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Chapter Text

Verin hadn’t had time to talk to Essek before the ball tonight, but now he wishes he had. It’s the final engagement ball being held for Verin and Olara where their engagement will be formalised. The ballroom is filled with many of the most important people of the Dynasty and beyond, as well as Verin and Olara’s dearest friends, though they both know they won’t have much time to talk to them tonight. This event is not about the people the couple are close to, it’s about showing that the Thelyss family has made a very strong and impressive marriage for one of its impressive sons. Thankfully for Verin, unlike some couples at a number of the engagement balls he has attended, he is very much looking forward to seeing Olara tonight. She will be the brightest spot for him.

What isn’t bright is Essek’s behaviour. Verin knows Essek is happy for him, that only last week he had haltingly told Olara that he was looking forward to calling her sister one day. Olara had smiled as she had pressed her gloved hand to Essek’s for the very first time and had told him that she couldn’t wait to call him brother, when he was ready to hear it. Seeing Essek mean his words and seeing his relief at Olara’s and his comfort with her gloved touch had been a wonderful moment for Verin. He hadn’t wanted anyone else in this family who treated Essek as badly as their mother did.

Currently, their mother is busy meeting and talking to all the right people, so she has been too distracted to start directing Essek. Essek doesn’t need help with political maneuvering, despite their mother thinking the opposite. She has ensured that Essek has formed himself into a political success through his science, of course that isn’t enough for her. It never will be. Verin’s features tighten but he discards the thought for now. It’s not the reason behind his brother’s current behaviour.

Essek should be most delighted tonight because Caleb Widogast of the Cobalt Soul and Mollymauk Tealeaf of Nicodranas are both in attendance. Verin has not glimpsed the letters that have flowed frequently between his brother and the other two, despite the temptation to try. He is not their mother, he will give Essek the privacy that he deserves. But he has seen the smile on his brother’s face as he reads those letters. A version of it is present when Essek reads and when he dabbles in his scientific research, true, and when he talks of the friends he has made through Caleb and Mollymauk. But his smile from the letters is so much softer and warmer. It warms Verin to see it, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Essek smile like that before.

And more than that, Verin has seen, during events like this, his brother’s gloved hand resting on Caleb’s arm briefly or brushing Mollymauk’s wrist. That is completely unheard of, Essek endures other people’s touches, he rarely initiates any of his own. And Verin has seen how Caleb and Mollymauk look at his brother, how their own expressions soften around him, how restrained and gentle their touches are towards him when their touches towards each other are much more free and frequent. Verin has overheard Caleb talking science with Essek, how their enthusiasm for the subjects matches, and he has seen how Mollymauk often makes sure Essek has a full glass and a place to sit, and tells teasing jokes that make both Caleb and Essek lean closer.

This courtship between the three of them is clearly going very well. More than that, it is lighting up Essek in a way that Verin once feared was impossible. He is looking forward to actually discussing the situation with Essek tomorrow. Essek has denied the existence of the courtship in response to every one of Verin’s private teasing words on the matter. But Verin is not blind or foolish, no matter what their mother thinks. He knows what he sees, he knows his brother. Essek’s work might involve him being flawless at hiding his emotions from everyone, but he cannot hide from Verin.

Tonight, for example, Essek had greeted his friends with the quiet warm smile that had made Verin smile inwardly too. But fairly early on in the evening, that smile had disappeared, not just from their mother’s sight, but from everyone’s. Essek himself seems to be disappearing too, into the shadows. He talks to people, but no enjoyment reaches his eyes. He is as guarded as he would be when working, Verin is sure. He knows Essek has enjoyed the previous traditional engagement events held for Verin and Olara, and not just because some of his own friends have been present at them. Essek has admitted this, saying that he has enjoyed experiencing them as they are for Verin and because he knows that his brother is in no way dreading his marriage. But now, he is vanishing and he is completely avoiding Caleb and Mollymauk. 

Verin cannot catch his brother to ask, he has dances and conversations to have so that no one will raise any objections to his engagement before it is formalised tonight. Verin has no intention of failing now. But he can spy Caleb and Mollymauk’s frowns when they glance around, most likely looking for Essek as the three of them usually spend all their time together whenever they meet in person. To say Verin is concerned is putting it mildly, Essek has never run from an official occasion, no matter how excruciating. He didn’t even try to escape them when they were boys, unlike Verin. And, based on past events during Verin’s engagement, this evening is something that Essek should be enjoying, in his own way. Verin isn’t hurt by it, not yet, he’s more concerned for his brother, and for their mother realising something is wrong.

Olara appears at his side and cups his elbow with her gloved hand, “Dear, I have heard some marvellous stories tonight. Half of them might be true.”

Verin glances at her and allows her to guide him to the edge of the crowd. They are still learning how to move together on occasions like this but he has enjoyed how it has progressed for them so far. And he knows she’s secretly telling him under her words that there’s a story that he needs to hear. He tucks her hand into the crook of his arm, and smiles at the faces nearby that smile back at the intimate gesture.

“Anything scandalous?” he asks, teasingly.

“Several, those ones might be true. Do you know, there’s a rumour that Caleb Widogast and the tiefling are engaged?”

Verin’s feet don’t stutter though his thoughts do. He waits until they find a quiet corner to talk closely together, every inch the matched couple not to be disturbed at their final engagement ball. He can see now that Olara is as surprised as he is, he’s told her in confidence about his brother’s courtship and how he hopes to help once his and Olara’s engagement is formalised tonight. He will be able to help, at last, because his engagement will elevate his position in the Thelyss family, and he will have a limited time to ensure success. She had agreed, stating that she would wish to help her sisters when they reach the expected courting age too.

“Neither are wearing a ring,” she continues quietly. “And they are behaving no differently to the last time they attended here.”

Verin frowns, it explains Essek’s behaviour. Of course he must be devastated, but it doesn’t make sense. If it is true, the fact the pair are here, hurting Essek, speaks of a maliciousness in them that completely surprises Verin and is entirely out of character for them. And he’s seen no gloating in them tonight. None of it makes sense. Their adoration of Essek was always clear.

“If this is false,” he says slowly. “Someone has started the story to hurt us or to hurt Caleb Widogast and Mr Tealeaf and the kingdoms they represent.”

Olara nods, “To cause a scene here.”

“Though they must not know Essek if they think that will happen,” Verin shakes his head. “I need to speak to him. Can I ask you to ensure our mother does not disturb us?”

“I’ll explain Essek is concerned about ensuring his part of the formalisation goes well.”

Verin smiles admiringly as she adjusts her gloves, they are silver to match the layers of her silk dress with its transparent slitted sleeves that move beautifully when she dances. He is more sure than ever that he was right to show such interest in his mother’s plans for his arranged matching.

He grasps Olara’s hand and presses a kiss to her gloved wrist, “Thank you, dear.”

Her eyes are light and smiling and she presses the gloved tips of her fingers to her lips and then to the palm of his hand, “I’ll find you, dear.”

As she moves easily through the crowd, smiling as she accepts compliments, Verin turns to Celar, the nearest servant. There is never one far from him here and at times like this, he is extremely grateful.

“Where is my brother?”

“On the balcony nearest to you, My Lord.”

“Ah, perfect. I will speak with him privately. See we’re only disturbed for the most dire emergencies.”

Celar nods, “My Lord.”

Sure enough, when Verin gets to the balcony door, there is Essek, standing staring out at their estate. A shiver works down Verin’s spine as he goes to join his older brother. It’s like those times in childhood after their father’s passing when Verin would often find Essek staring outside like this. He would refuse to speak, and retreated into himself, striving even further to advantage their family. The cold down Verin’s spine increases, he has no wish to see his brother turn that way again.

The balcony door is locked behind Verin and a filmy drape pulled to obscure the window. They have some privacy. Essek is wearing his mantle, for the cold evening perhaps, or as armour. He has taken extra care with his appearance tonight, the jewellery in his ears and on his fingers is slightly more elaborate than for the previous engagement event, and the silver glitter that dusts his eyelids and cheeks makes him sparkle under the starlight. The silver lines painted on his face mark him as Verin’s closest kin. So much of the effort is because of tonight’s event and Verin is grateful, but he knows that some must be because of Caleb and Mollymauk.

He gazes out at their estate for a moment before asking, “Have you heard the stories being told tonight? About Caleb Widogast and Mollymauk Tealeaf?”

Essel nods sharply and Verin asks, “Are they true? Neither of them is wearing a ring.”

“Neither of them holds to many traditions.”

His voice is low and flat. It is more armour. Verin moves closer but does not reach for his brother yet.

“Did you know this was going to happen?”

Essek shakes his head, “I received letters from them last week, about attending tonight. But nothing was said about…this.”

His voice remains remarkably even. But Verin knows how his brother looks when he’s deeply burying pain. “I am sorry, brother, if it is true. They should have told you.”

“They owe me nothing, we are only friends.”

He has said that many times to Verin about Caleb and Mollymauk but this time his tone is different. Verin examines Essek closely in silence. Surely…but he realises, to his horror, that his brother is telling the truth. Oh, Light. Verin takes a very deep breath, trying to realign his thoughts. Essek is eyeing him now and Verin laughs at himself.

“I’m sorry, brother, I know you’ve told me that many times. But I honestly thought the three of you were deep into a courtship.”

There is the slightest bowing of Essek’s head, “No.”

Verin’s voice is soft, “But you wanted to be.”

