Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

His head hurt. His head really fucking hurt. It hurt so bad, Wally didn’t even want to think about opening his eyes. When he finally did manage to crack one open, he was just thankful the room was dark. It wasn’t his room though. Not even close. The bed didn’t feel the same. The sheets were different. The blanket wasn’t his and that soft beeping was starting to get on his nerves. 

This wasn’t his room and he frankly had zero idea where the fuck he was until he managed to turn his head slightly before the blinding pain shot through his skull. The med bay in the watchtower. At least he thinks. He never actually spent much time in the med bay because of his healing, but this wasn’t a real hospital. Why the fuck was he in the med bay? And why was he in so much pain? He’s never in this much pain. At least not for long. Something had to be wrong. Very wrong if it warranted sending him here. 

Wally couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember what exactly happened that could have possibly landed him here. He tried to remember. He tried to think back to the last thing in his memory. It wasn’t a fight. No alien invasion or a mission gone wrong. He was at home. Sitting on the couch and watching a bad movie. He remembered the front door opening and then it was all blank. Jesus, was he shot in the fucking head or something? That would explain the pain in his head. It would also cause a wound bad enough to land him in the med bay. 

Wally tried to sit up. He gave it his best effort before the pain shot behind his eyeballs and he fell back against the pillow with a groan. “Fuck. Ow.” He huffed, squeezing his eyes shut. He heard the door open and a sigh came from the other room. 

“Oh thank god.” He knew that voice. He didn’t dare try to open his eyes again. “You’re awake.” Connor? That had to be Connor.

“I wish I wasn’t.” Wally groaned before attempting to open his eyes again. There was Connor, standing at the end of his bed and looking like he saw a ghost. “Jesus, do I look that bad?” 

“You’re awake.” Connor said slowly before making his way around the bed. “Are you…are you okay? Are you in pain? I can go get someone-”

“Shh.” Wally huffed. “I’m awake. I’m in pain. You’re being very loud.” 

“Sorry.” Connor mumbled. “You scared the shit out of us, Wally.” Before Wally could even think of something to say, another voice came from the open door. 

“He’s awake.” Donna. “I-I’lll go get someone.” She said before Wally could hear her footsteps rushing down the hall. 

“What happened?” Wally frowned. “You guys are starting to freak me out.” He said slowly. “Why haven’t I healed yet? How long was I out?”

“Wally-” Connor started. Wally could see the frown tugging at his lips before people were flooding in the room. Uncle Barry. Hal. J’onn. Even the big bad bat of Gotham. 

“You’re awake.” Barry sighed before practically diving into the open seat next to his bed. 

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Wally frowned. He was beyond confused at this point. How could he have possibly gone from sitting at home to this so fast. Everyone was looking at him. They all had the same look of worry etched on their faces. 

“Wally, you’ve been unconscious for two days.” Barry said slowly, reaching out to carefully grab his hand, avoiding the IV. When did he get an IV?

“T-Two days..? Two days? How have I been out for two days? W-Why aren’t I healing? What happened?” God, this was all making his head hurt worse. Everything was off. It was all…strange. 

“What was the last thing you remember?” Bruce asked carefully from the other side of the room, trying to keep his face perfectly neutral. Trying was the key word. 

“I-I was at home. Watching TV.” Wally said carefully. 

“You were in an accident.” J’onn explained softly. “You hit your head. As for your healing factor, I’m assuming it had something to do with the spell that knocked you back in the first place.” 

“A spell? What spell?” Wally frowned. He was starting to panic. He was hit with a spell and he couldn’t remember? He could feel his breathing kick up a notch and the way Barry’s hand tightened around his to try and keep him calm. It wasn’t working well. 

“You were on a mission. A witch hit you with a spell and you flew back into a wall.” Connor cut in. “You hit your head and just…didn’t get back up…”

A mission. He was on a mission and got hurt and he literally could not remember it happening. 

He was at home. He was literally just at home and he was waiting. He could remember that. He was sitting on the couch and waiting for something-

“Dick.” He remembered. He was waiting for Dick to come home. Wally shot up in the bed, trying to ignore the shooting pain. “W-Where’s Dick?” Hands were on him, trying to get him to lay back down. He thinks it was Connor and Uncle Barry. It didn’t matter though. He needed to find Dick. “Is he okay? Was he on the mission? Did he get hurt?” Wally rushed out all at once. He tried to stand up before his vision went white. He stumbled a bit before Connor caught him and gently put him back on the bed. 

“You need to take it easy, Wally.” Barry frowned, keeping a firm grip on his shoulders to keep him from getting up again. 

“Where’s Dick?” Wally asked again. He wasn’t looking at anyone else in the room. Just his uncle. Just Barry. But he looked so fucking sad. 

“Wally…” Bruce started before taking a step close to the bed. “What’s the last thing you remember?” He asked slowly. Wally frowned, turning his head to look over at Bruce before shaking his head. 

“I told you. I was at home. I-I was watching TV and I was waiting for Dick to come home.” Wally frowned. “Is he okay?”

The room went silent. Dead silent. The only noise was the quick breath Barry sucked in and the sound of beeping from the monitors. 

“I think we should give Wally some space.” Bruce said carefully. Everyone else gave a quick nod before they were being ushered out of the room. Connor cast one last sad smile before the door was being shut behind him. Bruce stayed. He shut the door and hesitated for a moment before making his way over to the other free chair. “Wally-”

“Bruce, is Dick okay?” Wally cut in with a frown. Nobody was answering his question and it was starting to make him physically fucking sick. 

“Dick’s fine.” Bruce said with a sigh. “He’s alright, but I need you to be more specific. Do you know what day it is today?”

Wally could feel some of the anxiety draining out of his body. He didn’t even care that he got hit with some weird magic spell. If he was on a mission, Dick might have been there. Wally was knocked out cold, which just means he wasn’t there to protect him if he needed to. But, Dick was fine. Apparently. 

