Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

New Year’s Eve, December 31st. 11:48 pm.

It wasn’t a big surprise that your mom—Allie Stevens—had thrown a big party for New Year's; in fact, she did it nearly every year. This year was no different from the last. Fancy string lights, plenty of store-bought snacks, plastic cups, and cheap champagne. She made a whole show of it; she loved being a host. You could hear the sound of people inside the house, talking and laughing with each other. The sound had mixed with the TV, some channel playing a live stream from New York to show its ball drop. Unlike the partygoers inside, you were sitting out on the back porch. Cold air stung at your face, biting at the sensitive skin. You leaned against the railing of the porch, your fingers tugging the fabric of the long-sleeved sweater you had worn over your palms for warmth.

“You out here all by yourself?” A sweet-sounding voice called out from behind.

It was a familiar sound, one that made your heart jump in your chest. You glanced over your shoulder, spotting the figure of an older woman: Shauna Sadecki, the former soccer ‘star’ from the local high school in New Jersey. Shauna wasn’t exactly friends with your mom; you knew that. It was evident in the way Shauna acted around her. You never knew exactly why she had kept coming to these things; you just knew that one day, three years ago, she popped up and decided to come every year.

“Oh… uh, yeah. ‘Just needed to get away from all the commotion inside.” You flushed, watching her approach. Shauna went up to the railing where you stood, hands reaching out to rest against it much like yours. She was standing fairly close to you; it was distracting. Maybe it was crude to think, but she was for sure a milf. There was no doubting that. Or maybe your tastes were just crazy. Either way, her standing next to you now made your nerves light up. For three years now, you’ve seen her at these silly parties, every single time you’ve always gone dumb around her. She had something heavy about her; it was in her eyes.

She glanced down at you, the corners of her mouth twitching up in a small, friendly smile. “I know what you mean, your mom certainly knows how to throw a party.” She chuckled awkwardly. You watched her from beneath your lashes, looking at every micro-expression that her face made. You paused for a moment, eyes flitting to her hands that rested on the railing.

“Why do you come to these things? I don’t recall you and my mom being too close before—like, ever.” You questioned, glancing back up at her face now to watch her. “I need to get out of the house more.” She replied, shrugging her shoulders that were covered up in a brown coat. You could see Shauna look at you, dark brown eyes staring with curiosity. It felt like she was studying your face, almost in the same way you had been doing with hers. “So, are you ready for your winter break to end?” She asked, trying to change the subject from her rather bleak home life. You shrugged, cringing internally at the thought of returning to your college classes. “Yeah, I guess.” You mumbled. “You go to Rutgers, right? I, uh, used to have plans to attend that university a long time ago. Is it fun?” Shauna’s voice seemed distant for a moment, almost like she got lost in a stray thought. You shrugged. “It can be.”
There was an awkward silence after that, like the small talk was catching up. Underneath the weird air, there had been something else buzzing beneath. You chalked it up to your attraction towards her, making you feel that heavy weight lying under that little bit of awkwardness. “The ball is about to drop in a second; we should go in,” Shauna said, voice soft. You nodded, leaning off the porch railing and standing up straight. She followed suit, doing the same. Both of you turned at the same time, getting in each other's way. “Oh–I’m sorry, Mrs. Sadecki.” You chuckled nervously, your feet knocking into hers as you bumped into her. The brush of contact sent tingles through you, your heart beating a little faster. She was warm despite the cold weather outside. Shauna shook her head, giving a small smile. “It’s fine, I wasn't paying attention to where I was moving.” She waved it off. Her dark eyes poured into yours, a moment of pause hanging. “And call me Shauna, no need for formalities, right?” She added, her hand reaching out to give you a friendly pat on your shoulder. You nodded. “Of course, right, Shauna it is then.” The name sounded funny in your mouth; you've only ever referred to her as Shauna in your head. Not out loud! Especially not in front of her. Her hand lingered on your shoulder, the warmth of it seeping through the fabric of your sweater.

