Chapter Text
Jax couldn’t quite place when his interest in Pomni was piqued. Had it been when she had first come into the circus? She had knocked him down, before looking at him with wide multicolored eyes that seemed to draw him in before he snapped himself back into reality to question where she came from. He had been intrigued once it was confirmed she was a new member of their cast. It had been a while since they had gotten someone new in. He just wanted to gather info before she was told by the others to keep secrets from him. He didn’t want to keep an eye on her for any reason. Even if he did, he failed horribly once he saw what Kaufmo had become. The multi colored eyes locked on him, the black shape that’s not similar to the individual that had once been but, but not unfamiliar at all. No, for him it was too familiar. Even if part of him wanted to grab Pomni and take her with him, the sight of abstraction was too much. He wasn’t in his body after that - running on auto pilot to get through the rest of the day.
Maybe his interest in Pomni came after she had yelled at him for throwing her out of a moving semi-truck. Sure, he had been yelled at for his actions many times before. But the way that Pomni bit out her protest to him using her as a bridge was different from Ragatha’s scolding. When the ragdoll berated him, it felt almost like a babysitter charged with a bratty child. Sure - he’s the youngest member of the circus and was technically a teenager when he entered - but he’s lived in this hellscape for 4 years. He’s a 22 year old man, not a 17 almost 18 year old teenager. And Pomni yells at him like it. She doesn’t sugar her words with a fake cheer.
Perhaps it had been after the haunted mansion. After being dragged into the more terrifying section with the least sane member, Jax was sure Pomni would be freaking out and crying about it. She’s been traumatized by most everything that’s happened to her so far - she’s shaping up to fill in the anxious archetype, perhaps a source for some humor but not too much. Don’t want her to abstract before he can get his fun in with her. Instead of the whimpering crying mess he expected to encounter, he spoke to a calm Pomni that didn’t have any smack to talk about the crazy king.
By the time they were in the fast food hellscape that felt like something he had been pushing down for longer than he cares to think about, he’s attached. His attachment isn’t like Ragatha’s with her sugar sweet words and constant check-ins. It isn’t like Zooble’s occasionally soft-spoken words that didn’t match up with their usual gruff off-putting demeanor. No, Jax’s attachment was something less obvious, but extremely meaningful to the lavender hare. It’s eyes constantly being on her, taking notice of every small thing from her expressive face to her nervous pulling at the pompoms decorating her outfit. It’s his poking and prodding at her body to see all of what it can do. It’s his ears constantly being trained to her voice, the small changes in her tones from the various stimuli that the circus provides.
His attachment is meaningful to him that, after being mentally tortured by the too familiar acts of working fast food, he has to see her. Check, ensure that she’s not having a worse time than he is. He had seen the NPC from the candy adventure come in, and her reaction - flustered and almost flirting - had made him want to pulverize the candy alligator until there’s nothing remaining but a puddle of chunky syrup where he stands. Jax knew he couldn’t let that show. Although he couldn’t really see Caine punishing them, there’s a chance that the AI could come up with something absolutely horrifying quite easily for him. So, he holds back on ripping gummy guy’s limbs off with his teeth. Some of his discomfort fades when he sees the candy NPCs leaving out the drive thru window, but not entirely. He decides to check in on Pomni then, and instead comes face-to-face with Gangle and her annoyingly plastic cheerful mask. Oh, how he wishes he could destroy it just like her porcelain ones. She sends him to training, away from Pomni, and Jax’s thoughts spiral. Anxiety floods his system from many sources. His body being manhandled, the uncertainty of being observed, the fact that he was yanked away from checking on Pomni, the fact that Pomni was flirting with the gummy guy, and now he can’t hear Pomni-
When Jax is pushed out by the massive gloved hands and pat on the head, he can hear Pomni’s voice as she speaks with - is that the Gloink Queen? - doesn’t matter. He can hear Pomni, she sounds a little disturbed under her polite tone, but she’s not screaming in pain so it’s fine. At least Gangle’s sanity seems to be breaking with their unbreakable happy mask. He might take more pleasure in that if he didn’t want to throw himself into oncoming traffic. At least the sudden change to dinner rush distracts her enough for him to check in on Pomni, finally.
Of course, Pomni puts up a mask. He’s too mentally exhausted to do the same and just wants to take a moment to find some form of comfort in her presence. Then Gangle’s annoyingly cheerful voice calls out to him, breaking his moment of reprieve. He slips the mask back on. It’s much easier after seeing Pomni. He gives himself one more glance as he gives her a wave and calls out a “Later, Pomni.” It’s enough to get him through the rest of the hellish adventure.
