Chapter Text
Each and every time Cheng Xiaoshi dies, Lu Guang mourns him before diving into a photo. It’s his punishment. Lu Guang sits with his best friend’s lifeless body for hours at a time, hoping to hear one heartbeat, a signal, some sort of chance that the cycle of pain is over. Maybe, just maybe, he can finally be happy with Cheng Xiaoshi.
Lu guang never heard that heartbeat, until now.
Cheng Xiaoshi was shot, had survived, something that goes against the logic Lu Guang found in every timeline. Cheng Xiaoshi never had, NEVER survived, a fatal blow like that. The timeline had treated him so delicately that even something as small as a paper cut would end up killing Cheng Xiaoshi. It’s why Lu Guang was so overly protective of him the first few times he dove back.
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Lu Guang had once refused to let Cheng Xiaoshi go to a show with Qiao Ling.
“Please don’t go,” he sobbed, tears staining Cheng Xiaoshi’s shirt as he nuzzled his face into his shoulder.
“Ok Guangguang, I’ll stay,” Cheng Xiaoshi’s responded, putting his arms around Lu Guang.
Lu Guang wasn’t comfortable with having Cheng Xiaoshi out of his view yet. He would follow Cheng Xiaoshi like a lost puppy. Xiaoshi assumes it was the result of some sort of bad dive or nightmare. In reality, Lu Guang was trying to protect himself from the pain on his heart.
Qiao Ling got hit by a car on the way to the show. In every other timeline, Cheng Xiaoshi gets distracted and stops to get ice cream on the way, forcing the two siblings to miss the speeding car. Because of Lu Guang, Cheng Xiaoshi never stopped to get ice cream.
Their debt comes to bite them in their butt, because of course it does. Without Qiao Ling’s protection, the two are subject to a greedy landlord’s mercy; they don’t care about the sentimental value the home has, nor the recent grief the two partners are facing.
September 2nd they are given an eviction note. Cheng Xiaoshi cried all night, squealing for Qiao Ling between gasps of air.
September 3rd they pack their things. Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t speak the whole day. Lu Guang leaves him alone.
The morning of September 4th, Lu Guang finds Cheng Xiaoshi’s hanging body.
Lu Guang hugs Cheng Xiaoshi’s legs for three hours, begging him to wake up. Once his hands stop shaking, Lu Guang goes to find a photo to dive into.
Shit.. Where are the photos?
The photo studio was so disorganized due to the packing that Lu Guang had to go through the boxes for another couple hour as Xiaoshi’s lifeless body hung in the middle. Lu Guang had to watch his best friend’s fingers turn purple, his lifeless eyes roll to the back of his head.
In each and every timeline since then, Lu Guang keeps a folded up photo in his pocket. He stopped hesitating diving back after this timeline.
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Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t always die September 13th, that’s just the most common day. The earliest he’s ever died was a year before. The latest was September 20th. Lu Guang could never enjoy summer, knowing what awaited him at the end of it. In each and every timeline, Cheng Xiaoshi noticed. He always notices the small things.
“Guangguang, why such a long face? Are you that mad I’m winning,” Cheng Xiaoshi gloated as he brushed his hair back.
The black haired boy turned to Qiao Ling for her approval, but she was fast asleep.
“I’m gonna win the next game, just you wait” Lu Guang teased, forcing a smile on his face as he jumped up to serve the volleyball. One more month…
“TAKE THAT,” Cheng Xiaoshi used all the force in his thin frame to pelt the ball down. It might have been too much force, however; as he missed the court entirely and hit Qiao Ling in the face.
“Wha- What? XIAOSHI. I’m going to kill you!”
“I didn’t mean to hit your oh so beautiful face, landlady!!”
The two chased eachother in the sand, laughing as they tried tackling the other one.
Lu Guang smiled.
The very next day, Cheng Xiaoshi drowned in the ocean trying to save a little girl, left alone by her parents at the beach.
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Today is the last day at the hospital. They were scheduled to be released a week earlier, but Cheng Xiaoshi was too fidgety to let his stitches heal properly. Lu Guang basically had to hold him down to keep him from bursting his wound open.
“Lu, the first thing I’m doing when we get home is going to the court. I cannot spend another day laying in bed.”
Lu Guang looked up from his book into the grinning Cheng Xiaoshi. The light from the window reflected of his hair shifting the brown to a golden auburn. If you were to analyze his face, you’d see the faintest dimple. Despite being smaller than the pea, the dimple pulled Cheng Xiaoshi’s face together, making him look more lovable than he already was.
