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It was a slow and rough morning for the Deputy, Jack. His morning wasn't going well to say the least. Jack didn't know why, he assumed it was because of last night. A lot of stuff happened last night. A lot of horrible, horrible stuff happened last night.
He couldn't stop thinking about it, everything was super confusing about the events of the night before. First, Jack and his partner John saw the priest Father Gregor, along with two kids. The kids went into the patrol car they were driving while Father Gregor ran into the hospital to do God knows what.
He remembered John asking why the two kids were hanging out with the Father. He remembered the two kids saying they're doing this because they want forgiveness and want to be better for their parents. He remembered himself saying that they didn't need to be better until John cut him off with the saddest thing he ever heard John say while he looked at a picture of his daughter:
“Your parents love you kids,” John said, his voice blunt and serious. “They love you no matter what,”
“But if they love me…” Jack remembered the kid in the pumpkin costume asking this question. And that shattered his heart. “Then why are they never here?”
After that, someone knocked on the door just to try and scare them, which didn't work. After that, Jack and John heard the kids ask if they wanted to go to the bathroom. So Jack and John obliged and set them free. And that was the last time they saw either of them for the rest of that night.
Jack was still very haunted by this. He didn't know why, he just was today. He woke up, his back hurting and his neck all sweaty and gross. John was lying next to him, snoring and shaking a little bit due to how cold it was in Jack's house. Jack felt… extremely sorry for this. He didn't know why, he just did.
The house was lit up by a dark blue sky, meaning that the sun was going to rise in a few hours. And Jack could hear some birds singing soon. Usually, Jack wouldn't mind birds singing, but now he just really didn't want to hear that singing. So he just grumbled and walked over to the open windows nearby, his body aching, his movement akin to a zombie.
What the hell was wrong with his body now? Was his mental state so bad that it affected his body? This made no sense, either way, he just closed the windows slowly and then awkwardly stood there in the middle of the bedroom for a couple of long seconds.
Jack's mind must have been heavily overwhelmed now. Last night was not the only thing troubling him, it was also the nightmare he had before he woke up. He forgot about it briefly but then remembered it soon after he closed the windows.
He couldn't stop thinking about the cult. He and John have been investigating the cult for about a year now. And in that year they found out and experienced a lot of shit. John's exploding, Bob Velseb dying, and finding out he was associating with the cult, demon rumors, and priests going missing. It was a complete mess, and Jack didn't know what to think or do with that said mess.
And part of him just didn't want to deal with that mess anymore. He was tired of this place, tired of this town, hell, he was even tired of working for the mayor. Life was a depressing pile of fecal matter right now. And Jack didn't want to be a part of it for now.
But part of him knew he was wrong. Part of him knew that he had to be here. ‘Think about it, Jack thought as he went over to the couch to sit. You're the only one besides John and Patty who can put a stop to this nonsense. No one else was going to save you, not the Mayor, not the other two cops, no one but you and them are going to do anything about this problem.’
His thoughts continued, this time they were a bit harsher:
‘So that is why you should grow some fucking balls, Jack. Face it, you are now becoming nothing more than a sad, twisted bitch of a man who can't just bury his feelings and pay attention to other people. John's daughter is dead, and Patty has lost her job. What are you going through? Something childish? You're becoming nothing more than a useless piece of shit. And that's something the town doesn't need. We don't need a third Captain or Shotgun Man. We need competent officers. People like John. So get up, grow a pear, and finish what you started. Because if you don't Jack, then no one else will,’
Jack shook his head after that and turned his head to see John on their bed. John looked like he was resting pretty well. He was snoring peacefully while covered neatly in some sheets. Jack couldn't help but smile at this, he didn't know why. But Jack grew to love John, and it was the reason why they had been dating for two years now. John was an amazing guy and Jack couldn't help but love him for his kindness and loving personality. And Jack couldn't help but appreciate it. Appreciate him for being here with Jack. He wanted to make things better but sometimes he just couldn't.
“I wish I were not a mess up,” Jack said calmly. He looked solemn. While looking at it. “I really wish that. Please forgive me if I ever mistreated you, John. I promise you that,”
Jack was going to get back in bed and cuddle with John. He didn't know why, he just did. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him for hours against his chest. Jack walked closer to John for a bit, slowly but surely as he closed the distance. But before he could even do that, a sudden vibration was heard. And then…
RING! RING! RIIINNNNG!