Essek doesn’t answer for a long moment. Then he nods slightly, allowing Verin to rest a hand on his shoulder and squeeze slightly.

Essek breaks the silence with, “It does not matter. This engagement, true or false, has reminded me of that.”

“It matters,” Verin is definite. “The happiness you feel when you’re with them and when you are thinking of them matters. I have never seen you smile like that before, brother, away from your experiments.”

There is a ghost of a smile about Essek’s lips now. Verin squeezes his shoulder again, “Do you know, tomorrow I planned to propose to Mother that I lead on your own engagement?” At Essek’s surprised expression, Verin continues, “There will be a lot of proposals arriving once my own engagement is formalised, there will now be two great families for others to link with through you. And you are a prize, brother.”

Essek shakes his head derisively, “I would be no prize to any who would marry me, they would discover that.”

Verin keeps his voice quiet but anger does affect it, “You should be under no obligation to touch or be touched more than you desire.”

“Expectations would have to be met, brother, if I was to make an advantageous and suitable marriage, worthy of our family.”

“Olara and I hope to provide heirs. It would not be your burden.”

Essek looks at him strangely, “Why does my marriage matter to you so, brother?”

The moment hangs between them but Verin answers honestly, it is the least Essek deserves tonight, “I caused your unhappiness and pain once, I will do everything I can to prevent it now.”

Essek’s brow creases, “That doesn’t matter anymore, brother. You don’t owe me any debt.”

Verin shakes his head, “I will always owe you, Essek. And even if I didn’t, I don’t want you to spend your life in a suitable but painful marriage. I don’t care how advantageous it would be for the family.”

Essek protests, “The family should be your priority, from tomorrow-.”

“From tomorrow, I get more of a say in what our family focuses on. And I decided long before this that something I would always strive for would be your happiness. That is my choice, and it matters.”

Essek appears stunned, which makes something ache deep in Verin’s chest. His brother still sees no value in his own happiness, thanks to their mother’s insistent teachings over the years. And more than that, Essek still cannot see anyone caring for him in the way that couples and more care about each other.

“What should matter is advancing the family,” Essek says, quietly now.

Verin smiles, “My marriage will do that, and I am also happy with Olara. It is possible to have both, brother.”

Essek tilts his head in concession, wearing a small warm smile now, “You have done very well, Verin. I am pleased for you, and for Olara.”

Verin smiles, pleased, “Thank you. Now, I need to see if this story is even true, considering the way Caleb and Mollymauk both looked at you and treated you, I’m finding it hard to believe.”

Essek frowns again, “Treated me?”

Verin’s chest aches anew, “Brother, they care for you a lot. I would say that they love you.”

But Essek shakes his head, “They are kind, good friends. You don’t know them, brother, this is just how they are together, all of them are this way.”

True, Verin has been hugged by Jester Lavorre more than once when she has been able to attend gatherings here before. Verin has also seen the easy affection between everyone in their group of friends, but he has also seen how Caleb and Mollymauk are only so tender with each other and with Essek.

“They are so happy together,” Essek continues. “Nothing should spoil that, especially not me. They touch freely and easily, they love without hesitation or reservation. I do not fit there.”

Verin shakes his head slowly, he knows what he has seen. He knows what is there, waiting for his brother. He wonders why neither Caleb or Mollymauk have tried to court Essek. They might not know the Dynasty’s courtship rituals, he truly cannot imagine Essek broaching the subject with them. But Verin cannot understand why they have not asked, when their love for Essek is clearly so bright. There is too much here that doesn’t make sense, and there is too much pain and unhappiness growing in his brother.

“You are wrong, brother,” Verin tells him. “For once, I’ve seen what you haven’t, and I have a duty to find out if a story has been started to damage my engagement ball. Knowing that will aid me in recapturing your happiness, an equally important duty to me.”

Essek closes his eyes and leans into his brother for a moment, “Brother, please-.”

For the first time tonight, the pain is raw in his voice. Verin holds him close for that moment, his determination strengthening even more.

“Trust me, Essek, I’m not abandoning you again. This is my duty now, I’m very happy to say,” he smiles encouragingly as Essek straightens out again, but stays close, “Olara will have told people you are focusing on your role in the formalisation tonight. Dance with her and make yourself known a little more. I will talk to your friends, for all our sakes.”

Essek looks at Verin, pain glinting in his eyes, and he looks as though he is about to say something. Another protest maybe. But he must see what is in Verin’s eyes, the singular determination. He must remember that Verin will not be denied, it’s what first drove him out of the house and away for many years in the first place. Essek also cannot deny that the truth of this engagement story must be uncovered and going to the people who can answer questions about it best is only logical.

“Perhaps I will tell them how drows court,” Verin continues softly. “So that they do not cause other stories to circulate that could hurt our family.”

Essek nods, slowly but says, “I don’t wish for them to be uncomfortable, with that…revelation.”

Verin shakes his head, sure, “From what you’ve told me, they will be sorry to have made you uncomfortable in their ignorance. I think they will be sorry to have missed such a chance to court you properly.”

“Brother…”

“But there is still time,” Verin flicks his fingers up to halt Essek’s words, apologetic. “I will not tell them everything, but I will tell them to talk to you, no matter what is said between us. They must already have questions for you and if they tell your friends about this, they will not give up without answers.”

Essek looks pained but nods again. He looks out at their land again, “There is so much to lose in one evening.”

Verin offers his hand and at his brother’s nod, presses it to Essek’s shoulder, “I want you to know that once I am married, you are still welcome to live here. Olara and I are agreed on this.”

Essek raises his eyebrows and eyes Verin for a moment but nods, “Thank you, to you both.”

Verin squeezes Essek’s shoulder, “There is also so much to gain tonight, brother.”

Essek does not look convinced but Verin squeezes his shoulder again before taking a step away, “I will talk to Caleb and Mollymauk.”

Essek swallows but nods. He looks so young suddenly, strange when he is older than Verin. He took the lead so often when they were boys, for Verin’s protection and gain. It is Verin’s turn now to return the favour.

Chapter Text

Caleb and Mollymauk arrive rapidly in the receiving room after being discreetly summoned. Both have concern shining in their eyes, their fingers brushing as Celar exits and closes the door quietly behind him. Verin looks at them from his position by the fireplace, both are dressed suitably for the occasion, Caleb in a fine suit of green and browns, his hair neatly tied back and his beard trimmed, while Mollymauk is in much bolder colours with his shirt scandalously unbuttoned almost past his collarbones, and there is a brightly coloured fringed stole wrapped around him just below his shoulders. His clawed fingers are gripping the stole tightly now though.

“Lord Thelyss,” Caleb bows quite correctly, his accent thickening, maybe because of the worry that pinches his expression.

Verin nods his head in acknowledgement and doesn’t waste their time, “I have heard this evening that a story is circulating that the two of you have become engaged. And I am concerned what this could mean for the rest of the evening, so, if you wouldn’t mind, should I be congratulating you both?”

Caleb’s jaw drops in clear shock and Mollymauk makes a sound that could be a disbelieving laugh, “No, not unless one of us proposed in our sleep!”

“People are saying this? I don’t understand,” murmurs Caleb.

Verin watches them keenly but he is convinced, “Then someone has decided to tell a story about you both and make sure that it is heard tonight. Could it have been anyone you arrived with?”

“No, no, no one we came with would dare disturb any of your engagement balls,” Caleb assures Verin, still clearly worried. “Essek told us how important it all is. You said this could affect your evening? You think this could affect your engagement formalisation?”

“If my mother hears about it and accuses the Cobalt Soul of overshadowing her son’s engagement ball, yes, it could,” Verin has been thinking about this a little more. “Or someone could wish to cause trouble for either of you, for Nicodranas, for the Cobalt Soul. Here, there is no such thing as harmless gossip.”

Caleb nods in understanding but Mollymauk is looking at Verin more calculatingly, though his smile somehow remains relaxed and inviting, “We were told you urgently needed to talk to us about your brother. Was that a cover to get us here for a private word?”

Ah, so, this is Verin’s next question. He shakes his head, “No, that is something else that needs addressing and it is connected to your nonexistent engagement. Do you know, before I heard that story tonight, I was convinced that you were both courting my brother.”

That gains him a completely shocked silence, and Caleb pales remarkably. He mutters in Zemnian and reaches for Mollymauk’s hand, which he is immediately granted. Mollymauk himself looks the stillest Verin has ever seen him, apart from his tail which swishes rapidly. Verin eyes Caleb worried, the human looks as though he might fall down at any moment.

“Please, take a seat,” he directs them to the nearest sofa and seats himself in the matching armchair that is almost opposite it. “Would you like some water?”

“Nein…no, no, thank you,” Caleb manages, seated now next to Mollymauk, their hands still intertwined. “You thought we were…Beau has been saying our interest is plain on my face, does Essek think this too, but why would he avoid us tonight, he should be relieved-.”

“He didn’t look relieved,” Molly replies, his tail twitching. “He was hiding everything, he was running.”

Verin tunes them out for a moment, absorbing this revelation. Caleb and Molly are interested in Essek and think that Essek does not return their interest so the story of Caleb and Molly becoming engaged should relieve Essek. Light, what a mess. And at Verin and Olara’s engagement ball, a very sly plan if intentional.

“Essek had no idea it was a possibility until I asked him the same question,” Verin reveals. “I thought there was a courtship because, yes, of how you have always looked at him and treated him, and because of the letters, it is part of a drow courtship. And because of how happy it all made my brother, the way he touches you, he never initiates touch.”

