Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a kiss, that’s all it was. A brush of the lips that lasted a few seconds. So why did it haunt her? Rogue rubbed her arms as she strode through the trees. She needed quiet, or as much as she could get with the noises in her head.
“I ain’t never said this to anyone before, but Gambit loves you.”
His words echoed through her mind. Tears filled her green eyes and she swore as she rubbed them away. It was just a line. Maybe he just wanted to give her a little comfort, something to hold on to when they dragged her from the cell.
But that kiss… She touched her mouth. It shouldn’t mean so much. How could it mean anything to a man like him? She shoved her auburn hair back from her sweaty face. Her body trembled. She rested her back against a tree trunk.
In the back of her mind the whispers were building. Ghost hands grabbed at her. It wasn’t real but it felt real. She covered her ears. No. They were just shadows of the people she had absorbed. She could hold them back, she had been doing it for years. But this was more, a darkness growing in her mind that she didn’t dare look at. It was another cage, and cruel laughter.
She cursed and jerked around. Her fist pulverised the tree trunk. It didn’t help. Pain stabbed her in the chest and she gasped. A twig snapped and she froze. The Savage Land was a dangerous place, and while she might be well nigh invulernable, a Tyrannosaurus Rex might give her a little trouble. Trouble she wouldn’t mind dealing with right now.
Magneto appeared and stood still. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. Are you alright?” His voice was very gentle, more gentle then she ever remembered. A part of her wanted to reach out to him. He held out his hand and then snatched it back. “Rogue?”
“What do you want!”
“Nothing, but this part of the jungle is not safe, even for a woman of your abilities.”
“What’s it to you, old man! Ah don’t need a baby sitter.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. Flashes filled her mind. Her knees shook and she rested her palm on a tree.
“Nothing, Liebchen.” He smiled, a sweet smile. She shook her head. “I know you’ve had a difficult time but…”
“Ah’m just havin’ a little stroll, Eric.” She walked past him, her head held up. “Thank you kindly for your concern.”
“Well, we’ll be leaving soon, so I suggest you go back to your Blackbird.” His voice was all business now, the snooty, condescending tone she was familiar with.
She walked back towards the camp but she could feel his eyes burning into her back. It was only when she arrived back to the team that it struck her. She had called him Eric.

*

Gambit whistled as he shuffled his cards. He wasn’t looking for her. No, he wasn’t chasing after the Southern Belle. His hands shook a little and he swore. Wolverine snatched up one of the cards and flashed it to him. The Queen of Hearts. Of course it was.
“So, the reason you’re playing with your toys while she’s walkin’ alone is?” Wolverine arched a bushy eyebrow.
“The lady wanted space, so I be givin’ her space.” Gambit shrugged.
“Uh-huh. So much for the great ladies’ man. How the hell did you ever get laid with game like that?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar.
“I’ll remind you, that’s our teammate you’re talking about.” Storm strode over and folded her arms. Wolverine put the cigar away. “Cyclops wants you on the Blackbird, Wolverine.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Wolverine stomped away, towards the plane.
“Are you alright?” Storm asked. She pushed her white hair out of her face and sat beside him on the log. “That was quite the declaration.”
“Oh, I’m always fine, Stormy. Rogue jus’ wanted some alone time. Don’t wanna crowd her.” He continued to shuffle the cards. She reached out and touched his hand. He stopped.
“Since when do you not want to crowd her? You’ve spent the past two years following her around, aggravating her. Have you finally discovered that pulling a girl’s hair doesn’t work?” A beautiful smile crossed her dark face. “I’ve known her a long time, Remy. I know she cares about you. She’s afraid of herself, of her powers, and, I think, of how she feels about you.”
“Dat be de last t’ing I want.” He dipped his head. “I love her. I don’ t’ink I realised jus’ how much until she told me she was scared.”
“I know, brother.”
“An’ I’m afraid too. Jus’ don’ tell Wolverine.” He gave her a half-smirk. She sighed and shook her head. “She wanted some time alone. I figured I’d try givin’ her what she wants.”
“It’s not what she wants, not truly. You made a bold move, don’t retreat now.” Storm squeezed his hand and stood up. “And since when did the smooth ladies man run at the first sign of battle?”
“Now, were y’all about to start the party without me?” The sexy drawl filled his ears and rolled over his skin. He shot to his feet and whirled around. Rogue stood behind him, smiling. Her cheeks were a little red.
“Never, Chére.” He grinned.
“Glad t’ hear it.” Rogue tilted her head to one side. The fear was still there, in her pale skin and the shadows in her eyes but she wasn’t running.
“I’ll leave you two to it. Just remember, we need to be on the Blackbird within the hour.” Storm sighed and rolled her eyes. “Remy, behave yourself.”
“O’course, Stormy.” He winked at Rogue and held out his hand not expecting anything. She took it. Her fingers were shaking a little. The leather of her gloves was warm against his skin. “You enjoy your walk, Belle?”
“Nawt really.” Her accent seemed thicker than usual. She ducked her head down. Her fingers twisted with his, playing a gentle game. “Remy…”
“I love how you say ma name.” His voice was low, almost a growl. He watched her cheeks darken but she still didn’t pull away. “I love how your hand feels in mine.” He brought her hand to his mouth and kisses her fingers.
“Be serious.” She rolled her eyes but the smile was back.
“Look at me, amour.” The word tripped off his tongue with such ease. Her head shot up and she looked at him with wide eyes. He risked taking a step closer. She was trembling but didn’t move. His hand glided up her arm, stopping at her elbow. Slow, he reminded himself. “You wan’ Remy t’ be serious, den so be it. I mean’ what I said in the cage.”
“Remy, Ah… my powers…” She kept looking at him. One false move and she would run. He stroked her arm. She was shaking now.
“I don’ care.” A little closer. His other hand eased around her waist. She moved closer and let him hold her. He breathed in the scent of her hair. He closed his eyes, soaking in her warmth. The trembling in her body eased. “I love you, amour. Let me show you.”
“Ah don’t wanna hurt you.” She rested her head against his shoulder. Her hands buried themselves in his trench coat. He drew gentle circles on her back and kissed her hair.
“You won’.” He touched her chin with his covered fingers and tipped her face up until those beautiful eyes were looking straight into his. Her breath seared his mouth. “Don’ be scared, I’m not gonna do anyt’ing ‘cept hold you right now, Rogue.”
“That’s dangerous enough, sugah.” Her eyes fluttered closed. It would’ve been so easy for Remy to lean in and kiss her lush mouth.
“Hey, get a room.” Wolverine’s gruff voice cut through the air. Gambit swore but kept his arms around her. “Blackbird, now, you two. Rogue, Beast wants to talk to you.”
“Ah’ll see ya’ later.” She stepped back, her face scarlet. Gambit considered tossing a charged card at Wolverine, just enough to singe his hair.

*

“Hey, Beast.” Rogue stepped into the mobile med bay. Her blue team mate was hanging from the ceiling. “You were lookin’ for me?”
“Ah, the lovely Southern Belle.” He grinned, flashing his fangs and let go of the ceiling. He tumbled in the air and landed with a soft thud. “Just the beauty I wanted to see. Please step behind the screen there and take off your uniform.”
“A lady expects you to buy her dinner first at least, Hank.” She put her hands on her hips. “Ah’m fine, it’s just a few bruises.”
“Perhaps, but I saw you wince earlier. You’re not used to injuries.” He pointed one claw in the direction of the screen. “Change into the gown, then hop up on the table.”
“Seriously, Hank.” She scowled and rolled her eyes.
“If you’ve cracked a rib we need to know before we take off.” He took off his glasses and polished them on his white coat. “I could go and get Cyclops or the Professor.”
“Fine, just, no peeking.” She pointed a finger at him. His cheeks turned a little pink. “Sorry, Hank, Ah don’t know what’s wrong with me right now.”
“The issue with invulnerability is that you never have to deal with pain.” He sighed. “Rogue, my dear, it’s my job to make sure that it’s only a few bruises. Gorgeous George was particularly rough with you.”
“Alright, Ah’ll behave.” She strode over to the screen. He had left a long-sleeved gown draped over a chair. She snatched it up.
A stab of pain left her doubled over as she tried to wriggle out of her uniform. She winced and sat on the chair. Wow! It hadn’t hurt like this earlier. She pressed a hand to her ribs. The painkillers Jean had given her earlier were wearing off. Through clenched teeth she pulled off her clothes.
“Ah’m ready.” She ducked out from behind the screen and walked over to the trolley. Beast had put on a pair of elbow length surgical gloves.
“Alright, I’m going to examine your back first.”
She held herself rigid as his covered fingers gently probed her bruises. Several times she let out a gasp of pain. He moved around to her stomach, pressing on her skin, careful to keep her chest covered. The cold metal of the stethoscope against her skin made her shiver. She screwed her eyes shut. It would be over in a few minutes.
“Alright, my dear. As suspected, you have at least one cracked rib and some very nasty bruises. I’m going to do an x-ray just to make sure your lung isn’t about to collapse.” He stepped back. She wrapped the gown around her body. “You’ll be more comfortable in leggings and a t-shirt. I’ll get you some.”
“Thanks, Beast.” She plucked at the thin material. There was a sharp knock on the door.
“Come in,” Beast yelled. The door opened.
“Hey, Moonbeam, you okay?” Wolverine stood in the doorway, his eyes averted. She smiled and straightened up. “Sorry to interrupt, but Cyke was askin’ for an update.”
“Stop haunting’ the door, Wolvie, an’ git in here. Y’all makin’ me nervous shufflin’ around there.” She managed a small smile. “And it’s just a few bruises. Beast is bein’ over careful.”
“It’s a little more than that. And if you end up with a pneumothorax midflight it’ll be very hard to treat for me to treat you with your invulnerable skin.” Beast sighed and pushed his glasses back on his nose. “Alright, x-ray then painkillers. And I want you to stay in here for the flight so I can keep an eye on you.”
“Or you could borrow a little of my healing factor, if you want, darlin’.” Wolverine pulled off his glove and offered his hand. She shook her head.
“Ah’m not puttin’ you in a coma jus’ because Ah got a little banged up.” She lifted her chin and smiled. “Not that I don’t appreciate the thought, sugah.”
“Well, the cajun is pacing around outside.” Wolverine jabbed his thumb in the direction of the hall. “You want me to tell him to come in or go sit his ass down in his seat.”
“He can go and sit down. I’m not finished examining the lady yet.” Beast handed her a glass of water and a tiny paper cup with two capsules. “Swallow those down. Tell Cyke I’ll radio him once I’ve checked the x-ray.”
“Will do.” Wolverine grinned at Rogue. “I don’t know what you did to that cajun but I almost feel sorry for him.”
“Ah don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rogue straightened and glared at Wolverine who sauntered out of the room.

*

Magneto accepted the glass tumbler from Charles and eased back in the arm chair. He wanted to ask how she was, was she badly hurt but he didn’t have the right. He wasn’t even her friend. The cold glass helped remind him of where he was.
“I think she’s remembering, Charles.” The words came out in a low growl.
“We knew that would happen, Eric. I will look after her. But it would better if you left as soon as the plane landed.” Charles rubbed at his forehead. “She’s hurt but it’s not too serious. She has cracked two ribs and had has extensive bruising but nothing that won’t heal with a little rest.”
“Thank you for telling me.” Magneto took a sip of the water, and wished it was something stronger.
“You can’t be in her life.”
“I know that.” He tightened his hand around the tumbler. It cracked under his grip. He gasped as the broken glass cut into his skin. Charles handed him a box of tissues. “I have stayed away from her since it happened. I haven’t even acknowledged her when we’ve fought together. What else would you like me to do?”
“I know. You should go to Hank, get him to examine your hand.” Charles gestured to it. “I know you care about her.”
“We were never together, Charles. She was not much more than a traumatised child. I may be a monster but…”
“I know.” Charles held out his hands in surrender. “But it would be wrong of me to dismiss your feelings. Get your hand looked after. We’ll talk later.”
Charles was right. Magneto held the tissues to his bleeding hand as he walked towards the med bay. Rogue’s mind was very fragile, even before the incident. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, in any way. He muttered a curse under his breath.
The Med Lab door was open. He stepped in and looked around. There was no sign of Dr. Hank McCoy. Rogue was lying on a trolley near the back of the room, her eyes closed. He wanted to walk over to her and take his hand in hers but she was sleeping. He shouldn’t disturb her. Her lovely face wrinkled up in a frown.
“Eric, please.” His name tumbled out of her mouth. He stared at her lovely face. She was still asleep. Fool, he reminded himself. He could only make things worse for her. “Oh please, where are you?”
A groan escaped her lips. She shifted around on the trolley, her arms waving around. He took a step towards her and stopped. Sobs shook her slim body and she began moan. He strode over to her and took her bare hand in his uninjured one.

*

In the dark she could hear the whisper of the melody. It cut through the terror, the nightmare. She struggled against the cruel hands that pinned her down and pinched her skin. No, not again. The music grew louder. She shoved the ghosts away and ran towards it. Her eyes opened and she stared up at Magneto, his face close to hers. His naked fingers stroked her hand. Bare skin but he was still standing. She snatched her hand away.
“Magneto, what the hell are you doin’?”
“I’m sorry, Liebchen. I heard you cry out and I…” He jerked forward and hissed. A glowing card cut his cheek.
“Get the hell away from her!” Gambit fired off another card. Magneto snatched it out of the air and threw it away.
“Are you trying to hurt her? Calm yourself. I didn’t do anything to her.” Magneto moved between her and Gambit.
“Get away from her. What do you think you’re doing, an old man putting her hands on her!” Gambit ran at Magneto, his bo-staff in his hands.
“Remy, stop, please.” She forced herself to sit up and threw her legs over the side of the trolley. “He didn’t hurt me.”
“Cajun, calm down.” Wolverine grabbed hold of Gambit and pulled him away before Remy could skewer Magneto with his bo-staff. “You want to explain what you are doin’ in here, bucket head?”
“She was asleep an’ he had his hands on her. I t’ink I know what he was doing.” Gambit shoved Wolverine away.
“That true, Magneto?” Wolverine held out one hand and his claws popped out.
“Stop it, this instant. He didn’t hurt me.” Rogue shot into the air, conscious of the hem of her gown barely brushing her knees. She dropped down between them. The movement sent a dagger of pain through her ribs and she gasped. “I don’t know what he was doing, but Ah don’t think it’s what you are suggestin’, Remy.” She rested a hand on Gambit’s chest. His heart raced against her palm.
“Then what, Maggie, you wanna explain to us just what you were doing?” Wolverine stabbed the air near Magneto’s face. Eric shoved his claws away.
“I’m not explaining anything to you, little man,” Magneto growled.
“Enough! Stop this!” Charles sped into the room in his floating chair. “Gambit, Wolverine, step down. Eric, I suggest you leave the room, now.”
“What is going on?” Rogue covered her ears. The whispers were getting louder. Magneto looked over at her and started to hum the gentle song again. Why did it help? “Magneto, how are you touching me? And what in tarnation were you doing?”
“I only wanted to help.” Magneto’s old, blue eyes examined her. She shivered. Gambit put an arm around her shoulders. “I won’t make that mistake again.” He turned and left the room.
“I’m gonna…” Gambit whirled but she stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Cherie, are you alright?”
“You should be resting, not using your powers,” Professor Xavier said in a very gentle voice.
“An’ let those two tear the jet apart in an attempt to protect my honour?” She gestured at Wolverine Remy. “Not that Ah don’t appreciate it, boys, but Cyclops would not be happy if y’all wrecked the Blackbird.”
“Sit down, kid, your face is white.” Wolverine gestured to the trolley.
“Mebbe we should get Beast, make sure you’re okay.” Remy squeezed her shoulder. She shivered and pulled away. “Cherie, we jus’ wanna…”
“I’m not about t’break apart, Swamp rat.” Her voice grew louder and louder. “Professor, what’s going on? What are you not tellin’ me?”
“Rest, I will tell you more later, I promise.” The Professor turned to the two men. “Out, now. Rogue is perfectly safe. Eric would never hurt her, or touch her in the way you suggested, Gambit. Calm down, you do her no good like this.”
“I’m not leaving’ her alone.” Gambit shoved his face in close to the Professor’s. “How about you start givin’ Gambit some answers, or he might have to shove some cards into dat chair, see how high it can fly.”
“Yeah, Chuck, we need more than that.” Wolverine eased himself between Gambit and the Professor. “Don’t, cajun, I know you wanna protect her, but not like this.”
“Please.” Rogue floated into the air, rubbing at her forehead. The whispers grew louder and they hurt. Oh how they hurt. Gambit reached up to her but she stayed away. “Go away, all of you. Leave me alone.”
“I’ll stay with her. The Professor is right, Remy, you should calm down. I won’t let anything happen to her.” Storm stepped into the room, a whirl of wind moving between the men, reminding them of her power. “Go, now. I’m sure the Professor has his reasons.”
“Yeah, he always does.” Gambit stepped back and tapped his bo-staff off the floor. “I’m gonna be waiting right outside. If he comes near her again, I’ll boil him in his suit like a pot of gumbo.”

