Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Soft rustle of leaves danced in the afternoon breeze, the wind gently cradling the sunlight as it tiptoed toward Hyuntak’s room. A slow, rhythmic hum came from the table fan, its metallic blades creaking at every rotation. Books were stacked neatly on the shelf, and a small photo frame added a quiet charm to the otherwise simple room with a picture of young Hyuntak holding a trophy from a taekwondo competition, grinning with pride.The door clicked and invited Hyuntak into his own room. He sighed, sitting down on his chair, then lazily stretching, eliciting a creak from the chair. 

“Go Hyuntak!” He heard a shrill sound call out, and with a heavy and disinterested heart, Hyuntak got up again to drag himself to the noise. His feet shuffled over the antique wooden floorboard, which would always complain over stepping on it with a groan. 

He followed the voice to the adjoining store, a small extension of their house that served as a modest eatery. Inside, his mother stood over the counter, hurriedly chopping onions, her brow furrowed in intense concentration. “I am here, Mom. What do you want me to do?” Hyuntak stretched, his hands reaching the roof of the store he was currently standing in. 

His mother turned around, her eyes searching and then lighting up when she found what she wanted. Her fingers hastily picked up the two bags, filled with a big order and handed it over to Hyuntak. “Deliver it to the address written, and hurry back home. There is a lot left to do.” 

She was curt with her words, but her face would always be wary with concern for her son. “Do this till you find what to do with your life. But don’t expect this to be your life, okay? I am giving you three months, don’t end up like me and find what you truly enjoy doing.” She hurried back to the kitchen, continuing what she would always do. Hyuntak swore he had her words memorised, word by word.

 It had been four months since he graduated college. 

Four months since he could step out into the real world and contribute to a bigger society. Somehow, though, he faltered. He reached the end of the cliff and was standing on the edge, contemplating, staring down the uncertain future, unsure whether to leap, turn back, or simply remain frozen.

“Still unsure?” He heard his father’s heavy voice boom in the small store. He was busy helping his wife, helping her prepare ingredients for the next order that would arrive. He signalled Hyuntak to sit in the chair in front of him, which Hyuntak did. “It’s okay to take your time, you know how Mom is. She is concerned for you, but remember, whatever decision you take after this, your mother and father will support it till the end, alright?” Hyuntak gave a slight nod, then rose to grab his scooter keys. As he stepped outside, the familiar chime of the store door echoed behind him.

Sun wasn’t too harsh, it too was waking up slowly, adorning a soft, shifting gray, a patchwork of heavy clouds that drifted lazily over the landscape. The air was warm and thick, clinging to the skin, laced with the faint scent of rain that hadn’t yet fallen. He started his vehicle, the ride responding with a grunt and rev before Hyuntak sat and rode through the small town, all the way to the newly built sports centre. It was in the talks for a while, if Hyuntak remembered correctly, laden with new equipment and better facilities. Hyuntak hadn’t seen a shooting arena in real life, so it wouldn’t be wrong to say, a part of him felt excitement creep from within. 

When he parked his ride and headed to the mentioned location, he could hear commotion brewing. It seemed like everyone was busy trying to get the parties to break away from some kind of argument, meaning no one was their designated places. It was deathly silent inside and all the boards made it too confusing for Hyuntak to navigate. Luckily, he spotted a girl who seemed to be from here.

Perfect.

“Hi, do you know where the men’s shooting range is? I am new here.” He crouched down to level up to the girl. 

Surprisingly the girl pointed to her ear, then to her mouth and then explained that she couldn’t hear or speak.

Oh.

Hyuntak hadn’t imagined that the impulsive “Sign Language for Dummies” course he took after binge-watching a show would ever come in handy. But here he was, scrambling to piece together broken signs and gestures.

He managed to sign man and shoot , but range had completely escaped him. He scratched his head, trying to dig it out of his memory. He swore he’d learned the sign for ground , but his brain wasn’t cooperating, as if it was hell bent to embarrass him today.

The girl’s eyes sparkled, and Hyuntak could see it, it was evident in the way he could see a glint in her eyes, planning a mischief behind those innocent eyes. 

You are trying to shoot me?

The girl signed, stifling her amusement while being dramatically offended. Hyuntak was flustered, shaking his hands in denial. The kid smiled, her eyes glistening with amusement as she pulled out a small notebook and pen and handed it over to Hyuntak. He sighed, accepting his defeat and embarrassment as he wrote down his question and showed it to the girl, to which he showed the way, still extremely amused by Hyuntak’s embarrassing moment. 

Hyuntak extended his hand, palm facing down and with his other hand, signed a thank you to which the girl bowed with her fist tight to sign goodbye .

As he walked in the building again, he was reminded of the old days. He could hear the students practising in different gyms, some having their lunches in the corner, chatting with their teammates while the door to their rooms were slightly ajar. It was like peeking into their life, which made Hyuntak think of his own life. Before all of this, before that accident, back when he knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life. Their laughs made something in Hyuntak’s chest twist. He rushed through the hallways before he ended up at the shooting range. It was a big hall, target shots placed within variable distance and only a single boy practicing. He lowered his hand and glanced at the pistol in his hand, trying to get his grip correctly. He seemed frustrated, like he wasn’t meeting his standard. 

Hyuntak knew this feeling all too well. It would tug at his heart, every kick felt personal, and every unfulfilled goal was a label of his failure. He shook his head, hoping he would somehow forget all those memories. He walked up, only to be stopped in his tracks. 

He couldn’t believe his eyes.

A boy walked in. But it wasn’t just any boy.

He looked like spring itself, soft sunlight in his smile, eyes the color of dark honey, and laughter as light as petals caught in the breeze. As if the world began spinning and living again every time he walked into a room. His tousled hair was like wind blown grass, his smile captured the warmth of the sun and it seemed to melt every icy barrier Hyuntak had placed in his heart. He waved his hand in front of the boy practising which caught his attention as he turned around. 

You are doing so well 

The boy with dull eyes sighed, and smiled weakly. 

Thank you. You will be _____? Go.

His gaze drifted before finally landing on Hyuntak, catching him off guard. He gave a quick gesture, signing that he'd be right back. In response, the boy beamed, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his whole face glowing with joy. He bid adieu to the dull boy as he packed his bag and walked out of the arena from the back door. Hyuntak felt a sharp ache in his chest, as if his heart had split clean in two.

I swear, I'm going to pinch those cheeks. 

Hyuntak thought as his eyes followed the little figure skipping his way out. 

He was snapped from his daydreams by the boy in front of him who waved his hand in front of him. He pointed to the lunch boxes in Hyuntak’s hand and with a questioning look. Hyuntak scratched his head, as if he wasn’t already embarrassed enough, he was also distracted today. Just perfect. 

He handed over the lunch box to his customer and signed a thank you which caught the other by surprise. 

You can sign?  

He enquired.

Hyuntak nodded before adding a small gesture to show, just a bit 

His eyes lit up, or so Hyuntak thought before they returned to their tired, somber state. 

How much?

Hyuntak searched through the package before fishing out the bill and handing it to the boy. He dug in his pocket and pulled out stray bills and handed it to Hyuntak before turning around. Like an instinct though, Hyuntak reached out to the boy, tapping on his shoulder to get his attention. This time, the boy looked pissed enough which intimidated Hyuntak a bit. 

But he needed to know who that boy was. 

With his heart practically trying to break free from his chest, he nervously closed his fist and moved them slightly to sign a hello. He received a confused look but was greeted back nonetheless.

Just now, that guy who left, is he an athlete too? 

The boy tilted his head slightly, as if he couldn’t believe what Hyuntak just said. 

No.

Hyuntak clasped his palms and clapped twice. Friend?

No. Why?

What’s his name?

The boy’s face changed instantly, almost defensive. He held out his pinky and wrapped his other pinky and brought them forward to sign;

Are you trying to flirt right now?

Hyuntak was flustered as he replied with his index finger pointing out and thumbs extended up, he shook them,

No, just.. 

How do you even explain ‘curious’?

He could feel the other staring so he just returned with a humble, What’s your name? 

He pursed his lips before answering,

Sieun, but my face name is

He pointed at his face and circled at his face before poking his index finger on his cheek. 

Are we done?

He huffed. 

Hyuntak stopped him once again, this time throwing in a lazy smile as if that would compensate Sieun. 

You have a pretty name. 

I know. He could practically feel Sieun’s patience running thin.

What about.. him? 

Hyuntak nervously asked.

Don’t flirt with two people at the same time, you creep. 

Hyuntak was digging his own grave at this point. This conversation was not going the way it was intended to. At this rate he was starting to lose hope. His awful signing skills were not coming handy at all. He denied once again, this time looking a lot more embarrassed. 

I am not trying to flirt with you. I just need his name. 

He looked down, kicking his feet slightly and drowning in his own puddle of humiliation. He found Sieun’s hand calling out for him once again. 

His name is Juntae. His face name is

Sieun parted his pinky and swooped his hand over his face diagonally. 

Phone number, 

Hyuntak shaped his hand to show a phone,

of your brother, can you give me his contact?  

Hyuntak signed, hoping he didn’t come off as a douche to the boy in front of him. 

He received a questioning look again, but this time there was a glint of amusement in them. 

Go get it from him, yourself. 

Idiot?

Hyuntak wasn't sure if he read that correctly but his suspicion was proven true after he showed a thumbs down, blowing raspberries to show his disappointment. Surprisingly, Hyuntak wasn’t offended at all. Instead, the possibility of talking to Juntae again made his heart flutter and skip a few beats. He turned around, almost twirling as he walked out of the gym, narrowly missing the rare smile on Sieun’s face. 

⟢

The next time Hyuntak met Juntae was at the library, which was surprising because he was there to borrow a book on sign language. For Juntae. 

For the past two days, all that Hyuntak could think of was the sweet spring boy who looked like he walked out of a perfume commercial. His smile, the way his eyes would light up when he was excited or the way his cheeks flared in soft red hues that only the keen would notice. It kept replaying in his head like it had intentionally been wired to show the exact thing, and each replay shot Hyuntak’s happiness meter to a hundred. He watched him bury his nose deep in books, occasionally signing something that Hyuntak could barely figure out. He would watch Juntae give a practiced smile, repeating the signs till he got them perfectly. His lips were pouted, trying to figure out a way to remember the signs correctly and Hyuntak resisted the urge to kiss them till they turned sore.

Hyuntak couldn’t help thinking like this.

Everything about Juntae made his heart flip countless times and Juntae wasn’t even trying. In fact, he wasn’t even aware of Hyuntak or his growing crush towards him. He tried hard to keep himself from walking over to the boy and sitting right in front of him as he didn't wish to scare Juntae away. But when Juntae started packing his bag and walking out, Hyuntak followed, almost tripping in the process. When he finally made it out, he noticed Juntae trying to start his scooter. He had a furrowed look on his face, mostly annoyed at the fact that his scooter wouldn’t cooperate. 

That’s it.

Hyuntak had found his way. 

He jogged slightly towards Juntae before waving his hand in front of Juntae’s face to grab his attention. Juntae blinked once, then twice before his face morphed to confusion. 

Shit, you’re losing your chance, Hyuntak. 

He closed his fist and shook them slightly while bowing down and Juntae caught on pretty quick. 

Can I… look at it? 

Hyuntak asked and was replied with a nod. Juntae stepped aside and Hyuntak inspected the scooter. It was evident that the scooter had seen its days and was in need of a few tweaks to run smoothly. Luckily, Hyuntak had been carrying a small notebook and a pen ever since he was at the sports center. It was the perfect time to use it. He pulled out his notebook and clicked his pen to scribble the problem down for Juntae. He pointed at the book and Juntae read it, his eyes squinting at some words as if he was trying to make sense of Hyuntak’s illegible handwriting. 

He looked back up again and asked,

Will it take a lot of time?

Hyuntak scribbled once again, telling Juntae that it would take around 30 minutes at most but he would have to take the scooter to a mechanic. He could see Juntae grow wary, and then it clicked. 

