Chapter 1: please tell me not to go
Chapter Text
you knew of his shared history with another. a woman who was not you. a woman he knew a lifetime ago and would wait another lifetime for.
yet something so naive within you thought it would work. that your love for him could somehow defy fate. that he would be able to choose you.
you even foolishly thought the gods of this world would favor you.
but you were wrong. because you're not her.
you were not born from the cosmos; you were not born etched into the fiber of his being - his soul.
yet the time you've spent together means everything to you. the thrill of it all - the arcade dates, the late night walks on the beach, the paintings made in your honor, posing as his muse - it was all so good.
but when she returns - makes an appearance back into his life, blinded by her beauty, by their memories, by his bond to her - it's as if the time spent with you meant absolutely nothing.
he doesn't tell you to leave, but he doesn't really ask you to stay either.
"we've been here long before"
you pretend not to mind it at first.
the way he began to pull away from you, drifting further and further away from you with every passing day since their destined reunion.
The text messages don't come as often, the phone calls less.
a time where he would stand outside your office building waiting to take you home, you find no one instead.
entering your shared home, the lights are off, the bed unmade from earlier that morning.
it's lonely.
and it eventually gets lonelier.
so, you begin packing your things from his apartment. not in full, just a t-shirt there, an artifact given to you from the ruins of lemuria here.
when he is home, it doesn't seem like he notices anyway.
"i live under your eyelids"
you're sitting on the beach where the crashing waves and moonlight reflecting on the ocean's surface keeps you grounded. it's sometime past midnight but you can't bring yourself to return to your his home.
it's been like this lately.
the silence, the loneliness.
humming to yourself on the sand, wine bottle in hand.
yet you can't find it in yourself to leave.
and he can't find it in himself to address you, to let you go.
because unaware to you, he stands a few feet away, watching you from where you sit tenderly on the shore.
he sees the way the moonlight falls upon you, the summer breeze caressing your hair.
you're as beautiful as ever.
and when he closes his tourmaline eyes that night, all he sees is you.
but you no longer see him.
"i'll always be yours"
the house is finally cleared of your belongings. each item carefully packed into a box and placed into the back seat of your car.
you leave the rest of the items given to you at some point during your time together in the guest room.
a photo album filled with pictures, a seashell necklace reflecting a lovely shade of blue.
a note written for him signed with your name.
the sound of the front door opening startles you, head turning to look towards the clock on the wall.
it was too early for him to come home, he should still be at his exhibition. he shouldn't have been home for another 3 hours.
yet when he walks in, he quickly notices. the silence, the emptiness.
how void of color his studio looked.
his eyes look for you as your hand lingers on the doorknob, but you don't turn around.
if you see his face, you'll crumble.
in your silence, he asks, "where are you going?"
your heart pounds in your chest.
your escape was supposed to be unnoticeable. you were supposed to be gone before he returned.
But you weren't, and here he was asking a question you didn't want to give the answer to.
"where are you going?" he asks again.
"somewhere you can't follow." you say, barely above a whisper.
you hear a sharp inhale coming from across the room as realization strikes him.
then suddenly, the sound of footsteps near you, his arms embracing you tightly, tenderly.
"don't-,"
he lost you way before that.
your mind is made up as you convince yourself it's best for you, but mostly for him.
because in this way, he can run to the woman he belongs to without being held back.
without the weight of your love pressing against him.
"i'll always be yours." said so quietly, he never even hears it.
"ooh, sienna would have been cute."
despite the years, your love for the ocean has never faltered.
it's a cold december morning when you find yourself sitting on the sands of whitesand bay, wrapped in a sweater you no longer remembered who it belonged to.
the clouds overhead cast a slight damper on your mood, yet when you hear the giggles of a little girl near you, you smile instantly.
you can recognize that laughter anywhere. your little sienna.
silly girl causing a commotion as she chases away the crabs on the shore.
and just like her father, she's full of curiosity, she's playful, she's full of love.
she's jumping in the ocean despite the gloomy weather and singing to her little pet goldfish as she holds him up to see the ocean in front of her.
you can't help but close your eyes for a moment as the waves wash over your feet, cleansing you.
it's when you hear her once more. her little "mommy, mommy!" causing your heart to swell.
opening your eyes, outstretching your arms, she runs into them, sunset eyes filled with tears as she explains needing your help.
so you nod, following her as her toddler hand grabs a finger, leading you further down the shoreline to an injured baby sea turtle in need of rescuing.
oh your little sienna, she looks just like rafayel.