*

Five Years Ago

Rogue smoothed the dress down her body. The wine silk clung to her body, leaving her shoulders almost bare. She glanced in the mirror and nibbled on her lower lip. She looked, strange. Not like herself at all. Would he like it? Her palms moved over the material again. A knock on the door stopped her.
“Anna, are you ready?” Eric’s gentle voice flowed from the corridor. “Dinner is served. I know you’re angry with me. Would you rather eat alone?”
“No. Just give me a moment.” She rubbed at her cheeks and sucked in a breath. The heels clicked on the wooden floor as she moved to the door. She opened it and looked up at him. He was wearing a tailored dark suit and white shirt. His eyes widened and he smiled. “Will Ah do?”
“You look beautiful, Liebchen, but you are making things very hard for me.” He held out his bare hand. She took it, savouring the feel of his warm, callused skin.
“Ah could stay. Ah don’t need to go back to the team.”
“Schätzchen, please, don’t tempt me.” He tugged just a little. She followed him into the hall. He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and they walked down the grand, oak staircase. The air was scented with roses. Where did he get roses in the jungle? “I will miss you, but let us enjoy tonight.”

*

Now

Rogue gasped and opened her eyes. Storm put her book down and patted Rogue’s covered arm. “Are you alright, little sister? We’re almost home. Do you want me to get you more painkillers or water?”
“No, no, Ah just had the strangest dream.” She sat up and cradled her head in her hands. The pain sliced through her body but she forced back the moans. “Ororo, what’s happenin’ to me?”
“I don’t know, dear one. I suspect blocked memories are making themselves known. Do you want me to get the Professor?” Storm’s calm voice soothed but it wasn’t the voice Rogue wanted to hear.
“Ah’m goin’ crazy, Ah mean really crazy this time. Ah don’t know what memories are mah own, and which belong to others.” Rogue hugged herself and rocked backward and forward. “This darkness though, it’s new. And the dreams are terrible, except for the last one.”
“What was it about?”
“Ah can’t…” Rogue felt her cheeks heat up. The dream had been sweet but now she felt like a silly child. Eric was dangerous. And why was she thinking of him as Eric.
“Alright, I understand.” Storm’s tender voice rolled over her taut skin. “I will get you something to drink.”

Chapter Text

Eric was gone. Rogue allowed herself to call him that in her mind. It harmed no one. A tiny lie. She paced up and down the med lab, the hospital gown flapping around her body. At least they were back at the mansion. A knock on the door startled her. She grabbed her jacket and threw it over her shoulders.
“Come in.”
The door opened. Gambit smiled at her. “Hey, how you doin’? I was cooking some gumbo and I t’ought maybe I could tempt you with some.”
“You’re always tryin’ to tempt me.” She smiled. “Beast says to wait here until he gets back. So, maybe keep a bowl warm for me.”
“I dunno, Cherie, it be very good gumbo. You may have to prise it out of my hands.” He waggled his fingers in the air. She laughed and shook her head. “That’s better. There’s my beautiful girl.”
“Oh, Ah’m your girl now, am Ah?” She arched an eyebrow. He reached up and fixed the jacket on her shoulders.
“Well, I’m yours, so it be only fair.” His fingers glided over her shoulders and down her arms. The whispers grew louder and she stepped back. His hands dropped away. “Chérie, are you alright?”
“I dunno.” She wrapped her arms around her chest. Icy words rolled over her skin and ghost hands held her down, tugged at her clothes. A small moan escaped from her lips. Eric, she wanted Eric. Why? “Help me.”
“What can I do, amour?” The air crackled and sparks flew off his fingers.
“Hold me, Ah think that’ll help.” She was desperate cling to someone, anyone. She needed the warmth of touch, even if she couldn’t feel skin.
He opened his arms. She stepped towards him and rested her head against his shoulder. His hands settled around her, gently stroking her back. Her body was shaking, as if her bones were about to break apart. She clung to him.
“You are de mos’ beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. An’ I don’ mean how you look, tho’ you are gorgeous.” His voice was so gentle, almost hypnotic. Was he trying to use his charm power on her? Her hands clung to his shirt, as if he could stop her from drowning in voices. “It’s your voice, de way your eyes light up, your strength. An’ I know you can fight dis.”
“Ah’m scared, Ah don’t know how to fight it. Mah mind is cracking.”
“No, it’s not.” His mouth brushed against her hair, the only safe place to kiss her. “Your beautiful mind is strong. Hold on t’me, Cherie. Take whatever you need.”
“Gambit, Rogue.” Beast’s formal tones cut through the haze. She lifted her head but stayed in his arms. “Another episode?”
“Yes, Ah feel like Ah not really here.”
“You are, an’ you’re with me.” Gambit stepped back but kept hold of her hand. He bent down and kissed her palm.
“I’m afraid I can’t help with your psychic issues. I wish I could.” Beast sighed and held out his hands. “Your ribs will heal in time but I’ve spoken to Cyclops and the Professor. We’ve agreed that you step back from the team for two months.”
“Dang it!” She scowled and clenched her free hand into a tight fist. “And in the meantime, what exactly am Ah supposed to do? Ah’ll go crazy.”
“You’re not used to being injured, my dear. Ribs take time to heal and you’re not careful enough with your body in a fight.” Beast shook his head. “Yes, I know you’re invulnerable, but not completely.”
“To hell with this!” She stormed out of the room, the gown brushing against her knees. She needed something, someone. She needed Eric. Why? She didn’t know.
“Cherie, wait up. Let me help.” He ran up to her. She kept walking.
“Leave me alone, Remy, please. Ah know you want to help, but you can’t.” She couldn’t look at him. What would he think of her if he knew what was going on in her mind? If he knew that she longed for Eric’s presence, his voice.
“Let me try.”
“I don’t need you. Please, leave me alone.” She ran over to a window and yanked it open. Within seconds she was shooting through the air.

*

Three days, she had been avoiding him for three days. Gambit swore and kicked a stone out of his path. There was something deeply wrong. He knew Rogue was fragile, knew that she fought the other personas every day but this was different. He leaned against the wall and pulled out a cigarette.
He lit it and took a drag. The nicotine hit his system and he sighed. He was an addict, addicted to cigarettes and green-eyed river rats. He smiled and shook his head. Tante Mattie found it hilarious of course. He remembered her deep chuckle rolling down the phone line right into his ear when he called her.
“Well, boy, doesn’t that just serve you right. In love with a girl you can’t touch. Mebbe you’ll finally get your heart broken. Or perhaps you’ll charm her into loving you.” Her rich voice grew firm and he winced. “You treat her properly, you hear? No running around with other women. How else are you gonna convince her that you’re bein’ honest. ‘Cause with your history Ah wouldn’t blame the childe if she was wary.”
Treat her properly. He wanted to. The cigarette burnt down almost to his fingertips. He dropped it on the ground and stepped on it. She allowed him to hold her, she had leaned on him and then off she ran. He sighed and shook his head.
“Ah don’t know what t’ do, Ororo. Ah pushed him away like a used tissue an’ Ah don’t know how to make it up t’ him.” Her lovely voice was faint. He looked up towards the roof and smiled. Maybe he should hear a little more of this conversation.

*

Rogue loved the roof. So close to the night sky she felt safe. She sat crosslegged and stared up at the stars. The cool air soothed her face. She wanted to take off her gloves and feel the rough brick work but she was too afraid. Tears pricked at her eyes. She brushed them away. The voices had eased off. The Professor worked with her every day and she was starting to feel more like herself again. Her hands tightened into fists.
The darkness was still there. Every time she closed her eyes it appeared at the back of her mind. That was where the worst of the voices came from. Cruel laughter, pinching fingers, hands holding her wrists. She ran her hand through her hair. Was it real? There were so many fragments of memories floating around in her head that she couldn’t tell what belonged to her anymore. She hadn’t for a long time.
A light breeze tickled the back of her neck. “I thought I might find you here. May I join you?” Ororo asked.
“Sure, gal. But Ah’m not much fun to be around right now.” Rogue didn’t turn around. Her gloved hand patted the ground beside her. “How was the mission?”
“Boring. Everything went just right.” Ororo sighed and settled beside her. “How was the mansion? Have you killed the plant I gave you yet?”
“Nah, but it’s lookin’ a little depressed. Maybe you should give her some TLC.”
“I’m more worried about my friend right now. I think you need the TLC. Or perhaps you would prefer a certain cajun?”
“Ah doubt Gambit wants anythin’ t’ do with me right now, an’ Ah don’t blame him one little bit.” Rogue sighed and pulled at her gloves.
“Somehow, I doubt that.”
“Ah hate this! Ah can’t even go for a proper flight. If Ah do, Beast is threatening to keep me off the team for another month.” Rogue clenched her hands into fists. “When did everyone decide Ah was this fragile little flower?”
“I think it’s more that we’re so used to you being this flying wall that no one can hurt. Taking the blows for everyone.” Ororo rested a hand on Rogue’s shoulder.
“Is that all?” Rogue turned and looked at her friend. “Because, there’s something in mah mind I can’t quite reach. An’ Ah don’t think it’s from anyone Ah absorbed. There’s so much Ah just don’t remember.”
“I’m sorry, little sister. What can I do to help?”
“You can tell me the truth. Is there anything in the old mission files or…” Rogue bowed her head. “The Professor keeps sayin’ Ah’ll remember in time but it’s drivin’ me crazy.”
“I don’t know, I really don’t. But perhaps it would be better to follow the Professor’s advice. Our minds don’t appreciate being forced.” Ororo squeezed Rogue’s shoulder. “Regardless, I am here for you whenever you need to talk.”
“Thanks, ‘Ro.” Rogue shut her eyes for a second. The hungry darkness seemed to laugh at her. Tears leaked out. She rubbed them away.
“Are you ever going to put that poor boy out of his misery?” Ororo’s voice changed, taking on a slight teasing lilt. “You are not the only one who has been moping around the mansion. That was quite the declaration he made in the Savage Lands. Straight out of one of those novels you enjoy so much.”
“Ah don’t think he meant it. He can’t.”
“Why not? And don’t say it’s because of your powers. I’ve known that man a long time and I can honestly say I have never seen him so in love.” Ororo sighed and lifted up her head.
“But…” The words hovered in her mouth. I love him. Terrifying words. Words that would cut her open and leave her more vulnerable than anything else.
“I know feeling so much is frightening, and you’ve been trying to keep him safe by pushing him away. But he’s a grown man. Let him in a little.”
“Ah don’t know what t’ do, Ororo. Ah pushed him away like a used tissue an’ Ah don’t know how to make it up t’ him.” More tears spilled out. Rogue reached into the pocket of her jeans but it was empty.
“Yes, you do. Tell him how you feel. All of it. This is a dangerous world. Who knows what could happen to any of us on the next mission?” Ororo stopped and looked around. “It’s very rude to eavesdrop, Remy.”
“Don’t know what you mean, Stormy.” His rich, southern accent made Rogue shiver. He strolled over to them and leaned against the wall. “Now, what are de two mos’ beautiful women in the X-Men doin’ up here on a Saturday night?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” Ororo stood up and winked at Rogue. “I’m going to go to bed. I’ll look at the poor plant tomorrow, Rogue.”
“Leavin’ so soon?” Gambit took a cigarette out of his pocket. Ororo sighed and plucked it out of his fingers. She dropped it and ground it under her heel. “Hey!”
“Disgusting habit. Good night, Gambit.” She smiled at Rogue.
“Dat woman! So bossy.” Remy tugged on his duster and hunkered down in front of her. His covered fingers touched her tears. She wanted to lean into his touch but was too conscious of his bare skin so close to hers.
“She’s right, it’s a horrible habit.”
“Gives me somethin’ t’ do with my hands, and my mouth, since you won’ take pity on me.” He brought his wet fingers to his lips and kissed them. Kissing her tears. She swallowed. Damn that man! Why did he have to be so… so much. “You okay? I’ve missed you, Chére.”
“Ah hate feelin’ helpless. Ah’m sorry, Remy. Ah know you wanted t’ help.”
“But it got a little too much.”
Ah just… Mah feelin’s scare the hell outta me.” She held out her hand. He took it in both of his and brought it to his lips. She could feel the warmth of his mouth through the gloves. For a second she allowed herself to think about what it would be like to feel him, skin-to-skin. Even something as simple as holding hands with no barrier between them. She shook her head. It wouldn’t… it could’t happen. “Ah wouldn’t blame ya if ya were fed of up me.”
“Now, don’ talk like dat, mon amour.” He shuffled around until he was sitting beside her. “Gambit knows he can come ovah a little too strong. An’ you don’ need me or anyone else naggin’ you. But don’ freeze me out, please.”
“What am Ah gonna do?” She drew her knees to her chest. “Ya drive me so crazy, sugah. Half the time Ah don’t know if Ah should toss you inta the lake to cool down or…”
“Or kiss me?” He smirked and her cheeks reddened a little. “Tha’s okay, Rogue. Gambit knows you only wanna throw him in the lake so you can see him inna wet shirt.”
“Oh for…” She rolled her eyes but a smile tugged at her lips. “Do you evah stop?”
“I c’n do dis all day.” He rested his head on her shoulder. “Come out on a date wit’ me. A proper one without half de team taggin’ along dis time. An’ no interruptions. We leave the coms at home.”
“What would you suggest?”
“Dinner and dancin’.”
“Ah’m a terrible dancer.” She smiled and looked up at the stars.
“You jus’ didn’t have the right teacher, is all. You let Remy teach you, I’ll be very gentle.” His voice dropped to a husky whisper. She shivered and turned her head until there was only a tiny slip of air between their lips. “I’ll take care of you real good, if you let me.”
“The same way you offered t’ teach me t’ drive?” There it was, that pull towards him. The pull that would end up with him in a coma, and her with one more voice rolling around in her head. “Some lessons are way too dangerous, sugah.”
“But dey be de most fun. An’ as I said, mon amour, there’s lots of t’ings I could teach you.” He jumped to his feet. “How ‘bout we start wit’ de waltz.” He held out his hand.
“Seriously?” She arched an eyebrow.
“Absolutely. I would do jus’ ‘bout anythin’ to get you in my arms.” The smirk turned into a sweet smile. “Dance with me, Chére. De night is jus’ perfect.”
“Alright, one dance.” She took his hand and let him pull her up. His arm settled around her waist and he pulled her a little too close. “But what are we gonna do about music?”
“Well, I could sing in your ear.” His breath ticked her cheek.
“Or you could jus’ shut up and show me some of your moves, swamp rat.” She rested one hand on his shoulder. “Lord knows, you talk about them enough.”
“Oh, I’m happy t’ show you any moves you wan’.”