“Uncle Barry said I’ve been out for two days.” Wally said slowly. He could feel his uncle take his hand in his again before he continued. “So it's a week before Dick’s birthday.” 

 Bruce paused for a moment. He wasn’t looking Wally in the eye. His eyes were glued to his shoes on the linoleum floor. “Do you remember how old Dick’s turning..?” 

 “Twenty three.” Wally said confidently. These were easy questions. In movies, they always just ask who the president was or something. Maybe he didn’t hit his head as hard as he thought. 

 “Bruce..” Barry whispered softly. Wally couldn’t see him, but he could see the way Bruce glanced up and slightly shook his head. 

 “You should get some rest.” Bruce said, plastering on his best ‘everything is okay’ smile. “Why don’t you just take it easy for a while, yeah? I’ll tell everyone you need some time before you get any visitors. Whatever spell hit you obviously had an effect on your healing abilities, so I’m going to run a few tests-”

 “I want to see Dick.” Wally cut in with a frown. “If he’s okay, I want to see him.” 

 Wally could see the slight flex in Bruce’s jaw. The way he glanced back up at Barry. 

 “Wally-”

 “No.” Barry said sternly. “N-No. Just let him rest. He’s been through enough.” 

 “Barry, he needs to know.” Bruce frowned. “He’s going to find out eventually.” 

 Wally was getting…aggravated to say the least. He hated it when people talked around him. He hated when people acted like he wasn’t sitting in the room. 

 “I want to see Dick.” Wally repeated again. 

 It went silent again. Bruce was still looking at Barry like he was trying to say something without talking. Wally still had his back to Barry, so he couldn’t actually see what his uncle was doing. He could, however, feel the tension in the room. 

 “Wally…” Bruce sighed, looking back down at his shoes for a moment before he lifted his gaze up to meet the young speedters. “Wally, I think you’ve lost about…two years of memories…” He explained slowly. 

 Two years. Two whole years he couldn’t remember. He missed Dick’s birthday. He missed out on two years of holidays and memories with his friends and family.  He felt like he was going to be sick. Plus, nobody would fucking tell him where Dick was. 

 “Y-You said Dick was okay..” Wally frowned. If he was okay, why wasn’t he here? 

 “He is okay.” Bruce reassured with a quiet sigh. “He’s alright. I promise.”

 “Wally,” Barry sighed, moving slightly so he was more in Wally’s range of sight. “Wally…you and Dick broke up.” He said slowly. “You two broke up a while ago now.”

 No. 

 No, that can’t be right. That couldn’t be right at all. He would never break up with Dick. Not ever. He loved him. God, he loved him so much it drove him insane. The thought of them not being together anymore wasn’t something that could even register on Wally’s radar. He’s been in love with Dick since he was fourteen. Stuttering and butterflies, kind of love. Can’t sleep at night, kind of love. Now, he wakes up one random day to the news they fucking broke up? 

 “That’s not funny.”  Wally whispered, shaking his head at his uncle. “T-That isn’t funny. Don’t say that. I-I want to see him. Where is he?” 

 “Wally-”

 “No! I want to see him!” Wally frowned, pulling away from his uncle and Bruce. “I-I don’t believe you! I would never fucking break up with Dick! I want to see him!” 

 Bruce was frowning. Not the  Batman frown of disapproval he usually got. A real sad Bruce frown. “Okay..” He said softly. “Alright…Why don’t you try and rest a little bit and I’ll go get him, okay? Come on, Barry.” He sighed before quickly dragging Barry out of the room and into the hallway. Once the door was shut, Barry ran his hands down his face. 

 “He doesn’t….He doesn’t remember? How could he not remember? Do you remember what it was like two years ago? He was a fucking wreck for months, Bruce. I-I can’t watch him go through that again.” Barry said quickly. He was starting to fucking vibrate where he stood from the pure stress and anxiety of it all. “He’s a speedster! We heal! It’s like half of our whole thing! This shouldn’t be happening. This can’t  be happening.” 

 Bruce paused for a few moments, trying his best to think. He does remember. He remembers very clearly what their breakup was like. Dick was a mess. Wally was a mess. The Titans fell apart. Their friends picked sides and everything was fucking horrible for everyone involved. And now, Wally has no memory of it happening. He still thinks the two of them are together when in reality, Bruce isn’t sure they’ve spoken to each other since. “I do remember.” He sighed. “But he will not believe it if the news isn’t coming from Dick. He needs to hear it from him. I’m still trying to work out what happened and why he isn’t healing like he should but it’s going to take some time.” He said carefully. Dick was at the manor. He went out for Bruce the night before while he stayed at the watchtower and tried to fix things from the mission gone wrong. “I’ll talk to Dick. Stay here. Give him some space and I’ll be back…at some point.” He said before turning on his heel and walking away without looking back. 

—

 Dick had no problem filling in for Bruce every once and a while. He really didn’t. But, he usually knew why he was filling in for Bruce. Not this time. All he got was a phone call asking to put the suit on and then he was radio silent. It must have been some JL mission that was top secret or something. He didn’t really know. He was laying on the couch in the sun room when his father came back and walked into the room with tense shoulders. “Hey, B.” Dick hummed, sitting up slightly. “How did your thing go?” 

 Bruce wasn’t looking at him. That was always a horrible sign. His father’s eyes were locked on a very interesting piece of dust on the carpet. It instantly shot anxiety up Dick’s spine. He shot up, getting on his feet in seconds. “What happened?” He asked quickly. “Is everyone okay? Did something happen?”

 “I need you to sit down.” Bruce said softly before slowly making his way over to a chair. 