Jack's phone was ringing, and it was ringing extremely loudly as Jack widened his eyes and immediately darted out of his room. He didn't know why, but he knew he had to leave soon and go answer it. Jack was afraid that he accidentally fucked up and let John wake up. But John was a heavy sleeper as the phone call did nothing to even make him stir.
Jack quickly dashed and opened the door, his footsteps heavy and noisy as he ran through it. After a little more dashing, he managed to run into the living room like a dumbass and crashed into the couch like a Mick Foley going through a barbed wire-covered table. Jack felt weirdly warm couch cushions hit his back as he pulled out the phone and checked to see who was calling. He thought it was going to be his parents or that candy kid who always asked for fatherly advice. But instead of that it was someone he didn't expect.
It was Patty calling him.
“Well that's weird,” Jack said as he stared at Patty's picture for a moment before sighing. “Why is she calling me this early in the morning? Isn't she cuddling with her girlfriend or something? I mean… The sun’s not even up! Oh well,”
He quickly answered the phone at the last minute and then shoved it against his ear.
“Morning, Patty. Why are you calling me so early?” Jack asked, slowly sitting up. “I thought you'd be asleep by now,”
“Jack, I just wanted to talk to you,” Patty said, her voice a little soft as she sighed. “Are you guys doing alright? I know I don't call often,”
“Yeah, we're fine,” Jack replied, lying but also not lying at the same time. “I was actually going to get some shut-eye before you decided to call. John's already passed out and I don't really want to wake him up now. How are things going at your place? I don't have much to talk about on my end.”
“Oh yesterday was kinda terrible,” Patty muttered back as she sighed. Jack heard people walking around from Patty's side of the phone and people talking as Patty continued. Jack couldn't help but feel that he knew what she was going to say next. “After work, I found out that the priest 'guiding' those kids yesterday had been harassing Lila and her son. It pissed me off so I had to confront him and tell him to leave them alone. After that I saw Lila and… she was super sad and upset. She kept blaming herself and I had to comfort her,”
“Oh no, that reminds me of John sometimes,” Jack muttered, his tone empathetic as he nodded. He could hear the underlying tone of sadness in Patty's tone as she spoke. Jack knew Patty loved Miss Lila and her son very much to the point that she wanted to move in with them. Made Jack's heart melt a bit when hearing that. “I'm so sorry about that Patty. Is she ok?”
“Yeah she is,” Patty muttered as she yawned. “I managed to get her in bed and feel better. It was hard for me because I hadn't really seen someone act this way before. Especially because it came from Lila. Lila's always so cheerful and loving that I didn't notice that she was hurting. Wish I could have been there sooner,”
“Patty, don't be so mad at yourself over such a thing!” Jack immediately said firmly but softly. He was shocked that he was even capable of saying stuff in that tone of voice. But either way, Jack wanted to say it anyway. “Look, I know you think that you could somehow predict everything your girlfriend does. But you can't, sometimes we need to realize things like this happen a lot. And it's not a bad thing. The only way to solve it is to kinda go with the flow. Besides, you have everything taken care of,”
“You do have a point,” Patty replied. She took a moment to think, letting Jack hear the sounds of Miss Lila talking to her son before Patty continued. “Thanks for telling me that, I didn't know that you could be so serious,”
“Sometimes I'm just like that when I hear you or John doubt yourself,” Jack said honestly. “John and I are fine. We just didn't do much but cuddle and then fall in afterwards. He seemed to be fine, for now,”
“Ok, that's good,” Patty said. “I thought he was going to lose it or something. I don't know why but I can't help but feel like he still blames himself for what happened to his daughter,”
“Yeah he kinda does,” Jack replied. Rubbing his head in frustration. John made Jack worry so hard when he did that. It personally made Jack just want to tell John it's ok while holding him and saying everything was ok. “He likes to keep it under wraps though. I don't know why, either, Patty. I just assume that his obsession with work and the whole cult thing made him not stop remembering it. I'm not a father though, so part of me will never understand,”
“Jack, I don't think even if you were a parent you would understand,” Patty said back with a yawn. “It's one thing to have a child. But losing one is… completely different. I can't imagine losing Skid, despite how much of a pain he could be when he went into the morgue,”
“I know I know,” Jack muttered back, looking at the floor. “But it's just a thought. I know this man more than I probably know myself. So I assumed guessing would help me understand why he acts like this y'know?”