Chapter Text

Five Years Ago

Roses scented the air. Rogue opened her eyes and stared up at the high ceiling. She looked down at her arms. Bruises dotted her skin. A white and blue hospital gown covered her body. The room smelt of disinfectant but it looked like a hotel room. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and her eyes widened.
More bruises on her legs. She reached down and touched her skin. A knock on the door startled her. She yanked at the hem of the gown. Where was Wolverine? Was she still in prison? She stood up and grabbed hold of the bed. Her body was shaking.
“Rogue, may I come in?” That gentle familiar voice. Her rescuer. “I’m concerned about you, Liebchen. I just want to know that you’re alright. Would you prefer that I asked Dr. Reyes to check on you? Or Ms. Frost?”
“You can come in.” She pressed her back against the wall and hugged her waist. Magneto wouldn’t hurt her. At least, she didn’t think so. The door opened.
“You should be resting.” He stood in the doorway, his eyes averted.
“Ah can’t. The dreams… Where am Ah?”
“The Savage Lands. You are safe here, I promise. I informed the X-Men that you are here but Professor Xavier is not available.” He leaned against the door frame. “Ms. Frost brought you back from your psychic coma.”
“Ah remember a voice, singing.” She took a step forward. Her legs shook. “Why did you save me, Magneto?”
“Because… Because you needed help. I liberated the others but you were badly hurt. I didn’t know what else to do.” He stepped into the room. “I thought you might like something to eat.”
“Sure.” She took another step, then another. Her knees buckled and she fell forward. He rushed to her and caught her arms. “Sorry, Ah’m not usually such a damsel in distress.”
“Understandable given the circumstances.” He helped her to her feet, holding on to her arms. She didn’t flinch away. “Easy, liebchen. Dr. Reyes said she will check on you later.”
“What is happening to me?” Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Ah don’t understand. Ah know Ah was—Ah was attacked but everything is just so strange and cloudy.”
“You took a lot of psychic damage.” He helped her over to the bed. She sat on the edge. “I’ll get you something to eat.”
“Please, don’t go.” The words surprised her. She blinked and shook her head. All she knew was that he was the only thing she could hold on to.
“Alright, but you should get back into bed, please.” He stepped back and looked away as she clambered back into the bed. He sat in the chair beside her and took off his glove. She stared at his bare skin. “You can’t hurt me, Rogue. Not like that, I promise. My magnetic shields protect me.”
“Oh!” She clung to her blankets. He smiled and pulled his hand away.
“I’m sorry, Liebchen. You held my hand before, when the dreams were bad. I thought it would help ground you.” He rested his hands on his knees. “I won’t touch you, I promise. You are safe here.”
“Ah know.” She sucked in a breath. His voice, she had held onto it when she was tumbling in the darkness. “You sang to me.”
“Yes, it seemed to help calm you. I’m not much of a singer but…” He shrugged. “Would you like me to sing now? Or would you rather something else?”
“Ah don’t know.” She looked down at the blankets.
“Do you play chess?”
“No, Ah never learnt.” She shrugged her slim shoulders. “Not a lot of time for things like that.”
“Would you like me to teach you? It will give you something else to think about.” He stood up and walked over to the chest of drawers.
“Ah doubt Ah’d be any good, but Ah’d like that, Magneto.”
“Could you call me Erik?” He opened the top drawer and pulled out a slim black box. He strode back over to her and pulled up a table.
“Erik.” She held out her hand. He took it and shook it. “Pleased ta meetcha, Erik. Ah’m Rogue.”

*

Now

Rogue sat up and rubbed at her eyes. Jean Grey leaned back in her chair, her hands folded on her lap. What was happening? Was the memory real? She hugged her knees to her chest and pressed her face to her jeans.
“Are you alright?” Jean asked.
“Ah don’t understand. Where is all this coming from? Until recently Ah woulda said Ah maybe exchanged three words with Magneto in mah life. And when was Ah in the Savage Lands?” Rogue lifted her head and looked at Jean. “Ah feel like Ah’m going crazy.”
“I don’t know. The memories are solid and rooted but broken into pieces. I’ll talk to the Professor. You should go and rest.” Jean stood up and smiled. “I know it’s painful, Rogue, but you’re doing really well, I promise. Your shields are solid.”
“It doesn’t feel that way.” She swung her legs over the side and sat on the edge of the couch. “Why do Ah feel so in pieces?”
“I wish I could help you more but if you ever want to just talk I’m happy to listen.” Jean paused and glanced towards the door. Her hands clenched and unclenched.
“Jean, what are you not tellin’ me?” Rogue slid off the couch and stood.
“Everything is very vague. The Professor…”
“The Professor won’t tell me nothin’.” Rogue took a step towards her. Jean didn’t move, just looked at her calmly.
The door opened. Professor Xavier floated into the room in his chair. “I told her not to go into detail with you, Rogue. I promise, it’s for your own good.”
“Ah don’ like others decidin’ for me, Professor.” She kept her voice low and unusually calm. “You suppressed all kinda memories in mah head. Mah memories.”
“For your protection.” The Professor moved over to her. “When you came here you were broken. If I hadn’t put up the walls we would’ve lost you. Rogue, please, trust me.”
“I’m not keeping anything from you, Rogue, I promise. I don’t know where these memories come from, but I do think they are yours.” Jean touched Rogue’s arm. Rogue flinched.
“Ah’m not that girl anymore. Please, Ah need ta know what is going on with me.” Rogue stepped towards Jean. “Please, Ah’m not made of glass.”
“This is for your own good, I promise.” The Professor glanced at Jean. “Jean, perhaps you should leave.”
“Ah’m sick of this. There is something wrong with me, deeply wrong and Ah need your help to fix it.” Rogue rubbed her arms. Her voice broke and for a second she thought she might cry. “Please, what is going on?”
“You need to remember yourself naturally. If you push yourself you will cause further damage to your psyche.” Professor Xavier held up his hands. “You’ve trusted me before. I’m just trying to protect you.”
“Yes, well, back then Ah thought you were bein’ straight with me. This session is over.” Rogue walked past him to the door.
“Rogue, I have to go away for a few weeks. Jean will help you with your shields.” Professor Xavier sighed. “I understand that you are impatient but please, for your own sake, work with us.”
“Ah’ll think about it.”

*

Rogue tightened her arms around Gambit’s waist as the bike flew around the corner. She tried not to think about the feel of his stomach muscles under her hands. At the start of the night he had given her a gift. Black silken gloves, the material so thin it almost felt as if it wasn’t there. Almost. He had his own pair on. It made dancing, holding hands an intimate experience, one that made her head spin. Not that she would tell him that.
She chuckled. He had taken that turn far too fast on purpose, she was sure of it. Anything to make her hold on to him. Show off. It had been a wonderful night and she had almost relaxed, almost.
The gates of the Institute came into sight. She stiffened. Gambit touched her hand, squeezing her fingers. He hadn’t asked her any questions, other than to check how she was doing. Instead, he had told her stories of the Thieves Guild over excellent gumbo. And now it was over. She looked up at the mansion. Her home. Her safe place. It was starting to feel like a prison.
Gambit brought the bike to a stop and hopped off. “Home sweet home an’ your virtue still intact. I told you I was a gentleman.” He held out his hand.
“Yeah, you told me. Doesn’t mean Ah’m evah gonna believe you.” She took his hand and slipped off the bike. He kissed her fingers. She swallowed back a gasp. “Thank you, Remy.”
“Cept I’m not sure you really enjoyed yourself.” He kept hold of her hand in both of his. “Tough day?”
“The Professor is bein’ even more evasive than usual.” She swallowed and looked away. Her skin felt hot. Gambit ran a thumb across her palm. “Ah did enjoy mahself, Ah’m sorry Ah was so distant.”
“Well, you’ll just have to come out with me again, then. Make it up to me.” He grinned. “Now, may I walk you to your door?”
“As if Ah could stop you.” She stepped closer to him. His arm went around her waist. “Ah wish—” She stopped and shook her head.
“Mon amour, don’, please. I’m happy just ta be wit’ you, I promise.” He drew her closer. She let him. The heat of his body soaked into her skin. “I was thinkin’ of a few ways round your powers.”
“Remy!” She pulled away from him. “No, it’s too dangerous. I shouldn’t even be lettin’ you hold me. It’s time for me to go t’ bed. Alone.”
“Just give me a moment, please.” He took her hand again and ran his finger over her palm. “Give me a chance to show you what I mean.”
“Ah don’t think Ah can risk it. I want to, but if anythin’ happened to you Ah would nevah forgive myself.” She closed her eyes. He cupped her cheek. She leaned into his touch. “You tempt me far too much, Cajun.”
“Can you trust me, just for a few minutes?” He moved closer. “I’m not gonna do anythin’ more than kiss you.”
“You can’t kiss me.” The same old argument, the same old dance. She turned her head and kissed his fingers. That was as close as they could get.
“Sure, I can, jus’ not the traditional way.” He reached into his pocket and took out a folded piece of flimsy material. She looked at it and back at him. “May I try?”
“If you end up in a coma, Ah’m gonna dump your unconscious ass in the lake. One minute, swamp rat. And no funny business.”
“One minute.” He unfolded the thin, black material. “An’ I can wait for de funny business until you ask me real nice.”
“Seriously? You’re not helpin’ your case.”
“Close your eyes an’ trust me, mon amour.”
She was being an idiot, she knew that. He was going to end up collapsed on the ground and she would be blowing things up for the rest of the night. He stroked her jaw. Her eyes fluttered closed and she waited.
“You'll always be safe wit’ me, douce.” Something soft touched her face. She wanted to run, to fly away. And she wanted to stand still and feel his mouth on hers. Her body shook as she waited. His lips brushed against her cheek. Her eyes flew open, staring at him through the gauzy material.
“You are crazy,” she whispered.
“Absolument.” His words rolled over her skin. He chuckled and kissed her jaw. It wasn’t the same as the Savage Lands but it was so close she could pretend it was. His mouth moved to the tip of her nose. “Told you.”
To hell with it. Rogue moved her face until her lips touched his, only a wisp of silk between them. He laughed against her mouth and kissed her slowly. Her knees buckled just a little. She pulled away, breathless.
“Goodnight, mon amour. Dream of me.”
“Not a chance, cajun.” She brushed her lips against his one more time and pulled off the material. She held it out to him. He folded her fingers over it.
“Keep it, mon trésor. I know I’ll be dreamin’ of you.”
He winked at her and sauntered over to his bike. She sighed and turned away. Her fingers drifted to her mouth. Crazy man. A smile crept across her lips. And she was even crazier for letting him close. But maybe, just maybe, she could let him closer still. Her hand tightened around the silk as she walked into the mansion.

Chapter Text

Five Years Ago

She could feel Erik’s presence. It was as if they were tethered together by an invisible cord. When he wasn’t in the room she felt restless, angry and the voices in her head screamed at her. But when he was close, when he held her hand her mind would go quiet. It was bliss. Her head shot up and she smiled. He had returned.
“What did you do!” Erik sounded so angry.
“Get your hands off of me, Magnus.” Emma’s chilly tones made Rogue shiver. The arrogant telepathic may have saved her life, but Rogue would prefer to stay away from the snide woman.
“What did you do!”
Rogue slipped out of bed and padded across the cool tiled floor. At least her legs were stronger now. She cracked the door just a little and peeped out. Erik had one hand around Emma’s throat, pinning her to the wall. The woman didn’t look frightened, though. If anything she looked bored.
“The girl’s mind had fractured under the strain. The Carol Danvers persona had taken over. It was the only way to bring her back.” Emma raised her head and looked straight at Rogue. “Perhaps Professor Xavier could have found a different way, but I doubt it.”
“She is a child.”
“No, she’s not.” Emma wrapped her hand around Erik’s wrist. “Let go of me, please. If you kill me I can’t help her.”
“Fix it, Ms. Frost, or I will rip your pretty head off.” He dropped his hand.
“You’re welcome to try.” She straightened her white corset and smiled. “Well, look who’s out of bed? How are you, dear?”
“Rogue?” Erik spun around.
“What is happening? What did you do to me?” Rogue asked, looking at Emma. She shuffled closer to Erik. Being near him calmed her racing mind. He held out his hand. She took it. The contact eased the voices and she could breathe.
“I tethered you psychically to Magneto. It was the only way to pull you back. Unfortunately, I can’t now break it without sending you back into a coma.” Emma patted her blonde hair.
“Ah don’t know what that means?” Rogue stepped forward.
“My mind pulled you back but now we’re tied together. I’m sorry, liebchen. I didn’t want this.” He sighed and squeezed her fingers. She stared at their hands entwined. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, almost as if the warmth was a drug calling to her. “What you think you feel for me, it’s not real.”
“Oh, it’s very real. And if you really wanted to help the girl you will take her to your bed and be done with it.” Emma dusted her hands together. “She needs skin-to-skin contact, sustained physical content with you to keep the link strong. If it breaks I don’t think I can bring you back again. Sex would cement it in place.”
“That is not happening,” Erik growled.
“Then we run the risk of another collapse.” Emma looked at Rogue. There was no smile on her face now. Her voice was calm, almost gentle. “It’s not about romance, dear. Sex forms a bond, even between ordinary humans. It would keep you alive.”
“What in tarnation!” Rogue marched over to Emma, her bare hand reaching for the telepath. “Fix me, you witch.”
“I did. Perhaps you would prefer to be back in a coma.” Emma flinched back from Rogue’s hand. “I wouldn’t advise that, dear. You have too many shadows in your mind already, and adding rogue telepathy to the mix would break you.”
“Get out!” Erik stabbed his finger towards the blonde woman.
“I’m trying to help you, you silly child.” Emma sighed. “And this white knight act is very nice, Erik, but we both know it’s just a facade. Your colour is red, not white.”
“Hey, Ah’m standin’ right here.” Rogue planted her hands on her hips and glared at Emma. “Thank ya kindly for your help, Ms. Frost, but who Ah sleep with is none of your business.”
“It’s just a suggestion, dear girl. One you should consider if you want to keep your sanity” Emma looked over at Erik. “Always a pleasure, Magneto. Oh, one more thing, Rogue needs you close to her for the next forty-eight hours at least. Constant physical contact if this is going to work.”

*

Rogue sat on the bed and hugged her legs to her chest. The voices were getting louder. She rested her damp cheek against her knees. She could feel Erik’s presence behind the door. He wouldn’t even look at her since the conversation with Emma. The tug was stronger. She almost got off the bed to go and find him. To demand that he stay with her. A loud knock snapped her out of her thoughts.
“Rogue, may I come in?” Erik sounded uncertain, almost frightened. The great Magneto afraid of her.
“Come on in.” She looked up and watched him walk over to her. With each step the ache in her chest eased.
“I am sorry, so sorry, Schätzchen. If I had known I would never have allowed her…” He sighed and sat down on the chair close to the bed. “I tried to contact Professor Xavier but there was no answer.”
“Ah can feel it, the bond. When you’re not near me Ah feel empty, scared.” She looked down on at the bedspread. How often had she imagined her first time, gentle, awkward, romantic, a thousand different scenarios. But not this, and not what happened in the cell. “Ah don’t want this, but Ah do as well. Ah don’t understand but Ah’m scared if you leave me the darkness will swallow me up.”
“I’m not going to do anything, I promise. Even if you ask me, liebchen, I won’t touch you. Not that way. Everything you are feeling is not real, it’s manufactured by the bond. I wish I knew what to do to free you.” He sighed and ran a hand through his white hair. A bare hand. She found herself following the movement, her eyes hungry. His eyes widened and he froze. Then he smiled. “But I think we have no choice. I will sleep in here in a chair beside your bed and we can hold hands. Perhaps that will be enough. Would that be alright, Rogue?”
“Yes, Ah would like that.”
“Very well.” He stood and moved the chair until it was touching the bed. Rogue watched as he rolled up his sleeve and rested his bare arm on the bed. She smiled and reached for him.