 Bruce kept getting flashbacks to two years ago. Dick in hysterics. Sobbing on the bathroom floor so hard he was throwing up. It was…awful. Horrible. There was literally nothing Bruce could do to help his kid and it was killing him. The thought of having to go through something similar all over again was making his stomach flip. But, Wally refused to believe the truth from him or Barry. This was the only option he could think of. Wally wouldn’t trust anyone else. 

 Dick slowly sat back on the couch. He had worry and concern written all over his face. He kept clenching and uncleaning his hands. “What happened..?” Dick asked again slowly. Just do it. Like ripping off a band-aid. 

 “Something happened the other day..” Bruce said softly. “There was…an accident on a mission.” He said, squeezing his eyes shut. Memories flashed behind his eyelids, even though he was trying so hard not to think about it. Dick lost so much weight because he refused to eat anything. He was making himself sick. “A few people were on a mission and…and Wally got injured.” 

 He could see the way Dick tensed up at the name. His spine locked up. His jaw clenched. His hands were balled up so tight they were shaking on his lap. “O-Okay…He’s a speedster. He’s fine. Right..?” Dick said carefully. His voice was strained. He didn’t want to talk about it. About him. 

 It was an unspoken rule. Nobody could bring it up. Bring him up. At least when Dick was around. It never ended well. Even if Wally was mentioned in passing in a story, Dick would get up and leave the room the second his name was out in the air. The family couldn’t talk about him. Not ever. Jason did once. A few months after the breakup. It didn’t end well. Dick was still in a…fragile state. Jason only mentioned he had Wally’s help with a case. Dick ended up yelling about god only knows what and storming out in tears. 

 “He’s…he isn’t fine.” Bruce frowned. “He took a hit from a witch and went through a wall. He hit his head and was unconscious for a few days.” He explained. Dick was white as a sheet. He honestly looked seconds away from being sick. 

 “S-So? What does that have to do with me?” Dick snapped, but his voice wavered. It was hard for Bruce to see him like that. Defensive like he didn’t care one bit but his son never had the talent for keeping true emotion out of his voice. He was worried. Bruce could hear it even if Dick liked to pretend it wasn’t there. 

 “Dick-”

 “What does that have to do with me?” Dick snapped again. “I-I mean, that sucks but it’s not my problem. It really isn’t my problem, so why even tell me?”

 “He lost his memory.” Bruce frowned. “He woke up and had no idea what happened. Whatever spell hit him-” He sighed, looking over at his son. He had to deliver some of the worst news and then he had to ask for a favor. It wasn’t exactly something he wanted to do. “He thinks you two are still together.” 

 Dick’s eyes went wide. He started to frantically shake his head as he shot up and paced around the room. “Dick, I tried to tell him. I swear I tried to keep you out of it. But he doesn’t believe Barry and I.” Bruce said softly. 

 “No!” Dick snapped. “No! N-No!” He was running a hand through his hair and tugging on the strands. “I’m not going to see him. I won’t. You can’t make me! J-Just keep telling him! He’ll figure it out!” 

 “He won’t believe it if it’s not coming from you…” 

 “No! Alright? What happened with Wally was-” Dick started before the tears started to well up in his eyes. “It was the hardest thing in my life. I can’t do it again. I won’t.” 

 Bruce frowned. He looked up at his son for a moment before nodding his head and standing up from his chair. He wasn’t going to force Dick to do anything. He couldn’t. He was already trying to figure out another plan. “Okay.” Bruce said softly. “Okay, I’ll figure it out, alright?” Dick just looked over at him, tears glistening in his eyes. Almost the spitting image of himself from a few years ago. His son, his boy, looked so broken. 

 “He really…doesn’t remember..? Anything..?” Dick asked quietly. His voice cracked. Bruce’s heart broke just a little more. 

 “Once he was awake enough, you were the first thing he asked about.” Bruce said sadly. “When he found out he was in an accident, his first question was if you were okay.”  Bruce doesn’t know why he said it. He shouldn’t have. He really fucking shouldn’t have said it, even if it was true. Dick’s shoulders fell. He looked up towards the ceiling and squeezed his eyes shut before a sob was escaping past his lips. He looked hurt. He looked broken all over again. 

 Dick wasn’t lying when he said it was the worst thing he ever had to go through. He was still a little kid when his parents died. He was angry and upset but he learned how to grow from it. When Jason died, his world came apart. He blamed himself and he was so angry all the time, Bruce was worried. Jason’s death manifested itself in pure anger, rage and regret he couldn’t deal with. After a while, it got better. Dick learned how to grieve and very slowly started to accept what happened. After Wally, Dick was broken beyond belief. It destroyed him. He wasn’t the same person afterwards. He still wasn’t, and Bruce just had to reopen that wound and poke at it.

 Bruce took a few steps closer before he pulled his eldest son into his arms. He wrapped his arms around Dick and simply just held him as he cried. 

 He never did find out what exactly happened. Dick refused to talk about it. One day he showed up to the manor in shambles and told them he and Wally had broken up. That was it. No explanation as to why or any information on what happened. Just that it was over and his world was crashing down around him. He never asked. He couldn’t. Any mention of it sent Dick into hysterics for a year. After that, he would just leave the room. As far as Bruce knows, nobody had any answers. Their friends didn’t even know what happened. Apparently, neither of the boys talked about it. Ever. 

 Dick sobbed. He held onto the back of Bruce’s shirt and just took the time to cry into his father’s shirt. 

 Wally doesn’t remember the past two years. He doesn’t remember the break up or the aftermath. He woke up and his first thought was to ask where Dick was. To make sure he was okay. Bruce’s words kept replaying in his mind. Over and over again as he cried. 

 The first time he had to go through this, it almost killed him. He’s not sure he can stand to do it a second time. 

Chapter Text

 Wally wasn’t sure how much time had passed. He told Barry to just leave him alone. He didn’t want any visitors. All he wanted to do was lay in bed and think. He tried so fucking hard to think. Bruce’s words kept playing in his head, over and over again. He and Dick broke up. A while ago apparently. Wally was using every drop of energy he had trying to think of any reason that could have been the truth. He kept coming up empty handed. 

