Chapter Text
It was a cold night at Hyunjin's dorm.
He was sketching under the dim light of the lamp on his desk when he heard a knock at the door.
11:38 p.m.
It was late, but he already knew who it could be, the only person who would show up at his dorm so suddenly at night. He opened the door and saw Felix standing there. His eyes were puffy and red. Without a word, he walked in and collapsed onto the bed.
The faint scent of rosemary lingered in the room, curling around the dim glow of a candle.
“I like how it smells here,” Felix muttered.
“It’s rosemary.”
The bed sagged under Felix, and he let out a groan that carried both exhaustion and something deeper, something unnameable. Hyunjin felt a small shiver run through him.
“Jinnie” Felix said suddenly, his voice soft and roughened with fatigue. Him calling Hyunjin that way, since the day they became friends, was something that always made his heart flutter.
“I… I can’t…” He let the sentence fall into the room, incomplete, like so much of him. Hyunjin didn’t move closer yet; he stayed by the door, though it was already near.
Felix exhaled slowly, finally sitting up, his shoulders hunched like he’d been carrying invisible weights.
“Everything feels… heavy,” he admitted.
And Hyunjin knew, without being told, that the weight included his boyfriend, the arguments, the loneliness no one else could see. But Hyunjin saw it every time he was with Felix, and it hurt. Because how could someone like a ray of sunshine ever be in pain?
Hyunjin’s gaze softened. He shifted the candle closer, the flame casting long, fragile shadows across the room. He wanted to say something, to offer comfort, to let Felix know he didn’t have to be strong right now, that with him, he didn’t need to pretend.
But all he managed was a quiet, “You can stay here tonight.”
The words were small, almost swallowed by the silence.
Felix leaned back, resting his head against the pillow, and for a moment, Hyunjin could almost believe the world had paused.
His eyes glimmered, reflecting the candlelight. His pink hair spilled across the pillow, his cheeks tinted cherry-red, a shade of warmth that was impossible to replicate. Hyunjin swallowed, trying to keep the ache in his chest from spilling over. His heart ached with love, a hidden love he was too afraid to express. But until then, he would stay by his side, even if it meant his heart had to grow twice as strong.
Darlin’, darlin’, darlin’, I fall to pieces when I’m with you…
The lyrics whispered through the room like an ironic message, a perfect echo of the feeling coiling in his veins. He busied himself putting away sketchbooks, papers, and brushes on his desk, a quiet attempt to steady his trembling heart.
“Lix” he called, but got no answer.
When he turned around, there he was, the younger had already fallen asleep.
Time stretched lazily. Hyunjin watched the rise and fall of Felix’s chest, the small twitch of his fingers as he dreamed. He wanted to be closer, to trace the line of his jaw, to lean in just a little, to see his peaceful face, but he stayed.
He leaned down next to Felix, resting his head on his hand as he watched him closely. Even though he should’ve stopped, should’ve kept his distance, he chose to stay close.
With one hand, he gently caressed the side of Felix’s face. Felix stirred a little, as if aware of Hyunjin’s touch.
“Are you tired?” Hyunjin murmured. “Go on, get some rest, you need it.”
He didn’t expect an answer, but what came next struck straight through his heart.
“Thank you, Jinnie” came the tired whisper from the boy who slowly drifted off, his hand resting on Hyunjin’s arm, a silent plea for him to stay near.
꒰ঌ ♡ ໒꒱
The library was quiet, the kind of quiet that could swallow a person whole if they weren’t careful. Hyunjin slid into the chair across from Felix, who was already buried in a thick textbook, pen in hand, notes scattered everywhere. The chaos of midterm exams.
Afternoon sunlight filtered through the tall windows, brushing the spines of the books and highlighting the faint freckles on Felix’s nose.
“Hey,” he said softly, glancing up, his glasses slipping a bit down his nose. “You’re here earlier than I thought.” He smiled in that effortless way that seemed to fill every corner of a room.
“Some of us have responsibilities too,” Hyunjin replied, tone teasing but calm, a small smile tugging at his lips.
Felix giggled, turning back to his notes for his math exam, while Hyunjin pulled out his laptop and began typing the essay that would count toward his final grade.
A comfortable silence settled between them, only filled by the sound of keys tapping, a pencil scratching, and pages turning under the soft hum of focus.
After a while, Felix looked up again, his eyes meeting Hyunjin’s with a flicker of warmth.
“Thanks for meeting me here,” he said, voice almost hesitant. “I… I didn’t really feel like doing this alone.”
Hyunjin wanted to reach across the table, to touch his hand, to reassure him in the smallest possible way. Instead, he just nodded with a quiet smile, letting his presence speak louder than words. He kept his hands to himself, but the ache in his chest was enough, enough to remind him that every glance, every soft word, every accidental brush of fingers was a small dagger that wounded and thrilled him all at once.