*

Now

Rogue woke up with a gasp and shot up in the air. Her legs tangled up in the blankets and she cursed as she pulled it off. What was happening? She floated in the air, desperate to anchor herself in real time. At night sleep was elusive so she had gone for a rest after her session with Jean.
Was it real? Did she sleep with Erik? There was something deep inside her, pulling her towards him. But if the psychic bond was real, why had she never felt it before? Granted, she spent very little time with Magneto but surely she should have noticed something.
And these memories. They felt more and more real but could she trust them? She curled up in the air, hugging her knees to her chest. Her dreams swung between her time with Erik and the hungry darkness. Threaded through it all was that simple, gentle melody.
A knock on the door shook her out of her thoughts. She froze still. “Chérie, did you forget?” His voice was warm, tender.
“Just a second, sugar.” She floated over and grabbed a dressing gown. She threw it on and tied it in place. “Come on in.”
The door opened and he sauntered in, his cocky grin in place. “Well now, are we havin’ a pyjama party?”
“Ah went for a rest and Ah guess Ah slept longer than Ah intended.” She tugged on her robe, conscious of her bare legs and lack of gloves. Remy leaned against the wall, his eyes following the motion.
“An’ you forgot about our date?”
“Oh, lawds!” She covered her mouth. “Remy, Ah’m sorry. Ah had a tough session with Jean and then, well, Ah’m not sure what happened.”
“I know it’s tough, mon amour. How about I make us somet’ing to eat and we have a picnic. You can even stay in that very nice sleep shirt if you want. I certainly won’ complain.” His smile vanished. “Are you alright?”
“No. And yes. Ah’ll, survive.” She forced herself to smile at him. “A movie night with food would be very nice.”
“Anyt’ing in particular?”
“Surprise me.” Her cheeks heated up and she dropped her eyes.
He chuckled. “Now, dat is far too easy, but I promised Stormy I would be a gentleman. Or at least try.” He walked over to the bed and straightened the covers. Then he sat down and patted the mattress beside him. “C’mere, mon amour. I’ve missed you.”
“Are you gonna behave yourself?” Her blush deepened. Was her neck bright red? She sucked in a breath. She had promised herself she was going to stop pushing him away for no reason.
“Prob’ly not, if I be honest.” He laughed and held out his hand.
“Give me a minute.” She walked over to her dressing table and dug around in the first drawer. There were the special gloves. She pulled them on and wriggled her fingers. “Be careful.” The words tumbled out before she could stop them.
“O’ course, chérie.”
She walked over and sat beside him, with only a sliver of bed between them. She reached out and took his hand. It wasn’t the same as Erik, but it felt good. No, she wasn’t going to think about that. His thumb brushed across her palm.
“You look so tense. Anyt’ing in particular happen, or is it jus’ the usual.” He reached out and wound one finger around her hair.
“More fragments that make no darn sense. And so much that are just there on the edge. Ah’m so afraid.” She rested her head on his shoulder.
“Well, maybe I can help, jus’ a little. Turn around mon amour.” He kissed her hair.
“Why?”
“‘Cause you be about to have a heart attack you’re so tense. I’m jus’ gonna massage your shoulders, if dat be okay. Try an’ help you relax a little.” His hand traced a circle on her back. “Only if you wan’, o’ course.”
“You just wanna get your hands on me.” She smiled. What else could she do? “Alright, but keep your hands on my shoulders or Ah’ll send you flyin’ through the window.”
“You wound me, ma belle. Now be a good girl and turn around.”
“Hey!” She poked him in his chest.
“Je suis désolé. Ma reine, let me worship you.” His low, gravely voice made her shiver. Nothing like the mocking fragments sniping at her. “I jus’ wanna help you, Rogue, tha’s all. Well, mebbe not all, but I’ll content myself with your lovely shoulders.”
“Silly boy.” She turned around and lifted her hair over her shoulder. The dark voices were there, nipping at her mind but no, she wouldn’t let it poison the moment. His fingers brushed against the back of her neck. She sighed. “Dang it, LeBeau, what is it you’re doin’ t’ me?”
“Black magic.”
His fingers dug into her shoulders, manipulating the muscles. He hummed a pretty tune as his hands moved. She felt the tension shift and flow out of her body. Her eyes drifted closed and a small noise escaped from her mouth. Tears burned her eyes.
“Lean back agains’ me, mon trésor.”
“Remy?” She fell back against him and curled her legs up on the bed. He ran his hands up and down her arms.
“Don’ cry, mon amour, s’il te plaît. You be breakin’ my heart.” His hands moved around her waist and rocked her. “What can I do?”
“Jus’ keep holdin’ me. Ah feel like you’re keepin’ me sane.” She smiled and reached behind her to touch his cheek. “Don’t let it go t’ your head.”
“Never.” He sighed and tightened his grip. “Well, at leas’ not until we need t’ eat.”

Chapter Text

Five Years Ago

“What on earth are you wearing, liebchen?” Eric’s voice was sharp. Rogue turned around and flushed. He was looking at her as if— As if she was beautiful. His eyes dropped away and he smiled, the softness returning to his face.
“Ms. Emma brought me some new clothes.” Her hands smoothed down the denim shorts. Alright, perhaps it was a little much but the yellow bikini top wasn’t that different to what the others were wearing. It felt good to let her skin breathe in the warm air.
“Why am I not surprised?” He rolled his eyes but he smiled and held out his hand. She took it, a little nervous. The novelty of touching bare skin had not disappeared yet. “Forgive me, you look lovely, Rogue. What would you like to do today?”
“Would you show me the library? And tell me more about the society you want to build.” Her eyes widened and she grinned. “Could Ah really fit in there?”
“Why not?” He tugged on her hand and they started walking down the wide corridor. “I think you could be a leader in that society. A beautiful, empathic woman who knows exactly how others feel from just one touch.”
“Ah’m not a leader.” Her eyes darted away. “Ah can barely control myself.”
“You’re powerful, but it’s a power that’s tempered with great kindness and gentleness.” He squeezed her fingers. “You are a very strong, capable woman. In a few years you’ll grow into yourself.”

*

Now

Remy whistled as he prepared the chicken. The smell wafted through the kitchen. He felt happy, an unusual feeling for him. Rogue was letting him get close, both physically and emotionally, and somehow he hadn’t messed it up yet. He sliced up the roll and spread on butter. A weight was gone from his shoulders.
“Well, something smells good. I suppose it’s too much to hope that it might be dinner.” Beast’s voice came from behind him. Remy turned around and grinned. “You look far too happy, my friend. Could a certain southern belle be responsible for this cheerful demeanour?”
“A gentleman never tells, Monsieur McCoy.” Remy turned back to the chicken. He didn’t want to risk serving burnt food. “An’ dis is all for the lovely Rogue. Although, I’ll leave any leftovers in de fridge.”
“Many thanks, my friend, but there is something rather urgent I need to talk to you about.” A chair scrapped against the tiles as Beast settled himself down. “I had a phone call from an old Avenger acquaintance. It seems Tony Stark is missing a rather valuable piece of tech from his lab. A Sh’iar mining suit to be precise.”
“Dat be rather careless of him.”
“Indeed. Of course, if a rather foolish friend of mine was planning on using said suit to circumvent a lady’s powers, then I would advise him to be very careful.” Beast drummed his claws on the table. Remy just looked at him, his cocky grin in place.
“Don’ know anyt’ing abo’t some fancy suit, but I’ll be sure to keep an eye out.” Remy turned off the pot. The chicken was ready. All he needed was the lady is question. “An’ if dere be anyt’ing else, mon ami, tell me ‘cause I don’ want to leave mon chérie waiting.”
“Remy, don’t be an idiot. The suit is an unknown quantity and Rogue’s powers are not to be trifled with.” Beast sighed and pressed his glasses tighter onto his nose. “At least let me examine it, make sure it won’t malfunction at an inopportune moment.”
“If I find de suit, I will drop it off at your lab.” Remy met Beast’s eyes and smiled. “As long as no Avengers find out about it.”
“Of course not.” Beast jumped to his feet. “After all, this is all hypotheticals. Have a good night, my friend.” A blue paw patted Remy on the shoulder.
“T’anks, Hank. I appreciate it.”
“Just trying to save my friends from their own foolishness.”

*

Rogue wrapped the towel tight around her body. Her skin felt alive, it seemed to hum. She shook her head. No, she needed to be careful, oh so careful. She trusted Remy. The thought caught her by surprise. The man was a playboy snake and yet she did. But she wasn’t sure she could trust herself.

The dark voice echoed through her mind, threatening to draw her in. It wasn’t Remy, not really. It was just a dark fragment left behind from the time he stole a kiss while she slept. Warped and angry and being trapped in her mind. She ignored it, as she always did. Or tried to. The barriers were paper-thin.

The words rolled through her mind and she let out a hiss.

“Go to hell,” she roared.

A dark chuckle echoed in her mind.

“Ah said, shut up.” Her hand curled into a fist and she punched the mirror. It shattered into tiny fragments. At least she hadn’t punched a hole through the wall this time. “Ah don’t want you, you pervert.”

The voice changed, taking on a clipped, midwestern accent. Carol Danvers. What other ghosts would appear tonight?
Their laughter mocked her. She screwed her eyes shut and tried to imagine building a wall, one brick at a time. It didn’t help but at least they had stopped talking. She wouldn’t let them spoil tonight. She pressed her forehead against the cool tiles. She should ask Jean to help her block him off but he was right. She wanted his seductive voice in her mind. It was the closest she could get to Remy.
A knock on the door startled her. “Food is ready, mon amour.” The real Remy. Part of her was tempted to open the door to him and just drop her towel. A giggle escaped and she clamped a hand over her mouth. “You be okay, chérie.”
“Ah’m fine, sugah. Ah’ll be there in a minute.”

*

Remy brought her gloved hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. The smooth, supple material was warm against his touch. He put a hand around her waist. She leaned into him just a little.
“You look beautiful, mon amour.” He kissed her hair. Her cheeks reddened. He wondered how far that blush went down. He grinned. Well, he wasn’t going to find out tonight. “C’mon, I’ve got somet’ing special planned, since we’re not goin’ out.”
He led her into one of the small sitting rooms. Around the walls he had strung up little white lights and in the centre he had arranged a collection of pillows and blankets, just perfect for snuggling up together.
“What exactly do you have planned, cajun?” Rogue arched an eyebrow but she was smiling.
“Don’ know what you mean, petite. It’s jus’ dinner an’ a movie. You wanna go and pick which one whil’ I get de food.”
“How about a horror movie? The gorier the better.”
“As long as I can cuddle up to you and hide my face in your shoulder at de scary bits, I don’ care.” His hand tightened around her just a little. “I’ll be back in a minute. You go ahead.”
He sauntered over to the side where he had arranged the food in covered dishes. She picked something and put it in the vcr. Within a few seconds a cheerful soundtrack filled the room. She sat down among the pillows and looked up at him with a grin.
“Here, hope dis is okay.” He passed her a plate. All of a sudden he felt his mouth go dry. Her steady green eyes regarded him.
“Sit down, Remy. You’re more nervous then a long-tailed cat in a room full o’ rocking chairs.” Her hand brushed against his. “What’s wrong?”
“I guess I’m struck down by de beauty of your eyes.”
“Oh for—” She rolled her eyes and grinned. He grabbed his own plate and settled down beside him. For a second she rested her head on his shoulder. “Ah thought Ah was the nervous one.”
“I jus’ want tonight t’ be perfect. Or as close to it as we can get, mon tresór.” He kissed her hair again and pulled the cover off his food. “So, any jump scares in dis movie.”
“Ah don’ think so but Ah guess we’ll soon find out.”

*

The movie wasn’t particularly interesting. Boy meets girl, boy behaves like a jackass, then tries to win girl back. Rogue seemed to enjoy it though. Her shoulders were relaxed and her laughter made him grin. He could sit like this all night, just watching her face. Then, it happened. The film became decidedly steamy. Rogue’s face turned bright pink. He took the plate from her lap and laid it on the floor.
“Do you want me t’ switch it off?” He asked. The room seemed to hum with tension. She leaned into him.
“No, it’s okay. Ah just feel so foolish, gettin’ flustered over something so small.’
“I’m feelin’ pretty flustered myself right now, chérie.” His mouth was close to her ear and he felt her shiver. She reached into her pocket and took out the thin material. Her hands stopped. “You don’ gotta do anyt’ing you don’ want. Remy is happy jus’ sittin’ here wit’ you.”
“Ah want to. Ah jus’ don’t wanna hurt you.”
“I’m a big boy, amour.” He took the material from her and shook it out. “T’me it be worth the risk, but you jus’ gotta tell me what you want.”
“You, Ah want you.” She looked down at the blankets.
“Den, how ‘bout you put us both out of our misery an’ kiss me.” He held very still. She shifted until she was on her knees beside him. He held up the material between them. She kissed him, harder than before. He pulled her up close.
“Touch me, Remy, please.” She kissed him again, almost bruising his lips.
“Are you sure?” He skimmed a hand over her cheek. The thin material of the gloves was almost like touching her bare skin. Almost.
“Yes, Ah’m sure.” There was a certainty in her voice he hadn’t heard before. He leaned back and looked at her, his eyes searching hers. “Ah’m a grown woman.”
“Yes, you are. Do you wanna go t’ your room?”
“C’n we stay here. Ah think if Ah give myself a minute Ah’ll talk mahself outta this.” She slid a hand up and down his arm. Her pupils were fully dilated and he could smell her flowery perfume. Or maybe the smell was just her.
“Then mebbe we should—”
“Please, Remy.”
“Okay, jus’ stop me any time you want.”
He skimmed his hands over her shoulders and down her arms. She shifted against him and sighed. Something was different about her. He had never seen her so relaxed this close to him. He nuzzled her neck through the material.
“Remy, please.” Her voice was a breathy moan.
“Easy, amour, I got you. Le’s jus’ take dis slow. Trust me, dat be better.”
They lay down on the floor, her half-closed eyes looking up at him. The pull of desire was almost too much for him but he forced himself to move slowly, watching her for any signs of uncertainty. She moved against him, soft moans escaping from her mouth. His hand stopped at the waistband of her jeans.
“You still wit’ me, amour? Is dis okay?” He waited.
“Please, touch me.” Her fingers wrapped around his wrist, tugging his hand lower.
His hand slipped under the waistband. Her eyes widened and she moved against him. Slow, he reminded himself. His fingers explored her, watching the arousal on her face. This was heaven, it had to be. Then something changed and her body went rigid. He pulled away. The silk fell crumpled to the floor. Her face twisted in terror and she scurried away from him.
“Rogue, mon tresór, what’s wrong? Did I frighten you?” He held out his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you doing?” Rogue pulled away from him and shot into the air. “Keep away from me. I told you—” Her voice trailed off and it was as if she was somewhere else.
“Talk to me, Rogue. What jus’ happened?” He reached for her but she jerked away.
“Keep your hands to yourself, you filthy swamp rat.” Her voice grew higher and higher. “You evah try that again an’ Ah’ll rip them off.”
“Rogue, you asked me to touch you.”
“No, Ah didn’t. Stay the hell away from me!” She shot through the window, the glass shattering. He ran over and watched her fly into the night. What had just happened?

*

The cold night air shook Rogue back to reality. She hung in the air, trying to fight back the sobs. What just happened in there? They had been watching a movie and then nothing. Everything had gone dark. When she came back he had been touching her there. She almost let him continue.

Gambit’s mocking voice echoed through her.

“What did you do to me?” She screamed into the night.

The voice wasn’t Remy, not her Remy. It was just a ghost, a fragment angry and twisted. She drew her knees to her chest and hid her face. Sobs shook her. On the edge of her mind she could hear the voices yelling at her.
“Slut, whore, just hold still and stop fighting.”
She shook her head. No, no, it wasn’t real. It wasn’t. She dropped from the sky into the lake. She gasped as the icy water soaked into her clothes. At least it chased the demons away and for just a moment she was herself. What was she going to do now?

*

Remy stared at the broken window. The crumbled silk laid on the floor among the pillows. He kicked them out of the way. What had just happened? Was she alright? His communicator blinked to life. He considered ignoring it but then pressed the button.
“Gambit here.”
“Gambit, could you come down to the war room? We need you for a mission.” Cyclop’s clipped tones echoed through the room. Remy screwed his eyes shut and sighed.
“Right now?”
“Sorry to interrupt your plans, Gambit, but yes, right now.”
Remy strode out of the room. Perhaps it would be for the best if he wasn’t here for a while. Whatever was going on with Rogue, she was terrified. If he wasn’t here maybe it would make things easier on her.

Chapter Text

Part Six

Five years ago

Rogue grinned and moved her knight across the chess board. “Checkmate.” She knocked over Eric’s king and sat back in her chair. He stared at the board, drumming his fingers on the table. “Ah won.”
“Oh, yes, well done.” Eric shook his head.
“What’s wrong with you? You didn’t jus’ let me win, did you?” She crossed her arms across her chest and scowled at him.
“Of course not. I’m sorry, Schätzchen.” He rubbed at his forehead. “I should have told you earlier. I’ve been in contact with Charles.”
“Oh!” She flinched back and looked at the floor. “Ah see.”
“We knew this was going to happen. Ms. Frost can only do so much. You need him to repair your mind.”
“There’s nothin’ wrong with mah mind.” She jumped to her feet, her fists clenched at her side.
“You know that’s not true.” He ran a shaking hand through his white hair. “Charles will be here tomorrow to take you home.”
“No! This is mah home.” She turned and ran out of the room.

*

Rogue sat high up in the tree, looking out at the thick jungle. Tears burned her eyes. She rubbed them away with a loud huff. First the Professor, now Eric making decisions for her. She wasn’t a child. There was a small tug on the link between them and a calm settled over her. She didn’t want to be calm. Eric was right, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, the psychic link tainted her emotions.
“Are you alright?” Eric asked as he floated over to her.
“Leave me alone.”
“I’m sorry. Forgive me?” He held out his hand. She ignored it. He let out a sigh. “Anna Marie, come back, it’s not safe out here.”
“Ah can look after mahself.” She lifted her chin and glared at him.
“I was hoping we could have dinner together before you left, talk.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small oval of silver. In the centre was a small green gem. “I got this for you.”
“What, you thought you could cheer me up with a pretty piece of metal?” Her eyes locked on to it. It was beautiful. Her lower lip trembled.
“I wish you could stay here. The past few weeks have beens one of the happiest of my life.” His voice was very gentle. She closed her eyes. “Liebchen, you need to go back to your family, let them help you heal.”
“Ah love you, Ah do.” She shook her head. “Ah know you think Ah’m a child.”
“No, I don’t but you are a lot younger than me, Rogue.” He hadn’t used her X-Men name in a long time. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I promise you, if after going back to the X-Men, you decide that you want to be here, with me then I would be the happiest man alive. But right now, the link is clouding everything.” He dropped the pendant into her open hand.
“Eric-”
“I love you, Anna-Marie, too much to let you throw your life away on a a false emotion. The pendant is a beacon. If you ever need me, simply press the centre jewel and I will come to you as soon as I can. Now, come in, please. Let’s at least try to enjoy our last night together.”

