Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sentry cups her face with delicacy, trailing his fingers on her sweaty cheek. His eyes were so big they could swallow her.

“Did you miss me, darling?” he whispers to her in a seductive voice.

She doesn’t want to show him her feelings, because they’re too much to hold in her small heart.

“Maybe,” is all she says.

That’s when he decides to kiss her, it's mouth and tongue deep, wet sounds, to the point where her breath is held for more than ten minutes—

“Gosh, you’re still writing fanfics?!”

Yelena shuts her laptop down faster than she ever had in her life, not even during life threatening missions. Ava is standing outside of her door, arms crossed and a big smirk on her face. She feels hers come in all shades of red, suddenly dizzy.

“I’m not! I was just checking—huh—mission reports,” she darts her eyes away, trying to hold it together.

Ava doesn’t buy it. She comes closer in the room. “Seriously Yelena, Kate shouldn’t have told you about the concept of fanfiction, it’s all you do now.”

“I am not doing just that!” she defends herself louder, standing up but she doesn’t know what to do with her hands or where to go. Ava is still smiling at her. She paces a little bit before dropping on her bed, in surrender. “Okay, maybe I was.”

“Ah!” Ava jolts with joy, coming to sit next to her. “There you go, sweetie.”

“Don’t call me that,” Yelena sighs but she isn’t listening to her.

“You’re doing great, for real. Just an advice, normal people don't usually know how to mimic handwritings.”

“How did you read my last chapter?” Yelena exclaims in panic.

“Don’t worry, breath, your username is Bishoptire7, I’ve seen more discreet in my life. Also, even if you made your heroin a brunette, I still know this is just you self-inserting yourself.”

“That’s not true,” she pouts but thinks about it for a second. “It’s just…it’s weird if the main leads are both blonde don’t you think so?”

“So, you agree this is you self-inserting yourself as Sentry’s romantic lead.”

“Okay, this conversation is over!”

*

Bob doesn’t get a lot of free time.

That’s what happens when you can fly and eliminate threats during lunch breaks. Yet, he always had more coming at him.

When he got free time, he would just lay down on the rooftop, but not to look at the sky. He just wants some privacy, as in reading whatever have been posted that day about him.

“You’ve read the new chapter?” Joaquin asks, landing swiftly next to him and he was so focused on whatever was happening in the new update that his senses were shut off. “Jesus!” he scrambles to his legs, like a teen caught up doing naughty things in his room. “I guess you had,” Joaquin tells him with a big smug and nodding his head with satisfaction. “I just…I was just checking.” He tries to explain, looking at his feet as if it was the most interesting thing ever.

“Man, you’re all blushing and laughing alone! To be honest, I would too, this person is really good at writing.”

Since the day Joaquin showed him what people wrote about him in fictions online, he couldn’t stop reading it, especially those of Bishoptire7. That name rings a bell, but he can’t pin it out. “You know, it feels like she really knows you.”

Bob can’t help but agree. Most of the fanfictions would be between Sentry and some girl he saved, and they fell in love. This one? Very different, very intimate. As if the writer spent time looking and deciphering him. Walker had told him it could be some reporter who followed him everywhere during his missions. It wouldn’t be farfetched.

Yet, he is growing fond of Bishoptire7 fanfics, even more when his mind couldn’t stop picturing a certain blond girl being the one he kissed so dearly, he would shut himself down out of shame and guilt.

*

The bridge is crowded. Thankfully, the rest of the Thunderbolts managed to clear most of the civilians out of the way, except for the woman standing on top of a van, holding a handbag in her hands, hair falling onto her face.

“Shona, hey!” Sentry calls out to her with a soft voice. “How have you been since the last time?”

Yelena sends him a weirded-out stare. What the hell? He looks at her innocently, shrugging his shoulders. “Just trying to be polite,” he whispers in his defence.

“Don’t act all nice,” Shona spits at him. “You put my husband in jail. How do you expect me to be?”