For a moment, he wondered what it would be like to always be this close, without the weight of other people’s expectations, without the shadow of a relationship Felix was still trying to untangle. He pushed the thought away, hiding it in the quiet corners of his mind where it could ache in private.
But moments like this always brought those feelings back. Especially now, when Felix was the only one filling his mind, his pink hair glowing in the afternoon light, enchanting in the library’s calm. The way he adjusted his glasses, the slight frown between his brows as he studied, all of it stayed carved into Hyunjin’s memory.
Felix hummed softly, tapping his pen against the notebook.
“I like studying with you,” he murmured, almost confessing to the air. “Even if we’re doing different things. It just feels… easier somehow. When you’re here.”
Hyunjin’s lips curved, almost unwillingly. “I like it too,” he said, voice low and careful, letting the words linger between them.
The sunlight caught in Felix’s pink hair as he leaned forward to flip a page, and Hyunjin felt that familiar, almost painful pull of wanting more, of wanting to be more than just a friend who watched from across the table. Silence filled the air again, not empty, but full of unspoken words and quiet comfort.
Hyunjin was typing when a soft yawn drew his attention. Felix’s head drooped slightly, and his gaze softened instantly.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah… I’m good. Just tired, I guess.” Felix stretched his arms, leaning back. “Enough math for today.”
A small smile formed on Hyunjin’s lips as he watched him lay his head on his folded arms over the open textbook. But before the younger could rest, his phone buzzed with a new message.
The change was immediate. Felix’s expression faltered, his eyes losing their light, a silent shift from calm to anguish, as if his heart had just dropped.
My rose garden dreams, set on fire by fiends
Whatever message he’d read, it weighed on him heavily, and Hyunjin knew it.
“Felix…” His voice came out soft, barely above a whisper, like he feared that speaking too loudly might shatter him.
The younger looked up, and for a fleeting moment, all his vulnerability lay bare, a silent plea for comfort, for rescue, for something real. Without thinking, Hyunjin reached across the table and brushed his fingers lightly against Felix’s hand. Just a touch, almost casual, but enough to anchor him.
Felix’s lips parted slightly, as if to speak, but no words came. Hyunjin’s chest tightened. He wanted to ask what had happened, to demand what could cause that fire in Felix’s eyes, but he didn’t. He just held that gaze, offered his quiet presence, and let Felix lean into it, even if only for a moment.
The silence returned to the library, but it felt different now, heavy, charged, humming with everything they couldn’t say. Hyunjin’s heart thumped painfully. What had hurt him so deeply? Who could do that to someone so bright?
And how could he bring that light back again, before it slipped away into pieces too fragile to fix?
꒰ঌ ♡ ໒꒱
The bell above the café door jingled softly as Hyunjin held it open for Felix. The younger stepped inside, shoulders slightly hunched, eyes a little distant, and the older felt that familiar pang in his chest.
Afternoon light spilled across the wooden tables, warm and gentle, dusting Felix’s hair. Every strand seemed to catch it, every small movement of his hands brushing the table’s edge, and Hyunjin had to blink quickly to keep his heartbeat from betraying him.
“You didn’t have to bring me here,” Felix said quietly, his voice small, a mix of embarrassment and gratitude. He tucked a loose strand of pink hair behind his ear.
Hyunjin shook his head, smiling faintly. “I saw you yesterday. You weren’t… okay. Thought maybe some dessert and coffee might help.”
Felix’s lips curved into a soft, tentative smile, and Hyunjin’s chest tightened. It wasn’t the wide, confident grin he sometimes showed to strangers or friends, it was quiet, careful, almost shy.
“You always know,” he whispered, his gaze flicking up to meet Hyunjin’s. There was a vulnerability there, soft and unguarded, and Hyunjin’s heart folded around it.
The waiter arrived with a slice of cherry pie, steam curling upward, sweet and warm. Felix leaned closer, inhaling deeply, a small sigh escaping him, and Hyunjin couldn’t help but watch every delicate movement. He looked peaceful, if only for a moment, and that was enough to make Hyunjin ache with something he couldn’t name.
Felix laughed softly and took a bite of the pie. The cherry filling left his lips tinted red, and the sight made Hyunjin’s heart flutter.
My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme
They ate slowly, surrounded by the soft hum of the café, their conversation flowing with easy warmth, little jokes, quiet laughter, even complaints about classes that somehow made them feel like they belonged.
At one point, Felix hummed under his breath, a low sound that seemed to vibrate straight through Hyunjin. That same sweet, slow burn returned, the kind that made his chest tighten, wanting someone so completely, yet knowing that all of it belonged to him only in silence.
“Thank you,” Felix murmured finally, his voice soft and a little broken. “For everything. For noticing. For being here.” He looked down at his plate, nibbling the last bite, then lifted his gaze again, eyes faintly shining. “You make it easier; I think. To breathe, to forget for a little while.”
“Next time,” Hyunjin said quietly, leaning forward just a little, “we’re getting two slices. You can’t hog all the cherries.”