Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He had been there a hundred times before; Different cities, different studios, different questions, but always the same script: Entertain the host of the TV show, say something inspirational, give a little glimpse into your personal life— Cipher kept saying those worked the best to hook the crowds— and most importantly, smile.

If the price of being a world-famous musician was forced smiles and polite chatter, he could deal with it. It was easy compared to everything he had to do to get where he is now.

"Where do your songs come from, Mydeimos? What inspires them?" The host asked with a curious glint in his eyes.

"Let me think…" he pondered.

Mydei had not been handed this stage, this spotlight, this endless swarm of fans and flashing cameras.

He had paved his way into the music industry with bloodied hands and a stubborn will.

Eurypon, his father, had expected obedience. A son born to the most influential man in Castrum Kremnos was not meant to strum guitars or croon lyrics about heartbreak and love. "A Kremnoan man takes, fights, owns." The old man would say, the weight of tradition and pride dripping off every word.

Even before he reached adulthood, there was already a seat waiting for him at the top of the family's real estate empire, contracts stacked like bricks for a future he never asked for.

"My son will not be a bard" Eurypon had spat when Mydei told him about his dream— venomous words that he would never be able to forget. "It's a hobby for bards and love-struck maidens. You're not going to embarrass our family like this."

But Mydei didn't care. He didn't want his father’s so called "empire". Didn't want to rot away in meetings and lie to people for profit. Didn't wish to sit at suffocating dinners with other tycoons where his father paraded him like an heirloom. He wanted music. He wanted to write about the pain of being alive, about his own vision of love, about emotions he couldn't dare to express openly, not since his mother passed.

The arguments had grown sharper as he grew older and was close to finishing university, working for a degree he knew he'd never use. His father still believed it was a ‘rebellious streak’ at the time.

Then, the moment he was out of university, came the marriage proposals— first one, then another, always carefully chosen daughters of business partners, women with polished smiles and family wealth that would bind two dynasties tighter.

Mydei had rejected every single one.

"You need to start thinking about our family's future. This is what Gorgo would've wanted you to do." Eurypon said with cold certainty after another rejected proposal, as if playing the 'family' card on him and reminding his late mother would crush him into obedience.

That exchange ended in a verbal fight that Mydei remembered even now, half a decade later. He will never forget how he lost composure and snapped, shouting at his father with frustration for the first time in his life. 

"I don't even love women!" He tore the letter. "I never will."

The silence that followed had been deafening. His father's face had gone white as a ghost, then red with anger, then neutral, disgusted.

"You aren't my son anymore." Those five words had been the end.

Mydei left for Okhema less than a week later, leaving everything behind but his battered guitar, a notebook filled with lyrics, and a hunger to carve his own name into the world. His father hadn't asked him to stay, true to his word — the old man stopped seeing him as his son.

With hard work his wish to become recognized became true. From smoke-filled bars with barely any audience to small gigs, from rejections to sleepless nights, Mydei clawed his way upward until the world finally listened. Until the people of Amphoreus finally loved him for the songs his father had called worthless.

"My music comes from the heart" he answered smoothly, his deep voice steady and full of warmth despite the unpleasant memory. "Every song portrays something I’ve been through, emotions I hold dear to me. That's the only way it reaches people, I think. If it's honest and relatable."

The audience clapped, charmed by the sincerity of his words. "Cipher would be pleased" Mydei thought to himself. Personal insight without oversharing, just how she taught him.

Yet, behind the mask of that practiced smile, Mydei's was thinking of the one person who had never asked him to change, never demanded obedience or inheritance or a role he didn't wish to fill.

Phainon.

The man he met shortly after arriving in Okhema. Phainon was nothing more than an aviation student with a dream to fly the skies back then, but he saw the potential in Mydei’s songs and supported him wholeheartedly. It was Phainon who cheered him up after rejections, who stayed awake for him on sleepless nights— so Mydei could feel a little less lonely, and most importantly, Phainon was the one who loved him secretly for years before finally confessing, too pure for his own good to realize that Mydei felt the same, and been writing songs about him ever since they met...

"And that's a wrap!"

Mydei realized he didn’t pay attention to the host in the past minutes, too deep in his memories of blue eyes and warm smiles. Lucky for him, no one seemed to notice it or direct more questions toward him. He stood up and smiled politely at the audience, waving to them, shaking the hosts hand before he was guided to the back.

Aglaea was waiting for him in the corridor, typing something on her tablet. "Good job Mydeimos," she said, never one to praise more than needed. "I have rejected a radio appearance this weekend per your request to keep it free."

“Thanks.” He nodded. With Aglaea, chit-chat was unnecessary. She was strict and somewhat emotionless at times, but she never failed to comply with his requests, so if she said his calendar was clear—it was carved in stone.

Behind her, Cipher popped her head with a grin. Her hair was tied in a single braid for once, which Mydei assumed was Aglaea's request, or an order to be exact— this was one of the biggest TV shows across Amphoreus after all.

"That bit about writing from the heart? Trending already! And it’s been barely twenty minutes." The chaotic social-media manager tapped furiously at her phone with a grin, shoving it in his face. "Look, Mydei! Half the commentators are crying and moved by your words. The other half are convinced you were talking about a secret lover. Keep dropping lines like that and your next album will sell like hot honeycakes!"

Mydei gave her a mildly impressed look, and she returned him a cheeky grin, proud of herself. Cipher was the perfect person to handle his social media accounts— she stirred chaos, made opportunities to increase his fanbase, then turned them into profits. If not for Aglaea's stern approach, the grey-haired woman would probably start some crazy rumor just to keep his name trending 24/7.

Listening to the two women talk as they all walked to the exit, Mydei sighed heavily, exhaustion seeping through him. These shows always left him feeling hollow with how shallow they were— small talk about his latest songs, jokes that meant to get a reaction out of him, surface-level questions that never touched the music itself, even if music was the only thing that mattered to him.

"Your ride is here" Aglaea mentioned when they were nearing the backdoor exit, glancing at her tablet as if it was another task to cross off.

Cipher opened the door to make sure no fans were waiting outside. Once confirming the path was clear she poked at his shoulder, smiling teasingly at him "Make sure your boyfriend doesn't leave marks this time, Loverboy" she laughed, adding something about trying not to make a scandal either, but Mydei ignored her provoking attempts. He had learned the hard way not to bite back, or else he’d end up flustered in five minutes, or less.

Per Aglaea's words, his driver, Krateros, was already waiting for them— the old man was a Kremnoan, just like him. Krateros cared enough about him, or hated Eurypon enough to follow Mydei to Okhema and stick around like a semi-parental figure and support his career choice, insisting on being his personal driver and dealing with anything that has to do with his transportation.

Aglaea opened the car door, gesturing him inside without a word, before closing it and going to the front seat herself. Cipher leaned into the window to discuss something between them before peeling herself off the car and waving them goodbye.

Mydei leaned back against the leather seat, exhaling through his nose, and let the smile slip from his face. In the privacy of the car, behind the tinted windows, he could let his thoughts drift elsewhere — mind racing ahead to the weekend he worked his ass off to free up, so he could enjoy being lazy in his man's arms. It's been forever since Phainon got proper time off, and he was eager to spend as much of it as possible with him.

Two weeks without physically seeing his lover had stretched his patience thin, and as embarrassing as it was to admit— Mydei missed him so bad it scared him sometimes, he wasn’t used to having such intense emotions, not about another person at least.  

They did what they could to make the distance more bearable, but conversations through screens, or catching each other half-asleep at four in the morning wasn’t cutting it, leaving him distressed the longer their careers kept them apart.

But not this weekend.

This weekend was theirs to do absolutely nothing aside from snuggling in bed, preferably naked, after Phainon fu—

Mydei coughed awkwardly, willing his mind to stop conjuring inappropriate scenarios while he was, technically, still in public.

He looked at his reflection in the tinted glass instead, studying it. His face was pale, hair loose aside of the single braid he always wore, part of his signature look by now, and under his eye was a red streak of eyeliner — to match the colors of the tattoos on his body. But more than anything, he looked tired.

Mydei hoped the tiredness didn't show through the cameras earlier.

His hand grabbed his phone inside his pocket. The lock screen was blank. No messages yet.

"Phainon should've landed by now." Raising an eyebrow at the lack of messages, Mydei turned off the screen, tossing the phone on the seat next to him. "Delays are common" he had to remind himself, not letting his mood sour just yet. An extra hour or two of waiting won't make too big of a difference once he sees his partner.

Those past two weeks felt grueling, the longest they had to spend apart so far. Time stretched differently when distance was involved, every day felt longer than the last, heavier on their hearts.

Nothing could ever replace the physical closeness of his beloved.

He had counted them down, those lonely nights. Marked them off mentally against the promise Phainon had made: a week off, together. Seven days carved out of their chaotic lives to be together. To wake up and not immediately calculate the hours until another departure.

Mydei reached for the phone again, pressing his thumb against the phone's screen, willing it to light up. He refreshed the messaging app, still nothing. He didn't need constant reassurance — or so he told himself — but there was a gnawing ache he couldn't stop, both his body and mind craving for something only Phainon could give. His presence, his touch, the weight of him pressed into Mydei's chest when he held him close.

A complete opposite to how he appeared to the public— confident, cocky, unfazed by anything. If only his fans knew his true self, the one who had doubts, insecurities, and yearned embarrassingly for a certain white-haired man… They would flip.

“Cipher would love that.” Mydei chuckled to himself.

“Do not give Ciphera any funny ideas” Aglaea’s voice came from the front seat.

Sliding lower on the seat and sighing again, Mydei rested his head against the window, watched the city lights pass by, and let himself imagine the sound of a door opening— followed by the drag of a suitcase and the warm laugh he was starving for.

The rest of the ride was spent between quiet daydreaming about Phainon and exchanging small talk with Krateros, until the car slowed, turning onto his street. Mydei straightened in his seat, leaning forward as the parking gates rolled open, gaze turning instinctively to his private parking spots.

No sign of his partner's car.

His stomach sank. "It's ok, delays are common." He reminded himself again, even if it did absolutely nothing to ease the painful beat of his heart.

Aglaea spoke briskly from the passenger seat, looking at him through the car's mirror, taking his attention away from his partner momentarily.  “Ciphera will email you on Sunday if there are any public appearances before the mini tour. Get plenty of rest Mydeimos."

He exited the car, gave her a short nod and a "Thank you, Aglaea. Goodnight" watching as Krateros turned the car and drove away to drop the woman off.

Sighing for the third? Fourth? Tenth time? He lost count. Mydei fixed the strap of his guitar case. His reflection followed him across the too-shiny walls, past the dozing lobby security, and into the elevator that took him to his penthouse on the last floor.

By the time he reached the place, his anticipation had dulled into a slight buzz in the back of his mind.

The place was in the same state he left it earlier that day— Wide windows open, stretching across the living room, reflecting Okhemans' skyline. One of his guitars was still on the couch while his notebooks lay in a messy array across a low coffee table— His life, condensed into dozens of drafts— some worthy of becoming songs, some tossed in the bin.

The apartment felt too empty, too clean, not lived in enough. Mydei laughed under his breath. Of course it wouldn't, it had been almost a year of them hardly being home, ever since one of his singles broke records, making him gain popularity almost overnight, barely a few weeks after Phainon got his contract with Amphoreus Airlines. Long months that weighed on him, making him wish for the old days back—

Days where they were crammed together in a tiny apartment as roommates, laughing into the night over video games and Mydei’s homemade cooking. Or the days where they stopped dancing around each other, finally confessing their feelings, spending the nights in the other's bed, until they decided to move to a nicer place, not needing separate bedrooms anymore.

Mydei glanced once more toward the hallway as if Phainon might materialize behind him. He didn't.

He closed the door behind him, deciding that there was no point waiting, maybe by the time he showers and preps something to eat he'll hear from the man.

Steam soon filled the —too big if you ask him— bathroom. Mydei tossed his clothes on the floor and stepped under the hot water, groaning as the heat eased the soreness in his muscles. Closing his eyes, he let the water run down his face, imagining the arms of his beloved wrapping around him, the man's voice whispering “I love you” and “you look so good in my arms.” Mydei opened his eyes, frowning at himself.

“What is wrong with me?” He groaned, frustrated.

Going through his shower routine quickly, Mydei stepped outside less than five minutes later, wrapped in a towel, and leaned on the sink, studying himself in the partially foggy mirror. The world saw him as untouchable. A musician, even an idol to a degree, thanks to his face card. But here, under the shower room light— with wet blonde hair clinging to his face, the red tips of it falling down his shoulders and traces of mascara still smeared under his eyes, he looked more like a teenager who had been crying over a bad breakup.

He wasn’t sure if it was the longer separation period this time, or if he was simply exhausted, but he was never one to be needy or get his mood affected by his lover, or the lack of him to be exact. The pilot was usually the emotional one between them, seeking affirmation, begging for attention and telling Mydei how he had yet another sexual dream about him over the phone, whining that he missed him like the word ‘shame’ was something he never heard of.

Mydei decided to blame it on his busy schedule the past week, choosing to ignore his emotions for now. He proceeded with his skin care routine—the only luxury he truly allowed himself, and dressed quickly, bare feet padding across the hardwood floors to the kitchen.

He grabbed a protein bar at first, then stopped in his tracks to look at the time.

"Phainon would probably be starving when he comes home" he pondered out loud, putting the bar back and opening the fridge. He wasn’t that hungry himself, but the white-haired man always loved the food he made, his heart filling with warmth at all the memories of Phainon complimenting his cooking.

Plus, it gave him an excuse to busy himself and not stare at his phone anxiously.

Twenty minutes later, Mydei set two plates on the counter, arranging them side by side. It was a small ritual — as if by leaving one waiting, he could summon Phainon into the empty space. He poured water into two glasses as well, shaking his head at himself, but not moving to empty the second glass.

He sat down, eating slowly, phone within arm's reach.

There were still no messages.

No calls either.

Mydei's mind drifted as he chewed, thinking about Phainon's laugh, the lightheartedness of it. To the way his shoulders shook when Mydei made a face while concentrated. To nights spent tangled together, praying they won't have to separate again too soon.

