Archive of Our Own ^beta

Remus Lupin has two options. As a kid, Remus was completely enraptured by the sound of cars zipping past and the smell of burnt rubber as a car turned a corner too quickly. At fourteen, he decided to steal his dad’s (the Los Angeles Chief of Police) car to enter a local street race. He had twenty dollars he got for his weekly allowance to bet on his win. Thank the gods that was all he had, because he lost miserably, crashing his dad’s car and giving himself scars all over his body. For the last seven years, Remus has continued to race whenever possible, and he’s never been caught, until now.

Shifting back and forth on the uncomfortable metal chair, Remus sighs as he watches his father enter the room. It’s a Wednesday afternoon, and Remus got caught.

“Remus,” Lyall sighs, “What have you gotten yourself into this time?” He rubs the furrow from his eyebrows and sits before his son. “What would your mother think?”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Dad.” Remus began, “You were literally there. Remus shivers at his father’s stern expression and tucks his bottom lip under his teeth.

“Okay, son, let’s put it this way,” Lyall snapped, “As the Chief of Police, do you know how bad it makes me look to have a son involved in Los Angeles’ most common crime?”

Remus scoffs, “Of course! This is just about how you look, that’s what matters! I love doing what I do because I’ve found family in it, one that you never could’ve given me!”

“Here’s the deal,” Lyall proposed. “I don’t want to put my son in jail. You have two options here; you can go to jail, or you can do me a favor. Do you remember Sirius Black, that boy you dated in high school?” Lyall asks, and Remus’ head drops with a sigh.

“I really don’t like where this is going,” Remus complains. Lyall stands behind his son and Remus feels the metal cuffs fall from his wrists, cracking them in circles before standing.

“Find him, Remus, and turn him in to us. He’s the most wanted racer in all of Los Angeles, and he can easily take your place. The department is being generous and giving you until Saturday. That’s three days, Remus,” Lyall calls, guiding Remus out of the station.

Remus speeds the entire way home and finds his race calendar, noting a race downtown in a few hours. Remus huffs as he slips on an itchy sweater and slips out the door, not ready to see Sirius again after all these years. He spends most of the race picking at his nail beds and biting his lip in anticipation.

Remus watches as a slim figure with pale skin and a wide grin jumps out of a sleek black Mustang, the engine still running. Sirius, do you remember me? His eyes flash over the dark curls and icy blue eyes that he could recognize anywhere, an exhale escaping before Remus could tell he had been holding his breath. Sirius skips over to who Remus recognizes as James Potter, their friend from school. He hears them talking and sees James pat Sirius on the back, Remus hearing a quiet “congratulations” to Sirius. Sirius eyes the crowd, smiling and waving to celebrate his win, but his grin drops as he locks eyes with Remus, his hand dropping to his side. I love you.

Sirius turns to James, and Remus overhears a surprised “Remus”. Both Sirius and Remus start walking at the same time, meeting in the middle and exchanging surprised looks.

“Remus?” Sirius finally breathes, looking up at Remus with anxious eyes.

“Hey, Sirius,” Remus says shyly. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Sirius scans Remus from head to toe while Remus fidgets, feeling very self-conscious all of a sudden.

“What are you doing here?” Sirius questions.

“I’m here to see you. I found our old yearbook yesterday and I guess- I guess seeing that star and moon drawing over your signature made me remember a lot,” Remus lies. Sirius pulls his hair back into a bun, his signature “Don’t bother me, I’m very on edge and need my hair to stop overstimulating me” hairstyle.

Sirius squeezes his eyes shut and confesses, “I’ve missed you, Remus. It’s nice to see you again. Would you maybe- um- want to get out of here?” Remus nods silently, slightly too enthusiastically. “We can go up to the rooftop up there,” Sirius points.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Remus smiles. Sirius grabs his arm and pulls him, muttering a quick goodbye to James and a few other people Remus doesn’t recognize.

As they climb the staircase to the roof, Remus remembers the first time they kissed on the stairs that led to their dormitory.

“Have you ever kissed anyone, Remus? It’s not as scary as you think it is” Sirius whispered.

Remus remembers just how much his life changed after that. Sirius, the best friend who wore sunglasses indoors and a leather jacket that was impractical in the Los Angeles heat, kissed him. Remus loved him then, and he has no idea what to do with that now. Sirius pulls open the metal door and stops in place very suddenly.

“There I am,” he says, staring up at the stars.

“I know,” Remus whispers. “Sirius, the brightest star in the sky.” Remus points at the star but stares at Sirius. Sirius turns, the corners of his mouth curving shyly. I love you.