“You shouldn't assume, as Deputy Jack,” Lightly teased Patty.
“Oh come on, not cool!” Jack said in false outrage.
“What? Just speaking facts,” Replied Patty. Jack heard a kid’s voice on the phone. He ran over and told Patty that ‘Mom wants you to help her make breakfast’ before yapping mindlessly about Spooky Month. This made Patty chuckle and go back to Jack. “Oh, sorry, Jack, I have to hang up now. Skid said that Lila wants me to help her cook. And honestly, that sounds like an amazing idea,”
“Oh ok then!” Jack said, growing a little smile on his face. Maybe today would feel better, judging by how other people were feeling right now this morning. “I won't keep you here for long then, goodbye Patty. Have a good day with your girlfriend,”
“You too Jack,” replied Patty. “You too,”
And then Patty hung up, ending the call. Jack just put the phone in a nearby armchair and grumbled to himself afterward. He was happy that Patty and Miss Lila were doing well. For all he knew, this town was chaotic and crazy most of the time. So taking a chance to relax was probably a good thing. Especially when you're a member of law enforcement.
But Jack didn't really relax, for some reason, he didn't feel happy right now. Sure, the call brought some joy and humanity into Jack for a while, but he knew it wouldn't last. And it seemed like it just died off as soon as Patty hung up.
The Deputy then just continued to sink deeper into the couch. His body was tired, and his mind was filled with thoughts of his ass getting kicked by himself in a uniquely varied collection of ways and outcomes. He could feel himself tremble as he looked at the ceiling before wondering what to do.
He knew that it would probably be extremely useless to do anything right now. He questioned if that was going to make him feel happy or get his mind off lingering on the past. And he doubted that his hobbies would even be considered hobbies. But he just said, “Fuck it” to himself and decided to try anyway. Even if it didn't work, he'd rather make an attempt instead of giving up and rotting on some couch.
He was considering going to Go Nuts for some donuts. But he realized that they were probably not even open at the time, and even then he would have wanted to go with John rather than going alone. He considered reading a novel or something after the first idea was shot down, but that didn't go as planned. Jack didn't know where any of his books were. And even then, he would assume all of them were in his bedroom, where John was passed out. And Jack didn't want to even consider bothering John at this hour.
Jack wondered why John even bothered living with him when he was thinking about reading a book. Jack thought he was a clumsy dumbass, he didn't know why John even saw him as a decent coworker, let alone a boyfriend. So he just went on another mental rant telling himself that he was a useless piece of trash again. So he just decided to quit on that as well.
He spent a few more minutes doing the same thing he did earlier this morning. He just sank down on the couch, hating himself for what he had acted like. He continued to look around a bit while doing so until Jack noticed something that he should have noticed way earlier.
Currently cramped between two couch cushions was the TV remote. It's a black, empty plastic form sticking out as Jack just stared at it all wide-eyed and shocked. He took a minute to think about it before coming to the conclusion that he should have watched some TV. I mean… It's right there, plus he could keep it quiet. So that's what he did.
He quickly pulled the remote out of its cushioned prison and immediately switched the TV on. He had to turn it down a little bit because Jesus Christ, it was super fucking loud for no reason. Jack had to go and turn it down to a volume of ten. After he got done doing that, Jack then saw what was on.
The current channel that was playing was the news. And currently, it was broadcasting reports of various property damage and bizarre bear attacks from last night. And the amount of damage it caused was ridiculous, there were damaged cars and broken bits of buildings everywhere. Jack couldn't really believe what he was seeing. Honestly, he thought it was a bunch of baloney.
“There's no way a bear caused all of this,” Jack muttered in disappointment as he switched the channel. Sure, bears are strong, but not strong enough for all of this. They can't break through concrete. This is probably fake,”
He switched from the news to the local channel that played nothing but classic movies. It was one John and Jack loved watching sometimes because it had a lot of good films. From classic westerns to disturbing horror films, it had everything for everyone and then some. Right now Jack found out that this TV channel was playing another Dude Hellsing movie for some reason. Jack found it rather weird but then just shrugged and started to watch.
The movie was a pretty entertaining one despite being rather crude at times. The story was pretty interesting and had everything you wanted from a Dude Hellsing product. It had violence, touching emotional scenes, and vampires. What more could you ask from it? Jack began to deeply enjoy it.