He felt embarrassed at himself, he spent the majority of his evening reminiscing about his past, and mostly — about Phainon. It wasn't like him to yearn so much, perhaps the separation was to blame here and not only his busy schedule. Usually, they were away from each other for three or four days at max, and while it wasn’t easy, they somewhat managed. Mydei swallowed hard, forcing himself to finish half the plate before pushing it aside. Appetite gone. He leaned back in his chair, tapping restless fingers against the table.

“It's ok.”

“Delays were normal.”

“He would be here soon.”

An hour later, Phainon’s plate was already cold, untouched. Mydei moved to the couch, his guitar case leaning against it like an old companion. He picked it up without thinking, fingers brushing the worn case. He considered opening it, play something to calm himself down, but the melodies in his head weren't ones he wanted to share with the strings. They were Phainon's voice, Phainon's laugh, the way he used to sing off-key on purpose just to make Mydei grimace and pout…

He glanced at the clock. Nearly midnight.

Mydei reached for his phone again. Still nothing. No missed calls, no messages, no familiar name lighting up the screen.

His eyes wandered around the apartment, trying to redirect his thoughts when he caught the sight of the photograph framed on the table between all his notes— the only one he ever allowed Phainon to print and frame— In the picture, Phainon had thrown an arm around him outside of a bar in Aidonia, both of them younger, enjoying their first vacation together. Mydei was caught mid-laugh, eyes shut, leaning into the warmth of the man beside him.

That had been before. Before contracts and concerts and flights had taken too much of their lives. Before their relationship had to give its priority to their careers. Back then, a night like that felt endless. Back then, Phainon's arms held him close every morning.

He closed his eyes, pressing his thumb hard against the corner of the frame— until the pressure hurt.

The silence in the apartment didn’t help. He missed the softness of Phainon's lips on his neck when he kissed him there. The weight of his calloused hands holding Mydei steady. The soft, private tone he reserved only for him, quieter and huskier. Even the whines he found both pathetic and endearing that Phainon let when he was getting close, begging Mydei to come with him.

His chest tightened, the burn behind his eyelids increasing, followed by a lump in his throat. He rubbed his face furiously, refusing to cry over something as stupid as his boyfriend being late.

God, he missed him so badly.

He checked the time again: half past midnight. Then again, when it read one.

Still no word.

Weird.

Checking the arrivals page of the airlines eased his mind a little and confirmed his suspicion— the flight from Aidonia was marked as delayed.

Realizing there was nothing he could do but wait, Mydei grabbed his trusted notebook, deciding to pour his ache and yearning in the best way he knew— by drafting his next song. It was more efficient than sitting there and yearning like a high-schooler with a crush.

━ ⟡ ━

Mydei wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but the next thing he remembered was floating, like on a cloud, followed by hot lips pressing against his shoulder.

Then he felt warmth. A heavy, solid warmth pressed to his back, an arm draped possessively around his waist. He sank deeper into the heat, too tired to open his eyes. The couch had been cold when he was sitting there and writing, but now, it felt different.

It had to be a dream.

He must've been officially losing it to dream so vividly about Phainon. It really wasn’t like him at all, but he let the dream continue, enjoying the press of a hot palm against his chest. Broad, calloused fingers sliding beneath his shirt, making him shiver. Blunt nails traced the curve of his pecks, groping the firm flesh and flicking at his hardening nipples. It felt like reverence, worship even. A reminder that he was desired, cherished. He wanted it to be real so badly.

Mydei groaned, letting his head bury deeper into the pillow he didn't remember lying on. He could almost imagine Phainon's breath against his neck in his dreamy haze, the shape of his mouth brushing his skin, and then he didn't have to imagine it- a kiss was pressed to his shoulder, followed by another one, slower, as if savoring the moment. His lashes fluttered. Yet, he didn’t dare open his eyes, too afraid that opening them would wake him from the too good to be true dream.

“Missed you so much” a voice whispered against his skin.

Phainon’s voice.

Mydei's breath hitched. His chest ached, throat tightening painfully. He knew it wasn't real, knew his exhaustion was twisting his longing into a cruel dream, but oh... How desperately he wanted to believe this was real. He let the words wash over him, the familiar low rasp seeping straight into his yearning heart.

Strong hands roamed lower, sure and familiar, mapping his body with the kind of intimacy only one person was able to. Fingers curled at his hip, pulling his surprisingly naked lower half back against the just as naked body of his lover, and Mydei found himself thanking his mind for not conjuring any unnecessary clothing. The sensation of a hot length pressing against his inner thigh made the dream even better. He was sure he was fully dressed when he fell asleep, not that it mattered. Dreams were never logical.

"It has to be a dream." His mind repeated it over and over, even as his body betrayed him—shuddering, arching, leaning back for more, hardening in response.

The hand on his waist trailed lower now, over his thigh, then between. Mydei moaned in his sleep, heat rushing to his face. Familiar fingers wrapped around his length, stroking him slowly, applying pressure to all the right places, smearing the bead of precum that bubbled at his slit. He buried his face deeper in the pillow, trying to suppress the embarrassing sounds that kept escaping his lips.

Fuck. It had been ages since he had a dream like that.

"I know you're tired" Phainon whispered against his skin, strained with restraint. His lips brushed Mydei's ear, his cheek, his clothed shoulder. "Can’t hold back though, I missed you so much, my love."

Mydei could feel his eyes sting. He wanted to cry from how much he wanted this to be true. He wanted it to be Phainon whispering those words into his skin, Phainon's hand stroking him so tenderly, Phainon's body pressed so feverishly against his…

But Phainon wasn't home yet, he checked his phone not too long ago, and there was no update from him.

"Please—" He whispered despite himself, unsure if he said it loudly or only thought of it. "Don't let me wake up yet. Please let me keep this dream a little longer."

The hand working him picked up a faster pace, pushing him steadily toward the edge. His hips bucked forward helplessly, his thighs trembled when he felt himself almost there, just a few more strokes.

He could feel Phainon rutting between his thighs in his dream, groaning needily into the back of his neck. Mydei clutched at the arm wrapped around him, his fingers gripping tight as if holding on could make the illusion last longer.

"Phainon, please" he blamed his tired mind for begging.

Every nerve in him burned. He couldn’t hold himself together— his chest heaved, his usual restraint breaking apart, body giving away to the pleasure. It didn't take more than a few strokes before he was cumming over the palm wrapped around him, body thrumming with electric pulses of the post-orgasmic bliss.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought— no, he swore— he heard Phainon moan his name, low and rough, as he came too, sticky warmth spilling on his thighs. But Mydei refused to open his eyes. If he did, the dream would disappear, leaving him empty and aching. He wasn't ready to face reality yet, he didn't want to wake up to emptiness, to remind himself that his mind only gave him this illusion to soften the loneliness.

Yet, even after he felt his pants being tagged back up on him, what was supposed to signal the end of this too vivid dream— the weight against his back remained. Warm. Solid. He let himself sink into it, choosing to deal with his undoubtedly ruined pants in the morning.

He slept better than he did in weeks.

When light peeked through the window, Mydei turned away from it, groaning at the bothersome sun. Shit, he forgot to close the curtains last night. Still half-asleep, he opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust to the bothersome brightness.

The first thing that was strange to him was being in his bed. He knew for sure he had fallen asleep on the couch, and he was not one to sleep-walk.

The second thing that caught his eye was a head of messy white hair on the pillow next to him. As if feeling that he was awake, the man mumbled something incoherent, nuzzling further into Mydei's side, draping his arm protectively around his waist.

Mydei forgot how to breathe.

Too many questions rushing through his head at once— When? How? What time did he get back? And in the midst of all the confusion, a realization hit him, striking like lightning.

Last night wasn't a dream.

The solid weight of Phainon's body was there, pressed flush against him, their legs tangled under the blanket. His scent filled the nonexistent distance between them; sweet and faintly musky with skin and sweat.

Mydei could feel a lump form in his throat. He turned his head slowly, afraid that moving too quickly would suddenly dispel the reality. But there he was. Phainon. Sleeping right next to him, mouth slightly parted, drooling into the pillow.

Relief surged through him.

Phainon was home.

He had been here. All night. Mydei wasn't dreaming.

A shaky breath escaped him, one he didn't realize he was holding in. Mydei pressed himself closer, lips brushing Phainon's cheek. A rush of happiness flooded every nerve in his body, leaving him giddy and dizzy.

The action made Phainon stir, baby-blue eyes blinking awake. He smiled softly at him and brushed a hand through Mydei's hair. "Morning, beautiful."

"Morning" Mydei answered, his voice deeper than normal with remnants of sleep. He turned over, hiding his face in his lover's chest, asking "When did you come home?"

He could feel Phainon's grin widening as the pilot pressed a kiss to the top of his head "Too late. It was probably past three. You were sleeping on the couch and I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

Mydei hummed in response. His lips brushed against the slope of Phainon's pectorals, muttering, "You should've woken me up, have me properly. Instead of..." He grumbled, feeling heat rising to his face, not daring to look Phainon in the eye while saying it.

Phainon's laugh rumbled through his chest, sending soft vibrations to Mydei's cheek. "Really now? But you didn't seem to mind..." he trailed off with an amused chuckle "...You even begged me to keep going" his hand traced Mydei's back through the shirt.

If Mydei's face wasn't completely red until then, now it sure was. He groaned, shutting his eyes.

Gods, no, he surely didn't mind. Every touch last night was vivid enough for him to remember, and the realization that it wasn't a dream made him feel too many things at once— relief first, then a surge of happiness, and lastly a wave of arousal at the fact that he enjoyed Phainon's touch even asleep. "I missed you so much it hurt. I love you," he wanted to say these words so badly.

What left his lips instead was blunt, more of a huff than a confession. "You kept me waiting."

"I know" Phainon admitted, no excuse on his tongue, only the truth. His thumb stroked the line of Mydei's spine. "I'm here now."

The white-haired man's hand wandered lower, resting against his hip at first, then over his ass— fingers dipping under the waistband of his pants, kneading the flesh there. Mydei let out a grunt in warning, but didn't move away. The pilot was insatiable, always had been— if the already hard cock pressing insistently against his thigh was enough of an indicator. And gods help him, Mydei found himself twitching as well, body honest in its desire where his words failed.

Phainon leaned in, lips brushing his ear. "Missed you so much, missed having you in my arms" he whispered with the raw honesty Mydei only wished to have one day.

"Me too." That was all he could muster, clenching his jaw. He would never admit how much Phainon's affectionate words undid him, how badly he needed to hear those things... That he was loved, needed, desired.

He felt Phainon's other hand grab his jaw, guiding him to shift upward and look at the blue eyes he loved so much. No words were needed after that, not after Mydei saw the hunger lingering behind the sky-like color of his orbs, not after Phainon pressed his lips to his, devouring him.

Phainon kissed him like he'd been starved, tongue slipping past Mydei's lips without hesitation, and Mydei met him with the same eagerness— groaning into the kiss, determined to show that the feeling is mutual. When they finally broke for air, Mydei pressed his forehead to Phainon's, his breath hot and uneven, unable to focus on anything but the string of spit connecting their lips.

"You're impossible."

The white-haired pilot only smiled, boyish and smug. "You're saying it like you don't love it." His hand gave Mydei's ass another squeeze, followed by a playful slap, before pressing higher on his back, until they were flush against each other, their cocks pressed together between them, radiating heat through the fabric of their pants. "Don't even try to act stoic on me now, Mydeimos, not when you're just as hard."

Mydei huffed, though his hips betrayed him, rolling back against the hard length pressing to his own, head tipping back with a breathy groan. "You're—you're too sure of yourself."

"Always have been" Phainon gave his jaw a quick kiss. "At least when it comes to you."

Refusing to get emotional at his partner's words, he answered the confession in his own way. Mydei rolled them over until Phainon was on his back, and straddled him— hands braced on either side of his head. His amber eyes swept over the familiar form of Phainon's naked torso, drinking him in, memorizing every inch of skin for the next time they would have to part.

Phainon's gaze softened, hungry and adoring all at once. "Fuck, Mydei" he breathed, fingers tracing Mydei's thighs, squeezing possessively. "You're a sight. You have no idea how much I think about you when I'm away."

"You talk too much." Mydei muttered, leaning down to silence him with another kiss, biting on Phainon's lip in a warning. Enough talking. He shivered when the pilot's hands wandered across his body, tugging his shirt away before exploring every part of him they could reach- his abs, his chest, the lines of red ink. Like it was the first time he got to admire Mydei's body and not something he did every time they saw each other.

Mydei let it happen, allowed himself to be touched, to enjoy it. Touching was easier than words, easier than admitting how he almost cried over the thought of Phainon not making it to their planned time-off, how equally down bad he was for his lover.

They moved against each other unhurriedly, each grind of hips sparking heat that made them both groan with need. The texture of the fabric between them felt like too much and not enough at the same time.

Lifting his hips, Mydei quickly removed his pants, then pulled Phainon’s boxers low enough to free his cock as well. He sat back in his lover’s lap, sneaking one hand down the trail of white hair and wrapped his palm around their cocks, smearing the precum they were both leaking equally to make the friction easier.

"Slow down, please, I don't want to come yet!" Phainon begged, shutting his eyes tightly as Mydei started stroking their lengths together.

"Yet, you’re throbbing like you haven’t been touched in months." Mydei shot back, smirking.  

Phainon laughed, his voice strained with need. "Can't help it. These past weeks felt like forever without you!"

"Then stop rutting into my palm and fuck me."

"Such a demanding princess." Phainon laughed again, ignoring Mydei’s unimpressed “hmph” at the nickname. The man pried Mydei’s hand away, before pressing him flush to his chest, ass in the air, his free hand already grabbing he lube from the nightstand.

Mydei hissed when the first digit slipped inside, head dropping to rest against Phainon's shoulder, his rim clamping involuntarily around the finger.  

"Relax" the pilot whispered, rubbing his back soothingly, whispering, "Fuck, Mydei, you're always so tight for me. So perfect.”

"Don't flatter yourself" Mydei grunted, ignoring the traitorous twitch of his cock at the praise, body relaxing to accommodate the intrusion, hisses turning into muffled grunts when one finger became two, and then three— stretching him with practiced ease of someone who had been doing so for years.

