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After getting the entire crew checked out, the Roger Pirates spent another week hanging around the Twin Capes as Roger tried and failed yet again to convince Crocus to join their crew. Though this time Crocus did say he’d think about it instead of the outright no he’d given their last round to the Capes. They planned on hanging around Paradise and the Blues til the boys were older anyway and already established Pirate Friendly doctors on each of the Paradise islands thanks to their puttering around. It wasn’t ideal but they could leave having an on crew medic for a while yet.
It was well agreed that after the last couple months that they could all use a break so once all the updated crew files were stored back on the ship and all medicines had been filled with enough to last at least six months the crew set off to one of their favorite vacation islands without hesitation. Even following an eternal log pose to avoid hopping island to island it would still take nearly a month to reach Little Garden especially after a quick stop at an Autumn Island to buy more apples than humanly healthy for Yui to make some brew up for their giant friends.
Though their trip to Little Garden was also the place that Roger and Rayleigh decided to spoil their husband, even though it had been weeks since Rayleigh brought Blue on board, their Passion was still mad at them. They could tell when they woke to find him out of bed in the mornings, working on reports or taking watch instead of staying with them, with how he stopped bringing them cups of coffee or a small snack throughout the day.
They tried to do the same for him that he’d always done appearing randomly with his favorite treats or a drink while he was on watch but it didn’t do much good. The gratefulness of him no longer avoiding their bed wasn’t much in comparison to how miserable they felt knowing he was still angry with them. They didn’t really know what else to do to fix it though. They had apologized countless times by this point and had been doing better. Rayleigh focused mostly on training Blue to get control of his observation and handling as much of the paperwork as he could.
Roger sighed as he sat in his empty chair in their office, a tight resigned look on his face. “I know why he's still mad.”
“Yeah?” Rayleigh huffed softly as he continued filing away reports. “Do tell, because we’ve apologized for everything he’s yelled at us about lately. I spend all my free time teaching the boys their lessons and training Blue. He’s gotten his range compressed down to half the ship by the way. He’s progressing extremely well for his age.”
“Leigh, he's doing both our roles.” Roger sighed. “I've been keeping Red entertained while you've been with Blue and by the time lessons are done it's close to dinner time and we get the kids ready for bed, before dinner and then we crash. I thought we were doing better too but obviously not, he's just gotten better about hiding how busy he's been.”
“There’s only so much we can do about that!” Rayleigh exclaimed in frustration. “I keep the boys the entirety of the morning and do paperwork while they do their studies and then send Red your way for distraction while I train Blue because both you and Gaban are shit at training others for the terrifying talent you both have in haki. They’re five and six! We all agreed from the beginning we wouldn’t just pawn our kids off on the crew!”
“They’re our sons. Ours and yes, the crew adores them and gladly helps but it is not in their job description to raise our kids! Hell, some of them don’t even raise their kids.” Rayleigh continued reaching up to yank harshly at his hair in an attempt to ground himself before he worked into an anxiety attack of his own. “I could send Red to Ga-chan and let you supervise Blue I guess since it’s mostly just practice now and tear through paper work but even that is a bandaid. I still have to actually teach him and it’s only a matter of time before Red decides he wants his haki activated out of jealousy of Blue’s abilities. Abilities that he only has because some sick fuck decided to hurt my fucking son!!!”
“Calm the fuck down, you'll send said son into an anxiety attack.” Roger hissed softly.
Rayleigh groaned and threw his glasses on the table. “Fuck, nothing we do seems to be right. I'm hoping once it settles down and Blue feels more comfortable with us it'll be okay, that or what Gaban really needs is a good fuck and I know that if I even suggest you take him and do that while I watch the kids it’ll only end in a fight. Little Garden can’t come soon enough. Think we could stay for more than just a week?”
“We could probably stretch it into two. Crocus did give the boys the vaccine gamut when I mentioned that was going to be our rest island so they should be safe from anything catching.” Roger mused. “Maybe we should head to one of the Blues after or even the Calm Belt. I’m not in any hurry to see the New World just yet we could stall til the boys are seven or eight even.”