“And you were going to warn us off tonight?” guesses Mollymauk, his tone deceptively light.

Verin immediately shakes his head, “No, once tonight was successful, tomorrow I was going to tell our mother that I would take on the responsibility of overseeing Essek’s future marriage. Once my engagement is formalised, there will be many offers for Essek. Not just because of his high place at court, but because marrying into the Thelyss family would now mean marrying into a connection with the Solthi family too. And I want to see Essek in a marriage that brings him personal happiness, not have it arranged as a politically satisfying step for our family, as everything else in his life is.”

“Like your own engagement, you mean?”

“Mollymauk,” Caleb hisses.

But Verin laughs, he takes no offence. He can see that Mollymauk wants information and that he is being protective of Essek, which is exactly what Verin wants to see. It also confirms something that Verin had wondered earlier.

“It’s fine. You don’t know anything about drow courtships or marriages, do you?” he asks, his tone warm.

“Enlighten us, please,” Caleb asks quietly, need in his voice.

Verin nods, “My marriage has been arranged, yes. Many are in our society, for family advantage above all things. Our parents’ marriage was made this way and our mother would never describe it as unhappy. It was successful, because it gained her two sons and a stronger position in society. It didn’t seem unhappy to us when we were boys, because it was normal. There was no love, no affection, but neither was expected.”

“That doesn’t sound happy,” Mollymauk commented. “Successful, yes, but not happy.”

“The success of it made them both happy,” Verin replies. “That was what they were seeking and what they got. Once I returned from the military, years after leaving, one of my priorities was having a hand in my marriage. More than a hand. I had enjoyed my time away from home, and saw many different manners of marriage, and knew now what I wanted. I was considered a war hero which our mother could boast about and seek an excellent match for. I showed a strong interest in this, I made sure I only showed interest in the right families and met several eligible drow, after exchanging letters first.”

He remembers Olara’s letters, how she had spoken of the right subjects; providing an heir, keeping the home, attending the right events. She had spoken of her sisters too and her talk of doing her best for them, worrying about them, had reminded him of himself and Essek. When they had met, for a first chaperoned conversation, her beauty and her smile had pleased him and how, while she had been dutifully respectful and polite, she hadn’t shrunk back from his mother. As the courtship had progressed and Verin had felt warm every time he had thought of her, they had been permitted a single conversation without a chaperone and he had taken her gloved hand and had asked if she felt she could make a home with him where they defined their own happiness. He had worded it in a way that she could have ignored, or that Verin could have passed off as a soldier’s off-colour joke. But she had smiled and squeezed his hand and had said that she did.

Caleb’s gaze widens at the mention of letters as Verin states, “I met many of these eligible drows, I told our mother my thoughts only pertaining to what she thought of as important in a marriage. And I chose Olara, because she warmed me, I felt I would be happy with her, and because she is from an extremely well-thought of family, high up in society.”

Mollymauk laughs in admiration, “You played your mother’s game, but kept to your own rules. I like that a lot.”

Verin smiles back, letting his own satisfaction show, “Indeed. Now our mother is extremely pleased with my marriage, and so am I, for vastly different reasons.”

“The letters,” asks Caleb. “What do they mean?”

“In a drow courtship, it is the first way to see if you wish to meet someone, if you like their letters. Then there is a chaperoned visit, many in fact, and then a visit without a chaperone and usually it is decided then.”

“Oh,” breathes Caleb. “So we in fact, we followed this closely.”

“In your own way,” agrees Verin. “And outsiders wouldn’t be expected to keep exactly to the conventions. I thought you were doing it in your own way for Essek. It made me very happy, to see him so happy. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for him.”

“Gods, you really mean that, don’t you,” muses Mollymauk. “You were going to go all out for your brother, for him to be with us, even though I get called demon spawn more often than not.”

Verin nods, truly the Dynasty is not kind to tieflings. Since he was young, Verin has heard them described as a ‘pleasure species’ but he’s also heard them called demons. This is despite how some tieflings, like Jester and her mother, now hold very high places in society across many kingdoms. Mollymauk never dresses to hide, he is always in bold colours and styles, and he wears an incredible amount of jewellery, though tonight he appears to be wearing less and his make-up is a little more subtle than usual too. It still sparkles against his purple skin though and his matching purple hair flows down his back unbraided, a defiance against conventional style. He reminds Verin of other tieflings he has met on his military travels, warm and boundlessly open with an incredible capacity for affection. And Verin has seen how Essek has responded to that in person, his awed disbelief that anyone so striking would want to be close to him, and how Mollymauk would touch Essek so carefully when it doesn’t fit Mollymauk’s nature. Of course Verin would welcome him at Essek’s side.

“I would have emphasised to our mother the wonderful connections you both have to different kingdoms,” he replies. “How well connected we would be as a family, especially considering how well thought of you both are where you are now living. I would have talked about how much could be gained. She would have welcomed you greatly for that.”

He takes a moment and sighs, thinking of his brother, now likely worrying himself to high anxiety and blaming himself.

“I caused my brother a lot of pain when we were younger,” he says softly. “I was not good at obeying the rules here and Essek, as the older, was blamed for my behaviour. He was expected to set an example and he often took the blame when things went badly, to spare me the punishment.”

“What was the punishment?” asks Caleb, just as softly.

Verin’s mouth thins, trying not to remember Essek’s hard outward breaths at those times, the only signal of the pain he had been enduring. Even then, he hadn’t cried in front of their mother.

“Beatings, so that the lesson would be remembered,” he replies quietly. “He would only cry when it was the two of us, hidden away in a room together after he’d been told to think hard about what he’d done. Once I was old enough to realise I could stop it from happening as much, I made sure to own up when it was my fault.”

That hadn’t pleased Essek but he hadn’t been able to stop Verin from doing so. Caleb and Mollymauk both look furious and like they’d like to punish Essek and Verin’s mother. Verin smiles, to reassure them and because he’s touched by their reaction. It’s an instinctive one and not one that is faked. His brother has fallen for good-hearted people.

“The beatings stopped when we were too old for it to be enforced,” Verin continues. “Essek was already striving high in his studies and our mother could see he would be exceptional though she never told him that. She never has. I, on the other hand, was a disappointment and I couldn’t understand why Essek didn’t hate it as much as I did. He’d found his place in life, or so I thought, and he’d already had offers of work for when he completed his studies, work that he knew he’d enjoy. And he wanted to please our mother, her goals were his goals. I understood wanting to please her, while also knowing I constantly disappointed her. I hated the feeling. So I left.”

Verin bows his head, remembering that day. He packed his bags and he left, having already signed up for life as a soldier. He was old enough that his mother wouldn’t be notified. He’d wanted a life where his skills were appreciated and where he could be anywhere but a house where he never seemed to do anything right.

“There was no argument, no big confrontation,” he explains. “I left when they were both out of the house, leaving behind a letter for each. I wrote to Essek when I could, sometimes he responded. I didn’t think about what I’d done to him, leaving him to be the sole focus of her impossible standards, until I returned home a couple of years ago, because of an injury. He was…cold and distant. He was like our mother. He was hurt from me abandoning him, I could see that. For all his distance, he could not hide from me.”

“We met that Essek,” Caleb murmurs. “He was very confused by us.”

“Mmm, there we were in court because of Jester and her mama, honoured guests and he didn’t know what to think,” remembers Mollymauk with a wide smile. He nudges his boyfriend. “It was love at first sight for you.”

Caleb’s face warms as he corrects, “Interest at first sight, love at first conversation.”

“They talked practically all night, all about science,” Mollymauk tells Verin, fondly. “I had to drag Caleb to bed, I nearly dragged Essek to bed with us too. The sight of the two of them, faces all lit up as they talked and paged through books and got ink all over their fingers, it was a sight to see.”

Caleb blushes deeper but Verin smiles. He can easily see how his brother fell in love with Caleb, the Zemnian is humanly handsome with his long copper hair and beard and his shy smiles, though Verin assumes that those smiles grow when discussing science with Essek or when entertained by Mollymauk. Caleb is awkward in a way that reminds Verin of Essek and clearly shares his passion for science. Together, they are an obvious couple. But Verin has also seen the adoring look on Caleb’s face when he looks at Essek. It is not just a meeting of the minds.

“So, was it love at first sight for you, Mollymauk?” Verin asks.

“Lust at first sight for sure, Then love once I’d spent more time with him, seeing him actually smile, hearing him make jokes. I told Caleb I was in trouble, that I was going to scare him away from both of us, because I can’t stop touching and he’s the opposite. I was a court performer who could barely read before Jester got me elevated, I still am mostly. I had no chance with him.”

Verin can’t help laughing, his heart glad, and he quickly gestures, “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, either of you. It’s just that I had a very similar talk with my brother before I sent for you both.”

Caleb looks overwhelmed by wonder, “Was?”

Verin smiles at them, warmly, “My brother cares for you both, but he is convinced that neither of you are interested in him for a courtship.”

“Cares for us?”

“I won’t be more specific, that is for my brother to say,” Verin says seriously. “But I will tell you that he has never reached for people as he reaches for you, ever.”

He gives them a moment to absorb this, smiling as Mollymauk’s tail wraps securely around Caleb like they both need the anchor. Verin continues, “Is this why you didn’t reveal your feelings for him? You believed them one-sided?”

“Yes, and we didn’t know how to approach him. It had to be careful, this was obvious, but then a drow courtship was mentioned in passing only and Essek wouldn’t touch anything close to the subject. He blushed greatly when Jester asked him many questions about drow procreation, because of the drow customers of her mother.”

