomped towards where a certain Trafalgar Law was.

That idiot elf had teleported everyone back to the surface, yet where the hell was Luffy?!

“Oi, Trafalgar…” Zoro seethed as he made his way to the tattooed magic user, who was clutching his staff and breathing heavily.

“Ahh, captain! ” Bepo, their bear beast-man fighter, cried and shook Law hard by the shoulders. “It’s Roronoa-”

Zoro picked up Law by his tunic and shoulder cowl. The elf was tall but he weighed nothing to Zoro’s half-ogre strength.

“Put him down, you idiot!” Shachi shouted, drawing his axe.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Penguin screeched.

Zoro stared down at Law, his canines bared, and bellowed.

“Where the hell is Luffy?! Why didn’t you teleport him out?!”

“ Roronoa-ya- ” Law had wheezed out but Zoro paid no attention as he cursed at Law.

“I thought you were an expert at this! You-”

“Won’t you just listen?! ” Law screamed, tattooed hands clawing at Zoro’s actually clawed hands.

For a brief moment, there was silence. Then, reluctantly, Zoro dropped Law to the ground. He watched as the elf stood up, wobbly, with his black and wooden magical staff.

Zoro raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

“Ugh…” Law groaned and then coughed. “Spell couldn’t work on him.”

“What?!” Usopp’s shrill voice pierced through. The five of them turned their heads to see him, Nami, Robin and Chopper standing. Well, Chopper was being carried on a walking plant bed.

Law smoothed down his clothes. His breathing was still heavy, but his eyes were soft. “He got eaten, the spell couldn’t reach. Straw Hat-ya yelled at me to teleport you guys out.”

Zoro noticed Nami staring at Law with the most incredulous of expressions.

“That’s what happened.”

“That idiot…so you just listened to him?!” She screeched. “I thought you were the smart one in this alliance!”

Law clung onto his staff harder and bit his lip. He bit on it so hard that blood bursted out. “You think I listened to him?! I know how much that Vollidot cares about you guys so I teleported you all on my own volition! I listen to no one!”

Then he stomped at the ground and dug his nails into his staff, his hands trembling still.

“Great! We’ve left Luffy to be eaten!” Usopp threw his arms into the air.

Law seethed again. “I never said that, Long Nose-ya!”

“Can’t you all shut up! ” At the voice of Penguin, everyone turned their heads to look at him. He was kneeling by Chopper and using a basic healing spell. Robin rapidly flipped through her grimoire.

Robin breathed in heavily as she stood up. “I trust you all, but I’m announcing my leave here.”

“Robin…” Nami said, her hands holding onto her spiked club.

Zoro gritted his teeth. “So you’re just-”

“I will return to the party at a later date, Zoro,” Robin sighed. “...But Chopper is seriously injured.” Her voice shook as she closed her grimoire. “I’m going to have to take him back into town.”

Zoro stared at Chopper on the makeshift bed Robin made using plant magic. His tiny body was covered in wounds and breath weak from low mana.

“Nico-ya, I can just-” Law had started, his hand held out and ready to heal Chopper. But Robin cut him off.

“No, conserve your strength,” Robin said as she commanded the plant bed to move. “You’ll need it.”

It was a cryptic answer from Robin as always, with an equally cryptic smile, but they bid her and Chopper goodbye. Not long after, after they all reached some semblance of calm, Zoro placed his hand back on his swords and turned to speak to everyone else.

“I’m going back in,” Zoro announced to others.

“Excuse me?” Usopp stared at him, posing oddly.

“Luffy got eaten, ergo, he’s still in the dungeon.” Zoro scratched at his head. “So I’m going to go rescue him.

As he turned, he felt Nami yank at his arm.

“Now hang on a minute, Zoro,” she said, giving him a side-eye.

Zoro tilted his head. “What, witch?”

“Traffy’s spell there teleported all of us out.” Nami sighed and pointed at Law. “But, none of our inventory is here.”

Zoro furrowed his eyebrows. “So?”

Nami gripped at his arm harder. “ So? We’re fucking broke, dumbass!” Then she released his arm and poked sharply at his belly. “No money, no food, no nothing! How the hell are we saving Luffy like this?!”

Zoro thought for a moment. He usually operated with little plan, trusting his instincts much like how Luffy did, but no supplies was really a big issue.

“I could sell my armour…” He mused. Usopp’s expression twisted into a grimace.

“That’s so reckless!”

Zoro felt a vein in his forehead pop and he snapped at Usopp. “You got a better plan? It’s quick cash and we don’t have time to waste! Luffy could be digested while we’re all loitering to get ready!”

Usopp and Nami glanced at each other, then at their own hands. There was an uncomfortable silence.

“Zoro-ya’s right.”

Zoro was surprised to hear Law standing on his side, considering how pragmatic the man was. 

“Captain-” Bepo reached a hand out to Law but was brushed aside.

Law rubbed at his temples and breathed. “Large beasts like dragons don’t move a lot after eating so digestion should be slowed. If we leave now, we should be able to resurrect Straw Hat-ya before he is fully digested. So, Zoro-ya’s right.”

Zoro nodded, despite their early altercation, he was happy that Law was supporting him. His logical reasoning was a lot more convincing than Zoro’s regular bluntness.

“Therefore, I will be disbanding my party.”

Nevermind that logical reasoning he was praising Law for because what the fuck did he just hear him say?

“Captain!” Bepo, Penguin and Shachi shouted.

“Dude, what? ” Nami stared at Law, horrified.

“I won’t have any of them be eaten.” Law crossed his arms and huffed. Then Zoro saw him turn towards where he was. “And I’ll be joining you, Nami-ya and Nose-ya. You’ll need a strong magic user after Nico-ya and Tony-ya left.”

Zoro glanced at the three members of Law’s party. Understandably, they seemed very slighted by what just happened.

“Oi Law, you can’t just do this!” Shachi stomped.

“Yeah! We’ve been with you since the start!” Penguin punched at the air.

“I agree with both of them!” Bepo pointed a thumbs down. “Boo!”

Law clutched his staff. “My decision is final!” He yelled and instantly, the three of his party members were quiet. “...Find another employer in the mean-time. Don’t burden yourselves with this. I couldn’t get Luffy-ya out in time, so I’m going back in to help rescue him.”

Zoro stared at him alongside everyone else.

“Our alliance is not over yet, I can’t have him dead.” Law stared at the six of them. There was an unusual softness in his gold eyes, Zoro noticed, and a subtle blush on his cheeks.

“...Okay, Captain,” Bepo whispered, twiddling his furry thumbs. Then he rushed to pull Law into a hug. Zoro couldn’t help but snort at the sight of the scary elf mage being squeezed by a fluffy polar bear beast-man. Penguin and Shachi joined the hug, though their shorter statures as a gnome and a dwarf meant they were hugging at the other two’s legs.

“Stay safe, okay!” Bepo sniffled.

“You’re suffocating me-” Law wriggled and coughed. “And you two, get off our legs!”

“Sorry.” Bepo promptly released Law from his furry hands. Zoro could definitely admit then, the scary Healer of Death had a soft side.

After a few more tearful goodbyes from Law’s now former party members, the remaining four stood together.

“So…” Usopp crossed his arms and looked at the rest. “What now?”

Zoro put his hand under his chin. There was a pregnant pause amongst them.

“You and Nami can leave if you want,” He finally said to Usopp.

“Huh?!”

Law merely huffed.

Zoro looked at the shocked faces of Nami and Usopp. “Not going to drag you guys into this just so you’ll get eaten like Luffy-”

He promptly felt Nami kick him hard in the shin. Though short compared to his height as a half-ogre and half Tall-man, Nami was really strong. Zoro winced in pain and yelped.

“‘Scuse you, Zoro! Luffy’s our leader, ‘course we’re coming with you to save him!” Nami huffed then grabbed Usopp. “You agree, right, Usopp?”

Usopp’s legs were visibly shaking but his face was full of determination. “Yeah that’s right! I’m saving my best friend! We’ll do anything!”

Zoro grinned. He really could always trust them.

“Also you can’t find your bloody way around a dungeon even if your life begged you to and I’m not about to let Traffy suffer with that,” Nami said, pointing a finger at Zoro.

Law nodded. “Thank you, Nami-ya.” Zoro shot him a look of betrayal.

And so with a new party established (or salvaged), the five of them began to make their way to the dungeon. On the way, they began to take notice of their hunger as sharp rumbles quickly crossed all of their ears.

“But we really should eat first, huh?” Usopp sighed and rubbed at his belly. “There’s cheap meals at the public dining hall…Ooh or we could go to Laughing Wolf Tavern, they’ve got huge portions!”

Nami pointed at another restaurant after looking around the streets. “That one’s got a great menu too! Their meat dumpling soup is to die for!”

Zoro took note of how she and Usopp drooled as they thought about what to eat. Then he thought about what Luffy had said about monsters. Zoro glanced at Law, who seemed to have understood what Zoro was thinking.

“We’re going to the dungeon now,” Law announced flatly. Zoro nodded.

“What? But you need to eat,” Nami said, looking at both Law and Zoro. “We quite literally almost died because we were too hungry.”

“Can’t waste time looking for a restaurant,” Zoro yawned. “Come on.”

Stomachs still empty, the party soon arrived at the dungeon entrance. Its darkness was foreboding yet exciting.

“We’ll be getting all our food from the dungeon.” Zoro pointed at the dingy entrance. Law nodded firmly, his arms crossed.

“What?!” Nami and Usopp shouted in unison.

“Dungeons are full of monsters, so therefore it must have an ecosystem,” Law began, his face deadly serious. “Carnivorous monsters eat the herbivorous and the herbivorous eat the plants. The plants need water, light and dirt to grow.”

“Therefore!” Law slammed his staff. “We humanoids must be able to sustain ourselves within the dungeon too!”

Zoro nodded along. “What he said.”

“ HUH?!?! ”

The utter shock persisted as they began to descend into the dungeon. Usopp and Nami stared at the other two, questioning what sort of logic ran their brains. Zoro was not surprising, but for Law to be such a…

“We’re really eating monsters?” Usopp groaned as he fiddled with his leather belt.

“Every meal,” Zoro answered, his armour clanging as he walked down the steps.

“Even with our one trip together as an alliance, some of those monsters must have looked tasty to you both,” Law said, his tone flat as always.

All the monsters they had ever seen crossed Usopp and Nami’s minds after they heard Law and not one looked like they could be eaten or even be… tasty .

“No they weren’t!” Nami grabbed at Law’s tunic. “Are you insane?!”

Law stared at her, unsmiling with a singular raised eyebrow.

“Zoro! You can’t possibly be agreeing with Traffy’s crazy plan?” Usopp begged.

Zoro glanced away from him. “I mean Luffy also wanted to eat monsters, and his reasons really did seem sound.”

Usopp groaned.

“Also he told me that lots of people here hunt monsters for food, so quit being wimps,” Zoro sighed and continued walking down.

“That’s because they’re criminals who were banished down here??” Nami pulled at her hair. “And they’re always sick from food poisoning, blowing chunks from both ends! ”

“...That is also fascinating,” Law said. Nami could not believe what she was hearing.

Great, he’s also weird about medicine and health conditions.

“What else can we do then? Like you said, we’re broke.” Law then leaned down until he was almost eye level with both her and Usopp. “And you did also say that you’ll do anything to save Luffy-ya?”

Nami frowned, “...That was Usopp, don’t pin that one on me.”

“Hey!” Usopp had protested but Nami jabbed him in the ribs.

“Anyway, didn’t say I’d eat monsters, Usopp too,” Nami huffed. She was Nami of Cocoyashi, trained by dwarf warrior Bell-Mere, elf mage Trafalgar Law did not scare her.

Law merely raised an eyebrow at her. Zoro seemed to be trying to not laugh. Nami was going to punch them both in the head, their heights be damned.

“Plus! We could all die from poisoning if we ate monsters!” Usopp crossed his arms and stood on his tiptoes, trying whatever he could to seem intimidating.

Law sighed and rubbed at his temples. “I can just heal-”

A loud scream cut him off. Everyone turned to see a group of adventurers running in their direction, their faces horrified.

“RUN!!!” The leading man screamed as he ran from whatever was chasing him and his party.

Which…was a Walking Mushroom.

With a single bonk, Nami killed the mushroom with her club.

The four of them collectively stared at the mushroom, wondering what was so menacing about it.

“They gotta stop letting rookies in,” Nami grimaced. “I swear if they’re that scared of a Walking Mushroom then- Huh?”

Law picked up the dead fungus.

“Oi! Oi, Traffy…Traffy!” Usopp bit at his nails.

Zoro stared at the Walking Mushroom in Law’s hands. “Guess that’s our lunch.”

Law nodded.

Usopp and Nami stared at them.

“THAT’S GROSS!!” Usopp lamented at the top of his lungs, then he began to writhe on the floor, even doing a headstand. “Ew nope, nope, nope, NOPE! Not happening, NOT eating that!”

Nami looked at Usopp, then at Law and Zoro. She sighed, “Is that even safe to eat?”

Zoro dug around his rucksack and pulled out a slightly dilapidated book. “I mean according to Luffy’s Monster Gourmet Guide, it is.” Luffy had given Zoro the only book he actually read for safekeeping, since it kept falling from his rucksack during fights.

“Luffy reads books?” Usopp stared in disbelief.

“He only paid attention to this one,” Zoro shrugged, then he went back to the book. “Says here the mushroom is a basic ingredient and has a mild and meaty flavour.”

Nami inspected the book, its spine was flaking and creased and its pages had been dog-earred into oblivion, there were also tags everywhere. 

“He read this a lot, huh?” Nami tilted her head. Her eyes widened a little when Zoro took the book from her and put it back in his rucksack.

“Let’s go somewhere open and cook this thing then,” He sighed.

“Just mushroom is plain.” Law leaned his head back and closed his eyes, breathing in the damp dungeon air. “We need more ingredients.” Then, his rounded and long ears perked up. There was a distinctive scuttling nose nearby.

“Oi, Zoro-ya, there’s a scorpion.” Law smirked.

“Heard ya, Traffy,” Zoro grinned and ran off with one sword drawn.

“Lost my appetite.” Usopp frowned. “Oi, Zoro! You’ll get lost!”

And so, the remaining three followed Zoro to the Adventurer’s Hall, located on the first floor of the dungeon. It was once where the catacombs of the nearby village were and connected to the dungeon proper 6 years ago, now it was filled with merchants and adventurers. A bustling stop for all who came to raid the dungeon.

The place was bright as always but Zoro paid no attention. Sure he got lost a lot but he didn’t this time, he did actually follow the sound of the scorpion scuttling.

But nevermind his sense of direction, he thought as he kneeled down near where the scorpion’s hole was. How was he going about hunting this thing?

Zoro thought for a moment, then the idea came to him. Growing up in the island village of Shimotsuki, in the Eastern Archipelago, he hunted crayfish with the kids at the dojo. Scorpions had pincers and so did crayfish. The principle must be the same.

And so it was. He wrapped his sword in cloth and pushed into where the scorpion was. Very quickly, he felt something grab on. Grinning, Zoro pulled the scorpion out and smashed its head.

Nearby, a blond-haired elf watched what happened and gasped in horror. He followed Zoro as he went to rejoin the others.

As Law waited for Zoro with the other two, he found his mind wandering a little. Monsters were sometimes rumoured to be surface creatures changed by dark magic, other times they were rumoured to be from the depths of Hell. Either way, they attacked without hesitation. Could they be protecting something?

His thoughts were interrupted by the voices of Nami and Usopp chastising Zoro, who had returned with a freshly caught scorpion. Though, its head was completely smashed in.

“So you caught it like crayfish?” Nami stared at the scorpion.

“Did you really have to smash its head?” Usopp frowned in disgust.

“Rock was the closest thing, too hard to get out my knife.” Zoro shrugged.

Law sighed. “Alright, how about we get cooking? Or does your party always waste so much time having meaningless conversations?”

“Oi.” Zoro grimaced at Law then teased, “I’m only doing this for practical reasons, but you seem a little too into eating monsters. Some kind of weird fantasy of yours?”

Law felt his face flush at Zoro’s words and cursed at his mind for thinking about how Luffy also had the same monster eating ideas as him. This was not the time to reminisce.

“...Saving Luffy-ya is the only thing on my mind,” Law managed to choke out those words without dying. He hated how red he probably looked as he took note of Zoro’s smirk.

“Sure it is, mate,” Usopp muttered, then he turned to Nami and whispered, “Freak?”

Nami nodded. “Freak.”

Law clutched his staff tightly. “Can’t believe I joined your party.” Then as Zoro began to take out their cookware, Law joined them for preparation.