When the fingers left him and the white-haired man finally pushed into him, Mydei's breath caught. He braced himself against Phainon's body, nails digging into the man's shoulders, body trembling from the delicious burn of being filled by his lover’s cock.

God, Mydei missed the feeling of being so full. The stretch burned, but it was the kind of pain he craved —the kind that reminded him he was wanted.

"Fuck" Phainon groaned, head falling back into the pillow as he bottomed out. "You feel so good. Mydei! Missed this. Missed you so much..."

Mydei bit back the words he wanted to say. Instead, he rolled his hips down until their bodies were flush, his amber eyes daring Phainon to say more. The “I love you” lingered unsaid between them.

The rhythm was slow at first, unhurried, savoring. Every thrust of Phainon into him dragged a moan, every bounce of his made the white-haired whimper and hold him closer. It wasn't frantic. It was hungry in a different way—meant to last, to stitch back the days lost to distance.

Phainon's lips found his chest, trailing the tattoos there with his lips first, then latching to a nipple greedily, reverently, as if he couldn't get enough.

"I love you" Phainon whispered between nipping and biting on the hardening bud, almost like a prayer. "I love you so much Mydeimos."

Mydei could feel the pang in his heart. "Me too—" He breathed, slamming down harder, forcing a cry out of Phainon. His body spoke what his lips couldn't.

"I love you."

The pace grew faster, steady thrusts turning into sharp ones. The room filled with the sound of skin, of breathless groans and broken curses. Mydei's hips rolled with the same eagerness to meet every thrust, back arching into Phainon's desperate touch.

"Mydei—fuck, Mydei, you're—" the pilot's lips left his nipple, words breaking off into a whine as Mydei shifted just right, clenching perfectly around him, when Phainon’s cock ground against his prostate.

"Don't stop— Ngh!" Mydei rasped, eyes shutting tight, unable to contain his moans any longer.

Phainon obeyed, pulling Mydei down until their mouths crashed again into a desperate kiss, sloppy and hungry, tongues tangling as their bodies chased the edge.

Heat coiled tight in Mydei's stomach, every nerve burning with need. He pressed their foreheads together, eyes half-lidded, gasping for breath. "Close—" he managed, the word torn from him.

"Come with me" Phainon pleaded, sliding a hand between them to stroke Mydei's neglected cock.

It didn't take much more. Mydei's body clenched hard around Phainon’s length as release tore through his body, spilling across his partner's hand and stomach. His vision blurred, legs shaking as he rode it out, Phainon's name tumbling past his lips in a rare, helpless confession, slumping bonelessly on top of his beloved.

Phainon followed a moment later, thrusting deep, groaning low into Mydei's neck as he came inside him, hands leaving his softening cock and gripping his hips hard enough to leave bruises, a welcomed addition to all the marks blooming across his chest.

Cipher would definitely tease the hell out of him on Monday.

Neither of them moved for a long while, coming down from their highs, enjoying the warmth of each other. It was Phainon who broke the silence first, smiling at him tiredly, carding through Mydei’s hair.

"I never want to leave you for more than a day again."

Mydei kissed him instead of answering, slowly this time, lingering, pouring everything he couldn't say out loud into the warmth of his mouth.

Phainon's fingers slid lower tracing lazy patterns across his back, moving along the ridges of his spine, dipping teasingly between his cheeks, where he was still buried in him, until Mydei swatted his hand away half-heartedly. "Insatiable. We have plenty of time for more later" he muttered, looking away.

"Fine, princess. Maybe after breakfast" Phainon winked at him.

Mydei groaned at the mention of the nickname, wanting to punch the smirk off Phainon’s face whenever he called him that, even if the flush on his cheeks gave away how much he secretly loved being called a princess.

He moved a little, grimacing when Phainon’s soft length slipped out of him, and propped his chin on the pilot’s chest, studying his face—messy white hair, a faint dust of freckles on his nose, lips swollen from all the kisses they shared— the look of a man who'd been starved and finally fed.

"Since you're off for the week" Mydei said casually, making sure to sound nonchalant and hide his excitement, "Is there anywhere you want to go over the weekend? We haven't gone on a date in a while."

Phainon's fingers stopped moving against Mydei's skin. "About that—" he trailed off.

Mydei's eyes narrowed. "What?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Phainon gave him a sad smile. "I only have two days. The airline wanted to cancel it altogether due to the shortage." He explained. "The usual two days is the most I could get without risking the job."

He could hear the defeat in Phainon's words.

Mydei's chest tightened. He looked away, focusing on Phainon’s choker, the sun-shaped tattoo under it, the bob of his throat when he swallowed. Anywhere but Phainon's earnest face.

His heart sank. Of course, finally having more than a few days together sounded too good to be true.

"Let's do something tomorrow morning, then?" He tried not to sound upset.

“It’s a date!” Phainon smiled, if he was aware of Mydei’s uneasiness, he said nothing.

“Yeah.”

Chapter Text

The next morning, or should he say noon, felt like bliss. Phainon was still there when Mydei opened his eyes. He didn’t wake up alone; he had not been greeted by the silence he’d grown accustomed to. For a moment, lying in the morning haze with Phainon’s hair tickling his cheek and the pilot’s arm draped heavy across his stomach— had made him emotional. Such a simple thing, and yet it was everything for him.

But simplicity was a lie, and Mydei knew it.

Their time together was short, ticking away with each drag of the damn clock’s hand, signaling the little time they had left to spend together, especially after doing nothing the day prior, if his sore hips and the dozens of bruises on his chest and thighs can count as ‘nothing’.

Mydei turned over, nuzzling into his lover's hold, hand trailing absentmindedly on the white-haired man's leather choker, the one he wore even in his sleep. It was tempting to tug on it and wake up his lover with kisses, maybe bite at the leather teasingly, mouth at the sun-shaped tattoo under it, or even better — let his hand drift lower, wake him up in a much better way…

“He’d love it. Don’t hold back” he reminded himself, confidence surging. Determined to wake up his partner in the best way possible, Mydei moved down, careful not to wake up the pilot by accident. Once he was faced with his abdomen he stopped, giving his lover a look over to make sure he did not stir.

When Phainon continued to snore softly, unaware, Mydei deemed it safe enough and pulled the man’s boxers down, freeing his soft length, and leaned closer to press a quick kiss to the sensitive head.

Phainon's cock twitched immediately, as if begging for more, followed by a quiet "...ngh..." Mydei smirked with satisfaction, enjoying the way his partner was needy even in his sleep. He opened his mouth to trace along the fattening length with his lips, blunt nails scratching idly at the patch of white hair at the base.

He wrapped his fingers around the base, feeling the heat pulse against his palm as he licked slow stripes up the shaft, drawing a breathy “M... dei...” from Phainon. Hearing his lover say his name while clearly having an erotic dream thanks to his teasing, made Mydei’s cock throb with need.

Giving the shaft a few more teasing licks, he finally wrapped his lips around the head, giving it an experimental suck. Phainon’s hips jerked immediately, followed by a sharp breath. His cock hardened quickly, filling out against Mydei’s tongue, pushing further into the wet heat of his mouth with every unconscious buck of his hips.

Phainon stirred beneath him, his breath coming out heavy, a low moan caught in his throat— the kind he sometimes made over the phone when they got off together and he tried holding back. “Mm—god—tell me I’m not dreaming this” he groaned, covering his eyes with his forearm, voice still hoarse from sleep, his mouth slack, letting out quiet whines while his hips twitched with every suck. If Mydei had to describe his lover, he’d say he looked in bliss.

“You’re not” Mydei let go of the length momentarily, then took him deeper, hollowing his cheeks, sucking him down until the tip nudged the back of his throat. The sharp curse that followed wasn’t blissful at all.

Phainon’s eyes shot open, sky-blue irises unfocused at first. He propped himself on one elbow, staring down at Mydei in disbelief. He let out a shaky exhale, smiling, and let himself fall back into the pillow. “Fuck. What a way to wake a guy up.”

Mydei hummed around him, sending vibrations down Phainon’s cock, making his breath hitch. His amber eyes looked up, sharp and amused at the reaction, before closing again, resuming his sucking with a determined pace, tongue working in deliberate strokes as his head bobbed up and down the length.

This was how he confessed his love — not with words, but through giving his all to the man he loved.

“Shit… you’re evil” the pilot groaned, one hand flying to Mydei’s hair, gripping tight in an attempt to restrain himself, though his hips rolled helplessly upward, betraying just how much he wanted it.

Smirking, Mydei pulled back only to press his tongue at the tip, savoring the slightly salty taste of his precum. “Hm, you seem to love it” he said flatly, watching the throb of Phainon's cock like it was a proof of his statement, before sinking back down and swallowing him in one smooth motion, one hand wrapping around the base to stroke what he couldn’t fit. Phainon’s size was both a blessing and a curse.

The white-haired man chuckled in response, his chuckle turning into a moan mid-way. “Of course I do. Fuck— Mydei — you’re perfect.” The hand in Mydei’s hair pushed him lower, begging him to take him all the way to the base. “I could wake up like this every morning and die a happy man.”

Heat curled through Mydei’s body at the words. He loved the praise, loved when Phainon was needy for him. He adjusted his position, shoving one hand into his pants to stroke his own hardness in rhythm, moaning around mouthful of cock.

Mydei’s vision blurred with unshed tears from the combination of his fist and the shallow thrust of hips into his mouth, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, especially when he felt Phainon get impossibly harder at the sight of him tearing up like that.

“God—don’t stop. Don’t—” The plea turned into a loud cry, cutting off as Mydei gave him another sharp suck. He relaxed his throat further and took him all the way down the base, until his nose pressed against the white patch of hair, pleased to see Phainon tremble beneath him, thighs shaking, the hand that wasn’t in his hair clutching at the sheets.

“Fuck, I’m—” Phainon’s loud moan echoed through the room. Mydei felt it immediately, his lover’s back arching off the bed as spurt after spurt of hot cum spilled out of his twitching cock and down his throat, followed by cries of “Mydei!” as He swallowed around the cock, swallowing up his release and milking him for every last drop.

Mydei followed moments later, coming into his palm with a grunt.

He let go of the still twitching cock with a wet pop, wiping the string of spit away from his lips with the back of his hand, and his own hand against the sweatpants. He then climbed back up to lie beside Phainon, as though nothing extraordinary had happened.

“Good morning.” Mydei pressed a quick kiss against his cheek.

Phainon laughed breathlessly, pulling him into a messy kiss. “Best fucking morning of my life.”

━ ⟡ ━

An hour later, they were both showered and dressed, their stomachs full with breakfast Mydei had prepared, both ready to head out and enjoy their little date together.

The Marmoreal Market in Okhema was as lively as Mydei remembered it. He didn’t visit the place as often as he’d like, not anymore— not with how frequently people stopped him for pictures or asked for autographs. With Phainon next to him though? It was worth it. He missed the smell of spices, fresh fruit and roasted vegetables. A complete contrast to the markets in Castrum Kremnos, where the scent of steel and grilled meat filled the air.

Phainon steered them through the crowds with practiced ease, weaving past a couple arguing over figs and a group of kids gathered around a street performer. He held Mydei’s hand protectively, tugging him along between stalls with a polite smile of “I’m sorry Mydeimos is busy right now” when people recognized him despite the cap and the huge sunglasses, and tried asking for autographs.

There were years when he begged to be heard. Now, he couldn’t walk a block without being recognized. The irony didn’t escape him.

“Did you drag me out here to buy more antiques?” Mydei sighed when Phainon pulled him toward a small shop that sold antique-looking trinkets, both to explore the place and take a quick break from the constant stream of people stopping them at every other step.

“Guiding” Phainon corrected, glancing back at him with a grin. “And no. You look like going out is a nuisance. Come one, Mydeimos. We’re here to enjoy the day, and it has to start with some antique appraisal!”

“I’d prefer a quiet café instead of busy streets” Mydei replied, though he allowed himself to be pulled deeper into the store. It’s not like he wasn’t enjoying spending time with Phainon, he just wasn’t fond of crowds— but Phainon’s grin was worth every second of discomfort. He’d walk through fire if it meant making his lover happy.

Mydei smiled as he watched the white-haired pilot examine a vase with expertise, muttering “Ugh, another fake one” under his breath, low enough for the store owner not to hear it. Something about the sight was endearing to him.

“A quiet café, huh?” Phainon mused, already lacing their hands back together and pulling him to the next destination, surprisingly empty-handed. "How about we grab some honeycakes?"

“Only if you’re paying” Mydei smirked.

“Sure thing — consider it a thanks for this morning, still can’t believe it was real…” Phainon trailed off with a wink, reminding Mydei of his own boldness. He coughed, thanking the gods that his sunglasses were big enough to hide most of the redness creeping up his face. It wasn’t like him to act so flustered, nor was it like him to be so bold and blow Phainon while he was sleeping.

“Love sure made one act uncharacteristically sometimes, even after years of relationship.” He pondered as Phainon ‘guided’ him —as he called it— across the market, squeezing his hand tighter and not stopping to let Mydei greet fans who called his name.

Mydei didn’t say a word until they reached a small corner diner, too busy willing his face to calm down and return to its normally stoic expression. It was only when the familiar canopy greeted them, that he managed to do just that, a fond smile curling on his lips at the infamous Poster of himself, holding a plate of steaming honeycakes; an advertisement he did when he started gaining fame—his own way to pay back the owners for all the times they accommodated Phainon and him at questionable hours, always welcoming the two.

He really loved this place.

The elderly owners greeted them with a warm smile and a “Oh, we haven’t seen you two for a while”, guiding the couple into a corner booth away from prying eyes to give them privacy, something they always did when Mydei visited— their way to thank him for promoting their business.

Mydei watched with an amused glint in his eyes as Phainon ordered two plates of honeycakes, whispering to the waitress to add an extra few for Mydei, thinking he wouldn’t hear it. When caught, Phainon grinned at him, boyish and full of charm, and rested his bigger hand on top of Mydei’s, giving it a gentle squeeze — like it was impossible for him to go five seconds without physical affection, and he found himself melting into the touch, interlacing their fingers together, squeezing back.