“We haven’t been back west since God Valley.” Rayleigh acknowledged. “I know Momora has been missing his wife something fierce. It’d take us a couple months sailing to reach so we’d be due another longer break by the time we arrived.”
“Maybe Spencer will be able to take Blue for a day or two for training, I know Blue's been very curious and eager to learn how to be sneaky. JB is willing to watch Red too, think you can find our field again and set up camp for a day or two?” Roger asked thoughtfully, eyeing Rayleigh. “I know being hunted and fucked into the dirt isn't something you desire, not like our Paixão.”
“I can get everything set up while you two have your little hunting game.” Rayleigh huffed fondly. “I’m well aware of how much the two of you would like to indulge that part of your D instincts. Just don’t break any bones.”
“No promises and you know it.” Roger rumbled.
They had tried it once not long after the mountain incident, Rayleigh, though enjoying himself thoroughly, disliked being taken in the dirt and Gaban ended up with a broken rib once again that sent both Roger and Rayleigh spiralling. It took a while for Gaban to break them both down to try it again, this time Rayleigh opted out of the hunting, taking more pleasure in making sure they were tended to afterwards and then fucked three ways to sunday on a nest under the stars.
“Breaks mean the closest doctor is Kureha.” Rayleigh half sang as he stood again and stretched. “I’m going to kidnap Ga-chan and the kids to wrangle him into a nap.”
“Don't bother, I already did that.” Roger stated as he moved to slump down on the couch in their office. “Threw Red at him and Blue was insisting on a nap as well for ‘Red’s Health’. All three are asleep in our bed.”
“I’ll sneak and grab his paperwork then. If I’m lucky I’ll get it knocked out by the time they wake up for lunch.” Rayleigh said, voice breaking on a small yawn.
He was tired since his insomnia had decided to act up for weeks now, leaving most of his sleep coming from Roger’s sporadic but increasing amount of narcolepsy attacks. He was almost always the one close enough to catch Roger when an attack hit, leaving him pinned beneath his husband’s bulk with little to do but take a nap for himself. He should worry more about it but when he mentioned it to Crocus before their departure the doctor decreed that both issues were just because of increased stress and would even out when everything settled again.
“You should join them.” Roger said gently far from blind to the dark circles sitting heavy beneath the copper colored eyes he so adored. “You know you need to sleep when you’re tired. Especially with your insomnia still giving you so much trouble. I can handle the paperwork, my heart.”
“Are you sure?” Rayleigh asked.
Roger shot him a look. “I know what to do, Leigh, I'm sure. Go Heart.”
Rayleigh hummed at that, leaning down to give Roger a kiss before leaving to return to their quarters. The sight that greeted him was becoming a favorite one, what with both their sons fast asleep on Gaban’s chest and his wild black hair splayed across the pillow behind him. Three of his four most precious treasures all cuddled up together and he was intent on joining in.
Quietly so as not to disturb any of the three, Rayleigh sat in the desk chair and quickly pulled his boots off before pulling his scabbard from his belt and resting it in its usual place next to Gaban’s axes. A barely there wave of haki told him that his husband was actually sleeping and hadn’t yet again accidentally slipped into any form of Sentry. Rayleigh was grateful for it as he crawled into bed and snuggled under his arm on the same side as Blue.
“What’re ya doin’, Leigh?” Gaban slurred still mostly asleep as he barely cracked one eye open.
“Joinin’ in on nap time.” Rayleigh murmured as he curled closer nuzzling his face to Gaban’s neck affectionately. “Go back to sleep, Ga-chan. Love you.”
The silence stretched so long that Rayleigh first thought Gaban wasn’t going to return the words because Rayleigh knew by his breathing that he hadn’t fallen back to sleep just yet. Eventually though, Gaban tightened the arm Rayleigh had wriggled his way under and murmured a soft ‘love you too’ back before passing right back out. Once Gaban’s breathing settled back into the steady rhythm of sleep Rayleigh released the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding and allowed unconsciousness to claim him for his own short rest.