Are you in a hurry? 

Hyuntak signed and Juntae nodded. The gears in Hyuntak’s mind shifted then stopped mid way as he finally scribbled again on his notebook.

You can take my scooter for now and I’ll take yours to the mechanic. We can meet again tomorrow and swap back, are you okay with this? 

Hyuntak’s eyes were basically pleading. This was his chance. His chance to be Juntae’s knight in shining armour. At first, Juntae disagreed, quoting that Hyuntak would be busy, but after Hyuntak’s repeated attempts to convince Juntae otherwise he finally took some time to think over it, scratching his head before giving up. He grabbed Hyuntak’s notebook from his hand and wrote down his number, leaving a small note on the side.

Please contact me on this number now, I will save it.

Hyuntak couldn’t help but feel giddy. He bit his lips hoping that the force tugging at his lips to open into a wide grin would suppress. He pulled out his phone and dialed the number letting a ring pass before cutting the call. Juntae bowed down to say thank you. 

Hyuntak was mesmerised to say the least. He gripped the strap of his bag, holding back the urge to pick Juntae up and run away. Just then, he saw Juntae’s eyes light up, like he remembered something. He waved his hand to get Hyuntak’s attention and signed hastily,

What is your name?

Hyuntak couldn’t believe his eyes. He had been waiting for this ever since he saw Juntae. 

Slowly, Hyuntak answered back. 

My name, 

He showed a name tag sign near his chest,

is Go Hyuntak. And my face name is,

He rested his thumb on his cheek and motioned his index like he was clicking a picture on a camera. He saw Juntae smile again, this time because he was amused by Hyuntak . The fact alone made Hyuntak’s chest swell with pride. 

Thank you

Juntae bowed once again. We will meet again tomorrow. 

Hyuntak saw Juntae take his scooter and disappear around the corner, his heart still beating at hundred miles per hour.

⟢

“Suho-yah.” Hyuntak entered the garage with a kind of giddiness that would be identical to a kid getting a toy they had thrown a tantrum over. “Fix this for me. It should hardly take half an hour since we only have to fix a few things.” He handed over a coffee that he had grabbed on the way and proceeded to spread himself over the black leather couch, munching on some chips that were kept on the tea table. 

“Where is Baku, by the way?” He said between the crunching and munching. 

“Stop keeping your shoes on my precious sofa, you douche.” Baku pushed Hyuntak’s legs that rested on the sofa’s arm. He sat down beside Hyuntak, picking a few pieces and popping in his mouth. 

“All of that is great, but where did you even get this? It’s really old. I could fix the seats too, parts of it are ripped on the side.” Suho was inspecting the bike, chewing gum to keep the smell of grease and oil out of his nose. 

“You can do it right?” Hyuntak walked over to Suho and he responded with a prompt nod and “Of course, I can.”

“Anyways, Gogo, are you up for a basketball match today?” Baku got up to dust his fingers and then tossed an imaginary ball into the hoop. He turned around, holding the same position and letting out a whistle. He was expecting a yes and even if Hyuntak wasn't in the mood to play, he knew he would be dragged to the match nonetheless. Hyuntak sighed as he nodded, wondering if basketball would serve as a distraction from the ever distracting, absolutely adorable, Juntae.

It did not.

Every time he made a goal, all he could think was how Juntae would react to him. Would he cheer? Or would he flash his smile that would make even the strongest hearts melt? Would he run up to him and hug him tight, or give him a peck on the cheek af-

“Gogo, watch out!” 

Before Hyuntak could even react to the situation, a spinning ball hit him right in the head. One swoop and it was a total knockout. 

The next thing he could remember was him in a bed, the sun was already setting and Baku was hovering over him, as if he was ready to pounce over Hyuntak the moment he got up. 

“You are up!” He yelled and Hyuntak just hoped that Baku would have some mercy on his ears. Suho shifted from sitting on Hyuntak’s chair to the edge of his bed, waving his fingers while holding a two in front of him.

“Hyuntak, what is this?” He asked as if he was genuinely concerned. He was just stupid. 

“What time is it?” Hyuntak asked weakly.

“Stupid, I am holding two fingers.” 

“What if he is actually not seeing two though?” 

“Why do you always end up at our house?” Suho pushed Hyuntak to the side and reclaimed his position on his bed. Hyuntak, who was lying on the bed, staring at the blank wall above him, seemed to not mind Suho’s nagging. Baku squeezed himself on the small bed as well so as to fit all three of them.

“Don’t you have your own bed, Humin? ” Suho was practically seething.

“Well god forbid I want to spend some time with my friend, laying beside him. Aren’t I right, Gotak?” Baku turned to the side to face Hyuntak who was still lost in thoughts. He was unusually quiet, a miracle considering he would have blasted in rage with Suho and Humin laying on either side, bickering over him. 

“Go Hyuntak.” Suho shook the boy beside him and that seemed to bring him back. “Don’t you also have your own bed? What are you even doing here? Go home.”

“Home feels like work and I don’t want to sleep in the place I work at.” He answered. “Just let me crash over here for a while.” He sighed, drifting back to his old thoughts.

“Dude,” Baku started. “Are you okay? Did you fight at home?” 

“It’s not like that, it’s just,” Hyuntak fell silent. He glanced over at his phone and then sighed again, deeper this time. “It’s nothing.”

“Is this about the scooter person?” Suho sat up straight, now curious. 

“What do you even mean?” Hyuntak shot up, this time horrified by the fact that his stupid friends had actually figured something out correctly. Was he that obvious?

“Is it a girl?” Suho teased. 

“A guy.” Hyuntak admitted.

“Oh. Who’s the unlucky guy then?”

“What do you mean?” Hyuntak glared at Baku who passed the comment. 

“You’d be lucky to even get him. That’s for sure.” Baku tried suppressing a laugh. He failed miserably.

“This is serious, Park Humin.”

“Ain’t nothing serious when an actual loser like you is a coward at confessing your feelings.” Baku mentioned. “Suho, do you remember? Back in middle school, Hyuntak’s first crush? And she ended up dating another guy because he was too late for a confession?” Baku remembered the day like it was yesterday and Suho’s brain cogs started turning slowly while recollecting the memory. 

“ Humin. I thought we agreed not to talk about that.”  Hyuntak gritted through his teeth. 

“My point is, Go Hyuntak-s si, You need to stop beating around the bush and start making moves. Invite him on dates, take him out somewhere.”

“He’s right.” 

Both Suho and Baku got closer, peering into Hyuntak's very soul. Hyuntak pushed off the blanket and walked to Suho’s desk himself, clearing well enough to walk perfectly fine and read the clock like a normal person would.

19:15

It blinked.

And so did Hyuntak.

He scrambled around, trying to find his phone which he miraculously found on the table even though he had already looked for it over there twice.  

It lit up groggily, like it had just awoken from its slumber and Hyuntak wasted no time in texting,

Juntae

Hyuntak

Hey!

The cursor kept blinking, as if taunting him on his inability to text normally. He had made 3 attempts to draft a coherent and cool sentence but all he could come up with was a Hey .

He groaned, feeling the pressure mounting as Suho and Baku had rested their chins on either side of his shoulders, witnessing Hyuntak’s mental unravelling.

“What’s with the exclamation mark? You never type like this with us?” Suho remarked, still looking over Hyuntak’s shoulder. 

“Who is this Juntae guy even?” Baku added. 

“It’s the scooter guy, dumbass. ”

“Can you please, let me focus? This is really important to me.” Hyuntak let out a frustrated sigh and he started typing again.

Hyuntak

We met at the library today.

I lent you my scooter.

At what time should we meet tomorrow?

Hyuntak practically threw his phone across the room after the last message. It felt like a game, a wrong move and Juntae could have the wrong idea about him. He was not going to lose his chance over a stupid text.

Yet, his mind kept wandering. What if Juntae found it rude? Should he have added more exclamation marks? What if Juntae blocks him because he doesn’t remember Hyuntak.

He wouldn’t do that, right? They had just met in the morning, Juntae wouldn’t forget it, right?

21:30

The clock displayed proudly. It had been 2 hours 15 minutes and 50 seconds since Juntae left him on delivered . 51 now.

He had, by this point — reached home, ran a lap around his house, had his dinner and was now holding the book he borrowed from the library. His phone was absolutely dry, not a single message.

He had his hopes up once, when his phone rang while he was studying sign language but it turned out to be some promotional message from some pottery workshop. He sighed before picking his phone up again, hovering his finger over Juntae’s chat.

Hyuntak

Hi.

Are you busy?

By 10 o’clock he had lost all hope. His mind felt fried and he couldn’t stop thinking absurd thoughts like considering the possibility that he might have been scammed. It felt awfully wrong, but at this point, it seemed like the only possible explanation. 

Hyuntak

Hi.

I don’t know if you have me blocked.

Or if this is a wrong number.

Or maybe the fact that I might have been scammed.

But please, let me know where to meet 

So that I can give you your bike back.

He shut his phone off. He had enough mental drain for today. Somehow though, even in his dreams, all he could see was

Juntae.

⟢

Juntae

Juntae

Hi 

Good morning!

I am sorry I was busy yesterday (｡ᵕ ◞ _◟)

And it totally skipped my mind to text you ; (◞‸◟)

If you don’t mind

Can we meet at the park near the library 

At 10:00 am?

Hyuntak opened his eyes to a flood of messages and he felt his feet lift off the ground. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Juntae actually texted him back. It wasn’t a dream or a hallucination, he had pinched himself enough times to remind him that. 

Just when Juntae couldn’t get any cuter, he uses keyboard emojis and that makes him a hundred times cuter than before.

Hyuntak was over the moon, an irony considering it was morning. He bit his lips in excitement as he texted back with a thumbs up, not wanting to waste anymore time.

He had to look good.

For Juntae.

But before that, he had a little surprise planned.

—

At the park, Juntae waited near the statue which would be visible from miles away, hoping that Hyuntak would notice him. He held his bag strap like his life depended on it, constantly looking around for some sign of Hyuntak, and then to his watch to note down the ticking time. 

It was already a huge help yesterday with Hyuntak lending him his scooter at the right time so that he wouldn’t be late to class, but on top of that he had also offered to repair the old scooter. Juntae was beyond grateful for that. So, he prepared a small gift, hoping that Hyuntak would accept it. He wished he could do more, but money was tight and his time bounded classes rendered him no choices. 

When he noticed a figure that had the same dimensions as Hyuntak, he immediately waved, high enough for him to spot and promptly enough, Hyuntak rode the bike and parked in front of the pair.

Hello

Juntae meekly opened the conversation.

Hello. 

He replied back.

It was undeniable that the air between them was awkward. It was bound to be, considering they met only yesterday.

I truly thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Juntae bowed while signing thank you.

The other vehemently denied, saying it wasn’t a big deal.

Ah, an also,

Hyuntak pointed at the scooter.

I cleaned your scooter up. It was dirty and I didn’t want you to take home a dirty bike so I cleaned it up. 

The note on the seat read.

Juntae’s eyes lit up in surprise as he walked around his scooter, which looked nothing like how he was used to seeing. Fixed seats, sparkling handles, headlights clean and the bumpers washed perfectly. 

I am truly thankful. I cannot believe this. 

Juntae signed before he ran his fingers over the new seats. 

Ah, how much was the repair cost?

The boy in front of him looked confused at first, but when he caught up, he shook his hands, denying any kind of payback. 

It costs almost nothing.

He replied.

But still-

Juntae was interrupted, his hands held slightly to stop him from talking any further. For a moment, there was an unmistakable spark and Juntae wondered if he was the only one who felt it. He saw Hyuntak’s face grow increasingly red as he pulled his hand away and turned around.

Juntae could still feel his touch lingered and for a moment, he too, felt his heart beat a little faster than usual but he was quick to shake off the feeling. 

At least then, please accept this.

Juntae pulled out a small box, wrapped in a ribbon and handed it over to Hyuntak, closing his fist to secure the gift. He could see Hyuntak eager to open it but Juntae was quick to stop. 