Her thumb rubbed against the sweater, feeling your shoulder beneath it. For a second, you could see her eyes dart to where her hand was, and you noticed that same ‘lost in thought’ look in her face. From outside, you could hear the guests in the house cheer, the countdown getting closer to midnight. It was hard to focus on getting inside when Shauna was so close, just staring at you with a strange look in her eye. Your breath puffed into the cold night air from the temperature, and you could see the same coming from Shauna.

“Mrs. Sad– Shauna?” You questioned, awkwardly shifting your weight to your other foot as you stood there in front of her, her hand on your shoulder. Suddenly, you could hear some shouts from inside, a loud, ‘Happy New Year!’ ringing out. Then you felt a tight squeeze on your shoulder, a force dragging you in close. Shauna had pulled you in, lips slotting with yours–almost hard–from the quickness of it. You let out a surprised gasp, the noise silencing against her mouth. The kiss was dry, her mouth moving against yours for a moment. Before you could even attempt to return it, her tongue grazed your bottom lip, and she pulled away. Your body flashed with heat, warmer than you felt before in your little sweater. When she leaned back, you could still feel the ghost of her mouth on yours, the faint mark of saliva she left still on your lip.

Shauna had looked mortified when she realized the weight of what she had just done. Her hands flew to her mouth. “Oh my god, I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me, I–” She was cut off by the back door opening, revealing your mom standing there. “Hey, you two! You missed the ball drop!” She smiled, walking onto the back porch with a glass of champagne. “What’s going on out here?” She tilted her head with dramatic curiosity, making Shauna seem incredibly on edge. ‘Nothing. We were just…” She trailed off, a flustered look on her face. “We were talking about how you used to be great at soccer!” You finished for her, a rushed cover-up. You knew she wouldn't pass up an opportunity to talk about herself. Your mom sighed through her nose, a soft grin on her lips. “Ah, yes. I was surprised I even made the team back then. Unfortunately, my soccer days are over after the incident.” She raised her brows, taking a sip from her glass. Shauna made a face, looking off to the side. Soccer seemed like a sensitive thing for her, and you knew why. Everyone did. Even years later, people still spoke about that plane crash. Especially your mom, but she treated it as if she had gone down in that plane herself. Always on about how she nearly died. “I should get going, thank you so much for having me, Allie,” Shauna spoke, giving your mom a sheepish smile. She then glanced at you, her cheeks still slightly stained pink. But you couldn't tell if it's from the cold or the kiss. “It was great talking to you, (y/n).” She added before giving an awkward wave goodbye, walking away, and entering the house through the door to leave.

Your mom glanced at you, her eyebrows slightly furrowed. “She seem strange to you?” You shook your head. “Uh, no, I don't think so.” Your mom shrugged. “Hm, oh well. C’mon, let's go back inside.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Shauna got home, she stared at her reflection in the bathroom for a good second. “That was so stupid of you.” She spat out under her breath, scoffing. She didn't know what came over her, a part of her wanted to blame it on the champagne she didn't even drink. The memory of (y/n)’s mouth kept banging inside of her head, ringing around in there constantly. Her hand went up, fingers grazing her lips.

“Shit…”

She muttered. Shauna pushed away from the bathroom sink, exiting it and heading to her bedroom. She saw Jeff already tucked in, body buried under the blankets. She went over to the other side of the bed, crawling into the covers herself. She squeezed her eyes shut, an attempt at sleep. Which, she might not get much of tonight. Not with the way her heart was beating and her stomach twisted. She wondered how (y/n) tasted, like really tasted when she got to kissing. Her tongue had barely grazed her earlier, but she almost got a hint of what it would be like.

She could imagine it now, her tongue sliding against (y/n)’s, hot and heavy in her mouth. Her teeth nipping at her lips until they were red and raw, tasting the iron that would leak from the hard bites. Shauna’s hand gripped the duvet, a frustrated sigh coming from her. No. She wasn't for her, shauna couldn't pursue her. She had Jeff. That should be enough. Not some college senior. No matter how nice she would feel, or how good it would be to have those doe eyes stare at her, she couldn't just drop everything for her. Maybe. The thought gnawed at her relentlessly, with a groan, she buried her head into her pillows.