*
Now

Gambit was back from his mission. Not that he would look at her. Rogue couldn’t blame him. She still wasn’t sure what had happened that night but she knew it wasn’t his fault. She leaned against the wall and waited. Jean settled back in her chair and crossed her legs.
“This would be easier if you sat down.” Jean’s voice was very gentle. Everyone was gentle with right now. It set her teeth on edge. Her ribs were almost healed. She wasn’t about to break apart. “Rogue, what’s happening right now?”
“Nothin’. Ah know exactly where Ah am. The voices are there but Ah can ignore them.” At least right now. She was sick of her teammates treating her as if she was sick.
“And you and Gambit?”
“None of your business.” Rogue looked away and sighed. “Ah’m sorry, Jean. Ah’m like a river rat with a burnin’ tail right now. It’s embarrassin’.”
“I’m a telepath. Trust me, nothing you can tell me would shock me.” Jean gestured to the chair. “Please, I want to help you but I can’t if you won’t talk to me. I know something happened between the two of you. Gambit is smoking like a chimney and you’re everywhere he’s not.”
“Ah hurt him, again.” Rogue sank into the chair and wrapped her arms around her waist. “He didn’t do anythin’ wrong.”
“Hey, it’s alright. You two love each other. You’ll sort it out.” Jean reached over and touched Rogue’s gloved hand.
“Can’t you just read mah mind? Ah give you full permission.” Rogue tried to smile but a wave of mental pain overwhelmed her. She doubled over. Jean waited. “Please.”
“Well, apart from the fact that you’re harder to read with all the other personas around, I’d rather you told me.”
“Remy and Ah, we—we’ve been gettin’ closer since the Savage Lands. Ah let things go too far.” Rogue pulled at her jacket. She couldn’t look at Jean, couldn’t bear to see condemnation in her friend’s eyes. “Ah accused him of—taking advantage, Ah suppose. Which he didn’t. One of the otha’ personalities took over temporarily. He couldn’t have known.”
“I see. Can you tell me more?”
“Alright, but please, don’t tell any of the others.” Rogue felt her cheeks heat up as she described what happened between them. Jean only smiled at her and took Rogue’s hand. “Ah wouldn’t blame him if he nevah wanted to talk to me again.”
“Did you tell him any of this?”
“Ah can’t face him.” Rogue felt the tears burning her eyes and rubbed them away. No, she had enough of crying. “Ah’m too—”
“Embarrassed? Shy? Upset?” Jean smiled. “Was that the first time you two were intimate?”
“Yes, apart from a kiss.” Rogue forced herself to look up.
“I’m sorry it happened for you that way. That was an assault by the persona. But why don’t you tell him? I think he would be relieved to know that you don’t blame him.”
“Ah can’t.” Rogue shook her head. “Ah don’t know how?”
“If you want I’ll help you find the words.” Jean squeezed Rogue’s fingers and broke away. “But before the other persona took over, was it what you wanted?”
“Yes, to held like that an—it was foolish. Ah coulda seriously hurt him. That boy has no sense of self-preservation.”
“I think it’s human. We all need touch, and I know how careful you are.” Jean folded her hands on her lap. “I think, as long as it’s entirely on your terms, it would be good for you to find ways around your powers.”
“Ah’m— mah skin is too dangerous.” Rogue held up her hands.
“We’re all dangerous. The first time I invited Scott to my room we were both so young and—”
“The first time?” Rogue smiled just a little.
“He was a very shy boy. Nothing would’ve ever happened if I hadn’t taken control. Anyway, when he kissed me I accidentally knocked off his glasses. He destroyed half the wall in my room. Imagine explaining that to the Professor.”
“It’s not the same thing, Jean.”
“And the first time we were intimate, I was overwhelmed and lost control of my powers. I telekinetically threw him off me. He broke his arm.” Jean grinned. “We can laugh about it now, but we could’ve killed each other.”
“Ah know what you’re tryin’ to do, an’ Ah appreciate it.” Rogue’s smile stretched across her face. The image of Scott flying thought the air— She laughed.
“I’m just trying to explain that we all have struggled with control in intimate situations. You should ask Storm about the time she electrocuted her date. It was a short time before you joined us.” Jean shook her head. “You do of course have one big advantage over Scott and I.”
“An’ what’s that?”
“We were two kids, we hadn’t a clue what we were doing. Something tells me you won’t have that problem with Remy.” Jean stood up and rested a hand on Rogue’s shoulder. “I know it’s scary, but trust that he loves you, and he just wants to be with you.”
Rogue’s cheeks flamed red and she nipped at her lower lip. “Ah’ll think about it.”

*

Scott walked into the room and squeezed Jean’s shoulder. She leaned in to him. “How is she?” He asked.
“Traumatised, scared and on edge. She doesn’t need me, she needs the Professor.” Jean shook her head. “What he’s doing is cruel?”
“We all agreed not to tell her what happened. He wiped her mind and kept her alive.” Scott kissed her on the forehead. “You can’t tell her, Jean.”
“I know. Damn Charles—I know.” She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. “Her shields are holding and I think if she and Remy sort out what happened it will help ground her but it’s all temporary. The body always remembers, no matter how much you wipe someone’s mind.”
“We don’t know what happened to her in that prison. She never told us” Scott held her and stroked her back.
“Yes, we do. And we’re her friends. We’re supposed to be helping her.”
“We will help her any way we can, but she has to remember herself.”
“Why? Because Professor Xavier says so?” Jean pushed Scott away. “I’m sorry, I’m just so worried about her. And keeping the truth from her isn’t helping.”
“I’ll talk to him, as soon as he gets back.” Scott tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. “And you’re the one keeping her together. You’re incredible.”
“Flatterer.” She leaned up and kissed him. “This secrecy needs to end Scott, or I will tell her myself, and damn the consequences.”
“Give the Professor a chance, Jean, please. At least wait a few days.” Scott stroked her cheek. “Promise me.”
“Alright, a few days. But no longer.”

*

Rogue sat up on the roof, looking up at the setting sun. In her hand she held the tiny silver pendant studded with a green stone. She had found it with her old green uniform. Her finger pressed on the centre. It pulsed under her skin. Then she waited, hugging her knees to her chest. Her eyes drifted closed as the sky darkened.
“Are you alright?” Eric asked as he landed beside her. He sat down and took off his glove.
“No, Ah’m fallen’ to pieces. Ah remember you, a few disjointed memories. You saved mah life.”
“Yes.” He sighed and shook his head. “I gave you that pendant to use if you were in danger, Anna. I shouldn’t be here.”
“Why not?” She turned her head and looked at him. “You were mah friend, maybe more than that, and then nothin’. You nevah looked at me, nevah acknowledged me since.”
“Because it was dangerous for you to remember.”
“But why?” Rogue lifted up her hands. Frustration contorted her face. “What is so dangerous about you and me? Ah don’t get it. Please, tell me.”
“When I found you your mind had fractured. Emma Frost pierced you together but in order to do that she established a psychic bond between us.” He looked away. Rogue took off her glove and reached for his hand. His warm skin was comforting, almost addictive. “One of the effects the bond is that you felt things for me that we’re not real.”
“Ah loved you.” The words felt right, true and yet hollow.
“No, you cared for me, perhaps a small dose of infatuation after I saved you but that’s all.”
“Don’t tell me what Ah feel.” She pulled her hand away.”What Ah felt. It was real to me. Don’t pretend you didn’t feel the same.”
“Would you rather I had taken advantage of you, a traumatised girl younger than my daughter? No, what you felt wasn’t real, and I think you know that.” His voice was very gentle. He kept his hand between them. “I held your hand to cement the bond, that’s all that happened.”
“Ah know.” She reached for his hand again.
”Liebchen, I can’t tell you anything more. It’s too dangerous for you. I shouldn’t have come.”
“But you did anyway.”
“Because I promised I would.” They sat together for a long time, their fingers twisted together. Eventually he sighed and shook his head. “I know you’re angry with me, with Charles. You should be. But please believe, we did the best we could for you.”
“Ah believe you.” She managed a small smile.
“I should go. Cyclops and the rest of the team would not be happy to see me here, I suspect.” Eric leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you, Anna Marie. If you need me, just use the pendant to call me.”
“Eric—” Her mouth opened but the words fell away. What did she feel for him? It was all too strange.
“It’s alright, liebchen. Be happy.”

*

Remy froze in place, the unlit cigarette held in his fingers. Rogue and Magneto were holding hands. It shouldn’t have been so intimate but it was. His chéire leaned into the older man in a way she never had with him. Her admission of love hurt Rémy in a way he couldn’t begin to explain.
He watched as Eric kissed Rogue on the forehead. He called her Anna. Was that her real name? His fingers crumpled the cigarette as Eric flew off. Rogue sat there, curled up, crying. Anger flared up in Remy. He wanted to run to her, grab hold of her and beg him to tell him what was going on, but he stayed where he was.
He had his own past. How many relationships, casual flings, one-night-stands had he had over the years? It was hypocritical for him to be angry that Rogue had once loved someone else, but he was. Angry that another man could touch her. And that she had never told him.
Remy dropped the cigarette on the roof tiles and spun on his heel. Enough, he had had enough.

*

The beer tasted sour. Gambit leaned back on the bar stool and swore. This was supposed to help him feel, if not better at least not feel anything at all. A beautiful blonde woman caught his eye and smiled at him from across the room. He turned away. Alcohol couldn’t fill the hole inside him but he was going to give it a try.
“Hey, cajun, what are you doin’ here?” Wolverine dragged himself onto the bar stool, a cigar stuck between his lips. “I thought Cyke would still be debriefing you. How did the mission go?”
“It went.” Gambit shrugged. “Mon ami, if you don’t mind, I plan on getting very drunk right now.”
“Anything to do with Rogue?”
“None of your damn business.” Gambit took another swallow of beer. The taste hadn’t improved. “She made it clear she doesn’t want me.”
“When has that ever stopped you before?’ Wolverine waved at Harry, the barman. Two more beers appeared in front of them. “You’re not gonna find the answer at the bottom of that bottle, cajun.”
“I know.” Gambit picked up the fresh bottle and tipped it off Wolverine’s. “I don’ need a babysitter, Logan. I just wanna let off a little steam.”
“I’m not here to mother you, swamp rat. I’m here for a drink.” Wolverine took a long slug from the bottle. “She missed you.”
“Who? Stormy?” Gambit kept his eyes on the bar.
“You know who I mean.”
“Yeah, and I don’ care.” He shook his head. Just as well he wasn’t trying to play poker right now. He couldn’t keep the truth from his face.
“O’ course you don’t.”
“Thanks of de beer, old man.” Gambit slipped off the stool and sauntered over to the blonde girl. If alcohol wouldn’t work, maybe something else would.

*

Rogue gave up trying to sleep after 01:00. She padded into the kitchen and walked over to the fridge. She opened it and stared at the contents. Nothing appealed. She sighed and closed the door. Maybe a moonlit flight would help. What Beast didn’t know he couldn’t reprimand her for?
“You could try de cupboard over dere, if you’re lookin’ for somethin’ sweet.” Remy’s slurred voice echoed in the quiet. She jumped around and pressed her back to the door. “Is dat my old shirt? I wondered what happened to it.”
“No, yes.” She tugged at the material. The sweat shirt felt far too flimsy in front of him.
“Looks better on you den it evah did on me.” He looked her up and down slowly with a smirk. She swallowed and glanced towards the door. He moved closer until they almost touched. “Now, what could a lovely lady like you be doin’ up at dis time of night. Your boyfriend leave you on your lonesome?”
“Mah boyfriend? You’re not makin’ any sense, Remy.” She moved past him but his hand closed over her bare wrist. Not rough and she could have easily broken away from him but she held still. “How much have you had ta drink?”
“Not enough, chérie. Now, where are you runnin’ off to. Did you miss me?”
“Yes. And Ah’m sorry. What happened—”
“It don’ matter.” His hand moved up her naked arm.
“Yes, it does.”
“Belle, de only t’ink I wanna do right now is make up for lost time.” His mouth almost touched hers now. She should have pulled away but she didn’t. “So, why don’ you come up t’ mah room an’ we can continue what we started.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?” His breath burnt her cheek. She could smell the alcohol and the nicotine. Her body leaned in to his. For a second his face softened then the cruel smirk was back. “Judging from de pretty noises you made de last time, you were enjoying yourself before you accused me or unwanted advances.”
“Ah’m so sorry, Remy.”
“Too late for dat, Rogue. Or should I say Anna. Dat is a very pretty name.”
“What?” Rogue flinched away. Remy let go of her arm. The roof. Had he seen her and Eric? Her cheeks flushed. “It’s not what you think. And we shouldn’t be having’ this conversation when you’re drunk.”
“Why not? Dis is the first time you let me near you since I touched you.” His smirk widened. Her hands shook. “Mebbe now you’ll let me finish, make you feel real good.”
“No.”
“Den, go t’ hell, Rogue.”
“Remy—”
“I bet you be havin’ a real good laugh at Remy’s expense. Me, stupid enough to tell you how I felt while all along you be t’inking about dat old man.” His mouth stretched into an ugly sneer. “Beggin’ an’ pleadin’ wit’ me t’ touch you and den tossin’ me aside.”
“An love you, and Ah’m sorry. Please, just give me a chance to explain.” She reached for him but he backed away.
“Tell you what, mon amour. You evah want me to scratch that hot itch for you den I’ll be more than happy to oblige and mebbe you can use dat mouth of yours for something other than lying. Otherwise, stay the fuck away from me.” He turned around and stormed out of the kitchen.
“Remy?” Her voice was very soft. She sagged against the counter and slid to the floor. Sobs shook through her and she closed her eyes, falling into the darkness.

Chapter Text

Five years ago

Rogue ate the dinner, aware of Eric looking at her. The red dress made her feel like a princess. And tomorrow she would go back to being an x-man. The connection to Eric tugged at her. She couldn’t leave him. No, she couldn’t. She reached across the table and covered his hand with her own.
“So, you are talking to me then.” Eric smiled as he took a sip of wine.
“Ah don’t wanna leave you, Eric. Ah understand that there is this psychic bond influencin’ what Ah’m feelin’ an’ you’re tryin’ t’ look aftah me, but what I feel—It’s real.”
“I know you believe that Anna, but you’re a lot younger than me and—” He paused and closed his eyes. “You have no idea how much you tempt me, Schätzchen. You are very beautiful.”
“Ah may be young, but Ah know my own mind.” She lifted her chin and pressed her lips together.
“Yes, I can see that.” He squeezed her fingers. “I tell you what, I will make you a deal. You go back to the X-Men, to your friends and, in a few months, if you still want to be here then I will be very happy to see you.”
“Alright.” She smiled. He kissed her hand. “Ah have a condition of mah own. Ah’m all dressed up in this fancy gown and I want you to dance with me, Eric. Right now.”
“I would be delighted.”
He walked over to the record player. A few seconds later a slow waltz pulsed through the room. He strode over to her and bowed, before offering her his hand. She took it and he pulled her into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder as they danced in slow circles. After a few minutes he flew into the air, pulling her with him. She laughed and threw her head back.
“A face and a smile to launch a thousand ships.” He kissed her forehead. “I will miss you, Liebchen. You have brought light into this place.”
“Eric, would you kiss me?’ Her face was very serious now. She tilted her head back and looked straight into his blue eyes.
“Anna—”
“Ah know what you’re gonna say. You don’t wanna take advantage. But the only memories Ah have of being touched are either to take from someone or what those guards did and—Ah’d like to have one good experience.”
“Well, when you put it like that, how can I resist?” He leaned down and brushed his lips across hers. She tightened her hands around his neck pulling him closer.
“Eric, I hate to interrupt but you have a visitor.” Emma’s icy tones floated up to them. Rogue’s face flushed and she pulled away. Eric kept his arm around her waist.
“What is is it, Emma?” He floated back down to the floor. Rogue clung to him.
“They found them, your men. They captured those guards from the prison.” Emma frowned. “What do you want done with them?”
“I’ll look after them myself.” He kissed Rogue on the forehead. “Good night, Liebchen, thank you for the dance.”
“Eric, what are you gonna do?” Rogue asked.
“You don’t want to know, child.” He smiled and pulled away from her. “I will speak to you in the morning before Charles arrived.”