Verin has to laugh again, it is an arresting image and Jester, in his experience, asks questions earnestly and not to embarrass. Poor Essek, that must have mortified him.

“Eventually, I was able to procure a book that featured drow courting, through an, ah, unconventional shop, and we didn’t even know if it was factual,” Caleb rambles. “And Essek was so overwhelmed by all of us, we thought for sure that anything closer than friendship was not part of his wants at all. We have been delighted with his friendship.”

Verin nods slowly, letting out a sigh. Of course. They were kind and very thoughtful with Essek, which is exactly what Essek needs and deserves. But it is a rare case of that kindness and thoughtfulness also causing pain for all involved.

“You all changed him so much,” Verin comments. “Essek had been this way for so long, so focused on his work, so far from his own happiness, so far from everybody. But you all persisted in talking to him and spending time with him.”

“We didn’t really give him a choice,” Mollymauk laughs. “He didn’t once tell us to fuck off though, which we took as great encouragement.”

“He was confused by us, and wanted to solve the mystery that we posed,” Caleb adds with his own small smile. “As I said, he had not met people like us before, for sure never at court. And then, he told me many weeks later, he found he wanted our company.”

Verin’s smile softens, that was how it had started for Essek it seemed. These most unusual people getting under his skin, becoming his friends, and then the love he developed for Caleb and Mollymauk. Verin can imagine it from what he saw develop in his brother.

“He still wants your company,” Verin tells them. “Has he told you about the gloves we wear, and what they mean?”

“He told us about the intimacy of touch in your society, how what could be seen as the most casual touch could mean much more for a drow,” Caleb rattles off, as though reciting from memory. Essek has praised his prodigious memory before. “He assured Jester that her hugs are acceptable, and that none of us had broken any terrible rules with him.”

Of course. But the touches between him and Caleb and Mollymauk mean something dear to Essek, something that is not casual and he kept seeking it until tonight, until the idea of an engagement between Caleb and Mollymauk shocked him into only seeing no future for him with them.

Verin nods, “Exactly so. Part of my engagement formalisation tonight will involve Olara and I publicly touching hands ungloved for the first time.”

Mollymauk smirks, “For the first time publicly? So there’s been some ungloved touches privately then.”

Verin smirks back, just a little, “Very privately. And only hand to hand.”

“And mouth to mouth?”

Verin laughs, he can imagine Essek stumbling over being asked the same thing, “Yes, again, very privately,”

Those kisses had been brief and chaste, and they had talked about it together first, during their unchapaeroned discussion. They had both laughed afterwards, pleasure flushing Olara’s skin and the same feeling warming Verin. Yes. they had made the right choice.

“I’m impressed,” declares Mollymauk. “Excellent work.”

“We were careful and brief,” states Verin. “And if you want to court Essek, I would ask for your care and patience. His life has been, until he met you and your friends, without any spontaneous affectionate touches. It is alien to him, and at best it makes him uncomfortable.”

“But he instigates touch with us,” Caleb murmurs in a wondering tone.

“Exactly,” Verin says, simply and with significance.

Mollymauk squeezes Caleb’s hand and for a moment nuzzles against the human, kissing his temple briefly, before turning to Verin, “It might not seem like it, but I’m not interested in touching Essek if it makes him uncomfortable, or worse.”

Verin smiles warmly, his determination to give his brother the best possible chance at personal happiness here only growing, “Thank you, Mollymauk. I appreciate knowing that.”

“It is the same for me,” Caleb adds. “I…it was a slower road for me too, with Mollymauk. And there were no problems like that.”

There could have been other problems then. But Verin dips his head, “Thank you, for trusting me with that. I don’t need to hear your stories. I’ve seen how you treat Essek and how he reacts to your letters.”

Caleb’s expression is grateful and a little disbelieving but tinged by determination. Verin’s smile takes on some humour, it can’t not in this situation.

“So, I assume you would both like to court my brother?” he asks, with inviting amusement.

Mollymauk grins, his red eyes bright, “Absolutely, my lord.”

Caleb nods, disbelief still shining on his face but it is paired with joy now too, “If he will have us, if he wants that, it would be a dream for us.”

“He means it literally, there’s been dreams,” adds Mollymauk with a teasing grin at Caleb.

Caleb protests, though he is smiling, “He is more than dreams though, he means more than that to us.”

“He does,” agrees Mollymauk, his smile now full of affection. “Oh, he does.”

Verin enjoys this reassurance, he will be able to tell his mother categorically that he has found an excellent match for Essek, that it will be a strong marriage built on friendship, mutual interests and shared goals, as well as excellent societal connections that will stretch across multiple kingdoms. She won’t care for the friendship and mutual interests but she will know that those things will pull Essek into the relationship as much as the advantages for the family.

“Excellent, you have his family’s approval. That is to be confirmed with my mother but I will do that tomorrow, once my standing in the family can be to all of our advantage, after I’ve located the source of the fake engagement story,” Verin pauses, struck by a sudden thought. “The reason you’re not engaged, if you don’t mind me asking, is it my brother?”

Mollymauk chuckles, “You know, marriage has never been a concern of mine, until I met Caleb and your brother and the idea of wearing jewellery that they’d chosen or made for the express reason of staying with me forever started to appeal. That was quite a shock, let me tell you. Now, I’d marry Caleb tomorrow, tonight even, though Jester would kill us for doing it without her. But we agreed it didn’t feel right yet, not with Essek in our hearts as well.”

“It felt incomplete, and incorrect,” nods Caleb, his brow furrowing with sadness and yearning.

Happiness for his brother surges through Verin as he smiles at the couple before him. He couldn’t ask for more for Essek, if only Essek would believe it was possible for himself.

“I don’t think Essek was interested in a romantic courtship until he met both of you,” Verin tells them softly. “So, you are well matched.”

“We will be careful with him,” Caleb says, his eyes very serious. “His pace, however slow, will not hurt us.”

“I think you’ll be past the first stages of courtship thanks to your letters,” muses Verin. “But we can discuss that tomorrow.”

Mollymauk beams, “I can’t wait. And I never thought I’d say that about a formal courtship.”

“It will be many first times for us all,” says Caleb with a soft smile as he presses his and Mollymauk’s joined hands to his chest.

Verin stands with a smile, checking the clock as he does. He has more time until the formalisation, but he means to give Essek as much time as possible to at least attempt to resolve this before then. Mollymauk and Caleb stand too as Verin pulls the rope to signal the servants.

“I hope you will both be at my wedding as Essek’s guests,” he tells the pair sincerely. “No matter what happens tonight, thank you for being such good friends to him.”

Caleb demures, “He has been a wonderful friend to us, we did not all make it easy for him.”

Verin laughs slightly, “That probably helped. As you said, he wanted to solve the mystery of you and your friends.”

“And he didn’t solve the one we were carrying for him,” smiles Molly. “Though I suppose we’re even, seeing as we didn’t spot what he was carrying for us.”

A servant discreetly enters at the back of the room, Verin asking him, “Where is my brother right now?”

“In the gardens, my lord, taking the air before the formalisation.”

Ah, perfect for some acceptable privacy too. Verin smiles at his guests, “Excellent, please take my guests to him. He’ll be expecting them, and fetch them all again once the formalisation is due to start.”

“Yes, my lord. Expositor Lionett wishes to speak to you, Lady Solthi has asked her to speak to you urgently.”

Verin nods in recognition, the engagement story most likely. Beauregard is likely to be extremely angry that someone has been spreading stories about the man she considers her brother, especially stories that were likely spread to harm. Caleb looks apologetic but Verin waves it away.

“It’s fine, I’m sure together we can solve this issue. Please, go and see Essek. I will see you later.”

“We’ll deliver him for your formalisation,” Mollymauk agrees.

“Deliver yourselves too,” Verin corrects with a smile. 

“Nothing is certain yet,” Caleb warns, trepidation slightly seeping into his joy.

Verin smiles and offers his hand for a shake. Caleb is so much like Essek, “But it will be.”

Mollymauk grins, his whole expression lively and loving, “Come on, magician. We have a love waiting for us.”

Caleb doesn’t argue that description, shaking Verin’s hand firmly before leaving with Mollymauk who accepts a handshake too, his hand warm. Only a moment after they leave, another servant shows Beauregard in, accompanied by her wife, Yasha, who smiles despite looking concerned.

“Hello, Lord Thelyss,” she says softly, bowing.

“Yeah, hi,” Beauregard adds, managing a bow too. She looks furious. “There’s stories running around here tonight about Caleb and Molly being engaged? Like a secret engagement, that the Empire doesn’t know about?”

That is more detail than Verin has heard. This story really is designed to hurt. “So my fiance tells me. I’ve sent Caleb and Mollymauk to discuss the possibility of a real courtship with Essek. But as I know my family didn’t start this story and I doubt any of your people did, we need to locate the source and the purpose of it. This gossip was created to cause trouble or worse.”

Beauregard grins, though her eyes remain furious, “Are we going to have a fight at your engagement ball? I was told specifically not to do that.”

Verin laughs, “And I’d prefer it if you didn’t. I want a successful formalisation, and I want to find out who is trying to prevent that while also trying to hurt my brother and his loves. That will give you someone to fight tomorrow, perhaps.”

Beau’s grin is incredibly sharp now, as she produces a small book of paper from somewhere about her person, “Let’s go.”