Arriving at Little Garden was just as chaotic as any other island if not more so since they didn’t have to deal with not appearing like the lot of feral gremlins that they were. Even now Bluemarine was already hollering about getting drunk with Dorry again as the crew divided up supplies for the time they’d spend camping and partying with the two dueling giants. It was a game to them this honor battle since they saw the senselessness in continuing a duel that had already been dragging on well over fifty years at this point but still every vacation here the crew picked sides and cheered on their chosen giant in a battle that would always end in a deadlocked draw.
Rayleigh allowed them their fun knowing that the boys would be in the care of Spence and Taro for the week and both men rarely indulged in spirits enough to get anywhere near drunk. Instead he focused on packing away the furs and canopy that would make up his and his husband’s home much further inland than the rest of the crew and on the opposite side of the river to Dorry and Brogy’s own camps. Nothing they couldn’t clear in nearly an instant should their sons or the crew need them but also more than enough distance that they could actually let loose.
A shiver of anticipation shot down his spine at the thought of what the coming week held for him. He wondered if he’d last longer now that he was much stronger than their first trip here all those years ago or if being used so thoroughly by both of his husbands would have him in the same state as before after only a few days.
“Your voice is needy, meu coração.” Roger purred softly in Rayleigh’s ear as his hands dropped heavy on the shorter man’s hips, pulling him back flush to his chest in a bruisingly possessive grip. “You’re always so impatient, my heart.”
“Can you blame me for being excited, minha alegria?” Rayleigh hummed instead softly to the point he knew only Roger’s more sensitive hearing would pick it up, savoring the heat from Roger’s hands in the cool air of Little Garden’s early spring. “After all, I’m going ahead to set up camp for us and you’ll be sneaking the boys from their cuddle with our Passion and hunting him right to me. He can’t possibly stay mad at us when he’s too drunk on your cock to think straight.”
Roger shivered in pleasure and anticipation, he was correct in the celibacy but not as much as he had thought. They had snuck time for quick releases in closets and late at night but none of them had properly fucked since before Blue got on board and all three were suffering from it. Seas, he hoped this eased something in their Passion, Roger hated it when either of his husbands were upset at him.
Plus, he was starting to get worried, extremely so with how distant their Passion was being. He still joined them in bed but never stayed like normal, his four hours of sleep kicking back in. There was that hesitant look in his eyes and Voice, something that was very much reminding Roger of when they first got together and the blunder that was. He hoped and prayed to Calypso that his husband didn't start questioning his place by their side again because of all this, it would genuinely break something in him.
“Better hurry my Heart,” Roger hummed as he bit down on Rayleigh’s throat. “You have an hour, go.”
Rayleigh vanished within a blink with the pack they had been packing for the last few days. He had thankfully already said goodbyes to his sons, telling them that the three of them were going hunting for a few days and he needed to set up their camp and to have fun.
A grin pulled at Roger’s lips as he made his way towards his husband and kids, snatching up Red as he ran past the steps on the upper deck and throwing him high with a loud laugh. “Alright you little Pirates, it's time for me to steal your Da away now.”
“You’re gonna come back, right?” Blue asked nervously.
“Of course we will.” Roger huffed fondly as he crouched down in front of his oldest but newest son. “We’re just doing some hunting on the far side of the island. That’s where most of the game hangs out thanks to Dorry and Brogy’s duel. You’ll get to see some really neat looking dinosaurs while you camp out with Spence and the giants.”
“But that doesn’t mean you’ll come back.” Blue stressed, leading both men to realize it was the first time Blue would be left solely in the care of the crew for more than the time it took to finish a skirmish and clean up.
Gaban hummed and took off his glasses and held them out, watching as Blue blinked in surprise at seeing his eyes for the first time, fingers hesitantly coming up to touch them. A chuckle left Gaban as he mimed for Blue to hold out his hand and dropped them carefully in his palm.
“Look after these for me will you, I usually leave them here and they're my favourite. They're my first wedding anniversary gift and I don't want them to break or go missing, I'll know that if they're with you they'll be safe.” Gaban explained with a soft smile as he knelt down to Blue's height. “They're special, they make sure my eyes are protected from light, but I can deal a few days without them but they’re one of a kind.”
