Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

loneliness.

loneliness is what you felt after the war.

even though things went back to "the same,"

it wasn't the same.

sure, you had all of your friends at school.

but deep down?

you KNOW

that it is YOUR fault

along with everyone else's

that so many

of the people of Japan

are DEAD.

ǒ̸̺̟̱̼͕͇͕́̃̕ņ̶̥̜̭̯͒̽̃͝ę̷̹̞̫̖̬̼̘̟̳̮̻̌ ̸̨̜̟̗͎̹̟̟͙̙̫̼̲̈́̌̄a̵͖͇͋͒̎n̸̙̜̝͇͔̟̹̞͓͎̉̂̇̓̂̆͑ḑ̸̙̲͓͕̗͍̪͕͓̽ͅ ̷͙̺̖̗̭̝̱̤̘̻̳̥̟̰͉̘́͂͒̊͑͂̈́̈́̌̂̓͊̚͘͠͝a̶̤̜͓̤͚̖̺̠͍͂̇͝ ̵̤̉͑̑̏̕̚̕h̵̖͙̎͛̚ȃ̶̲̮̗̦̱̲̃l̸͓̳͇͈̫̺̞̦̥͔̼͈̫̑ḟ̵̢̧̡̳̠̗̜͇̮̦͕̭̥͐̏́͜ ̸͇̩͙͙͕͉̼̹͓͕̱́̂̏̑̅͛̀̅̉̌̇̓̅̉̕͠ͅͅy̴̧̢̧͖͎͉̻͓̼͎̪͈̜̱̗̠̐̎̽̔͜͝͠e̴̡̨̻̦̼̻̬̦͉͔͆́̃̀͆̾͑̂̏̆̑́̋ǎ̴̼͇̩̱͋̂̇r̶̢̛̛̛͈̞̳͓̗͖̊̈́̾͒̉͆̀̈̈́͗͑͋̎̏̕͜s̸̢̡̫̬̯̦̞̜̻̳͌̎́̓͑͗̒̂͗̚͝ ̵̛̞̊̊͌͒̆̒͛̋͗̎̈́̄̚͝͝ą̷̨̨͇̯̰̝̭̞͓͉̦͓̄̎̊̊͝͠ͅf̶̢̛̼͎͈̤̝͍͍̪͖̯͙͕͚̈́̌̒ţ̸̨̡͖̞̯͙̺͚̙͖͕̞̣͕͓̺͌͒̊̔͐̇̄̈́͊͋͋̕̕̚͝͠e̶̹̥̺͔̲͔̻͕̐̒̀̈͊̔̌̓̏͜͜͝ŗ̸̧̟͉͇͔̀ ̸̩̼́͐̓̃͒́̐̕͝t̴̥͍̦̩̀̅͂̆̏̔̄̆̃̓̌͆̇͐̃͝ḩ̴͈̭̮̱̙̣̩̳̪͆͂̓̄͗̈́́͋̊̂̈́̀͑͑̿͐̾́͝ͅè̸̢̧͈̲̜͖̓̽̾̀̑̈́̅ ̸͖̦̫̺̳͗̀̈́́̎́̅̔̀̕̕w̵̧̠̜̮̥̗͎͒́å̵̧̨̘͍̟̘̱͙̞͓̰̽̒́̀̔̿̌̏͌͘͝͠ͅř̶̢̢̭̭͕̯͖̳̠̖̦̩̻̗̖͚̇̓͐̋̒̓͋̋̔͒͗̿͑͝.̷̡͇͖̗̲͙̹̝̣̼͕̥̂̓̐̒̊̉̈̈́́̏̿͜

•••

"and—"

Your newest teacher, Mr. Takami, otherwise known as now part-time pro-hero Hawks, paused.

"Oh, Y/N! You're awake again. Don't worry, I let you sleep only cause there wasn't much to miss. All that you missed was me introducing this guy," He paused, pointing next to him, "Shinsou. You all have met him before, but we're gonna pretend you didn't. Anyways, Shinsou, you sit at the seat behind Kaminari, next to Y/N."

Shinso nodded, and made his way to his seat. He looked different than he used to.

His hair was still sorta fluffy, but not super spiky, and it was moreso longer, not sticking up crazily like Bakugo's.

The thing that seemed even more different than his hair, though, was the way his personality seemed to be. It felt as if he wasn't as confident as before. Sure, you all knew he was proud, and probably happy, since it took so much effort to get in the hero course.

But it still felt off.

He was acting like he thought he was a loser. His body language was familiar to the way you act. You always thought you were a loser, and now it seems he does too.

RIIIIIIIIIING!!