Chapter 2: and i smile when i think of all the times we had
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
there was a time when rafayel envisioned his wedding.
his beautiful bride, decorated with the finest lemurian pearls, wearing a dress designed and sewn by his own hand.
he'd probably meet her at the altar on the beach, tears in his eyes after seeing her. and she would smile at him, take his hands in hers, and pledge his heart to her, just as he had done countless lifetimes before.
the sun would set behind them as they ride atop a fantasia shark.
but now?
he sits on the floor of his studio, surrounded by paint brushes, lights off, the wind howling with vengeance outside.
it's selfish of him - selfish to think you'd never leave him after he'd neglected you and your feelings for so long.
he had asked where you were going, but you remained silent. didn't give him an explanation.
just the faintest whisper of always being his.
and when he looked back at you, trying your best to blink back the tears he had caused, you offered a final heartfelt smile.
the clock on the wall indicates the time has passed since he watched you place the key to his home on the counter.
you hadn't uttered a single word, not even once looking back to him when he called your name one more time.
the moonlight shines through the windows, casting shadows over the sculptures he'd spent hours on - all the paintings he's started, but has left unfinished.
you're gone.
he can't quite understand why, but the thought of you never coming back nauseates him.
"i came clean, and it feels so good."
dear rafayel,
if you're reading this, thank you.
for showing me what it felt to be treasured, to be loved.
every careless laugh, every spontaneous adventure is something i'll hold dearly.
thank you for allowing me to be part of your world.
i truly hope you live your happily ever after. the sea god himself knows you've been patient enough.
i'll be cheering you on!
but also, there is one last thing i feel like you must know.
never mind.
rafayel holds the letter tucked underneath the blue seashell necklace he once tied around your neck.
his chest becomes tighter with each word written, rereading them until the sentences eventually blend together.
he tries to convince himself it really isn't a goodbye letter.
it is, he just wasn't ready to accept it.
it's short, and he can't help but wonder what you meant by the penultimate sentence, why it's scribbled out, the writing barely legible.
what did you want to say? what did you want him to know?
a low thunder rolls outside. and only does he notice a photo album lying unopened on the guest bed.
he sets the letter aside, reaching for the book where he flips to the very first page. eyes scanning through the set of photos, some he never even knew you took.
most are of him, others show the two of you together, and some candid, reminding him of your love for photography.
but one thing remains consistent: each photo is dated with handwritten captions on the back, telling a story.
he picks one from the first page, slowly reading the sentences probably never meant to be read by another soul.
9/03 - my very first exhibition is today. i hope i don't make a fool of myself when meeting my favorite artists.
9/28 - one of the artists i look up to keeps featuring at all the exhibits i attend. every time he sees me, he eyes me curiously, compliments my photography, and leaves?!
10/16 - i ran into him at a cafe in linkon after i finished my work. i wonder what he's doing in the city. oh, and coincidentally, we ordered the same drink, then without warning, he sat down at my table where we conversed for hours.
i think he's very handsome.
11/07 - the rafayel qi invited me to attend a gala! i don't really know why, but his manager, thomas, mentioned i made a good impression on him, which partially explains it, i guess.
anyway, i managed to snag a pic from the tabloids to send to mom.
12/15 - i learned rafayel likes my company? i could never tell him i enjoy his just as much, it'll get to his head.
1/29 - today rafayel dragged me to the aquarium. he didn't take no for an answer. and it wasn't until we arrived i realized there was a special exhibition of my favorite species of jellyfish. they were so beautiful, just like him.
p.s i have this bizarre theory he can communicate with them by the way they seemed to respond to his every word.
2/07 - we visited a place called verona. rafayel's hometown. he showed me around, the culture, the food, and the customs were all so enchanting. and i couldn't help but notice the way his eyes lit up in pure awe as he spoke about his childhood and his master.
03/06 - it's his birthday today! i know it's not much, but i was able to custom order a set of paintbrushes with each handle replicating his favorite shade of pink. i pray he likes it.
i'm not too sure i understand why he loves that specific color so much, but it's everywhere. in his paintings, his studio decorations, and pretty much etched into his everyday life. it must be very dear to him.
4/14 - rafayel is lemurian, like the ones from the legends. he didn't seem to want to share too much, but he did tell me he bears a lemurian bond with another.
i know i should be wary after knowing this, yet i find myself becoming more infatuated with him every passing day. he's an enigma. a puzzle i want to solve but...
04/23 - he introduced me to his aunt talia after her opera show. she's simply the most beautiful woman i've ever seen, and an even lovelier singer.
rafayel looks so much like her, i wonder how his mother looked.
5/06 - a snapshot of my plushie collection all thanks to rafayel. he likes gatekeeping the machine, though. such a sore loser.