Chapter Text

Sun leaked in through the tiny slits from the blinds, stirring you awake as the light filled the room. You groaned, eyes opening with a squint. Your head throbbed dully, earning a soft sigh from you through your nose in mild annoyance. A headache was a fantastic way to start the day. It's not like you had anything to drink last night, but it might have been the fact that you spent ages pacing around your room like a lunatic after the party. Your thoughts were completely taken over by the kiss last night, wondering what it meant, if Shauna was thinking about it, if she even cared about it. You definitely lost sleep, for sure. The soft glow of the winter sun made your old room almost look dream-like, as if it were stuck in a memory. You only slept here when you weren't in your college dorm; it was always a semi-pleasant vacation whenever you got to stay here with your mom. Only semi though. A sudden knock on your bedroom door snapped you out of your thoughts.

"(y/n), are you awake?" Your mom's voice called out through the wooden door. You paused for a moment, debating whether or not you should officially end your slightly peaceful start of the morning. "Yeah." You replied, pushing yourself up on the bed. "Oh! Good. I need you to go to the store for me, okay? I'll give you my card, just pick up a few things." Your mom's request grated on your ears. The thought of leaving bed with a headache right now was bad enough, but to make it worse, you had to go into the freezing cold. January sucks.

"Alright." You sighed heavily, reluctantly pushing yourself out of the blankets and swinging your legs over the bed. You felt goosebumps go up your arms when the chill air of the bedroom hit your skin. It reminded you of last night on the porch—how Shauna made the cold night warmer just by inching closer. You squeezed your eyes shut at the thought. You shouldn't be thinking of that, or her, for that matter. She was married, older, and, not to mention, she knew your mom. You didn't even know if she was actually gay, either. Was she drunk last night? You swallowed hard, feeling another throb in the front of your skull at the thoughts swarming your head.

Eventually, you managed to push yourself up to get to your closet. You threw on whatever you found first and figured would keep you warm enough—a baggy sweater and some jeans. (plus a coat thrown on top.) You left your room, and your mom handed you a hastily made list on a sticky note. It mainly consisted of basic groceries plus whatever she ran out of last night, thanks to her party guests. You left the house, entering out into the freezing weather. Your nose started to burn almost instantly from the cold, making you sniffle as you walked down the porch steps. You didn't have a car, and your mom was about to leave for work, so Uber it was. It took about fifteen agonizing minutes for it to arrive, but it did. The ride to the store was quick; some guy named Adam gave you the ride—an odd-looking dude.

When you arrived at the store, you nearly cried in relief at the heaters blowing inside from the vents. You allowed your fingers to thaw out for a moment before walking off into the aisles. You only needed to get a few things; it should be in and out. So you got eggs, bread, milk, butter, and now you had to look for some random cheap box wine your mom added to the list.

You searched a few aisles before finding where the wine was, pushing the cart slowly as you looked around. You weren't paying attention well enough because a loud sound of two shopping carts crashing snapped you out of focus and caused you to jump.

"Can you watch where you're going—"

Silence cut off the easily recognizable voice of Shauna, her eyes locking onto yours and making her jaw go slack. "(y/n)! I'm sorry I didn't even notice you were there!" She shook her head in surprise, eyes wide and cheeks in an embarrassed flush. Your stomach did flips at her voice, memories of the kiss coming resurfacing in heated flashbacks. You forced yourself to let out an awkward laugh. "Oh, no, it's fine! I'm sorry for bumping into I wasn't paying attention." You hated the way your voice came out, almost mousy-ish around her, but there was something about Shauna Shipman that made you so nervous. Maybe it was the vague knowledge of her past, or the fact that she was some hot older lady who kissed you, who knew.

"I, uh, I didn't know you drink wine!" Shauna spoke, her voice awkward—and you knew why. You shrugged and gave a sheepish smile. "S'not for me, my mom sent me out to get it. Everyone last night drank her good wine." You answered with a gesture towards the racks of wine. "Did you… drink some last night?" You asked, a sliver of curiosity coming through, wanting to know if alcohol made her do what she did last night. Shauna shook her head. "No, I don't exactly like the brand your mom got." She shrugged with a little smile. You nodded. The confirmation of her not drinking made you feel a little at ease, but at the same time, more confused—why did she kiss you?