“Do you remember when we were seventeen?” Sirius laughed, “I finished first in a race and you took me to that ice cream shop on the beach named after a Queen song.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Remus responds. “We would always switch cones because you liked my flavor more.” I always hated the mint ice cream you got, but I love you, he didn’t say.

Sirius laughs, and they reminisce as they watch the stars twinkle above them. When it gets late, Remus has Sirius take him home.

“Will I see you tomorrow for my race?” Sirius asks as Remus reaches for the door handle.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Remus responds, shutting the door and walking up his front steps.

“Goodnight, Remus, it was nice to see you again,” Sirius smiles, and Remus nods.

“Goodnight, Sirius.” Remus closes the front door behind him. How am I supposed to go through with this? God, I missed him so badly. I don’t want to lose him again, especially like this. I love him.

The next day, Remus finds Sirius standing next to his car, ready to race, but notices a nervous look in his eyes from afar.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, walking up to Sirius.

“I’m really nervous,” Sirius murmurs “James isn’t here to ride with me today and I really don’t like driving by myself.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Remus whispers. “I’ll ride with you if that’s alright?”

“Really, are you sure? I know you used to hate my driving,” Sirius reasons.

“Of course, are you ready?” Remus asks.

“I’ve never been more ready,” Sirius calls as they slip into the car, Remus buckling his seatbelt and pulling it extra tight.

As the flags wave and Sirius floors the gas pedal, Remus sticks back to his seat. Sirius rolls down the windows, making Remus’ curls even messier than they already are.

“Whooooo!” Sirius yells, a huge, child-like grin on his face. Remus could recognize that grin anywhere. The next few minutes feel like flying, Remus shifting gears for Sirius as he drifts around corners, working as a team, just like they did years ago.

The car crosses the finish line with a screech and Remus turns to Sirius, who’s already frozen in shock from the people crowding around the car and cheering.

“You ready?” Remus asks.

“Always,” Sirius confirms.

Remus slides out of the car door, a wide smile on his face, looking over at Sirius, who has a very adoring look in his eyes. This is everything Remus has ever wanted. Ever since his first race, he has had a family here, he has Sirius. I have Sirius.

Sirius grabs his hand and asks, “Rooftop?” and he nods, letting himself be led.

Sirius guides Remus up to the roof and they stand next to the edge. Arms propped up on the concrete wall, they stare at the view of Friday traffic and a beautiful sunset.

“Thank you for racing with me tonight,” Sirius breathed.

“I never was able to resist you, was I? You’re the one who got me started racing in the first place. Y’know I still race, right?” Remus admits. “It reminds me of you. I always imagine you there,” he sighs. Sirius steps closer to Remus, tilting his head up to propose a kiss. Remus starts to lean down, never able to resist Sirius. Wait, wait, wait, not like this!

“Wait-” Remus blurted, causing Sirius to pull back, eyes wide, “I have something I need to tell you, Sirius”.

Sirius steps back and asks wearily, “What is it?”

“I’m not here just to see you. There’s more reason to it than that,” Remus explains. “I got caught, okay?” Sirius looks at him, extremely confused, so he continues, “I was caught racing. My dad didn’t want to put me in jail so he gave me another option.” He looks at Sirius, extremely guilty, “I’m supposed to turn you in, in my place”.

“What?” Sirius gasps, tripping backward a bit, his arm caught by Remus.

“Wait- Sirius,” Remus pleaded, eyebrows furrowed and tears forming in his eyes, “I’m not turning you in. I won’t do it, I promise. I hate that I lied to you. I finally have you back, but I can’t sit here and have you, knowing that this is how.”

Sirius stands still, completely frozen in shock as Remus begins to walk away. When Remus reaches the metal door, he turns around and Sirius sees the tears streaming down his face.

“I really am sorry, Sirius. I won’t turn you in. I won’t turn you in because I love you. I’m sorry I love you, and I’m sorry I’m telling you like this. I realize how messed up this is. I’m going to turn myself in,” Remus pants, wiping tears from his cheeks.

“Remus,” Sirius calls, and Remus turns back around, “please stop, just wait.” Sirius groans and walks slowly over to Remus, and Remus feels a chill as Sirius’ silver jewelry slides up his arm. “Don’t leave me again. Four years ago, I told you that I loved you, and you ran from me. Don’t run from me again the moment I finally get to hear you say it back,” Sirius whispers.

“You’re not mad at me?” Remus gasps out. He feels cold fingers wipe tears from his face and cradle his cheek.

“I don’t think I was ever able to resist you either, Remus,” Sirius laughs, smoothing the line between Remus’ eyebrows with his thumb.