“Mydei!!!” He ignored the dramatic gasp, but wasn’t immune to the —too bright— smile Phainon gave him, warmth spreading in his chest.

The plates arrived not long after, stacked high with golden honeycakes, butter melting down the sides, syrup pooling on the plate. Just the scent alone was enough to make Mydei’s sweet tooth sing happily, though he would never admit it out loud.

Phainon, on the other hand, made no effort to hide his excitement. “Fuck, I missed these! This place serves the best ones I swear!” He exclaimed, cutting a piece of the spongy dessert and shoving it into his mouth before the waitress had even set down Mydei’s plate.

“You’re embarrassing. Where are your manners?” Mydei muttered, though his lips curved into a smile around his fork, as he savored the first bite of the sweet treat.

“Embarrassingly right, you mean.” Phainon reached across the table without hesitation, cutting into his stack and stealing a bite.

Amber eyes narrowed at him. “You asked for more honeycakes on my plate so you could steal them?”

“Yours always tastes better” Phainon said mid-chewing, entirely unrepentant. “Must be because you’re so sweet.”

“Must be your lack of shame.”

Phainon grinned, leaning forward like he was about to whisper a juicy gossip, his hand still resting over Mydei’s on the table. “Shame has nothing to do with how sweet you are.”

“Haikas...” Mydei muttered in native Kremnoan, looking away. There was only so much of Phainon’s sappiness he could handle without risking his face to become permanently flushed.

They continued talking between bites, Mydei shared details about his upcoming mini-tour, while Phainon added quips of his own — sharing about the latest stories Castorice, the in-flight service manager who usually accompanied him experienced during their long flights. Like the one time someone thought the cabin crew was their unruly child’s babysitters, or the time her girlfriend called in sick just to fly her route and bother her for the entire flight. Somehow the second story felt oddly familiar to Mydei, but he couldn't pinpoint where he had heard it before.

Bickering and laughing with Phainon was easy, dangerously so. Mydei found himself relaxing despite the gnawing reminder of the clock in his chest, letting Phainon’s voice fill the cracks. He knew that he shouldn’t be thinking about how their time together was cut short, shouldn’t let the dread pool in his stomach like this— thinking of how each passing minute brought another, too long separation closer and closer.

The sweetness on his tongue was soured by the thought of how temporary this joy was. Every laughter, every brush of fingers, every shared smile— felt like sand slipping through his hands. He used to be better than this. Mydei was steady, unshaken, not the type to cling to another person like that. He wasn’t a needy man for god’s sake.

Yet, with Phainon, he was. Almost to the point of not recognizing himself sometimes. The white-haired man brought out his vulnerable side too easily, no matter how much Mydei hated being vulnerable— considering it a weakness. Despite that belief, he still made the effort to show Phainon his true self more and more throughout their years together, opening up to the man he saw his future with.

“We should visit here more frequently. Like old times.” Phainon cut his unpleasant train of thought.

“Old times?”

“You know—when I was drowning in exams, and you were some broody no-name.” Phainon bumped his knee against his under the table. “Back before you got all famous on me and I didn’t have to share you with the rest of the world.”

“Broody?” Mydei gave him a flat look, unimpressed with the title.

“No. You’re right. You were worse than broody. You were edgy.”

“And you weren’t?”

Phainon grinned. “I was radiant. Exhausted, but radiant.”

The word radiant suited him far too well. He was, Phainon really was a ray of sunshine even back then, when he cried over textbooks and airplane manuals. Mydei remembered exactly what Phainon was referring to — the first time he dragged him to this exact diner.

━ ⟡ ━

Back then, Phainon was indeed exhausted. With heavy bags under his eyes, Phainon was sitting in their living room, surrounded by too many notes and books, looking like he was on the verge of crying from frustration. And Mydei, who was never good with words, had acted on a whim.

He grabbed Phainon’s arm and declared “Come with me. You need a break.” No explanation. No room to argue. He pulled Phainon through the empty market and into the one diner that was still open, ordering a large plate of honeycakes for them to split, even though he could barely afford it.

Mydei remembered Phainon’s reaction that night —eyes wide and wet, like he couldn’t believe his roommate was capable of showing kindness, only to start actually crying once he took a bite of the sweet treat, tension easing off his shoulders. Mydei teased him about being a crybaby for years after. He still does.

Looking back now, it was obvious— more than obvious. The way Phainon smiled at him between bites, the way he leaned against his shoulder as they walked, bickering about nothing important. They danced around each other like idiots, too dense to name what was already there— their feelings for each other were mutual from the start.

“Slow down, you’re getting syrup everywhere” Mydei sighed tiredly, watching the sugary mix drip off the corner of Phainon’s mouth. He had to fold his hands on his chest to restrain himself from reaching out and wiping it away with his thumb.

“Don’t care” Phainon said around a mouthful, eyes still watery. “This is divine. Fuck, where has this been my entire life?”

“Here. Ten minutes from our apartment. You should’ve known about this place with how much time you spend here buying useless junk.”

“Rude. My antiques aren’t useless!” Phainon retorted defensively. “I bring light to your gloomy existence, and this is the thanks I get? Calling my beautiful collection useless?”

“Light? You’re loud, you think yellow and purple is a good color combo, and you sing off-key in the shower. The only thing you bring to my life is a headache.”

“Correction: I sing beautifully while I shower, and the color combo isn’t even that bad.”

“My roommate is both tone-deaf and blind. How tragic.” Mydei smirked. Provoking Phainon on purpose.

“Harsh.” The white-haired man pouted “Admit it, you’ll miss me if I'm gone.”

Mydei didn’t answer. Couldn’t. The words would’ve given too much of his feelings away, feelings he didn’t think were mutual back then. Instead, he shoved the rest of the honeycakes into his mouth, unable to hold in the satisfied sigh as the sugar melted on his tongue.

“And you claim you have no sweet tooth, huh? Could’ve fooled me.” Phainon grinned, syrup still smudged on his chin, laughter bubbling in his throat.

"Shut up. “He grumbled, but there was no bite to it. Despite his harsh-seeming words, Mydei remembered thinking— not for the first time— that he’d do anything to keep Phainon smiling like this for the rest of his life.

━ ⟡ ━

The memory made him laugh under his breath, a laugh that didn’t go unnoticed by Phainon.

“What’s funny?” The pilot asked, curious.

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

Mydei gave him a long look, a smirk tugging at his lips “About how dense you were.”

“Dense? Me?” Phainon’s jaw dropped, sputtering, syrup dripping down the corner of his mouth just like in the memory.

The smirk on Mydei's lips grew bigger. He reached toward Phainon, allowing himself to do what he wanted to in his memory, and swiped his thumb across Phainon's bottom lip— gathering the syrup there before bringing the finger back to his mouth, licking it clean, muttering quietly as he did, “and how effortlessly charming you still are.”

He could see the flush rising on Phainon’s face at the public display of affection. Mydei tucked the sight in his memory, claiming it as a small victory and payback at Phainon for flustering him earlier with his sappy remarks.

They kept strolling around the market after finishing their honeycakes, hiding in small stores to avoid fans and too big crowds, and soon— too soon— the sun started setting, signaling the dreaded end of their day together.

Mydei hated the way each step they took toward their shared apartment felt like a countdown. He tried to ignore it all afternoon, but now, with the day almost over, it was harder to hold back from scowling.

Phainon noticed, of course he did. The pilot was just as preceptive after all. His hand tugged lightly at Mydei’s, pulling him closer until they were standing in a semi-hug, hidden in a small alley. “Hey,” he murmured. "You’re scowling. What’s wrong?”

“I’m not scowling.”

“Yes you are” Phainon chuckled, lifting Mydei's glasses to see his face clearly. “It’s your natural state. People breathe. You scowl.”

He leaned in closer, brushing his lips against Mydei’s. “I know it’s not the week off that we planned, but we had a good day, didn’t we? Ate the best honeycakes in the city, spent the day together, bought lots of new decorations” he lifted the bags in his free hand, “and not to mention—” Phainon turned to whisper in his ear. “Had a very pleasant morning.”

He smiled at Mydei, but Mydei could see how it didn’t reach his eyes. There he was again, ruining the mood. The thought was enough to break something loose in his chest. He forced a small exhale that might’ve passed for a chuckle, shaking his head.

“You’re not going to move on from this morning for months, aren’t you? Unbelievable.”

“That’s better. You’re so handsome when you laugh” Phainon pressed another kiss to his lips, as though to seal the moment. “And for the record. No. I will not move on from it until you do that again.”

“Keep acting like this and there wouldn’t be a next time.” Mydei adjusted his sunglasses back on his face with a quiet ‘hmph.’

He had made his decision. He wasn’t going to ruin the day for his partner. Not with his bitterness. If this was all the time they got— an evening, an hour, whatever scraps they got— He wouldn’t weigh Phainon down with his weakness, he would give his partner nothing but warmth and ensure that he returned to his job with good memories and a smile on his face, the one smile he swore to protect.

Mydei could always pour his emotions into his songs later. Or into his trusted punching bag at the gym. Both options did the job.

By the time they reached the apartment, Mydei’s neutral façade was back up, even when he saw Phainon’s empty suitcase on the couch, staring at them with mockery.

“Do not let Phainon see that you’re upset” he had to remind himself, opting to offer his help with packing instead. It sounded more effective than brooding anyway.

Phainon grimaced at the reminder. “Right. Packing.”

He said it lightly, as if it were nothing more than another chore, but Mydei saw through the act. Phainon wore his heart on his sleeve, and it looked like he wasn’t happy about the impending separation either. Knowing that was easier in a way. He wasn’t the only one who waited to see his lover, to spend time together. The mutuality was surprisingly soothing.

“Pass me the clothes you’re planning to take. And don’t you dare to pack that horrible yellow shirt.” Mydei said, already folding a few pairs of socks into the corner.

"There" Phainon joined him a moment later with a pile of clothes, and was it the shirt he wore the past two nights?

Mydei raised a questioning eyebrow, but still folded the shirt, seeing his sleeping pants— the ones he tossed into the laundry basket after the previous day’s activities— in the pile as well.

“Don’t give me that look Mydeimos!” Phainon pouted too dramatically to be taken seriously. “It’s for emotional support on lonely nights!”

“Make sure to clean it before coming home, pervert.” Mydei grumbled, picking out Phainon’s own pajamas from the pile, tossing them back on the bed “and I’ll be keeping these. For the same reason.” He gave Phainon a challenging smirk.

The gasp that tore from Phainon’s lips was nothing short of theatrical, exaggerated, and if not the heated look in the man’s eyes, Mydei would’ve thought he was just teasing back “Mydei! You can’t say things like that and not expect me to get excited—”

Before he could even process what the white-haired man was saying, he was already being tagged up and taken toward the bathroom.

“We don’t have much time and we still need a shower. How about we make things more efficient?”

Mydei sighed, half-heartedly, and let himself be pulled to what he knew was definitely not a shower. “You’re Insatiable.”

“Don’t say it like it’s a bad thing, you love it.”

He did. God help him, he did. Be it the sex or the man, he loved both.

Like Mydei had expected, showering was supposed to be quick in theory, but not in practice. What started as washing turned quickly into touching, then groping, and soon enough instead of cleaning, they were tangled together, holding, nipping, marking, savoring the last bits of time they still had.

The first round left them panting, pressed close under the water. Phainon nipped at the red ink on his shoulder, still inside him, and Mydei made the mistake of tugging at his wet hair, pulling Phainon into a kiss, which led to a second round. By the third, Mydei’s legs were barely holding him, a myriad of new marks adorned his skin, hips tender from how hard the pilot’s hands were grabbing them. He let himself get lost in it anyway— the heat of skin against skin, the rasp of Phainon’s voice in his ear as he filled him again, crying his name like a prayer, like he didn't want it to end.

When they finally got out of the shower, three, and a half, rounds later— Since a certain pilot couldn’t keep his hands off of him— Mydei knew he would be feeling it the next day, perhaps longer. The added soreness in his hips would be a physical reminder of their reunion, and he welcomed it.

They fell onto the bed, wet-haired, the suitcase still half-packed and waiting on the couch. Phainon ignored it, choosing to sprawl on top of Mydei, his weight better than any blanket.

Mydei stared at the ceiling, fingers carding absently through wet snowy hair. He reminded himself not to spoil this with dread. Not now. Not when Phainon’s heartbeat pressed steady against his side. He pressed a kiss to the crown of his lover’s head.

“It was a good day, I’m glad we spent it together like this.” He whispered, allowing himself to show a bit of vulnerability in the way his voice broke at the end.

He could feel Phainon beaming even if the man’s face was hidden in his pectorals.

About thirty minutes later, the suitcase was zipped, Phainon was looking stupidly attractive in his uniform, that Mydei had a hard time prying his hand off the man. Something about the fashion disaster of a man he dated looking so polished made his too spent cock twitch with renewed interest. Alas, there was no time for more fooling around. Mydei adjusted the collar of the pilot’s dress shirt and fixed the tie, ushering him out before he gave in to the urge to drop on his knees and—

“You’re becoming just as insatiable.” He groaned mentally at himself.

The car ride to the airport was too short for Mydei’s liking. He was hoping for traffic. Red lights. A storm to ground the flights. Anything to stretch out the minutes. Instead, the roads were clear and the weather perfect, much to his disappointment. Phainon’s hand was resting on top of his over the gear, thumb brushing against his knuckles like he could soothe away the pain already pooling in Mydei’s stomach.

They parted by the crew security check point at the terminal, in the privacy of the “employee only” area Mydei didn’t need to hide from possible fans. Phainon leaned closer to him with a grin that looked too easy to be real.

“I’ll miss you” he murmured, dragging the words out with a whine and a pout. Mydei could see his metaphorical puppy ears dropping flat.

“You’ll survive.” Mydei hummed back with a chuckle, keeping up with the tough façade. Every fiber in him wanted to beg him to stay, just this once, to be selfish, to ditch work. But he didn’t. Couldn’t ask for something so unreasonable. He needed to wear a happy mask and send Phainon off with a smile. He could be upset about it later, alone.

For Phainon, to make it easier for his beloved.

“Maybe” Phainon said, leaning even closer, his nose brushing against Mydei’s cheek. “But I don’t want to. A few days without you feel like eternity.”