Usopp was fine with gathering water, at least they weren’t at the step of actually eating the monsters yet. But he was getting seriously embarrassed by all the stares their party was getting for scooping the water from the fountain.

“We seriously have to cook here?” He questioned, placing the water filled saucepan onto the makeshift stove Nami and Zoro made. 

Nami sighed, “We’re broke, there’s water right next to us.” Then she pulled at her hair. “Ugh all our money!!”

Usopp patted Nami on the shoulder, then he sat down and looked at Zoro and Law. “So, how are you guys planning on cooking this?”

The two men stared at their ingredients: a walking mushroom and a dungeon scorpion.

“Boil,” Zoro said with full chested conviction, then he took a knife and set the mushroom to cut.

“I’ll go prep the fire,” Law sighed. “Nami-ya, Nose-ya, mind getting firewood with me?”

Nami and Usopp shrugged and after a few minutes, they gathered the firewood they needed. Law, using his magic, set them alight. As the three of them worked to control the fire, they heard a rather loud grunt from Zoro.

“What’s going on?” Nami looked over.

“Cutting the mushroom sideways is harder than cutting vertically.” Zoro stared at his own knife. “Guess when you’re dealing with Walking Mushrooms, slash straight up and down instead of diagonally and sideways then.” Nami was amazed by how Zoro’s normally angry eyes became filled with childlike wonder when he’s in his element, in this case, fighting.

Nami picked up one of the mushroom slices Zoro had managed to cut. “Huh! It does look more like food now.”

Usopp stared at Nami as he held firewood. “No it doesn’t,” He said in disgust.

After chopping the mushroom into large diced cubes, Zoro dropped them into the boiling water and readied to put the scorpion in.

“Woah, hang on…you’re putting the entire thing in?” Nami frowned.

“Aren’t scorpions poisonous??” Usopp gulped.

Zoro hesitated briefly but then Law took the scorpion from his hands.

“The venom is quite mild, it won’t hurt us if we eat it,” He sighed as he dunked the entire thing into the pot. “Luffy-ya’s book says it’s safe to eat.” He pointed to the laid out book, much like how a chef referred to a recipe book.

“You sure?” Usopp frowned. “That book does not look trustworthy.”

Zoro grumbled and set the ladle down. “Here, I’ll prove it to you.” Then he tore off the tail with his bare hands and bit into it. At that exact moment, Zoro felt his bowels contract in protest and pain. Quickly, he kneeled on the ground and retched.

“Karma.” Nami tutted as she ran her hand across Zoro’s back.

“Ugh…” Zoro groaned and wiped his mouth. He grunted in anger. “I’m slicing that sucker up.”

Since no one wanted to deal with a pissed off Zoro, they watched as he readied both the knife and the scorpion to be sliced into sashimi. Or more accurately, Zoro’s victims as Nami and Usopp became acutely aware of what was going to happen to the poor scorpion.

It would not look like a scorpion after Zoro’s lovely bladework.

“Hands off that scorpion, Mosshead!”

The four of them turned their heads to see a beautiful, blond haired elf running in their direction. His hair which covered half his face was long and braided and he had a horned helmet. He wore armour atop a fur-lined dark blue tunic and some black trousers. Most distinctively, half of his left ear was missing and he had curly eyebrows.

“What the-”

The elf snatched the knife and the scorpion from Zoro’s hands and placed himself where Zoro was sitting, disregarding his personal space.

“Can’t believe this! If I weren’t mistaken, you were about to destroy this beautiful scorpion!” He yelled at Zoro. “You know what? You already did! Why is its head smashed in?”

Zoro stared at the elf, momentarily distracted by how blue his eyes were. “I- It was the quickest way!”

Law slapped himself in the face and muttered, “Roronoa-ya”, under his breath.

The blond elf stared at Zoro as if he had another set of horns. “You couldn’t have just stabbed its head?” He shivered then set his eyes back on the scorpion before him. Zoro glanced at Law, Nami and Usopp. A random elf had just appeared and was now taking over their cooking. Zoro looked at them for some kind of guidance, to which Law responded by motioning him to shut up. Zoro felt insulted.

“Honestly…” The blond elf muttered. “Anyway!” He smiled. “You four are making scorpion and mushroom hot pot, correct?”

“Yes…?” Nami hesitantly replied. The blond elf immediately lit up at the sight of her.

“Amazing choice, Miss! I will serve you the best dungeon hot pot you’ve ever tasted!” He was almost squealing in delight but coughed to regain composure. “...Better than what Mosshead here would've cooked.” He glanced at Zoro with a frown.

“ Temee- ” Zoro readied himself to curse at the elf in his native language. He couldn’t believe what was happening.

“To prepare the scorpion, cut off its pincers, head, legs and tail,” The elf began, doing exactly as he said. Zoro stopped to look at the elf’s knifework. It was immaculate, he cut with confidence, something Zoro admired.

“I overheard what you folks were saying about the tail. It is edible, but…it’ll give you the runs. Best to throw it out.”

Zoro and Law frowned. Guess Luffy’s guide missed some trivia.

“Next, you slice the sucker up by the segments so it heats evenly and the juices seep out.” The elf grinned. “You’ll get all the flavour this way and it’s easier to eat.”

The four of them stared at the now evenly cut up scorpion. Huh.

“Next, you pull out the innards, like so.” The elf put his hand through each segment and dragged out black, stringy innards. “It’s bitter and the texture’s all wrong, not suitable for eating.”

Then, the elf grabbed what’s left of their mushroom. “For the Walking Mushroom, skin it and lose the butt, but save the feet and throw ‘em in the pot.”

“The feet?” Law questioned. Whatever this elf was doing was fascinating, it was like he’s been cooking monsters for years.

“They’re delicious and have a unique fragrance,” he smiled. “Have a smell- Oh, an elf…Whatever, you’re hungry, so I’ll feed you.”

Law stared at him. He spoke with such disdain about elves yet he was one himself… However, he was cooking for them and seemed to pose no threat. Law sniffed the mushrooms offered to him by the cooking elf.

“Smells good?”

“Fascinating…” Law muttered.

Nami and Usopp merely stared at Law. Foot fetish?

The blond elf hummed and gathered all the cut ingredients. He frowned when he saw the pot the four had been using. “Too small…we’ll just use mine.” To everyone’s surprise, he pulled from behind him a giant, black wok style pot.

“You are oddly prepared…” Usopp observed.

The blond elf set his pot down on the stove and transferred all the ingredients in. Then he stared at it. “Little bland with just scorpion and mushroom…Oh!” As if stars struck him, the elf stood up and rushed to cut some of the vines growing on the cobble walls. He then scraped some algae and promptly returned to where the stove was.

“Add this,” He announced bluntly. Usopp stared at what he brought and wondered if this elf was joking.

“Okay now hold on a sec! You can’t put those in!” He shouted.

“Why not?” The elf tilted his head.

“I am not eating that!” Usopp crossed his arms across his chest as if it were an X. He then pointed behind him at the gravestones and coffins. “You see those! Those are corpses! I’ll eat a monster if I must but not plants from a graveyard!”

Usopp then rushed to grab the remaining slice of mushroom and stared up at the elf, shoving the mushroom at him. “Tell them this tastes fine on its own! Also, who the hell are you anyway?!”

“Oi Usopp, up!”

“ Up what?! ” Usopp turned to stare at Zoro. Then, he felt something gooey and cold drip onto his head. Very quickly, a green blob covered his face and Usopp felt like he was drowning.

A slime.

“Usopp!”

“Nose-ya!”

Usopp clawed at it desperately. He couldn’t breathe. Sharp pains stabbed at his chest.

“I’m going to blast the slime.” That was Traffy’s voice. Wait, don’t blast at my head!

“Don’t blast him!” Nami, you’re an angel. But I’m going to die here.

Not the first time though…Huh?

Through the green goo of the slime, Usopp saw a figure come towards him. It was the blond elf and with one stab of his knife, the slime fell off his face.

Usopp gasped for air and coughed.

“You okay?” Nami asked as she helped him up.

Usopp sniffled, “I think some went up my nose…” Then he sneezed. Sighing, Nami handed him a handkerchief.

Nearby, Law, Zoro and the blond elf stared at the remains of the slime. Law knelt down to prod at it with his fingers.

“So you can kill these with knives, huh?” Zoro said, amused.

“If you know where you’re stabbing, then yes,” The blond elf said as he scooped the slime from the floor and placed it into a different pot.

“Slime anatomy always fascinated me, but it is complicated when all you can see is a blob,” Law sighed. “In theory, it’s like if you turned a stomach inside-out and surrounded the head and organs with digestive fluid.”

“Mmhm,” hummed the blond elf. “They sense your breath and attack when you exhale. So if you throw a fit like the kid here,” he said, pointing to Usopp, “you’ll get slimed.”

Usopp stared at the elf, offended by the fact he got called a kid. 

The blond elf ignored Usopp and sat down with the pot of slime. “Can’t eat these raw, so add hot water and a splash of citrus juice.” After adding those ingredients, the elf rubbed them in with hands. “Then, you can pat it dry or rub salt in it and sun-dry. After all that, you have one high quality ingredient. Starve it for two weeks if you can though, then dry it. It’ll taste so much better.”

The elf then pulled out another piece of equipment. “This is a portable slime dryer I made. Put the slime there and it’ll dry naturally as you walk around.” He put the slime he had just prepared into the dryer and set it aside. “It’ll be a bit until that one’s done…but, I do have a fully prepared one.” From somewhere in his bags, the elf pulled out a leaf bundle and unwrapped it to reveal a piece of neatly folded slime. It was white in colour with a gelatin sheen.

“We’ll add it to your pot!” The elf grinned as he began to chop the slime. “You don’t know how happy I am to find folks who love monster cuisine as much as I do!”

The four party members looked at each other, then Usopp and Nami looked at Law and Zoro.

Pretty sure it’s only Law who’s really into it.

“I’ve been studying the monsters in here and how to cook them for over 10 years now, you know?” The elf continued, still in his cooking bliss.

“10 years?” Nami repeated.

“Have the dungeon been around that long?” Usopp whispered, to which Nami shrugged.

Zoro noticed that the elf tensed when Usopp asked that question. It was unusual, but it was also rude to pry into someone’s business.

“Anyway,” The blond elf smiled, “everything will be ready in a bit. I’m sure you’re all starving.”

Then, like a dedicated blacksmith, the elf set off to work. Zoro watched as he chopped the ingredients efficiently as if practising swordsmanship, checking the fire as if forging and finally tasting the broth itself.

He knows his stuff, huh?

After around 10-15 minutes of boiling, the elf announced the hot pot ready and opened the pot lid. Steam rushed out and the smell of freshly cooked ingredients breezed everyone’s noses. Proudly, he named the dish “Giant Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot”.

It was lunch time.

The elf served everyone present with a bowl of hot pot in the wooden cutlery they brought with them. Zoro, Law and Nami readied themselves to eat, but Usopp stared at what he was served.

“So scorpions turn red when boiled?” Zoro observed and poked at the scorpion slice with his chopsticks. “They really are like crayfish.”

“Looks way better than the one in Luffy’s guide,” Nami muttered, then she sniffed. “Okay it should not smell as good as it does.”

The blond elf giggled at that compliment. “You are most welcome, Miss! I’m so glad my cooking is up to your standards.”

Nami looked at him. He likes it when women compliment him, huh? I could use this…

“Cook it long enough and it shrinks, so you can pull the meat out easy,” the elf grinned and gestured.

Law plucked a piece of meat and promptly ate it. His eyes widened. It was fresh, flavourful and- “It’s really good.”

“Oh thank you- Why do you have to compliment me and not the beautiful dwarf lady?” The blond elf frowned. “Ugh, I hate elves.”

Law gripped at his chopsticks. “Oi Cook-ya, but in case you haven’t noticed, you’re an elf!”

“So?” The blond elf scoffed. “Whatever, glad it tastes good.”

“Preparation totally changes the flavour, huh,” Zoro commented. “Guess I underestimated you, Curly.”

“What- Underestimated- ” The blond elf seethed at Zoro but soon turned his attention to Usopp, who was not touching his bowl. “Hey, shitty kid, you better eat that bowl, I’m not about to have someone go hungry.”

Usopp grimaced and inched away from his bowl. “I am not eating monster. Nada!”

“Come on, Usopp~~” Nami said in a sing-song voice and grinned. “Didn’t you say you craved lobster earlier?”

“Yeah, and this does taste really good, ” Zoro added, equally grinning.

Law hummed and nodded, still very focused on savouring the dish.

Usopp looked at his fellow party members, then felt his own hunger slowly creep in…

“Fine! I’ll try it!”

He grabbed his bowl and chopsticks and dug in. The first thing he grabbed was something stringy. They were purplish in colour.

“What are these?” Usopp grimaced as he asked the blond elf.

“Slime innards,” he smiled.

Usopp groaned, but his hunger overwhelmed him and he quickly gulped down his bite. Flavour exploded on his taste buds.

“ ....So good! ”

And so, for the rest of the meal, each party member enjoyed it in their own ways and each became intrigued by what exactly did the blond elf use to cook this hot pot. As Nami learned, the vines were actually stems of an upside down plant and as Usopp learned…the algae was just plain algae, which did ruin his appetite a little. But regardless, it was some meal indeed.

“Now that we’re all properly fed,” The blond elf began, “how about introductions?”

Zoro snorted and teased, “Rich for you to say, you just barged in and made food for us. Some introduction, Curls.”

“Shitty Mosshead…” The blond elf’s face turned red and his ears flushed. “I’ll have you know my name is Sanji, it means ‘third son’ in Elvish.”

Zoro laughed and promptly began, “Zoro. The lady you keep flirting with is Nami, our navigator.”

Nami waved and Sanji promptly grinned in a silly manner.

“The grumpy elf with tattoos is Traffy, our mage.”

“The name is actually Trafalgar Law - ”

“Anyway. And finally there’s Usopp, our picklock. He’s a Half-Foot, not a kid.”

“Damn right!” Usopp huffed.

Zoro watched as Sanji glanced at the four of them with his non-covered eye. “So you four are on some mission then?” he said as he packed up the cookware.

There was a pause as everyone looked at each other uncomfortably.

“...Our party leader got eaten by the Red Dragon on the lower levels,” Zoro explained, holding his swords. “Gotta save him before he gets digested.”

Sanji gasped and his eyebrow drooped. “I’m…I’m so sorry, that’s awful.” He stared at his hands for a second. “The Red Dragon…”

“...What about it, Curls?” Zoro furrowed his brows.

“If it gives you any peace of mind…large monsters sleep a lot to conserve energy, so their-”

“Digestion will be on the slower side,” Law looked down as he finished the sentence. “I hope that hypothesis is correct or else…”

Sanji scoffed, “Don’t be pessimistic, Shitty Mage.”

“Excuse me?” Law raised an eyebrow. “Shitty Mage?”

“You heard me! If you’re all that suicidal to go down to the dungeon with no prep at all, then you all must be filled with some crazy faith! So, you will save that leader of yours because I’ll be damned if you don’t,” Sanji huffed and packed up the last of the cookware. “And I’ll be joining your party, so of course you’ll be fine!”

Everyone froze in their tracks. Sanji? Joining?

“You’re joining us?” Law questioned.

“Yep, because Mosshead here can’t cook for shit,” Sanji grinned.

“Oi!” Zoro protested.

This elf was suspicious, Law thought, a pure-blooded elf in a dungeon with vast amounts of monster knowledge… As much as he wanted to agonise over the oddness of Sanji and what that would mean, they were in no position to do so. Luffy was in danger and frankly, Law was not going to let that Tall-Man die.

He was too much of a wild-card.

“Your experiences will be useful, Sanji-ya, thank you.” To his own surprise, Law bowed his head as he said this. I could be sick.

The tip of Sanji’s remaining, non-mutilated ear turned red and he blushed. “I guess I’m honoured by that.”

Then he turned to walk deeper into the dungeon. “Red Dragon…Red Dragon…Oh I have had so many ideas for recipes! We could make steak and burgers, classic option. Ooh! Maybe shabu-shabu? Or Oyakodon, if we have enough eggs…”

The four party members stared at Sanji as he walked deeper into the dungeon, musing about his plans to cook the Red Dragon. There, they all wondered.

Was it really right to eat what ate one of them?

No one said anything as they followed the enthusiastic cook down into the depths. It is as they say: Dungeon food is to eat or be eaten. There is no hierarchy to any of it, only that eating is the privilege of the living.

Dungeon Food, ah…Dungeon Food.