“She isn’t wrong.” Yelena jokes out, leaning onto the railing of the bridge, her gun still in her hand.

“Well, he—he was a criminal, Ms.”

“How do I feed my children, all alone?” she keeps shouting angrily. “Who will take care of them? Not you, for sure!”

“Okay but do you really need to bomb a whole bridge though?” Yelena asks tiredly, her hips are killing her since her last fight, and she maybe should have listened to Ava when she advised her to see a doctor.

Shona opens her mouth to answer, closes it in frustration before saying “It’s a way to attract your attention! Now, give me the money you owe my family, before this entire bridge collapses and you die with me.”

She is desperate. Yelena can understand that. But putting people’s life in danger is certainly not the way out. She tries to get on her feet again but winces in pain. Wrong move. Sentry notices it. “You alright?” he’s worried. She tries to put on a neutral face but every step she makes forward is like a lightning bolt through her muscles. “Yeah— Let’s get over with it.”

“Yelena, did you hurt yourself?” Sentry asks again, more insistent, more close to her. Oh. Oh. She might pass out just by hearing his worried, soothing voice that makes her want to crawl out and cry and tell him that yes, yes, she hurts and sometimes she really hates their job and gosh she is so jealous of his super healing powers.

“I’m fine I said… you shouldn’t even care that much about your super spy colleague.” Oops. Pain is making her a little too much bitter.

“You know we’re not just colleagues.”

That has the audacity to make her laugh out loud. “Oh, so what are we now?” she laughs, turning her head to face him for the first time that day.

“Hm, I don’t know, we’re more like a team?” he tries out, a little bit frustrated. “Or—or friends.”

Her brain stops working. He thinks they’re… friends? Well, friends are people who share moments. They usually go grab a milkshake or a burger after their missions, but most of the time, the rest of the team is there too and it’s not like it’s just the two of them. Okay, sometimes, it’s just the two of them and he takes her flying on top of a building so she can breathe after meeting too many people on the streets or saving civilians who can be really insensitive when scared for their life, which is okay, but it gets through your mind. Yet, she doesn’t even know his real name! He knows hers though. Oh my god, why is he always making things this complicated?

“Yo, I’m still here!” Shona screams at them, pointing her fingers at herself in outrage.

Right. The mission. The bomb. Whatever. Sentry can deal with it in seconds. Actually, sometimes, she feels like he takes all his time before doing what he’s got to do just to show off his skills. Like stopping the bomb seconds before it drops or explodes. Then smiling at her, waving his blond hair and golden aura around his body. It never fails to make her speechless and brainless.

She points at her shoulder and shoots. The woman screams in pain, panics and starts falling over, but Sentry is already catching her between his strong arms and getting the bag away from her hands. There. City saved. She pulls her gun back, sends a last melancholic stare at the bridge before leaving. She wants to move slowly (because her hips and everything) but she doesn’t want him to catch her. Unfortunately for her, she isn’t allowed cool disappearing scenes. She doesn’t even react when he lands in front of her, worry on his eyes.

“Where are you going?” he asks, panicked.

“Home.”

“But you’re hurt.”

“Maybe,” she only says in a silent breath. Again, she wants to tear her eyes from him but…he’s just too stunning. She’s stunned. Like always when he is around. That’s not professional. She tries to hold back tears. “Maybe we should stop working together.”

Sentry is taken aback. “What—? No!”

She closes her eyes. “I know we make a good team and you’re really great at your job, I am too,” Opens them, sorrowful. “But we keep bantering and getting distracted around our target while we should be focused on saving people.”

“We always save them,” he counteracts.

“Okay and if one day, we aren’t able to?”

“That won’t happen.”

“Can’t take the risk.”

She feels like the more she stays here, the more she is at risk of renouncing at her decision. It’s the first time she sees him getting really sad, betrayed. It makes her chest tightens, and her hip pain go louder. Sentry, always strong and fierce and stoic. “I’m sorry.”