It’s after that adventure that Jax’s writing gets more creative. Before then, he had been taking notes on her. Making sure he would never forget anything. Almost like a journal a field researcher might possess, but instead of a wild animal being observed it’s a digital jester. Some parts are rather lacking, which frustrated him. He knows how her face changes colors when she’s unable to breathe, but he can’t pick out which of those shades is her favorite! He knows his original characterization of her as the anxious one isn’t correct. What she could possibly be instead is the most intriguing part of her. His need to understand her takes over, and he goes to the once-forgotten suggestion box. The fact that Caine had dragged them on something from this recently means it’s likely to happen - most likely sooner rather than later. He’s carrying a stack of papers, a few ideas that came up when thinking of his grand plan to understand Pomni mixed in with the details of his idea. He makes sure to keep Pomni in the dark for his plan - this is about seeing how she reacts and understanding her better.
It’s not a complete failure. He knows her favorite color is red. There would have been many other things discovered if it had been given the time of a full adventure. Technically Pomni was supposed to detonate the bomb he brought in, that was really just a timer designed to look like it would unleash various creepy crawlies on the room it’s in. Then she was set to order the entire menu for a banquet to try and tie together the American and Australian people - allowing him the opportunity to see more of her favorite foods other than salmon and banana pudding. He would then see how she reacts to various stimuli when presented with having to bring peace between her new allies and New Zealand. Oh well, at least there’s violence with how Caine decides to play it. There’s always more time to observe her.
Jax is overly pleased that Pomni lays out next to him during their next quick adventure. It’s a calm moment of peace. Before she came around, he would have been spending this time in solitude. No easy way to make jokes, and everyone clustered together stops him from being able to make jabs that actually give any reactions without Ragatha getting in the way. Of course, the rag doll still gets in the way. The two of them bicker as they always do. Then Pomni questions if he cares what other people think. Pomni. The one who he’s actually interested in. For a split second, he debates on telling her about the archetypes, about how he help people maintain them to stop them from going insane. But then Ragatha’s blue dress catches his eye and he shrugs it off. He’s trying to not think about why when Ragatha brings up the exact reason herself.
Jax wants to kill her.
He turns to look at her, imagining all the ways he can make her stuffing fly with his bare hands and teeth. It’s better than thinking about green skin getting covered by glitchy blackness as eyes start to pop out of the blackened areas. Ragatha starts to stutter over her words when she sees Jax’s deathly glare. The woman quickly scurries away, going the easy route of talking to Kinger about bugs. Jax expects Pomni to follow her, but she stays with him and questions it. Something about that - something about Pomni - makes him unintentionally open up. Not about the answer to her questions. He rants about frustrations built up over years from Ragatha’s actions and outlook. He quickly covers it up by insulting Ragatha, and Pomni quips back at him. It’s exactly what he needs in that moment. She’s exactly what he needs in that moment. To be more precise the smile and quiet giggles she gives him are what he needs.
He doesn’t know exactly why they’re pulled into an intermission - maybe the moon flirted with Caine too hard? - but it’s a disorienting experience. Everything goes black, and then he’s falling with Zooble and Gangle following him into the same hole. Then he’s suddenly crushed by a bowling ball, hearing Pomni’s squeaky toy of a body next to him experience the same fate. Anger comes up in his being at the thought of her being in the same kind of pain from being squished like a bug that he’s experiencing in the moment. Next thing he knows he’s holding hers and Ragatha’s hands - one of them pleasant, the other burning like one massive ant bite covering everywhere that a mitten hand touches his gloved paw. After flashing through some poses in a room with Pomni and Zooble - his back where Pomni had been leaning on him in the first shot still tingles with something exciting long after the last shot - Jax is running. He knows this hallway - it’s the same one that’s plagued his nightmares for the last 3 years. He skips to a stop in front of a door that’s too familiar - then it changes. As he’s opening the door, the interior’s cool tones shift to black and white.
Jax doesn’t know how to feel about whatever that was, but there’s a seat next to Pomni and the promise of booze. He needs a drink after that. He orders a drink - something that comes from memories he’s happy to repress - and can’t control what comes out of his mouth next. Somehow it’s Zooble that drags him out of the spiral that comes with figuring out that Caine can control their brains, even if the floating dentures is lying about that face. Jax returns the favor with a joke to try and distract himself, but when Caine just appears right after Jax had that revelation - something just breaks in him. He pulls on his ears and slams his head on the counter, and when the drink hits him where his nose should be, it’s probably the second best thing about this situation. First one being the ability to sit next to Pomni. Thankfully Jax has the ability to joke at Zooble’s expense - and this time it doesn’t backfire, and with that Jax’s self confidence is back to normal. The booze is also helping with that. Zooble does give him a great way to learn more about Pomni, though. And learn more he does. He commits the facts she gives to memory, determined to write the information in his journal on her later.