Open it at home.

He saw Hyuntak nod and a part of him felt relieved.

He saw Hyuntak wave in front of him just a few minutes after, to get Juntae’s attention.

Can you,

Instead of money,

Give me something else?

He seemed nervous which made Juntae nervous, but if it meant he could repay Hyuntak back, he was ready to splurge a bit more.

Can we be friends?

He could notice a subtle shake in his hands as he signed. It wasn’t obvious but Juntae was known to be observant. When Hyuntak didn’t receive any reply, partly because Juntae was busy thinking about the details he noticed, he moved on to a different question.

How old are you, Juntae?

That snapped Juntae from his thoughts. 

Ah, I am 26 years old.

Hyuntak’s eyes lit up. 

Me too.

He smiled.

He actually smiled.

For the first time in Juntae’s life, someone’s smile made his heart trip a few beats. Juntae’s eyes widened as a small glowing aura surrounded Hyuntak. He shook his head, hoping to make those thoughts disappear but the moment he looked back again, the same would repeat.

It wasn’t until Hyuntak’s face morphed into confusion that brought Juntae back to Earth. 

Sorry about that.

Juntae signed apologetically, hoping that the earth would swallow him whole at this point.

But I would love to be your friend!

He immediately got back on topic, praying and hoping that Hyuntak didn't find him weird. He threw in a smile as a last resort. 

Hyuntak grinned again and he extended his hand for a handshake. Juntae moved his hand forward, returning the handshake shyly.

My name is Juntae.

My face name is,

He swooped his hand over his face, parting the pinky slightly and tucking his thumb in.

Hyuntak followed, repeating Juntae’s name again to confirm. Juntae nodded and Hyuntak smiled again.

That damn smile.

And his heart who refused to listen to anyone else but his feelings.

I met your brother at the sports centre. I got to know your name back then. 

Hyuntak scratched his neck in embarrassment. 

Sorry. I wanted to be friends with you. I hope you don’t mind.

Somehow, Juntae wasn’t annoyed. He was slightly taken aback. 

It’s okay. Juntae closed his fist, only keeping his pinky open and tapped it lightly on his chin.

Nice to meet you.

Juntae glanced at his watch again. He was already running late. He signed a quick thank you and goodbye and waved at Hyuntak. As he was about to leave, he felt a soft pull at his sleeve which prompted him to look back. 

Can we at least have coffee? To celebrate our friendship? Or a sandwich?

Hyuntak had this pleading look on his face, similar to when he was asking for Juntae’s number. Juntae couldn’t say no. Not to those eyes.

Fine.

Hyuntak buzzed with excitement as he ran to the nearest coffee shop to order some coffee. Meanwhile, Juntae kept pacing around, partly because he was a bit worried. He couldn’t afford to miss classes but at the same time, Hyuntak was extremely excited and he didn’t wish to be a killjoy. Hyuntak dashed to their place again, barely keeping the coffee from spilling. Juntae let out a quiet laugh. Hyuntak was, in a way, comical. Juntae would feel a small sense of relief around him. He wasn’t sure if that meant good, but it definitely felt that way.

In comfortable silence, they sipped their drinks, Juntae finishing a bit earlier than Hyuntak. He reached out to get some change but was immediately stopped by Hyuntak. 

Don’t, please. It’s on me.

But Juntae wasn’t going to listen. He handed over the cash and turned around to throw the cups. 

Take that as a treat from me. And I am accepting any takebacks. 

He huffed. Hyuntak bit his cheek before smiling and then signing,

Fine, but the next time we hang out. I’ll pay.

He nodded slightly and smiled, confirming the request before turning on his brand new scooter and riding off into the distance with a smile tugging at his lips.

—

I want to travel with my brother abroad and assist him at the Olympics.

Juntae signed. He looked around to see the students signing an applause by shaking their open hands by the wrist and holding them up. He felt his heart swell up with pride as he shyly smiled. It was his goal, and he was ready to do everything to get Sieun to the Olympics. He had faith in Sieun, more than he had faith in himself and he believed in him more than anyone possibly could. Doing part time jobs and attending international sign language classes even though he would get tired beyond limits by the time he reached home, it was all for one goal . 

Seeing Sieun compete at the Olympics . 

By the time class ended, Juntae was already rushing to his part time job and as the night would settle, Juntae would drag his feet back home with a smiling Sieun waiting for him. That alone would boost his morale. 

Wash up, I’ll prepare dinner. 

Sieun signed and went into the kitchen, opening the fridge. Juntae replied with a tired nod before practically dropping his bag on the floor and instantly jumping to bed, completely surrendering himself to the comfort of blankets. He looked up, still laying as he saw a light flash near his bed, meaning Juntae was needed. He got up and dragged his feet to the kitchen, finding Sieun chopping up some fruits. He tapped on Sieun’s shoulder softly so as to not scare him. He turned around, then had his hand on his hips.

Who keeps texting you on your phone? 

He did look annoyed, but Juntae knew it was because Sieun was concerned. 

Tell them to send one long text because I cannot stand the phone lighting up with every notification. Last night was hell. You know my sleeping problems.

He booed to show his discontent. Juntae laughed, just a small giggle before apologising. 

Sorry, I made a new friend yesterday. They were texting me. I will tell them to tone it down at night. Okay?

Juntae smiled which made Sieun melt and let go of his act immediately. 

Did you wash up?

No. 

Sieun stared back with dead eyes which urged Juntae to dash to the bathroom. He would see real hell if he was even a second late after that threat. He locked the door and looked at himself in the mirror. After ages, he finally had a proper look at himself. Tired eyes and dull face. He tried washing it away with water, but it was still the same. The light in his face had disappeared. He wasn’t annoyed by it, just disappointed. 

No Juntae, you cannot think this way. All this hard work is for the greater good. 

He slapped his face a few times to get back to work. 

Juntae, you can do this. 

With that, he walked out the door and into the living room where Sieun had already reheated dinner and chopped up fruits for a salad. Juntae signed a quick thank you before diving in. 

Every bite tasted like heaven. After all, he had been hungry for a while now. 

He felt a small pull at his sleeve which diverted his attention to Sieun.

Do you want some beer? 

No, thanks. I don’t feel like drinking today. 

Did something happen today?

Do you think I am an alcoholic? I can live without beer, you know?

Juntae pouted. 

Kay, I believe you. 

Ah, Sieun, please. You don’t look convinced at all. 

It’s because I am not. You keep smiling randomly. 

Can I not smile randomly anymore?

It’s not like that. You seem preoccupied. 

Aw, does my Sieunnie not like that?  

Juntae was the only one bold enough to pinch Sieun’s cheeks and make it out alive and he took every advantage of his privilege. 

Fine. Don’t tell me. It’s not like I care anyways.

Sieun huffed, crossing his arms and then shifting his bowl away from Juntae’s. 

Aigoo, my cute Sieunnie. 

Juntae pouted even more and Sieun pretended that he didn’t like the attention. 

I am your older brother. Behave. 

Okay, hyung. 

Juntae tried his best to hold his laughter. He would pull this trick every time things didn’t go his way and it was funny to witness it every single time. 

Eat well, Juntae. 

Mhm, you too. 

Hyung,

Juntae tapped on Sieun’s shoulder to get his attention.

How was practice today? Did you walk home or take the bus?

My coach dropped me home. And practice went well.

Did you hit a lot of bullseye? 

Juntae’s eyes were sparkling in curiosity. Sieun nodded. 

I knew it! You are going to do amazing at tryouts. Trust me.

Juntae held his chin up, high and proud. 

I’ll be grateful if I even pass. Reaching the Olympics is a dream. 

You are going to do amazing, I keep saying it but you never listen.

Juntae huffed.

I close my eyes and ignore, instead. 

Sieun cracked a smile which made Juntae feel a bit better. 

_

Juntae 

Hyuntak

Hey.

Did you eat dinner?

Was he being desperate? Probably.

But he couldn’t get Juntae out of his mind.

He kept thinking about him, from morning to night. 

And this was the only way for his heart to finally settle. 

“Hyuntak,” He heard his mother’s soft voice before opening the door to his room. He freezed, then processed the fact that his mom had entered the room after which ensued chaos with the phone slipping from his hand first, then him slipping over practically nothing and falling right on his chair. 

“Oh.” was all that escaped from his mother’s lips for a while. “Well, I am sorry to bother you like this.” 

“Oh. Oh no, mom. Look, I am completely fine. Totally.” He crossed his legs and sat uptight as if that would be enough to convince her. Or so he hoped. 

“I was going to ask you to come out of your room for dinner, but I guess you are busy.” 

“No. I am not busy at all.” He glanced at his phone once again. Luckily, nothing was broken but unfortunately he still didn’t receive a reply so it didn’t matter. “I’ll join.” He kept his phone on the table and walked to the table with his mother. 

None of it mattered though. He kept thinking about Juntae. 

“You didn’t touch your food, Hyuntak.” His father’s voice snapped him away from his thoughts. For the first time that day, he finally looked at his food. It had been hardly touched and he had hardly picked a grain of rice in his chopstick. 

“Ah.” He couldn’t think of anything else and it was getting bad.

“Do you not feel well?” His mom enquired. 

“Mom, if you don’t mind, I don’t feel too well. I’ll just call it a day. Just keep my leftovers in the fridge, I’ll eat it tomorrow.” Hyuntak got up from his seat and bowed before walking away from his chair.

“Hyuntak-ah, do you need any medicine?”

“No, I am fine, mom. Just a bit tired.” 

“Sleep well, baby.”

“You too.” With that Hyuntak closed the door and rested his forehead on it. You are going crazy, Go Hyuntak.

He sighed deeply before settling in his bed. 

Today felt nothing short of a dream. Hyuntak's eyes wandered to his bedside table where Juntae's gift sat.

Open it at home, he had said.

Luckily, Hyuntak was home, though his mind was far from grounded, lost in thoughts of a certain someone.

The box was neatly wrapped in soft pastel pink paper, tied with a red ribbon that added a charming contrast. Carefully, he opened it to find a small Kuromi keychain nestled inside. He recognized the character immediately but only because his cousin sister couldn’t stop gushing about Sanrio every time she visited. He closed his eyes, his lips pursed, holding a small smile that would’ve escaped his lips. He could imagine Juntae picking out between all Sanrio characters and then landing on Kuromi. Hyuntak was ecstatic. Not because Kuromi was his favourite character, but because Juntae thought of Hyuntak while picking this up. 

That itself was enough. 

A small laugh escaped him. Soft, surprised. It wasn’t just a keychain. It was him . Juntae.

His phone lit up with a notification, prompting Hyuntak to lunge toward the table and snatch it up with the speed and precision of a seasoned pickpocket. 

Juntae

Juntae

Hi.

Juntae

Just had dinner

Juntae had dinner. So cute.

Juntae

Did you eat?

Eat well, okay?

See you soon!

Good night

Call this the first day of our friendship ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

Hyuntak

Mhm.

Goodnight!

See. Now that Juntae had asked him to eat well, he couldn't say no. He got up from his bed and dashed to the fridge. He saw his mom and dad situated at the TV watching shows that Hyuntak wasn’t going to bother himself with. He quietly slid open the fridge door and retrieved the plate of food, now cold but comforting in its familiarity. The rice had clumped slightly, and the side dishes looked a bit dull in the fridge light, but none of that mattered.

Juntae had told him to eat.

Hyuntak warmed the plate in the microwave, leaning against the kitchen counter as it whirred to life. He glanced over at the living room, his parents were absorbed in a drama, soft laughter and the occasional gasp echoing through the space. They hadn’t noticed him, or if they did, they chose not to interrupt. He was thankful for that.

The microwave beeped.

With the plate in hand, he settled back at his table, the warmth of the food now strangely paired with a warmth in his chest. Each bite tasted better than it had any right to. Not because the food had magically changed, but because someone had cared enough to tell him to eat.

He smiled to himself again. This time, it lasted a little longer.