“Did—Did I do something wrong?” he asks out of blue, eyes fluttering and his voice low, on the point of breaking.

“No, this isn’t you, I told you, it’s—it’s us. We can’t stay together because…” Because you can’t be mine and I can’t be yours. Because you are perfect and I am a defective black widow. Because you deserve someone that would love you and not destroy you. “Oh my god, stop asking questions and let me go back home!”

She walks fast past him. He doesn’t stop her this time. Deep inside, she wishes he had called her name.

*

Bob feels miserable. So miserable. He called Valentina. She didn’t receive Yelena’s demission for now, or anything. He then proceeded to call every hour that followed, until she blocked his number, then he called Mel. “Look, Sentry, Bob… If we have any news from the White Widow, you’ll be the first one informed. Okay? Get some rest.”

He can’t get any rest. Life feels dull and sad and black and white. No, not white. White is the colour of her suit, and he won’t be able to see it anymore. He turns his other side on the bed, his cries muffled by his pillow. Rolls on his back. How long has it been? It feels like days have passed since that conversation. The roof is too low, yet unreachable. Just like her. He should have told her to stay. He should have followed her.

Since he met her the first time in the field, it felt much lighter. He felt seen, appreciated, understood, but also, he wanted and still wants to be there for her, to hold her hand and comfort her. They’re not too different from one another, and only a broken soul can understand another broken soul.

Why did he always make things worse?

He opens his phone. He doesn’t usually scroll down. His finger goes over the fanfiction website. He wants to read about her, about them. Ease the ache in his heart. Forget about reality. Delve into dreams and fantasies. His heart almost stops when he sees the fic has been updated with a new chapter.

*

Helen starts walking away from him. Sentry floats just above her.

“Wait, sweetheart!”

She turns to face him. “Hi,” she says shyly.

“I heard you were sick today. I came to help you.”

“You don’t need to cuddle me, Sentry,” she answers playfully. “Just tired, that’s it.”

“Oh, but I need to cuddle you,” he insists with a smile, radiating with light. “Let me get you home.”

She happily agrees, and her brunette hair falls on her face as they take off. Her stomach flutters a little bit as they get higher, people seem like small ants the more they get far from the ground. “Do you always take people on your back?”

“Only you, sweetie.”

*

She’s standing at the top of a high building, facing the city below her feet, breathing the sunset calming air. Horns are singing in the streets, people coming home. No threat that day. She rested a lot, on Ava’s orders (she almost strapped her to her bed.) She ended up writing to wind up her mind. Writing and crying because she’s not allowed to desire the Sentry that way. She isn’t a fan he rescued, she’s his colleague, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. They can’t be friends. Not with her background, not with his defining heroic aura. She tried but she’ll never be enough for him.

Ruffling and shuffling around. She tries not to startle when she hears him landing just behind her, wipes quietly her tears.

“Sentry,” she says calmly.

“Hi.”

She can feel him just behind her, warm and safe. Her body can’t resist the tentation to lean behind, until she carefully hits his chest with her back, feeling completely at ease, as he slowly wraps his arms around her. Just there. Letting herself be carried, she closes her eyes, the sun blinding in the horizon.

“It’s okay,” she tells him before he asks her anything. “I’ve taken pain meds and other things.”

He nods. They just stay quiet like that for a moment. “I don’t usually get the chance to leave first,” she starts talking, feeling the need to fill up the blank so he won’t question their last conversation. “You always fly off first. No walking together to the HQ or anything. Even when we end up sharing a meal together, which is fine because I get to spend more time with you, you just—you just take-off when we’re done and leave, out of reach, out of sigh.”

“You wanted me to feel the taste of my own medicine?” he chuckles with a raspy voice that shakes her.

