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"Don't you think the sun...looks like us?" Kaede mused under her breath. Despite being seated next to her, Mayu could barely make out the younger girl's words. However, only she could hear them. It was more than enough.
For Mayu, sharing something with Kaede was all she could ask for. She could not care less if the sun was the last thing to be theirs. The fiery orb moved down the horizon, glowing in passionate vermilion. It was going to evanesce upon the night's arrival.
Kaede was no different.
"It's beautiful, Kae," Mayu's vision refused to stray from the setting sun. The sky was soon to be suffocated in darkness. She knew that, and so did Kaede. The only difference was that Mayu longed to run.
Kaede beamed. "Just like you," her cheeks flushed subtly as her lips curved upward. This was the Kaede who owned Mayu's heart, and the older girl wished to savour every last minute spent knowing her. "Thing is, the sun doesn't stay visible forever."
The smile did not fade from Kaede's face. It was almost as if she knew what was coming next. Kaede owned stability and composure, and Mayu yearned to have some of it. Unfortunately, the younger girl was not very willing to share.
Kaede knew how to drag out the pain. She knew how to make it palatable. However, the truth did not stop chasing Mayu. The older girl only knew how to run.
"We can't be like the sun. We just can't be," Mayu's words were a laboured plea. She sighed, unable to pinpoint what exactly she could get from Kaede. Mayu needed something to believe.
Alas, Kaede could not steer her away from reality. "We already are," the younger girl cupped Mayu's cheek with her palm. "What are you gonna do?"
Kaede's touch was like sinking into a soft mattress after a long day. Her voice was a breath of fresh air right after the rain. Mayu could feel the sun's red dye seeping into her heart. There was so much about Kaede that she still loved. In a few hours' time, Mayu was going to miss so much about the younger girl.
I'm done running. It's now your turn.
"I'll remember to forget, Kae...only if you board the next bus," Mayu gestured towards the pale green vehicle in the distance. It grew in clarity as it drew nearer, backdropped by the evening sun. Whatever was left of her and Kaede had already slipped halfway down the skyline.
"You're sure for once," Kaede flashed a subtle grin. It lasted for a second, vanishing when she withdrew her hand from Mayu's face.
The younger girl had merely uttered four words. They did not spell out a question, but rather a fate. Kaede had decided to follow the sun's path. For once, Mayu decided against following her.
Kaede got up from her seat, signalling to the incoming bus. It pulled up smoothly at the stop, doors sliding to reveal an interior devoid of passengers. She shot Mayu a fleeting glance, waving goodbye before boarding the vehicle. It was just like any other farewell - or so Mayu wished.
"You're..." a faint buzzing materialised in the older girl's heart, rendering her unable to speak.
"On the wrong bus. You're safe now," Kaede's words were oddly saccharine.
An invisible force weighed down on Mayu. It grew heavier with each passing second, emptying her of any strength to chase. Mayu could only sit still, waiting for the bus doors to close between her and Kaede.
It happened before she was ready. A wistful smile shone through transparent doors, holding more radiance than sunlight itself. However, Kaede could not paint the same glow on Mayu's face.
You were supposed to take bus 9.
Bus 916 drove off into the distance, soon to dip down with the sun. It was too far for either girl to run.
We made the sun look like us.
With each step she took away from the bus stop, Mayu could only let Kaede smoulder in her memories.
┊┊┊✧ ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-┊┊┊
"The sun has set, Mayu. Let's take the bus to a sea of stars."
A bus was due to arrive in five minutes.
It was the same bus stop. Mayu sat at the exact same spot. The sun was out of sight, and the sky was deep indigo. It backdropped Mayu - resting in the arms of a girl who was not Kaede.
"Sometimes, the stars make me forget that the sun exists," Mayu's words rolled off her tongue. Ashes accummulated in her mind where memories used to glow.
At the end of the day, a whole year has passed.
Mayu had left the sun behind, and she could only blame herself. It was the reason she drowned in a new pair of sparkling eyes. It was the reason Shion loved her. Most of all, it was the reason she tried to love the younger girl back.
"But the sun is a star too. The only difference is that it's special," Shion's delicate voice faltered towards the end. She shifted in her seat, turning to gaze right into Mayu's eyes. Her inability to pull away was barely concealed.
"Shionie, you are more special than the sun could ever be."
Practised. Rehearsed. Mayu spoke with a smile her eyes could not match. She was no stranger to weaving illusions. They blossomed across Shion's cheeks, and it was merely enough.
"Nobody has ever told me that. Not even Ha-"
A bus screeched to an abrupt halt before Shion could finish her sentence. Passengers streamed out steadily as the doors parted open. That was, until not a single person remained in the vehicle.
"Not even who?"
"Forget it, Mayu. That's our bus," Shion uttered bashfully as she got up from her seat. The older girl followed suit, giving the bus a once-over before stepping in.
Its green paint was paler than she had remembered. However, the neon number 916 did not lose its glow. A year ago, the same bus had bid farewell to Mayu - along with the sun.
Shion, you were supposed to help me forget.
But you only made me remember.
The doors slid shut in front of the two girls. An empty bus stop filled Mayu's vision. She could see herself still seated there, watching as Kaede rolled off the horizon's edge.