He grabbed them and opened them, holding them up for Blue to wear them, ignoring the sharp inhales from people around them. “You know how when you use your observation you feel it? Mine is visual and these help me not get overwhelmed since everyone looks like different colored fire shapes but since I’m just gonna be with your pops and Pai it’s not too bad since I’m so used to them. Think you can keep these safe for me, Bluebell?”
Buggy nodded vigorously as he allowed Gaban to put the glasses on, hands coming up to gently touch the edges of the lenses. His vision was darker but he could still see and Blue swore to himself that he would keep them safe till Gaban had returned. It was when he looked up again that he saw Gaban nod his head back towards Roger and Red so he quickly spun to look just in time to see the straw hat that Roger only removed for bed being nestled lovingly onto Shanks’ blood colored hair.
“See, nothing to worry about, Bluebell.” Gaban murmured gently. “I’ll definitely come back for my glasses and your Pai there would never leave his hat behind for long. Your pops follows wherever Roger leads us to so he’ll be right there with us when we come to gather all you boys up for a new island. Not that you had to have our stuff anyway. Haven’t we told you? You and Red are our most precious treasures. We’d never leave you behind.”
“Plus, you'll be having fun with Spencer, he said he was going to teach you a few things.” Roger chuckled as he flopped over Gaban’s back.
Blue perked up at that. “Really? Yes! Bye Pai, bye Da!”
“Did he just?” Roger gasped from where he was still laid over Gaban.
“He did. Rayleigh is gonna pout that he missed it for sure.” Gaban hummed. “Speaking of our wayward husband, where is he?”
A grin pulled at Roger’s lips as he nipped at Gaban’s jaw with a low rumble. “He’s setting up but until now and then we are hunting, meu Paixão. I will give you a moment to run, no haki allowed.”
“Why would I run off without you to hunt?” Gaban asked incredulously as the crew and their sons vanished into the woods to find the giants before their next duel. “Especially with a no haki rule. Your nose is better than mine to track game.”
Roger shot his husband a look, it wasn’t like Gaban to completely miss the point, especially when it came to sex. Never had Roger had to blatantly say it out loud what his plans were. This added to his worries but Roger wasn’t going to let it stop him and their plans.
“My Passion, my love. We have three days where we are child free.” Roger drawled slowly, stepping closer to his husband and yanking him by his sash.
“Oh… Oh! R-Right!” Gaban stammered tamping down his haki but not before the surprise in his voice touched Roger’s senses. Had it really been so long since he properly loved his husband? He knew the dark thoughts about not belonging crept up on his Passion sometimes but that had always been after nightmares not in broad daylight with their wedding bands gleaming in full view. “Can… can I use haki to track Leigh-chan so I run the right way?”
A frown tugged at Roger at that, hand coming up to cup his husband’s cheek. “You’ve never asked before the last time we did this, never have you been so hesitant.”
“You… you said no haki. I didn’t want to break your rules.” If he did what he was told they’d love him again right?
“Hm.” Roger hummed as he stared at his husband, the way Gaban stared slightly to the left, not making full eye contact. His heart constricted because this, this was his worst fear and very much like how he was in the beginning of their relationship. “Alright then.”
He yanked Gaban into his arms and threw him over his shoulder, hunting would have to wait. The three of them needed to have a serious talk before they even remotely did anything else or it could make the current situation worse and they would lose their Paixão more so and that was something Roger refused.
He had four treasures in his life right now, four things he would die for and Gaban was one of those… yet somehow, somewhere he and Rayleigh have hurt him enough that their usually joyful and minx of a husband turned meek and such a shell of himself. It reminded him too much of that night by the fire so long ago. He loved every form of Gaban endlessly but he had to admit he didn’t like the Gaban that didn’t love himself or see himself as worthy of love very much.
“Ro-chan?!” Gaban yelped, gripping hard on his husband’s shoulder to keep from falling. Had he already done something wrong again? Were they really that bored of him? “What’s… what’s wrong? I thought you wanted to hunt?”
“We will later, depending on you but you, me and Rayleigh need to have a chat because we know we’ve hurt you and these three days were supposed to be us trying to fix that but obviously we have done something severely wrong.” Roger stated firmly as he shaved and launched himself across the river towards the clearing.