You looked at Shauna's cart, groceries, essentials, and wine, of course. You wondered how often she drank it at home. "Yeah, the stuff sucks." You fidgeted with the cart handle, fingers scratching against cold metal. After a long stretch of silence, Shauna cleared her throat. "Do you want to shop with me?" The question made your fingers freeze on the handle of the cart. You nodded a bit too eagerly than you would like. "Yeah, why not?" You smiled, watching Shauna nod. You quickly picked out a box of wine, and soon after, followed Shauna as she began to walk off.

The pair of you walked down a few sections in the store, making small talk to avoid the elephant in the room. You glanced at her as you pushed your cart, biting your bottom lip in thought before speaking. "How are Jeff and Callie?" The question felt weird on your tongue, but you hoped it eased some of the curiosity you had—like why would a married woman kiss you of all people?

"They're fine, Jeff is working on his furniture store, and Callie is busy with school." She shrugged. You nodded, humming in acknowledgment. "And you?" You added. Shauna hesitated for a beat. "I'm the same, regular housework, making dinner, the usual." It looked like the words sat wrong on Shauna's tongue. "What about you?" Her eyes flitted towards you. You got a wave of Deja Vu at the question; you two went over this small talk last night. "Well, nothing has changed from what I told you last night, just regular stuff." Your reminder of last night made Shauna visibly clench her jaw, her cheeks dusting pink. "Yeah, of course, I must sound like a broken record." She chuckled awkwardly.

After a while of walking around the store with Shauna (painfully awkward, by the way), you two reached check-out, scanning items separately. You watched Shauna walk out of the store before you, while you got your items bagged, your eyes following her. Soon, you left too, putting as many bags as you could around both arms. You walked out of the store, heading towards a curb where you could rest while you ordered another Uber. You clumsily pulled out your phone, thumb swiping over the screen.

"(y/n)!" You heard your name get called, and you looked over your shoulder to see Shauna at her parked minivan. It looked like she had just finished putting away her groceries in the trunk. You saw her start to walk towards you. "Where's your car? Those groceries look heavy." She said, looking at the plastic bags wrapped around your forearms. "Oh, uhm, No, I don't." You let out an awkward, breathy laugh. "You need a ride?" Shauna's offer came out so easily you almost missed it. You debated your options, awkwardly sitting with Shauna but having an easy ride home in the cold, or waiting twenty minutes in the cold with heavy groceries for an Uber. You nodded. "Sure, that would be great, thanks, Shauna." You agreed, walking with her back to her car.

She opened the backseat door for you, letting you settle your groceries safely in the seats. You then went to the passenger door and hopped in, buckling your seatbelt. Shauna started the car, the heater kicking in. "It's so cold out there." You mumbled, crossing your arms together for added warmth, and you glanced out of the window. Shauna nodded, backing up into the parking lot as she began to drive. "It's not that bad," She said, making you let out a half-laugh-half-scoff. "You must be used to it." You rubbed your arms. Shauna gave you a look but didn't say anything, just drove off onto the road. The rest of the ride back to your mom's house was fairly quiet, a few words here and there, but mainly it was just two people trying to avoid the tension in the small space.

When you got to the house, you could feel the car slowly ease to a stop. You sighed softly through your nose, sitting up straighter. Shauna looked over at you, "Here you are." She gave a tight-lipped smile. You glanced into the back at the groceries, preparing yourself for the small haul inside. "Thank you again, Shauna. This was way better than spending twenty dollars for an Uber." You unbuckled your seatbelt, hearing her turn the engine off. "Is Allie home?" Shauna looked out of the window, staring at the driveway. You just shook your head. "No, she's at work." Shauna then hummed. "I can help you take some of these inside?" This was the second time today she had made such an easy offer; it was hard to say no. "Sure, that would be great."