Chapter Text

Squelch…squelch…

Luffy felt as if drifting like a leaf. His body felt…heavy and his eyes stung. When he opened his eyes, all he could see was pitch black.

Where was he?

Not willing to think, he took it upon himself to walk around. It was an empty void, and yet he could walk as if there was ground.

I hope everyone’s okay, he thought as he wandered. Wait…where is everyone?

Remarkably, the answer did come to Luffy and he blinked.

Right. The dragon ate me.

Though remorseful for a moment, Luffy quickly reassured himself. He trusted everyone in his party and everyone in Traffy’s party. They were strong. He’d be rescued in no time.

I wonder how they’re doing?

“Thinking about your friends, are you?”

A voice cut through the darkness. It was smooth.

“Who-”

“You are slow,” The voice laughed. “Come hither.”

As if the space itself was under its command, Luffy felt himself being pulled towards the voice. He had opened his mouth to protest but no sound could come out of his mouth. As he went, he could see a white dot get bigger and bigger until eventually…

There was a giant, white and winged lion before him. It was a magnificent creature with a cloud-like mane and glowing red eyes. And like a child with a new toy, it grabbed Luffy’s arm and held him up with one of its front paws.

“My, my…You’re the one closest to killing Joy-boy?” The lion asked, its red eyes glinting. Then it chuckled, “Didn’t actually think you’d sacrifice yourself like that.”

Luffy wriggled in the lion’s grasp and gritted his teeth. “Put me down! Who the heck are you anyway?!”

The lion laughed, its white teeth shone like moonlight. “You are the most promising of them all! I really like you.”

“Oi Lion! I said, put me down!” Luffy shouted, snapping his teeth.

The lion tilted its head and rolled its eyes. “Fiiiine.” Then, unceremoniously, Luffy was dropped to the ground.

“You really do care about your companions…don’t you?” The lion said, leaning into its paw.

“Of course I do! You didn’t do anything to them, did you?”

The lion blinked and gasped. “How rude! You are the most entertaining bunch! How you love and care, how you freely do so, how you love without care even!”

Luffy didn’t understand a word the lion said, but something about it seemed…off.

The lion looked down at Luffy, its mane filling the empty space like sunrays do at sunrise and sunset.

“Your journey is yet to be done, but you must be weary.”

Luffy felt the space around them warp.

“So sleep for now, dear adventurer…for we’ll meet again…soon.”

Close your eyes.

A wave of drowsiness overwhelmed Luffy and he felt himself fall…and fall…and…

To the sounds of squelching flesh, he drifted into sleep.

We’ll meet again.

(Meanwhile, the Dungeon…)

After that delicious hot pot lunch, the Luffy Rescue Party (as coined by Usopp) journeyed onwards to the second floor with their newest member, Sanji the cooking elf.

It was none of their first time on the second floor, yet the sight of it fascinated each of them every time. For even without surface sunlight, a forest grew on the second floor. As the party walked on the wooden bridges between the trees, they listened to the tweeting birds and took in the majesty of the tall vistas among the woods. The tallest of which was said to be the highest tower of the Great Castle.

While it was lovely and a nice change from the musty catacombs of the first floor, the main route was difficult to walk; Usopp attested to this when a branch smacked him in the face. Nami had her head looking at her compass.

Usopp craned his neck to look at the trees. His eyes wide at the sight of dappled sunlight and trees that stretched upwards beyond his field of vision.

“I’ve always wondered…” Usopp said then pointed up. “How come the trees don’t poke out to the surface?”

“It’s probably the curse on this place,” Zoro yawned. “Man, I need a n-”

Then there was some swearing and a thud. Zoro and Usopp turned around to see Law on the ground, rubbing at his left knee.

“Shit,” He cursed and helped himself up with his staff.

“Didn’t peg you as clumsy, doctor,” Zoro let out a chuckle. Law glared at him. He was typically so well put together, yet here he was, on the ground. “You alright though?”

Law grumbled and flipped one of his plaits behind him, “Tripped on a plank.”

Close behind him, Nami huffed and stretched her arms. “We’ve been walking for a while now. So how about we set up camp soon and get some sleep?”

Law immediately stood up. “We can’t waste time,” He said, gripping his staff a bit too tightly as Zoro, Nami and Usopp noticed. “Luffy-ya n-”

“Luffy wouldn’t want you to push yourself like this, Law,” Zoro said, his arms crossed. The use of his actual name instead of the typical nickname surprised Law and his eyes widened.

Law opened his mouth to argue back, but nothing came out. He felt Zoro’s intense gaze on him. He was right of course, Luffy would scold him for skipping sleep, skipping meals…

“Fine.”

And so, following Nami, they set out to find a place to camp.

“Remember when we spent a night in one of the hollowed-out trees?” Nami smiled as she glanced around.

Usopp laughed, “Yeah I do, it’s like I was a kid again.”

“Shachi made pork soup and burnt himself terribly,” Law added, trying his best to suppress his grin, which did fail and he instead laughed softly.

“Soup huh…” Nami felt her stomach grumble.

“I’ve still got the scorpion broth from lunch, Miss Nami!” Sanji beamed as he held up the waterskin containing it. “I can-”

“Nope, not feeling it,” Nami glanced away. Rejected, Sanji sniffled his tears away and put the waterskin back in his pack. Zoro scoffed at this quietly. Sanji shot him a look.

Scratching at his stubby horns, Zoro sighed, “Right, let’s go hunting for a dinner-worthy monster.”

Usopp gagged a little at this. Sure, they had dungeon scorpion for lunch, but he still wasn’t used to eating the things that normally tried to kill them all on sight. He sighed and clutched onto the straps of his backpack.

Zoro looked at his grumbling Half-foot friend. “What do you wanna eat, Usopp?”

“Huh?” Usopp and Nami stared at him as if he grew two heads. “Seriously?”

Law tutted his tongue and looked at the three of them. “We can try and fulfill your requests.”

Both Usopp and Nami felt disbelief when they heard Law say that, partially because he always seemed very uncompromising and scary, but right now, it was mostly because…

“...You still mean eating monsters, right?” Usopp crossed his arms and stared at Zoro and Law, unimpressed. The elf shrugged and Zoro looked away, seemingly in some kind of shame.

“As long as it’s edible…” Nami let out a long sigh. “Fine, hit me.”

She watched as Zoro dug around the inside of his weird neck protection on his breastplate. From it, he produced Luffy’s Monster Guide. Over his shoulder, Law glanced at its pages.

“Big bats…Giant rats?” Zoro read aloud and listed. Both Nami and Usopp recoiled in disgust.

“Absolutely not.” Nami crossed her arms.

“That’s so unhygienic!” Usopp put his hands up.

Law furrowed his brows. “...Forest goblins?”

At that moment, Nami really wanted to punch the elf in the head.

“NO! No demi-humans!”

Zoro raised an eyebrow as he read another page. “Living Armour?”

“...Metal?” Usopp said, fidgeting with his fingers. “Aren’t there anything more…you know…normal?”

Law made a face and wrinkled his nose. He huffed and pulled at one of his twin plaits. “Of course you two are the type to say anything’s fine but nit-pick at every option.” He ran his fingers through the short, shaggier part of his hair. “Typical.”

“What do you know?!” Nami scoffed. “I swear, if I still used magic, I would’ve blasted you with lightning so fast right now.”

It was an off-handed comment but it caught Law’s attention.

“You did magic, Nami-ya?” He tilted his head.

Nami sighed, “Couple years ago. It made me sick, so I stopped. Anyway! I don’t think me and Usopp are being that picky.”

To that, Zoro responded with a blank stare, then he leaned his head back.

“Aren’t there anything like birds or fruits?” Usopp asked, his tone practically begging Law and Zoro.

The taller ones looked at each other then closed their eyes to think.

“I mean yeah, but we’ll need to set traps and wait,” Zoro explained. “And I’m not patient enough for that.”

“Right,” Nami said, brushing her bushy ginger hair with her fingers.

“Ducks don’t just carry leeks with them, Nami-ya,” Law sighed then his golden eyes glinted with focus. “But this is a dungeon, so there could be monster ducks with man-eating leeks.”

Usopp wanted to skin his scalp. “How can you be this optimistic??”

As he and Nami were about to lament over their plight, Sanji snapped his fingers and beamed. “Pay those idiots no mind, there are lots of fruits and plants this time of year!”

“Oi!”

“Who are you calling dumb, Cook-ya!”

Usopp and Nami held each other’s hands. “Really?”

Sanji smiled at them and gave a thumbs up. Usopp and Nami looked at each other.

Finally! We’re saved from the tall ones!

Whatever gratitude they had towards Sanji did not last. As before them, right now, were the most terrifying specimens of plants Nami and Usopp had ever witnessed.

Firstly, they were all huge, and secondly, they all had teeth of some kind. Slime dripped off some of them and many had long, tentacle-like vines.

“I KNEW IT! A man eating plant fruit!” Nami screeched, pointing at the plants as if they wronged her.

Law looked at the plants with fascination. For a moment, he disregarded his surroundings and just accepted the sheer interest he tried hard to suppress over the years. “Actually, ‘man-eating’ is the colloquial term for these,” He began calmly and then pointed at a large white flower. “That flower over there is the ‘Baraselia’. It grows along the animal paths and emits a sticky substance like spider-silk. When an animal touches it, the plant pulls it close on reflex and ensnares the animal. Doesn’t digest them, but it acts as compost for the plant. Pretty amazing.”

“…It doesn’t target people and it doesn’t eat them either,” Law sighed, hoping that last tidbit could reassure his current companions. Sure he thought they were being dramatic, but he was also going to be travelling with them for significant periods of time and they were Luffy’s friends. He felt some kind of responsibility towards them.

Nami, Usopp and Zoro looked at him blankly. Sanji appeared to be in his own world.

Law paused, then added, “If you go back far enough, all vegetables are made of animal faeces and corpses.”

“And I’m not complaining about that!” Nami snapped. To that, Law closed his eyes and sighed.

Zoro leaned down a little to talk to her. “We’re still just two floors down, so if there are dead bodies, people notice them fast. They’ll check the plants first thing.”

(Author interjection for those unfamiliar with Dungeon Meshi: There are corpse retrievers in the world of Dunmeshi and resurrection magic is a thing. More detail on this in later chapters.)

Usopp looked down at his leather shoes. He didn’t know how reassured he was by Zoro’s words.

“It’s different down in the depths, but no one’ll become monster food here,” Zoro grinned, his canines showing.

Nami smiled back at him. Maybe it was alright afterall…to an extent that is.

She turned her attention to Law and Sanji, who were now focusing their efforts on the plants before them. They seemed to be discussing something.

“...One at the root there, and there’s two over there,” Sanji said, pointing. Law nodded along.

“What are you two doing?” Nami asked, her hands on her hips.

Sanji immediately smiled. “Oh, Miss Nami! We’re looking for ripe fruits to make you a delectable dinner!”

“Yellow one’s not ripe then,” Law chimed in. Then, he gripped his staff and swished his other arm back. “Right, I’ll just blast them all at once.”

And so, he began chanting. 

“Sperae Yeptum Rufermus…Alamandras Proju…”

Nami has seen Law use his magic many times when their alliance was whole. The way mana surged around him as he prepared a spell was both terrifying and exhilarating. It was a feeling she did remember for herself, though it was always quickly replaced by the dreadful nausea of mana sickness. It was the reason she dropped magic afterall.

“Nexant Aslam-”

“Don’t do that, Shitty Elf!” Sanji yelled.

Law stopped chanting and snapped back, “What?”

“You planning on blasting all the fruit away too?!”

Nami saw the plant open its mouth (can it be a mouth?) and roar. Its vine-like arms shot out at the three of them. Nami readied her club but felt something grab her leg. Before she knew it, she was right in the grasps of this monster plant.

“AUGHH!” She screamed as she surged through the air. A wave of nausea flooded over her. As a dwarf, she was prone to motion sickness, no thanks to those sensitive inner ears of hers.

“Nami!” Zoro yelled.

Law’s ears perked up and his eyes widened. “Damnit.” He tightened his grip on his staff. “I’m going to blast it!”

Quickly, he began charging up the same spell. The red, heart shaped jewel of his staff started to glow, held by black woody vines growing from the crescent shaped staff top. Wind started to whoosh around him.

“Absolutely not!” Sanji slapped Law’s hand, breaking the chant. “You only take what you’ll eat, idiot!”

“Do you want me to save Nami-ya or not?!”

Nami might be the one to kill Law soon if the plant doesn’t kill her first. Then, terrifyingly, the vines began to squeeze her tighter. A wave of panic shivered through Nami and she screamed.

“JUST GET ME OUT! Law, I swear I will-” Before she could curse Law’s bloodline and back in Dwarvish, Nami felt her back hit something. It was a pitcher plant and from it, she saw the corpse of a previous adventurer. His skin now shrivelled and gaunt.

Truly, Nami felt her soul was going to leave her body. And no dungeon resurrection cleric would be able to bring her back.

“What do you mean it can’t digest things?!” Usopp screeched at the sight of the corpse. “It totally just ate that guy!”

“I mean some can but not all-” Law had begun but Zoro quickly cut him off with a growl.

“Quit yapping! Tell me where to cut!”

Law clicked his tongue. “The root!”

Zoro unsheathed the Wado Ichimonji and charged towards the plant. After throwing a pebble next to him, Law charged up his easiest teleportation spell and held up two fingers.

“Shambles.”

Nami felt herself land on hard wood. The drawbridge wobbled beneath her and she clutched her ears in pain. Simultaneously, there were the thuds of many vines. Through the haze of her nausea, Nami looked up to see Zoro sheathing his sword and Law glancing away from her.

“I’m gonna kill you, Traffy…” Nami gagged, before leaning over and puking. Teleportation magic was the worst.

Law looked at Nami. Admittedly, he did feel guilty. He joined Luffy’s party and yet he couldn’t even focus on helping the Tall-man’s party members. Luffy took care of Bepo, Shachi and Penguin well, yet he hasn’t done the same to Nami, Usopp and Zoro.

“...I’m sorry, Nami-ya,” Law said as he bent down and ran his hand over Nami’s back, trying to make her feel less nauseous. “Feeling any better yet?”

“Didn’t know you could apologise,” Nami grumbled. Then she wiped her mouth and stood up, accepting Law’s hand for stability and smiled. “I can walk now, thanks.”

It could have been a trick of her mind, but Nami swore she saw Law smile back a little.

“Oi, Traffy!” Zoro stomped as he walked towards them. He pointed a finger firmly at Law. “Can’t believe I’m the one telling you this but can you focus? It’s dangerous out here and I’m not about to have people get hurt again.”

Law blinked and looked at the still slightly nauseous Nami. “I- Well the Shadowtail, the plant that got Nami-ya is not actually lethal. It’s parasitic and plants seeds in the skin of its victims. It holds its prey tightly enough to not kill it but not without it escaping. Technically, there was no real danger-”

Zoro and Nami stared at him. It was clear from their faces that they did not appreciate whatever Law was saying.

“Dude.”

Law looked away from the two of them and joined Sanji and Usopp in fruit picking. They were both looking at him with the same disapproval.

“....That was pushing it,” Usopp commented as he picked a red fruit.

Law sighed. He has been told multiple times that he lacked social tact and his face was permanently grumpy. Was it really his issue that his default expression was always a grumble?

Sanji shook his head in disappointment. “Just keep picking, Shitty Mage.”

And so, Law resigned unwillingly to picking fruit as he pondered his place in this party.

After they gathered the fruits they needed, the party found themselves a nice empty tree hollow and began to set up camp. As Zoro gently placed down all the fruits, Sanji took it upon himself to ready a fire for cooking them. Usopp looked at the fruits with fascination, while Law tended to Nami’s nausea, feeding her some self-made medicinal pills to boost her strength. The two of them also made sure to wipe down Nami’s arms and legs to get rid of any seeds that could have been embedded in her by the plant.

“How are you feeling?” Law asked tentatively as he watched Nami drink the anti-nausea potion he made. He had many in his pack as backup, since Shachi was also a dwarf and like Nami, he has bad motion sickness.

Nami drank the potion with gusto and wiped her mouth. “Lot better, thanks.” Then her stomach grumbled. “I’m so starved…”

Smoke began to rise from the fire Sanji was preparing and Usopp hacked. Once the fire was ready, Sanji placed his giant pot on it and poured some water in. Zoro and Usopp gathered near him to watch as well as to help with the process.

“First, we lightly steam,” Sanji said as he placed the red fruits they picked into the pot and closed the lid. After a minute or two, he took the lid off and removed the fruits. Then came Zoro’s favourite part, cutting the fruits.