Gaban stayed silent after that letting Roger run with him flopped over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. The only thing he was careful of was keeping his haki tamped down so Roger couldn’t sense his emotions. He felt like shit enough for all three of them.
Roger burst through the clearing in long strides, shocking Rayleigh who was still in the middle of setting up, he had thought that he’d have hours yet to get everything ready and perfect but here Roger was with Gaban draped over his shoulder and a frown marring his usually cheery face. His gaze flickered between Roger’s frown and the slumped form of their husband who was quiet and back.
“What’s happened?” He asked slowly, placing the stack of wood down.
“I decided a talk would be best before any fun today.” Roger hummed as he gently set Gaban down on the pile of furs Rayleigh had already spread out. His heart ached more when those golden eyes he loved so much didn’t look up from the ground. It was behavior he hadn’t seen from Gaban since the crew they rescued him from that abused him daily, behavior that had never once been aimed at him or Rayleigh.
“Paixão? Are you not feeling well or something?” Rayleigh said worriedly as he approached, hand immediately coming up to check Gaban’s temperature.
Gaban flinched slightly before Rayleigh pressed his hand on his forehead. “No, I’m fine, Leigh.”
“Liar.” Rayleigh sassed though he regretted it immediately when this time there was no mistaking the way Gaban flinched back and seemed to deflate in an attempt to appear smaller. “Oh… Ga-chan…”
Roger sat behind Gaban and pulled him close, wrapping his entire frame around his husband, haki laying over him like a blanket. “We wanted to treat you to a date, we know we’ve been real shit lately Paixão, we’ve been planning this the day after Blue joined us and got sick. We even brought you snacks and things we hoped you would like but you’re a hard man to get things for, please paixão, please tell us what’s wrong.”
“We hate seeing you so upset like this,” Rayleigh whispered as he took his usual spot over Gaban’s lap.
“Nothing’s wrong, loves.” Gaban said soothingly, his hands instantly going to Rayleigh’s thighs as they always did. Rayleigh would have believed him from the tone but without his shades to hide them from view Rayleigh could see how his Passion’s gold eyes seemed much too dull almost like he was just reciting memorized lines from a play. “It’s just one of my moods. Don’t let me ruin the fun. You know all I want is for you both to be happy.”
Rayleigh cupped his husband’s cheeks, thumbs brushing gently under his eyes as he goaded him to look up. “Paixão, please. We want you happy too and you haven’t been.”
“When… when did you both stop?” Gaban rasped after a moment of silence emotion finally sparking in his dull eyes but not one Rayleigh wanted as it was all panic and desperation.
“When did we stop what, Paixão?” Roger asked just as gently as Rayleigh did, unable to see his husband’s face but he could see Rayleigh’s face paling in horror at whatever he saw.
Gaban gritted his teeth, eyes going downcast wanting and not wanting to know but he knew that both of them would not stop needling till they got their answer. The words left him breathless, seeping from him like an open wound and a sharpened blade all at once. “When did you stop loving me? What did I do wrong?! You promised! What did I do?!”
Both Roger and Rayleigh jerked, the words hitting them like a physical blow, their eyes widening and locking onto each other as Gaban silently broke between them, his hands clutching at Rayleigh in desperation.
“Please… I’ll be better. Whatever you want.” Gaban choked out.
Roger wracked his brain over the last month for what could have caused this and what he discovered horrified him and from the looks of it Rayleigh had come to the same conclusion. A whine left Rayleigh as he realised finally, why Gaban had frozen the other night when he said I love you, why it took him so long. He was half asleep and probably thought he’d only dreamed that entire exchange. Their whole schedule had been thrown so much into chaos that both he and Roger had not said the words to him outloud, something they learned their Paixão needed more than anything.
“Gaban, my love, our passion.” Rayleigh started, chest heaving as he brushed away the tears that silently fell. “Words cannot even begin to describe how sorry I… we are… Fuck, Paixão, we love you so fucking much.”
“Then why did you stop!” Gaban exclaimed. “You said it to each other! To the boys! But not me! What did I do?!”