After finishing, he rinsed the plate and placed it in the dishwasher, padding back to his room with light steps. He shut the door behind him and flopped onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Call it the first day of our friendship.
The words echoed in his head like a song stuck on loop.

He reached for the keychain again, holding it up to the light. Kuromi winked back at him, mischievous and oddly fitting. He dangled it in the air before setting it gently on his pillow, like it belonged there.

The conversation lingered like a lullaby, comforting and familiar.

Hyuntak placed the phone beside the keychain and turned off the lights. Darkness settled over the room, but tonight, it didn’t feel so heavy.

⟢

“This is for delivery, right?” Hyuntak was giddy. It was obvious. Every word that slipped out of his mouth felt like he was stepping on clouds, completely euphoric. His mother noticed it too. He wasn’t a teen to be having mood swings so she settled on the explanation that whatever was bothering him yesterday had been resolved. Out of the corner of her eye, she had seen Hyuntak turning on the microwave, and staring at the food rotating under the bright yellow lights with a smile on his face. He wasn’t acting like usual the past few days and she was sure something was up but as long as Hyuntak was happy, she didn’t feel the need to push him about it.

Instead she looked at her husband with an amused smile. He smiled back, nodded to confirm that he was thinking the same. 

“I’ll be back by closing time, love you mom and dad!” With a quick bye and wide grin plastered on his face, he pushed the door, the familiar chime ringing again. 

“He is acting strange right?” She remarked, her face slightly amused. 

“Well, at least he is happy and helping around.” His father noted while separating the ingredients they needed for today. 

“You are right.” She returned back to the kitchen before hearing the chime ring again, this time a huffing Hyuntak running into the store. 

“Mom! I almost forgot.” He picked up the two separate packets that he had prepared after waking up early and stuffed it in his arms before rushing back. 

“You think he found someone?”

“Whoever it is, I would like to thank them. I finally got to see Hyuntak genuinely happy after so long.”

His father hummed in agreement. “Ever since the, you know, accident. He had lost everything he dreamed of. I am glad he found some footing again.” 

Meanwhile, Hyuntak had stuffed the orders in the back and the special packages in the boot of his scooter before driving off. 

—

Juntae

Hyuntak

Have you eaten?

It took only a few seconds for Juntae to respond this time.

Juntae

Mhm

The classes just ended.

I am having a sandwich. 

Hyuntak straightened himself up and typed back. 

Hyuntak

You should eat well to grow up well.

Where are you now?

I am coming over.

Hyuntak got up from resting on his bike and wore the helmet he had hung over its handle. Just then, his phone dinged with a notification again.

Juntae

You don’t have to, Tak-ah ~

Tak-ah is the single most cutest nickname he had ever received. He bit his lips as a soft blush crept over his cheeks.

Hyuntak

Nope.

I am coming over.

Are you near the park again?

Let’s meet there.

He snuck his phone in his pocket and turned his key to start his scooter. 

—

I don’t know what you like so I made all of these things. 

Hyuntak scribbled on his notebook. 

I like all of these. 

Juntae had the most honest eyes, and right now they were twinkling which made Hyuntak’s heart swell with pride. He saw Juntae break the chopsticks apart and dig in, his mouth curling into a smile as he dug in, while Hyuntak’s eyes were completely fixed on Juntae. 

Is it good?

Juntae simply nodded in response, his eyes crinkling at the side and his face glowing under the sun. 

Thank you so much for this. I feel full now. 

That’s good to know.

Juntae fished out some money from his pocket to settle the bill but Hyuntak refused. He sulked, feeling in debt by Hyuntak’s kindness and Hyuntak seemed to notice that.

I already received your payment.

Juntae was confused and Hyuntak pointed at his trousers. Specifically the belt area, when he had hung Juntae’s Kuromi keychain. His eyes lit up in joy as he asked with giddy,

Do you like it?

Hyuntak nodded with the same enthusiasm, a smile forming along with it.

I love it.

Juntae giggled and Hyuntak kept staring. Juntae glanced at his watch again and brought it to Hyuntak’s attention that he had to leave. He thanked Hyuntak once again but not before Hyuntak pulled him by the wrist and accidentally brought him closer than he intended too. In fact, Juntae was close enough to hear Hyuntak’s heartbeats that were running at lightning speed. He awkwardly let go, letting his embarrassment get the best of him before asking Juntae,

Can we hang out like this more often?

Of course! I would love to. But I have to leave now.

Juntae had that pout on his face again, and Hyuntak knew he had to let go. 

See you later!

Juntae waved goodbye as he jogged around the corner, leaving Hyuntak’s heart in a mess. 

⟢

Hyuntak’s phone dinged for the third time today. It was the same promotional message about a pottery workshop that he got a few days ago. As he was lounging in his bed, enjoying his time off for a while, the sound would irritate him. It made him hopeful . Every ring made Hyuntak scrambling to open his phone, expecting a message from Juntae but getting hit by the same promotional message. 

“Hyuntak,” Suho shot up from his place, “I think I have an idea to get you and Juntae on a date.” Suho kept his manhwa aside and pulled Hyuntak to whisper an idea. 

And so, the gears in his mind started moving. 

He opened the link to the website and scrolled over the brochure about a thousand times. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask Juntae out on a date but he would turn into a mumbling mess every time he picked his phone up to text him about it. 

Go Hyuntak-ssi, You need to stop beating around the bush and start making moves. 

He couldn’t believe Humin’s voice was ringing in his mind at a moment like this. Nonetheless, he picked his phone up and drafted a message. 

—

Juntae had just gotten out of a shower when he saw his phone light up with a message. 

Hyuntak

Hyuntak

There's this pottery place near the bookstore downtown.

Want to go with me this weekend? I thought it might be fun...

We can try making mugs or bowls or… weird shapeless blobs…

My treat!

Juntae

Ah… I don’t know (,, ‸ ,, )

I will mostly be with Sieun hyung for practice.

Do you know, he scored perfect in his trial matches?

As he was typing, he felt a looming presence behind him. He turned around to see Sieun, looking over at the messages.

I was going to call you for breakfast but you seemed busy.

Sieun started. He paused for a while before continuing.

Is he bothering you by any chance?

Juntae shook his head in no.

He asked me for your name when we first met. Said he wanted to flirt with you. If he is bothering you, I'll kick him where it hurts.

Sieun was dead serious but Juntae was flabbergasted. 

He is.. interested in me?

Sieun nodded. 

Hyung, don’t joke around please.

I am serious. 

Sieun’s eyes widened as if he took great offense in that. 

Do you like him, Juntae?

Juntae was silent for a while. Even if Juntae didn’t say it, Sieun noticed – the way Juntae’s eyes would light up while texting back, the way his smile had changed ever since he met Hyuntak, like he was relieved. It was very obvious but he doubted if Juntae was aware of it himself.

Just then, Juntae’s phone rang which startled the both of them. It was a video call from Hyuntak.

Pick it up.

Sieun was serious. Juntae shook his head to show no but Sieun’s eyes stayed soulless which finally convinced Juntae to pick the call up. 

Where is Sieun?

Hyuntak signed from the other side as he adjusted his camera. Juntae turned his camera to Sieun and Hyuntak smiled. 

Congratulations, Sieun.

Sieun signed a quick thank you before turning the camera back to Juntae, while keeping his eyes on the screen and then something caught his eye.

Sieun turned the phone camera toward himself again after noticing a figure at the side, who was trying to look subtle while eavesdropping and was failing miserably.

Who is that? On your left?

Hyuntak shifted his gaze to the person and then nervously looked back into the camera. 

Does he know I can see him or is he trying to be different? 

Sieun was judging. And that was not good for Hyuntak. He cannot lose Sieun’s trust. 

He is my friend. He came over to play. 

Is he a child? 

Great, the conversation was going worse than Hyuntak expected. Perfect.

Ask him to show his face.

Hyuntak turned his camera to the side slowly. The boy beside Hyuntak nervously moved forward to get a good look, then his eyes widened like he had seen some kind of treasure and then continued to wave a hi like some kid. He looked.. okay. He wasn’t an eyesore, that’s for sure. His horrible haircut wasn’t helping his case but his sharp features had Sieun stunned for a while. He saw the camera being turned to Hyuntak again and Sieun was sure he swore something nasty to Hyuntak in his mind. Nevertheless, Hyuntak didn’t seem to notice as he continued,

Juntae, what do you think about the message I sent you?

I don’t know.. 

Juntae was pouting again. 

What happened?

Sieun tapped Juntae’s shoulder and signed. 

Do you have plans with him?

Juntae shyly replied with a nod. Sieun thought over it for a while before replying,

If you want to, then go with him.

But what about y-

I can manage on my own.

Your lunch?

Hyuntak who had been seeing them, signed back,

I’ll send my friend over. He can deliver Sieun’s lunch. What do you say?

Hyuntak looked eager. Juntae found it hard to say no after that. He nodded, still a bit nervous and he swore he saw Hyuntak’s eyes light up like stars. 

So… see you tomorrow?

Mhm, see you tomorrow.

Juntae smiled but Hyuntak grinned.

A small doubt still clawing in his mind, Juntae decided to ignore it.

This was one of the few times he was going to spend his free time doing something productive, if anything, he should be grateful. So he swallowed his feelings and kept the phone away, hoping that he could calm himself down.

He was going out with Hyuntak.

Like a real date.

..a date.

Juntae was already feeling fuzzy from within. 

⟢

The next day arrived faster than Juntae expected.

He stood outside the pottery studio, his hands stuffed deep into his jacket pockets, trying to hide the fact that they were slightly trembling. He had changed outfits twice, debated whether his shoes looked too casual, and even re-did his hair three times. It’s not a date-date, he kept reminding himself. Just... two people spending time together. Making a pot or something.

The studio was tucked away in a cozy corner of the street, with little ceramic wind chimes hanging from the awning that sang every time the breeze passed by. The earthy scent of clay and the soft hum of an old jazz tune spilled out through the open door.

Hyuntak was already inside, seated by a worktable, sleeves rolled up and a clay-streaked apron around his waist. He looked so at ease, like he belonged here. Like this wasn’t his first time dragging someone on a date like this.

Hey 

Hyuntak greeted, his smile immediate and unguarded when he saw Juntae walk in. 

You're right on time.  

He got up, suddenly, and walked over to the other side of the room to grab an apron only to walk back and hand the apron over to Juntae. 

We are going to need this.

He signed. 

Maybe it was something in the air, but Hyuntak looked different. The dim yellow lights highlighted the right parts of his face and his fuzzy cream coloured sweater hugged him at all the right places. His rolled up sleeves just looked like a ploy to make Juntae swoon over his arms and it was working. He couldn’t stop staring at Hyuntak’s very attractive arms. He still had the Kuromi keychain attached to his hip.

Everything about Hyuntak was making his heart do multiple flips. 

He was snapped away from his thoughts after Hyuntak tried getting his attention. 

The workshop will start soon. Do you need help with that?

Before he could say anything, Hyuntak slipped the apron over Juntae’s head with care, his fingers brushing lightly against Juntae’s shoulders as he adjusted the straps. He moved behind him to tie the strings at the back, fingers working with ease but not in a rush.

The air felt different. Still.

Juntae could feel his heartbeat in his throat, oddly loud in the quiet moment. Hyuntak’s presence behind him was warm, calm, and deliberate.

I’ll be right back. 

Hyuntak informed them before disappearing somewhere and Juntae was left exploring the workshop by himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hyuntak tapping on the instructor’s shoulder to get her attention and then, like he felt Juntae’s stare from a mile away, he turned to look at Juntae. A single eye contact, and Juntae was fumbling. He somehow managed to make himself look busy but his heartbeats were running at a rapid rate.

—

“Hi, I am Hyuntak, I registered for the workshop yesterday. I had also sent in a special request.”

The instructor turned around, her eyes lighting up as she remembered. 

“Yeah you requested an instructor who knows sign language, right?” She recalled and Hyuntak nodded. 

