Archive of Our Own ^beta

It's been 2 days since Nya died. If ‘died’ is even the right word, she's not dead, she's just gone. She is one with the endless sea now. Wherever she is, she is probably doing just fine, she's always been an independent and resilient young woman. But soon enough, her memories will begin to fade, she won't remember who they are, who she was, and they'll never see her again. To honor her and her noble sacrifice for Ninjago, there'll be a memorial today.

Jay, Nya’s yin has been inconsolable since she merged with the sea. Ever since the two fell in love they’ve been attached to the hip, and her disappearance left him shattered. All he’s been doing for the past couple days is stay curled up in his room and crying, clutching his half of their once matching yin-yang amulet like it’s sacred, holding on to the ounce of comfort it provides him. He’s watched his beloved die before. Twice even, but they kicked against fate, and got back together somehow. This time however, there was nothing he could do.

Lloyd has been very hard on himself, he keeps wondering if he could have handled it in any other way, if there was anything in his power he could have done to change Nya’s fate. He is their leader for crying out loud. He fully takes the blame upon himself. He let her down. He let everyone down. Whenever he’s feeling down he usually talks to Kai or Nya. Kai is not much help right now, and Nya is gone.

Zane has been behaving strange too, he is feeling things he just can not quite put his finger on. He can’t get himself to do anything productive, it just hurts too much. He’s tried doing small maintenance tasks, like trying to fix some of the vehicles that got damaged during their fight with Wojira, maybe start thinking of new ones, anything. He just needs to get his mind off things, and this monastery won’t run itself anyway. But whenever he tries, he just gives up immediately, compelled by grief. It’s just not the same without Nya lending him a hand.

Cole is no stranger to loss. During his time with the ninja’s, he’s lost his friends time and time again, yet somehow they always manage to find a way to defy destiny and bring them back to life. Though he’s already learned the hard way that it doesn’t always end like that, sometimes when people disappear, they’re gone for good, and he’s coming to terms that this time, the same might just count for Nya too, and First Master does that hurt.

The loss of Nya has been hard for everyone. Of course, for her older brother, too.

Kai is sitting on the edge of his bed, holding a bowl of water with both hands. In a couple of minutes, everyone will come together in the courtyard, filling a big vase with dozens of these bowls to pay their respects to the former elemental master of water.

Nya … Kai reminisces back on his youth with his sister. He remembers holding her for the first time. His eyes sparkling with pride, showing his precious newborn baby sister off to all his neighbours, beaming with joy. He was so proud to get to be her big brother. Unfortunately, after some years their parents were forced to leave them behind when they were still very young, they didn’t ever get the chance to explain or even say their goodbyes. It took years before they reunited, and despite finally knowing the reasons now, Kai still feels a bit hurt by their abandonment, and they’re still in the process of rekindling their bond . Of course the neighbours would help out occasionally, since they were still small children, but Kai was her primary caretaker despite only being 2 years older than her. Whenever she would ask where mommy and daddy went, or when they were coming back, all Kai could do was make up stories, and fake a smile, just to put her at ease. They only really had each other.

If it wasn’t for his bond with Nya, he wouldn’t even have met any of his friends either. If she hadn’t been kidnapped, the team wouldn’t have ever formed in the first place. To be honest, Kai wasn’t even too into the whole ‘ninja ‘thing’ and the beginning, he just wanted to get his sister back so they could return to living their normal lives at the blacksmith shop, but he’s glad they all stuck together in the end. He wouldn’t be who he is now. Once they learn that Nya had elemental powers of her own too, while she was a bit reluctant at first, she became a part of their team too, a central part at that. When Kai and Nya had to fight together in the boiling sea, combining their powers to do so, they were the closest they’ve ever been. But just like that, it’s all a distant memory now. Kai just can’t imagine his life without his little sister.

Faint knocking could be heard on the door before it slowly opens with a quiet creek. Cole's tall figure appears in the doorframe.

“Hey.” he says quietly, walking over to the bed

“Hey.” Kai replies hoarsely, he doesn’t even bother looking up.

“Are you okay?” the black ninja asks, his voice full of gentle concern.

“What do you think?” Kai says, with just a hint of bitterness in his reply. A rhetorical question, obviously.