Phainon's raw honesty caught him off guard. Mydei swallowed, tried to keep his voice steady. “How long will you be gone this time?”

The pilot hesitated, then gave a small shrug. “Less than a week, I hope. They can’t keep me for more than six days straight unless there’s an emergency, but—”

Always 'but'.

Mydei forced the question anyway. “Will you make it to the concert in Kremnos?” His throat tightened around the last word. That city was a wound he hadn’t touched in half a decade, and now he was expected to bare it open again in front of a crowd. The thought of doing it alone, without Phainon by his side, felt unbearable.

Phainon’s smile softened, gentle, almost guilty. “I’ll make it. Unless they change my scheduled flight, I’ll be there Thursday noon.”

They both knew it was probably a lie. Airline schedules were always changed last minute, especially since the shortage of pilots, but Mydei let himself believe his lover's words. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

He reached forward, hooked two fingers under Phainon’s choker, and pulled Phainon into his arms. Mydei buried his face into the pilot’s neck, breathing him in, memorizing the smell of his cologne and the musk of his skin, unwilling to let go. Phainon laughed softly into his ear, arms looping around him in return, but the sound was strained.

“Please do that again in bed, this was so stupidly hot, Mydeimos” the pilot groaned quietly, teasing, before adding a quiet “I don’t want to go.”

“Then don’t. Stay with me for longer.” Mydei whispered before he could stop himself. It was childish, selfish, but spoken from the bottom of his heart. A rare moment of true vulnerability that he couldn’t suppress.

Phainon pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes glossy already. “I wish! But you know I have to…”

“I know.” Mydei hated that he did.

Phainon’s grin wavered, but he forced it back into place, trying to lighten the air. “Don’t worry though, we’ll see each other in a few days. Besides, if I’m gone too long, some fan will sweep you off your feet while I’m away—”

“That will never happen.” Mydei’s tone was sharper than he meant, unable to joke about it. “Don’t think of such ridiculous things.”

The pilot looked surprised by the sudden harshness, but his grin softened into a soft smile, no trace of teasing this time. Phainon leaned forward and kissed him softly— desperate to savor the moment. “I’ll miss you so fucking much.”

“You already said that” Mydei muttered once the kiss broke, leaving the “I’ll miss you too” unsaid. Not wanting his partner to be pained by their parting more than he already was, not after slipping once earlier and asking him to stay.

“And I’ll say it again” Phainon pressed another kiss to his lips, his cheek, his jaw, greedy for every second they had left. “And again. And again. Until you believe me.”

“I do.” Mydei closed his eyes, giving Phainon one last kiss, before forcing himself to let go. He let him walk toward the gate, let him disappear into the crowd of passengers at the security screening, waving back every time the pilot turned to wave at him, until it was just him standing there.

Aching.

Allowing a single tear to slide down his cheek.

━ ⟡ ━

As per Aglaea’s words, Cipher messaged him on Sunday evening, right around the time he left the building’s gym, not amused that he had to skip any leg workout thanks to Phainon and his impossible stamina.

Cipher [19:10]: your ass better not be too sore Loverboy! Aglaea wants you to rest til the flight to Kremnos, so you better be doing plenty of that

Cipher [19:14]: But she did say to make sure you arent neglecting your self care either. Your vocal cords need to be in shape before the concert!

Cipher [19:14]: in other words... dont have too much fun in bed. heh~

Followed by a message from Aglaea.

Aglaea- Manager [19:15]: Rest well Mydeimos, make sure you’re prepared for the concert. Kreteros will pick you up on Thursday at 5:30 A.M.

Rest well.

Rest.

As if it were that simple.

He replied to both, tossing his phone to the couch once he entered the apartment. The place was quiet, far too quiet, and Mydei found himself wishing for Phainon’s voice to fill it with his anecdotes and embarrassing jokes. Even the pilot’s terrible singing was better than being left alone with his thoughts.

Refusing to dwell on it too much, Mydei opened his guitar case. He could use the free time to focus on writing and channel his emotions into something productive.

He refused to dwell on it for the rest of the week, opting to drown himself in music, working out, and embracing the moments when Phainon called him between flights, even if it meant staying up all night for him.

By Thursday morning, he was back at the airport, small suitcase in tow. Aglaea and Cipher were already waiting by the gate to his private jet. They greeted him with professional smiles, but Mydei caught the way Aglaea’s eyes scanned him, always assessing. Cipher handed him a cup of steaming coffee with a carefree smile, updating him on the latest spikes in sales post his last week's TV appearance and how all tickets for the mini tour were completely sold out.

Mydei thanked her earnestly. The gray-haired woman always did an amazing job when it came to profits, allowing him to harbor more money than he'll ever need in his bank accounts. Even after she took a hefty percentage out of it.

“Mydeimos, have you considered the option of extending the tour? Venues are interested in hosting you, and since all current tickets sold out it is a well-timed opportunity.” Aglaea caught his attention once they sat down in the small yet luxurious jet.

“You know I’m not interested in being away from home for too long.”

“I’m well aware, yet your preference is sabotaging your growth. People are waiting for more appearances, for more of you.” He knew her intention was good, but it angered him nonetheless.

Mydei felt his jaw tighten, his voice rising “Aglaea, we have discussed this. I will take the blow for the sake of my personal relationship. Unlike you—” He stopped himself, “I apologize. It was unprofessional of me, but my decision is final.”

“Very well then, I’ll respect that. Perhaps another short tour in the near future then. The demand is high.” Aglaea resigned, accepting his apology.

“Gladly. As long as it's not longer than this one.” He was not willing to spend more than a week away. His career was already demanding, and Mydei refused to let it strain his relationship too, although in a way, it already had. Both Phainon and he sacrificed so much to make things work.

He thought about her words through the wait and taxi, and only once the jet took off, he let his mind wander to another thought— the first destination of the tour.

Returning to Kremnos was harder than Mydei thought. The city-state was a nasty scar for him, full of expectations he didn't wish and the scorn of his father. He wondered if things would’ve played differently if his mother was still alive, if she would support his path or insist— just like his father — that he should take over the family business.

“Are you alright?” Krateros broke the silence. The discomfort must’ve been written all over his face if even the old man noticed it.

“I am.”

A lie.

“You’re strong.” He spoke again, scratching his beard in a search for better words. “Don’t let your father’s mistakes weigh on you, you’re here to prove how far you’ve come despite his lack of belief in you.”

Mydei turned his head to look at him, ready to lie again, tell him not to worry about him, but Krateros kept talking, smiling kindly as he looked out of the window.

“I’m sure Gorgo is watching over you proudly, humming your songs in the skies.”

All words left him at the mention of her. His mother’s name was rarely spoken, especially by the old man. Krateros known her better than Mydei ever did, stood beside her, cared for her— always loyal, always there where his father wasn’t. It was the kind of devotion Mydei couldn’t deny. Krateros had been his mother’s friend, her shield —and now he turned that shield on Mydei, watching over him as if it was her last wish.

“Thank you.” Mydei managed, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

He looked back out the window as the jet was landing, looking down at the tiny streets that had once been home, and felt the ache of two absences: his mother's and Phainon's empty seat beside him.

Luckily for him, his schedule was too busy to allow any dwelling. They didn’t even stop by the hotel to leave their personal belongings, driving straight to the venue from the airport to check the equipment and rehearse for the concert, or as Aglaea claimed: “It’s the first concert in a while. We cannot allow mistakes or be unprepared.”

Mydei’s anxiousness and yearning were drowned by technicians shouting from across the stage, lights flickering in and out as they tested the rigs, and the sound crew plugging his electric guitar into the speakers, guiding him to play a tune.

His guitar rang once through the empty venue.

He hadn’t realized how hard he was gripping the instrument until his phone rang in his back pocket. Mydei pulled it free with a practiced motion, surprised to see the name on the screen.

Phainon.

He pressed it to his ear so fast the earbud’s cord tugged at his jacket. “Phainon? Aren’t you mid-flight?”

“Mydei!!!” The pilot’s voice came excitedly through the speaker, full of warmth that spread in his chest. “My flight got delayed a bit, but I should make it to your concert! I will be a little late though.”

Relief hit Mydei so hard he felt like his knees might give in. He closed his eyes, the tension in his chest loosening.

“You’ll make it?” His voice was low, almost disbelieving.

“Of course. I promised you I would!” There was laughter in Phainon’s tone, soft and genuine. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Mydei felt the tension leave him immediately. He wanted to confess how much he held to the promise, how overwhelming it felt knowing he was in the city-state he had run away from many years ago. How he was still afraid to face his father. “You don’t know how much this means to me.” It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say, but it got the message across.

“I do” He could feel Phainon smiling on the other side of the line. “Trust me, I do. Just— don’t panic if you don’t see me right away, alright? I’ll get there, even if it’s going to be for the last song.”

One of the sound crew guys was waving at him, seeking his attention for another sound check. Mydei turned his back to them, lowering his voice. “Just… be careful.”

“I will. Nothing can stop me” Phainon promised, and Mydei prayed silently that the pilot wasn’t jinxing his luck by saying that. “I know you’ll do amazing as always, ‘break a leg’ as they say. Love you.”

“Love y—” the line went dead before he finished the sentence.

“—Deimos.” The crewman tapped his shoulder impatiently “we still have check-ups to run. Please cooperate with us.”

Mydei apologized briefly, focusing his attention on the rehearsals with renewed vigor, feeling lighter with the knowledge he’ll get to spend the night after the concert in Phainon’s arms.

━ ⟡ ━

The crowd was screaming his name before he even stepped onto the stage. Their cheers carried over the open air, his name being chanted, called by the thousands of fans. Eight thousand if he remembers Agalea’s words correctly. Mydei stood in the back, anticipation crawling beneath his skin, the rush of adrenaline already high in his body. Castrum Kremnos. The city he swore he would never return to. And yet here he was, standing on its biggest stage, about to sing his heart out at the place where he was once told his dream was worthless.

A crewman gave him his cue to step onto the stage through the earpiece, and the lights turned on.

“Kremnos!” Mydei shouted, walking up the stage. The screams that came back were loud, carrying through the entire venue, thousands of people responding to his call, flashing glow-sticks and phone cameras. A grin spread across his lips. “I have yet to perform for you guys, not in this city-state” the fans roared again, chanting his name. “So let’s make tonight worth it!”

He took a deep breath, calming down his nerves. Even after years, the moment he saw that so many people were watching him, paid to listen to his music, was overwhelming.

Then his instinct surged.

A tech passed him his electric guitar — his signature one; deep red and shining under the lights like the tattoos peeking from his open shirt. Mydei slung the strap of it across his shoulder in one practiced motion and gave the strings one quick play as his boots carried him forward until he reached the microphone.

He started singing.

The adrenaline surged through him immediately like wildfire. Here, under the lights, singing to his heart's content, was the place he truly belonged. Mydei's body moved with the rhythm of the music, fingers playing the guitar in while his voice, raw and loud, carried through the venue. His golden jewelry reflected the lights with every movement. The audience answered him with every new song— singing the words back, shouting "More" and "Mydeimos!".

His throat burned by the fourth song, but the crowd's energy, their love for him, fueled him to keep going, to sing harder, pouring his passion into every word. Their energy was intoxicating, and he welcomed it, embraced it, loved it.

It was addictive. He missed the feeling.

Mydei walked down the stage, closer to the myriads of people that came to watch him and engaged with them while singing - brushed his fingers over outstretched hands in the front rows and pointed his microphone at the audience when they sang the lines with him.

He was about to return back to the stage and start the next song when he saw it: a rainbow-colored flag someone was waving high in the air with the name “Mydeimos” painted on it in black. A thought, quick and vicious, popped into his head.

Mydei wasn’t sure if his father was watching the concert, but if he was— the chance to spit in his face without even saying a word was too tempting to pass up. He reached out for it, and the fan practically climbed the barricade to give him the flag. Mydei lifted it high up, waving it proudly, and the audience’s roar that followed was loud enough even for his in-ear monitor to tone down.

“Never be afraid to be who you really are!” He shouted into the mic, then draped the flag across his shoulders and started an improv guitar solo to accompany his statement.

The response was electric, like fire catching across the entire crowd. Cipher was no doubt grinning like a fiend behind the stage, she’d be proud for sure.

He kept singing his heart out as song after song bled together, leaving him breathless, drunk with adrenaline, and before he even noticed, there was only one song left— his favorite, a ballad he wrote years ago. Mydei took a short pause before it. He sat at the edge of the stage, took a few sips from the water bottle next to him, scanning the crowd in the meantime for a familiar mess of white hair that he was hoping to see.

“That sign” he called, pointing the microphone at the crowd. “Who wrote ‘Marry me, Mydeimos?’”

The crowd erupted with laughter and cheers, many of them raising their hands in unison, shouting “Me!”, and Mydei laughed back. "I'll have to ask my manager if that's in the contract" he deadpanned, earning another roar of laughter before he placed the microphone into the short stand and played the first note of the ballad, the one he wrote the day he realized his feelings for Phainon were more than just friendship.

“It's a little bit funny

This feeling inside.”

His voice became more and more tender with each word, every emotion he felt inside pouring out into it while his eyes kept searching for Phainon in the crowds. The audience hummed along with him, not screaming for once but letting him sing from his heart.

“I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do

My gift is my song and this one's for you.”

Phainon wasn’t anywhere to be seen. “He said he’d come.” The thought looped with every note, louder than the words he sang. “Of course I’m coming. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Mydei closed his eyes, pouring his love for the man into the mic, opening them again only when he reached the last part of the chorus.

There was still no familiar head of snow-white hair in the crowd.

“I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind

That I put down in words

How wonderful life is

While you're in the world.”

He played the last bit of the guitar solo until the last note echoed in the open, and the fans roared into life immediately, chanting his name, begging for more. He raised the mic one last time, standing up and shouting his thanks to the thousands that came to watch him.

But his heart suddenly wasn’t there despite the rush, not since he realized that Phainon wasn’t in the crowds as promised.

With another round of "thank yous," he stepped backstage. Aglaea smiled at him, congratulating him at first, then adding some pointers for their next destination. Cipher clapped him on the back hard enough to make him stumble, grinning wide, spilling praises at him for nailing it.