Chapter Text

This waiting might possibly be the Nine Hells. Essek gazes around the gardens, lit by lamps in the dark evening. He can still hear the sounds of the ball. Olara is keeping everything merry and friendly inside the house. She danced with Essek for two dances before she went to dance with someone from an extremely important family, at least one of them is favoured by the Queen. Essek keeps track of who is so favoured, but knows no one can threaten his position because no one can come close to his scientific work, no one but Caleb.

Essek taps his fingers against his thigh, grateful for the cover of the mantle. He cannot believe this is his evening. It is supposed to be centred on Verin and Olara but Verin has spent time counselling Essek and is now talking to Caleb and Molly, who might leave the event after that conversation. Essek takes a deep breath, his fingers trembling and pain branching out through his chest and further. They could be engaged, they could be horrified or embarrassed by his behaviour. They could pity him. He does not want to see pity in their eyes.

“My lord.”

He spins and there are Caleb and Molly, hand in hand, a beautiful image together. It both makes him happy and makes his pain worse, as this could be the last time he ever sees them. The servant who accompanied them bows.

“Your brother asked that I return to inform you about the formalisation starting,” he states.

Essek nods, grateful for the distraction and for his brother’s forethought. Nothing should ruin Verin and Olara’s night.

“Thank you,” he replies softly.

He clears his throat as the servant leaves. He doesn’t know where to look, he knows where he wants to look. His gaze is drawn back to the couple who are staying a painful few steps away from him. They are beautiful, and they’re looking at him with great concern. The silence is uncomfortable and Essek opens his mouth to speak, to say something, to tell them they can leave, that they don’t have to worry about him and his uncomfortable feelings. But he finds he is almost swaying towards them as he goes to speak and he stills. He’s already making things worse. 

But something breaks in Caleb’s expression and he steps forward, bringing Molly with him.

“No, Essek, please,” he pauses, and smiles tentatively. “We don’t want you to give us so much space, unless you want to.”

Essek eyes Caleb, but he looks like he really means it and that it really matters to him. And Molly smiles encouragingly.

“We want you close,” he says.

Essek’s fingers tremble and then shift under his mantle, the pain in him growing because he wants to be close to them, to touch them butterfly-quick to relish later.

But, “Even after speaking to my brother?” he asks, the words full of emotive disbelief.

“Yes,” Caleb says firmly, his eyes locked onto Essek. “More than anything.”

The pain in Essek feels frozen now, he is lost for words again. This can’t be real. But they are here, standing close, and looking at him intently. It is like so many of his dreams.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Molly says, like his words aren’t making Essek’s whole world tremble, let alone his fingers. “Let’s sit down together for a bit.”

Essek’s breath stutters at the affectionate nickname. That is very much a first for him and he likes how it feels. He feels warmed by it, his heart beating a little faster.

“Oh, was that okay?” Molly asks, frowning. “Sorry, I should have checked. Too much?”

Essek shakes his head slowly, “No…no, I…no one has ever called me that before.”

Molly’s smile is warm and pleased, “Allow me to be the first then. Do drow use pet names?”

“Ah, for courting. The stage before a formalised engagement, if it is going well, a pair might call each other ‘dear’, if they are inclined. Then after the formalisation, they would use ‘dearest.’”

Molly mouths both words to himself, “And how do you feel about that?”

Essek stares wide-eyed, stunned to his core. His heartbeat is even faster now, “Why…why should I be feeling anything about that?”

Caleb jumps in with a reassuring smile, “You’re getting ahead of yourself, Mollymauk. It’s okay, Essek, we don’t have to talk about that.”

“We don’t, I’m sorry,” adds Molly gently. “Let’s sit down, come on.”

Feeling completely poleaxed, Essek allows himself to be led to a carved wooden bench, just big enough for all three of them. Essek seats himself at one end, the other two sit beside him. They immediately hold hands, Molly pressing a kiss to Caleb’s bare knuckles, before they share a look that Essek wishes he could read. His fingers tremble under his mantle, he tries not to think about holding their hands.

“We are sorry for the story that is being talked about tonight at your brother’s engagement ball,” Caleb starts. “It is untrue, Molly and I are not engaged. Your brother is working with Beau to find out where this story has come from, I think.”

Essek nods, feeling on steadier ground now, “It could lead to his engagement not being formalised.”

“It could have been started to undermine the Dynasty or the Empire,” says Caleb. “Such things have been known to happen from a small story.”

A small story. It hadn’t felt like that to Essek. It had been a sharp shock, a reminder of what he truly could not have, despite Verin’s protests. But Molly and Caleb don’t look pitying or uncomfortable. Essek has no idea where this conversation is going.

“Well, my money’s on Beau and Verin stamping the problem out,” states Molly, his tail resting on Caleb’s knees. “I can see your brother as a soldier, he’s very…implacable. Is that the word?”

Essek nods slowly, “I’ve never thought of him much that way. But I’ve seen it as he’s worked on completing his engagement, it has been good to see.”

He smiles slightly, thinking of the light in Verin’s eyes that has been present whenever he has been with Olara or when he talks about her. She is an excellent choice for a wife, they will advantage both of their families, and they seem to make each other happy. Essek is still surprised that Verin focused on a marriage that would be so approved by their mother. It is a side of his brother that Essek hasn’t seen since they were tiny boys, before Verin claimed that not only was it impossible to please their mother, but that he was going to stop trying.

“You must be very proud of him,” Caleb smiles softly, breaking through Essek’s thoughts.

“I am,” Essek’s smile widens a little in response. “The match is…unexpected but every side of it is advantageous. Olara is an excellent fit for the family.”

“But you like her too,” Molly notes. “You did say so, in a letter.”

Essek tries not to blush at the memory of the letters, innocent in content but not in the meaning he allowed himself to pretend existed.

“Yes, she is pleasing company. But that doesn’t affect the engagement.”

“Oh, I think it would have,” smiles Molly, his knee nudging closer to Essek’s. “Your brother cares a lot about your happiness.”

Essek takes a deep breath. He can feel them approaching the subject, it feels so perilous. He wants to leave. He wants to apologise, but Caleb speaks first.

“Essek, we are very sorry that we didn’t realise our actions, our letters, could have been seen as a drow courtship. If we had known, we would have asked formally first.”

Whatever Essek was going to say, dies on his tongue. He stares at them, his heartbeat racing. Verin’s previous words about his friends’s feelings for him run through his head. But this can’t be, this is not possible.

“What?” he manages, badly.

“Essek, we have, both of us, for some time now, felt that we have you in our hearts, not only as a dear friend but as someone we want to court,” Caleb says, his eyes soft and loving and trained on Essek. “But with your dislike of such conversations and how we all overwhelm you, we were sure any sort of romantic relationship or more would hold no interest for you.”

Oh. Essek feels completely frozen, his thoughts are flying. He can see the logic in their reasoning, it is entirely sound. It has protected Essek time and again from other unwanted advances, until now. They want a relationship, with him?

“I…” he trails off before trying again. “Both of you? Even though I cannot give you what each of you give to each other?”

He has been present when they have exchanged casual loving touches and casual loving kisses. He thinks he might like that, but not immediately. It will be a poor arrangement for them.

Molly shifts so that his knee presses against Essek’s, “Sweetheart, we don’t love you to gain access to your body. We want to be with you, whatever that means for you.”

Molly’s tail skirts Essek’s knees but all Essek is aware of is Molly using the word love. They love him.

“Essek?”

Essek shakes his head, dazedly, “I’m sorry. You love me?”

Later, he’ll be mortified by the bald question but Molly grins, “We do, heart and soul. We have done for a while.”

“That is why we did not approach you or touch you as we wanted,” explains Caleb. “We love you too much to make you uncomfortable in any way. But your brother, he said you have been touching us more than you would touch anyone else.”

Essek manages a nod and Molly presses his knee more against Essek’s, “Is this okay?”

Essek nods again, “Yes, please.”

Molly smiles at him, and oh, there is love there. Essek has seen Molly direct that smile at Caleb before. And Caleb is looking at them both in the same loving way. Oh. These are facts, evidence. This is what love looks like for them.

“You love me,” he says faintly.

Molly grins again, the spade of his tail so close to Essek’s knee, “Absolutely, darling.”

“We do,” agrees Caleb, his tone as warm and loving as his expression. “Very much.”

Essek’s fingers tremble, emerging slightly from the mantle. He doesn’t know what to do. His heart is beating incredibly fast and it feels so warm, Essek feels as though his bones might melt. Then Molly offers his hand

“Only if you want to, darling.”

Essek manages a strangled chuckle, oh Light, “This does not feel possible.”

“It is, it’s all yours, we are yours,” Molly says, as though it is that simple. “Take however long you need.”

Essek takes a deep breath, the two of them aren’t looking impatient. They look like they are enjoying watching him. Essek’s heartbeat skips. His fingers rise, he has been given permission. He can have this, and he wants it. He really does want to touch them.

His gloved hand rests in Molly’s bare one. Molly squeezes his fingers gently and looks incredibly pleased, “Thank you, darling.”

He is completely sincere. Caleb offers a hand too and Essek haltingly places his free one in Caleb’s. He breathes out shakily and looks at his hands, touching his loves.

“I am sorry for the gloves,” he feels the need to say. “I know it must seem strange, but in our culture-.”

“Verin has explained,” Caleb interrupts gently. “We know now even a gloved touch has great meaning, and we are honoured. We don’t expect your bare hands. Would it be easier if we wore gloves?”