Coles laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, that was a dumb question. I’m sorry.” he says as he sits down on the bed next to his friend.

“...”

FSM, what do you even tell someone who just lost their sister?

He fiddles with his fingers thinking of the right thing to say.
“The memorial is gonna start in a couple minutes, are you ready?”

The fire elemental just shrugs. Cole frowns and leans in closer to get a better look at his face. Kai looks absolutely devastated.

Cole has never seen him, or anyone for that matter, look so sad and pitiful before. Kai looks exhausted, you could tell he hasn’t been sleeping well. Both corners of his lips are curling downwards, and his ember eyes, who seem to be on the verge of tears, are filled with such overwhelming, and indescribable misery.

It made Cole's heart plummet to the ground. He knew all too well what it feels like to lose someone so close to you, someone who has been there with you your whole life. When he was still a child, his mother passed away at the hands of a mysterious illness. After she died, he was absolutely devastated and torn apart, he's never felt more heartbroken and lonely. The big difference between him and Kai right now, despite how much he denied, and tried to convince himself it was not true, he knew his mother's end was drawing near. Even if he was young and clueless, he saw her condition decline slowly over the span of years, and the way his father and the doctors kept looking at her in those last couple weeks of her life, told the young boy everything he needed to know.

It didn't make it hurt any less, but instead of a sudden painful stab to the heart, it was a slow, and agonizing pain. Yet he still knew it was coming, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Nya on the other hand didn't have much time to think over her decision, Jay was in danger. The whole world was in danger, and she needed to do what had to be done to save it. One minute she was there, the next, she was gone. One with the sea forevermore, never to be undone. Was there anything they could have done to stop it? Could there have been any other way to defeat Wojira, without having lost Nya in the process?

Nya was Cole's dear friend too, losing her hurts, they've been fighting alongside each other with the rest of the team for years by now and she felt like a little sister to him, but she actually was Kai's sister, and nothing in the world compares to a bond like that.

For a moment, he debates bringing up his own experiences with his mother. Telling Kai he understands how he feels might make him feel less alone, less lonely, but on second thought bringing it up right now, at a time like this might just make him look insensitive, this isn’t about him. Cole thought about the best way to word his feelings and finally breaks the awkward silence.

“I know exactly how you feel. I know how bad it hurts. Let me be there for you.”

He gently places a hand on the red ninja’s shoulder, squeezing it softly. Finally, Kai meets his eyes. His grief-stricken face made Cole’s heart break into millions of little pieces all over again.

A soft, comforting smile is all it took for Kai to break down.

He’s always had a habit of turning sadness into rage, grief into aggression, but when these feelings finally catch up to him, he’s forced to deal with the pure sorrow he’s too prideful to display, and tears start spilling out.

He trembles and the bowl of water he was holding rattles Tears drip down his face, falling on the surface of the lid covering the bowl. Splat, splat
Cole wraps his arm around him and pulls him closer.

Kai and Cole have stuck together though thick and thin, they were there for each other’s highest highs, and lowest lows, but Kai has never shown vulnerability to this extent before. Cole was taken aback. Kai cusses under his breath. “Sorry- I’m sorry” he sobs. His voice sounds so small, the earth elemental could barely make it out. “Hey … hey, don’t be. It’s okay. You’re okay.” he shushes him.

“It’s just after our parents left, she was- she was all I had. I was supposed to protect her.” he cries “My sister … my little sister. She- she's gone… She’s gone …” Kai struggles getting his words out between sobs. “She's gone…”

“C’mere, buddy, I got you" Cole coos as he pulls Kai into a strong embrace. Kai tightly held on to him, like was about to disappear into thin air at any moment, wailing into his chest, soaking his black gi with thick warm tears. “There, there…” he rubs reassuring circles on his back.

“I’ll miss her.”

“Me too. We all will.”

Cole rests his chin on top of Kai’s head and blinks away some tears of his own, sniffling quietly. He misses his mom, and he’ll miss Nya. Oh, how he will miss her.

When his mother died, his father got so caught up in his own ways of grieving he couldn’t even be there for him, but with the ninja, he knows he doesn’t have to carry it alone, and he won’t let Kai carry it alone either.