A solid hour passed by, and Jack was almost done watching the film. Jack's negative thoughts had begun to slowly wane a bit as he continued to view the film. For some reason, it felt oddly soothing in a way, but Jack knew that it wouldn't last long. He didn't even know if he deserved it or not.
After a while of this, Jack immediately heard footsteps. It was slow, sloppy but still loud footsteps. Jack quickly grabbed the remote and turned the TV off as soon as she heard it. He didn't really know or expect that the TV was loud enough to wake someone up. But it turned out he was wrong at that. He was so, so wrong, like always.
He got up after a minute to see who was heading into the living room. As he predicted, it turned out to be a very tired, very worn-out-looking John. The man looked extremely tired and had bags under his eyes, and he seemed to be extremely confused about why Jack was here.
John walked over and closed the distance between himself and Jack as soon as he noticed the deputy standing there. Jack only stood still like a statue once John approached him. After a while, John simply wrapped his arms around Jack, all lazily as soon as he was able to do so. Jack could only hug him back, his arms pressing John's body against his. Jack only relaxed for once in his life as he felt John's warmth gently comfort him.
“What are you doing up this early?” John muttered, his eyes gently looking up at his partner with a tired but concerned look. “You usually don't wake up that much, like at all,”
Jack just sighed and nodded, his tired eyes looking back at John before yawning and resting his chin on the top of John's head.
“I just woke up early. I think I had that same dream of that damn clown again,” Jack said softly, his tone telling John that Jack was currently self-deprecating again. “Patty called me about her girlfriend and then I just sat around on the couch for a while watching TV,”
“Oh alright,” John muttered back casually as he looked at Jack. John didn't know why, but he felt that Jack was being too on edge. Jack looked like he was trembling for a bit, and not only that. John could have felt that Jack was hurting. He knew it because he had been in that same way multiple times in his past. “Are you alright? You look like that dream really disturbed you in some way,”
“Of course it did John,” Jack muttered as he took a deep breath and exhaled. “It had a clown in it. Besides sometimes I…”
Jack shook his head and didn't finish his sentence. He didn't need to, John already knew what he was thinking by just being around him. John took a deep breath of his own and sighed. After that, John gently reached over to Jack's face and rested both of his hands against Jack's cheeks. Jack immediately just stood stiff and his cheeks became red as he looked down at John.
“Jack, you don't need to say anything or be so hard on yourself,” John said calmly and softly. “Do you want to hold me on the couch to relax? I feel like you need it and I don't want to start my day yet,”
Jack only nodded as soon as John said that. Jack and John then both silently walked over to the couch without a second thought. Jack was the one who lay down on the couch first, as he was more stressed out and he usually got it first all the time. He gently rested back on the couch again, his chest gently rising up and down as he began breathing.
John joined soon after, he crawled onto the couch and made himself comfortable. He didn't waste his time as he gently went on top of Jack and then gently rested on top of him. John rested his head against Jack's chest as he sighed and closed his eyes. Jack's face immediately grew a little pink as he saw this, he felt himself tremble a bit as he slowly wrapped his arms around John again.
Jack almost gasped when he felt John's arms wrap around Jack's neck gently and calmly. A lot of things ran through Jack's head as he felt John nuzzle against and cuddle him. His more negative side kept telling him that he didn't deserve this, that he didn't deserve to be loved. But the other side of him knew that he did deserve it. And John had this… soothing presence that Jack couldn't help but appreciate.
He didn't get it, he never did and never would. Sure, John has his problems, but now, he was just something that made Jack feel less worthless, less stupid, and less, well, Jack-like. And he appreciated every bit of it.
John slowly tilted his head up to look at Jack, his eyes slightly opened as he looked at Jack. Jack only sighed and he gently pulled John a little closer. John decided to let that happen and then eventually, their foreheads were touching together. The warmth surrounded both of them, making the whole mood feel authentic and rather heartwarming.
And then it happened, Jack felt John's moustached face gently touch his lips. And then he felt John's lips touch his. And before you knew it, the tired John was kissing Jack. Jack only kissed back, his eyes closed as he felt pure bliss happen to him. Both of them were now just doing this, showing how much they cared about each other super early in the morning.
John managed to do something that Jack didn't even expect. Out of all people, John managed to pull out the most impossible task that Jack didn't think was possible. And that was simply making him happy. Jack thought he was not going to be happy this whole morning. But like always, John proved him wrong.