Mydei nodded, answered questions from the technicians that swarmed them minutes later, smiled and thanked them, looking around all the time for a familiar face. Phainon wasn't waiting for him backstage either, and it worried him. He was supposed to land in Kremnos by now.

The second he could, he practically bolted to the dressing room, needing to check his phone, heart stuttering when he saw three unread messages on his lock screen.

Phainon [20:20]: I’m so sorry Mydei. We had a technical issue and I’m stranded here in Styxia until a replacement plane arrives

Phainon [20:20]: I’m fine! They found the problem before we took off so don’t worry about me. I hope your concert went well!!!

Phainon [20:22]: I love you!!! (´꒳`)♡

His heart sank, as if the floor had given way beneath his feet.

Phainon wasn’t here. Wasn’t going to make it.

He should have been relieved. His partner was safe. That was all that mattered. Yet, all Mydei could think about was how much Phainon must’ve been distressed. He wanted to drop everything and get on the first flight to Styxia, to be there for Phainon, his own worries momentarily forgotten.

Mydei [21:39]: I’m glad you’re ok.

Mydei shoved the phone into his back pocket before anyone could come in and see how distressed he was. He gave himself a minute to compose himself, willing his face into neutrality.

The ride back to the hotel should have been triumphant. Cipher was buried in her phone, giggling occasionally, probably at her own comments through his official page. Aglaea scrolled through her notes, muttering something to herself. Krateros congratulated him as well, telling him how proud he was. It all should’ve been heart-warming, happy…

He pressed his forehead against the window in silence for the rest of the ride.

“Is it ok to discuss everything tomorrow?” Mydei asked once they were checked in, too distressed to say anything further. Aglaea nodded at him, concerned, but didn’t say anything else. He was thankful for her understanding.

Grabbing his luggage, Mydei wished the three good-night, and disappeared into the elevator.

The room was too quiet, too clean-smelling. He closed the door behind him, letting his repressed emotions from earlier resurface now that he was alone again. Mydei dropped his guitar case on the couch, peeled off his jacket, letting it fall carelessly to the floor, and moved through his usual routine — a quick shower, drying up, skincare. He did it all on autopilot, thoughts too consumed with the messages from his lover.

“I’m so sorry Mydei. We had a technical issue and I’m stranded here in Styxia until a replacement plane arrives.”

“I’m fine! They found the problem before we took off so don’t worry about me. I hope your concert went well!!!”

“I love you!!! (´꒳`)♡”

He stared at his phone once he fell onto the bed, reading the messages again. And again. The cheer in the words felt like a knife twisting into his heart. He wanted to hear Phainon’s voice— see his smile, feel the warmth of his body.

Text on screen wasn’t enough.

Not tonight. He needed his man here, in Kremnos, close enough to hold him and shield him from the uneasy feeling of being “home” after so long. He scoffed. It was no longer his home. What was he even thinking?

Mydei sank deeper into the pillows, staring at the ceiling. Tonight’s concert had been a triumph— one he should savor, celebrate. But all he could think about was the empty side next to him on the bed. The arms that hadn’t been waiting backstage. Phainon, alone in Styxia, wishing the same, wishing Mydei was there for him.

His hand closed tighter around the phone. He hovered on Phainon’s name on the scream— wanting to call him, to hear his voice, to be selfish.

He didn’t, couldn’t. Mydei could not bring himself to burden Phainon like that when the pilot had a stressful day of his own, he surely didn’t need his boyfriend to remind him how the distance between them sucked.

Instead, he got up, walking to his suitcase. He grabbed Phainon’s shirt and held it close to his face, inhaling the comforting scent that lingered on the cotton. Mydei hid himself under the blanket and closed his eyes, pretending for a moment that the pillow next to him wasn’t cold and empty, that Phainon was there, just outside the blanket.

It wasn’t enough.

The illusion didn’t do anything to soothe him.

“I miss you” Mydei whispered into the empty room, to no one at all, turning off the lights.

Chapter Text

Mydei couldn’t fall asleep. His thoughts kept him awake as he tossed in bed.

“Phainon.”

He should have been here right now, with him. Not stuck in Styxia, but in his arms, or at least vice-versa, in a reality where Mydei could drop everything and be there with him instead.

Mydei turned onto his side, telling himself not to dwell on it. It was pointless. There was nothing he could do about it. But the silence was driving him crazy, and Phainon’s scent— while normally soothing— did absolutely nothing to calm his racing mind down.

Groaning, frustrated, Mydei gave up on sleeping away his emotional state and grabbed his phone, dialing the one number he knew by heart. It picked up the first time, but the line dropped before he could even hear Phainon on the other side of it. He tried again— it rang twice before going to voicemail.

His phone’s screen lit up less than a minute later

Phainon [01:14]: Signal is real bad. Cant get a call through. You okay?

Mydei’s thumbs hovered on the keyboard. He typed no before deleting it. I need you here.

No. None of those sounded right. He scowled at the screen.

Mydei [01:15]: I’m fine. How about you?

It looked formal, cold, but everything else felt wrong.

He got a reply instantly, as if Phainon had been waiting for his message, and knowing the man— he probably did. If he wasn’t such an emotional mess right now, Mydei would’ve chuckled at the mental image of the white-haired man, wagging his imaginary tail, excited that he texted him.

Phainon [01:15]: You don’t have to be fine with me.

Phainon [01:16]: im good btw. tired though. Good thing the airport crew found the issue before we took off

Phainon [01:16]: but tell me how the concert went!!

The performance replayed in his mind— The rush of adrenaline, the hype of the fans, the lack of Phainon in the crowd… He typed, erased, typed again, each version worse than the last.

Too loud. It didn’t sound right.

Didn’t feel right without you. No.

The crowd was incredible, but you weren’t there. That’s even worse.

“…Forget it,” Mydei whispered to himself.

Mydei [01:20]: It went well. The fans were hyped up.

His message felt hollow.

Phainon [01:22]: I knew you’d do amazing! I’m so proud of you my love ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Mydei read the message once, twice, for the third time, his heart clenching anew with every re-read. There were so many things we wanted to say back, but every response he thought of felt clingy, desperate.

He hated how much effort it took him just to sound like he was truly fine, the need to punch something, vent the frustration away rising in him.

Since when was he an emotional mess because of a stupid promise that someone couldn’t keep!?

Mydei [01:24]: Thanks. It means a lot.

Mydei [01:25]: And I’m glad you’re ok, Phainon. Please stay safe.

Their conversation died after that. Mydei imagined Phainon in some foreign terminal— camping out in the lounge, or maybe in a hotel room if the airline was kind enough to provide them one on such short notice, probably awake for him when he should be sleeping.  

He let the phone drop unceremoniously on top of his chest and closed his eyes. Texting Phainon left him feeling worse. Instead of improving his mood it heightened his craving for the man, longing increasing by tenfold, the same way eating a cube of chocolate always left him unsatisfied, wanting more of the sweet treat.

Mydei’s lips curled into a faint smile. Comparing Phainon to chocolate— “Ridiculous.” He huffed under his breath, suddenly self-conscious about even thinking that. But then again, the man was sweet.

A new notification ping cut his thought off.

Phainon [01:35]: Still awake?

Of course he was. Sleep was impossible like this. Every part of him ached, missed his partner, thoughts circling endlessly. He let the screen glow in his hand for a long moment before answering.

Mydei [01:40]: Yes.

Three letters. Too short. Mydei almost added something else— I can’t sleep. I want to see you. I miss you. — but he didn’t want to worry Phainon. He knew the man was just as exhausted.

Phainon [01:42]: Same, they put us in a really crappy hotel for the night. honestly, i wish i was next to you instead of here... i want to hold you…

Pain bloomed in Mydei’s chest. He stared at the words until the screen blurred with tears he refused to shed. Next to him. If only.

He typed I wish that too before erasing it. Too much.

Mydei [01:45]: Get some rest. You’ll need it.

The three dots appeared almost immediately on the screen. Paused. Then appeared again.

Phainon [01:46]: i dont want to. I’d rather stay awake and talk to you (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

He could practically feel Phainon’s pout through the message.

Mydei thought for a moment to act selfishly, to tell his partner how the concert had felt wrong without him. How much he missed him and hoped to see him. How he hated this— hated how needy he was becoming, only for Phainon to reassure him that he wasn’t…

Mydei [01:48]: You really should sleep. Don’t stay up for me.

Mydei wanted to hit his head on the wall, slap himself, grab himself by the collar of his shirt, and knock sense into his stubbornness.

“Why can’t I be honest?” He groaned into the empty room, frustrated at himself. He usually could show his more vulnerable side to Phainon, so why was it so hard all of a sudden?

Phainon [01:49]: Ok mom.

Phainon [01:49]: IM JOKING!

Phainon [01:50]: I will go to sleep after you tell me you’re really ok! I know it’s a lot for you to be in Kremnos

He wasn’t ok.

Mydei [01:50]: I’m fine. Don’t worry.

A lie.

Phainon [01:51]: It’s ok to admit that you aren’t love. i know im not, it upsets me that I couldn’t see you tonight

Phainon [01:54]: and its hard to know what youre thinking like that, when texting. It makes me feel like im the only one who is bothered by the distance…

“It’s ok to say you aren’t”, “It makes me feel like im the only one who is bothered by the distance.” Mydei’s breath hitched, the words hitting him harder than a slap. Knowing that Phainon was hurting because of his own emotional turmoil upset him as much as the distance.

His thumb hovered over the screen again, heart pounding. He typed slower this time, deliberate. I want you here. He stared at the words, debating. It felt too bare, too much like begging that he nearly erased it.

He ignored those voices.

“It’s your partner, it's ok to be vulnerable, he wants you to be.” Before he could regret it, he hit send.

Mydei [01:55]: You’re right, I’m sorry for lying. I want you here.

Mydei [01:55]: The distance, you’re not the only one who is upset by it.

Phainon [01:56]:  MYDEIIIIII! (╥_╥)

Phainon [01:58]: i want to be there with you too. more than anything. im so so sorry love.

It wasn’t Phainon’s fault, he reminded himself. If anything, Phainon showed him how badly he wanted to be there for him by staying awake for his sake, by telling him exactly how he felt.

Mydei [02:00]: You don’t need to apologize. It’s not your fault.

Phainon [02:02]: maybe not. but i still do. i wanted to be there with you. for you… not half a world away...

Turning to lie on his side, Mydei willed down the persistent wetness in his eyes. He appreciated Phainon’s words, but it wasn’t what he truly needed. He needed his presence, warmth, the weight of a warm body against his. Words on a screen couldn’t give him that.

For the first time in years, he felt his restraint cracking, leaving him raw and weak. He hated that feeling.

His phone vibrated again.

Phainon [02:04]: Ill make it up to you Mydei, im not sure how, but i will. I promise.

Mydei stared at the words for a long minute. A promise. One he wanted to believe, needed to believe — yet, he couldn’t, knowing deep down that their lives would get in their way again, the world always pulling them apart.

Not believing was easier than getting his hopes up only for them to be crushed by circumstances that weren’t in their control, just like today.

The lump in his throat got bigger, impossible to ignore anymore. Mydei could picture it so clearly — Phainon typing it with his usual grin, meaning every word, even if reality tore it away tomorrow. It should have comforted him. Instead, it hurt.

His thumb hovered over the screen, searching for the right words.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Delete.

I don’t need anything but you. Delete.

In the end, he typed nothing.

Mydei flipped the phone face down against the sheets, pressing the heel of his palms hard against his eyes. It didn’t stop the sting.

He spent years shaping himself into an unmovable force, mastering restraint, growing a skin so thick no one could crawl under it— he had to do it not only because of his father, but because of his career too. Mydei learned to be stoic when the world demanded too much, calm when others faltered. But tonight, the mask shattered.

The first tear slid down his face before he realized it. Hot, humiliating, soaking into Phainon’s shirt. Mydei bit down hard on his bottom lip, trying to force it to stop. He promised himself after leaving Kremnos that he would never cry again.

It didn’t help.

More tears trailed down his face within seconds, followed by silent sobs. He buried his face deep into Phainon's shirt, a futile attempt to ground himself with the scent of his lover. 

“Phai—non—” He whispered between takes of air “I—please—” another sob made him shudder. How embarrassing was it, to cry like a child and beg for his lover’s warmth mere hours after performing on one of the biggest stages in Amphoreus. “I want you here—”

He pulled the blanket over his head, hiding under it. He would die before he’d let anyone see him like this. Not Cipher. Not Aglaea. Definitely no Phainon. Mydei would rather break apart alone than let his lover carry the weight of his cracks.

“Is this worth it?” The question nagged him in the back of his head. This endless cycle of waiting, missing, needing what the other couldn’t give. Could he keep going like this? Phainon said he hated it too, but did he feel the same? Did he feel this emptiness, this impossible pain every time they parted, were away? Or was it easier for him?

Vulnerability had always felt like weakness to him. Mydei might’ve been straightforward, impossibly honest, but he was rarely vulnerable. Baring his soul to others was something he was slowly learning to do, before the constant distance entered the equation, making him close again to protect himself— even if he knew deep inside that it hurt Phainon.

His phone vibrated again next to him. Mydei reached for it blindly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand before flipping it over.

Phainon [02:27]: i love you, Mydei. more than anything. hold on, for me, okay?

The words blurred instantly with another wave of tears. He pressed the screen against his chest, clutching it like it was the only thing keeping him together and pressed his knees closer. A promise. A plea. Both at once. He wanted to believe it.

“I’m trying” he whispered into the dark, pained and honest. It was the only answer he had.

Mydei [03:14]: I love you too.

He wasn’t sure how long he cried that night.

━ ⟡ ━

The next morning, Mydei looked calm and stoic like always, as if nothing had happened the night before. The only evidence of the emotional mess he was, was the redness under his eyes and a new page in his notebook, words spoken from the heart on a piece of paper, though he doubted any of them would make a good song.

Other than that, he looked normal. His expression was back into the usually unreadable one— the same one he, and everyone around him were used to seeing.