7/15 - it's becoming rarer we go out, but today rafayel took me to a secluded beach south of whitesand bay to see the bioluminescence. the waves were so captivating, and so was he.
i couldn't help but notice his eyes seemed a little bluer tonight right before he kissed me... i wonder why.
8/01 - we went on a walk near hatt island, and he gifted me a red fish in a little container won from a fountain game. told me it was a rare species from lemuria.
we settled on the name reddie.
8/08 - i love how determined he is when it comes to work (sometimes). he's been sculpting for hours, not even taking a break to eat. he even missed our nightly stroll on the beach.
the woman he's sculpting seems oddly familiar, like i've seen her before, but i can't quite place my finger on it.
9/02 - after asking and practically begging, he finally allowed me to photograph his eyes. they remind me of the ocean, especially the colors during dawn. my favorite thing in the world
though, i don't think it's crazy to say they don't seem to only be looking at me anymore.
he notices it. the lack of photos of him as he nears the end. there are fewer captions. you were no longer documenting him, but rather, yourself.
10/29 - i adore the view of the sun meeting the sea from his studio.
i think i'll miss watching the sunset from this spot.
11/04 - the sea turtles hatched, but this year i watched their journey to the shore alone.
i seem to be alone a lot these days.
12/24 - having a baby isn't something i'd dare let myself hope for, but if it were the case, i would really love to name her sienna. and i'd hope she has his beautiful ocean eyes.
the last image is too blurred to make out, the caption too scribbled out to even make sense of the words written.
but rafayel slams the album shut, throat closing, chest aching as he relives the memories.
you loved him so much.
to the point where you documented every second spent with him, every moment lingering in your heart.
and while you recorded every fragment of your days with him, what was he doing in the meantime?
awaiting his beloved bride.
and some twisted, selfish part of him hoped that every day that passed with you, would distract him from her.
another photo, slipping through the cracks of the album, falls onto his lap.
it was dusk, his back arched into a dangerous posture, lost in the carvings of his beloved from memory. a time where he was just the god of tides waiting for his coming of age ceremony, and she was a human girl decorated in lemuria's finest pearls and silk.
he recalls you asking him if there was a backstory of the sculptured woman, he had told you it was a lemurian love story between a sea god and a human that ended in tragedy.
he told you that in her devotion, the young sea god fell in love with the human girl. the first lemurian to do so, and granted her his heart, figuratively and literally.
that the young sea god would continue to devote his entire being to loving her in every lifetime. past, present, or future. it didn't matter, because he would find her and love her.
even if everything ends in destruction, he'd always choose her.
8/10 - through every portrait he's made of me, nothing compares to the beauty of this one.
i don't think he's ever been mine. nor will i ever be his.
it was too raw, too detailed of a supposed lemurian "legend". it wasn't a bedtime story told by parents to lull their children to sleep.
you weren't that naive.
and in that silence, the truth dawned upon him.
that you had known, had stayed by choice for months after.
your love was real, even when the cost of doing so broke you.
and eventually you did.
you broke.
"see her face in the forest then it disappears."
you vanished without a trace.
your old number was disconnected, and your moments account was deactivated.
it was fair. to not want the man who broke your heart to find any way to contact you.
the months passed, and he couldn’t help but fill the void of your absence with his work, spending time with his beloved bodyguard, spending even more time in the ruins of lemuria.
and being there, surrounded by the shadows of ghosts - before destruction and death was omnipresent - he always believed lemurians were a species destined to only have one soulmate, to only share a bond with their person until death.
he's not too sure anymore.
once, he was a young man born into the role of lemuria’s last remaining sea god who foolishly fell in love with a human.
he’s lived centuries – lifetimes – waiting for their destined reunion. the sea god and his beloved bride.
and when she finally came back – when he handed her that red fish and all she did was look at him with a blank face, gifting the fish right back to him, the doubts began to creep in.
and every day after that. every mission, every hangout spent with one another, he began to question.
was he truly in love with her, or the memory of her?
his heart no longer sped up at the thought of her. he no longer blushed thinking of her smile. her habits had changed; she wasn’t shy, didn’t bite her tongue. she wasn't a leader of romirro nor was she a princess of philos waiting to be rescued.
where in her past lives she had absolutely no one, in this life she had a family taking care of her, friends who supported her, and admirers who chased after her.
so, no. she wasn’t the same person – she wasn’t his.
not in this life.
and thinking back, rafayel realizes the answer to his questions- to his doubts - finally solidified itself the night he saw you sitting on the beach humming an old lemurian lullaby he’d taught you, a glass resting in your hand, wine left undrunk.
because in that moment, all he saw was you.
and again, when the image of scattered polaroids littered all over the floor of his guest room flashed in his mind.
it had always been you.
he thought he still had you.
but now you were gone.