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Lu Guang was in love with Cheng Xiaoshi. He always has been, but only found out a few months ago, at one of Xu Shanshan’s New Year’s parties. Cheng Xiaoshi only drank on holidays because when he got drunk he was drunk. He spent the whole evening stumbling around, singing karaoke with Dong Yi.
“Luuuuu Guannggg…. I’m gonna puke,” he squeaked.
He just sighed, dragging the boy to the bathroom. Using both hands, Lu Guang brushed his hands in Cheng Xiaoshi’s dark hair before pulling it out of his friend’s face. It was disgusting and not romantic whatsoever. Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t have spent more than 3 minutes puking but the sound made it feel like eons. When he was done, Cheng Xiaoshi slowly stood up and washed his hands. Luckily, Xu Shanshan had mouth wash to cleanse that horrid stench coming from Xiaoshi’s mouth.
“I’m glad you’re in my life,” Cheng Xiaoshi said, taking Lu Guang’s hand.
“It’s ok. We all get drun-“
Cheng Xiaoshi interrupted him. “No I mean it. I don’t know why you’re still with me. You are destined for so much greatness and my bummy ass is always weighing you down. I don’t know why you’re here but I’m so happy.”
Lu Guang’s face had to be entirely red at this point. He shook himself free from Cheng Xiaoshi’s grasp. His friend had always been more emotional then Lu Guang but something about this felt so much more genuine.
Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the mourning. Maybe Lu Guang just wanted to tell Cheng Xiaoshi’s how he truly felt. So in a rare occasion, Lu Guang opened up. “You don’t weigh me down, Xiaoshi. You make me feel complete.”
Cheng Xiaoshi opened his mouth to say something with a dopey grin but instead puked all over Lu Guang. It was gross.
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That same dopey grin was staring at him now.
“You’re not allowed to go on the court until the stitches fully heal.”
Cheng Xiaoshi pouts his lip like a child.
“Guannnnggggg,” he whines.
Lu Guang goes back to staring as his book, waiting for the doctor to give the A-okay to leave. He could feel Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes on him.
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It was a week later and things were staring to go back to normal. Cheng Xiaoshi’s stitches were healing tremendously well. Qiao Ling, who Lu Guang admires for her empathy, didn’t bother them about their rent. She kept bringing home dinner, knowing the two were too stressed to cook. Cheng Xiaoshi was playing some video game a few highschool friends let him borrow while healing up. Lu Guang sat on the other end of the couch, tapping at his computer.
“Tommorow let’s bring out some halloween decor, it’ll attract customers,” Cheng Xiaoshi stated without taking his eyes off the screen.
“Are you ready for more customers?”
Cheng Xiaoshi hesitated. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, thinking.
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Lu Guang acted like he didn’t hear the nightmares. In each and every timeline, Lu Guang is forced to listen to them. Cheng Xiaoshi’s sobs, tosses and turns, begging for his parents. Whenever Lu Guang wakes him up, he is shocked by how desolate Cheng Xiaoshi is.
“Where am I?” The tears wet his face. There was a stream of mucus running down his nose.
“Cheng Xiaoshi, you are at home.” Lu Guang said. He learnt that if he said too many details, Cheng Xiaoshi would get overwhelmed and confused.
“Right … I’m Cheng Xiaoshi.. And you’re Lu Guang.”
Lu Guang let out a rare smile, he reached his hand out to brush some tears off his best friend’s face. The two stayed staring at each other in silence. Lu Guang never pushed for Cheng Xiaoshi to share his nightmares. If he wanted to talk, he would.
“Lu Guang.. uhm.” Cheng Xiaoshi’s face turnt a hue of pink. “Sorry for waking you up.”
Lu Guang’s had nightmares too. It always follows the same format. He would watch Cheng Xiaoshi die. He would fail again. Lu Guang could never explain his nightmare to Cheng Xiaoshi, so instead, the boy would just stare up at the ceiling. Eye bags began to form from how often the nightmares got.
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“Maybe I just wanted Halloween decoration, okay!”
Lu Guang snapped back into the present.
Wait.. Halloween?
He made a quick glance at the calendar and saw September 30th. There had been so much going on, Lu Guang hadn’t even been tracking the dates.
This is the longest he’s ever lived.
A new hope emerged in Lu Guang’s heart.
This is the longer Cheng Xiaoshi has lived.