 He loved Dick. More than life. They never fought. They lived together and worked together and they were simply just so in love, Wally couldn’t think of a single reason they would have broken up. He would sooner die than cheat on Dick. He would never. He couldn’t even wrap his head around the possibility of Dick cheating. It just was something that wouldn’t happen. So, he still couldn’t find a single reason their relationship would have ended. They never fought, nobody would cheat, they were still so in love. Wally knows they were in love. He knew without a doubt. Somebody could argue that maybe Dick was the one who stopped. That maybe, his heart just wasn’t in it anymore, but Wally knew it wasn’t true. He knew it. They had been together for years. They both spent their early teenage years pining for one another and still danced around the kitchen at night. They still went out for date nights and got each other flowers. Wally would come home from a mission and kiss Dick’s face silly. He’d walk through their front door just to hold onto him and never let go. 

 Dick was the same way. He was always the same way. When it was Dick on a mission for a few days, he’d march through the front door, right up to Wally and kiss him like he just came home from war. He’d whisper about how much he missed him and how hard it was to be apart for so long. He’d hold onto Wally like he was afraid he would disappear.  They loved each other. So fucking much. 

 His head was spinning. Running through different scenarios over and over again until his door opened and shut again with a soft click. For a moment, he thought it might be Barry again. Before Wally would even take in a breath to tell him to get the fuck out, he turned his head and saw the same boy he fell in love with. 

 “Dick.” Wally breathed out. The former Robin looked like he had been crying. It made Wally’s heart clench in a way he didn’t like. He hated seeing Dick cry. 

 Dick didn’t say anything for a moment. He just stood there, back pressed against the door and looking at Wally like he was a dead man resurrected. Wally didn’t like that either. He didn’t like Dick looking at him like he was a stranger when in Wally’s mind, he was just waiting for Dick to come home a few hours ago. 

 “D-Dick-”

 “Bruce told me you were in an accident.” Dick said bluntly. His tone was calculated. Distant and cold in a way that made Wally frown. The speedster nodded his head anyway as his lips tugged downward. 

 Wally couldn’t get himself to speak. This was wrong. It all felt wrong. All he wanted to do was grab Dick and hold on. Hug him so tight and bury his face in his black hair. Breathe in the smell of Dick’s shampoo and laundry detergent. The smell of home. But, Dick was trying to keep as much space between them as humanly possible. Wally still couldn’t speak. He couldn’t get his mouth to move or get any words to form on his tongue. He wanted to fucking cry again. 

 Dick took a second before speaking again. His eyes weren’t so sad anymore. Like he flipped a switch somewhere in his head to shut down whatever emotions he was feeling. Maybe it was easier for him that way. Maybe. 

 “We broke up.” Dick said bluntly, keeping his hands balled up by his side. “Bruce said he told you and you didn’t believe him. So, I’m here to tell you.” He said it like it was so casual. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. He said it like he didn’t care that Wally’s heart was breaking in his chest and he was struggling to breathe. 

 “No.” The word left his mouth before he even knew it was happening. Wally shook his head, trying to bite back the bile that was rising in his throat at the words coming from his boyfriend’s mouth. Ex-boyfriend. “N-No. I don’t believe you.” 

 Dick looked…shocked. Kind of. Maybe he wasn’t expecting Wally to say anything. Or hoping he wouldn’t say anything. 

 “No. I love you.” Wally frowned. “I love you-”

 “Stop.” Dick snapped, squeezing his eyes shut. “Don’t say that. Just…stop.” 

 “No.” Wally frowned again before pushing himself off his bed. His head was still throbbing but that wasn’t important. Nothing in the world was more important than this. “No, I love you. W-We couldn’t have broken up.” Dick tried to take a step back before the backs of his heels were hitting the wooden door. Wally took another step forward. Dick was trying to keep the distance between them, but he wasn’t leaving the room. His hands didn’t reach for the handle. He just stood there, refusing to look Wally in the eyes as he stepped closer and closer. “I love you.” Wally frowned again. He was only a few more steps away. One or two big strides and he would be right where he wanted to be. Just a few more steps and it would feel like coming home. 

 Dick was frowning. Looking everywhere but Wally’s face as he fought back hard against the tears threatening to gather in his eyes. 

 “I love you, Dick.” Wally said softly, taking one more step closer. “There isn’t a single universe where we don’t belong together…” He said slowly. “Just-Just look at me. Please.” He begged. Really and honestly begged. Dick still wasn’t looking at him and it was…killing him. “I wake up two years in the future to the worst news I’ve ever had in my entire life. Just look at me. Please, baby.” He didn’t mean for it to slip out. He didn’t really care that it did either. But, his voice cracked on the word nonetheless. He was begging. Seconds away from getting on his knees and begging for Dick to just look at him before the other boy finally lifted his gaze with misty eyes. Wally couldn’t help but stare back in pure awe. The same blue eyes he fell in love with were finally staring right back at him. Only now, they were filled with tears and a lot of years of pain that Wally couldn’t keep up with. 

 “Wally-” Dick started before his voice cracked. He took a second. Cleared his throat to try and compose himself. “Wally, we broke up. It’s over, okay? That’s all I came here for.” He still wasn’t leaving. Still wasn’t reaching for the door. He just…stood there and really looked at Wally for the first time in two years. Dick had gone to great lengths to make sure they haven’t seen each other since the break up. It was the first time in two whole years Dick got to see him. 

 Wally hasn’t changed much. He still had that stupid mullet and the same mossy green eyes that always made Dick weak in the knees. He was still the same Wally no matter how much time had passed. Same dusting of freckles all over his face that Dick used to trace with his fingers late at night. He was still his Wally.