With precision, Sanji began to remove the stems by cutting around them. “Give them a twist and pull, the seeds’ll come right out.”

Law looked at the seeds with curiosity. Nami looked at them with vengeance.

It was then Sanji noticed how closely Zoro was watching him as he finished preparing the ripe fruits. Amused, Sanji smiled, “You want to cut the unripe fruits for me, Moss?”

Zoro blinked and the tips of his ears turned a little red. “...Sure.”

He took a knife from Sanji and tentatively cutted. The cook grimaced a little at his knifework, before taking Zoro’s hands and showing him how to cut the fruits. Zoro grumbled at him a little, but he did respect Sanji’s work and so followed what the expert did.

After sorting out Zoro, Sanji took out his rolling pin. “Now, you peel the skin off and pound it until it’s nice and soft.” After pounding, he took a frying pan and lined the bottom of it with the now flattened skin. Then he set it aside.

“After lining, give the unripe fruit a good mashing.” Sanji took a saucepan and looked at the cut, unripe fruits. “You’ve cut them well, Moss!” He complimented, then added them into the saucepan. “Guess sword-fighting translates well to cutting fruits.”

Zoro crossed his arms and hummed. “Of course it does.”

Sanji chuckled, then he continued with making dinner. “Add a dash of slime and scorpion broth, then mix until good and thick!”

“Once you reach a smooth consistency, add in the rest of the broth, then add in the rest of the fruit.” Sanji looked at how the filling dripped down his rolling pin and smiled in approval. “Mix it up a little and pour it into the frying pan.”

Now fully ready, Sanji took the frying pan and placed it on top of the fire to cook. Meanwhile, Nami and Usopp wrestled with Law for the seeds of the Shadowtail. Zoro watched and snickered at the sight. Law was so much taller than the two of them.

“Traffy, no!” Nami scolded and reached up. While short, she was far stronger than Law and so held him firmly in place.

“I just want to see if I can grow this on the surface, it’ll be good for research!” Law shouted. “Oi, get off my leg, Nose-ya!”

“That’s a stupid idea!” Usopp huffed, before quickly jumping up and snatching the seeds from Law’s hands. He ran towards the fire and tossed them in. Law immediately stopped fighting Nami and stared at the now being roasted seeds, distraught.

Sanji watched as Usopp destroyed Law’s potential research and continued with cooking. “...And when you see it bubbling like that, add in the rest of the fruits.” Finally, Sanji took some of his spice mix and sprinkled it onto the dish. He smiled, “Perfect.”

Then Sanji lifted the pan and placed it on a tea-towel Zoro found amidst the various cooking utensils.

“It’s ready! I present, Man-Eating Plant Tart!”

Zoro, Law, Nami and Usopp all stared at the newly made dish. It smelled soft and fresh. The fruits on top glistened with condensation and the filling jiggled as Sanji cut slices for everyone.

“A tart?” Usopp took a serving from Sanji’s hand.

“It looks like one, but it’s not,” Sanji explained as he continued to hand out the slices. “The crust just keeps it from burning. Don’t eat that part- Seriously, Moss?”

Zoro spat out the piece of “crust” that he tried to chew. Sanji rolled his eyes and sat down with his own slice.

Usopp dug his spoon into the dish and took a bite. “It’s real salty! Thought it’d be more sweet.”

“Yeah, it’s good though,” Law said after swallowing a couple of bites. Zoro said nothing and just ate like tigers and wolves. He felt hunger a bit more strongly than the rest, thanks to the ogre side of his heritage.

Nami prodded at her slice and made a face. The thing that made this dinner was just strangling her before…

“Pretty sure you’d like this, Nami,” Zoro said as he chewed. “It’s kind of like those tangerine dishes you’ve made us.”

Usopp nodded. “Yeah, it’s like a quiche.”

Nami grumbled, “How are you so excited about this, Usopp?”

Her Half-foot friend took another bite of his slice and smiled softly. “Those plants were scary, yeah, but I do still like gardening and botany. Tarts and quiches are also some of my favourite foods. My mum used to make a real mean spinach one.”

Nami blinked, then looked at her slice again. Maybe eating the plant was a way to get back at it. She dug her spoon in and took a bite.

Woah.

Salty broth hit her tongue and the filling was incredibly creamy and smooth. The fruits were varied in texture and filled her mouth with crunch and softness.

“This is amazing!” She gasped, before taking more bites. Sanji practically shot up in joy when he saw this reaction.

“I’m so glad!” He cried out. Zoro rolled his eyes at him but his small smile indicated otherwise.

“The fertiliser-type fruit is juicy and sweet, while the digesting-type fruit is savoury!” Nami marvelled then held up one of the fruits. “I bet the animals love them too. It must be hard for the plant to make enough though. What’s the point if it’s just gonna get eaten?”

Law smiled softly, “Well, it is a carnivorous plant. So it makes fruit to attract the animals it eats to survive.”

“That makes sense,” Nami nodded and looked at her slice. “Then being delicious is part of the plant’s strategy. That is very clever of them-”

Nami cut herself off when she saw how Law stared at her with stars in his eyes.

“Now you see the appeal, Nami-ya,” He smirked. “Monsters are highly interesting as a field of study.”

Nami grimaced, disturbed by her own fascination and Law’s knowledge. “As if!”

And so, the team ate their meal in laughter and sarcasm. Once finished, they helped Sanji tidy up the utensils and began to prepare for sleep. But there was one more thing to do.

Zoro, Nami and Usopp stared at the corpse that fell out of the pitcher plant.

“So, what do we do about him?” Usopp asked, his lips pursed. 

“We’ll lose time dragging him back up to town,” Nami sighed. “Traffy, you think you could resurrect him?”

Law looked up from his grimoire. “I wouldn’t risk it, it could backfire.”

Zoro thought for a moment. “He’ll get picked up eventually if we leave him somewhere where people could see him.”

The three of them nodded. Then after gathering a rope, they set out on their mission, tying it around the corpse and heaving it over a high tree branch. It dangled and slumped.

As they stared at their handiwork, a particular image appeared in Zoro, Nami and Usopp’s minds.

“...Kind of looks like the gallows, doesn’t it?” Usopp winced.

That night, as they slept, Nami had a nightmare. As she twisted and turned in her sleeping bag, Zoro looked out at the hanging corpse. At least he had some company for night watch.

(The next day...)

“Hi, mum! I’m home!” Nami beamed as she entered the cottage’s kitchen. The faint smell of tangerines mixing with the steam of fresh cooking. She sniffed, then turned her attention to the stove where her mother was standing. “It smells amazing! Whatcha cooking there?”

Her mother, Bell-Mere, turned around and chuckled. A white apron tied around her muscular waist and her red mohawk hastily brushed. “It’s your birthday, remember? And I made all your favourite recipes!”

Nami gasped, “Really? You made them all?”

Bell-Mere smiled, “Every single one! I whipped up all your favourites-”

Nami leaned over in excitement, her mouth already watering-

“-Fresh from the bowels of the dungeon!”

Nami screamed and hastily sat up from her sleeping bag. She panted heavily and pulled at her hair. Usopp lurched and nearly tripped when he heard Nami. Zoro and Law stared at her.

“Are you alright, Miss Nami?” Sanji rushed towards her with a handkerchief to wipe her sweat.

“Guten Morgen, Nami-ya,” Law yawned.

Nami shuddered and let out a long sigh. “I had a nightmare…” Then, a salty, fatty smell began to fill her nostrils. She sniffed and lurched again. “That’s what I smelled in my nightmares! You smell that too, Usopp?”

“Yeah…” Usopp said dreamily as he leaned over the entrance of the hollow. “The party across the way’s there making breakfast.”

Nami stumbled over to look. There really was another party. A total of 5, consisting of an elf, two Tall-men, a gnome and a Half-foot. Lo and behold, they were-

“They’re cooking salted pork on buns?!” Nami cried. “That’s not fair!”

“I know!” Usopp agreed.

Zoro rubbed at his belly. “I am really missing some good old ham…”

The three of them drooled as they stared. Watching this, Sanji huffed.

“It’s horrible!” He scoffed. “It breaks my poor heart to see this.”

Nami, Usopp and Zoro turned to look at him. “Huh?”

Sanji pouted and sighed. “The diet of young adventurers these days is an absolute travesty! They only eat bread, dried meats and wine!”

“Bread does suck,” Law grumbled, earning a few looks from the other three.

Sanji continued with his rant. “I get it! Exploring a dungeon takes stamina which you build by eating fatty meat.” He stomped his foot. “But that isn’t enough! Malnutrition is the real monster! Just adding some veg or fruit would do wonders but young adventurers don’t know that.”

He sighed again as he sat down to prepare breakfast using yesterday’s leftovers. “Awful, just awful. Just filling the stomach isn’t enough.”

“Nutrition is the first measure one can take towards good health,” Law chimed in. “And the simplest.”

“Exactly!” Sanji pointed at Law, then grumbled at the sight of him. “And somehow it’s only the shitty elf mage who gets it.”

Law chose not to continue questioning why Sanji had a vendetta against elves.

“And I feel like such a hypocrite right now because we have yet to eat a balanced meal ourselves,” Sanji sulked then looked at Usopp, Nami and Zoro. “Miss Nami, little boy and Moss, you guys know why you’re drooling over that pork yonder?”

“...Because I don’t want to eat monster?” Usopp stared at him, grumbling as they all ate breakfast. “Also I’m not a-”

“It’s because your body is craving fat!” Sanji snapped, then he stood up. “So, we’ll hunt a monster that’s rich in fat today.”

And so, once breakfast was finished and everyone sorted their businesses, the party readied to continue their journey. Sanji continued with his nutrition talk.

“-It’d be great if we also found something that laid eggs too,” He said as they walked across the drawbridge. “Eggs are filling, nutritious. They are the perfect food. So if you find eggs, grab them.”

A realisation dawned upon Law at that moment and he leaned down a little to whisper into Sanji’s ear. “Cook-ya, you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Don’t get too close.” Sanji swatted Law away and then smirked a little. “Yes, I am thinking what you’re thinking.”

“Just spit it out,” Nami scowled.

Law cleared his throat. “The body of a chicken…the head of a snake…lethal fangs and spurs loaded with venom…Basilisk, the king of snakes!”

He held his hands up and his eyes glittered with excitement. Zoro, Usopp and Nami were almost reminded of how Luffy was with monsters.

“...Right, a basilisk,” Usopp grumbled.

Zoro leaned towards Usopp and Nami. “Ain’t that great, you two? You get to eat chicken meat!” Then he laughed with his entire chest.

Nami kicked him in the shin and whined, “Is it though? Can you even call it a chicken if it’s half chicken?!”

Zoro winced and rubbed at his shin. “I dunno!”

Law drifted into thought, seemingly unaware that he’s speaking aloud. “They are truly amazing. Multi-species monsters are always so…fun. Even to just research and analyse. I mean just their anatomy alone! And with just two distinct species, they highlight each other’s charms.”

He continued on, ignoring the disturbed faces of his companions (bar Sanji). “Basilisks show us the brilliances of the domestic chicken, even if most of us see them as poultry. A simple combination, but profound philosophically and biologically.”

“The cockatrice is another snake-tailed species but they live deeper down. I do wonder how does their flavour differ from a basilisk? Perhaps a comparative taste test…”

Zoro, Usopp and Nami stared at him. “You’ve got some weird ambitions, Traffy,” Nami sighed.

Law rolled his eyes. Then, the party went on the hunt for basilisks.

Following Sanji, they made their way to a vista. This particular one had a hole in its body and thick, moss covered trees grew through it.

“There should be a basilisk nest down there,” He said, pointing. Then he leapt down onto the thick tree branch below. The rest of the party followed. As they walked across, Sanji advised, “Basilisks lay eggs every two to three days, just like chickens. Take care not to step on any.”

The party looked around their vicinity for any signs of nests. Before long, Sanji called for everyone’s attention.

“And bingo, there’s some!” He pointed down at a nest located just within the vista ruin. Then everyone followed as he jumped down.

Sanji crouched down and inspected the dried grass nest filled with oval, basilisk eggs. “These look newly laid. Let’s steal them before the folks get back.”

And so began Operation Egg. Zoro gently handed one to Nami, who cringed a little at the texture.

“Are they supposed to be this long and squishy?” Nami frowned. Before Law could answer with some monster facts, a loud and shrill cry interrupted our egg thieves.

“Shit!” Zoro cursed.

“The cry of the basilisk…” Law whispered.

“Come on, Curly.” Zoro stood up and put his hand on his sword.

“Hold on, let me wrap these in cloth,” Sanji said, quickly wrapping the eggs. Then he got up and the party made a beeline to hide behind some bushes.

The shrill cry of the basilisk got louder as our party looked up to see a large chicken with a menacing snake tail chasing after two unfortunate adventurers.

“Hey it’s the party from earlier!” Usopp said, his eyes wide.

It was indeed. The basilisk screeched after them: an elf woman with curly hair holding a magic staff and a tall-man who wore a white mask that had a crude smile painted on it (the other three seemed to be dead). Their eyes wide with panic and their legs running with all their might.

The tall-man screamed as the basilisk kicked him with its sharp talons and spurs. He fell down on his knees as the elf woman leaned on the nearby tree growth. The menacing creature readied itself to attack them again.

“Tch.” Law clicked his tongue. “That’s the worst way to run from them, it’s just asking for them to kick you in the back.”

“Quit being heartless and go help them already!” Nami yelled, smacking Law in the face. Law winced in pain and rubbed at his cheek. Rolling his eyes, he turned to Zoro.

“Make yourself look scary and loud, Zoro-ya,” Law said calmly and quickly placed down a pebble next to Zoro. “Raise your arms and wave them.”

“Wait wh-”

“And Shambles.”

At an instant, Zoro found himself face to face with the basilisk. The two adventurers had been swapped out. Luckily, he did remember what Law told him. Regardless, he still would be giving Law a piece of his mind later.

“AHHHH!” Zoro roared and waved his arms around. To his surprise, the basilisk froze in some kind of shock. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sanji give him a nod. Zoro understood him immediately.

“Nice, Zoro!” Sanji yelled as he ran in front of the basilisk’s snake half. He jumped into the air and right as he landed a direct kick onto the snake’s head. Zoro unsheathed Wado and Yubashiri, swiftly slicing off its chicken head.

So it gets confused when you attack from both directions…Luffy’s two brains, one body explanation was right then.

Zoro panted as he sheathed his swords. He looked at the spoils of their efforts with Sanji, then they looked at each other.

“You’re a pretty good fighter, Curls,” Zoro grinned.

Sanji flicked his braid back and smirked. “Well, I gotta be if I cook monsters.”

The two then laughed together before realising there were still the two adventurers that they just rescued.

“How is his wound?” Zoro asked. Sanji, for the moment, busied himself with draining the basilisk’s blood, though not before giving the elf woman a smile, which she did not notice.

Law was inspecting the masked tall-man, who was now maskless, revealing the burn scars across half his face. Momentarily, Zoro had wanted to settle things with Law regarding that swapping stunt, but the sight of the two adventurers pained him. 

“I’ve healed the wound, but he still did get hit by a venomous spur,” Law sighed. “A recovery spell won’t get rid of the poison.”

The elf woman near them sobbed and held the tall-man’s hand. Law furrowed his eyebrows and his eyes softened as he looked at Zoro. “I did have an antidote but it must’ve gotten lost on the sixth floor when I used that return spell…” Law turned to the woman. “I’m sorry.”

The elf woman’s brown eyes began to fill with tears. However, her impending sobs were interrupted by the sound of Usopp’s voice.

“Sanji’s got the antidote!”

Law stood up, his eyes wide. “Really? Tell him to bring it here.”

Usopp looked away from Law.

“What?”

“...He’s planning on cooking with it.”

“What?!” Law stood up at once and rushed towards where Sanji was. “What do you mean you’re cooking with it? A man is dying!” Law rubbed at the spot between his eyebrows. “Just give it, Sanji-ya.”

“It’ll absorb better and taste better when cooked!” Sanji huffed, taking down the now drained basilisk. “And it’s far too early for lunch-”

“Just get cooking!” Nami barked, shocking the elf woman, whom she was comforting.

At Nami’s command, Sanji immediately began to prepare the basilisk, cutting off its tail and its legs. Then he placed it in his pot and scalded it with hot water. “Alright, idiots and Miss Nami,” He ordered. “Let’s get plucking.”

Thanks to the team effort, the basilisk’s chicken body was quickly stripped of all its plumage. Then, Sanji dropped it onto his chopping board and began to cut.