Jax can feel the whiskey hitting him when Disappearing Guy comes in. He wants to bite off Zooble’s head for answering Pomni’s initial question, but that would probably cut this adventure short and he likes how his brain isn’t fully attached. Maybe that’s why he actually apologizes to Pomni about the president adventure. He doesn’t give her the real reasons behind why he did it - but she had been so anxious during it that he feels bad about it now. He doesn’t expect her to accept the apology - and when he sees Ragatha’s concerned face down the bar, he has to do something. Pulling her close, having the word “Friendship” come out of his mouth, it’s close to what he desires. But he can’t do that yet. Pomni’s still too anxious about him. Ragatha trying to undercut his claim on Pomni irritates him to no bound - so he pulls out a rather effective bullet for his verbal pistol. He had been thinking about saving Ragatha’s uncharacteristic words for later, but she needs to hurt now for trying to come between him and Pomni.
The adventure starts to backfire on him again when Zooble moves the corn closer to him. He had been able to ignore that it was there with Pomni next to him and it in Kinger’s glass. Having it out next to him - small consistent bulges that remind him of multicolored bulges coming out of black flesh - is too far, though. He jumps up and behind Pomni - not wanting to get too far from her but hating how the corn stares at him. Then, the strangest thing happens where Jax is grateful for Caine.
Not just for changing the adventure. Evil Pomni is a goldmine of information. Caine sees everything - whatever information Evil Pomni gives Jax will have some truth behind it. After his own evil clone approaches, he feels like it will be the inverse of whatever is said.
Then, the worst possible thing could happen. Jax gets put in a stupid fucking maid dress. He feels stupid - he knows he looks stupid - and it’s happening with Pomni right there. A small part of him is jumping up and down like a schoolgirl with a crush over her voting against the dress. The rest of him hates that it’s happening, hates Gangle and Zooble more for doing this to him, hates how short the dress is, hates how there’s a boob window for no reason he doesn’t have boobs, hates how he can feel the eyelashes added to his avatar-
He’s done with everything about this adventure. He uses cartoon logic to make the ball fly into the stands and tries to make the best of a shitty situation by talking with Evil Pomni. At least if he says something stupid to this version nothing will come of it. That is, if he was able to speak to her. He’s not even able to ask her anything important before Zooble makes Caine summon another ball. Jax doesn’t care. He wants to be sitting next to Pomni and making her laugh.
He flops down next to her, annoyed at Ragatha’s presence on her other side. He feels a little bad that his annoyance comes out at Pomni’s question, but tries to shrug it off by joking about Gangle. Of course, Ragatha is there to interrupt him before he can get to the punchline. He throws a barb back, and would have probably done much worse if Pomni didn’t interrupt them. He tries to play it cool with her, winking at her before Ragatha goes off on him in a way that he’s never really seen her do before. It’s actually really interesting to see her character break like that. Then Pomni starts to almost defend him. He’s near giddy when Ragatha blows up on her - watching that bridge burn is one of the most satisfying things he has ever seen during the circus. Of course, Ragatha slips back into her archetype immediately and apologizes to Pomni, but her stuttering response and nervous body language is enough to tell Jax that something in their relationship broke with that outburst. He can’t help but poke at Ragatha - not expecting anything of it, honestly. Then she apologizes. To him. For “bringing up that thing earlier.” At the reminder of the stargazing adventure - a flash of a reminder comes up. Jax feels his mask slip on, biting out a response to Pomni’s well-meaning question and wanting to bite off his own head about it. His mask breaks when he spots a corn cob next to him - and he totally doe not jump up like a scared cat. He takes a moment to throw the corn cob away, then goes back to Pomni who sends Ragatha to bat for her.
“What, not interested in the great game of softball?” Jax asks, sitting next to her.
“I just don’t really care for sports. Plus Ragatha seems like she enjoys it.” Pomni shrugs a little. Cute Jax’s mind supplies.
“Yeah, this is defiantly one of her suggestions. Honestly I don’t understand why she would suggest this, there’s a room that we could make work for this in the circus already.”
Pomni’s interest is peaked as she turns to face him, “Oh? What’s it like? I haven’t been able to explore much.”
Jax grins as a plan to learn more about her forms, “I can show you when we’re done with this, if you want.” Before she can respond, Jax’s outfit changes back to his normal overalls and he feels immense relief. “Oh cool I’m not a vegan anymore,” Jax doesn’t waste the time to go and take out all of his frustrations on the object that’s annoying him the most. His “Evil” Clone. What’s so evil about him anyways? Is his niceness just a front and he’s actually a bigger asshole than even Jax? What is Caine trying to say with this stupid pink clone? Treating him like a chew toy is quite the pleasing experience. Especially when he can hear Pomni’s giggles.