“Luckily for you, I happen to know how to sign. My daughter uses sign language too so I naturally had to learn. But don’t worry, everything will go smoothly. If you feel you need any help, then call me.” She smiled sweetly. “Also, this might be a little personal, but may I ask why you asked for such a request?”

Hyuntak looked at Juntae who had not dared turn around again after their last eye contact and the instructor seemed to catch on pretty quick with that hint.

“Is he with you?”

“Yeah..” Hyuntak breathed slowly. 

The instructor followed Hyuntak’s gaze, her expression softening as it landed on Juntae.

Juntae stood a few paces away, absorbed in the delicate lines and gentle curves of a pale blue ceramic vase. The natural light spilling in through the studio windows bathed him in a quiet glow, outlining the soft slope of his shoulders and the way his hair, dark and slightly tousled, fell over his brow. His features were gentle. High cheekbones that didn’t cut sharply, a nose that curved smoothly rather than cut, and lips that held a certain thoughtful stillness.

His eyes, when he had briefly looked back earlier, had held a deep calm, almost shy in their quiet searching. There was stillness to him. Not the stillness of fear or detachment, but of someone who felt the world a little more carefully. Like the ceramics in front of him, he seemed shaped by quiet hands and patient time.

The instructor gave a knowing nod, her smile now tinged with something softer, understanding.
“I see,” she said gently. “You don’t need to explain. I’m glad you both are here.”

Hyuntak smiled faintly, a mix of relief and gratitude flickering in his eyes.

“He’s beautiful,” the instructor murmured to Hyuntak, still watching Juntae, though her tone was warm and respectful. “There’s a lot he doesn’t say out loud, isn’t there?”

Hyuntak looked at her, then back at Juntae.

“Yeah,” he said. “But I hear him anyway.”

She seemed content enough with that. 

“Do you know, today is International Sign Language day?” The instructor changed the topic, hoping to get back to reality.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, so even without your special request, I would’ve taught in sign language today either way.” The instructor nodded slowly, folding her arms in a loose, thoughtful gesture. “This place is made for quiet souls,” she said. “And for hands that speak more than mouths do.” She gave a friendly smile once again. “So, don’t worry. Enjoy the moment. Okay?”

Hyuntak’s lips curved slightly at that.

Hyuntak bowed down to say thank you before slightly jogging back to Juntae. He tapped on Juntae’s shoulder slightly. Juntae looked back at Hyuntak and then at the instructor standing behind him.

The instructor smiled and gave a small wave, then slowly signed, Nice to meet you.

A tiny pause, then Juntae blinked and his expression changed, for a split second into confusion, and then returned back to normal to show he understood. His shoulders relaxed the slightest bit, and he gave a small nod in return. It wasn’t much, but it was everything.

The instructor clapped her hands gently, her voice lifting just enough to gather the room’s attention without breaking its calm.

“Alright, everyone,” she said with a cheerful softness, “let’s get started.”

The studio was warm and earthy, the air filled with the faint scent of clay and glaze. Shelves lined the walls, filled with half-finished mugs, vases, bowls, each with its own quiet personality. The long tables in the center of the room were already set: small basins of water, blocks of clay wrapped in damp cloth, wire tools and wooden shaping sticks arranged neatly like a painter’s brushes waiting for their first stroke.

Hyuntak touched Juntae’s shoulder gently, signing to him as they moved toward the workstations.
We’re starting. You okay?

Juntae nodded, his eyes briefly meeting Hyuntak’s. There was something steady in his gaze now, a silent assurance that he was ready, even if only just.

—

“We’ll start simple,” she said, crouching beside the wheel and gesturing for them to sit. “Just get the feel of the clay first. No pressure to make anything perfect. Pottery isn’t about perfection anyways, it’s about presence.”

Juntae watched her hands more than her face as she spoke, and when she realized, she slowed her gestures, subtly signing as she explained. The instructor was good. Natural in the way she moved between spoken and signed language, like it was simply another part of her.

Juntae dipped his hands into the water and then reached for the clay. His fingers hesitated at first, just lightly pressing into the cool, malleable mass. Then slowly, almost experimentally, he began to shape it.

Hyuntak smiled, watching him with quiet pride. His own hands moved to the clay too, working in sync beside Juntae’s. Their elbows brushed every now and then, grounding. Wordless.

The instructor moved between students, offering tips, encouragement, and sometimes just a nod of approval. When she returned to their corner, she watched Juntae for a moment, then smiled.

She signed gently, 

You’re listening to the clay already. Look at you, mastering the basics so quickly..

Juntae glanced up, then signed with a small tilt of his lips,

It’s soft. Easy to talk to.

The instructor chuckled. “Exactly.”

They kept working, the rhythm of the wheel spinning beneath their palms, the sound of clay yielding and reshaping filling the space like a quiet heartbeat. Across the table, another student asked a question, and the instructor stepped away, giving them their moment.

Hyuntak leaned in closer to Juntae,

Do you like it?

Juntae looked down at the slowly forming bowl in his hands. Still lopsided, still uneven, but undeniably his.

He nodded.

Your bowl looks..

Juntae had a better look at Hyuntak’s “bowl” which was just a lump of clay because Hyuntak couldn’t figure out how to work on the wheel without making the clay run away. 

..amazing.

You are the worst at lying

Hyuntak huffed.

But I guess that’s what makes you cute.

Juntae was caught off guard. He blinked once, then twice. 

Did Hyuntak just call him cute?

He was acting like saying that was completely natural. Little did he know, Juntae could practically see himself at the ER with the heat he could feel rushing in his cheeks. 

Can I help you?

Juntae signed. 

Well, it looks like I need it. 

Just follow me then.

He felt a soft grab on his arm which made him stop in his tracks. It was Hyuntak. He looked down to see how he had accidentally stained Juntae’s shirt with his messy hands and apologised profusely. 

Can you just do it for me? I have been trying to follow, but I cannot understand a single thing.

Juntae stared at Hyuntak for a while before getting up from his seat and reaching out for Hyuntak’s arm with a ‘Can I?’ look. Hyuntak didn’t seem like he was still on Earth but he managed to let out a breathy ‘yes’. Juntae guided Hyuntak’s arm, holding it close enough to mesh them into one. He worked Hyuntak’s hand on the wheel like it was his own and would occasionally adjust Hyuntak’s fingers which were stiff for some reason. Once the “bowl” had started to resemble a bowl, Juntae let go of Hyuntak’s hands.

He would be lying if he didn’t admit that it made his stomach twist and turn. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach going rabid just at the mere touch of Hyuntak’s forearm against his delicate fingers. When he pulled away he realised that he too had made a mess out of Hyuntak by using his own dirty fingers while guiding. When Hyuntak noticed, he let out a small laugh.

I guess we are even now?

He signed, his hands still dirty from the wet clay. Juntae nodded in embarrassment.the instructor clapped her hands once more, her tone warm and gentle.

“Alright, everyone, that’s all for today,” she said with a smile. “Go ahead and label your designs with the toothpick provided. Be careful and use a unique label and then set your pieces on the drying shelves. Make sure to clean your stations before you leave. You all did beautifully.”

Around the room, chairs scraped quietly against the floor as students rose, stretching sore shoulders and admiring their creations. Imperfect, a little wonky, but full of care. There was a light, shared satisfaction in the air.

Hyuntak and Juntae stood together, both looking down at the bowls they had made. Juntae’s was a little uneven at the rim, but it had a shape that felt deliberate, gentle. It curved inward as if meant to hold something soft – tea, light, quiet moments. Hyuntak’s was wider, more structured, but clearly made with the same care. They placed them side by side on the drying rack.

Both of these are lovely!

 She signed. 

You’ll come back next week to glaze them?

Hyuntak nodded, then looked to Juntae, who offered a small but certain nod as well.

The instructor smiled. 

Good. I’ll look forward to seeing you both.

As they gathered their things, the light outside had shifted. The gold of late afternoon casting long, honey-colored shadows across the floor. The studio felt quieter now. The pair walked out in the sun, it was tame enough to be enjoyed. 

Where to go next? Do you want to eat?

Juntae’s expression changed. He frowned before keeping his hands on his hips, like he was annoyed. 

Why do you keep asking me if I want to eat every time we meet? 

Juntae pouted dramatically. 

I can do many other things besides eating too, you know?

He crossed his arms and huffed again. 

Hyuntak couldn’t help but let out a laugh. 

So, what should we do?

Juntae thought over it before replying,

Should we roam around the lake for a while? The weather is nice.

Hyuntak nodded. He was okay with anything as long as it was with Juntae. 

—

The walk wasn’t long. The world had quieted into that perfect in-between moment where the sky still held light, but the streets had grown still.They found a spot near the edge, where the grass sloped gently toward the water. A willow tree arched above them, its long branches trailing toward the surface like fingers tracing a secret.

Hyuntak swiped on the ground for them to sit. Juntae sat cross-legged, pulling his knees close, watching the light ripple over the lake.

Neither of them spoke for a while.

And they didn’t need to.

The wind carried the faint rustle of leaves, and a small group of ducks glided across the water, leaving soft trails in their wake. Everything about the moment felt slow and deliberate, like it had waited just for them.

Juntae leaned his head against Hyuntak’s shoulder without warning, just a gentle tilt, like a thought made physical. Hyuntak blinked, then slowly rested his head against Juntae’s in return.

They stayed like that, close and quiet.

After a while, Hyuntak lifted his hand and signed softly,

I like it here.

Juntae’s reply was simple.

Me too.

Hyuntak looked out at the lake, then back at Juntae, studying the way the soft light kissed his face, how peaceful he looked. Juntae got up after a while and looked at Hyuntak with determination.

We don’t know much about each other despite us being friends. So, let’s get to know each other!

Juntae smiled.

So, what do you want to know about me?

Juntae thought over it for a while before replying,

What is your dream?

Woah, that’s a …

How does one sign, ‘difficult’..

That’s an interesting question. 

Hyuntak settled with that. 

I had a dream. I wanted to be an athlete. But I can’t do that anymore. I honestly don't have a dream anymore.

Hyuntak confessed. Junate’s lips parted slightly in surprise but he shook his head and got back on topic. 

So, you just do deliveries?

Hyuntak nodded in response. 

Ah, that’s good too. 

What about you? What is your dream?

I… 

Juntae wandered in his thoughts for a while.

I want to see my brother compete in the Olympics. 

But that isn’t your dream?

For me, nothing is more important than my brother. If he succeeds then I succeed too. 

Hyuntak did not push much after that. 

The silence between them was not awkward or heavy, it was gentle, like an exhale shared between two people who didn’t need any more conversations between them, their presence was enough. It wrapped around them like a worn blanket, soft and familiar, stitched from every quiet glance, every shared moment of understanding, every pause they’d never felt the need to fill.

Juntae shifted slightly, his shoulder brushing Hyuntak’s. He didn’t move away. He stayed. 

But that was before Juntae’s phone started vibrating in his pocket.

I’ll be right back

Initially, Hyuntak was confused but he nodded in acknowledgement as Juntae walked away in a corner.

He picked up the call. 

We are calling to inform you that Mr. Sieun has gotten into an accident, please reach to XXX Hospital as soon as you can.

Like that, the dreamlike date had shattered right in front of Juntae.

Chapter Text

The first sound that Juntae heard, or the first that he distinctly remembers was a screech of a car stopping. A hefty man walked out, shutting the door sharply and huffing with anger. His heavy footsteps crashing against the gravel and his ragged breaths. Juntae clasped his brother’s shirt and pulled him closer, hoping somehow the man would have mercy on them. They were just little kids after all. 

“Are you kids okay?” He crouched down, his voice low and deep. Juntae felt a shiver run down his spine. He held Sieun’s sleeve tighter and nodded before rushing his little steps across the road, pulling Sieun along with him. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, but it was the man's voice that echoed louder and louder in his mind, as if the world itself were narrowing to that one sound.

Juntae was used to not hearing sounds frequently, mostly because he would stuff his ears with earplugs whenever he could. Sound wasn’t a necessity in his home, words, especially spoken ones, were rare. He was a CODA.