"Aaaand shit. Thats the bell, I took way too long talking. Sorry. See ya, you're dismissed to lunch."

And the class ran off to do their business.

You went to get your lunch box from your little cubby, and made your way to the cafeteria.

School lunch was nice, but you wanted your own food today.

Listening to music at a volume that could be heard through your headphones, your "gross" and "edgy" combat boots made quiet yet annoying noises as you walked.

You didn't care what they thought about your boots.

You may be a loser, but that doesn't change the fact that they suck.

In the cafeteria, you were making your way to your usual spot to sit, but just as you got to your quiet table with Todoroki, Midoriya, Iida, Uraraka and Asui, your seat was gone.

A certain purple-headed boy was in your seat.

•••

Chapter Text

[4:06 am . early in the morning of shinsou's first day.]

waking up this morning

you remembered that one thing you did

only a year ago

you woke up

not having been interrupted from your good dream

but because you escaped a nightmare.

•••

You woke up when the sun wasn't yet shining. You had shot up, gasping and breathing heavily. It was two hours sooner than you usually would wake up, 4:06. Still oh so very dark.

Upon the thankfully quick realization that you hadn't actually been living out the false reality you just experienced, you let out a good, loud sigh of relief. However, even if you were freaking out no longer, you knew how hard it would be to go back to sleep, and even harder to wake back up in time for school, so you got out of your bed and turned on the dim fairy lights in your dorm.

You went to the bathroom, your slippers making a quiet scuffing noise on your hardwood floor.

When you came back out, you walked over and looked out the window.

There was a faint sound through the glass, and you wanted to know what it was, so you went out onto your little balcony and sat in the cushions chair you would usually use to read books in.

Outside, the cause of the ruckus was..

.. Bakugo and his friends... and was that Shinsou and Iida?

"IT IS LATE!! YOU SHOULDN'T BE TRAINING.. OR WERE YOU PARTYING??? IT DOESNT MATTER, IT IS CURFEW!! And— SHINSOU!!! Your FIRST night in our dorm building! WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE PAST CURFEW!! GO TO BED!!!" You could hear Iida, shouting loudly and likely waving his arms around, pointing fingers sternly. You could almost sense his frustration.

You mainly were curious about Shinsou though. It was only the first night he would be staying in class A's dorm building. Why was he out with Bakugo's friends anyway? That didnt make sense, Bakugo was rarely nice to you. Like, EVER.

Whatever.

You picked up your phone to check the time. Except, it said 3:06 now. Not 4:06. You had misread it.

Well, if it was wrong, then you should be able to fall asleep and still be able to get up with no problems.

Just go back to bed. Go, forget all of this.

z z z Z Z Z Z Z

•••

[now, at lunch]

"Uhhhh, welll- Y/N definitely agrees with me at least.. right Y/N...?" Midoriya said awkwardly.

"..Y/N????" He turned to you, poking your shoulder.

"...huh?" You responded, having been interrupted from a long train of thought.

"Oh. Yeah, I agree."

"See?!?!" He told the others, including a tired looking, quiet and barely involved Shinsou.

You never really used to look at Shinsou much, but just slightly more had you caught yourself looking at him.

Huh. Were his eyes always that pretty, shiny purple? Was he always that tall? It seemed like he was accesorizing a little more. Why did he wear a safety pin necklace? Were his eye bags more dark than usual? Was his hair a little damaged, and just a little darker than before? Were—

..fuck, I'm staring.

You flicked yourself in the arm, and very quietly muttered "stop that," a bit upset that you had been staring. If he had seen, he probably wouldn't say anything, and whatever he did, it would be awkward.

Shinsou, on the other hand, seemed like he thought he was a worthless freak. And you hated that. You KNEW he wasn't a worthless freak.

A little voice in your head told you that he was cute, that you liked him, but the rest of you shut that idea down, and you were lucky you didnt blush because of your internal embarrassment.

After lunch was the boring classes. All of the hero stuff was before that, and that's only if they had the fun activities that day.

Right now, it was English. Except, they ended up having someone come in and teach sex ed, which literally no one paid attention to whatsoever. The only parts they paid attention to where when they used the "funny terms," sperm, hard, head, oral, anal, all that. Due to the boring subject, classes went by oh so fast. History, science, and boom. The school day was done.

You were at your little cubby, putting your stuff in your randoseru. Everything was organized, plus your useless junk like your mp3 player and your books, until Shinsou bumped into you.

"Shit— I'm so fucking sorry, I'm actually so dumb." He said, picking up the stuff he caused to fall.

"It's ok. I do that shit almost weekly anyway." You say, tricking your brain into 'not liking him.'