Essek shakes his head immediately, “No, unless you want to? There are different expectations for those who are not drow.”

“If you are sure,” Caleb checks, then gently squeezes Essek’s hand. “Well, Essek Thelyss, if this is not too much, we would both very much like to court you.”

“Your brother said the letters would count as the first stage already,” Molly puts in. “And he’s aiming to lead on finding you a suitable marriage from tomorrow, seeing as he’ll have more standing in your family apparently. He’s very keen to see you happy and seems to think me and the magician are capable of helping with that.”

Essek chokes out a breath. A courtship, which is only started for one reason, a marriage. Molly and Caleb are thinking about marrying him. He looks at them and sees their expressions full of that love again, so he cannot deny it. They want to marry him, because they love him. His vision blurs for a moment and he realises, oh Light, he is crying.

“Liebling,” Caleb sounds worried. “We don’t have to think about that, if it is not what you want or if it is too much.”

Essek shakes his head, trying to find the words for this moment, a moment that was purely impossible to him before. They want to marry him. Light take him, this must be a dream. But he feels the cold of the evening and feels their hands in his, a sensation he has only imagined until now and it never felt like this. Molly’s hand is very warm of course and they are both holding his hands gently. When he shifts his fingers, he feels their grips loosen as though they will let go of him, if he wants that. His heart warms again.

“I did not think I could want this,” he murmurs quietly, as tears start to drip down his face unheeded. “It was not…are you sure? I do not know how much I will ever want, physically. I did not think I would welcome or seek touch even like this until I met you two.”

Caleb’s expression is so tender, it makes Essek feel a different pain. It is exquisite.

“Whatever you are comfortable with, what you want, is enough for us,” Caleb tells him softly. “Truly. If this is everything, we will be glad of it.”

“Whatever the two of us do together,” Molly indicates himself and Caleb with his tail. “It’s not a comment on what we expect with you. We’re all different people, we’re going to want different things. And if you want us to be less physical together in front of you, we can do that.”

“Oh no,” Essek says instantly, blushing afterwards. “You shouldn’t have to change your relationship or make it less for me, please.”

Molly’s smile sharpens a little and he nudges his knee against Essek’s teasingly, “Do you like seeing us together?”

Essek’s blush intensifies. While he would feel a pained pang seeing Molly kiss Caleb freely because such a thing felt out of Essek’s reach, he had also been happy to see them happy together. He wants both of them to be loved. And in deeply private moments, he had been able to admit to himself that it pleased him in a very personal way to see them together. It’s not a desire he has often felt before, and never to this degree.

Essek finds himself stammering, “I…Oh, yes? But only as you have been together, publicly, I mean.”

Caleb squeezes his hand, “Thank you for telling us, liebling.”

“Every step we take, we will talk about it,” Molly promises. “Nothing will be expected, except honesty, okay? And if you can’t find the words, tell us that. We don’t want to hurt you.”

Essek nods, there are more tears falling. He hasn’t ever had people in his life, potential lovers, who have taken such care with him, checking about things that are so innocuous for so many people, especially outside of the Dynasty. Their love shines in their faces as they look at him and smile at each other. And, incredibly, this is his now. He can have this.

A little overwhelmed gasp escapes him and Molly leans towards him before asking, “Love, would you like to sit between us? Just for some closeness. Unless that’d make things worse.”

Essek shakes his head, his heart beating fast. Sitting with them before, he has thought about sitting closer and recognised that this was no idle idea but something he actually wanted. He has never sought touch for comfort, it has always felt like it would make it worse, but when he has missed them, when he has been suffering his mother’s perfectionism, he has wanted them close.

“Please, if that is all right,” he checks quietly.

“Of course,” Caleb murmurs, his tone low and rough.

Molly turns his head to briefly kiss Caleb then he stands and encourages Essek to sit in his place before sitting where Essek just was. Caleb and Molly offer their hands again and Essek takes them, taking deep breaths as the two press closer to his sides. He feels so warmed, his heart feels as though it is glowing.

“Here, if you like?” Caleb offers him a crumpled handkerchief.

Essek accepts it, “Thank you. I apologise, I wasn’t expecting the evening to be like this.”

“It’s been a lot for you, hasn’t it?” comments Molly, his hair touching Essek’s shoulder as he moves. “You’re doing marvellously.”

Essek huffs in disbelief and pats his face dry, though pulls a horrified face when he inspects the handkerchief and sees heavy silver streaks there, “I will have to redo my paint, for the formalisation.”

“For your role in it,” Caleb nods.

Essek nods, smiling down at the handkerchief. He knows that Caleb remembers everything he reads, but it is still flattering to know that his letters are so remembered. 

“And you don’t need to apologise,” Molly tells him softly. “We’re honoured you’d show us your tears. You can always cry on us, if you need to, if you can.”

Caleb nods and gestures for Essek to keep the handkerchief which makes Essek blush a little. He folds it away into an inner pocket. He hopes he won’t be crying again in front of them too soon but he nods his thanks. They haven’t made him feel like a disappointment for such a strong show of emotions, and he’s seen all of their friends show emotions in many different colours and strengths before, and he’s seen all of them accept that. It had been appalling and fascinating to Essek at first, these days he admires them all for it.

“Now, we have a little time, we should talk about lines not to cross,” Caleb says quietly. “Hand holding is acceptable, being close like this, yes?”

Essek nods, shyly, and Molly nudges him gently, “Little touches, like this, like we did with you before, and like you did with us, right?”

Essek smiles, thinking of how much he treasured every touch, “Right.”

Molly drops a hand to Essek’s knee and squeezes gently. Essek’s next breath is sharp, mostly from the surprise of it, but he likes the warmth of Molly’s skin through the fabric of his trousers. He likes being close enough for such a touch to happen. It is very new though, it makes him feel as he did before, as though he is too far behind them.

“I would like to get used to that,” he says very softly.

“Because you want to or because you think you should?” asks Molly, his gaze intent.

“I want to,” Essek says quickly. “Though I feel very far behind you, that I am dragging you back and hindering you together.”

They both shake their heads immediately, “Not at all,” Caleb tells him firmly, squeezing Essek’s hand. “Your pace is your pace and we are happy keeping to it. You don’t know how we have talked of such touches with you.”

Essek is sure that he must be blushing a deep plum. These touches are so innocent compared to what the two of them seem to seek in each other. But Molly and Caleb both have dark hungry eyes and neither of them is trying to touch him more. Their hands are still on him.

“That is hard to believe,” Essek states shakily. “I want to believe it though, so much.”

“Maybe we’ll tell you one day, how we’ve talked about you,” Molly suggests, in a low, inviting tone. “If you’re interested.”

Essek feels heat dart through him. It’s not something he’s ever considered before, but the thought of these dear voices, low and hot, talking to him about wanting his touch and wanting to touch him…Essek swallows, his mouth is suddenly very dry. A small bud of arousal is growing deep inside of him. It takes his breath away.

His loves are patient as he breathes through it. He is overwhelmed by want, it is probably quieter want than most people experience but it feels bright and strong to Essek, in a way that he wants to both feel more of and pull back from.

“One day,” he manages. “But I won’t be able to…I have to stop before, when-.”

“When you are overwhelmed,” guesses Caleb. “One touch or one word or watching something does not mean something more has to happen.”

He smiles a little self-deprecatingly then, “When Mollymauk and I first met, I was on a slow road myself, wounded by many different griefs. I did not feel worthy of touch or desire. Molly was very patient, he showed me great love.”

“I remember us both needing to be very patient and loving,” smiles Molly, his smile slanting with memories. “We’re saying, Essek, you tell us what you need and what you don’t need and we won’t cross any lines until you decide differently.”

“And if my lines never change?”

Molly’s tail bumps against Essek’s leg and Molly draws Essek’s hand up near his mouth, Essek can feel his breath through the glove, “Then we’ll still keep to them, and we’ll still love you.”

He squeezes Essek’s hand and asks, “May I?”

He wants to kiss Essek’s hand, even through the glove. Essek is speechless for a moment or two, his thoughts feel pulled apart by disbelief and want, the bud of arousal growing a little more. He wants this, the threat of feeling overwhelmed again is definitely simmering under his skin but he wants this. No one has wanted to kiss his hand before.

“Does it mean something?” Caleb wants to know, studying Essek’s face.

“It is…intimate,” Essek settles on, wanting to ensure that they know what these things mean now, not wanting any more misunderstandings between them. “It is a gesture for those that are sure of their courting.

Molly smiles broadly, “I’m sure. But would you like it?”

Essek can only nod, amazed at what is happening and at how dearly his friends want this, want him.

“Please,” he can only say.

He watches as Molly presses a lingering kiss to his knuckles, his eyes flicking up to watch Essek. Essek lets out a breath as Molly presses a briefer kiss to Essek’s hand and then keeps hold of the hand on his own knee.

“Okay?” Molly checks. 

Essek manages a breathless nod, his heartbeat is cantering. That was warm, and wonderful and very arousing. No touches have ever felt like this before.

“I need to…” he is helpless to explain this without blushing down to his bones. He settles on, “I need a moment.”

Caleb’s face lights with understanding, though his eyes stay dark with want, “We can give you time alone?”

Essek considers this but shakes his head. It would help but he feels as though this would all be a dream without their presence, and he truly does not want it to be. And honestly, neither of them has moved to take advantage of his mood and press for more. They are people of their word, they love him and they meant it. Essek squeezes their hands.