Child of Deaf Adults.

After Sieun, born completely deaf, Juntae’s ability to hear had come as a surprise. But he never saw his family’s silence as a burden. He was proud of them, fiercely so. Still, in the quiet moments, a part of him carried a weight of guilt. He felt different. Sometimes isolated.

He often felt like an intruder in their world. A world that was 

Whole,

Self-sufficient, 

Silent. 

A world he could never fully enter, no matter how fluent he became in its language.

Sometimes, he would stare at old photos of the four of them, his parents' quiet strength, Sieun’s gentle smile, and feel like an outsider. Like someone who had wandered into a painting and didn’t quite belong in the frame.

Don’t get Juntae wrong, he loved his family and his family loved him back tenfold. 

Their parents never made him feel like he didn’t belong. His mother’s hands were graceful, full of love, always in motion when she spoke. His father’s silence was heavy but comforting, like a steady heartbeat in a quiet room. Still, there were things Juntae could never explain to them. Sounds he couldn’t describe. Fears he didn’t have the words to sign. 

So he overcompensated. He became the bridge. The interpreter. The protector. Always present, always helping. If something broke, he fixed it. If someone spoke, he translated. If the world outside made things hard, he stood between it and his family. He made their dreams as his.

And yet, in moments like this, when two worlds collided, the strain became unbearable.

In the hearing world, he was too quiet. Too different.
In the deaf world, he was too loud. Too hearing.

Always in between. Never fully in either.

And when those worlds met, like on that roadside, with the weight of a stranger’s voice pressing into him—it was like standing in the middle of a crash.

And every time, the wreckage tore a little more of him apart.

By the time Juntae reached the hospital, only one name echoed in his mind.

Hyuntak.

Even now, amid sirens, cold corridors, and the weight of the unknown, his thoughts were consumed by him. By how he must be feeling. By the fact that Juntae had left him behind, alone, without a word of explanation.

There hadn’t been time. No moment to pause, to explain, to say, “I’ll be back.”

He’d just run. Like he did before.

“Juntae?”

A voice cut through the bleak, sterile hallway, snapping him out of his thoughts. He turned toward it, heart pounding.

A doctor stood nearby, expression tight, eyes sharp with concern. He motioned Juntae over and gently pulled him aside.

“Sieun is your brother, correct?”

Juntae nodded silently, his throat suddenly dry.

The doctor exhaled, a slow and measured breath before speaking.

“He is unconscious for now. We will have to wait for him to wake up. But with the location of the injury, we suspect a significant problem might arise. When he wakes up, it is possible his motor abilities might be hindered for a while.”

The words hit like cold steel. Juntae stood frozen, the sterile hallway spinning around him. He heard the doctor’s voice, but it sounded distant now, muted, like everything else in his world had just gone quiet.

Again.

Juntae didn’t respond right away.

He couldn’t.

The doctor’s words were still ringing in his ears, slicing through his very being. He stared past the doctor, eyes unfocused, as if hoping the world around him would disappear.

Sieun

Who couldn’t sleep properly even in the softest light, now laid unconscious in his bed. Amidst the bright white hospital lights. Eyes closed. Motionless. His head wrapped in white gauze, a monitor gently beeping beside him. An IV in his arm. His chest rose and fell, slow but steady.

Alive.

But too quiet.

Juntae was the one at fault here. 

He shouldn’t have left Sieun’s side. He should’ve stayed. Right beside Sieun. 

It was too late though, the damage had been done. He still sat beside Sieun, holding his rough hands and wrapping them tightly in his own and with shaky breath he spoke,

“I’m here,” he whispered, letting his voice croak for the first time in a while. “You’re okay. You just need to wake up now, okay?”

His voice cracked at the end, trembling with everything he was trying not to feel. His voice had practically lost its purpose. Sieun didn’t move.

The silence in the room stretched, and for the first time, Juntae felt powerless in it. Usually, silence was safe. It was home. But this silence felt wrong, cold, unfamiliar, and terrifying.

He rested his forehead against their joined hands and let out a shaky breath.

“I should’ve been there,” he murmured. “I should’ve protected you, with all that I could. I should’ve been there for you.”

Outside, the hospital carried on. Nurses moving, machines clicking, life continuing.

But in Room 149, time stood still.

—

Juntae clicked the door open to his empty house. The silence wasn’t normal anymore, it was burdening. The hospital's fluorescent lights and antiseptic air clung to Juntae’s skin, with no intention of letting go. Keys still in his hand, staring into the dim hush of his home. It should’ve been comforting, familiar walls, his shoes by the door, the faint scent of reheating dinner lingering in the air. But nothing felt real. The silence here didn’t wrap around him like it used to, it pressed down. 

The house didn’t greet him warmly. It just sat with him, heavy in its silence.

And for the first time in a long time, he let himself cry. Not the silent kind. Not the quiet ache he wore like armor. But the full, breaking, unraveling kind. The kind that left you empty and aching in ways no one could fix.

Because the worst part wasn’t just that Sieun was hurt.

It was that Juntae wasn’t there for him when Sieun needed him.

He turned his phone on, which had drained by now. He wished the world to disappear, or better yet, swallow him completely. His phone dinged with messages, one after the other, and he was sure whom it must be from. Even though it felt wrong, Juntae was too tired to explain everything to Hyuntak. His heart was already too sore from today. 

He didn’t take the effort to change into something comfortable or tuck himself in bed. He just laid in silence, crouched like a baby, closing his eyes and hoping it was all a dream. 

He heard the cicadas louder tonight. 

A cruel reminder of the present.

He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get rid of his guilt, even if he tried suppressing it. 

⟢

Hyuntak had a sleepless night.

Did he do something wrong? Was he overstepping? Did Juntae not like him?

He paced around his room the whole night, to the point his legs had started to give up. The pain in his previously injured leg, once dulled by time, returned with a vengeance, flaring up with each uneven step. His fingers curled into fists as he stopped by the window, staring blankly at the lights outside. Just more questions, and a growing sense that something between them had changed and he didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t even know what he was supposed to fix.

The next morning came too quickly.

Hyuntak hadn’t noticed when he’d finally sat down, or when sleep had taken him, but the stiff ache in his neck and the dull throb in his leg told him he hadn’t moved in hours. The pale light of morning filtered through the half drawn curtains, casting long shadows across the floor.

He blinked against the brightness, groggy and disoriented, the weight of last night settling over him like a second skin. The questions were still there, waiting patiently in the corners of his mind, unchanged by time or sleep. He was a mess, still stuck in constraints of his feelings. 

Dragging himself to his feet, he winced as pain shot up his leg. He moved slower now, cautious, every step a reminder that nothing about today was going to be easy.

His phone sat on the bedside table, untouched. A part of him wanted to check it. Maybe Juntae had messaged. Maybe there was some kind of sign, some sliver of clarity waiting for him. 

But another part of him hesitated. What if there was nothing? What if the silence stretched on, confirming his worst fears?

He stood there for a long moment, staring at the screen, heart caught in that quiet space between hope and dread. And then it lit up.

Jieun Teacher

Jieun Teacher

Hi Hyuntak!

Your item is ready. You can take it home and paint it.

Thank you so much for joining the special workshop!

If you want you can continue classes with me since I take classes as well.

Also, if it's not too much trouble, can you ask your partner to come with you too?

I don’t have his contact, and his work is ready too. 

He felt a heavy weight settle in his chest. Everything reminded him of Juntae. 

Hyuntak

I’ll collect it for the both of us.

Thank you for the opportunity!

The air in the room felt heavier somehow, like it too was mourning something unnamed. He rubbed his eyes, dragging his palm down his face, then limped over to his closet. He heard his mother’s muffled voice calling out for Hyuntak and knocking on his door before slowly letting herself in, the door clicking softly with it. 

“Breakfast is ready.” She silently answered. Hyuntak replied with a hum but didn’t pay much attention to her words. He picked out some shirt from the closet, not pressed in the slightest with all wrinkles visible in its glory. He did not even bother to check for any other as he shut the door to his closet, wanking the hanger out of the shirt and tossing it to the side.

He felt a slight pull at his shirt. It was his mother. 

“Sit down, I want to talk to you.” He whispered, her voice barely over the audible. 

He sat down, the bed underneath him shifting down in weight. Even the crumple of his blankets echoed in his ear, like a reminder that he was living in the present, and that hurt him more than he thought. 

“Hyuntak, I noticed a change in your behaviour since the past few days. I thought you finally found something or someone that made you happy, but,” She sighed. “Yesterday, you came home, dejected. I just want to know what’s wrong. You know you can talk to me right? I promise I won’t tell dad.” She completed her sentence, reaching her rough and working hands to hold Hyuntak’s young and promising ones. 

“Did someone hurt you? I saw you limping right now.” 

“It’s not that, it’s just.” Hyuntak sighed frustratingly. “It’s complicated.”

“Is it about a girl?” She whispered. 

Hyuntak was silent for a while. He had known he was different ever since he was young, though he never labelled it, but admitting it right now, felt necessary. So, he mustered up courage to let her know that,

“It’s a boy.” He admitted quietly. He could feel his heart beat in his ears and no matter how much he tried remaining cool about it. 

“Oh.” His mother blinked once, then twice, then clasped her hands tightly. “That’s alright. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a problem though. What did he do to you?”

“It’s not like he did something to me. Mom, I- I am just confused. What did I do wrong? It was all going so well and then suddenly he was just up and left. I don't know what’s wrong and like it was, there was nothing wrong at all. The day was going exactly like I planned and I wanted to confess to him but, it- it just didn’t happen and somehow i think it’s my fault but I don’t know what exactly-” He felt his tears threaten to fall and he felt his lips trembling, but before they could, he felt his mother’s hand sneak around his head and pull him closer, letting him cry on her shoulder. 

“So what if he just left you like that? He cannot do that to you. You’re allowed to cry over it. It’s okay.” She patted his head slowly. Hyuntak’s eyes were shimmering as he pulled away from her embrace and looked at her. 

“He is not a bad person, ma. He is the sole caretaker of his family. You know, he dreams of seeing his brother at the Olympics. He does everything for that even if that means he doesn’t get time to eat. He,” Hyuntak breathed an exhale he wasn’t aware he held. “He lives his life earnestly, Mom. Loves his brother a lot and he would never hurt anyone. Maybe I am the one at fault here. I must be. I just don’t know what I did wrong. I want to apologise to him and tell him that I am willing to improve myself.”

“So, why don’t you go talk to him?” His mother replied. "At least you know why he did that, right?”

“I don’t know if I can even face him. What would I even say to him?” He glanced at his phone, wondering about his texts to Juntae. And then it struck him. 

“Mom, I’ll be right back.” He ushered over to pick his shirt and scramble to the bathroom.

He had found his vision. 

⟢

Juntae stirred awake to the stifling stillness of the house. The air smelled stale, heavy with a night’s worth of silence and tears. His shirt clung to him, wrinkled and cold with old sweat, and the ache in his chest hadn’t lessened.

His phone, lying facedown on the floor beside the mattress, blinked with low battery.

When he turned it over, he didn’t open any of the messages. He scrolled past the notifications, seventeen from Hyuntak, two from an old friend, one from his workplace. His thumb hovered over Hyuntak’s name, but he didn’t press it.

He felt like a coward.

No, he was a coward.

Because the truth was, it wasn’t just about Sieun. It wasn’t just about guilt. It was about the way Hyuntak looked at him like he was worth something more than what he thought he was. It scared him. That gaze, so steady and honest, made him feel seen in ways that made escape seem safer than staying.

But now, he wasn't sure if there was anything left to escape to.

What could he say?

“Sorry I disappeared?”

“Sorry I shut you out?”

“Sorry I broke everything we were just starting to build?”

It felt hollow. Incomplete. Insincere. 

And that was the last thing he wanted to do to Hyuntak. A boy who was honest with him, honest about his feelings, his efforts. He locked the phone and let it fall back onto the mattress beside him. His fingers lingered over the edge of the bed, curled inwards like he was holding something invisible.