 No. 

Not his Wally anymore. 

“Tell me why.” Wally demanded softly. “Because I’ve been trying to make sense of it and I can’t. I can’t imagine a single reason we wouldn’t be together, so tell me why.” 

Dick watched as the Speedster took the one final step closer. He did it slowly. Giving Dick time to get away if he wanted to. He didn’t. He stayed right where he was. Inches away from the boy he fell in love with and the same one who still haunted his dreams. 

“I-It happened so long ago…” Dick mumbled out quietly, averting his gaze back to the floor to avoid the other boy’s gaze. “It doesn’t matter-”

“It’s the only thing that matters.” Wally cut in with a deep frown. “You are the one thing in this world that I care about the most. Don’t try and say it doesn’t matter.” Dick squeezed his eyes shut to try and fight off some of the tears. It wasn’t working well. A few single tear drops rolled down his cheek anyway. Wally carefully and slowly reached up. Once again, giving Dick enough time to move away. He still didn’t. Wally so  carefully used his thumb to lightly brush the tears away, but he didn’t try to make Dick look at him. But, he didn’t move his hand away from his face either. Dick had to use every fiber of his being not to lean into the touch. He wanted to. God, he fucking wanted to. 

“I-I can’t do this. I can’t do this.” Dick breathed out. Before Wally could even register it, Dick was spinning around and bolting out of the door. Wally blinked a few times before he was jogging after him.  Dick was already speedwalking down the hall and past the prying eyes of their friends and teammates. 

“Dick!” Wally called out in a panic. “N-No! Wait!” Dick didn’t stop. He had to stop him. He had to. Wally took in a single breath before he tried to speed off down the hallway. It…it didn’t work. He just…glitched. Like the speedforce was blocking him out. He was starting to panic and Dick was getting further and further away. “Baby, please stop!” Walle cried out. Before he could even try to actually sprint down the hall without his powers, Connor’s arms were wrapping around his middle and holding him back. “NO! No, let me go!” He begged as an ugly sob left his mouth and echoed down the hallway. “No! Dick, please! B-Baby, please come back! Please!” He sobbed, trying and failing to fight against Connor’s grip. 

Everything else was just fading away. The faces of their friends in the hallway started to blur. All other sounds were turning into static as all of his senses tuned into Dick. He was still walking, not looking back as Wally literally cried out for him. “NO! No!” He sobbed. It was an ugly cry. His voice was cracking like he had swallowed gravel. All of that pain he couldn’t even remember was pouring out of him as tears blurred his vision. 

“It’s okay.” Connor said softly, tightening his hold slightly. Wally’s legs gave out from under him. Connor slowly lowered them both to the floor as Wally watched Dick turn the corner and out of sight. 

He was gone. 

Gone. 

The wrecked sob that left his mouth turned into static in his ears as he curled up on the floor and cried. 

Heaving sobs.

 Gasping for breath he couldn’t catch.

—

As Dick rounded the corner, he could hear Wally’s sobs and begs bounce off the walls of the Watchtower. Kori was beside him in seconds, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and quickly ushering him to the zeta tubes. Every single sob that left Wally’s mouth caused Dick to flinch. Every single plea followed him down the hallway and sunk so deeply into his bones it was causing physical pain. Once the two of them were in the tube and the door shut, Kori pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Are you alright..?” She asked softly. The second the words came out of her mouth, Dick finally broke. His arms flew around her middle to hug her back and he finally let all of the emotion pour out of him. Everything he’s been holding in for so long came flooding back. Memories of that night lingered in his ears. Wally crying. Dick yelling. Doors slamming and hateful words flying through the air. The look on Wally’s face was burned behind his eyelids almost every night since then. The look on his face. The betrayal in his eyes. Even now, the look of pure love that Dick hadn’t seen in years was dancing behind closed eyes. 

Wally.

His Wally. 

His childhood best friend. His first love. His one and only true love. The boy his entire world revolved around. The boy he planned a future with. 

Dick let Kori hug him as he let all of those emotions pour out. Gagging on ugly sobs getting stuck in his throat. Kori just pressed her cheek into the top of his hair and let him cry it all out. Holding onto him just like she did two years ago.

When they broke up, their friends treated it like picking parents in a divorce. They basically were. None of them knew the truth, but they all picked a person to side with. Assuming the other had been the cause. Kori, Rachel, Gar, Kyle and his brothers all sided with Dick. They didn’t even need a reason. Once they found out about the breakup, they were at his side. Connor, Roy, Donna, M’gann, Artemis and Zatanna all immediately assumed Dick was in the wrong and sided with Wally without question. 

Not only did Dick lose a boyfriend, he lost his best friend. Wally was his childhood best friend. Nobody in the world knew him better. That fact is still true. But, Kori was always a close second and slid into the position as best as she could. Dick was thankful to have her as a friend. He loved her. Especially in moments like this. She didn’t try to pry. She never asked for details. She simply stood there and was a steady rock as Dick broke down. 

He was right. When he told Bruce he couldn’t go through with this again, he was right. It was almost just as horrible as the last time. Only this time, he knew what to expect. He had already been through it before. It didn’t make it hurt any less though. Not one bit. 

It felt as though Dick’s heart was literally breaking apart in his chest. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak. He could barely live. Every inhale burned his throat. His head was starting to pound from how hard he was crying and he couldn’t get the tears to stop. Every time he tried, Wally’s face was dancing in his mind. The same broken look that made Dick want to rip his skin off and burn himself alive for being the cause of that pain all because he had to be the one to remind him of the worst day in both of their lives. 

He felt like a monster. Only, it would be easier if Wally thought he was one. Maybe he does now. But, having Wally look at him the way he was and whispering over and over again about how much he loved him was eating him alive. So close but still so fucking far away. Close enough to touch but not really. 