“Yeah,” she jokes, leaning more into his embrace. “It’s not like you could get any back pain after missions anyway…” …Sentry? But it doesn’t feel right to call him Sentry. “Hey, tell me. What’s your real name?”

She expects him to tell her it’s a secret he can’t disclose, and she’s ready to retorque that he knows hers. Instead, he “I’m Bob.”

Oh. She opens her eyes. Bob. Such a cute name. Bob. Three letters. “Bob,” she says, feeling the taste on her tongue. The more she thinks about it, the more he feels like a Bob. Not Sentry. Just Bob. “I like it.”

She turns to face him. He’s stupidly smiling. Her hands find their way to his torso, the suit rigid under her fingers. His arms are on her hips. “Bob,” she says again, giggly. “Yes, that would be me.” They laugh. She thinks of her fanfiction. Oh, that was even better that anything she wrote, anything she dreamt of. Just them too. So close. So close. Wait, they’re really close. His face looming over hers, he looks at her lips, open, ready to cross that gap. She’s breathless. She has thought so much about this moment, it has started eating her brain. And yet…

She backs off by reflex, too overwhelmed by her feelings, ending abruptly the moment. Sentry, Bob, he retreats, his hands still on her. Sun is down, night starts crawling out in the wide sky. “Sorry,” he mutters.

Whatever she did, she can’t rewind. It’s over. Shit.

Why did she back off?!

Chapter Text

“Helen, why don’t you kiss me anymore?”

“I’m sorry Sentry, but you have to show me your real self,” she said to him, lights of the city below shining purple and blue in the night.

“I can’t, you know I can’t reveal my secret superhero identity!”

“Do you love me or not?” she insisted, smiling. “I want to date a guy I know, not just a superhero. I need to love the real man inside.” Her hand was on his chest, his suit rigid under her fingers.

“Fine. I’ll show you my place,” he conceded with such a soft voice, it melted her heart.

*

“I’m so mad!” Ava scolds her. “Why aren’t Sentry and Helen kissing anymore? Are they breaking up?”

Yelena’s face is buried under a pillow. “I feel like their relationship won’t matter as much if they don’t really know each other.” She sits up, a resigned look on her face. “He told me his real name.” Ava comes to sit next to her, focused. “Then he tried to kiss me and—I backed up.”

“Yelenaaaa, seriously?”

“I don’t know!” she pouted, bringing her knees to her chest. “I just…I want to know who he is, I want to know he’s a real person that is reachable, that won’t just disappear into the night, flying away. It’s dumb but this is impossible. All I have are fanfics.” She drops into the bed again desperate and hopelessly in love. Ava pouts.

“It’s not dumb. Love can be very scary. Like you said, fanfic is supposed to help you escape reality, so have fun. Write everything you want to live, let it out! And then, I need you to have a serious talk with your golden boy.”

“Ava…thank you.”

She smiles at her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “That’s why we’re friends. By the way, he melts your heart?”

“Yes, he dooeesssss…” she screams in her pillow, giggling and kicking her feet, which makes Ava laugh so loudly at that sigh that her tummy hurts.

*

Helen helped him put out his golden suit. Locking her eyes with his deep-blue irises, she peeled the rigid suit out of his shoulders, arms, revealing the muscles hidden. She ruffled his blond hair in her hand.

“There you go,” he whispered, sending goosebumps to her body. She wished she could trace her fingers on his arms. She turned to let him change into normal clothing and explored the room.

“Waw, I really thought someone like you would live in a palace or some high-tech place.”

“Maybe I have a palace. But this is the place I wanted to show you. My cosy little home.”

*

“She really thinks your real hair is blonde,” Joaquin notices with a grin.

He’s not totally focused with his friend. What did he do wrong? He shouldn’t have forced himself on her like that. Maybe…Maybe revealing his name was his cue to finally make things right. Reveal who he really is. How can he expect something to go between them if they keep acting like colleagues? Meeting after missions, on rooftops. Maybe that’s what he needs to do. Be real with her. Invite her to a date. Like in the fanfic.