He scratches the back of his neck a little bit awkwardly, and then grabs the stuff out of his cubby.

By the time you're walking, he's already walking not far behind, listening to some sort of music that was loud enough to hear just barely. It sounded like deftones, but you weren't entirely sure.

You walked to the dorms building, and went to your elevator for the girls side, going to your room, and flopping onto your mattress the moment you get in. You almost never trained outside of class for more than an hour per 2 days a week. And today was no exception. You got burnt out easily. And that wouldn't be any less of an issue when you get older.

But its ok. The day is done.

However, when you went to bed later that night, all you could think of was that boy.

The disgusting boy you dated that one time last year. And how he practically feasted on you.

You got up out of your bed, looking for Bakugo, because surprisingly, he was always kind whenever you needed a place to vent, and literally always able to handle it, given his rough nature, but instead of Bakugo, who dod you find?

... Shinsou.

"..hey... uh, have you seen Bakugo, by any chance....?" You asked him, sounded just slightly disoriented and upset.

"...no, um, can't say I have....?" He responded, but despite how you had masked your current state, he still noticed. "..also, you good? You sound upset."

"i'm fine, it's nothing. I just have to give him back something I borrowed is all." You lied. It was the one thing you were so used to doing.

And so you did, bottling it up, and just heading back to your dorm.

•••

Chapter Text

shinsou

too normal to be a freak in a circus

but enough of a freak to bring the circus to other people.

•••

Shinsou had never really been much of the romantic type. Everyone really hated him because of his quirk, and were afraid he would use it to manipulate them, but he liked it that way. No girls fawning over him, nothing bad happening in a relationship. And besides, he always thought he was ace, and half of the relationships back then would just be for the underage sex. For the pleasures.

However, Shinsou also was a depressed teen boy. Of course he was horny often times. And he hated it, knowing that even though he thought sex was gross, he also knew for a fact he would not only enjoy it, but he probably only thought that way because it was frowned upon for people his age to have sex in the first place.

But no, he would see so many people. Teen boys and girls alike who he had some unfortunately... unholy thoughts about, to say the least.

But, at least, he was proud to say he never had any about his classmates!!

At least, until he got moved to class A.

Why the fuck was Y/N so damn attractive????

What was it about them?

Their soft hair? Their sparkly eyes? Their soft skin?

Or was he just a scumbag and thought their ass and tits were the best feature?

Why the fuck did he like Y/N? He didn't even know!

He scratched the back of his neck, sighing in annoyance.

He hated the fact that he knew he wanted to find out how they were in bed.

He was just a gross creep.

He sat on the bed in his dorm room, staring up at the ceiling.

His room was fairly nice looking, but only if you were a weird teenager. He had band posters, he had cool soft lighting, candles and shit. Comics, so many sketchbooks, and cool stuff to mess with. Hell, he even had a vinyl player. Yet all he ever seemed to do was bed rot, cry, sleep, and still manage to feel like shit.

It sucked.

And to add to the pot, he now had an embarrassingly huge crush on you.

Great.

And why the hell would someone like you, Y/N, ever wanna date a loser like him?

You wouldn't, that's what.

You were actually a cool loser, he was just a deadbeat.

But anyway, what did it matter?

•••

Walking down the school hallway, Shinsou would see you and have to walk faster, trying to avoid thinking of you.

But today, you walked faster, trying to catch up.

"Hey, Shinsou. Say, do your listen to any cool music? I'm actually bored out of my mind right now cause I listen to the same stuff too much." You asked him.

And I'm bored out of my mind that I can't fuck you, yet here I am trying to think of music....

"Uh... I dunno, maybe The Cure, The Smiths, uh, just music like that maybe, I usually listen to other stuff." He responded.

"Ok, thanks. I usually just listen to metal. I got tired of listening to thrash type bands anyway."

And I'm tired of not being able to thrash you in my bed- FUCK, I thought I said that out loud, god.

And there you were, walking down the hallway, after almost giving him a heart attack.

It was fucking torture to him, knowing how badly he wanted to fuck you senseless, how bad he wanted you.

But oh, how he would feel his heart thumping soon, when he found out you liked him too.

Oh, how joyous he would be, knowing there would be a chance he could do what he thinks about so much, as long as he treats you right.

•••

Chapter Text

"Would it be weird if I kissed you?"

 

"Honestly, yes. Would I care? No."

•••

You had been stalling about your infatuation with Shinsou. At first, your excuse was that the sports festival is coming up, and its your last chance to shine, but you know for a fact that isn't a valid excuse.

If you wanted to score, you had to shoot.

That's just how the game works.