Notes:
i've spent a huge chunk of my teen years trying to improve my writing with drabbles and unfinished drafts, but this is the first time i've actually had the guts to post on ao3 and tumblr, so thank you for reading, i appreciate it sm :') i hope you enjot
Chapter 3: i'll watch the sunset wearing all your clothes
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
he’s finally coming to terms with this new reality.
a reality where you’re no longer in his life, you’re probably never coming back. he has to stop hoping you’ll come back.
it doesn't stop him from missing you, much less loving you.
he hears of your success in the art world from thomas, sometimes from his bodyguard. moments where hordes of fans wait in line to see your work, compliments showered for your skills, your remarkable ability to freeze time in the form of a photo.
he, for one, had thought about visiting your exhibits once or twice to see everything for himself. that is, if you hadn’t moved to skyhaven, of all places.
he still keeps your polaroids scattered throughout his home, and on nights where the silence was too loud, he'd revisit your photo album. he’d stare at each photo for hours, not only imagining how you saw the world, but how so in love with him you were.
he was so blinded by destiny – the very concept of it. it was engraved in the bond they shared; it was all he’d ever known.
and at the time, he didn’t have the heart to admit the possibility of loving you, too.
maybe even more than his beloved. but now it’s cost him.
he’s playing the role all over again, but now it's not her he longs for. it’s you.
he’s frightened at the thought of forgetting your smile – your eyes. the way you laughed, the way your warmth enveloped him on nights where the pain of losing lemuria became too overbearing.
the way your eyes sparkled like diamonds when he promised he'd watch every single sunset with you.
if he saw you now, would it be too soon? would you reject him? ignore him? pretend that he didn’t exist?
you must hate him.
he hates himself for what he did you.
“i can feel you with me like i did before."
you’re dressed in a flowing white dress by the water, looking back at him, smiling like you did before.
he sees something nestled soundly in your arms, but he can't make it out clearly. it’s too hard to distinguish from where he stands.
something in him calls to walk towards you slowly, yet he hesitates, fearing that if he gets any nearer, you’ll vanish.
maybe you’ll disappear into the ocean and escape his grasp forever. and he’ll be stuck back in the abyss.
but a few more steps in your direction, you don’t move, still keeping that soft, darling smile he’s yearned for months on your face.
and your eyes – those eyes he adores – are so full of joy. there are tears in your eyes, but they’re not from sadness.
“look rafayel.” your voice is as soft as he remembers.
his eyes follow the tender curve of your arms, and that’s when he sees her.
a baby.
a little girl.
soft waves that resemble the same shade as yours falling around her tiny face. a button nose, eyes closed, decorated in lemurian attire as if she was born already belonging to the sea.
you whisper her awake, causing her to fuss for just a moment before your gentle voice soothes her. “it’s okay, baby, mommy’s here.”
slowly, you lift her upright, turning her toward the young sea god in front of you.
she stirs for just a second, then tilts her head with curiosity so pure, as though she’s studying the figure in front of her.
and when he finally gazes upon her, eyes catching his, he feels the world stop and something in him break.
soft, round eyes that mirrored the break of dawn. where the sun meets the ocean, just like his own.
and then a smile.
she was simply love incarnated.
his heart races, each beat pounding against his ribs so hard it hurts as the realization hits him. he can’t take it, faltering to the ground, knees giving in.
fingers grasping at the end of your dress, he holds on to it as if it were a lifeline.
he locks his gaze on you. only you.
“is she-,” the lump in his throat causes his voice to break. “is she ours?”
you nod, reaching down to grab his trembling hand, guiding him back to his feet.
now standing, you rest your forehead on his, a small giggle escaping you through the tears. “yeah, she’s ours.”
his own tears spill now, the weight of it all too much to keep in after your confirmation.
heart so full, love for you fully realized, he’s ready to devote his entire being to you – the one he adores most in this lifetime.
“look sienna,” he hears you say, watching as her tiny hand instinctively curls around your finger, you guide her gaze to look at rafayel once more, “it’s daddy.”
when he wakes up, there are tears in his eyes, and his chest is in sharp pain.
looking down at the source of his pain, he sees the bond he once shared with his beloved is no longer glowing a bright red.
no.
it’s glowing a different color – your favorite color.
and it was all just a dream.