He was right there. Right in front of his face. Hand placed on his cheek like he still thought Dick was the most precious thing in the universe. 

A feeling Dick missed. So much. A feeling Dick would kill a man to feel again sometimes. On hard nights when all he wants to do is curl up in bed with the love of his life and he can’t, it feels like his body is being crushed by the sun. A weight so heavy he didn’t know if he could live with it. 

Sometimes, he truly missed Wally so much it made him sick. That sinking feeling would creep back in. That longing for something he couldn’t have anymore and the memories that came with it. On the really bad days, Dick had to rush to the nearest bathroom before he threw up from it all. 

He missed Wally. More than anything in this life or the next. Dick knows deep down, he’s always going to feel that way. He’s always going to miss his laugh and his light touches. Miss his stupid jokes and his stupid hair. He will always miss coming home to find him on the couch with a smile on his face and arms wide open for Dick to slide right into. 

Dick Grayson knew so deep in his bones, he was going to miss Wally West until the day he died. Walking away from him in the hallway was the second hardest thing he ever had to do. Breaking up with Wally in the first place is always going to be number one. 

Chapter Text

Barry still dreams about that night. He woke up to the phone call from Wally. He was crying so hard he couldn’t even speak. The only words he managed to make out were “Dick left”. Barry wasted no time. The fastest man alive and he didn’t even stop to change out of his pajamas before he was bolting off to Wally and Dick’s house. It took him seconds but they were the longest seconds of his life. He zipped through the front door and was met with the sight of his nephew curled up on the floor in hysterics. 

He didn’t realize until later on, he didn’t even stop to tell Iris what was going on. One phone call and he was gone and out the door. 

Barry fell to the floor, gathering his nephew up in his arms and trying to push some of his red hair off of his face. It didn’t help much. It didn’t really do anything at all. Wally’s face was splotchy, red and soaked with tears. Wally just clung onto his uncle. Holding on like he was still a little boy who wanted his dad. Because that’s what he was. Genetics be damned, Wally was his boy. His. 

“Oh, my baby.” Barry whispered softly. The sight was…awful. Besides the fact that Wally was in shambles, half the house was covered in clothes. A few pictures were knocked over and dinner sat untouched on the table, already cold. Barry has no idea how long Wally had been like this before he called. It could very well have been hours since things happened. Barry held it all together. He held back his emotions as best as he could while trying to console the boy in his arms. After a while, Wally blacked out. He was mid cry when his eyes just slipped shut and he went silent simply because he had been crying so hard for so long. Only then, did Barry let a few of his own tears slip down his cheeks. He didn’t move though. He stayed right where he was on the cold tile, holding Wally together like his life depended on it. A few hours passed before he eventually moved. Carefully scooping Wally up in his arms and gently laying him down on the couch. He zipped around for a few seconds to clean up the mess the house had been left in and covered his nephew in a blanket before he called Iris to tell her what happened. It wasn’t much. Barry really didn’t have anything else to go off of. All he told her was that the two of them had broken up and he was bringing Wally back home. She didn’t ask any questions. She didn’t need to. All she needed to know was that her nephew was in pain and she was off to set up Wally’s old room. Change the sheets, give everything a quick dust and make the room liveable again. 

Wally didn’t get out of bed for days after that. Once Barry got him back home and into bed, that is exactly where he stayed and rotted away. 

Iris would bring him meals, leaving them on the nightstand with a kiss to his forehead. The food always remained untouched. Wally stayed facing the wall with his back towards the door. The only confirmation they had that he wasn’t dead was the way he would curl up tighter when people came in the room and the fact any glass of water left with his meals had a few sips taken out of it while the food remained untouched. 

After the first three days, Iris slipped into the room. She didn’t bother trying to bring food this time. She didn’t try to coax him into talking either. She simply slid onto the bed, wrapping her arms around her nephew and placing a few kisses into his filthy hair. Wally’s breath hitched but he never flinched away from the contact. He just let silent tears stream down his face as his aunt gently brushed through his hair and pulled the blankets up higher. 

Barry watched from the doorway in silence. He could see the silent shake of Wally’s shoulders as he cried into his pillow. He could hear the quiet whispers of Iris’ voice as she so gently tried to make things right. She couldn’t. She knew she couldn’t. But she was going to try anyway.

—

Dick had spent the night at Kori’s apartment. Curled up on her couch with a blanket as the two of them sat in silence. “This is all my fault.” He finally managed to whisper out. Barely audible. His throat was raw from the crying and his eyes burned from the tears. His body just felt…exhausted. 

“Do not say that.” Kori said gently. Dick had his head resting in her lap, facing towards the big window to watch the light rain land on the glass. His eyes tracked the movement. Watching each raindrop roll down until it was out of sight before his eyes were glued to another to repeat the action over and over again.  He could feel Kori’s fingers in his hair. Gently combing through and scratching his scalp. “It is…an unfortunate place for you both to be in. But it is nobody's fault.” She hummed. Dick shook his head. 

He had been able to avoid the silent questions for so long. Besides himself, only two people knew what happened that night. Two people knew that Dick was the one who broke up with Wally and not the other way around. Wally was one of the two. Besides himself, only one person knew the real reason why. It was a secret he kept close to his chest. Locked in a box somewhere deep down in a place he didn’t like to think about. 

“It is my fault.” Dick mumbled. “I broke up with him, Kori.” The fingers in his hair stopped moving. “I-It’s all my fault. All of it. I broke up with him. I’m the one who broke his heart and I had to do it all over again.” He frowned. Kori paused. She didn’t know. Nobody did. Except for one other person because the secret would have eaten Dick alive if he didn’t tell someone. 

“I did not know that, but it is still not your fault. Sometimes, things are just not meant to be.” Kori said softly. Dick went quiet again after that. Snapping his lips shut and watching the rain fall until he passed out on Kori’s couch. She was right. Sometimes, things just weren’t meant to be. This was not one of those things. 