*
Now

Gambit groaned and pulled the covers over his head. In the distance he could hear the wails of the alarm but he didn’t care. The bright sun stabbed at his head. A sudden weight dropped onto his chest and he grunted. The blanket was torn away and a fist pressed into his chin. Gambit could feel the razor sharp claws either side of his face.
“What the hell did you say to her?” Wolverine growled.
“Mon ami—”
“I swear, gumbo, I will shred you to pieces if you don’t answer right now. What did you say to Rogue?” Wolverine lifted him off the bed with one hand, his fist still under Gambit’s chin.
“Is she alright?”
“No, she’s ripping the guts out of the danger room. Only, it’s not her. What happened?” Wolverine’s voice dropped.
“We fought. I said— I was cruel.” Gambit shoved Wolverine away. “And what do you mean it’s not her?”
“The other personalities in her head have taken over.” Wolverine stepped back but he pointed his claws at Gambit. “She knocked Jean out, broke Storm’s arm. Then she locked herself in the danger room. Beast thinks Rogue did it deliberately to try to contain the other personas. It won’t hold her for long.”
“No, she wouldn’t do that.” Gambit jumped to his feet. A glowing card appeared in his hand.
“Cajun, before she joined the X-Men she once took out the entire Avengers team in under twenty minutes. She’s too strong for us to hold her. Cyclops is about to go for the nuclear option if we can’t talk her down.”
“You can’t do that!” Gambit shoved Wolverine against the wall. He shoved back. “She’s our friend.”
“Yeah, that’s the only reason Cyclops hasn’t blown up the danger room with her in it. And even that might not stop her. The Professor is on his way. I swear, Gambit, if we lose her because you couldn’t stop runnin’ your mouth you’re a dead man.” Wolverine jabbed a claw in his direction. “You knew she was fragile.”
“Yeah, I did.” Gambit turned away and dropped the card.
“Well, you better use that silver tongue of yours to bring her back.”
“I doubt she’ll want anyt’ing t’ do wit’ me.”
“Yeah, I don’t care. Get your clothes on. Either you talk her down or I’m gonna gut you slowly. Cyclops is giving us an hour before he flips the switch and floods the room with null fields. She won’t survive that.”

*

Cyclops jabbed at the control panel. “Talk to me, Rogue, please. Tell me what we can do to help.” He pressed his palm against the metal.
“I’m sorry, fearless leader, Rogue can’t come to the phone right now.” Her soft, dulcet tones flooded over the speakers. Gambit froze. It wasn’t her. “Let me out, now, or I will destroy this room and the rest of your mansion. You can’t hold me for long, you know that.”
“Mon amour.” Gambit whispered the words, staring through the clear screen. She was rocketing from one wall to another, punching the metal. “Je suis desolée.”
“Yeah, that’s no good to us right now.” Wolverine turned to Cyclops. “How is Jean?”
“Unconscious but Beast says she’ll come around soon.” Cyclops jabbed a finger at Gambit. “What dd you do?”
“Why you all assumin’ dis is my fault.” A card appeared in Gambit’s hand, but not glowing. Not yet. His heart hammered in his chest. “I’m not responsible for de voices in her head.”
“I don’t care what you think.” Cyclops grabbed Gambit by the lapels of his coat and shoved him against the wall. “She was fighting the voices, she was winning and then she just collapsed. This is your fault and you better fix things before I have to kill my friend to stop her hurting anyone else.”
“Fine, open de door.” Gambit held still, looking at Cyclops, his hands hanging by his side. He was right. It was Gambit’s fault. “Give me a chance.”
“It’s either that or the null field, Cyke.” Wolverine folded his arms, his voice oddly gentle. “I’ll go in with him.”
“Alright. Rogue hasn’t spoken since she went in. I think Carol is in full control. You two were friends once, Logan. Maybe she’ll listen to you.” Cyclops let go of Gambit and stepped back. “The Professor is trying to break through to her but the confusion in her mind is too strong. He’ll need to use Cerebro and he’s still over an hour away.”
“She and Magneto have some kinda connection. Call him. He’ll come for her.” The words were bitter in his mouth but Gambit knew it was the right thing.
“Alright, but we can’t wait much longer. If she gets out of the danger room none of us will be able to stop her. We don’t know what she’ll do.” Cyclops dragged a hand through his hair. “Get down there. I’ll open the door for a few seconds but you two are on your own.”
“Where is every one else?” Wolverine asked.
“Beast is with Storm and Jean. I had Morph take Jubilee somewhere safe.” Cyclops scowled. “It’s now or never, you two. Get down to the door.”

*

The door swung open. Wolverine ran in. Gambit held back. It was quiet, too quiet. His restless fingers plucked out a card and he glanced at it. The joker. He smiled grimly and ran in. Rogue was hovering in the centre of the room. The walls were cracked and dented. She gave him a lovely smile and held out her arms to him.
“Hello, Remy. Don’t you look handsome this morning. Are you here for a repeat of that night.” Her voice was gentle, sweet and it wasn’t her. “You’re not my type, but I can see the appeal. Poor Rogue, locked up with her own longings, scared to let go.”
“Don’t do this, Ace,” Wolverine said.
“Why not? She pulled me out of my body, left me trapped inside her. All so she could have my powers.” Her voice grew louder until she was shouting at them. “Tell Cyclops to let me out and I’ll go quietly. You’ll never hear from me again.”
“That’s not happening, Carol. Please, I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m so sorry.” Wolverine walked towards her. “But this isn’t you. Let her come back, please.”
“No, I’m in control now.” She flung her head back and screamed. Then she went silent. She looked at Gambit and smirked. “An’ what are you gonna do, mon ami? Whisper sweet words, persuade her dat you love her? De girl is not dat stupid.”
“Get out of her,” Gambit yelled.
“So beautiful and soft, and so afraid. It was fun takin’ ovah dis body, making her feel what she was missin’ out on.” Her voice was thick with a cajun accent. She darted through the air and punched Wolverine, knocking him into the wall. “Wanna try it again?”
“Leave her alone.” Gambit flung a card at her and then another and another. She dodged them and smiled.
“You missed, mon frère.”
“What you did to her! Raped her.” Another card. He had maybe one chance. How much time had gone past?
“Don’ be so dramatic, mon ami. You know you want her.” She flew closer to him. She dragged a hand down her body. Gambit looked away, his stomach twisting. “Her mind is gone, you broke her an’ now we get to play.”
“No.” Gambit jumped and shoved Rogue against the wall. The smirk on her face widened. Then the cards blew up. She fell to the floor, dragging him with her. He landed on his back with her on top of him. He reached up and cradled her cheek. “Rogue, Anna, come back t’ me.”
“Remy?” She blinked and shook her head. “What’s happening? Ah can’t stop them. Everythin’ is so loud.”
“Yes, you can, stay here wit’ me. I am so sorry. I love you.” The words tumbled out of him. “What I said—I was angry and jealous and a fool.”
“Ah can’t.” She bared her teeth. He could see the beads of sweat on her forehead. “Ah don’t have anywhere to put them. They’re tryin’ t’ kill me. Ah can’t fight them all.”
“Den let me help.” He stroked her face. “Kiss me, absorb me.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Gambit. You’ll make things worse,” Wolverine growled.
“The personas hate you but I don’, Rogue. I love you. Let me help you, please.” He smiled. “We don’ have long, mon amour.”
“You’re crazy.” She pressed a hand to his chest but didn’t move away. “Ah could kill you.”
“I’m dyin’ right now. Let me make dis right. Kiss me.”
He thought she was going to shove him away, fly off. Her face contorted with rage, then fear. She touched his cheek and lowered her mouth. The kiss was clumsy, rough and sweet. Gambit held on to her as he was dragged down into unconsciousness.

*

Rogue screamed. Hands dragged her down into the mud, trying to hold her in the place. Above her she could see Carol flying through the purple sky. Why was it purple? She kicked one of the figures but they pulled her down. More piled on top of her.
Then she was in the cell, her clothes torn. The men laughed at her as their hands roamed over her, pinching and squeezing. She couldn’t fight then either. No, she couldn’t do anything. She stopped fighting. It would be over soon.
A flash of light blinded her and she was back, lying on the ground. The figures were gone. A hand appeared, but this one didn’t touch her. She looked up and saw Gambit. But not the perverted fragment that had tormented her. Her Remy.
“Time to get out of here, Chérie. Up you get now.” He grabbed her hand. “C’mon, I know you got more fight in you.”
“Ah can’t.” She shook her head. “Leave me alone.”
“No, I love you an’ you’re comin’ back wit’ me.” His hand pulled her to her feet. She stumbled against him. “Or I’m stayin’ here wit’ you.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Mebbe.” He kissed her, a ghost of a kiss. “Time t’ fight, belle.”
She shook her head. No, she couldn’t. It hurt too much. Then she saw one of the personas rechristen for him, her clawed hand raking at his head. With a curse Rogue pushed Remy aside and punched the ghost. It flew away into the air. Remy laughed and pulled out his staff.
They stood back to back, fighting. Her arms were so tired. The fragments kept coming. And above them Carol shouted down insults. Her knees buckled. No, she had to keep going. She had to. Gambit reached behind and squeezed her hand.
“Enough!” The Professor appeared, floating in the air. He pointed a finger at Carol. “Leave this place.”
“Make me, old man.” Carol punched him but her fist passed through him. Her eyes widened. “No, I’m not going back.”
“Keep fightin’, Rogue,” Gambit whispered. His staff batted another ghost away. “Give him time to do is his job.”
The Professor extended his hand. Four walls appeared around Carol and boxed her in. She screamed over and over but he sealed her into the cell. Then he did the same for the others. Silence descended and Rogue dropped to her knees.
“Time to go home, Rogue,” the Professor said gently, holding out his hand.

*

Gambit groaned and opened his eyes. Pain stabbed his temple. A soft hand touched his face. Rogue? No, not her. He opened his eyes and looked up at the tired Storm, one hand in a sling. He forced himself to sit up.
“You’re back. How are you feeling?” Ororo asked.
“I should be askin’ you dat.”
“It’s nothing. Hank took care of it.” Ororo sat down beside his bed.
“Where is Rogue?” He looked around but there wasn’t anyone else in the room. He started to get up but Ororo stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“She’s alright. She’s unconscious, but the Professor is sealing away the rest of the personas. She’ll wake up soon.” Ororo smiled. “It was close, but my sister is a fighter.”
“What is happening, Ororo? Why did she break apart like dat? I know we fought but I don’ t’ink it can be all my fault.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed. His body was weak, slow.
“I don’t know. I understand that something happened a long time ago on a mission, but that is all.” Ororo patted his hand. “You should rest. You want to be well for her when she wakes up.”
Wolverine appeared in the doorway. “I see you survived,” he said gruffly.
“Yeah, still in one piece.” Gambit forced himself to stand up and walked towards Wolverine. “I got questions.”
“I’m sure you do, Remy, but Rogue is recovering. Once she is awake I will talk to her.” The Professor floated into the room. “I need to scan your mind, to make sure you haven’t taken any injuries. It was foolish of you to let her absorb you like that.”
“Foolish!” Gambit grabbed the Professor by the lapels of his jacket. “What the hell did you do t’ her! You made her forget and then left her to deal with the ghost ripping her apart.”
“Cajun, stop. You’re right to be angry but you won’t help her.” Wolverine’s voice was quiet, almost gentle. He touched Gambit’s arm.
“Time someone gave me some answers. Or I’m gonna start blowing t’ings up, startin’ wit’ you, Professor.” Gambit wasn’t strong enough to lift the man out of his chair but his powers still worked. His hands started to glow. “What happened to her!”
“It’s not for you to know,” the Professor said, very calmly.
“It was a mission that went wrong,” Wolverine said. His fingers fumbled with a cigar. “If you need to hurt someone, hurt me, cajun. It was my fault.”
“Stop this now.” Ororo touched Gambit’s arm. “This isn’t helping anyone, Remy. The Professor is doing his best.”
“No, I made a mistake. I thought if she didn’t remember then it wouldn’t haunt her. Then I left her when she needed me most.” The Professor leaned back in his chair.
“Remy, I’ll tell you what I know.” Wolverine sighed and he lit his cigar.
“Logan, don’t,” the Professor said.
“Secrets have brought us to this.” Wolverine shook his head. “I don’t know everything that happened to her. Rogue refused to talk about it, but I can guess.”
“Start talkin’, mon ami.” Gambit let go of the Professor and stepped back. He pulled out a card and held it out. It wasn’t glowing, yet.
“This was back before you had joined us, and Storm was away on another mission. Rogue had only been with us for a year, maybe less. Genosha wasn’t the first island to think that they could enslave mutants. We had heard rumours of a place that was imprisoning them and forcing them to work. Rogue shouldn’t have been the one with me. She was too green but she begged t’ come with me.” Wolverine took a drag on his cigar, his eyes on the floor. “We had no idea what we were gettin’ in to. They had some kinda tech that could just switch off mutant powers. We were helpless. I watched as they dragged her off to the cells. I fought them, Remy, I swear I did but there were too many. They chained me up for days.”
“Damn it, Wolverine.” The card in Gambit’s hand started to glow.
“I don’t know what they did to her in the cell, but it wasn’t hard to guess. A beautiful, young girl, with no way of protecting herself. I heard the guards talking about her.” Wolverine shook his head. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I would’ve done anything to protect her but I couldn’t fight them.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Logan.” Ororo walked over to him and put a hand on his arm.
“Yes, it was. So if you want to hit someone, cajun, hit me. I won’t stop you.” Wolverine took the cigar out of his mouth. His shoulders sagged and for once he looked his age. “Magneto and his goons came later. They destroyed the prison and he took Rogue away. I tried to find her but I couldn’t. Then the Professor got a message from him and I was told that we had to leave Rogue where she was. That Magus was helping her heal.”
“So, Magneto saved her.” The glow from the card vanished. Gambit stuffed it back into his pocket. “Den what happened.”
“Emma Frost put her mind together but to keep her tethered to reality, she had to form a psychic bond between Rogue and Eric. The kind of bond that influences emotions.” The Professor held out his hands. “She and Eric grew close.”
“So he be de white knight.” Gambit shook his head. “And den they had a relationship?”
“No, Eric told me he never touched her and after I saw inside her mind I knew it was true.” The Professor stopped and twisted his fingers together. “The bond saved her but it wasn’t enough. She either had to stay with him for the rest of her life or she would eventually crack and the other personas would take over.”
“An’ you didn’t want him influencin’ her. De big villain.” Gambit folded his arms. “Den what happened.”
“The only way to save her, to stop her mind falling into pieces again was for her to forget. Forget everything, even her time with Eric. I wiped her mind. I swore Logan, Scott and Jean to secrecy. Any mention at all of what had happened could cause her to crack.” The Professor adjusted his jacket. “But being imprisoned again without her powers, then seeing Eric started to break down the shields. I should have realised. I am sorry, Remy.”
“Excep’, when she forgot she never learnt to deal wit’ it. Her body didn’t forget what happened to her.” Gambit swore and stomped away. Ororo followed him and stood with him. “What am I gonna do, Stormy? My poor petite. How do I help her?”
“You be there for her. We both will be.” Ororo hugged him. “The Professor was wrong, but I believe he did the best he could. Now, we help her pick up the pieces.”

*

The thread of the melody pulled her back. Rogue moved towards it. A gentle hand squeezed hers. She opened her eyes and looked up at Eric. A sudden disappointment stabbed at her. She sat up and looked around.
“How are you feeling?” Eric asked as he handed her a cup of water.
“Like Ah’ve been dragged outta the Mississippi by mah hair and thrown in the blender.” She sipped the water. Her throat felt raw. She looked at Eric and realised something. The connection was gone. The overwhelming feelings that had threatened to engulf her had calmed down to something quiet. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry I’m not Gambit.” He smiled and pulled his bare hand away. She missed the touch of his skin but didn’t crave it in the same way as before. “I’ll go and let you rest.”
“Don’t, not yet.” She reached for his hand. “Thank you. You saved me, kept me sane. Thank you.”
“I would happily do it again.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Our link is gone. Charles broke it when he brought you back.”
“Ah see.” She missed it, the pull, the strange attraction but her mind was clear. She cupped his cheek with her bare hand. He held still. “And yet, here you are, watchin’ ovah me again.”
“I’ll always be here, if you need me, Liebchen. But it’s time for me to go.”
“Why?” The word seemed to hover between them.
“I love you, Anna Marie. I know you don’t have those feelings for me.” He closed his eyes for a second and leaned against her hand. “Goodbye, Rogue. Be happy.”
“Good bye, Eric.” She leaned in and brushed her lips across his, just a shadow of a kiss. “Ah love you too. Not the way you want, but Ah do.”
“That is more than enough for me.” He covered her hand with his and smiled. “You should rest. And I should go.”
“Good bye Eric.”
She watched him leave. There was a dull ache in her chest. She rested her bead back against the pillows. The whole of her past paraded in front of her eyes, the horror and the beauty. Tears spilled over. What was she going to do now?