“It really does look like a chicken now,” Zoro commented.

“Take out the innards, rub in the spices…” Sanji muttered. “Ideally we should let it sit overnight to marinate-”

“We need to roast it now!” Usopp cried. Law and Nami firmly nodded as they held the poisoned tall-man.

“Okay, okay! I’ll get the stuffing ready!” Sanji snapped, grabbing more ingredients from his pack. Law noticed that they were various medicinal herbs: de-petrification, mana, de-paralysis, burn, antitoxin…

“Looks like a real healthy meal,” Law said as he watched Sanji chop the herbs.

“Like I said, you can’t just eat meat,” Sanji huffed. Then he took the freshly minced herbs to the basilisk body and stuffed it, before tying up the cut with some string. Sanji glanced briefly at the other ingredients at his disposal. He wanted to make soup with the tail and some smoked eggs and meat, but that’d have to wait.

“Apologies, Miss Nami, may I borrow your club?” Sanji asked, holding the basilisk with one hand.

Nami nodded and handed it to him. Sanji quickly cleaned and disinfected it, then he skewered the chicken with it. He gave Zoro a small smile when he saw that he’d set up a fire and crutches to hold the skewer. Placing the basilisk on the crutches, Sanji began roasting.

“How is he?” Zoro asked as he returned to Law and the others with the tall-man.

Law clicked his tongue again and breathed in to calm himself. “He had a fever not long ago but he’s getting colder.”

Zoro nodded. “Let’s get him near the fire.”

After wrapping the tall-man in some blankets, Law and Zoro gently carried him to where Sanji was roasting the basilisk. The skin of it crackled and browned.

“....Something smells amazing,” The tall-man mumbled, his breath weak. 

“Doesn’t it?” Nami smiled nervously.

“It’s done!” Sanji announced and lifted the basilisk off the fire.

“Hurry up and give him some!” Law shouted.

Sanji rolled his eyes at Law and quickly carved a few pieces for the poisoned tall-man. Law took it from him and rushed to feed it to his patient.

The elf woman held her companion up as Law fed some chicken to him. He chewed slowly with all the strength he could muster and swallowed.

“...It…It’s nice and juicy,” The tall-man managed to mumble out, shivering in the arms of his companion. She cried at the sight of him, weak but alive.

“We are so sorry about this,” Law said as he laid the tall-man down. He looked at the elf woman and gave her a soft smile. “His colour looks a lot better, he’ll recover soon.”

She sniffled, “Thank you.”

“Oi Law! Come and eat!” Sanji shouted.

Law was confused by Sanji’s use of his real name and parrotted back. “Law?”

“You heard me!”

“I can’t, I need to cast the recovery spell-” Law had begun to say, but he quickly became distracted by the juicy leg of chicken Sanji presented before him. He swallowed his drool, then took the plate from Sanji. “Fine.”

He took a bite and sighed at just how juicy and rich it was. “...That is like something the dining hall serves.”

“It really does taste like chicken,” Nami remarked, digging into a wing.

“I heard snakes also taste a lot like chicken,” Zoro added, earning looks of disgust from Nami and Usopp.

Law continued to enjoy his meal, before he realised that the elf lady was staring at him, still holding the patient.

“I- I’ll cast that recovery spell now,” Law said as he scrambled for his staff. He walked over to them and gently sat the tall-man up. Placing his hand on the man’s back, Law began chanting, “Heliam nos…Praja gosti olim…Curae santos atis…”

A faint glow emitted from his hands and it transported throughout the tall-man’s body. After a minute or so, Law lifted his hand from the man’s back.

“Ahh…” The man sighed and rubbed at his chest through his armour. “That feels much better.”

“Here’s your mask,” Law said as he picked up the white mask with the crudely drawn smile. The man blinked.

“Thank you.” He took it from Law and put it on.

“I’ll repay you for your-”

Law huffed and cut the tall-man off, “Never mind that, have some more food. I just made sure you won’t immediately collapse, but you still need to eat.” He held up some pieces of the basilisk that Sanji had saved. “Eat.”

The man stared at the plate of basilisk and so did his elf companion. The two then glanced at each other. “...Sure?”

“Great!” Sanji beamed and served them both.

Together with the two adventurers, the party properly dug into the Roasted Basilisk. Each sighing in relief at finally eating some meat.

“Thank you all so much,” The tall-man started. “I’ve never had proper food in a dungeon before.” He lifted his mask a little so he could eat properly. “Oh, and sorry for not introducing ourselves. I’m Hakugan and my companion here is Ikkaku.”

Ikkaku smiled. “We really can’t thank you enough, for the meal…for treating Haku…”

“Anything for a beautiful lady like yourself, miss!” Sanji beamed, earning a chuckle from Ikkaku.

As they ate, the party exchanged jokes and conversation with Ikkaku and Hakugan. Sanji took it upon himself to smoke some of the meat as well. And before long, the basilisk was down to its bones.

“Man, I’m stuffed!” Usopp sighed.

Hakugan let out a satisfied groan. “That was the first decent meal I’ve had in the dungeon…” Then he looked at Ikkaku, before hesitantly approaching Zoro and Law, who had begun to tidy up.

“Um…”

Law tilted his head. “Hm?”

“She and I…Our party’s been trying for three months to get past this part of the dungeon,” Hakugan began, “But the same monsters wipe us out every time.”

“We’re not making much progress…” Ikkaku sighed.

“But you guys eat monsters! Could you tell us how to get stronger so we can cook them like you do?” Hakugan pleaded, his voice high and his eyes wide.

Zoro and Law glanced at each other. “Um uh-”

Sanji crossed his arms and stomped his foot. “First! Improve your diet! Second! Get enough sleep, regulate your daily rhythms! Third! Exercise!”

“Follow these three rules,” Sanji huffed and placed a hand on his hip, “And in no time, you will get stronger!”

Hakugan and Ikkaku stared at Sanji, then they nodded firmly and bowed their heads.

They bid the party farewell and watched as they headed deeper into the dungeon. Standing with their other three companions, Hakugan let out a huff of determination.

“What an incredible group, Ikka! Let’s do our best too!”

Unfortunately, they were quickly wiped out by man-eating plants.

And so we learned today, dear reader, that unless you eat, you can’t get strong and unless you are strong, you cannot eat. Some contradiction, isn’t it? The solution of which is only dungeon food, ah…dungeon food.

Chapter Text

(The day before, after the Luffy Rescue Party was established…)

Nico Robin entered Windmill Village with Chopper, her injured friend. Ignoring the concerned gazes of the townsfolk, she made a beeline towards the house and clinic of one Dr Kureha, using her own magic to sustain Chopper for now.

Robin glanced down at her beast-man friend, the shallower wounds on his small body were closing but his breath was still weak. Robin swallowed.

Hang in there, Chopper.

Eventually, through the chatter of the town, she made it to a house with black framing and white plaster walls. After just one knock, a tall, spry woman in her 80s came out. Her hazel eyes widened behind her glasses at the sight of her injured ward.

“Doctorine…” Chopper had tried to say but quickly passed out. His mana was too low.

“Dr Kureha, he-” Robin started, but Kureha cut her off.

“Get him inside, quickly,” She ordered.

After laying Chopper down on a bed, Kureha and the other healers at the clinic tended to him. Casting recovery spell after recovery spell, Robin watched as they did so. Chopper’s beast-man nature meant it was a task if he had multiple different injuries, since his soul was mixed.

She furrowed her eyebrows and pursed her lips. Kureha sat down next to her.

“That idiot son of mine…” Kureha muttered, then she turned to Robin. “You did well with the emergency treatment, Ms Nico.”

Robin gave her a weak smile.

Kureha took a swig from her hip-flask. “What happened? Where’s that Straw Hat kid?”

At that, Robin felt her hands shake. Breathing in and out for a moment, she calmed herself down.

“Luffy, he- We encountered a Red Dragon on the sixth floor,” Robin began, “and Luffy got eaten.”

Kureha’s eyes widened. “Eaten?”

“Yes,” Robin nodded. “Do you know of Trafalgar Law, Doctorine?”

Kureha thought for a moment. “Yeah, young upstart healer,” She recalled, scratching her neck. “He single handedly saved that other party from the dragon 4 years ago? I believe that Straw Hat kid was in it.”

“Mmhm,” Robin nodded. “Luffy had Law return us all to the surface. I believe the remaining members have returned to the dungeon to-”

“I see,” Kureha interrupted, then she leaned back and sighed. “...I’ll take care of Chopper.” After a pause, Kureha took another swig from her flask. “You talked to Garp yet?”

“We’ve just returned from the dungeon.” Robin shook her head and stood up. “I’ll make my leave now.”

Kureha raised her flask. “Well, good luck to you. Garp’s not going to react well to this…”

After leaving a mana herb packet for Chopper, Robin bid Kureha goodbye. Then, she headed towards the town hall, which was also where the village chief lived.

She’s right. The chief is not going to react well to another grandson being lost to the dungeon.

Robin made her way through the town. Though it was called Windmill Village, the place quickly became a merchant and adventurer’s town after the discovery of the Island Dungeon 6 years ago in 508. And courtesy of the King of the Elves, Garp, the village chief, gained a new title: Island Lord.

Resisting the nice smelling spices and rich roasted scents from restaurants, Robin made her way to the town hall. A large building with a distinctive windmill shaped weathervane on top. When its doorman saw Robin, he immediately opened the door for her.

“The chief is in the dining room, ma’am,” He said. Robin thanked him and headed in that direction.

In the dining room, a tall-man in his 80s laughed heartily as he ate roasted chicken with a young, blond-haired tall-man in his 20s. Notably, the younger man had burn scars across the left side of his face and his left eye looked to the side, slumped. He noticed Robin and immediately beckoned her to sit down.

“Robin!” He beamed. “Come sit and eat! Gramps, have you no manners? Your main advisor is here!”

“Hello, Sabo,” Robin smiled, ignoring her trembling hands.

Garp looked up from his plate of food. “Ah Robin! How was the trip?” Then he handed her a plate of food. “And what’s with the face? Chin up, lass.”

Robin looked at her plate, then looked up at Garp, his face wearied with age and the wrinkles between his eyebrows now more prominent due to frowning.

“I-” She breathed in. “It’s about Luffy.”

“Luffy?” Garp raised an eyebrow, then he let out a long, tired sigh, “What did he do now?”

Robin felt her hands begin to tremble and her bottom lip quiver.

“…Robin?” Sabo looked at her, a hand outstretched in concern.

“...He- He got eaten.”

There was the clattering of metal cutlery and the loud slam of hands on the table. Both Sabo and Garp stood up, their eyes wide.

“What?!” Sabo cried.

“Eaten?!” Garp clamoured. “By what?”

Robin put down her knife. “The Red Dragon.” She watched as a wave of panic shot through both Garp and Sabo. Breathing heavily and gripping at the table, they sat down.

“His party members: Zoro, Usopp and Nami as well as the mage Trafalgar Law’s party have returned to the dungeon to perform a rescue mission,” Robin explained, herself also trying to not panic at the current situation. “They are trustworthy folk, I can testify this. If they can rescue and resurrect Luffy before he gets digested then-”

“Robin.”

Robin stopped and looked at Garp, whose hands now clasped each other and his expression serious.

“Gather a new party and head down to the dungeon,” He ordered.

“Sir-”

“I’m not going to lose another family member.” Garp gritted his teeth and looked down. Robin noticed the tears that welled in his eyes. Her gaze softened.

“Of course, sir.”

“It’s not just that, Robin,” Sabo said. Robin looked in his direction as he massaged his grandfather’s shoulders. “...The King of the Elves called today.”

Robin’s eyes widened. “His Majesty, Sengoku?”

At this, Garp groaned and slammed the table. “The old codger! He’s been pestering us for status reports on the dungeon. Always so cryptic about his reasons…” He spat angrily, before wiping his tears.

Sabo sighed, “When you go down there with a new party, we’d also appreciate it if you’d note down anything unusual and to just…continue with your research.”

“Sengoku’s still not telling us everything,” He went on, his eyes determined. “So if we can find even the smallest of information…maybe we can clear up any mysteries he and the elves are hiding from us.”

Robin nodded and bowed her head. “Of course I will.”

Sabo gave her a soft smile. “Thank you.”

(The current day, in the dungeon…)

After bidding Hakugan and Ikkaku farewell, the Luffy Rescue Party continued to descend deeper into the dungeon. Following Nami’s guidance, they made their way to the castle tower that would lead them deeper underground.

The tower itself was dilapidated. Its walls were crumbling and the stairs inside completely eroded. Due to this, adventurers used rope to get down into the structure, which was what our party did.

Landing first was Zoro, Usopp and Nami, followed by Sanji. Once landed, Usopp first checked the area for any hidden traps, while Nami got out their map.

Nami furrowed her brows as she looked at their routes. Zoro and Usopp glanced at the map over her shoulders. She clicked her tongue. 

“Probably won’t reach the third floor today,” She said. “We aren’t making good time.”

Zoro’s functional eye widened. “Seriously?”

Usopp yawned and stretched. “We spent way too much time roasting that…thing.”

“I would not recommend eating basilisk raw,” Sanji quipped as he checked his pack.

Zoro bit at the inside of his cheek. The more time they wasted meant the more time Luffy was getting digested. Zoro was not willing to test the theory of if anyone has been resurrected from poop before.

Nami looked up from her map and at Zoro, taking notice of how the big guy furrowed his brows and clenched his jaw. She sighed a little, eyes softening.

“I did hear that the Red Dragon wakes up once a month to hunt, Zoro,” Nami said. Usopp nodded to corroborate. Then, she gave Zoro a soft smile. “When we ran into it the other day, it must’ve just woken up to hunt.”

Zoro grinded his teeth and tapped at his swords. “So you’re saying…”

“It’s probably asleep with a full stomach right now,” Nami let out a breath she held.

Zoro nodded, feeling a knot bundling in his chest. He clenched his swords tight. “Then I’d like to find it before it’s hungry again,” He grumbled. Then he looked around for Law, who was nowhere to be seen on the ground floor. Zoro clicked his tongue, then looked upwards.

Law panted and huffed as he carefully climbed down the rope towards the rest. A sharp annoyance he’d not known before pierced through Zoro then as he watched the supposedly strong mage somehow struggle with climbing down a rope.

“Oi, Traffy!” Zoro shouted. “Speed up, won’t you!”

Grabbing hard onto the rough rope, Law clicked his tongue. He could feel his palms burning from friction. “Hang on-”

Law felt his foot slip from him. And he fell to the ground with a thud.

“You alright?” Usopp asked, wincing at how Law landed on right on his bottom.

He huffed and nodded. Then using his staff, Kikoku, Law helped himself up. He grumbled to himself, why on earth did his favourite brand of magic take so much out of-

“I can’t believe this,” Zoro scoffed. “Couldn’t you just shambles your way down or whatever it is you do.” As he said this, he did a poor impression of Law using his signature spell.

“It t-”

“In fact, nothing’s stopping you from using your magic more often!” Zoro rubbed at the spot between his temples. He could feel how tight his own body was getting and a dull pain in his chest.

“You-” Law dug his nails into his staff. His jaw clenched. “Teleportation spells use a lot of mana! Plus I also used a healing spell and a recovery spell on that tall-man! Sorry if I’m tired after using 3 spells in a row!”

Zoro grumbled, “We don’t have time for any of this.” He couldn’t show how worried he was about everything. Death was nothing in the dungeon, but even Zoro wasn’t sure how far he wanted to test the limits with how his leader’s in a dragon’s bowels.

“Mana is not infinite, Zoro-ya!” Law shouted, then he stopped himself. “...Look, I-”

Zoro felt a vein pop from his forehead.

“No one’s making you come with us, Law! Me, Nami and Usopp would have been fine by ourselves!” He spat, unaware of how he just used the elf’s actual name. “Pull your weight properly or you don’t need to be here at all. If you hurt yourself, you’ll just slow everyone down.”

Law’s eyes widened, his lips pursed and he dug his nails further into his own staff. He felt a sharp pain pierce his heart and lungs.

Squeezing one of his horns, Zoro groaned as he finally thought about their new party situation properly. This was the person Luffy trusted enough to ally with even after years of not seeing each other. This was the elf Luffy praised to be an amazing mage. This was the mage who Luffy assured them was one of the best healers.

He looked at Law again. The elf was glancing to the side, his hands fidgeting. The air around them congealed into silence. Zoro sighed and looked away from Law. “Tch.”

Law stared at his own feet. He was doing enough…right?

Nami looked at the two men who just had an explosive argument in front of her. She couldn’t believe them, especially her green-haired friend. Gripping at the map, Nami cut through the congealed silence.