“Thank you, no,” he murmurs.

He takes deep breaths and feels the arousal start to recede, to his relief. Caleb presses a little closer, “You can hold onto us for as long as you need, always.”

“Thank you,” Essek takes another steadying breath. “Truly, thank you, for all of this.”

“Thank you,” Molly replies. “You’re a blessing, darling. I’d say you don’t know what this means to us, but I think you do.”

Essek nods, and Caleb says softly, “So no kisses to the hand, or yes, but with warning?”

Essek blushes but nods, “The latter, please.”

“And not in public,” suggests Molly with a teasing wink.

His hand is still on Essek’s knee but it stays still. Essek nods and Molly asks suddenly, “I didn’t get an answer, about me using pet names for you?”

“Oh, like I said, they are not usual here. But…” Essek’s gaze fixes elsewhere as he continues, “I like it when you both use them.”

“May we call you dear?” asks Caleb.

Because they are a courting trio. Essek knows he is blushing again, he needs to control this before the formalisation, “Please, if you would still like to court me.”

Caleb smiles widely and squeezes Essek’s hand with delight, “I would love that, dear.”

“Mmm, you’re both dear,” Molly looks thrilled, his hair falling all over Essek’s shoulder again. It doesn’t tickle, in fact, it feels soft when some of it brushes Essek’s jaw. “There are so many ways I can adore you with words, I can’t wait.”

There are footsteps then and the servant appears, not looking at all shocked at Essek’s position between a known couple, one that has been highly gossiped about tonight, “The formalisation will begin soon. There is a room ready for your preparations.”

“Thank you.”

“Would you like us to come, or is this something you do alone traditionally?” asks Caleb.

“To be alone in preparation is not part of the traditions of tonight,” Essek says. “If you would like to join me? I don’t think it will be very interesting.”

“We’ll be looking at you, darling, we will be very interested,” replies Molly with a grin.

He stands and doesn’t pull Essek up with him. Instead he waits and lets Essek decide, leaving his palm open so that Essek can remove his hand too if he wants. Essek feels warm as he stands, keeping hold of both Caleb and Molly’s hands as Caleb stands and the servant leads them all back into the house.

Chapter Text

They are led past the ballroom, out of view, and into one of the smaller drawing rooms.

“I don’t have to be in the middle,” Essek tells them once the servant has left and shut the door behind him. “I don’t mind.”

“Tonight it’s your brother’s engagement ball, it’s your night,” Molly replies, letting go of Essek’s hand and running his fingers over Essek’s wrist briefly. “Or was it too much?”

“No, no, it was wonderful,” Essek replies, looking away for a moment to collect himself. “It was a dream.”

Caleb leans closer and presses the fingers of his free hand to the back of Essek’s hand, “I would like to kiss you right here, when you have more time to recover.”

Essek nods quickly, heat kindling in him again briefly but he forces his mind away from it, his brother needs him now. But to hear that Caleb wants that after he has seen how such a simple gesture undoes Essek… “Yes, I would like that too.”

“And I’d like to kiss you right here,” Molly’s fingers nearly brush Essek’s forehead, nearly. “If you’d like that.”

Molly often gives out forehead kisses among their friends, it is friendly, casual and loving. He hasn’t done it yet to Essek, something Essek had first been grateful for as he dreaded such a touch but he soon found there were moments when he wished for it, to his wretched surprise. It sounds like Molly has been thinking about it too. Essek likes that thought.

He clears his throat, “Yes, but not now.”

Molly squeezes his hand, “Of course. How about you show us how you get ready?”

There’s a hand mirror on the coffee table and a little tray with a selection of jewellery as well as a thin brush and a pot of silver paint. Essek checks his reflection, he doesn’t need a full re-paint thankfully. He opens the silver paint and dips the brush, starting to paint lines across his cheek and chin. He explains that they mark him as the first son and as the one who will be standing with his brother on Verin’s wedding day.

Molly makes an admiring noise, “You wear it incredibly well, sweetheart. The whole wedding party will be painted today then? And on the wedding day itself?”

Essek nods and checks his reflection before putting down the hand mirror. Molly stalks a little closer, asking, “And would we get to be painted up too? If we attend as your guests?”

Essek’s eyes widen. Oh, he hadn’t considered Molly and Calen in silver paint, “Ah, not today, but maybe for the wedding?”

Molly looks extremely pleased and Caleb smiles fondly at him, his eyes full of love. They stay that way when his gaze moves to Essek.

“You will have to help us, Essek, so that we do not embarrass you,” he says.

Essek nods slowly, “I could direct you?”

Molly grins and nudges gently against Essek’s side, “I’d be delighted for you to direct me.”

Caleb clears his throat while Essek turns away to collect himself, having not realised he would gain that response, “Do you need any of this jewellery, dear?”

Essek shakes his head, still turned away, and focuses on unfastening his mantle, “No, I’m wearing everything I need.”

He removes the mantle and folds it neatly onto the nearby sofa. The servants will have it later when he needs it. He checks the hand mirror again, wanting to ensure that his clothing looks correct. He smooths his hand down the front, yes. The suit is simple and flowing, in grey and purple. His make-up is perfect now and the silver polish on his fingernails matches both his make-up and his jewellery.

When he puts the hand mirror down, he finds that both Mollymauk and Caleb are watching him avidly, and they are holding hands again.

“Darling, that wasn’t boring at all,” Molly tells him, his eyes roving Essek. “You look gorgeous.”

“Truly,” adds Caleb, staring unabashedly.

Essek dips his head, feeling warm all over. “Thank you, you both look very lovely too.”

He’s speaking the truth. Molly is his usual unusual collection of startling colours and Caleb is in brown and green. The effort they have made is clear yet they are also completely themselves and Essek loves them for it. He loves them, and he can show that now.

“Thank you, I am glad the Cobalt Soul did not follow through in forcing me into their formal uniform,” comments Caleb, looking grateful.

“It wouldn’t suit you, darling, all that monkish formality. It’s terrible for our magician,” agrees Molly, before posing with his hip against the table. “I decided to dress a little less today. The attention should be on the bride.”

“I believe that’s for the wedding day, Mollymauk,” Caleb reminds him affectionately.

“True, but you shouldn’t outshine a bride on any of her engagement days either. And Essek likes her, so we like her. Hence a little less sparkle all round.”

Essek smiles, surprised and touched, “Thank you, Molly. That is very thoughtful.”

Molly smiles fondly at him and runs a hand down Essek’s arm, “You’re welcome, dear.”

“Do you need to do anything with your hair?” asks Caleb, gesturing.

Essek shakes his head, “It isn’t mandatory. But there are braid patterns for certain occasions, if a drow wishes to use them.”

“Are there braids we should be wearing?” asks Caleb. “For courting? Or for weddings?”

“Nothing compulsory," Essek pauses, then gazes at Caleb’s braid. “But there are courting braid patterns, if you would like them?”

He tries not to imagine Caleb’s long copper hair twisted in such a fashion, he tries but he fails. Caleb steps closer and offers his hand.

“I think I would like that,” he says softly as Essek takes his hand. “Do you think you could do the braiding for me? Or would that not be permitted?”

Essek’s breathing stutters again, “Ah, it is permitted. I would…like that, a lot.”

“Too much?”

Essek swallows, “For now, yes.”

“But you’d like to revisit the idea,” surmises Molly. “And darling, if you’d like your hair played with, I am very interested.”

“Me too,” added Caleb, squeezing Essek’s hand.

Oh, that is a thought that is going to linger; their hands running through his hair. Essek takes some steadying breaths. Neither Caleb or Molly push him to say or do anything, they stand with him and they wait. Essek sets his gaze on the table for a moment, on the jewellery there as he steadies himself. He hears a quiet kiss and his gaze darts to Caleb cupping Molly’s cheek, their expressions warm with smiles and love. He looks away but then looks again. He is allowed to now.

Molly rests a hand on Essek’s arm, “Okay? Did that feel good?”

“Yes, I’m…I’m getting used to being allowed to look and to allowing myself to like it.”

Molly squeezes his arm, “You’re doing beautifully. I won’t have my hair braided, it is useful during some performances but only then really.”

Essek nods, he can understand, “It won’t be expected of you.”

“What about jewellery, is there something I should or shouldn’t wear?”

Essek casts his gaze on the table again and then on the earrings, horn jewellery and rings that Molly is currently adorned with. He cannot imagine the tiefling without jewellery. He looks at the jewellery on the table again, an idea stirring in him.

“If you wanted,” he starts slowly. “There is no expectation, but I could choose some drow jewellery for you to wear?”

Molly’s eyes light up and his smile is teasing as he asks, “Essek, would you like to see me wear your jewellery?”

The teasing is gentle and Molly is clearly interested in the idea. Essek has seen the same expression on his face when addressing any new experience. But he is waiting for Essek’s answer and his hand is still on Essek’s arm. Caleb watches them, with a warm loving smile for both of them. There is true comfort in their touches, it is so strange and so wonderful. Essek’s heart is warm.

“I would like that,” he murmurs.

“I would love that,” grins Molly, squeezing Essek’s arm. “Could I choose some for you?”

“Within reason,” Essek decides, trying not to think about Molly placing rings on his fingers and earrings in his ears.

Molly runs his hand up to Essek’s shoulder, “I’m looking forward to it already.”

His hand goes nowhere near Essek’s ear but Essek’s next breath shudders all the same.