Chapter Text

Part Eight

Five years ago

Rogue looked at the Professor, the man she had given her whole life too. He smiled at her and rested his elbows on his knees. Eric stood at her shoulder, not touching her but close enough that all she had to do was reach out. She rubbed her palms together.
“We’ve missed you, Rogue. Wolverine in particular has been worried about you.” The Professor smiled, that sweet, fatherly smile. She took a step back and shook her head. “I’m here to take you home. Your teammates are just outside.”
“Ah don’t want to go.” She shook her head over and over. “Please, Eric, let me stay. Ah’ll do whatever you say.” She turned to Magneto and reached out. He flinched away from her.
“I’m sorry, Schätzchen, but you can’t stay with me. The link will warp your mind, bind you tighter and tighter to me. You need to live your own life.” His voice was calm, almost cold. Not like last night when he had kissed her. “But you can come back, later if you want to.”
“No, she can’t, Eric.” The Professor’s chair floated over to her. Rogue backed away. “I’m sorry, child. The only way to free you from the link is to make you forget everything.”
“No! Ah don’t want that.” She rubbed at her arms over and over. The Professor had cared for her, saved her but this was different.
“It will be alright, Rogue, I promise. Please, trust me.” The Professor reached for her hand. She jumped away. “You’ll just go to sleep and when you wake up you’ll be with your friends.”
“This isn’t what we agreed, Charles.” Eric moved between them. ‘I know she can’t stay here, for her own sake but you never mentioned anything about wiping her mind.”
“It’s the only way.”
“No, Ah won’t let you do this.” She turned and flew out of the room. Her head jerked from side to side. Wolverine walked towards her, his hand stretched out. “Get out of mah way, Logan.”
“We’ve missed you, moonbeam. I am so sorry. I tried to get you out, I did but I couldn’t.” Wolverine moved closer. His gloved hand touched hers. It’ll be okay now.”
“Please, Wolvie, don’t let him do this to me. Ah don’t want this.” She backed away. Wolverine gave her a sad smile. She hit the wall. “Ah’m strong enough, Ah am.”

The Professor’s clipped voice echoed in her head. She dropped to the floor, holding her temples.
“I’m here, kid, you’re safe.” Wolverine put his arms around her. She rested against his chest. Her body felt strange. She tried to move her arms but they were too heavy. “I swear, Chuck, if you mess this up I’ll stab that big brain of yours.”

“Eric, please, don’t let them do this. Ah love you, don’t let them.” Her head fell forward as she felt the Professor push his way into her mind and everything went dark.

*

Now

Rogue opened her eyes and stared up at the white ceiling. Her body ached but her mind was her own. Her thoughts belonged to her. There was still the echo of the other voices but they were far away. Except for one.
Gambit’s voice was very gentle, more like the real Remy.
“Ah don’t want to talk to you.” The words echoed around the room. It was a lie of course, she craved hearing his voice, even in her mind.
She could hear the smile in his voice.
“You took over mah body and told him—” She stopped. What was the point in arguing with a shadow?

She felt something against her cheek, a brush of air like a kiss. What a strange thing? She hugged her knees to her chest. There was a soft knock on the door. She swung her legs out and sat on the edge of the mattress. Her hands grabbed the blanket and covered her bare skin.
“Come in.”
“Are you feeling better, Rogue? Beast says your ribs have now fully healed.” The Professor floated in to the room in his chair. She flinched back. “How are the voices? The memories?”
“Ah remember everything.” Her voice was cold. She glared at the Professor who didn’t move. “You wiped mah mind.”
“I didn’t have a choice.” He spread his hands wide. His voice was soft and gentle, but she wouldn’t be fooled this time.
“Yeah, you say that a lot.”
“Rogue—” He reached for her but stopped, his hands frozen mid-air.
“You didn’t want me under Magneto’s influence.”
“No, I didn’t. Would you have wanted that? Now you’re in your right mind, would you want him to control you?”
“And how is that bettah then you controllin’ me.” Her hands balled into tight fists. “At least Ah knew Eric loved me an’ only wanted what was best for me.”
“I want that for you too.”
“You want what’s best for you and the team.”
“I didn’t have any good choices.” He looked sad. His hands plucked at his jacket. She scowled and shook her head. “I didn’t want to lose you. I am sorry, Rogue. If there had been any other way—”
“Get out!” Her fist slammed into the mattress. Fear crossed his face.
“Rogue.”
“Ah said get out!” She screamed the words at him, fuelled by all her anger, all her pain. He looked at her for a second and floated out of the room. She grabbed hold of the sheet in both hands. “Ah don’t want you in here either.”
“Hey, kid. Just wanted to check on you.” Wolverine leaned against the door frame, his arms folded. “I’m sorry.”
“For which part.”
“All of it, moonbeam, for not protecting you, for not getting you out of the prison.” He stopped and shook his head. His fingers balled into fists and relaxed again.
“Ah asked to go on that mission. You weren’t my babysitter.” Her voice was calmer. “That’s not what you need to apologise for.”
“I shoulda punched Chuck once I realised what he was gonna do. I believed him when he said he didn’t have a choice. And maybe he didn’t, but he shouldn’t have forced his way into your mind.” He padded towards her, his face twisted in misery. “And I held you while he did it. I’m so sorry, more sorry than I can express.”
“And you kept it from me. You, and Cyke and Jean. What about Storm?” Her fingers tore the sheet over and over. “And Hank? Who else knew?”
“Storm didn’t know anything other than you had amnesia after being attacked. She was away on another mission, and Beast was part of the Avengers at the time. Jean and Scott were only told afterwards, and only that if you remembered what happened to you, your mind would fracture. He left out the bit about the forced mind wipe, or me holding you down.” He moved until he was right in front of her. “What can I do to make it right?”
“Nothin’.” She looked down at the floor. Professor Xavier, Wolverine, Eric, three men she depended on at different parts of her life. Angry bubbled up inside her. “What the hell where you thinkin’!”
“That I couldn’t save you from the guards, but I could save you from yourself. I know how it sounds, kid.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You wanna hit me, go right ahead. I deserve it. Just don’t— All of us, we only wanted what was best for you. I know it’s a poor excuse but it’s the only one I have.”
“Ah don’t want to hit you, Wolverine, but Ah really don’t want to see you right now.” The anger seemed to leech out of her, leaving only a cold loneliness. “Ah get it, Ah do, but Ah’m done with others on the team decidin’ what is best for me.”
“Yeah, I understand.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Just so you know, Gumbo has been sitting outside your room the entire time you were unconscious. He’s been miserable since everything happened. An’ he almost threw Chuck out the window once he heard what he did.”
“Do you know where he is?” She examined the floor boards, trying to ignore how her face heated up.
“Probably the roof. Storm is the only one he’ll talk to right now.” Wolverine sighed and for a second look ancient, every single one of his lives etched into his face. “Take care, kid.”
The door clicked softly behind him. Rogue let out a long, shuddering breath. Tears burned her eyes and she almost called Logan back. She loved the old man and she could see the shame and guilt on his face. The Professor might say he was sorry, but she suspected that he still believed what he did was right. With Wolverine it was different. She slipped off the bed. Right now she needed to be with the one man who was hurt just as much as her, if not more so.
*

Rogue showered and changed into Remy’s long-sleeved top first. She couldn’t smell him off the fabric but it felt a little like he was holding her. She paired it with leggings and the gloves he had given her. Nerves gnawed at her.
No, enough of wasting time. She opened the window and flew out. The night was cold and clear. She shot into the air up and up. A cry of joy startled her and she turned around, hovering in the sky. Ororo moved towards her and hugged her.
“You’re back with us, little sister.” Ororo held on tight with one arm, the other held in a sling. Rogue smiled and felt the tension lift from her shoulders a little. “I am so sorry you went through all that.”
“Your poor arm.” Rogue moved back and looked at the sling. “Ah’m so sorry. What did Beast say?”
“No, don’t you dare apologise.” Storm hugged her again. Rogue rested her head on her friend’s shoulder and let herself cry. “I’m fine, Rogue. But you, my darling, how are you now?”
“Ah’m managin’, Ah guess.” She rubbed at her eyes. Ororo reached into her uniform pocket and pulled out a tissue. She handed it to Rogue. “Thank, girl.”
“As delighted as I am to see you, I take it it’s not me you’re looking for.” Her soft smile widened and a touch of mischief lit up her blue eyes. “He’s on the roof, trying to bring on lung cancer as soon as possible.”
“Oh dear!” Rogue shook her head.
“At least he’s not pickling his liver.” Ororo hugged her again. “Go and put some sense into my brother. And allow yourself to trust him.”
“Ah do, Storm.” Rogue managed a small smile and waved.

*

The cigarette packet was empty. Gambit swore and crushed it in his hand. The nicotine burnt his lungs but at least he could feel something other than the crushing guilt. Rogue was awake, she was back but why would she want him anywhere near him.
He took a long draw on his last cigarette. The cold air bathed his face. ‘Gambit don’ go where he’s not invited’. His earlier words mocked him. His fault. He should have known that Rogue wasn’t in control. His cautious, beautiful chérie wouldn’t suddenly go from allowing him in to rub her shoulders to sexual intimacy so quickly. But he was too blinded by his own needs to pay attention.
“Remy?” Her voice was very soft. He froze in place, the cigarette burning down. “There you are.”
“Go away, petite. I’m not in de mood for company.” He swallowed and stared out into the sky. “I’m glad you’re awake but—”
“Dang it, Remy. Will you at least look at me?’ The familiar, loving exasperation in her voice almost made him turn around. He could feel his eyes burning. “None of this was your fault. In fact, with the exception of Storm and Beast, you’re the only one in this whole mansion who doesn’t owe me an apology. Well, apart from getting idiotically drunk and insultin’ me.’ Now, turn around.”
“You should be resting. We can talk tomorrow.”
“No.” Her hands slid around his waist and he felt her chest pressed against his back. “Ah love you, you idiot.”
“Mon amour, don’, s’il te plaît. I hurt you.” He was shaking. The ash fell from his cigarette. “I’m sorry, I’m—”
“Enough, give me that cigarette before you burn your fingers off.” She snatched it from him and dropped it on the ground. He whirled around. She stamped on it and smiled. Cupping his cheek. The thin silk was warm against his stubble. “Ah love you.”
“I put my hands on you.”
“Ah love you.” She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault, dark eyes. And it wasn’ mine. Except we’re both too stubborn t’ talk to each other.” Her accent grew thicker.
“I love you.” He wrapped his arms around her and cried, sobs shaking him. She cradled him, rocking him, one hand buried in his hair, the other clinging to his lapel.
“Hey, you didn’t do anythin’ wrong.” Her hand moved to stroke the back of his neck. The crying eased a little. A blush rose up from his neck. “Now, Ah’ll go if you want me t’, but is that what you want?”
“No, nevah.” He kissed her covered shoulder.
“Will ya do somethin’ for me, cajun?” She shifted back a little and wiped the last of his tears. away. “Will ya hold me for a while, darlin’, ‘cause Ah really need your arms around me.”
“Right here?” He grinned and reached out to wrap a lock of her hair around his finger.
“Absolutely.”
He sat on the tiles and waited. His hands were shaking. What if he did something wrong, misread something? She knelt down and leaned in, her hand covering his mouth. She kissed her hand. He kissed her palm. Then she settled on to his lap and leaned against him.
“That’s better.” She closed her eyes. “Your skin feels so hot, like you’re burnin’ up on the inside.”
“Well, I am very hot.”
“Ah walked into that one, didn’t Ah?” She sighed and nuzzled his shoulder. “You must be feelin’ better if you’re dropping bad lines like that.”
“I’ve got a beautiful woman in my arms. Dis be heaven right here.” He tightened his grip. “Mon tresór, I am sorry. For not realisin’ it wasn’ you askin’ for me to touch you, an’ for the things I said dat night.”
“Ah’m sorry too, for immediately blamin’ you and not talkin’ to you.” She tipped her head back and pressed her fingers against his mouth. He kissed them. “But if you apologise one more time, Ah’m gonna throw you in the lake.”
“Oui, my queen.”
“You are ridiculous.” She smiled, a beautiful sight. He felt his heart flip in his chest.
“Do you feel safer now?”
“Yeah.” She closed her eyes again. “Ah remember everythin’, sugah. Everythin’ that happened to me.”
“Do you want to talk about it? Not because you need to tell me anything, chérie.”
“Yes, Ah do.” She gnawed at her lower lip. Rain started to fall on them.
“What be de point of havin’ a weather witch for a friend if you gotta put up with bad weather at times like dis.”
“Hush, Remy. We just gotta move this indoors is all.”
“Can I do de macho boyfriend t’ing an’ carry you?” He kissed her hair.
“Alright, but no cracks about fried chicken.” She poked him in the chest.
“Of course not. You be perfect.” He stood up with a grunt, cradling her. She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. “My perfect cuddly radiator.”
“Just git us inside before we get soaked, swamp rat.”

*

Rogue sighed as he carried her. Just once it was nice to pretend she was just a little bit helpless and let him look after her. As he walked he whispered tender French words in her ear. She shivered and giggled.
“What?” He asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Nothin’. It’s jus’— I nevah know if you’re being romantic or completely filthy when you’re whisperin’ French in mah ear.” She felt the blush rise up from her neck.
“Prob’ly half an’ half, but dis time I’m jus’ tellin’ you how beautiful you are, dat you’re perfect an’ I love you. An’ you look hot in my clothes.”
“Way t’ ruin the moment, cajun.” She rolled her eyes.
“So, where would my lady like me to bring her? Do you want somet’ing t’ eat or—”
“Ah want you to bring me t’ bed.” Her face was bright red and she couldn’t look at him but she tightened her hold on him. “Right now.”
“Oh!” He stopped and held very still.
“What? Now you’re lost for words.” She ran a hand over his jaw. “Ah love you, Ah trust you an’ if Ah’m gonna be talkin’ about the past I want your arms around me, in bed. Just your arms, mind you, for the moment.” Her thumb grazed across his lower lip. He shivered. “If that’s okay with you.”
“Mon amour, I’m nevah gonna refuse an offer like that. My room or yours.”
“Yours, it’s closer.”
He carried her over to his door and fumbled with the handle. She laughed and reached down to open the door. Once over the threshold he carried her over to the bed and eased her onto the mattress. For several seconds she just looked up at him and held his hand.
“How do you wanna do dis?” His voice was rough and oh so tender.
“Ah don’t know, I’ve nevah shared a bed with anyone before.”
“Well, I’ll go an’ get changed. You pick which side you want. Do you wanna borrow some clothes or stay in those?”
“Ah’ll stay in these, since they make me look hot.” She batted her eyes at him.
“You’re gonna kill me.” He kissed her hand and stepped back. “In you git, I’ll be back in a moment.”
“What, you’re not gonna give me a show?” She grinned and folded her hands on her lap.
“Absolutely not. Behave yourself.”