Even now, Dick knew so deeply in his soul that he and Wally were meant to be. They were written in the stars and made to love each other in every single lifetime. Every single universe. There was no other way. There simply was no Dick Grayson without Wally West by his side. Since the breakup, Dick could actually feel that a piece of himself was missing. 

When Dick met Wally, everything just seemed to click into place. He was only a kid. Only twelve and Wally was just fourteen, even if he seemed a lot older back then. At the time, Dick couldn’t figure out why he felt the way he did. Sometimes, he would hear people talk about finding their best friends. That’s all he thought it was. Meeting Wally changed his life. They were fast friends after they met. Always together. It was rare to find one without the other far behind. 

A year or two later, things started to change. Dick was a few weeks shy of turning fourteen. On his way to being a freshman and starting high school. Wally was already sixteen and a junior. When they were younger, there were only a few times their small age gap really showed itself. Dick still remembered the first time it made him feel bad. 

“You’re really going?” Dick asked, scrunching his nose up as he hung upside down from the couch in Mount Justice. Wally was sprawled out on the floor, hands behind his head and his homework long forgotten. 

“Yeah man, of course! It’s prom!” Wally said, waving his hands around to make his point. “It’s a big thing. Everyone at my school is going.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Dick mumbled, turning his head to look over at his best friend. “Are you gonna go with your friends from school?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Wally chuckled, shaking his head and shrugging a single shoulder. 

“Nah. I’m going with this girl Casey from my history class. I asked her out last week and she already has a dress picked out.” Wally said casually. For something that was said so casually, Dick’s heart stopped. He didn’t know why he would have thought differently. Of course Wally would have a date. It was prom. Almost everyone went with a date. But the thought of Wally going out with some girl to prom made his stomach sink. 

“Oh.” Dick mumbled softly. 

“She’s really cool.” Wally shrugged. “I think you’d like her. She’s funny and nice and everything.” He hummed.  He moved on like it was nothing. Like Dick’s heart wasn’t breaking in his chest for no reason at all. 

He didn’t understand why. All he knew was the thought of Wally going to prom with some random girl from his school made him want to cry. So, that’s what he did. When he went to bed that night, Dick silently cried into his pillow for hours. 

 A week later, Wally walked into the room with a big smile and showed everyone a picture from prom. Him in a suit, smiling at the camera with his arms wrapped around some beautiful girl with dark hair and a nice smile. The two of them had their faces squished together. Cheek to cheek and grinning at the camera like it was the best night in their lives. Dick forced a smile. Asked him if he had fun. Told a lie that he was excited for his own prom in a few years. Lied that he already knew which girl he wanted to ask to go with him and everything. 

  It wasn’t until a few years later Dick finally learned the truth while cooking dinner one night. At the start of his and Wally’s relationship, he mentioned it off handedly. Dick told him how learning about his prom date crushed him. It was the start of him realizing he might have viewed Wally as more than just a friend and the thought of him going to prom with some other girl broke his heart. Wally smiled at him then, even though Dick’s back was to him. He walked right up behind his boyfriend, wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. 

 “Oh, baby.” Wally chuckled. “That’s so cute. It’s really sweet.” Dick tried to shrug him off with a frown. 

 “No it’s not. It’s embarrassing-” Wally didn’t budge. Kept his arms firmly around Dick’s middle and let out a light laugh. 

 “Casey’s gay.” Wally cut in. “She wasn’t out yet. I knew and I knew how much prom meant to her. She really wanted to go, so I asked her.” He explained softly, swaying the two of them side to side as Dick stirred the sauce in the pot. “I’ve never had eyes for anyone but you.” He whispered, leaving a few feather light kisses on Dick’s shoulder. 

 It was the truth through and through. He really never had eyes for anyone else in the world other than  Dick. 

 For Wally, he always knew. From the second he met the sarcastic boy from Gotham, his heart was set. 

 Wally remembered every single thing about that day. Every single little detail. The sound of Dick’s laugh was etched into his bones.  Wally heard his laugh before he even saw him and once he did see him, Wally could feel the blush creeping up his neck. The most perfect boy in the whole world was smiling at him, hand outstretched. 

 “I’m Robin.” Dick smiled. “You must be Kid Flash. I’ve seen a lot of the work you do. I’m impressed.” 

 That was it. The beginning of the end. Wally was hooked from the second they met. Even at just fourteen, he knew there would never be anyone else. This was it for him. 

 In the beginning, he had an easier time with it. He tried to tell himself that he was okay with only being friends. As long as he and Dick were friends, everything was fine. Everything would be alright. 

 Until some time passed and his feelings were getting harder and harder to ignore. Every little brush of their hands. Every single sleep over at the manor. Every sparring session.  All of it sent Wally’s stomach into a frenzy of butterflies. As time passed, the thought of remaining just friends with Dick was starting to eat him alive. He wanted more. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and remind him every single second how much he loved him. But, he couldn’t. 

 If he stayed quiet, it would kill him eventually. 

 If he spoke up, he risked losing Dick. Either entirely or changing their friendship forever. It was a risk Wally didn’t dare take. He couldn’t risk it. Not until he did anyway. 

 Wally left the halls of Mount Justice early in the day to get ready for his senior prom. His parents forced him to take their friend's daughter. Some mean girl from the grade below that wore too much perfume and was rude to almost everyone she talked to.  Sasha. Wally…didn’t like her. He was originally just going to go with Casey again. At least he would be going with a friend. In his dreams, he would have taken Dick. 

 Instead, he was forced to bring a girl he didn’t even like being around. She had spent the whole night complaining about the music and texting on her phone. It was awful. The whole night was awful. The two of them had taken a few pictures just to make their parents happy. Even the feeling of her dress under Wally’s fingers as they posed was unpleasant. 