“I do love you, y’know?” Remus questions.

“You love me, really?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, I do,” Remus confirms.

Remus melts as Sirius steps into his space again, craning his neck and whispering, “Then don’t run from me again”.

Remus scoffs, “Wouldn’t dream of it”. He leans down and kisses Sirius, just as nervous as he was at sixteen.

Sirius pulls back with a smile, “I love you, too.”

They both slide back against the concrete wall and watch the sky until the sun falls below the horizon. Once the sky is dark, they creep back down the stairs and drive back to Sirius’ house, falling asleep the moment their heads hit a pillow.

The next morning, they wake up and stumble to the nearest gas station, grabbing energy drinks and a toy car Sirius saw on the front counter. The bell dings as they exit and they start walking towards Sirius’ house again, still blinking sleep from their eyes.

“Hey, Remus,” Sirius laughs, “look at this!” He presses a button on the side of the toy car and it makes revving noises. Sirius giggles like a child and Remus looks at him fondly. A police car drives by them, presumably doing their regular patrol.

“You are absolutely ridiculous,” Remus starts, before hearing sirens. They both turn and watch as the police car starts driving towards them, and they take off running, Sirius dropping the toy car on the concrete. Remus grabs Sirius’ hand and turns a sharp corner, trying to find his way back to Sirius’ house.

“Stop!” Lyall calls over the intercom, pulling up in front of them and separating Remus from Sirius. Remus keeps running, thinking Sirius is right behind him, but sees him trying to dodge the police car. I can make it, I can get him. Remus turns the corner and jumps into the black car, swerving around the block back to where Sirius stopped running. He slams on the brakes next to the police car and sees Sirius being pushed against it by his father.

“Sirius, come on!” Remus yells.

Sirius pushes his elbow back into Lyall’s stomach, making him hunch over. He runs around the car and slides into the passenger seat.

“Are you okay?” Remus asks, grabbing Sirius’ jaw, turning his face to examine him, and completely disregarding his father running up to the car.

“I swear, Remus, drive!” Sirius yells, slapping his hand away, “This is so not the time!”

Remus slams on the gas and the smell of burnt rubber floods his senses, taking him back to his first race. Sorry, Dad!!

“Remus John Lupin, you get back here this instant!” Lyall calls, running behind the car until they turn onto the highway. Sirius laughs hysterically, doubling over in his seat.

“God, Remus, you should’ve seen your face! Absolutely priceless. That’ll be engraved into my mind forever”. Remus scoffs and Sirius continues, “It looked exactly like the face you gave me when I told you I loved you for the first time, except I’m very glad you ran from me this time!”

Hours later, Remus drives up onto the beach, shaking Sirius awake. The sun is setting and it reflects beautiful lines onto Sirius’ skin. Sirius groans at the light and Remus admires him as he rubs his eyes.

“Look where we are,” Remus whispers as Sirius sits up. Sirius peers around and the annoyance drains from his face.

“The beach-” Sirius acknowledges as he recognizes the beach. “Remus! You did not! Oh my God!” He jumps excitedly out of the car, slamming the door behind him. He jogs down into the sand, Remus following close behind until they meet a sign that reads, “Killer Cream”. Sirius screeches like a girl, “Remus! I love you! I love you! I love you! You have no idea how much I’ve been craving this!”

“Yes I did, Remus confirmed, because you told me two days ago,” Remus laughs.

“So not my point here,” Sirius retorts.

“My sincerest apologies, I love you, too. Let’s go get some,” Remus adds.

Sirius skips down the sand into the shop, and Remus follows behind, seeing the same Sirius he fell in love with all those years ago. They sit down at a booth after ordering ice cream cones. Remus takes his phone out of his pocket and snaps a photo of a smiling Sirius, sitting contently with the cone in his hand.

“Two criminals on the run, taking a pit stop at an ice cream shop on the beach,” Sirius giggles. You’re so beautiful when you laugh.

“Priorities!” Remus adds, “Can I try yours?”

“Only if I can try yours,” Sirius proposes.

They both laugh and exchange cones, Sirius’ eyes going wide when he tries it. Remus raises an eyebrow in question.

“Remus, this is so good!” Sirius exclaims, “Would you maybe want to switch?” Sirius gives him those pleading eyes, and who is he to say no? I love you.

“Sure,” Remus smiles, taking another lick of the disgusting mint ice cream Sirius always picks. Sirius has no idea Remus hates it, because he happily takes it every time Sirius prefers the one Remus got. If Remus has to choose, he will always pick Sirius. This, right here, right now, Sirius in front of him, giggling like a child, is his option three.