“Are- Are we done?” She asked, her tone one of disbelief. Law and Zoro looked at her, then at each other, then looked away. “...Right.”

“I was just about to discuss alternative routes,” Nami sighed, then she rolled up her map and stood up from where she sat. “We can take the outside one instead, it’s easier.”

“...Won’t the big bats get in the way?” Usopp gulped, fidgeting with his belt.

At this, Law’s ears perked up. “I can-”

“Save your mana,” Nami sighed, then she gave him a gentle smile. “Why don’t you go sit?”

Law felt his face flush. A feeling of incompetence slowly crept at him.

“...There’s a secret passage somewhere around here,” Usopp suggested. “There’ll be loads of traps, but not monsters.”

Law pulled himself up with his staff, eyes wide once again. “I can use trap-disarming spells to-”

“It’ll be faster if Usopp disarmed them,” Zoro quipped, picking at his ears. At this, Law rolled his eyes and grumbled, face thoroughly flushed.

“There won’t be any monsters?” Sanji, who had been quiet all this time, interjected. He scratched at his neck. “...Then we’d need to stock up now.”

Sanji wasn’t sure what to make of the fight between Law and Zoro, nor did he know any of his new companions’ past history. But he knew one thing and that was people needed to be fed.

“We got the leftovers from lunch,” Zoro yawned, his sleepiness from night-watch catching up to him.

Sanji tutted. “Nutrition, Mosshead. We need vegetables too and all I’ve got are meat and eggs.”

Zoro grumbled. “Whatever.”

Sanji rolled his eyes, then he snapped his fingers. “There’s a mandrake colony not too far from here. I can go get some while your mage rests.”

At the word ‘mandrake’, Law immediately stood up. Excitement bubbled under his tattooed skin.

“I can handle mandrakes!” He shouted, raising a hand. “I know how to pick them!”

Sanji gave him a look and adjusted his helmet. “...I’m fine by myself-”

“No!” Law interrupted, then he removed his grimoire from its holster. “Mandrakes are extremely dangerous. Amateurs who handle them always pay the price dearly…”

Everyone stared as Law trailed off and began to walk out of the tower they were in. Still reeling from the argument and not willing to go insane just yet, they followed him.

It was time to pick some mandrakes.

Law breathed in the air of the woods and turned to the rest of the party. His tan skin flushed and his braids frazzled. Anyone could see the slight manic glint of his golden eyes.

“Mandrakes are fundamental to potion making,” He explained as he flipped his grimoire to the right pages. “And I’m the magic expert, so you’re all going to listen to me.”

Zoro grumbled at this, earning a glare from Law.

“Especially you, Roronoa-ya,” Law seethed. Walking along the mossy bark, Law continued with his lecture. “Now when mandrakes are pulled from the ground, they scream. If you hear it, you’ll go insane or worse, it will kill you.”

Hearing this, Usopp gulped, “We’ll be wiped out…”

“Exactly!” Law stomped. “We’ll lose time and Luffy-ya will be minced meat. So here’s how we’re doing this.” He cleared his throat and began to recite from his grimoire.

“First, we’ll need a well trained dog and a leash.”

“A dog?” Nami raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Connect the dog to the mandrake with the leash,” Law continued, ignoring Nami. “Then call it from a safe distance. The dog will run to you and pull the mandrake out.”

With that, he closed his grimoire and crossed his arms, still holding Kikoku. Law gave his travelling companions a smug grin.

“...What happens to the dog?” Usopp asked tentatively, his mouth thinning into a line.

The smug grin immediately disappeared from Law’s face as he looked down and swallowed.

“...It dies.”

“That’s horrible!” Nami grimaced.

“And where are you even getting dogs to sacrifice?” Zoro questioned with a grumble. “For a guy supposedly good with plans, this one’s cruel and inefficient.”

“But-” Law faltered, gripping onto his grimoire, “That’s what I was taught!”

“Can’t we just use a really long rope?” Nami contemplated. “If we use a rope long enough, we won’t be able to hear the scream. Then we wouldn’t need to kill a dog.”

Law bit at his bottom lip. “I- Well, there’s a reason that won’t work, Nami-ya,” He said as he flipped through his grimoire. “You see getting the right angle when pulling is really important…”

As Law tried in vain to explain himself, Sanji took out his cooking knife and knelt down near a mandrake. Law looked up from his grimoire and watched as the cook grab the mandrake’s leaves and-

“WAIT, COOK-YA!”

Humbly, Sanji gently tugged the mandrake out a little and stabbed a knife through its head.

“If you cut their heads off first, they won’t scream,” Sanji explained, holding up a decapitated mandrake. “Easy-peasy.”

Law hyperventilated and trembled. He had screamed out so uncharacteristically loud that it shocked Nami, Usopp and Zoro with how high his voice went.

“Makes sense,” Zoro said, admiring Sanji’s strategy.

“Damn!” Usopp exclaimed, still covering his ears from Law’s scream.

Staring at the headless mandrake, Law pulled at his braids. “But that’s not the right way, Sanji-ya-”

“Tch,” Sanji scoffed. “I’ve been doing it this way for ages, Shitty Mage. I ain’t dead yet.”

“This isn’t like picking carrots, Sanji!” Law scolded, his hands grasping at the air. “It’s really dangerous!”

Zoro rolled his eyes. “Curly here has actual experience, Law, and have you actually tried your book method?”

Law’s eyes widened at this and he looked down. No, I felt bad for the dog…

Nami sighed at the sight of Law’s dejected self. “Well there’s no dog and time is tight…” She stretched her arms. “Let’s use Sanji’s method.”

At this, Sanji beamed and hummed ‘Mellorine’. You’d think hearts were flying off him.

Staring in disbelief, Law watched as his companions walked away from him and followed their cook to pick mandrakes. He hugged his grimoire tight and gritted his teeth. Then, digging his foot into the bark beneath him, Law put his book away and grabbed Kikoku. Filled with new determination, he pondered.

If such an easy method like Sanji-ya’s existed, I would’ve been taught it…

Fuck. He kicked at a pebble and nibbled at his thumb. Law, you idiot, first rule of research: test your methods…

Law snapped his fingers. That’s it! I haven’t tested the method!

Gripping Kikoku tight, he let out a low chuckle. I’ll show them the way I was taught was right! Then they’ll see…

He closed his eyes and imagined the admiration he would hypothetically receive.

“Oh Law! We’re so sorry!!”

“I forgive you.”

He could get used to that. Probably.

With his goal clear, it was now the time for Law’s greatest strength to shine. He was going to make a plan.

But what to use instead of a dog? The answer was of course, a monster. And Law knew the perfect option for this: a big bat.

Lifting his head high, Law scoured the area for a big bat nest. Once he located one (by looking at which tree hole had guano around it), he took the rope he had and tied it around a mandrake. Then, Law climbed up to the railing above the big bat nest to hang the rope over its entrance.

I do hope this works, the book didn’t say how hard the mandrake needs to be yanked… He thought as he inspected his handiwork. Whatever, as long as I don’t embarrass myself, it’ll be fine.

Then, after some more thinking, Law nodded to himself in reassurance. Both Cora and the Nova Magic Institute taught me well. Yeah.

Law shook his head to ignore the voice of Luffy in his mind telling him about how he always thought too much.

Now where can I go to avoid the scream… At this, Law looked around his surroundings again until he spotted a tall tower just opposite where he was.

Alright, let’s go.

After making his way up the entire tower by foot, Law arrived at his desired location. He leant on the stony brick of an arrow loophole to rest, then, he stood up and gripped his staff, its red gem glinting.

Staring directly at the big bat nest opposite him, Law breathed in and breathed out.

I can hit it from here easy.

With a smirk, he swung his staff back and cast the spell.

“Aire Faum Orbis!”

A small fireball manifested and shot directly at the side of the bat nest with a bang. Law stared as the red eyes of big bats appeared from the darkness of the nest.

Then suddenly, a swarm of big bats rushed out of the entrance of their nest, screeching in panic. To Law’s great delight, one flew directly into the rope leash he’d prepared.

“Yes!” He exclaimed, grinning like a maniac.

As the big bat flew, the mandrake the rope was tied to was yanked out. Speckles of dirt fell and it screamed.

And oh boy, did it scream.

“AHHHHHHHHH!”

Down below, Usopp winced at the distant scream. “What the fuck?!”

Zoro, Nami and Sanji looked up at what Usopp was seeing. Their eyes widened.

“Law!”

Meanwhile, Law watched as the big bat flapped around with the screeching mandrake. Before suddenly, it began to fly in increasingly disorganised patterns and was now hurtling straight towards him.

Law’s eyes widened and he began to move back.

“No…No!”

His mouth went agape as he saw the big bat’s horrifying face right above him.

At this moment, Law understood the importance of experience. Now he knew why using big bats instead of dogs was a terribly stupid idea.

“ARGH!”

CRASH!

The remaining party members looked up to see a cloud of dust and falling bricks at the tower where Law was.

“LAW!” Nami screamed.

“Holy-” Usopp gasped, covering his ears.

“That- Ugh!” Immediately, Zoro stood up and ran to where Law was. The others followed suit.

When the rest of the party finally got up to where Law was, the first thing they saw was the big bat corpse.

“Is he dead?!” Usopp panicked.

Zoro scanned the area and saw the elven mage hugging his knees and sitting in a corner.

“He’s alive,” Zoro sighed.

“What the hell happened?” Nami queried as they all walked towards their mage.

“Law- Huh?” She looked down to see a mandrake with a head intact. Then she looked at Law. “You- You used a big bat.”

“Well that was stupid,” Zoro scoffed, then yelped when Nami kicked him in the calf.

Law did not answer them.

Nami furrowed her brows, then sighed. “Oi, Traffy, can you hear me?”

Law’s ears wriggled and he looked up. Zoro, Nami and Usopp lurched back in shock.

His eyes were wide with a blank daze and his gold irises pointed outwards. His mouth was slightly agape and most unusual of all, his words were all jumbled and nasally.

“Yeah, I can never felt better.”

“Yeah, right!” Usopp gasped. “Yeesh!”

Nami let out a long sigh. “He heard the scream…” She looked at Law’s muddied gaze. “Keep talking to him, that’ll help clear his head.”

Zoro grumbled, “Seriously…” Nami gave him a look and motioned at him aggressively. At this, Zoro clicked his tongue and turned to Law.

“...Why’d you do that?” He probed.

Law blinked, then regardless of how muffled, he spoke.

“I owe Luffy-ya the bare mimimum of being able to look after his party. Since I’m the other party leader in this alliance.”

Everyone’s eyes widened.

“So when Zoro-ya said I was slowing you all down, I panicked.”

Zoro glanced to the side to avoid Nami and Usopp’s glowering anger.

“So I thought, ‘I want to stick it to you idiots and make you all grovel at my feet’.”

On instinct, Zoro’s hands went to his swords. Nami pulled him back with a stomp to his foot.

“I’m not doing enough to help everyone. And I think I’m really letting Luffy-ya down. He’d be really sad if you all got hurt, and I don’t want him to be sad…”

Nami blinked at this. She felt like she just heard a confession that no one could ever pry from Law, not even from his cold, dead hands.

“So when Zoro-ya said what he said…It really hurt.”

Zoro bit his lip and looked down. A feeling of guilt bubbled within his chest. He frowned and looked away from Law.

When Usopp saw that, he rolled his eyes, then bent down to speak to Law at a closer level.

“Look, um…Traffy,” He began, a hand on Law’s knee. “Luffy really trusts you. I mean, I don’t really get why, but his judgement of others has never failed yet so…” Then, he paused and struggled to find additional words. “...You’re strong! Real strong! The monsters are only going to get tougher and you’ll keep us all safe!”

“...We just don’t want you to waste your mana now on small things,” Nami sighed and placed a hand on Law’s arm. “Everyone’s got their strengths and weaknesses. And I know you feel like you need to ‘be responsible’. But we support each other here, you know? That’s how Luffy operates and that’s how we operate.”

Law blinked and looked up at Nami. Irises still pointing outwards.

“Let us handle things here, so you can be ready later,” She sighed again then gave the mage a small smile. “So please, have more faith in us.”

Then, alongside Usopp, Nami turned her attention to Zoro, who had been trying to avoid the conversation. “And you! You better apologise to Traffy! What you said was seriously out of line!”

“Yeah! Gosh, you can be so insensitive,” Usopp muttered.

“Huh?” Zoro picked at his ears.

“Don’t ‘huh’ us!” Nami snapped. “I know you feel bad about it but you’re just too proud to say it!”

Zoro’s eye widened at this and he huffed. His face flushed. He didn’t like to admit when others were right, but Nami was right. He was worried about Law, even more so now that the guy was a part of the party. There was responsibility from Zoro’s end to protect him too, alongside the rest.

Not that they’d need to know about this. Zoro wasn’t the type to reveal weaknesses just like that.

He clicked his tongue and looked at the elf again.

“I’m...I’m actually real glad you joined us, Traffy,” Zoro mumbled. “...You’ve been a big help since day 1, and…the captain would be real happy that you’re here with us.”

Law glanced up at him, his eyes no longer dazed, his face flushed from what could be assumed to be embarrassment.

“Put more feeling into it, dick,” He muttered.

Zoro felt a vein pop from his forehead. “You creepy-”

Promptly, he was cut off by Nami’s powerful kick to his shin.

While the party tried to help Law become lucid again, Sanji busied himself with draining the dead big bat’s blood. Once that was finished, he laid out all the ingredients and called everyone over.

“This is great!” He beamed and clapped. “We got ourselves a nice, fat big bat and a haul of mandrakes and eggs! I think we’ll have omelettes!”

“Cheers to that,” Law murmured, hiding a soft smile.

And so, the team observed their ingredients and began food prep. The whole ordeal had made them all hungry.

Nami slowly picked up a basilisk egg. She was still irked by how long and squishy it was. Frowning, she poked at the long, tubular thing.

“You sure this…thing’s an egg?” Nami questioned, wrinkling her nose. “Doesn’t look like any egg I’ve seen.”

“That’s what a snake egg looks like,” Law answered as he gathered the mandrake heads.

“But only the tail is the snake!” Nami puzzled. “The body’s all chicken!”

“Nami-ya,” Law sighed. “The chicken’s the tail.”

At that moment, Nami’s jaw dropped. She felt as if her brain had exploded.

The chicken’s the tail?!

“They used to think the snake’s the tail,” Law yawned as he put the mandrake heads next to where Zoro, Usopp and Sanji were. “But recent research by Vegapunk suggests when a basilisk is cut down the middle, the chicken dies, but the snake lives…Pretty fascinating…”

Nami shivered and made a face. “Ugh, horrific.”

Meanwhile, Sanji focused his efforts on prepping the mandrakes by peeling their skin, merely shaking his head at Law. As he peeled one particular mandrake with his knife, he noticed something strange about it.

“Hm, this one’s brighter than the others,” He said, holding the mandrake next to another.

“You’re right,” Usopp commented. “Oh that’s the one Traffy picked! It still has a head.”

Sanji hummed and looked at the two mandrakes in his hands. Then, he grinned and transferred them to his cutting board.

“First, mince the mandrakes then stir-fry them using bacon fat,” Sanji narrated as the bacon and mandrakes sizzled. Once frying was completed, he transferred everything to a bowl and diced the bacon. Zoro sighed quietly at the smell of fresh bacon.

“Next, crack an egg and whip it.”

After Sanji rapidly whisked the egg using some chopsticks and mixed it with the mandrakes and bacon, he poured it all into the pan. A puff of steam hissed as the mixture made contact.

“And once all nice and fluffy…” Muttering, Sanji flipped the omelette twice. Satisfied, he plated this omelette and then quickly made a few more.

Once all were plated, Sanji added mandrake leaves to garnish and…

“It’s ready! Mandrake and Basilisk Omelettes!”

Zoro, Nami and Usopp stared in amazement. Steam rose from the fluffy egg and the filling glistened.

“They’re a lot yellower than chicken eggs,” Usopp quizzed, tilting his head.

“More red than yellow, really,” Zoro said, crossing his arms.

Nami made no comment, still shocked by the revelation she received about basilisk anatomy.

Sanji placed two particular omelettes before him.

“This one has the mandrake we picked in it.” Sanji pointed at the one on his left, then he pointed at the one on his right. “And this one has the one Shitty Mage picked using his big bat method.”

“Sure, Cook-ya, rub it in, why don’t you?” Law muttered, his face flushing as he looked to the side.

Sanji cursed under his breath. “You’re lucky to even get a plate!”