 Sasha had left him half way through to go flirt with some of the other boys in attendance. Wally didn’t mind one bit. He said his goodbyes to his friends, including Casey. He leaned down to her, wrapping her in a single arm hug before he planned to just run back to his room at MJ and hide away in his room. Casey flashed him a sad smile, leaning up to give him a hug before slipping her flask in his back pocket. “You look like you need it more than I do. I’ll see you on Monday." She whispered in his ear before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

 Wally made his way outside of the school, but instead of running back, he sat himself on the bleachers and drank. It didn’t do anything. His body burned through the alcohol before it could even do anything, but he drank until the flask was empty anyway. Senior prom was supposed to be a night to remember. A final goodbye before graduation. Instead, it was a night Wally wanted to forget. 

 He sat on those bleachers and looked out over the empty football field. All he could think about was how this night would have turned out if he took Dick instead. 

Wally didn’t make it back to Mount Justice until long after the prom ended. 

He walked through the door with his tie loose around his neck and shirt untucked. Everyone else was in bed besides Dick. It was 2am, but the Bats never had a good sleep schedule anyway. Dick was on the couch, typing away a report on his laptop when his head shot up. He flashed Wally a quick smile before turning his head back down to his work. 

“Did you have fun? How was Sasha?” Dick asked casually. He didn’t sound like he actually wanted to know. Wally could hear it. Dick was his best friend. He could read him better than anyone. That didn’t really matter though. The second the words left Dick’s mouth, Wally broke down. His shoulders slumped and all he could do was cry. He stood by the door and just fucking cried. 

Dick was in front of him in seconds with a concerned frown. For the longest time, Wally was the taller of the two. As the years passed by, Dick got taller, and now the two of them were practically eye to eye. 

“W-What happened?” Dick asked quickly. He hands his hands on Wally’s face before he could even think about it. He gently cupped his face in his hands and wiped a few tears away with the pad of his thumb. “Did something happen? Are you hurt?” Dick frowned. He was starting to panic. He didn’t really know what to do with panic. He was Batman’s son. Trained to be calm under pressure. But, Wally never cried. Never. The whole time Dick knew him, he’d seen the speedster cry once. Only a few tears after a particularly bad fight with his father, but as soon as the tears came, they left. Wally wiped them on his sleeve, plastered on a smile and asked Dick if he wanted to order pizza. 

This wasn’t like that. Wally was crying. Really crying. Fat tears rolling down his cheeks and hiccuping on his breath kind of crying. Wally didn’t say anything. Dick’s not sure he could even if he wanted to. All he did was reach a hand up to wrap around Dick’s wrist as he cradled his face. Not to pull his hands away, but to hold it there. Although, it only seemed to make Wally cry harder. 

“Wals, please talk to me.” Dick frowned, using the sleeve of his own shirt to try and wipe some of his friends' tears away. “Did something happen at prom? W-With Sasha? Anything?” 

“I-I wanted to go with you.” Wally managed to say through the heavy sobs. He wasn’t looking at Dick anymore, focusing his eyes on his dress shoes and Dick’s socks. Wally’s socks that Dick had stolen actually. Dick froze, but he didn’t pull away. “I-I wanted to go with you.” Wally cried again as a whole new wave of fresh tears started to drip down his neck and soak through his dress shirt. “I just wanted you to be there with me a-and now I’ve ruined everything and you won’t be my friend anymore and everything is ruined.”

He wouldn’t want to be Wally’s friend anymore? Is that really what he thought? Just hearing that Wally had wanted to take Dick to prom had him melting inside. 

Wally wanted to take him to prom. 

Dick had a tendency to think everything through before he did it. Even before he was Robin. In the circus, you always have to plan your moves before you do them. One small mistake could be disastrous, as he learned the hard way. As Robin, he had to think about everything before he did it. Kick too hard in the wrong spot and you could accidentally kill someone. Act too fast and everything could go up in smoke. Thinking things through was written into his DNA. But, Wally always had a way of bringing out the troublemaker side of Dick. 

He didn’t think about it. Not one single thought in his head before his body was moving on its own. Wally was still crying as Dick pushed himself forward and crashed their lips together. 

Wally wasn’t crying anymore. The hand he had wrapped around Dick’s wrist tensed up and squeezed, but didn’t pull away. It took Wally’s brain a few seconds to reboot and figure out what was going on before his lips started to move. His eyes slipped shut and he just melted into the kiss. His hand fell from Dick’s wrist to settle on his waist, fingers flexing in the soft material of the other boys shirt. Dick’s hands slowly left Wally’s cheeks in favor of slipping behind his head and snaking his arms around his neck, letting his fingers idly twist in the red locks at the back of his neck. 

“You can come to mine next year.” Dick whispered against his lips so softly.  “And the one after that.” He nodded before leaving a quick peck against Wally’s lips. “We can go to mine. Together.” 

They never had a big talk. Not really. The two of them never even talked about being real boyfriends. After that, they just were. 

That night, the two of them curled up together in Dick’s bed, arms and legs tangled together while sharing quick soft kisses until the sun came up and they fell asleep. 

Wally’s senior prom was one of the worst events of his life. 

However, that night, the heaviest weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He finally got to be with the one and only person he ever wanted to love. He had spent so long worried about his own feelings and worried he would ruin their friendship. All of that worry and anxiety washed away minutes after he walked through the door. That night, something clicked in Wally’s head. This was it for him. There would be nobody else in the entire world he would be able to love as much as he loved Dick Grayson. Life before Dick was a blur. Years of time that didn’t even feel real because his boy wonder wasn’t in it. Laying in that bed as Dick carefully counted every single freckle covering his face, Wally knew there wouldn’t ever be anyone after Dick Grayson either. He would marry him. He knew it so deep in his soul. He would wait, of course. Until they were both out of school, not teenagers and in better spots in life. But, Wally was going to marry that boy.