“Good morning, Mydeimos” Aglaea eyed him when he entered the breakfast area, already sipping on her coffee at one of the tables. If she noticed anything out of the ordinary— she didn’t mention it. “There are a few things we need to go over from yesterday.” Her calm tone carried when he placed his plate across from her, sitting down.

They went over the pointers she mentioned the day before, and around the time they were wrapping things up Cipher joined them, followed by Krateros, who was laughing about something. As the two approached the table minutes later with their plates stacked with food, Cipher eyed him curiously, already opening her mouth to say something when a cough came from Aglaea’s direction, making her stop in her tracks and sit down in silence.

Mydei was grateful for that.

Krateros, on the other hand ignored the warning. He clapped a heavy hand to Mydei’s shoulder. “You did well last night” he said simply. The words carried weight, not the hollow sort of praise but something anchored, solid. “You have proven that you’re strong. Stronger than your father ever was.”

It struck deeper than Mydei let show. He inclined his head in acknowledgment, smiling faintly at the old man. “Sometimes I don’t feel that way.” His answer was honest, maybe even too honest, but after last night he was exhausted of bottling all his emotions.

“Mydeimos, are yo—” Krateros was about to say something else when Cipher interrupted him.

“Oh right! Almost forgot!” She grabbed her tablet, ignoring the old man's displeased look at being interrupted. “You’re going to love this one” she said with her mouth full, words muffled around a bite of pastry. Cipher tapped on the screen a few times and turned it for him to see, showing… An email?

Mydei gave her a puzzled look.

“C’mon, read it.”

He did, expression morphing from confused, to surprised, to smug. He barked out a laugh. Last night’s whim worked.

“What is this email about?” Aglaea asked sternly. “You better not start anything funny, Ciphera.”

“No. No! I didn’t do anything!” Cipher waved her hands defensively. “I got an email this morning from Kremnos Real Estate. The message inside said that one of their higher-ups wasn’t too happy with… this.” She grabbed the tablet from Mydei’s hands, opening his social media account and showing it to Aglaea.

It was a shot from last night’s show— Him standing on the stage, microphone in hand, lifting the pride flag he grabbed from the fan high in the air.

“Apparently it ‘tarnishes the reputation of the CEO’” Cipher added, unable to contain her laugh any longer. “They want us to take the image down.”

Aglaea lifted her eyes from the email with a smile on her lips. “Which is another way of saying your father didn’t like it, Mydeimos.”

Satisfaction bloomed in his chest. Mydei lifted the coffee mug closer to his face to hide how widely he was smirking. His father had seen him standing in the city he had left behind, and the sight had been enough to irritate him. Good. Let him choke on it.

A low chuckle rumbled from Krateros’ seat, surprising in its warmth. “Serves the old man right” he muttered into his plate.

“Leave the photo up” Aglaea told Cipher, who burst out in another fit of laughter.

“Aye Aye, boss!”

The tension in Mydei’s chest lifted a little, the satisfying news easing the ache from last night. He grabbed his own phone, sending a quick message to Phainon about how his actions pissed his father, knowing it would bring a smile to his lover’s face the same way it did to his.

There was only one more thing left to do before he left Kremnos, one more thing that he hoped would help him calm his mind, or at least tone down the mess of feelings he was experiencing— and it included talking to the only person he could be honest with- his mother.

Once they all finished their breakfast, he asked to have the rest of the time until their departure to the next destination for himself. Surprisingly, Aglaea nodded in agreement, as if she knew he would need it already.

━ ⟡ ━

Mydei refused to let Krateros drive him to his destination, opting for a taxi instead. He needed the time alone. The old man frowned but understood, respecting his request.

The cemetery felt bigger than he remembered, almost overwhelmingly so. Mydei walked the familiar path, passing cracking stones he half-recognized, briefly wondering if it was always this big and poorly managed or did his father play a hand at this too, ruining Castrum Kremnos slowly with his greed.

His eyes lit up at the familiar name in front of him. He brushed some of the dirt off the grave and placed the flowers he brought with him on top of it.

Gorgo.

For a while he said nothing. He stared at the name, reminiscing, deep in thought as the breeze moved through the grass around him.

Eventually Mydei sighed. “I know I haven’t visited for a while Mom” he started, shaking his head. This wasn’t the purpose of his visit. “There is a guy I wish you could meet one day.”

He huffed. “No. Not a guy. Phainon. He has a lovely name…” His lips curved into a smile full of longing. “You’d like him Mom. I know you would.” He chuckled.

“He’s Loud, insufferable, always grinning and challenges me into the stupidest competitions, and I love it. You’d probably tell me he’s way out of my league if you met him.” Mydei kept going, describing Phainon, telling his mother everything he loved about the man.

The silence greeted him once he took a pause, looking up at the cloudy sky. He could almost hear her voice— soft, teasing. “Or maybe I’d say you deserve someone who can see past your defenses, finally.” He knew Gorgo would say something like that if she was still alive.

His mouth twitched. “You would say that... Scold me for thinking so low of myself.”

Mydei sat down more comfortably, posture relaxing like he was chatting with an old friend and not sitting by his mother's grave “You know Mom, he’s different. He makes me laugh. Makes me lower my walls. He never stops showering me with affection, even when I ask him to stop. Sometimes it’s exhausting to deal with someone so extroverted and emotional.”

His voice dropped as he sighed fondly. “But he also makes me the happiest I’ve ever been.”

It was new to him— lowering his guard and sharing his true feelings, the same ones he still struggled sharing with Phainon sometimes. Yet, in the presence of his mother, he could spill everything out without holding back.

The dam broke after that. He told her about the ache, about the ever-growing Physical distance caused by their jobs and how hard it weighed on him. About the way he hated himself for needing so much, for being weak, for missing Phainon so badly he was ready to throw his hard-earned fame away if the white-haired man would ask him to.

“You’d scold me for it” he murmured, lowering his head. “Tell me I’ve always been too proud. Tell me love isn’t weakness—” He laughed, soft and bitter. “Maybe you’d be right.”

For a moment, he let himself imagine her answer— the warmth of her hand on his shoulder, the softness in her eyes. You are strong, Mydeimos, my child. You should not be ashamed of showing your true self to your partner, emotions aren’t weakness, my dear. They’re strength.

A warm breeze passed by him, almost like it was really his mother, trying to reassure him with her warmth.

“You’re always right Mom.” He closed his eyes, pressing his palm against the stone. “I miss you.” Mydei chuckled bitterly “As much as I miss him. Sometimes I think that I can’t keep living like this, with the distance. Is it really such a selfish request?” He asked, wishing his mother was actually there to give him advice.

He ended up spending near two hours next to Gorgo’s grave, telling her everything— from leaving to Okhema, to how he met Phainon, to his career, even to how he feels undeserving of the way Phainon touches him with worship. Everything he could not yet admit to his lover, or anyone else in fact, and slowly, with every word, the ache in his chest eased. It wasn’t gone, never gone when he was away from his partner— but it felt lighter, as though spilling his heart out lifted some of the heaviness away.

He straightened slowly, standing up, giving the stone one last look, one last quiet nod.

“I’ll bring him over next time Mom. I promise. Won’t say yes until you approve of him.” He joked, although it wasn’t something that he would mind, the thought of being bound to Phainon forever was an appealing one.

By the time he stood up and bid his goodbyes to his mother, Mydei felt almost like a new person: stronger, determined, more like himself.

There were still four more concerts to the mini-tour and he was more than ready to enjoy the time and change his pace, focus on his performance instead of his emotions, at least for now.

He messaged Phainon quickly while waiting for the taxi to arrive.

Mydei [12:27]: There is someone I’d like you to meet if we ever end up in Castrum Kremnos together. 

Mydei [12:29]: Stay safe. I miss you.

A reply came almost instantly.

Phainon [12:29]: already replacing me like that? Im going to cry! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

Mydei [12:30]: Idiot. It’s my mother.

Phainon [12:29]: heh. ofc! i miss you more, will call you later tonight

Mydei closed his phone with a smile. He could do it. He could bear the distance for their sake.

━ ⟡ ━

The next days were a blur to him, running on adrenaline and his newfound determination. He nailed the concert in Janusopolis, and even stuck around post-concert —as per Aglaea’s suggestion— to sign fans' merchandise, and take pictures.

Aidonia was the same, he engaged more with the crowd, both during the show, where he grabbed his Phone post song, snapping a selfie with the audience, already knowing Cipher had a shit eating grin on the other side of the makeshift wall, probably posting it within seconds after her phone pinged, and after it— when he gave the crowd an encore per their requests. Even Aglaea shared was impressed with him, surprised at his sudden change after how off he had acted in Kremnos.

Yet, no one would suspect that the reason for the sudden change wasn’t the location, or whatever he did during the day off in Kremnos, but a rare alignment in Phainon’s schedule allowed the pilot to call him every night, and stay up with him until both fell asleep.

Phainon made sure to call him every night, making it into a new routine for them.

On the first night it was late after his flight landed, and they simply looked at each other through the camera, hardly exchanging any words, falling asleep to the sight of each other. He called Mydei back in the morning, sharing stories about the latest quips Castorice has told him— The one guy who had to spend the entire flight babysitting someone else’s kid? He felt bad for them.

Mydei listened quietly, content to let the sound wash over him. The stories never mattered as much as the way Phainon’s voice softened when he spoke, slowly lulling him into sleep.

Last night, Phainon fell asleep first, muttering quietly “I hate these nights without you.” Leaving Mydei to lie there for the next hour with the call still going, heart pounding too loudly in his chest. Something about knowing that his lover was struggling with the distance on the daily just like him made things easier, even if it made him long even more for Phainon.

And Tonight was no difference.

“There’s my star” Phainon smiled, voice warm with that lazy grin Mydei could hear even without seeing. His face came into view a second later, soft lamplight behind him. “You won’t believe this—I’m home. For three whole days this time. It’s so unfair!” the pilot pouted, trying to sound lighthearted, but Mydei knew better by now; Phainon hated the distance as much as he did.

“Horrible. The gods themselves are mocking us.” Mydei deadpanned, despite the grin that slowly spread on his lips. “At least you’re home and not stuck in a random hotel.”

“I know!! Even the airport lounge is better than some of them. Can you believe it? The hotel I was in yesterday? They only had two types of cheese at the breakfast buffet.”

“Fancy of you to talk about breakfast standards when you’d eat even the food I messed with on purpose.” Mydei chuckled, slowly undoing all the jewelry he was wearing.

“It’s different! I’d eat your food even if you completely burn it.” “Biased.” Mydei thought, unable to suppress the laugh.

It wasn’t the same as being next to each other, the warmth was lacking, but hearing Phainon’s voice was almost enough for now. He took off his shirt next, then peeled the leather pants slowly. “Now be a good boy and wait while I shower. I’m still gross from the concert.”

“Without letting me join? So cruel!” He could hear Phainon’s whines through the speaker as he finished undressing.

“You’re impossible.” Mydei responded with a fond sigh. “Can you stop thinking with your dick for five minutes?”

“No can do, not when my boyfriend is the most gorgeous rockstar out there.” He turned around right in time to see Phainon wink at him through the phone’s camera. Shameless.

“Please. Let me watch. I swear I won’t say a word!”

“Phainon.” Mydei’s voice was stern, a warning, but his resolve already wavered deep inside. He knew that the moment the pilot started begging, he was a goner.

“Come on” And beg Phainon did, like he expected. “You know how much I love looking at your body. I’ll be quiet. Just watching. That’s all I’m asking.”

“You can’t stay quiet to save your life.”

“I can. I swear.” Phainon pressed a hand to his chest with exaggerated sincerity. “I promise I will.” He pouted and batted his lashes through the screen, adding “Please? I miss you so much already.”

Mydei stood in silence for a long moment, lips pressed into a line. He should say no. He should hang up, take his shower in peace, and not indulge his boyfriends’ antics. But the look in Phainon’s eyes was impossible to resist. He was not immune to the puppy face.

“…Fine.” Mydei exhaled, resigned. “But one word, Phainon, and I hang up.”

Phainon beamed instantly, triumphant “you won’t regret it.”

“I already do” Mydei muttered, grabbing the phone with him. He set it on top of the little shelf inside the shower, the one meant for showering amenities— far enough from the water, and low enough to capture his head and most of his abdomen in the frame. He stared at the screen, at the reflection of his own inked chest and arms, before giving Phainon a warning glare. The pilot made a gesture of zipping his mouth in return and throwing the imaginary key away.

For the first five minutes there was only the sound of the water around him. Mydei allowed himself to close his eyes, head tilting back, and let the heat of the water soak into his muscles. Maybe Phainon would actually behave for once.

Right as he was starting to relax, a sound echoed through the speaker—low, breathy...

A moan.

Mydei’s eyes snapped open. He turned his head toward the phone, water streaming down his face. “Phainon.”

Another moan followed, louder, unmistakable this time. And beneath it, he swore he heard rustling and a muffled hiss. Mydei wiped the water off his face, glaring at the camera. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m not doing anything” Phainon replied, sounding too breathless for a man claiming he’s not doing anything. “Moans don’t count as words.”

“You little shit.”

Phainon laughed, the sound cutting off into a groan. “Guilty. Seeing you like this— you don’t even know how stunning you are. I’d give anything to be in there with you right now, to run my hands down your chest instead of yours, you know my palms are bigger, warmer…”

“You’re jealous of my own hands?” Mydei braced his forehead against the tiles, jaw clenched in disbelief. He wanted to scold him, to end the call and be done with his antics, but his eyes betrayed him. He moved his wet hair away from his face and looked back at the screen.

Phainon had held his phone around his stomach, enough for Mydei to see the way his body moved with what was undoubtedly him stroking his cock. He could see Phainon’s head tip back, throat bared, the damn choker Mydei wanted to pull on so badly stretching with every swallow. He could also see Phainon’s lips part around a loud moan, the sound of it vibrating through the shower room, sinking into his skin.

Fuck, he was getting hard already.

“Phainon” Mydei growled, warning.

Phainon’s eyes opened back to the screen, wide and desperate. “Touch yourself. Please. Let me see you. Shit, Mydei— I need you.”

