Work Text:
“Why do you like him?”
“He's… kind. He's always been kind. Even when the world has not. Even when I have not.”
The first thing I remember from this world is his smile. His big, big smile. Crooked teeth and everything. But a smile so bright, so eager. I don’t even remember why. But I remember him laughing, always laughing. Without stop. I think I never saw him without a smile or a laugh. His eyes would appear even smaller, just like the moon. The stars in his cheeks were so very subdued then. But he was beautiful. He was sweet. He was kind. So kind. Kind eyes and kind cheeks and a kind smile. For everyone. Even for me.
Everyone always said Izuku was plain, but I could not disagree more. He was not your everyday beauty, claiming attention as Europe claimed the lands and the bourgeois claimed the riches. Izuku was… soft. A gentle beauty. A sensitive soul. Tender and kind. He showed it when he helped the cleaning lady everyday after lunch. How he would give up his seat on the train for a pregnant lady. How we would go to sleep late to make his mother lunch. How we would share his favorite All-Might figurine with me, even after everything.
Izuku showed the world his beauty by his actions, his selflessness, his disposition. How could anyone find him plain? With his starkissed face and moon eyes. Thousand of freckles in his cheeks. With his sunny smile and green wisps. How could he not be the prettiest? How could he not be the loveliest?
Izuku and his golden heart. Izuku and his golden smile.
How could I not find him the sweetest?
And then.
I grew up.
I was twelve and loving a boy. I was twelve and destined for greatness. Greatness beyond this school, beyond this district, beyond this town. Great and beyond him. I was twelve and thinking I had the world in the palm of my hands. And I had it. All fire and heat and fireworks. I was twelve and too proud to love him. I was twelve and too infatuated to think.I was twelve and dreamed of being with him, for him. If only he would let me. If only he would abandon his stupid idea of being great. As if he could be more great than me. Could he not see it? He was already great. Not as great as me. But great, nonetheless.
But quirkless.
Quirkless and beautiful. Quirkless and starkissed. Quirkless with moon eyes and a sunny smile.
How could he not see?
How could he not see I loved him?
How could he insist on putting himself in harm’s way?
Weak, frail, quirkless Izuku.
Pretty, stupid, brave Izuku.
My love would be worth nothing if laying in a bloodied lane.
And I would teach him his place. Besides me. Safe. Happy. Content.
He would bow one day.
I know he could be happy with me. Could he?
I know he would be happy with me. Would he?
I know it. Do I?
I was fifteen and angry. So, so angry. Why would he not listen to me? WHY?
He was quirkless, worse than scum. Could not protect himself from nobody, even the extras from school. Could not protect himself from me.
Beautiful Izuku.
Stupid, weak, frail Izuku.
Stubborn Izuku.
Deku.
Wanting to be a hero even after everybody puts him down.
Even while I put him down.
Why would he not listen to me? He should listen to me!
He needs to listen to me.
He will be killed that way. I know it.
And I will be alone again.
Why can’t he listen to me?
Making me say shit I don’t mean. Making me act this way.
Stupid, stupid Deku. Beautiful, beautiful Deku.
Just listen to me.
Just once.
ARGH.