“i’ll wait here tomorrow, outside your door.”
it’s a cold december day when rafayel involuntarily finds himself walking towards the hidden area of whitesand beach, an area that belonged only to you.
he remembers how happy you were, how you clung to his arms with the brightest smile on your face as you saw the cave, the crystal clear water washing over your feet, the glittering sand that you swore held diamonds in them.
he loved how much you enjoyed the beach, the ocean, all marine life; how woven it all was into your soul.
he’d never forget the expression you made as he kissed you before dragging you underwater, not even giving you an explanation.
where you had kicked and screamed thinking he was trying to drown you, all he could do was laugh as he held your hand, venturing deeper into the ocean's depths, becoming quiet as you realized the ruins before you were those of lemuria.
your eyes had glistened when he gifted you a decorated conch shell that belonged to a priestess.
you gleamed with giggles as he commanded the fish around you to kiss your fingertips.
you were amazed at the speed of the fantasia shark you rode on and how gentle its soul was, realizing it was the very last of its kind.
he hasn’t visited this part of whitesand beach in so long. and those memories resurfacing – haunting him – don't help.
but as he nears, the crashing waves from the shore soothe him.
there was no other soul on the beach, especially not this early in the morning, and the area here is considered hidden for a reason. it’s not a place where tourists venture, nor where locals visit for some quiet time.
and yet, the laughter of a young girl confuses him.
he hears her before he sees her, saying something to the crabs she’s chasing away.
the curls on her head flow wildly with the sea breeze, and he sees she’s wearing a thick sweater wrapped around her to combat the cold, but he notices how soaked her wetsuit is near her feet, indicating that she’s been splashing through the water.
she’s attempting to reach the sand crab before it escapes her, but she’s too late as it buries itself in the sand next to rafayel’s foot.
she finally notices the man in front of her, little toddler eyes looking up to him in curiosity.
that’s when the realization sets in.
her eyes.
the same eyes from his dreams.
so familiar.
and he sees you in her.
he doesn’t want to believe it, because what if he’s wrong?
what if this is another dream, another illusion? his mind whispers to him.
“hello.” said so innocently, it breaks him out of his thoughts.
“hi baby.” he tells her, crouching down to reach her eye level. “what are you doing here all by yourself?”
she doesn’t reply, instead pointing to the crabs scattered throughout the sand.
“do you want one for yourself?” he asks her.
she nods.
he picks one off the ground, blowing off the excess sand, and hands it to her, giggling from the way it scrambles to try and escape her grasp.
“now reddie has a friend!” she says.
“reddie?”
“it’s my mommy’s fishie, i’ll show you. wait here!” the little girl runs off before he’s able to process her words.
and after a moment, she appears from the rock structure ahead of him. her smile reaching ear to ear – it’s too familiar.
standing in front of him, she holds up the fish in the small container for him to see.
a red flammula, just like the one he gifted-
“see, it’s reddie.” she breaks through his thoughts once again, her eyes capturing his own. “he likes it when i sing songs to him, wanna hear?”
he shakes his head. “i think you should take reddie back to your mom, sweetheart, you don’t want her to miss him too much, right?
she doesn’t reply, only nodding before she runs off to where she appeared from. but the itching, the desire to follow consumes him.
he can’t let himself hope too much, can’t let a few coincidences grant him hope.
after a few minutes, the little toddler doesn’t return, and in defeat, he takes a seat on the sand, watching the waves crash onto shore, thoughts racing a mile a minute.
a few minutes turn into an hour, and he remains unmoving until he hears her laughter, that same smile from before still on her face.
“mister, look!” she points behind him, he hadn’t realized a group of sea turtles were hatching, navigating their way to the sea in front of them.
“what are those? where are they going?” she asks.
he explains it to her, but he can tell through her confusion that she doesn’t understand.
not until she follows him as they journey farther down the shore, where they find an injured baby sea turtle.
it’s struggling, unable to proceed with migrating.
“why isn’t it moving? is he hurt?”
“yes.”
“is he going to die?”
“what? no!”
he turns to her, hearing her sniffles, tears already welling up in her eyes.
“hey, hey. it’s okay. we just need to help him. he’s going to be okay.”
but before he knows it, she’s run off towards the same stretch of shore as before, her tiny voice shouting.
“okay, okay, sienna. mommy’s coming, slow down a little baby.”
it’s that name. sienna.
and when he turns at the sound of your voice, the same voice he’s longed to hear since the day he let you go. your eyes meet his and something in him burns, bringing him to his knees.
and you freeze at the realization of who it is standing in front of you.
Notes:
coincidentally, a friend of mine is naming her daughter sienna because of this song, and i attended her baby shower today lol.
Aiix on Chapter 1 Wed 01 Oct 2025 08:50AM UTC
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