“Did you have an idea?” Molly asks, looking pleased. “You can tell us, darling. We won’t expect you to follow through on it, not until you’re ready. And Caleb always loves your ideas when you talk away about science.”

Essek looks at Caleb who nods. Essek thinks of Caleb’s enthusiasm when they discuss science and their experiments, and how they work together, sharpening each other’s skills, to the benefit of both their kingdoms and to the delight of the scientific curiosity that they both share. He tries not to think too much about Caleb applying that same enthusiasm to Essek, it is a staggering thought and Essek does not have the time now to recover from it.

“If you can share, we would love to hear,” Caleb tells him.

Essek nods, takes a deep steadying breath, and offers, haltingly with a blush, “For drow, our ears are very sensitive. So any touching of them, even what could seem the most innocent touch between drow, is viewed as highly intimate.”

Caleb’s eyes light up, “And you were talking about choosing jewellery which would include, I assume, earrings.”

Essek blushes more deeply and Molly’s hand squeezes his arm as the tiefling says softly, “Were you thinking about us helping you with those earrings?”

Essek cannot speak for a moment but he nods and takes deep breaths before managing, “I know it must seem strange as an intimacy-.”

“No, no, I think it makes a lot of sense,” Caleb tells him, his eyes dark now in a way that keeps Essek blushing. “We will make sure that we do not touch your ears until you consent to it.”

“And if you are ready for that for Verin’s wedding or at any other moment, we will make sure it is private,” Molly adds, his tone heated but his touch remaining exactly where it is. “If it means something to you, I can guarantee you, from your reaction just now alone, it will definitely mean something to us.”

They both have heated expressions now and Essek takes a moment to breathe through it, trying not to think about them talking close to his ears, feeling their breath there, and then their fingers gently fastening his earrings, caressing. His next breath shudders, he keeps breathing, holding their hands and staring at the nearest bookshelf, until his breathing evens out.

He finds he has leaned slightly into Caleb. Caleb smiles at him and lets go of his hand to slide a hand behind Essek’s back without touching.

He asks, “Yes?”

Essek nods slowly and feels the slow encompassing of Caleb’s arm around his waist, his hand gently tucked at Essek’s hip. Essek is sure now that if he simply twisted away, Caleb would let go of him immediately. Essek doesn’t feel trapped, like he previously assumed he would when noticing other couples. He feels warm, he is aware of Caleb’s nearness and he likes being so close, he likes what it means.

Molly rubs a thumb over Essek’s gloved knuckles, “You are a sight together. My sketches are going to be endless.”

Essek turns surprised, he knows Molly sketches and paints. But Molly has never talked about Essek featuring in any of them. Molly chuckles at Essek’s expression.

“Oh, sweetheart, if you knew how many of my sketches have featured you. I’d have painted you but they’d be harder to hide.”

“He gets your likeness well,” Caleb confirms. “He sketches you and I even when he is idle.”

“Well, you’re forever on my mind,” replies Molly, slipping close to kiss Caleb’s cheek and then his mouth, two quick kisses that make them both smile.

Essek smiles too, his gaze skittering away and then back again. Molly squeezes his hand and winks at him but doesn’t tease more. Instead he says, “If you ever want to sit for me, for a drawing or a painting, I’d love to create you on paper.”

Essek blinks at the idea, he’s never conceived of it. Molly’s art is part of who he is, he gets paid for it sometimes but he loves it as a hobby, as an extension of his creativity. Essek imagines it is the same way that he and Caleb feel about science, it employs them but they would do it regardless. To be part of that, to be part of something Molly loves, like how Essek shares science with Caleb, makes happiness bloom inside of him.

“Yes,” he says abruptly, then further. “I think I’d like that.”

Molly looks shocked and grasps his hand tighter, “Really, darling? You don’t have to.”

“No, I know. But I, I like the idea of being part of something you love, something that is such a part of you,” Essek frowns when Molly just stares at him. “If that is okay?”

“Okay?! You dear drow,” Molly says fervent and low. “I adore you and I would adore to have you before me to draw.”

His words and being are intense but he doesn’t drag Essek close or try to kiss him. For a wild moment, Essek thinks he would let Molly do it. But that thought is matched by the familiar threat of feeling overwhelmed. Caleb’s fingers stroke at his hip and Essek takes a deep breath, managing a smile.

“Sorry. Yes, I...I was overwhelmed by my own thoughts, not you.”

“Mm, I caused those thoughts,” Molly points out. “Sorry, dear, we aren't being considerate to you.”

“No, it’s okay.” 

And Essek realises that it is. As he's already told them, he doesn't want them to lessen themselves for him, and he doesn't want them to watch their words for him either. They both still look concerned so he attempts to explain.

“I am used to not enjoying touch, but I am getting used to how much I want to be close to you both, to touch you and be touched. The two feelings are often together now, I enjoy the want when I can sit with it. Being overwhelmed fades quicker when you are with me.”

Caleb’s hand squeezes at Essek’s hip, his smile is surprisingly proud, “We won’t rush you through these moments, dear. I’m glad we can help.”

Essek nods, wanting them to know, “You really do.”

Molly steps a little closer, his expression warm and proud too, “That’s wonderful to hear, darling. You don’t have to sit for me soon or at all.”

“No, no, I want to,” Essek blushes thinking about being the centre of Molly’s attention, with maybe Caleb sat watching too. “It may be a slow process though, I’m sorry.”

“Not at all,” Molly assures him. “I would love to spend many hours admiring you as I draw.”

“Those sound like very enjoyable hours,” agrees Caleb.

Essek nods in agreement as he takes another deep breath. It does sound wonderful. Science with Caleb and then being drawn by Molly, it could be a perfect day.

“So, braiding for Caleb and jewellery choices for us,” summarises Molly, pleased. “It’s going to be a very enjoyable wedding.”

The wedding. Essek turns to check the clock, he isn’t late, thank the Light. But he needs to get out there. His mother is going to want to know where he’s been all this time.

“I need to go and prepare to stand with Verin,” he says and then sighs, “Our mother is going to be very disappointed that I was not out in the ballroom talking to more of the right people.”

“You can tell her you’ve made a very fine match, to both the Cobalt Soul and to Nicodranas,” Caleb tells him, happiness dancing in his eyes. “And that we will be courting you with great intentions.”

Warmth fills Essek, making his heart feel aglow again. He wants to do something with it. Slowly, his gloved hand rises to cover Caleb’s at his hip. He feels Caleb’s breath catch, which makes Essek’s own warmth kindle. Molly squeezes his other hand and looks at them both with obvious pleasure. But there are no further touches. There is no rushing, they want to court him and they know his pace. Essek smiles but starts to pull away as the sounds of the ballroom beyond their room filter through at a higher volume.

He smooths his jacket and Caleb tells him with all sincerity, “You look wonderful, dear.”

Essek smiles his thanks, still feeling warm, “Thank you, you both look wonderful too.”

Molly lets go of him with clear reluctance, his tail brushes Essek’s hand, “Ah, is that okay?”

“Your tail? Yes, thank you.”

Essek smiles as Molly’s tail brushes him again. It is as warm as the rest of Molly. Essek keeps his own warmth with him as the three of them leave the room and head to the ballroom. Olara immediately greets them and compliments Essek on his make-up, as though she can tell it was repaired. When Molly and Caleb step away to dance together, both touching Essek’s arm briefly, Olara lifts an eyebrow at Essek in clear question and he can only nod.

Olara smiles widely and offers her gloved hand, “I am so glad for you.”

Essek gently rests his hand in hers, accepting her faint squeeze of fingers and appreciating how swiftly she lets go. She is a fine choice for Verin, for the family and for his happiness. Her support and encouragement feel genuine, it may be just to support her fiance but Essek is glad of it. He knows that if she had been secretly informing his mother, he would have heard about it by now.

When the announcement comes for the formalisation, Essek stands beside Verin, signing the required paper and raising a glass in congratulations as Verin and Olara hold hands, ungloved publicly for the first time, and both smiling happily and warmly. Essek feels warm when he sees Caleb and Molly standing hand in hand nearby and looking at him with similar warmth and happiness. He schools his features not to smile broadly back, his gaze travelling the crowd and nodding back at everyone who nods at him. His mother looks extremely satisfied now that the formalisation has been completed.

As everyone is called to eat, Verin lingers in order to talk to Essek, “I expect your Caleb and Molly to call here tomorrow morning, to make the courting official.”

Essek nods, his heart warming at Caleb and Molly being referred to as his, “I will ask them.”

Verin offers a hand and at Essek’s nod, places it near Essek’s wrist, “I’m proud of you, brother, and happy for you.”

“Nothing is certain yet,” Essek cannot help protesting, despite his warmth.

Verin laughs quietly, “Oh, it will be, brother.”

He nods to the doorway, to where Molly and Caleb are waiting, chatting to Beauregard who is talking with great animation, and Yasha who smiles when Essek’s gaze meets hers and then fixes her attention back onto her wife. Essek’s warmth changes slightly, his loves, his friends, some of the small group of people who have changed so much for him.

Verin squeezes his wrist and walks over to Essek’s friends, pausing to accept their congratulations including a slap on the back from Beauregard. He moves onto where Olara is in the next room, talking to a couple of her family members. Their smiles when they look at each other are so pleased and inviting, like they are sharing a happy secret. 

Essek looks at Molly and Caleb, at their loving smiles for each other and at how they, incredibly, turn those smiles to him too. He feels his own smile quietly forming. He thinks he might understand that happy secret now.