And then he heard a ring. 

Without seeing, he picked up the phone and held it close to his ear. 

“Hi this is from XXX Hospital,”

Before anything could even be said, he jumped up from his bed, grabbing his keys and heading out the door like his life depended on him.

⟢

Sieun woke slowly, like surfacing from underwater.

His breath caught in his throat as his senses returned one by one. The sterile smell of the hospital room, the stiffness of sheets tucked too tightly around his legs and the stiff air. 

His body felt like it wasn’t entirely his. Heavy, dull. A slight ache pulsed behind his temples, and his arm itched where the IV was taped down. He blinked, eyes adjusting to the dim morning light. Everything looked washed out. Pale.

For a moment, he wasn’t sure where he was. Or why.

Then the memories trickled back in.

The noise. The collapse. The paramedics. The cold panic in his chest.

And the crushing silence when he looked around and Juntae wasn’t there.

He turned his head slowly, wincing at the pull in his neck. The room was empty. No visitors, no familiar silhouettes curled up in an uncomfortable chair. Just a wilted cup of water, some instruments and a book and pen on the bedside table.

He let out a slow breath, chest rising and falling with the kind of exhaustion that had nothing to do with sleep. His fingers twitched against the sheets, the need for his phone itching at his skin, but it wasn’t on the bedside table. It must’ve died. Or been taken.

Then it clicked. 

Hyuntak’s friend.

He was sure he had seen him for a moment, just before the crash. He tried waking up, his IV pricking under his skin at the move. He ripped it open and tried slinging his legs over the bed. Under his feet was the cold marble floor, shunning his senses to a zero. He felt weak in the knees before he fell down, dropping some instruments on his table with him. He didn’t flinch a bit, he couldn’t even hear them fall. He simply moved, dragging his legs to the door before it flung over, revealing a tall figure standing in his way. 

When he got on his knees to help Sieun up, he finally saw his face clearly. 

It was Hyuntak’s friend. 

He held Sieun by the elbow and tried to pick him up while simultaneously speaking something he couldn’t understand. His focus was on the bandages he had, some over his face while the other near his knuckles and hands. For a while, time moved slowly and so did Hyuntak’s friend. His lips moved slower, mouth muttering something Sieun couldn’t quite figure out even by lip-reading. He felt a strong grab on his waist as he held him tightly, supporting him delicately to bring him back to bed. 

Soon enough the doctors in white coats arrived so it was safe to assume he was calling the doctors. 

The ran some basic checkups before rushing out again, mostly to call his brother. But Hyuntak’s friend stayed. 

This time he was speaking a bit slower so it was easy for Sieun to catch his words through lip reading.

Are you okay now?

Sieun figured he probably doesn’t know that Sieun can’t hear. He looked over again and picked up the pen and book to scribble down,

I can’t hear you. I am deaf. And I am fine. 

Thank you for asking.

What about you though?

He handed over the notebook and noticed him read the lines carefully. He picked the pen and scribbled back,

I didn’t get hurt as much as you. 

I was worried, you know?

I tried saving you but I ended up being a second late. I am sorry but,

I thought I should visit you. To know how you are doing, of course. 

I am glad you woke up. 

He handed it over to Sieun with hopeful eyes. For a moment, Sieun could not take his eyes off him. His face illuminated by the light behind him, his mole that glowed in its hues. His hair slicked with sweat and his shoulders wide like a fighter. His bandages that had been freshly replaced and a small cut on his lip that had swollen up a bit. 

But as soon as he snapped out his daze, he cleared his throat. He placed his pen on the paper, but strangely, it started feeling heavier than usual. When he tried writing something, his hands shivered, like he was getting pulled by his nerves. The pen trembled in Sieun’s hand.

He could feel the weight of his own heartbeat now, suddenly aware of how fragile everything felt. His fingers curled tightly around the pen, willing it to move, just write something, anything, but his body wasn’t cooperating. Not fully. The adrenaline was gone, leaving behind raw exhaustion and a nervous edge that set his limbs to shaking.

He looked down at the blank space on the page.

His hands, which were once known to be as steady as a rock, had started trembling. 

Sieun’s hands had started trembling.

And that meant,

He wouldn’t be able to hold the pistol properly. 

The pen rolled out of his hands like it was nothing. The moment he tried picking up the wilted cup of water, it slipped from his hands. Slowly it dawned upon him, but he was too scared to accept it.

⟢

Hyuntak stood before the studio. A place which was supposed to be a date for them, now turned into a memory. Hyuntak wasn’t sure if all of this was supposed to affect him the way he did, but he couldn’t help it. His hands in pocket, he walked in, wishing that somehow he would hold up well inside. He found the familiar silhouette of his teacher standing near the shelves, arranging some products which seemed to be a part of her new collection. As soon as she heard the chime ring, she turned around to see Hyuntak standing in the doorway.

She welcomed him inside, ushering him to sit in one of the empty stools. She walked in and returned with two pieces, one of Hyuntak and one of Juntae's. 

“Would you like them wrapped?”

“If it’s not too much of a bother.” Hyuntak softly spoke. 

She immediately walked to the side of the table with boxes and wrapping paper. While she cut up the paper, the sound echoing in the empty studio, Hyuntak wandered to view her collection. It was an impressive one, most of them being silly to-sell artworks that were beautifully painted with bright colours. 

And then, he stumbled upon a statue. 

It was still incomplete but the idea intrigued him.

It was a clay statue of a torso, perfectly crafted but with a major flaw at one point. At the side, the torso was falling off. The clay was moulded in a way to give the statue the look of cement and steel, with the side falling off showing damage that would normally be seen in a statue that was hammered on with the intention to destroy on one side. 

She stood beside him, the pack still in her hand as she let him analyze the piece. 

“What do you think? Pretty neat right?” She spoke up. 

“It’s nice. I didn’t know you also did sculpting.” 

“Pottery is a by-product. Sculpting was my true love. I occasionally try making big pieces but I never sell them. It’s usually for my own satisfaction.” 

“Why don’t you showcase them?”

“In an art museum? Nah, I am fine. I like it the way it is. Although, I am a bit curious about what you think about it.”

Hyuntak took a while before replying, “I am not sure, it just feels like someone is trying to destroy a perfectly good statue.”

“Hm. I thought otherwise.” She hummed. “I think it's more about the fact that you never know what the other is going through. The statue is getting destroyed but it hasn’t crumbled yet. I feel the destroying part is a slow process. But I see what you are trying to say too.” 

Hyuntak apologised in embarrassment. “Sorry, I don’t usually think too much. Your meaning of this work definitely makes more sense though.”

“Everyone can have a different view point. That was your view. Maybe your partner thinks differently. It’s only through words do you find out what they truly see.” She gazed at her work a bit more before snapping out from her thoughts. “Anyways, your gift. Feel free to join our regular classes if you are interested and thank you for joining the workshop. It was great to have you here.”

Hyuntak bowed down as he received the boxes before exiting out the studio with a sense of relief wash over him. 

⟢

Juntae hadn't run in years.

Not like this. Reckless, breathless, wild with panic and thoughts crashing over each other like waves. The hospital came into view around the corner, its sterile walls and bright signage looming like a lighthouse and a storm all at once.

His feet hit the pavement hard, lungs burning from the cold slap of wind, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t. The air felt thinner the closer he got, like the world was squeezing him from every side. As if it knew

He was too late again.

The doors slid open with a mechanical hiss, too slow for how frantically his body moved. He nearly slammed into a nurse at the reception, words tumbling out faster than his breath.

“Sieun. Yeon Sieun. He was brought in yesterday. Where is he?”

The nurse blinked, surprised at his disheveled state. Hair sticking to his forehead, hands scraped from where he'd stumbled earlier, clothes wrinkled, damp with sweat and regret.

“Still in his room. Room 149.”

He dashed to his room, with eyes fiercer than before and the door banged open to Sieun sitting on his bed with Hyuntak’s friend beside him. It was hardly any time for small talk though, he rushed beside Sieun, who seemed dazed. Hyuntak’s friend got up awkwardly, before waving a small goodbye and heading out the door, giving the brothers some time to themselves. 

How are you now?

He signed, still huffing, still out of breath. 

I.. am.. Fine.

He moved his hands slowly, but Juntae noticed it. He always did. 

Why are your hands trembling?

It’s nothing.

Stop lying, Hyung.

Sieun was silent for a while. Juntae could hear the machine mechanically beeping and somehow that was the only thing breaking the tension in the air. 

“Hyung..”

He engulfed Sieun’s hand in his own, clasping them in his palms. His eyes pleading, tired and completely broken. Sieun didn’t react, simply stared back at Juntae, holding his lips before they too started trembling. He was good at holding back tears and right now, Sieun didn’t want to cry in front of his brother. 

It’s okay, Juntae-yah.

He swapped his hand over his face, his pinky sticking out, still trembling and his thumb tucked in. It was Juntae’s face name.

A clear sound.

Sieun was the one who gave him that name, and right now, he couldn’t even manage to sign it properly. He simply looked away, fearing Juntae might see his eyes well up in tears. Without looking, Sieun signed,

Go away.

I want to be alone for a while.

But Juntae wasn’t done yet. He could feel his chest twisting in pain. He kept tugging at Sieun’s hospital gown, trying to catch his attention but it was of no use. In the end, he walked out of the room, his steps still willing to turn back. 

He closed the door to Sieun’s room softly before noticing the doctor coming his way. 

“Good you are here, I need to talk to you.”

“His hands.. they are trembling…”

“I know, I told you yesterday, given the location of his injury, it is possible he loses his motor skills for a while. Luckily, it’s temporary since the injury is not deep.”

“How long?”

“It will take him around a month or two to get back to normal with physiotherapy.”

“His tryouts are in a week's time!”

“I know but you need to let his wound heal.”

“These tryouts are extremely important to him sir, he cannot afford to miss it.” Juntae was starting to sound desperate. He simply hoped for any hope. Any kind. Anything.

“I understand your sentiments, but you do realise his health is important right? You cannot let him compete in these situations.” The doctor warned strictly, though it was only meant out of care. “I need you to understand this, and make him understand this too. You can do that right?” 

Juntae was too devastated to even listen anymore. 

He was the cause of all of this.

He ruined his brother’s life.

“We will discharge him by this evening after some procedures and then let him do physiotherapy till he gets better.”

Juntae hardly registered, the words still echoing in his mind like some curse. He hummed and the doctor walked away, leaving him restless. 

—

He wasn’t sure how, but his footsteps led him to the sports centre. He looked at the entrance like it had cursed him. His gaze was fierce but it was obvious he wasn’t completely stable right now. A whirlwind of emotions had been brewing in his mind for a while now. And it didn’t help when he walked in. 

Hyuntak walked in with an honest face and two boxes in his hand. He was searching for Juntae and by the time Juntae realised that, their eyes had already locked, as if they recognised each other. He jogged, before stopping for a while, holding his leg like it had been paining for a while. He limped the rest of his way over and Juntae tried avoiding eye contact. He couldn’t keep the act on for long after Hyuntak waved his hand in front of Juntae, forcing him to look. 

Hi. 

Hi. 

The awkward tension was visible from miles away. 

I visited the studio today. Our pieces were ready. The teacher asked me to give you yours. 

Juntae simply received it, not saying a word more. 

Are you okay?

His eyes had lost their glow, they were desperate. 

I tried contacting you. Did you not see my texts?

No. I didn’t. 

He showed his phone to show it had shut down. 

I am sorry, but let’s not meet again. Please don’t contact me either. 

Juntae walked away but was stopped by Hyuntak who pulled him by the sleeve. This time Juntae turned around, biting his lips in an attempt to stop his tears from falling. Hyuntak’s smile had faded and Juntae was the one responsible for it. He held Juntae by his arms, jolting him a bit before signing,

Did I do something wrong?

Juntae didn’t answer. 

Don’t you think I deserve to know what happened? 

His hands moved swiftly, desperate as if time was running out. 

Don’t you think I owe an explanation? Any clue? Anything?