Roger shot Rayleigh a look to get off before lifting Gaban to move and straddle his waist so he could stare at him. “Nothing, you have done nothing wrong. This is on us, we knew better but we got so caught up in trying to surprise you, to make up for the last month… we got so… there is no excuse.”
“Just love me again.” Gaban gasped he didn’t remember it being this hard to breath not since the mountain incident. Why was everything getting darker? “You promised. I-I know… I know I’m still nothing, this month proved that… but you promised… you both promised you’d love me anyway! Just tell me what to do so you both will love me again!”
“Fuck, breathe marido, breathe!” Roger ordered as Gaban began to hyperventilate in his panic. He pulled him close, crushing him to his chest and tucking his face under his chin as he rocked them. “You are not nothing, you are our everything. We love you, we love you, Gol-Silvers Gaban, we love you. We won’t stop, will not stop, never in a thousand years and more stop loving you.”
“Hurts.” Gaban rasped clawing at his scarred chest.
“Roger!” Rayleigh exclaimed, making silver eyes snap right to him. “He needs the reset. Knock him out before he rips his scar open!”
Roger unleashed his haki without hesitation, heart in his throat and grief shrouding him as Gaban passed out within his arms. Even in sleep agony was washed across his face, how had they missed this? How could they send Gaban right back to the beginning and doubt them once more, they swore seas damn it. They swore that this would never happen again, that he would never have need to doubt them again.
“FUCK!!” Rayleigh roared, hefting a piece of firewood and launching it so hard across the clearing that the tree it collided with and the log of wood exploded into splinters on impact before reaching up and yanking harshly on his hair.
Roger closed his eyes and held Gaban tighter. “Leigh, my heart… I know you want to rage but I cannot calm you and comfort Gaban at the same time, please my heart, I need you to calm.”
“He thinks he’s worth nothing again!” Rayleigh hissed back. “I believe I am more than allowed my anger at the fact that I’m such a shit husband I didn’t notice his mental state slipping this much! How much of him doing our roles was him picking up our slack instead of trying to earn love that has been freely his since the very beginning?! I brought home a traumatized kid and proceeded to neglect my traumatized fucking husband who has the exact same mindset and need of constant reassurance! This was my fucking fault! I broke him.”
“He’s not broken!” Roger hissed back at Rayleigh. “We have to be better Leigh, we knew that trying to balance everything would be hard and unfortunately yes bringing Blue back was a… catalyst to Gaban’s mental state taking a plummet. But none of us regret it. Gaban loves Blue just as much as he does Red, if not more simply because he relates. We have three days to remind him, my Heart. If we have to stay here longer then we will.”
Rayleigh slumped, the fury seeping out of him. “You're right, Taro packed us several of his favourite treats. I'll finish setting up camp, you make sure Paixão is comfortable.”
“I’ve got him, heart.” Roger soothed as he held his unconscious husband that much closer, long fingers stroking carefully through the spiky black lengths of his hair.
Rayleigh put the camp together in silence, pressing a kiss to Gaban’s temple any time he walked past both of his husbands, Roger letting a continuous stream of praise and love murmured into dark locks. They had so much to fix, so much to do to prove that they loved their husband beyond words.
It took over two hours for Gaban to wake and their hearts broke all over again when the first sound to leave him was a hoarse sob. “I’m sorry.”
Roger pressed a kiss into Gaban's temple, clutching him close. “No Paixão, we're sorry, I love you, we love you. Please don't be sorry.”
“Don’t stop again.” Gaban pleaded as he curled closer hands gripping the fabric of Roger’s shirt. “Please. Logic doesn’t help with this. I know I’m too needy. I’m sorry. I know it’s a bother, that I’m one. I’ll do better. Hurts when I’m like this, feels like drowning.”
“You are not a bother nor needy!” Rayleigh practically growled, haki thick and truthful in his words. “Fuck Ga-chan, we love how you are, how you constantly make us feel how loved we are by you, how no matter when if we want to cuddle or just be affectionate with you we can. We love you so much.”
Roger closed his eyes and pressed his face into Gaban’s hair. “How can we fix this Paixão? How can we ease the ache we have caused?”
“Please… please just love me…” Gaban cried softly.