You and Shauna exited her minivan, opening the backseat door and grabbing handfuls of your own groceries. You walked around her car and went to the porch, walking up the steps and unlocking the door clumsily with one hand. The door pushed open wide enough for you and Shauna to walk in, the warmth of the house greeting you pleasantly. "This way." You jerked your chin in the direction of the kitchen, walking towards it. You settled the groceries down onto the marble countertops, and Shauna followed suit. The only sound in the kitchen was the shuffling of plastic grocery bags; no words were exchanged. There was only so much tension you could take before it drove you crazy, so you turned to Shauna. "Listen, about last night—" You started, Shauna shook her head, closing the distance between you two. "Shh." She hushed before pushing her lips against yours.

The familiar taste of her mouth flooded you, making your eyes instinctively fall shut. You kissed her back after half a second, letting her control your mouth. She tasted like coffee and minty Chapstick. Her hands found their way to your waist; they were hot and tight around you. Her hands were so warm they felt like lava seeping through your clothes, burning your skin beneath. She backed you up against the counter, the small of your back hitting the edge of it. You leaned into her touch, feeling the heat radiating from her. Her tongue prodded your lips, causing you to part them a bit to let her tongue slip between them. Her tongue glided against yours, heated and wet. You moaned softly against her mouth, which made her respond more eagerly.

Your hands found their way up to Shauna's face, cupping her soft cheeks in your hands to keep her head steady as she kissed you. It wasn't a good idea, kissing a married woman like this, one who was traumatized with an unknown past and probably too old for you—but it felt good. She lapped at your tongue like a dog, hands gripping your waist until her fingers left indents. You broke away for a second, taking a needed breath in as your forehead rested against hers. "Shauna," You whispered against her mouth in a breathy voice. Her hands slid down, finding the meat of your thighs. She pressed her mouth against your jaw this time, leaving sloppy kisses down it all the way to your throat.

You let out a soft breath at the feeling—her mouth on your throat—it felt so vulnerable. Your hand slid into her hair, tangling in the dark brown strands. One hand of hers returned to your hip, while the other curiously ventured between your thighs, thumb making its way to press down against the seam of your jeans in the middle. The pressure made you tense up, panting softly against Shauna's ear while she left kisses against your neck.

Your hips pressed forward, chasing after the heat and pressure Shauna's hand gave. Her face nuzzled deeper into your neck, her mouth suckling gently on the skin there. Your fingers tightened in her hair. "Is this okay?" She murmured against your throat, soft vibrations pressing into the crook of your neck from her voice. You nodded. "Yeah—keep going." You said thoughtlessly, it felt like a high, almost, your brain hazy and light, all because of her. Her thumb pressed harder against the fabric of your jeans. She started to move it in hard, slow circles, the motions muffled through your clothes, making your clit throb hard. You wanted nothing more than to let her tear your pants off right now and have her finger fuck you here in the kitchen, and the thought mixed with her agonizing thumbing made you whimper softly.

As soon as you made that noise, Shauna bit down on your neck. You gasped at the sensation. Her teeth were sharper than you thought; they sank into your throat so easily. It was like a wolf at a lamb's neck. "S-Shauna—" You stammered, feeling her quickly soothe the area she bit with her tongue. Her hand darted up to your waistband, fumbling with the buttons of your jeans before she shoved her hand inside of them. Her fingers grazed the fabric of your panties, making you squirm beneath her. "Can I touch you here, (y/n)?" She pulled her mouth off of your neck, her lips grazing your ear. You swallowed hard, nodding. "Yeah." You muttered back softly, hips trying to grind up into her touch for more.

A loud, shrill ring echoed in the kitchen, Shauna's phone going off in her back pocket. She paused for a second, hand slowly pulling out of your pants. She let out a huff, pushing off of you like it hurt. Shauna reached for her phone, pulling it out and opening it. It was Jeff. "Shit." She mumbled under her breath, rolling her eyes in a blink. She then glanced up at you. "I gotta go, but it was nice seeing you." Shauna smiled, her voice warm yet strained. You nodded. "Y-yea, of course, thanks for the help today."

"No problem." She said before exiting the house, leaving you there in the kitchen alone