“Now, now, boys,” Nami tutted. Sanji immediately faltered and apologised.

Taking a spoon, Usopp took a bite from each omelette. When he ate the one on his left, his eyes lit up.

“Hm!” Usopp hummed. “The one with Traffy’s mandrake is less bitter and more mellow!”

Zoro took a bite, then he took another. “It’s real good,” Zoro mumbled through a full mouth.

Nami smacked him in the shoulder. “Table manners!”

“...I guess it loses some of its toxins when it screams,” Sanji said, his hand under his chin. He mumbled under his breath for a moment, then he clicked his tongue. “The basic rule of cooking is that if you put more effort in, the better the taste.”

Shaking his head, Sanji sighed, “I got so focused on efficiency that I forgot that rule…” He turned his attention to the elven mage he had insulted so much. Sanji had his own reasons to hate his own kind and magic, but Law…

Perhaps he was treating him unfairly.

“My apologies too, Law,” Sanji said and shrugged. “You and that cookbook of yours were right.”

“My grimoire isn’t a cookbook, Sanji-ya!” Law snapped.

Ignoring him, Sanji picked up the plate of cooked mandrake heads. “As my thanks, you can have the most nutritious bits,” He said as he put 4 of the heads onto Law’s plate. “...This is the only time I’ll be nice to you.”

Law stared at the heads, then at Sanji. Poorly hiding the flush on his face, Law picked up a head.

“...Thanks.” Then, he popped one into his mouth and closed his eyes. “That…That hits the spot.”

At this, Sanji smiled a little.

Usopp and Nami watched in horror as Law continued to eat the mandrake heads. Even Zoro, who had a tough stomach, wanted to cringe at their human-like faces.

“How is he not sick from eating these things?” Usopp groaned. Next to him, Nami gagged.

“Beats me.” Zoro said, then stuffed his face with more omelette.

There was only one thing to say, Dungeon food, ah…Dungeon food.

(The day before, Windmill Village Town Hall…)

Rubbing his grandfather’s shoulders, Sabo watched as Robin left on her new assigned mission. He felt a twinge of pain as he watched Garp tried to hold back crying. Sabo sighed at this. Their grandfather always tried to appear tough and stable, just so the three of them could take it easy.

But it’s not the three of you anymore.

Sabo sighed.

“...Gramps, you okay?” Sabo asked, leaving briefly to pull a chair over. He sat down and tilted his head. “Gramps?”

“...This family will be the death of me, kid,” Garp sighed. Then he gritted his teeth and let out a loud groan. “God, after your father went, I swear you three-” He breathed in and held his fist tight. “...You’re the only one that stayed safe!”

“I-” Sabo looked down and thought about their family’s misfortunes. After Dragon’s passing and later Luffy being ostracised for his magic, he remembered saying to Ace that they could be cursed. Ace, being the headstrong guy he was, said this.

“So what if we’re cursed! I’ll punch fate in the face!”

Sabo let out a dry chuckle and felt a hot tear drip from his still functioning eye.

“We picked our own choices, Gramps,” He said softly. “...You know-”

Garp sighed and blew his nose. “‘You have your own freedom!’” He said, doing a poor impression of his own son. Then Garp muttered. “And look at where that’s gotten us! Your father’s dead, your brother’s dead and Luffy’s…” Garp motioned his hands around to try and describe what happened to Luffy, before giving up and slumping into his chair. He closed his eyes and sniffled.

Sabo tentatively handed his grandfather another napkin, which he took while shaking his head. He watched as Garp blew his nose again before he scrunched his face and clawed at his own scalp. Looking up, Sabo thought about Luffy and his party. 

“You’re going back into adventuring?”

“Yeah.”

“Luffy, tha-”

“Don’t worry! Shi shi shi- I found a crew!”

Right, his crew, Sabo recalled. When he found out that some of them had seedier reputations (a certain Nami of Cocoyashi and Roronoa Zoro), he asked Robin to go join the party. To Sabo’s surprise, he learned that Luffy somehow commanded utter respect from all the members, despite it looking like the opposite. Sabo was amazed to hear every time whenever a member still decided to stick with his brother despite his monetary issues.

Smiling softly, Sabo rubbed at the tattoo on his inner wrist that spelled ‘ASL’. Then, he turned to Garp.

“Gramps,” Sabo began.

His grandfather looked up. “Hm?”

“You- Let’s have hope in Luffy’s friends.”

Garp’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding me.”

“Excluding exceptional circumstances, death isn’t permanent in the dungeon, Gramps.” Sabo crossed his arms. “They’re good adventurers. They made it further than Ace and us ever did.”

He watched as his grandfather’s wrinkles deepened. Sabo sighed.

“You don’t have to, but I do believe in them.” Then he recalled something Dragon said to him, Ace and Luffy when they were much younger. “You know…Dad always said that hope is a powerful thing and that even having a little can go a long way.”

At these words, Garp let out a tired laugh. “Your reckless father did teach you three something, huh?” He laughed again, then patted Sabo on the head, to which his grandson responded with a shout of protest, before laughing.

“Then,” Sabo smiled, “let’s hope.”

Chapter Text

(The day after Luffy was eaten, on the surface…)

Robin woke up with a start.

She did not dream, for what happened yesterday still felt unreal. As she stretched her arms, Robin looked around, then she got up, got dressed and headed straight to the kitchen. She could smell the aroma of cooking oil and bacon, as well as toasted bread.

“Morning, love.” A dwarf with blue hair smiled at her, his calloused hands busy making breakfast sandwiches. This was Robin’s husband, Franky.

Robin returned the smile. “Morning…” Then she yawned and went to grab some mugs. As she prepared herself to make tea for the two of them, Robin felt a firm hand on her shoulder.

“You seem exhausted,” Franky said, his eyes soft. “I’ll handle breakfast today.”

At this, Robin smiled and lightly kissed him.

The married couple exchanged simple words as they ate. It was a hearty breakfast, consisting of bacon, poached eggs and toasted sourdough bread. The tea was also citrusy and fragrant, a blend Robin acquired during a past trip to Cocoyashi, before she knew Nami.

Once they finished breakfast, they each prepared for their day. Franky gathered all the equipment he needed for a fishing boat repair gig and Robin…Robin gathered all the supplies you would need to gather a party of adventurers: money, mainly.

Oh, and she made sure to pack some homemade cookies for Chopper.

Then she grabbed her staff. At the door, Robin and Franky kissed each other goodbye and left for their respective work of the day.

After stopping by at Kureha’s Clinic and dropping off the cookies (she hoped that Chopper will thoroughly enjoy them once he woke up), Robin headed for an establishment known to be a hub for adventurers, a place named Shakky’s Rip-off Tavern.

As Robin approached the white building with a thatched roof and wooden frames, she still found herself surprised at the crowds of people surrounding the tavern. The location was by no means as affordable as other places with equal quality, but it was still the most popular location due to admiration for its owner’s beauty. 

Alongside Nami, Robin did find herself admiring Shakky’s business skills. The Tall-man knew how to turn a profit.

Through the doors beneath the giant sign that read ‘Shakky’s Rip-off Tavern’, Robin walked past conversations of gold, deals and celebrations. The hopes and despairs of all adventurers, regardless of race, gathered in the town, in the dungeon, on that Island.

Robin scoured her surroundings for potential recruits. The tavern was packed. Some danced jigs on the tables, some were playing their lutes and fiddles and some laughed and drank so heartily that they would spill their pints and be forced to buy more.

Robin was not sure how easy it was to recruit adventurers in such a chaotic environment. She sighed then headed to buy a drink. The desk’s always on the calmer side, usually.

A Tall-man with a lovely head of bobbed black hair smiled at Robin as she took a seat. She was holding a small pipe in one hand and wore a dark pink bodice over a shirt with rolled up sleeves. This was Shakky.

“The usual, Robin?” She smiled, setting down her pipe.

“Yes, the espresso one.”

Shakky nodded, then got to work.

“You look exhausted, dear,” Shakky asked as she deftly mixed up Robin’s drink. “Garp giving you a hard time?”

“Oh no!” Then Robin paused. “...It’s just…let’s just say complicated at the moment.”

Robin stared at the espresso drink that was now in front of her then looked up at Shakky, her eyes accentuated by wrinkles and worry.

Shakky took a puff of her pipe. “Something really serious happened then. Come to think of it, you’re on your own…where’s the rest?”

At this, Robin sighed again. “Luffy got eaten by a dragon.”

The Tall-man’s eyes went wide and she immediately set down her pipe.

“I’ve heard rumours of this…” Shakky muttered. “And I thought Rayleigh was just humouring me! Goodness…”

Robin took a gulp of her drink, the alcohol burned her throat and the bitterness of espresso danced on her tongue. “The mage, Law, got us all out. I left with Chopper because his injuries were too severe but the rest should be back down on a rescue mission…I’m on orders to form a new party.”

“For rescue as well?”

“That and research,” Robin said. “...The elves are being cryptic again.”

She took another swig of her stiff drink, then set the empty glass down. “I’ll be sending some recruitments through the guild…though admittedly I’m not sure how many are willing to join a rescue mission for Luffy….”

Money was the language of the Island and its dungeon, and Luffy was a prime target of jealousy and bad rumours by other adventurers. Robin recalled all the times adventurers referred to their party with such venom because they saw Luffy’s pure adventuring spirit as interfering with their goals of conquering the dungeon, since somehow with all this unconventionality, Luffy reached the furthest every time.

“I wouldn’t mind joining you, miss."

Shakky’s face lit up. “Oh, Jinbei! I was just about to suggest you as an option.”

Robin turned and before her was an immensely tall ogre with dark brown skin, curly and greying black hair and a long pair of horns. He had a slight underbite and wore a faded orange tunic over a bishop sleeved shirt. He gave Robin a gentle smile.

“Forgive me, sir, I…” Robin glanced up and down at Jinbei.

The man laughed. “I used to be a member of his old party, the one with his brothers.”

“Yes, come to think of it, Sabo did mention you!” Robin’s eyes widened, then she dug to find her bags of coins. “I can pay extra, thank you-”

“No need, I’ll take the standard fee of one bag,” Jinbei said and held a hand up. Then he whispered, “In fact, even consider it a favour, as appreciation towards the brothers.”

He held out a hand and took the bag offered from Robin, who was feeling a lot more at peace with what’d been going on.

“And erm, if you’re worried about party members,” Jinbei began, finishing off his beer, “I know the cleric, Marco, also a friend of theirs. He’ll be a great help for this.”

Robin’s mouth went a little wide. Marco? The Phoenix, Marco? Luffy had well known connections, Robin knew that fact, but Marco might be the most famous of all the clerics currently operating in this area, especially for a Tall-man.

At Robin’s reaction, Jinbei laughed. “It’s really no big deal! Marco would be happy to help, considering how Luffy’s Ace’s family.” Then he got up. “His clinic’s just downtown, how’s about we go and ask?”

Robin looked at how gentle yet determined Jinbei’s face was. She nodded, then grabbed her staff.

“Alright,” She said, “let’s go.”

Once the bill was sorted, Robin and her newest party member left to find their cleric.

(The next day, in the dungeon...)

Under the lights created by Law, the party walk down the stairs of the dungeon and descend deeper, down towards floor 3. They were slowly getting back on schedule, much to their relief.

“There should be a shortcut somewhere around here…” Usopp said as he looked around and tapped his foot.

“Shortcut?” Sanji frowned in confusion.

“Secret entrance,” Usopp sighed. “Zoro, can I borrow a sword?”

Zoro nodded, then handed Usopp Yubashiri. He used to be quite hesitant about Usopp using his swords for his job, but has since gotten used to it.

Carefully, Usopp unsheathed Yubashiri and whacked the wall with its blunt side. Putting his hand by his ear, he listened as the echo of clanging metal resounded throughout the space.

Alright…Oh, I see!

Smiling smugly, Usopp ran his hand across the stone wall behind the others. “And here it is!” His hand stopped at one particular brick, then using his elbow, he nudged it in. “Open sesame.”

At that, the wall behind them all moved and revealed a staircase that was going down. Applause came from Law, Nami and Zoro.

“How the heck did he know?” Sanji asked, amazed.

“Usopp’s a professional when it comes to locks and traps,” Zoro said, smiling at his friend. “He’s got sharp senses, being a half-foot.”

Sanji nodded slowly and watched as Usopp tidied up his pack, before getting up and handing Yubashiri back to Zoro.

“Alright, people,” He said, tugging at the straps of his backpack, “there’s loads of traps coming up, so don’t make a move unless I say so!”

After letting out a small huff, Usopp began to walk towards the entrance, then he turned around.

“If there’s anything I hate more than dying, or sickness, it’s people getting in my way while I work,” He snapped, before walking down the stairs leading from the secret entrance.

Sanji watched as Usopp descended from the entrance and scoffed at his attitude. He rolled his eyes, then went down with the rest.

Holding lanterns, the party followed Usopp through the dark corridor of the shortcut. Eventually, they reached a dark, empty room.

“Stop!” Usopp said, halting Zoro and the rest in their tracks. Briefly, his dark brown eyes scanned the space, then he set down his pack and turned to Law. “Traffy, lights please.”

With a wave, balls of light appeared from Law’s staff and floated upwards into the room, illuminating the space. Once he deemed the place bright enough, Usopp took off his shoes and outer layers until he was just wearing his shirt and trousers.

Like a dancer, Usopp slowly walked across the cobbled floor, avoiding a few rocks in between. The rest watched as he made his way across, occasionally leaning down to the ground and tapping gently. After a final scan of the room, Usopp stood up and turned to them.

“Only step where I just stepped,” He said, voice firm.

And so, Zoro, Nami and Law followed, stepping lightly and avoiding the cobble where Usopp didn’t go. Meanwhile, though he followed the Half-foot’s instructions initially, Sanji quickly began to deliberately ignore them. He soon felt a piece of the cobble floor sink and-

“AH!” Usopp yelped as iron spikes shot out of the ground where he stood. Other than a sharp sting on his left cheek, Usopp avoided the trap, thanks to his small stature. He stood, arms up defensively before feeling a vein throb on his forehead. Grabbing the bars that now made up the cage he was in, Usopp whipped his head around to stare at Sanji, the culprit.

“What the heck are you doing?!” Usopp yelled. “I clearly said only step where I just stepped!” Then like a passerine, he leapt to where Sanji was and stared at his shoes. “Why is your foot hanging over this other tile?!"

Sanji scoffed and flipped his hair back. “Tch, you’re too uptight, Shitty Kid.”

“Kid?!” Usopp gritted his teeth. “Uptight?! Being careful matters here! If you don’t watch your bloody steps, you’ll kill someone!” He spat. “Listen! There are all kinds of traps, some of them work together and some affect each other! If you trigger one, all my calculations go out the window!”

Then he pointed right at Sanji’s face. “So open your ears and step where I tell you too!”

At this, Sanji rolled his eyes and lifted his other foot.

Usopp’s eyes widened. “Wait!”

Sanji stepped down and swiftly, a giant guillotine blade came crashing down. Right towards Usopp.

He screamed as he dodged. Then he screamed again as arrows rained from the ceiling. Seething, Usopp turned to look for Sanji, who was standing right near the winged lion decoration on the wall.

Eyes wide, Usopp ran towards the elf as quickly as he could. “Don’t!”

Fire shot out of the lion’s mouth as Sanji’s foot landed on a tile near it. He stared at the stream of flames, his singular blue eye illuminated by the fire.

“This room’s got all sorts of traps,” Sanji remarked, his hand under his chin. “This one would burn you up before you knew it!”

“Get off that tile already!” Usopp screamed. “Fire traps free oil and it won’t stop unless you move your foot!”

“Oil?” Sanji mumbled.

“And the last thing I need is a roasted elf!” Usopp continued.

“Roasted, huh?” Sanji murmured. “No, not roasted.”

Usopp looked up. “Eh?”

“Fried…No. Deep-fried…” Sanji was still in thought, fire continued to make him glow in its light.

Usopp blinked and frowned, his palms sweating and his eyebrows dropping downwards. Sanji was…Sanji was…

A sharp realisation hit the elf and his desire for a certain dish exploded deliciously.

“Kakiage!”

Sanji nodded to himself and gripped his fist tight.

“We’re having tempura for lunch today!” He beamed, turning to Zoro, Nami and Law. Then he looked towards Usopp, who kneeled on the ground in despair. “You know where the oil for this trap is stored?”

Usopp swallowed. “N- No way, you can’t eat that stuff-”

“Alright then, Half-foot kid…” Sanji’s eye narrowed. “So you think you’re an expert in cooking oil now?”