Chapter Text

Part Nine

“What are you wearin’ sugar?” She watched him walk out of the bathroom. She wasn’t nervous, absolutely not. It was perfectly normal for her to pull the sheet up to her neck.
“What, you don’ like it?” Remy flexed his muscles and blew her a kiss. He was wearing a black and silver all in one suit, like a uniform. “I figure, you shouldn’ have ta be de only one completely covered up.”
“Ah’m impressed.” She rolled onto her side and watched as he climbed in. He rested his hand in the space between them. She took it. “So, here we are. Nevah thought it would happen.”
“Oh, I knew it would.” The smile slid off his face. “Jus’ so you know, I’m nervous too. The mos’ beautiful woman I’ve ever seen demands I take her to bed.”
“Ah’m not sure Ah believe that.” She placed her free hand to his chest. His heart thumped against her palm, nice and steady. “Ah’m glad Ah’m here.”
“Could I bring you a little closer, belle?” He touched her wrist then let his hand drift up her arm. She laughed and shifted over until her head was resting on his chest. His scent filled her nostrils, bourbon and cigarettes and him. And love, Her heart accelerated for a whole different reason and she felt the blush rising from her neck. “Jus’ in case you forgot, I love you.”
“Ah love you too.” Her shoulders shook a little.
“Hey, you don’ need t’ be afraid. Anytime you want me to go, jus’ say so, or if you don’ like where I’m puttin’ my hands. You be in charge right now.”
“Can I get that in writing?” She nuzzled in to him.
“Absolutely not. You’ll jus’ havta take my word as a gentleman.” He laughed and kissed her hair. “You know what? Not even I c’n say that with a straight face.”
“And Ah’m not afraid, not of you. But a girl is allowed a little stage fright the first time she invites a man to her bed. Or his bed.”
“Fair ’nough.” His hand rubbed at her neck and she could feel her muscles sigh under his touch. “Now, you wanna talk, or sleep or jus’ snuggle.”
“All three. But Ah think Ah need t’ start with talkin’.” She sucked in a deep breath. Safe, she was safe. “Ah was on a mission with Wolverine when it happened. Ah kinda insisted that Ah go. He didn’t want me to but Cyke thought it would be goof for me to get more experience, and for Wolvie t’ have a little more muscle. It shoulda been pretty straight forward.”
“But it wasn’.”
“No. We landed into the compound, jus’ flew in an’ started swingin’. They hit us wit’ some kinda ray and nest thing Ah knew Ah had collar around mah neck and they were draggin’ me inta a cell. An’ then it started. They jus’ kept comin’ in. At first it was jus’ grabbin’ and pinchin’. Then it got worse.” Her voice trembled. He tightened his arms around her. “Ah couldn’t fight them. Ah tried, but I jus’ couldn’t.”
“Amour, I know you be tough, but even Wolverine can’t fight everyone.” His voice was shaky. “I’m so sorry that happened but you hadda survive.”
“It just hurt too much. In mah head and mah body. They did things— So Ah went numb an’ just kept still. Figured— Ah figured—” She faltered. He stroked her back and hummed a gentle song. “Damn it!”
“Hey, I gotcha. You wanna stop or take a break?”
“If Ah don’ get it out now Ah think Ah’ll fall t’pieces.” She dug one hand into his suit, wrinkling the material. Her stomach twisted in knots and every instinct screamed at her to run. Instead she held on to him. “Dang it, even mah trauma has bad timin’.”
“See, dat is you all over. You don’ evah stay down. You are so strong, an I don’ mean those sexy arms of yours.”
“It’s not usually mah arms you do be starin’ at, cajun. As bad as all as it was, it wasn’t the worse thing.” She forced herself to breath over and over. He didn’t rush, didn’t ask any questions. She felt the tight band in her chest ease. “One day, they came in and grabbed my arms, forcin’ me t’ my knees. They said it was time Ah started cooperatin’ an’ earn mah keep. Course, Ah couldn’t keep quiet an’ said that anythin’ they brought near mah mouth they weren’t gonna get back.”
“An’ they hurt you, forced you.”
“Yeah, but first— they brought in a young girl. She was younger than Jubilee, maybe thirteen. She was terrified and started cryin’ for her mama.” The trembling got worse. She felt as if her whole body was about to fall apart. “They made me watch as they—”
“Amour, you don’ gotta continue if you don’ want.”
“They said, either Ah could do what they wanted, or they would make her in front of me. But if Ah was a good girl they would’t hurt her.” She held onto him and let the tears come. She sobbed and screamed. He kept hold of her. “So, Ah did what they wanted. Ah know. It was stupid, Ah know that. There was no way they weren’t gonna hurt that childe. But, Ah figured they’d already— An’ if I could stop them from touching her—”
“My beautiful hero.”
“Dang, stupid—”
“Brave, an’ wonderful.” He was crying now, she could feel the tears falling on her head. “An’ tougher than Wolverine.”
“And then I fell apart an’ had t’ be rescued. Like some kinda damsel.”
“Rogue, you be strong, but everyone needs help. An’ you saved me how many times now? More than I can count.”
“That’s not particularly impressive, since you can’t get past ten.”
“Ouch! There she is.”
“Damn it cajun, Ah wanna be strong but— Without mah powers—”
“Now, you keep sayin’ stupid things, I’m gonna have ta kiss you to shut you up. Which will also shut me up.” He cupped her chin and tilted up her head. “An’ no one talks shit about my girl, not even my girl. You hear, young lady?”
“You’re crazy, cajun. An’ right now, Ah just might let you, except for the whole coma thing.” She pursed her lips and blew him a kiss.
“Worth it.”
“Shuddup an’ hold me, swamp rat. There’s more but Ah’m not sure if Ah can go into it right now.”
“Whenever you’re ready, I’m here to listen. Or feed you gumbo. Or make you scream my name. Cause of my terrible puns, o’course.” He ran his thumb over her cheek. “Now, how ‘bout you try an’ git some sleep. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”
“Alright, but you better not snore.”

*

Light shone throught the curtains. He kept his eyes closed. There was no way it was morning yet. She shifted away from him. He cuddled up to her. Her laughter filled his ears. He opened one eye.
“Hey, where do y’ t’ink you’re goin’? It be very rude t’ run out on a man who jus’ gave you de best night of your life.” He grinned. She rolled her eyes and huffed. “Well, it be de best night of my life, anyway.”
“Ah need t’ go to the bathroom. Let go of me.” She laughed and shook her head. “Ah mean it, let go.”
“Nevah, you be stuck with me now.” He brushed her hair off her face.
“Remy, sugah, let go!” She put her hands on his chest and gave him a little push. Her stomach rumbled. He shifted away from her and rolled onto his back.
“You want breakfast?”
“Yeah. I guess you’re good for somet’ing.” She slipped into the bathroom.
He sighed and stretched out in the bed. Happiness seemed to bubble up inside him. If the rest of the thieves guild saw him now they would roll around the floor laughing. Love! He closed his eyes. His beautiful girl.
“Lazy man! You promised me breakfast.” She hit him on the head with a pillow. He grabbed it away from her and caught her around the waist. He tried to tug her back into bed but she broke away. “Remy!”
“You be no fun.”
“Coffee, right now, swamp rat, or Ah’ll abandon you for good.”
“Yes, my queen.” He kissed her on her covered shoulder. “You wanna stay here an’ I’ll bring it up?
“No, Ah need t’ face them all sometime.” Her smile faltered.
“Alright, you wanna go an’ get dressed an’ I’ll come an’ pick you up outside your door?” He twisted his fingers around her hair.
“No, Ah think Ah’ll scoot out the window. I don’ want t’ add to the gossip.” She blew him a kiss and pushed his hand away. “Ah’ll meet you down there.”
“Yes, my queen.”

*

Rogue lifted her face to the morning sun and laughed. Well, it had finally happened. The silver-tongued swamp rat had sweet talked her into bed. Her grin widened. Who was she kidding? She was most definitely the one who got him into bed. Girl power! She slipped through the open window and took off into the air.
She loved flying early in the morning, as the world was just stirring. Extending her arms she spun around and laughed. And the best thing, no one saw her sneak out. She knew there was no chance of keeping their night together quiet but she wanted to savour it for just a few minutes longer.
“Good morning, little sister.” Ororo’s gentle, laughing tone reached her. Rogue spun around, her cheeks on fire. “A perfect time for a flight. Was that Remy’s window I saw you climbing out of by any chance?”
“Ah think you need glasses ‘Ro.”
“Perhaps. See you at breakfast.”
Rogue shot off thought the air. Laughter overwhelmed her. So much for sneaking away. At least it was Ororo and not Morph. If they had seen her, they would never let her forget about it.

*

“Good morning, Gambit. How are you after last night?” Beast smiled at him. For a second Gambit felt his face heat up. He couldn’t possibly mean— “Any side effects from being knocked unconscious?”
“No, jus’ tired.” Gambit reached for the coffee. If he didn’t have it ready she would pretend to fight with him. He took out the mugs and grinned. Maybe he should pretend not to have it ready. He switched on the machine. It chugged away.
“And our resident southern belle?” Beast gave him a wide-eyed, innocent look.
“I—”
“I assume you checked up on her after she ducked out of the med lab.” Beast reached a large blue hand past him and plucked up a mug.
“Yeah, I dunno, Hank.” Why was his face glowing red? How many women had he slept with? And all they had literally done was slept. A small smile crossed his lips. He filled up the coffee pot from the machine.
“Well, I thought since she was spotted climbing out of your window this morning, you would know.” Beast whistled as he threw two slices of bread in the toaster. “Is she alright?”
“She will be, Hank. De girl be tough.”
“Oh, I know. I had no idea about any of it. If I had— Well—” Beast shuffled from foot to foot. “Anyway, just so you know, if you hurt her, I will gouge out your eyes, rip your head off your shoulders and use it as a bowling ball. Understand?”
“Oui.”
“Now, Hank, sugah.” Rogue’s beautiful drawl filled the kitchen as she slunk up behind Remy and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Ah appreciate you defendin’ mah honour, but y’all know, if the cajun evah hurts me you’ll nevah find the body.”
“Well, yes—” Hank took his glasses off and rubbed at the lenses. “How—”
“And if one person asks me how Ah am this mornin’, they’re gonna be leavin’ by the window.” She flashed Hank a dazzling smile.
“Understood, but I need you to come by the med lab later. The both of you, so I can check you’re alright.” Hank grabbed the coffee pot and poured out the black liquid. “I’ll leave you two to whatever this is.” He ambled away.
“And where is mah coffee?” She blew him a kiss and reached for the pot.
“Oh no, you don’, you jus’ go over and sit yourself down.” He leaned in to blow a kiss onto her cheek.
“Look who’s bossy this morning.” She sat down at the table and leaned her chin on her folded hands. “I met Storm on the way out of your room.”
“Yeah, Beast mentioned it.”
“This place!” She rolled her eyes. “Well, hurry up with that dang coffee. Ah can’t think until Ah’ve had a shot of the black stuff.”

*

Rogue stretched out on the grass, her head pillowed on Remy’s knee. He played with her hair. The man couldn’t keep those hands still. She closed her eyes. It would be so easy to fall asleep here and forget about everyone else in the mansion. She still had to deal with all of that. But how?
Everything was out now, all the darkness. It hurt but it felt a little less heavy. And he was still here, still holding her. She bit her lower lip.
“Hey, you okay?” Remy smoothed his hand over her forehead.
“Yeah, jus’ thinkin’ about this whole mess.” She reached up and took his hand in hers. “All the memories of what happened an’—”
“Let me help, whatever you need, mon tresor.”
“That’s the thing, Ah don’t know.” She closed her eyes and squeezed his fingers. “Ah want t’ tell ya about Eric.”
“You don’ need to.”
“Ah know, but Ah need t’ get it out. He broke into the prison and when he saw me he decided to rescue me.” She let it all tumble out, everything that had happened, all the time watching his face. “He saved me, in so many ways.”
“An’ you love him.” Remy’s tone was very gentle.
“Yes, but not like Ah love you. An’ before you say anythin, remember how you forgot to mention you almost got married to Belladonna?” Her tone was light but fear twisted her stomach. He kissed her palm and held her hand to his cheek.
“Amour, I may not like de guy, but he saved you an’— I would be a hypocrite considerin’ my past if I were to say anyt’ing to you about it. But, I guess it be strange is all. When you saw him again— I guess it brought up a lot of feelings.”
“Yeah, and not all of them good. He torturted the men who hurt me, at least some of them. The night before Ah left he had them brought in an’ he jus’ pulled them apart.” She screwed her eyes shut. “Ah’m not sayin’ they didn’t deserve t’ be punished or that I wouldn’t have done anythin’ given the chance but he terrified me, The savagery—”
“After what they did, I’m not gonna weep over them, cherie.”
“No, but— Dang it.” She punched the grass, leaving a small hole in the ground. “What do Ah do now, Remy? Ah’m just so mad at the Professor and the others. This is mah home but—”
“Mebbe we go away for a while, jus’ the two of us. A little vacation.” His voice was low, almost hypnotic. She felt the pain and anxiety flow out of her as his fingers massaged her scalp. .
“Ah don’ know, sugah. Ah still have ta face them.”
“Do you want me t’ come with you?” His hand drifted down to her neck. Who knew something so simple could be so addictive.
“Yes, please. Ah don’t know if Ah can do it on mah own.”
“You don’ have too.”

*

Rogue knocked on the door. She was tempted to just fling it open but she forced herself to suck in her anger. Remy was right behind her, his hand on her shoulder. She counted up to ten and sucked in a breath.
“Come in, Rogue.” Of course the Professor knew it was her. She opened the door and walked in. “How are you feeling?”
“Angry, but you know that.” Her hands shook. She kept them at her side. “You wiped mah mind, even though Ah begged you not too.”
“Yes, I did.” He rested back in his chair, his hands on his lap.
“What? No excuses this time?” Her hands balled into fists.
“No. I told you that I felt I had no choice. You were— I was afraid we would lose you. I had never seen anything like your psychic breakdown. Emma Frost pulled off a miracle, piecing you together but it wasn’t enough.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, but I can’t say I would do anything differently given the same circumstances.”
“An’ what stops you from crawlin’ back into mah head and makin’ me do what you want?’ Her voice rose. Gambit stepped forward, a card glowing in his hand. “Stop me from leavin’.”
“Nothing, but other than that one time, I’ve never done any of those things. You don’t trust me and I can’t say I blame you.” The Professor rubbed at the bridge of his nose.
“Ah understand, but damn it, Charles, Ah’m a person.” She forced her fingers to relax. “And y’all kept it from me. Ah’m off the team, at least for a while. Ah can’t fight alongside people Ah don’t trust.”
“I truly am sorry.” The Professor’s face was pale. She took a step forward. “Absorb me, if you want. I don’t know of any other way to explain.” He held out his hand. For a second, she thought about it. Thought of having his powers, of being able to go into any mind. She shook her head.
“No, Ah think there’s been enough of crawlin’ inta people’s minds.”
“You okay?” It was the first words Remy uttered since entering the room.
“Ah will be.” She turned back to the Professor. “Ah’m done, at least for the next few weeks. An’ Ah want y’all t’ give me space.”
“Me too,” Remy said.
“Please, Gambit, we need you.” The Professor held out his hand.
“Yeah, I don’ care.” He flipped the card in his fingers, ready to throw it. “She needs me.”
“What are your plans?” The Professor’s voice was very gentle.
“Dat be none of your business,” Remy growled.
“Ah don’t know. But wherever Ah go, it’s gonna be mah choice.” She took Remy’s hand and walked out of the room.

Chapter Text

The early morning sunlight filled the room. Remy kissed her forehead and slipped out of bed. His father was already there, he heard him come in but he would wait until Remy was ready. He pulled off the suit and rummaged around in the drawer. A small sound alerted him and he spun around. Rogue looked at him with wide eyes, her face half-covered with the sheet. He strode over and pulled it down.
“Hey, what do you t’ink you’re doin’!” He laughed at the look of indignation on her face.
“Peekin’.”
“No free shows, chérie.” He rested his hands either side of her head and bent down until he was almost kissing her.
“What? You want me to put five dollars in your g-string?”
“More like fifty, but I’ll settle for a kiss.” He pulled the sheet over her head and kissed her through it. She giggled and squirmed under him. He broke away with a sigh. “As much as I be enjoyin’ dis, I better go before he break down de door.”
“He’s here?” She sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest.
“Yup. You stay here an’ relax. He won’ stay long.” He straightened up.
“Your family is weird.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed, but kept the sheet around her. He was tempted to pull it off her but his father would not be impressed.
“Your mother is a psychopathic shapeshifter.” He reached for his clothes and paused.
“You okay, cajun?”
“Will you marry me?” He knelt on the floor and rested a hand on the bed beside her.
“That’s not funny.” She scowled.
“I be very serious. Anna, we jus’ been through hell an’ whether or not we go back to the X-Men we’re always gonna be in danger. I don’ wanna wait around.”
“Remy—” Her eyes filled with tears but she shook her head. “Dang it!”
“You haven't answered me yet.” He kept his voice very soft. He hadn’t meant to propose there and then but she looks so soft and beautiful and he couldn’t bear to wait any longer.
“Tell you what, cajun. Ah’ll consider it on two conditions.” She leaned in until her mouth almost touched his and touched his chest through the sheet. He sighed and closed his eyes. “Ask me properly and Ah’ll consider it.”
“You mean, flowers an’ moonlight an’ music?”
“Obviously.” She ran her hand over his chest. Even through the sheet the simple touch shook him.
“An’ de other condition?”
“Well—” Her hand moved lower and he groaned. “Don’ forget the coffee.” She shot up into the air pulling the sheet with her.
“Witch!”
There was a loud thumping on the door. “Remy, get your butt out here. I don’ care who you have in dat bed, we hav’ta talk.” Her father sounded furious.
“Sorry.” Remy shook his head. “Five minutes, Pére.”
“Five minutes, den I be breakin’ down dis door.”
“Damn it, I’m gonna throw him out de window if he keeps dat up.” Remy pulled on his clothes. Rogue hovered over his head, laughing.
“I heard dat, Remy,” his father said.
“You betta git out there.” Rogue landed on the carpet and walked to the bathroom. Then she paused and turned around. “Oh, and cajun, don’t forget the coffee.” She dropped the sheet and darted into the bathroom.