He had no chance of winning, Mydei knew it, not when Phainon looked at him like that. His own cock was filling up so fast it left him dizzy, each throb a beg for him to wrap his hand around the hardness, close his eyes, and imagine it was Phai—

Mydei exhaled hard, since his mind was already conjuring it, he might as well give in. Holding his phone in one hand, He angled it in a way that allowed the camera to capture his lower body, while his other hand slid south, past his abdomen, past the trail of blonde hair, until his fingers wrapped around his cock, making him hiss and buck into the touch. It’s been only a few days and he was this pent up already. God help him.

“There you go” Phainon moaned. While Mydei had a really bad angle to see what was happening on the screen in detail, he could see one thing clearly; Phainon was looking at him with such hunger it made him feel like he was about to be devoured.

“Fuck, yes. Don’t stop—please, don’t stop.” The pilot was practically begging at the sight alone.

Mydei leaned his back against the shower wall, breathing hard. He tried to keep quiet, to hold onto some semblance of control, but Phainon’s desperation was doing things to him, things that were too embarrassing to admit loudly.

“Mydei, God, Mydeimos, I’d worship you if I were there. I’d be on my knees for you until you couldn’t stand. Open you on— my tongue. Make you beg for my cock—”

“I would not beg.” He tried to protest, but Phainon didn’t let him talk back.

“—You will. I’ll make sure of that. Shit— Mydei. I need you so fucking bad right now.”

Mydei groaned, rough and low, hips thrusting into his fist faster. His body arched with the image, every nerve alight as if Phainon’s hand were on him instead of his own. He could imagine Phainon there, fucking him with his tongue, his calloused fingers rubbing just right, begging for Mydei to come for him…

“Faster, please, please, plea—” Phainon's voice reached his ears, his own movements growing erratic based on the sound coming from the speaker. “Yes—just like that. Don’t hold back for me. Show me how much you want me.”

“Show me how much you want me”. He could do that; he would do that. For Phainon.

He increased his pace, bucking desperately into his fingers, letting his imagination run wild “Phai—non. Show me. Show me how much you want me too.” Mydei breathed, emphasizing on moaning his lover's name at a particularly hard thrust.

“Mydei—fuck—you’re perfect, god, you’re perfect—” Phainon’s pleas grew desperate, and he complied, switching the direction of the camera to show him how hard he was, how desperately he was fucking into his own fist; head red and angry, shaft twitching visibly when Phainon pressed tighter at the base, as if to hold his orgasm back, and the precum bubbling at the tip, dribbling down his hand and slowly pooling at his stomach. “I need to be in you so—so badly, to fill you with my cum—”

The thought of Phainon pressing him against the tiles and taking him, combined with the sight of his lover’s desperation, was enough to tip him over the edge.

“Fuck Phainon!” The back of Mydei’s head hit the shower wall loudly. His hips bucked into the palm, knees barely holding him up as he was coming so hard the edges of his vision darkened. He kept pumping himself through it, slowing down only when his cock started softening and had nothing more to give.

Below him, on the screen lying on the floor— when did he even drop the phone? — Phainon came seconds later, crying out his name, the hand that was on his cock smearing the milky fluid on his stomach before flipping the camera back to show Phainon’s satisfied smile and half-lidded eyes. “Love, you were perfect.” He breathed, chest heaving.

Silence followed, broken only by their attempts to catch their breath.

Mydei picked up the phone, relieved to see that there was no damage, and set it back on the shelf. He turned the water again, watching as the traces of his prior actions washed down the drain.

Phainon was the first to speak, voice hoarse but satisfied, triumphant. “See? I didn’t say a word. Not at first at least.”

“You’re insufferable.” Mydei muttered, though there was no real bite to it, not after he indulged the ever-horny vixen called his boyfriend.

“But you love it” Phainon shot back instantly, his grin so wide Mydei thought for a moment it might be hurting his cheeks.

His lips curved too, not as wide, but unmistakable. “Unfortunately for me.”

Phainon’s laughter filled the line, teasing. “No, fortunately for you. You wouldn’t survive a day out there without me.”

“I wonder that too sometimes. Would I survive without you if the distance became too much?”

Mydei closed his eyes, letting the water wash down the new layer of sweat off his skin, hiding the way his chest suddenly ached. He wanted to tell him that this was exactly what he feared. But instead, he stayed silent, pretending for a moment that being able to hear Phainon’s voice through the phone was enough.

“So, tell me how today’s concert went” the pilot asked once Mydei actually got his much-needed showering done and fell onto the bed, too tired after his partner played him and got him hard when he was trying to clean himself.

Did he mention that Phainon was shameless already?

“It was good, everything went smoothly. There are two more concerts left.” Mydei gave a simple answer. He never told him how he always searched the crowds, how he hoped to see Phainon there, and was disappointed when it didn’t happen, even if he knew that Phainon was busy at his job.

“I’m proud of you” was all he got in return, bright blue eyes looking at him with such adoration that Mydei felt his ears heat up. He really was weak when it came to the white-haired man.

“You’re biased” Mydei muttered into the phone, hoping that the light was dim enough to hide the redness creeping up his face.

“Of course I am” Phainon shot back, grinning through the screen, his voice bubbling with laughter. “I’d cheer even if you tripped over the cords and landed face-first on the stage’s floor!”

The image— Phainon hollering from the crowd as though Mydei’s humiliation was some grand accomplishment— made him smile.

He drifted off not even ten minutes later, whispering to his lover “Good night” before sleep consumed him fully.  

━ ⟡ ━

The stage in Dolos was bigger than the one he performed at the last time he visited the gamble-loving city. Cipher sat at the edge of it, legs swinging while she typed furiously on her tablet, answering fan mails and social media comments with a scary accuracy to how Mydei himself would. Sometimes he needed to do a double-take and make sure he didn’t type those answers himself by accident.

She grinned, not even looking away from the screen, tossing a comment in his direction.

“Boo! You can sound more enthusiastic during sound checks” she called, her mouth twitching when he ignored her. “Can’t have them thinking you’re a robot.”

When she got no response, she turned to Aglaea, who stood near the crew, arms crossed, pointing out adjustments to the lighting team, pointing at the manager’s “tyrant’s eye for detail” when she demanded another round of changes. It earned her a glare and a “Ciphera”, which made her bolt away to the backstage like a frightened cat.

Mydei chuckled at the scene, then resumed the soundchecks, and by the time the sun set beyond the horizon, he was ready.

The luck-obsessed city welcomed him in loud cheers, and he laughed with them, joking about how coming to the concert would surely grant them luck on their next gamble. Cipher’s wheezing through the earpiece told him he did a good job. 

He was loved by tonight’s audience, their voices rising with his, each song hitting harder than the last. Dolos fed him their energy, reckless and eager, and he gave it back until his throat burned and his chest heaved with the effort, and when the final note from his guitar echoed through the venue, he stuck around for an encore.

Mydei almost didn’t want the concert to end. If he was at his lowest in Kremnos, here, he felt at his highest.

Both women waited for him when he bid his thanks and stepped backstage, stripping the earpiece off and grabbing a towel to wipe at his exposed skin. “This performance was lit!” Cipher exclaimed happily. “People really think you blessed them. Someone actually wrote, ‘I’m never losing my 50/50 again.’ Imagine it, Mydeimos. The god of luck. Your boyfriend would be so jealous!”

Mydei was about to flick her forehead when Aglaea did that, almost. The way she rested her hand on Cipher's shoulder meant she was probably in trouble, again. “Don’t encourage him, Ciphera.”

She then turned to Mydei. “The third song was an improv, and so was the encore. You shouldn’t give in to the audience requests so easily.”

“It worked!” Cipher shot back. “They loved it.” Mydei agreed.

“It did, but it’s an opening for more requests next time.” Aglaea sighed, looking at Mydei this time. “Regardless, you did well Mydeimos. I'm glad that your energy is back.”

He toweled sweat from his face, meeting her gaze evenly. “Thank you.”

“Perhaps I should free your next mornings so your partner could keep providing you with such good energy.”

Mydei stammered “How— Did you?”

Aglaea said nothing, she gave him a knowing smile and moved on to talk to some of the crew members, leaving him in a state of mortification and fluster. Her room was right next to his… Was he too loud?

True to her words, she did free up the next day for them, moving the flight to the evening to give everyone a quick break before the last push. Mydei was thankful for that, he didn’t have to worry about being too tired because he chose to stay up and talk to Phainon, not when his morning was free. The change left him enough time to laze around, work out later than normal, and maybe even add a line or two to his latest song.  

He showered quickly, looking at his phone as he toweled his hair.

10 missed calls.

Mydei dialed back the second he finished getting dressed. Sort of.

Phainon’s face lit the screen, grainy from the bad hotel Wi-Fi but brighter than anything else in the room. His hair stuck up in uneven tufts, smile wide enough to make warmth spread throughout Mydei’s chest.

“There’s my rock star, I thought you forgot about me there!” Phainon said, leaning too close to the camera, eyes gleaming. “God, you look—” He stopped, then shook his head, grinning harder. “You look as amazing as always, all shirtless only for me to see.”

“I barely finished showering” Mydei muttered, though he matched Phainon’s smile. He set the phone against the pillow, sinking onto the bed with a contented sigh. “When I saw that someone left me 10 missed calls.”

“Haha... I missed you and you were taking longer than usual.” Phainon rubbed the back of his neck apologetically. “So how was today's performance?”

Mydei tilted his head on the pillow to look at his lover, and opted to change his phone to mobile data rather than Wi-Fi, so he could look at Phainon with better quality. “It was good. Loud. I’m their local god of luck now.”

Phainon pouted theatrically, exaggerated “But I don’t want to share you!” he sniffled. “Did you refuse the title?” he was batting his eyelashes now and Mydei groaned fondly. How could this grown man be so charming and act like a kicked dog at the same time was beyond his understanding. “I didn’t agree to anything, it was a comment someone left on my page.”

The white-haired smiled softly, no longer pouting. “As long as you stay mine!”

“His” the word lodged in Mydei’s throat. He didn’t answer, not immediately. Instead, he let the silence stretch, watching the glow of the screen illuminate Phainon’s cheekbones. Mydei wanted to trace that light with his fingers so badly.

“You’re ridiculous.” He finally managed to swallow the lump in his throat.

“Of course I am. Only yours.” was what he truly wanted to say.

“Yeah. Ridiculously down bad for you.” Phainon said with a shrug, as if mentioning the weather, and if Mydei’s cheeks reddened at the absolutely cheesy line, he was kind enough not to tease him, for once.

“Oh right, I totally forgot to tell you what Castorice said the other day, when we were waiting for the flight back to Okhema.” Phainon turned to look at the ceiling. “She made me choke on my coffee.”

Phainon’s new angle revealed the side of his neck, right where the bright sun-shaped tattoo was, hiding beneath that cursed choker that made him want to pull it, press it, watch it strain when Phainon swallows around him…

“I want to make you choke on my—” He coughed, praying that his lover didn’t pick on that. “Restraint Mydeimos. Restraint.”

“You want me to what?” Phainon turned to look at him, eyes comically wide and face flushed. Leave it to Phainon to hear the very thing he wasn’t supposed to. “Mydei?”

Mydei refused to elaborate.

“Mydeimos. Repeat that—”

“Drop it. I said nothing.” He could feel his face burning. He was not going to explain to Phainon his fascination with that stupid strip of leather over the phone. “Maybe when we’re both home.” He added, quietly.

“I’ll keep you on that” Phainon smirked, before taking a deep breath and returning to the story he was supposed to be telling. “Right, so, we’re in the crew lounge, right? She walks in, sits down, dead silent for like five minutes, typing furiously at her phone. Then she just looks up from it and goes— ‘If I ever have to deal with a cabin full of entitled teenagers again, I’m jumping off the plane. Tell my girlfriend that I love her or something if I do.’”

Mydei smiled, shaking his head. “That sounds exactly like her.”

“Wait, it gets better.” Phainon laughed, leaning closer to the camera. “One of the newer flight attendants who was with us asked her, ‘So wait, how did you deal with them?’ And she, I swear to the gods, didn’t even blink before saying, ‘I thought about my girlfriend, my next paycheck, and prayed for turbulence. In that order.’”

He could imagine the purple-haired flight attendants’ deadpan face, done and tired, and it made him chuckle. “I don’t know how the rest of the crew deal with her, especially the other one you mentioned, Hyacine?”

“Yeah, Hyacine. You remembered! She sighs and claims she’ll be sending Cas the therapy bills, since that’s part of her duties as a manager.” Phainon chuckled back. “Half the crew didn’t know if she was joking. I almost spit my drink out on the captain.”

“You are the captain.” Mydei rolled his eyes.

“The other one, Captain Anaxa, my senior. He threatened to crash the plane if I ever spilled coffee on him. Hyacine had to calm him down for a solid ten minutes!” Phainon said, snorting.

Mydei shook his head, unable to hide his amusement no longer. “You’re all unbelievable. How did the airline hire you all?”

“Maybe we are, but now you’re smiling” Phainon pointed out, softer. “Which was the whole point, you looked a little off at the start of the call.”

Mydei’s gaze lingered on him. “I’m just tired, don’t worry about it.”

“You sure?” Phainon asked.

“Yes, suffering the consequences of staying up late with you last night, I promise.” He admitted, not hiding behind his usual masks.

Phainon grinned, settling back against his pillow with a contented sigh. “I love you even more when you’re honest and don’t hide from me, you know that?”

“Might need a reminder.” Mydei teased back, "you'll need to love me extra next time we see each other." 

The conversation eased after that, they shared stories between them, chatting about nothing and everything altogether, until their voices lowered, sentences stretching with the weight of fatigue. Phainon yawned openly, laughing at himself, while Mydei got up, returning with Phainon’s shirt moments later and nuzzling deeper against the pillows.

“Is that?” Phainon asked

“Yeah. Barely smells like you though.”

The white-haired man did the same; he got up to grab one of Mydei’s shirts from the closet, hugging it tightly, shamelessly inhaling the fabric. “This one still has your cologne on it.”

“I’ll leave you another one when I’m home next time.”

Neither of them spoke after that, but they didn’t end the call, comfortable almost next to each other like that. 

And when Mydei’s eyes closed, the last thing he saw was Phainon’s smile on the screen.

For once, he didn’t feel so lonely.