Something you never told other people is that you thought you were aromantic.

You never felt asexual, because you weren't opposed to or repulsed by sex. You just hated the idea of dating.

At least, you thought you did.

But then you thought you were cupioromantic. You thought you wanted a relationship but didnt feel romantic attraction.

But no.

Here you were, and FUCK, you were in love for the first time.

And he was hot too.

Except he didnt think so.

And you knew you had to hype him up about himself.

He can't date if he doesn't even think he's worthy of you.

But what if he likes men?

You're not a boy.

You're barely a girl.

You're... you, whatever you are.

You're your own breed of loser.

But God, you couldn't stand not being able to get fucked.

And that made you feel like a whore.

Have you ever been openly wanting sex and walking around asking for it?

No.

But did you really want it?

Yes, unfortunately.

You knew sometime or another you'd have to act on your little feelings.

So you did.

•••

You are now close friends with Shinsou. It's the sports festival, and you're having a good time.

You are absolutely killing it out there, YOU'RE one of the stars of the show.

You and your eyeliner, black nails, cool hair, and your amazing skills.

You had a fox quirk.

You had strong legs, a tail, acute senses, and fox ears. You had good hearing, eyesight, and sensitive smell, and could literally fight someone with your eyes closed if you wanted.

A quirk like yours just took proper training.

Miruko was a good example.

She was out there, being a girl boss, even after losing both of her legs and arms.

Why couldn't you?

Plus, she was an amazing fucking teacher so far, and even scored herself a wife.

Life goals.

Anyway, you were sitting in the stadium, waiting on the third portion of the sports festival, the 1v1 fights.

Currently, it was Bakugo fighting Hatsume.

She was getting absolutely fried out there.

Her little "babies" were all being broken, one by one.

Meanwhile, you sat next to Shinsou, hand in hand, laughing together at her misfortune.

Perhaps a little too close for just friends.

You knew it.

He knew it.

But neither of you did anything to break apart, feeling like even if it was awkward now, it would be more awkward to be the one ruining it.

"Awww, Shinsou and Y/N are holding hands!!" Ashido pointed out. "They're so cute!!" She squeals.

"WHAT. I-WHA– BUH— GUH- UH-"

The two of you frantically pull your hands away.

"NO. I mean— It's a friend thing!!" Shinsou says, almost accidentally saying ew, even though he knew full well he fucking enjoyed it.

"Guys. You hold hands with your friends, kiss the homies good night and such. Shut the fuck up!" You add.

"Pfft, whatever. Still a couple in my eyes, even if you aren't dating. Adorable." Kaminari says.

"Yeah. Pretty damn good together." Jiro adds.

"Ye– shut up." Shinsou said.

He blushed very subtly, and looked away at the match. If you questioned it, he would just play it off as embarrassment. Simple.

You did similar, clenching your fists tightly as if bracing for more things to be said, when Bakugo returned to the stands.

"Oi, idiot. Your turn next. You better win." He said to you, scoffing and sitting next to Kirishima.

"Oh, alright. Thanks." You waved and went to your side of the stadium, in the room next to the entrance to mentally prepare.

You went out, fought the person you were assigned to fight, and beat their ass.

Unfortunately, that meant your next fight was Bakugo, and knowing him, he would get pissed if he lost to a girl, even if you actually did good. So you slopped through it, and got 5th place in the sports fest. Shinsou got 6th.

Not bad, but you kind of felt upset thay you didnt get 3rd like you intended.

Shinsou on the other hand was happy for you and for himself. He actually placed really well.

Both of you approached eachother afterwards to offer congratulations, but you paused.

"I, uh—" You interrupted eachother.

"No, no, you first—" You did it again, saying the same thing.

"Uh.. you did amazing—"

FUCK.

How the hell did this happen? Now he'll KNOW YOU LIKE HIM.

"JUST FUCKING GO OUT ALREADY!!! GOD!!" Bakugo screamed, walking down the hallway with Kirishima and Mina.

"Umm...." He paused what he was saying.

"I really, like, actually like you, Y/N.." He said, blushing a little bit. "And if you don't like me, it's ok. I know I suck and I'm like, actually a fucking waste of space. But I really hope you would consider a date—"

You grabbed his shoulder, and shushed him.

"I need to know, would it be weird if I, like, kissed you right now?" You asked.

"..honestly, yes. Really fucking weird. But would I mind? .... no."

And with that, you finally actually kissed eachother, losers embracing, tongues tangled.

It was really fucking fun.

However, that didn't change the fact that you both were really fucking horny. Unfortunately, might that be added.

However, there was always another time to solve problems.

•••