You just walked out in the middle of our day, Juntae. 

You cannot do that. Not without telling me what I did wrong. 

Juntae had enough. He couldn’t keep it from him anymore. 

Hyuntak. I can only handle one person. And currently, he is in the hospital. 

And it was all my fault. 

Because I became selfish. 

I went out with you. I ignored my responsibilities. 

I cannot do that again. Life is difficult as it is. 

Hyuntak stopped Juntae,

You are signing too fast, I can’t catch up. 

Juntae paused in his tracks, then removed a pen from Hyuntak’s pocket and scribbled on Hyuntak’s box. 

I cannot afford to be with you. Not like this.

With that, Juntae walked away, his tears finally making its way.

⟢

Days passed since Hyuntak last talked to Juntae. He hardly got to see him anymore. He heard the rest from Suho, who visited him after his visit to Sieun. In a way, he understood Juntae, but at the same time, it hurt him more than he could imagine. He tried every method to distract himself, but none of them were successful enough to keep Juntae out of his mind. 

Somehow, his steps would always lead to the sports center which now held only painful memories. Somewhere in his mind, he was hoping that Juntae would show up, they wouldn’t talk if he wanted it that way, but at least, he could get a glimpse of him. But he never showed up. 

Hyuntak ended up spending the rest of his time, laying in his bed, occasionally looking at the Kuromi keychain which would be placed at his bedside. It reminded him of Juntae and even if it hurt him, he couldn’t bring himself to keep it elsewhere. 

His father entered the room shortly after, which prompted Hyuntak to sit up straight.

“Would you be open to making a delivery?”

Hyuntak nodded as he got up to throw on a hoodie and then followed his dad to the store. 

“These are for delivery, right?” He picked up the packs left at the counter. He heard his mother hum in agreement and the boy walked out of the store, hoping that the fresh air would unburden him somehow. He drove to the old sports center, where the delivery was supposed to be made. It had lost some popularity, especially since people preferred the new one but the old still had loyal users. 

He parked his bike and got up to climb the stairs. With his packets dangling in one hand, he looked around a bit and then he spotted him.

Juntae, with Sieun. 

For a moment, he stopped, seeing him walk for a while, but it was as if Juntae felt his stare and he looked back, only to lock eyes with him, for a split second. No words were spoken but they felt something break between the two, and it looked like Sieun noticed it too. Hyuntak hurried back inside, his heart still beating and his stomach still fluttering with butterflies. 

He was glad that Juntae was doing well.

Because that was all that mattered.

At least to him. 

⟢

I want to see our old gym.

Sieun signed to Juntae. 

All of a sudden?

Yeah. I want to see it. I want to try holding the pistol.

Sieun, the doctor said you cannot do that until the physiotherapy is complete. 

I am not going to the tryouts anyways. I just want to hold the pistol, I promise I won’t shoot. 

Juntae fell silent. The mention of tryouts hurt Juntae more than he could imagine. It was a cold reminder of his inability. His crime. 

His audacity to steal Sieun’s dream like that. Snatch it before he could even succeed. It struck him a bit too hard. Sieun acted like he was fine with it, like the tryouts weren't a big deal but Juntae knew how this affected him. And he was the one who was responsible for it. 

Before Juntae could think any further, Sieun dragged him over, slowly stepping out with him. 

See? We can walk to the old gym like this and it can count as exercise

Sieun walked along the sidewalk with Juntae. It was clear Juntae was not paying attention. 

By the time they reached the centre, he could see Juntae getting more tired. More distant. 

You can stay here if you are tired, I’ll make it quick. 

Sieun motioned. 

No. No, it's fine. I’ll come with you. 

You really don’t have to, Juntae.

I have to keep an eye on you. 

Sieun didn’t bother arguing after that. They reached the range where some were already practicing their shots. Sieun slipped into an empty one and picked up the pistol. It trembled in his hand slightly, but it wasn’t as bad as Sieun imagined. He clicked the gun and loaded it with rubber balls before raising his hand and aiming at the board. Now his hand trembled significantly more. He couldn’t focus on the target board and after some time, he gave up. 

It was of no point. 

Meanwhile, Juntae looked at him. Seeing him tremble made his heart crush into pieces. 

The guilt started settling in. 

Sieun simply kept his pistol down and walked over to Juntae. Partly satisfied with the fact that he was at least able to hold the pistol he yearned for. But seeing Juntae’s face told him otherwise. 

While they were heading out, he felt a grab on his wrist and he turned around to see Juntae, his face ridden with guilt. 

I am sorry, Sieun.

It’s my fault.

Because of me, your dream,

Sieun stopped him.

What about your dream?

What do you dream of, Juntae?

Juntae’s eyes morph from regret to confusion. 

Do you only care about my dream?

Juntae answered,

Your dream is my dream.

My dream is only mine. You don’t get to claim it, Juntae. 

Sieun signed, agitated. Desperate. 

Do you even hear yourself? Does it even make any sense?

Why would you sacrifice your dream for me?

Juntae was shocked but he replied, 

What do you mean? What’s wrong?

Sieun sighed, his tears finally catching up to him. His eyes were sore but he continued, his hands still trembling as he signed. 

Don’t you get it?

Picking me up and dropping me off, doing multiple jobs to pay for my training, attending lectures, seeing me play. You don’t even take care of yourself. When will you live your life, huh? Juntae, I appreciate what you do for me, I really do. But after a while, your kindness becomes a burden. I know what you are trying to do is purely for my sake but Juntae-yah, I don’t want to be the boulder, stopping you from living your life. 

He paused for a bit, Sieun biting his lip to keep his tears from falling anymore. 

This is all because of me. Do you ever think, how it makes me feel, seeing you like this? It feels like I am dragging you down. You know what I first thought when I got to know I am going to miss my tryouts? I wasn’t regretful of my practice hours being wasted or my dream being shattered. 

I was scared to see you disappointed. Because, seeing you disappointed, hurted more than that. 

I’ll figure something out with my life eventually but Juntae,

He held Juntae’s hand in his

I want to see you live your life. Like you want to. When I saw you with him, you looked less burdened, like he washed all your worries away. I want to see you like that again. 

They stayed there for a while, in silence. 

Take your time, Juntae.

Sieun walked out but Juntae was quick to follow. And that’s when he saw him.

With his delivery packages. Still the same as he used to be. He looked dull, but that didn’t take away his natural shine. He was still noticeable, even from miles away. When they locked eyes, he noticed a glint in them, like there were still some unspoken conversations between them. Both of them, too afraid to speak. 

Sieun seemed to notice that too. 

⟢

“Why don’t you go talk to him?” Baku climbed on Hyuntak’s bed, settling himself on it. “You were sure you felt a spark right? Maybe he felt it too.”

“He told me not to contact him anymore.” Hyuntak interjected. “I got dumped, I need to move on.”

“But, he did say it wasn’t your fault right? Maybe he still has feelings for you, his situation is just not great.” 

“Baku, can you stop filling ideas into my head? I’ll start being hopeful for no reason again.” He grabbed the Kuromi keychain and plopped onto his bed, the keychain hovering in his hand. “As a good friend, you need to tell me to move on.”

“As a good friend, I am supposed to knock some sense into your head.” 

“With that 99 IQ of yours? I am better off, thank you.” 

“I told you I didn’t finish the test on time. Also, in love matters, I am definitely better than you.”

“Still can’t pick up girls, though.”

“Coaches don’t play.”

“Keep telling yourself that bud.” Hyuntak got up. “How is your brother, though?”

“Stop deflecting the topic, and yes he is fine now thank you for asking. But you are trying to distract me and it’s not going to work.” Hyuntak threw an imaginary toss. “You need to talk to him.”

“You are no better than Suho.” Hyuntak groaned as he got up from his bed, hooking the Kuromi keychain on his trousers. “You can leave my room now.”

“You treat all your one night stands like this, or is it just me?”

“You are being particularly bratty today, I need to throw you out.”

“Ain’t no way you are talking to me like that? What about the times we spent together?”

“Shut up, Baku.”

“You are no fun, Gogo.”

“Hyuntak!” He heard his mother call and he swore it couldn’t be at a better timing. “I’ll do the deliveries!” He answered before his mother could even ask. He bolted to the store and picked up the parcels before dashing out to his bike. He looked up at the address and his smile dropped. 

It was the old sports centre again. 

This was not going to end well. 

⟢

Juntae knew what he was doing when he ordered dinner. The sun was about to set and the gym was slowly starting to get empty. Juntae stood in the empty range, loading rubber bullets in and aiming straight. He wasn’t great at it but he was decent enough to shoot near the 7 to 8 points range consistently. By the time he was practicing, only a single light shone in the empty range, and it was his. All players had retreated back home, probably out drinking or enjoying like one would normally do, but Juntae was waiting for someone. And he happened to appear right at the moment. 

Hyuntak had slammed open the door. He wasn’t visible in the dark, but he knew it was him. But instead of stepping forward, he stood silently. 

Juntae didn’t move, he just kept shooting. 

And then he heard a voice.

“I am sorry, Jun.”

It echoed in the empty range. Juntae stayed silent, pretending to load bullets. 

“And I am apologising because, I don’t think I ever understand you fully. That day, after you left me, or rather I was dumped, I got to know what happened from Suho. I thought I understood you, but I didn’t. Honestly, after that day, I felt lonelier than before. You were a big part of my day, Jun-ah. Every little thing reminded me of you. If I really understood you, I would’ve moved on, but I can’t. I like seeing you smile, it makes me feel better. I like making food for you, because it helps you be healthy. I don’t think I am ready to let that go yet. It’s honestly foolish and asshole-ish of me and you can hate me all you want for that. But, I can’t move on. Not from you. Even now, I am standing here, knowing you wouldn’t hear me anyways. But, I like you. More than you can imagine. More than I could imagine.”

He walked into the light and tapped on Juntae’s shoulder which prompted him to turn around. Hyuntak simply handed over the package in his hand and walked away, but it was not before Juntae turned him around, got on his toes and left a small peck on his lips. 

It wasn’t deep, but it was personal. Intimate. Slow.

The type of softness that leaves it traces and lingers in your heart. 

Hyuntak’s eyes widened but Juntae wasn’t bothered by it. 

Can I work at your shop? I think I would suit there. 

By the time Hyuntak could assemble himself, Juntae sneaked his hand and wrapped it around Hyuntak’s. With the free one, he signed,

I’m sorry.

“I like you too, Tak-ah.”

Juntae finally spoke. Breathy, but still there. 

Hyuntak hummed before it even registered in his mind,

He pointed to Juntae to sign you first, then realised that it was useless and he spoke instead. 

“You can talk?”

“And listen, yes.”

“So, wait a minute.” The more Hyuntak tried getting into it, the more confused he got. “So, you heard what I said just now?”

Juntae nodded. 

“Why didn’t you speak when we first met?”

“I thought you couldn’t hear.” Juntae admitted.

It all clicked like a puzzle. 

“So, do I get the chance to work at Hyuntak’s store? I have conditions, obviously.”

“Like what?” Hyuntak wrapped his hands around Juntae’s waist and pulled him closer. 

“First, the owner, Hyuntak, makes me meals everyday because I enjoy them a lot. Second, I get to leave early on some days so that I can focus on Sieun’s physiotherapy and Third, I get to kiss you like this,”

Juntae pulled Hyuntak by his head and rested his lips on his before waiting for a signal. Hyuntak caught on pretty quickly as he opened his mouth, letting Juntae work his way. After all, he was at Juntae’s mercy. His hands roamed around Juntae’s back and Juntae wasted no time but to pin him on a wall behind. Hyuntak took it as a challenge as he turned around, now locking Juntae in as he slowly lifted him up, letting Juntae’s leg wrap around his torso. Hyuntak rested his arm on the wall, the other holding him still before Juntae broke away, his face flushed red. 

“That’s it for today, Mr. Go Hyuntak. I have to pay for the meal too.”

“You already did.” Hyuntak smirked, his eyes glistening.