“I hate it when people call me kid,” Usopp grimaced, sinking further into despair.

“Vegatable oil is the most common and I bet that’s what it is,” Sanji explained, his voice calm. “Anyway, I just want to check it out myself. If not, no worries, I won’t use it.” 

Usopp stared at Sanji. Feeling like he’s aged another 5 years, Usopp sighed.

“Alright, fine.” Then he stood up and pointed firmly at Sanji. “But from now on, when we’re dealing with traps, you do exactly as I say! If you don’t like following my orders, then find the damn oil yourself!”

Sanji blinked and nodded. “I swear I’ll do what you want.” Then he smiled, “Oh and I can help if you want-”

“I don’t!” Usopp snapped, then he sighed again. “Look, we all have our specialties…You cook. I pick locks and disarm traps. Law does magic. Zoro fights. Nami does navigation.”

The other three looked at each other and shrugged.

“I’d never tell you how to cook something, ever!” Usopp cried out. “So please, let me do my job!”

The elf cook stared at Usopp, who huffed and sighed before leaning back and groaning.

“...Right, I’ll do that then,” Sanji said and looked down, away from Usopp’s gaze.

After calming down, Usopp grabbed his pack and directed everyone to where the iron barred doorway was. He took out a file from his lock-pick kit and filed the bars to break them, eventually creating a large enough gap for everyone to pass through. Zoro still struggled a little and ended up ripping out a bar in frustration.

They walked further inside the new room. Running along the sides were shelves filled with wooden chests. At this, Nami’s eyes widened.

“Jackpot! The Treasure Room!” She squealed.

“I’m right, all those traps were designed to protect it,” Usopp said as he kneeled down to inspect the various chests.

“Maybe there’s still money in some of these…” Nami rubbed her hands together.

“Considering this is still the second floor, they’re probably all empty. Ransacked even.” Law yawned and watched as Nami opened a chest and wailed at its emptiness.

While Nami lamented the lack of treasure, Usopp continued to inspect the chests. He tapped at one on the bottom level and found it bolted down. He sighed, “...I should probably check inside this one.” Then he felt a presence behind him and he turned to see Sanji right by his face. Usopp lurched.

“Give me space!” Usopp shouted, holding up one hand. Sanji blinked and walked further back, then went to join the other three.

“...Is he always this snippy?” Law asked. From what he remembered of Usopp before he inserted himself into Luffy’s party, the Half-foot was never very confrontational.

Zoro sighed, “He knows if he screws up, we’re dead. He’s just stressed out.”

“Hm.” Sanji tilted his head.

There was a sharp click and Usopp stood up. “It’s open,” he announced. Beaming, Sanji walked back to where he was.

“Great! How’re we getting the oil out?” Sanji leaned in, staring at the mechanism inside the chest.

“I’ve got no idea,” Usopp sighed. “That looks like the spout and that looks like the trigger,” He said as he pointed to them.

“Mmhm,” Sanji hummed and grabbed his pot. “Okay, I’ll hold the pot and you pull the trigger.”

Usopp lurched. “Are you insane?! Dude, that thing’s filled with boiling oil!”

Sanji grinned. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I am worried!”

Sanji continued to beam at Usopp, who began to wonder about the madness he’d subjected himself to. Clicking his tongue, he turned to the chest and the trigger.

“Fine!” He exhaled, then he shouted and pulled. “You asked for it!”

A pressurised stream of oil shot out from the spout and directly into the pot. Usopp and Sanji ducked to avoid being burned. That was not the case for Zoro as a drop accidentally spilled into the inside of his neck armour.

“HOT- HOT!” Zoro yelped and clutched at his armour, before falling backwards. Nami and Law watched as he writhed on the ground.

Usopp sighed, “And that’s what I was worried about…” He shook his head. “You okay S- Huh?!”

The elf cook had one thumb half inside the pot of boiling oil.

“Oi, oi! Your thumb!”

Sanji nodded as he observed the oil. “180 degrees. Perfect for deep-frying.” Then he put the pot on the ground.

Nami stared. “He didn’t feel that? It’s like he’s a dwarf, not an elf.”

Law wondered. “Hmmm.”

Placing his thumb in his mouth, Sanji sucked it gently and carefully tasted the oil on it. “That smell…that taste…This is olive oil!”

“You’re kidding!” Usopp’s eyes widened.

Sanji chuckled, “There used to be lots of olive trees here! And olive oil’s relatively easy to make. It’s not unthinkable that someone would use it in a trap.”

Usopp looked at the pot with its clear liquid and tilted his head. “...I guess so.”

“Now we can deep-fry stuff!” Sanji beamed, then beamed some more. “Oh! We can use that giant blade from the ceiling trap to chop the big bat!”

“Hold on!” Usopp yelped. “We don’t know if that trap will react like last time-”

Sanji slammed the big bat in front of Usopp and stood with his hands on his hips. “Since I’m no good with traps, you’ll be cutting this meat.”

Staring at the headless big bat before him, Usopp swallowed and looked up at Sanji. “Do I really have to?”

Sanji huffed. “Cooking’s my specialty, so you have to do as I say now.” At this, he grinned. “Those are the terms we agreed to.”

Usopp stared blankly at the elf, who was pointing at him. “...I never agreed to that.” When he saw that Sanji just ignored him, Usopp sighed and dragged the big bat towards the trap room.

Clang!

The blade came down like judgement upon the big bat, bisecting it in half. Usopp watched as it slowly rose up, back into the ceiling.

Setting down his pack, he carefully walked towards the big bat and adjusted its position. Then he went back to where the trigger tile was and stepped on it again.

Clang!

“What am I doing….” Usopp muttered, and he repeated the sequence until the big bat was chopped to reasonable sized chunks.

With help from Zoro, Usopp gathered all the meat and walked to where the makeshift kitchen was, where Sanji was dicing up the remaining mandrakes. Nami focused on checking their maps and routes while Law made medicinal potions.

“Big bat’s all cut up,” Usopp sighed.

“Thanks!” Sanji smiled and grabbed the pot with oil after setting down his knife. He shoved the pot into Usopp’s hands. “Now go heat the oil with that fire trap.”

Usopp felt his body fall forward at the weight of the pot. He swallowed and used all his arm strength to hold the pot up.

“What’s the matter? You got this.”

Usopp swallowed again then slowly turned and walked back towards the trap room.

Nodding, Sanji turned his attention to the meat. “While he’s doing that, I’ll skin the meat and chop it into chunks. Then score it lightly…” He then placed the chunks into a bowl, and looked around at the various spices he had, picking a decent mix. “After that, knead the seasonings in and let it rest on the side.”

Meanwhile, Zoro, Law and Nami took it upon themselves to sort out the bones and skin. Nami and Zoro both stared at Law as he sniffed and caressed the bones. After some struggle, they threw most of the inedible parts out. No one needed to know that Law secretly kept a couple of the bones.

Sanji continued with lunch preparations and took out more of the mandrakes they harvested. “Now to prepare the mandrake kakiage. Remove the arms and legs. If they’re tangled just yank them off.” Then after peeling the mandrake bodies, he set the limbs of the mandrake on his chopping board and chopped them into thin strips.

Sanji smiled. “Looking good. Now the batter.” He went to grab flour and a Basilisk egg from his pack. “Mix the basilisk egg with water and sift in some flour. Mix it again to make damn sure there are no clumps, and then add the chopped mandrake.”

Satisfied with the result, Sanji made his way to the trap room. Usopp was on the ground, having managed to dismantle enough tiles to reveal the complex mechanisms beneath the floor.

“How’s that fire coming?” Sanji asked.

Usopp groaned and sighed, “The hell I know…It’s not like I’ve ever used a trap for cooking before…”

Sanji crouched down and dipped the tips of his chopsticks into the batter bowl, before dropping a little into the oil pot. There was a small sizzle and oil bubbled around the speck of batter. “It’s just about right!” Then using his chopsticks, he gently placed the mandrake kakiages into the pot. Upon entering, they sizzled within the piping hot oil. Sanji squeezed the kakiages gently to ensure their form, before handing the bowl to Usopp.

“Once it’s fried enough and it doesn’t fall apart, flip them over,” Sanji ordered. Then he went back to the makeshift kitchen.

“...Right,” Usopp said, staring at the bowl and the pot.

For a few minutes, Usopp watched the oil sizzle around the nest like kakiage. The smell of batter and herbs swirled in his nose. Eventually, Usopp tentatively lowered the chopsticks into the pot.

“Should be ready right?” He muttered to himself as he tried to pick up a kakiage. Upon doing so, it instantly split in half. “Damn, it wasn’t ready.”

Usopp bit the inside of his cheek and set down the bowl and chopsticks. “Maybe it needs more heat?” He said as he walked towards where the fire mechanism was and placed another brick on top of the satchel covering the hole. At this, the fire surged.

Boom!

“Shit!” Usopp cursed and immediately removed the brick, then he rushed to the pot. He picked up a kakiage, now over-crisped and very burnt. He grumbled then sighed, “Ugh, I blew it!”

“How’s it coming along?” Usopp turned to see Sanji, holding another bowl of batter.

“Horribly!” Usopp huffed and set down the kakiage on the wooden plate he’s holding. “Why can’t you just do this?”

Sanji shrugged. “Fire traps are your specialty.”

Usopp gritted his teeth. “Traps are my specialty, but frying’s a cooking thing!” He snapped. Then he grumbled, “If the heat’s too low, it’s all gooey. But too much heat, it burns.”

Sanji blinked as he watched his Half-foot companion stare at the burnt kakiages. Pursing his lips into a line, he glanced to the side. “...Then I guess it’s not a trap thing afterall.” Then his ears wriggled and he looked at the new kakiage that Usopp put in. They were lovely and golden.

“But hey, this batch looks okay to me!” Sanji crouched down and smiled.

Gulping, Usopp gently lifted one up. It stayed intact. Usopp could hear the crackle of fried starch as he gently squeezed with his chopsticks. Steam rose through the golden layer of batter.

Usopp beamed, “I like the colour of that!”

Briefly, he and Sanji laughed together.

“Come on, let’s plate these and fry the meat!”

With the party now gathered in the treasure room, Sanji served them the fruits of frying labour.

“It’s ready! Mandrake Kakiage and Big Bat Tempura!”

Zoro lifted a big bat tempura from his plate. “Never thought it possible to eat tempura in a dungeon…” He said, observing the fried exterior and the smell of batter and seasoned meat. Then he took a bite and his eye widened. “This tastes just like the ones they make in my hometown!”

Sanji blinked. “Really? Then you’re-”

“I’m from a small village in Wa, it’s an island in the East,” Zoro said as he wolfed down more tempura. “...It’s been a while since I had any kind of Wa food.” He did miss a nice bowl of white rice, soy sauce and fresh fish.

Nami put her hand on Zoro’s knee and gave him a smile, before hesitantly eating a kakiage. “This came out perfect!” She said, eyes wide. Law nodded and ate in small bites.

“The heat was just right,” Sanji smiled. “When you deep-fry, you need to do it quickly at a specific temperature. And that’s how you get it all nice and crispy.” He sighed, “It’s hard to get it right over a campfire.”

“Not that anyone should use a campfire,” Law mumbled and ate another kakiage.

Sanji ignored him and turned to Usopp. “I’ve been on this floor so many times. Can’t believe I never knew about this useful room!”

Usopp coughed as he choked a little of a piece of fried batter. “That’s because it’s dangerous!” He criticised. “Don’t ever come in there without me. Got it? You’ll end up killing yourself!”

“I hear you,” Sanji sighed and bowed his head a little. “And I really can’t match your skill with them, Usopp. It’s pretty amazing. You really know your stuff.”

Usopp blushed at the compliment. “W- Well, of course I do! I’m the Great Usopp, Picklock extraordinaire!” Then he coughed to hide his embarrassment.

Sanji laughed at this before sighing a little. “It’ll be a sad day for me when we all eventually part ways…I won’t be able to work this place on my own.”

Usopp’s eyes widened and he glanced to the side, then he sighed and scratched the back of his head.

“Well I suppose I can teach you a thing or too, once we get some downtime,” He said. “I mean it’s not all that bad.”

“Really?” Sanji perked up.

Usopp sighed, “This could go really badly…” Then he leaned back and forward, before settling down. “But you did teach me something about cooking.” With that, Usopp smiled at Sanji, who laughed.

And so, after finishing lunch and tidying up, Sanji and Usopp went to the trap room. For the rest of the afternoon, Usopp took his time teaching the elf the basics of recognising traps and what each one could do. Zoro smiled and shrugged as he watched his companions, before retiring for a quick nap.

So there you see, dear reader, meat cannot replace bread and bread cannot replace meat. But when working in tandem, they can be very delicious. Such is the case with both meals and people as well.

Dungeon food, ah…Dungeon food.

(The day before, while Robin was at Shakky’s Rip-off Tavern…)

“-We’ll need more than just Marco…”

“It’s a start at least-”

A pink-haired man watched and listened as Nico Robin and Jinbei exited the tavern, picking up the key points of their conversations. The blond man next to him stared, his eyebrows furrowed.

“He’d be able to resurrect Luffy from mush?”

“Koby?”

“...Perhaps let’s not think in that direction-”

The pink-haired man’s eyes widened at this. The dragon rumours are true? Then Luffy-

“Koby! Quit staring at Ms Nico and her ogre companion!” The blond man snapped, slamming down his beer tankard.

Koby lurched and laughed, his face flushed. “Sorry, ‘Meppo!”

His best friend, Helmeppo, huffed. “Honestly, what’s gotten into you?” Then he sighed, “Still obsessing over that Monkey guy?”

“No!” Koby immediately retorted, but at Helmeppo’s raised eyebrow, he faltered. “...Yes”

His friend groaned.

“B- But!” Koby held his pointer finger up. “You’ve heard the rumours. Monkey Luffy, most likely adventurer to conquer the dungeon, got eaten by a dragon-”

“So what? Adventurers get eaten and die all the time in there,” Helmeppo huffed and took a swig of his beer. “And clerics like me go in, resurrect them and get paid. So don’t-”

“We need to go save him!” Koby declared, his face blushing a violent shade of pink that almost matched his hair.

Helmeppo spluttered into his tankard and wiped his mouth. “Are you insane?!” He hissed. Silent, Koby stared at him with a determined look in his hazel eyes, his face clearly still blushing.

He groaned as he watched his best friend sulk and pout. “That’s not going to work, idiot. We’re not going into a dungeon to save your childhood crush-”

“Pfff- What do you mean?” Koby laughed, his smile awkward. “I don-”

“It’s been what…nearly 2 decades since you actually spoke to him?” Helmeppo huffed. “And it’s not like he ever spoke to you again after he saved us both from ghosts…”

Koby rolled his eyes. “You’re just mad he kicked your ass. Man, you were a mean eleven year old.”

Helmeppo stared at Koby, who immediately backtracked. “I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine,” He sighed as he watched Koby panic. “I know you’ve forgiven me.” Helmeppo looked down at his tankard. “I’m just worried. Dungeon crawling’s dangerous business, Koby. You’ve not been down there even once.”

“I know, it’s just-”

“And you’re going to do it on a whim to save your childhood crush, who probably doesn’t even remember you!” Helmeppo cried out, then he sighed. “Look, you need to be more practical about this.”

Koby stared at his friend’s furrowed brows, slight beer mustache and frazzled blond hair, before staring at his own hands. He bit his button lip and let out a small huff.

“...I’m still going."

Helmeppo’s teal blue eyes widened. “Seriously.”

Koby grumbled. “Sure! I’ve got no experience whatsoever but saving someone’s the right thing to do!” He said, both hands on the table and leaning in towards Helmeppo, unaware that his friend blushed at the close proximity between their faces. Then Koby looked down and twiddled his thumbs. “And Chief Garp must be devastated…I mean you know since-”

“Yeah, I know,” Helmeppo sighed.

There was a moment of silence between them, then Koby spoke.

“You don’t have to come with me, if you don’t want-”

“Of course I’m going, you pink-haired fool!” Helmeppo snapped.

Koby’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Really.” Helmeppo rolled his eyes. “Like I said, I have more experience than you with this.” It’s not a whole lot, but it would have to do. “And you’ll need a magic user, like me.”

At this, Koby beamed, then rushed to hug his best friend. Helmeppo yelped at the sudden contact and blushed at the plethora of thank yous that spilled from Koby’s mouth afterwards. It would be nice if a hug like this could last forever, but of course, it wouldn’t. Helmeppo himself made sure of that as he gently shoved Koby off of him.

“Okay, okay, sit down,” He said. “Here’s what we need to do…”