They were sharing chips in his living room. “But she can’t know it’s a dye or the manifestation of your powers, depending on your mood, you know… Hey, are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, sorry, I’m a bit out of it tonight.”

“Is it because of Yelena?”

“What? What’s with Yelena?”

“I don’t know.”

If he wants a chance with her, he’ll need help. He can’t keep it all for himself.  “Jo, I think I’m in love with Helen.”

“Huh… you mean Yelena?”

What? What, yeah, right, why did he say Helen?! “Right, Yelena, sorry, their names are similar and wait, how did you know about her?!”

“Seriously man? I thought you were already dating!”

“Dating? Oh my god, was it that obvious?”

“Eye piercing.”

The fanfic is starting to attract controversies from fans. Some find it ridiculous that anyone would refuse to kiss the Sentry just because they don’t know him without the costume, some others thought it was honourable to care about the heart before the fame. Both takes are flattering, in a way, he’ll admit that. But that reminds him of that conversation he had with her.

“She asked me about my name.”

Joaquin straightens up, locked in. “You told her?”

“Yes,” he confessed, eyes pinned on something far in the horizon, his brain thinking about something a little farfetched.

“What are you thinking about, man?”

“Hm, it’s just—” he breathes. “What if it was Yelena knows the fanfic writer?”

Time stills for a moment. Electronics shut down. Maybe just in his mind because TV is still running. Then Joaquin starts laughing. “Man, what are you even talking about? Do you think a black widow has the time to deal with these distractions? I like the idea though but sorry it just doesn’t make any sense.”

“Probably.”

*

She’s finishing the bad guys in that cold warehouse. Why do villains always choose the least heat-isolated places to have their meetings? She throws another leg kick. The man falls onto the ground, nose dripping with blood.

That’s the moment Sentry chooses to drop next to her gracefully, as always, his hair slicked back but shining, and his stupid face so beautiful she must remind herself there’s a henchman trying to reach for his gun on her left. Sentry (Bob) doesn’t let her bother herself, pushing the gun away with telekinesis.

“Aw, man, that’s cheating!” the henchman complains.

They ignore him.

“You’re coming to help me when I’m already done? Very show-off.”

“I was looking out for you, actually,” he confesses with a smug smile. “We didn’t have time to talk since last time.”

She tries to check something on her pad, to distract herself from looking at him and having her heart explode in her chest from remembering all that happened.

“Yeah, Val kept burying with so many missions.” Okay, what did she want to check in the pad? The mission order! Okay, the mission order and shit, Bob was just behind her, warm and his presence overwhelming. “I—I just need to get done with this and we can talk if you want.”

What can she even tell him? Sorry for backing off from the kiss? Or does he just wanna talk about future assignments. Colleagues stuff. She pinches her lip.

“Huh, okay, right. I don’t want to bother you.”

He backs off. She hates it.

“Bro, can’t you see she’s into you? Don’t chicken out!” the man she just hit in the face earlier say, laying on the ground.

Sentry frowns. She’s confused. His henchman nods along, and the two other guys at her feet seem to agree.

“Never seen someone so shy, just tell her what you need.”

“Okay, shut up,” Yelena commands. “All of you. I’m not into—I mean, it’s none of your business.”

“Then stop flirting in front of us,” another one sighs.

Her face must be so red. Her head is frying up. Sentry doesn’t look any better, looking at his feet awkwardly.

“What did you want to tell me anyways?” she finally asks him. Delaying the conversation would only hurt more.

He clears his throat. “Huh, I wanted to know if you’d be up for hm let’s say a dinner? But like, something more official. Without our suits.”

A…date? Dinner without their suit. He’s finally revealing himself. More of himself. She looks at him for the first time that day and wonders if she’s in heaven.

“Okay.”

“Yes! Now, that’s better,” the nose-bleeding congratulates them, before she knocks him out for good.