Shion squeezed Mayu's hand gently, causing a promising warmth to envelop it. "You okay?"
"I...can't wait to see the stars."
The bus suddenly surged forward. In a matter of seconds, the bus stop was going to fade out of sight. Mayu could not bear to witness that.
"I hope you see me in them," Shion let out a soft, flustered giggle. The older girl was probably the centre of her universe. However, Mayu could only try and fail to return the same love.
If I see anyone in the stars, it had better be you.
┊┊┊✧ ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-┊┊┊
A lantern rested in Kaede's hands. Its creased red paper scratched her skin. She scanned her surroundings warily, only to see a night sky burning with lanterns. Not a single star was in sight.
A familiar bus stop was lit by a distant glow. However, Kaede did not wish to look at it.
"Mayu, please come tonight," she whispered into the wind. The lantern lit itself aglow, a passionate flame spreading out from its core. Kaede released it from her grasp.
She watched the lantern ascend into the boundless sky. She knew her wish was going to remain unfulfilled. After all, the stars had never shone before her eyes.
That was, until they began to awaken one by one.
┊┊┊✧ ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-┊┊┊
"The stars here only shine when they see soulmates together," Shion mused dreamily. Mayu felt a gentle warmth on her cheek, where the younger girl had placed her hand. The sensation was painfully familiar. Despite that, it could not quite reach Mayu's heart.
"How do you know, Shionie? Are you sure the stars won't lie?" the question dissipated into the lantern-filled sky. The air started to shift. It was too late for Mayu to swallow her words.
Something inexplicable flickered across Shion's eyes. "Hayeon told me that, and she wasn't lying," she wistfully breathed. "I was here with her. The stars were shining for her and Chaewon...but not me."
"I understand. It's hard to forget. I myself..."
Perhaps, the vermillion incandescence of a thousand lanterns was enough to steal Mayu's voice away.
Forget, Mayu. Forget it.
The younger girl mustered a wistful smile, hesitantly withdrawing her palm from Mayu's cheek. A chilling gust of wind swept Shion's hair away from her face. Mayu could now make out the lanterns reflected in her eyes. They burned with the hue of sunset.
Forget the sun. It never stayed.
"At the end of the day, we have to love each other. Even if it means forgetting," Shion uttered in resignation. Two unlit lanterns fell from the sky, materialising before her and Mayu. "C'mon, let's make a wish."
Shion scooped up a lantern with both hands, but the older girl could not bear to watch her. Meanwhile, a distant lantern rose from Mayu's peripheral vision. She traced it to what seemed like the horizon's edge.
A girl stood there, sending lantern after lantern spiralling into the night. Her face was hidden from view, her outline softly illuminated by starlight. Despite the distance, Mayu recognised her in a heartbeat.
"I wish for our love to live forever~" Shion's voice was just a blur in the older girl's ears.
I'm sorry, Shion. That can't happen.
I'm sorry, Kaede. We couldn't happen.
Yamada Kaede. Kaede. Kae...
Is that you, Kae?
Sucking in a gulp of cold air, Mayu bent down to pick up the lantern on the ground. "I wish..."
The lantern grew warmer upon hearing her. A small flame started to crackle at its core.
"I wish to forget."
Scorching heat seared through Mayu's skin. The lantern was now fully ablaze with fire. She had to release it before it could burn her. Mayu was losing her heart to a sea of stars - but even that did not matter.
"Good job, Mayu," whispered Shion. The older girl remained silent, observing the lantern's trajectory into the sky. It was simply too late for her to reclaim her memories.
What if I never actually wished to forget?
Mayu sensed a dull emptiness settle in her chest. However, she did not need to pinpoint what exactly was missing. Smiling as Shion embraced her, the older girl felt neither sadness nor pain.
Only then did it start to rain.
┊┊┊✧ ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-┊┊┊
A drenched Kaede set foot on the bus stop, causing the stars behind her to flicker out. She allowed herself one last look at the lanterns. They glowed in the way the sun would. Raindrops could fall in clarity beneath them, pattering onto the umbrella Mayu would share with someone else.
~FLASHBACK~
"Don't you think the sun...looks like us?"
"It's beautiful, Kae."
~END FLASHBACK~
We were beautiful. Once.
Kaede's vision burned with the fire of a thousand lanterns. Hot tears prickled her eyes. Turning away from the sea of stars was useless. Before she knew it, salt water was streaking down her face in free flow.
Empty buses zoomed past the stop. They were mere blurs in Kaede's sight. The world moved on, leaving her behind.
"1620, Shion. Our bus is here!"
Is that you, Mayu? It just can't be.
Kaede was alone. Her only companion was a selfish wish.
I have to continue....hallucinating.
┊┊┊✧ ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-┊┊┊
"Do you want to stay the night at my house? We could watch a movie and try the new breads I baked~"
The bus doors closed as Shion finished her sentence. Mayu nodded halfheartedly, clearing the condensation which had amassed on them. The girl at the bus stop now sat before her eyes.
A throbbing ache materialised in Mayu's head. She felt the jarring presence of a missing piece. It was as if her memory had a gap - a face she could not place; a name she used to know.
The bus started to accelerate. It had moved on unlike Mayu's thoughts.
"I love you, Mayu."
Mayu could not reply. She could not see Shion. She could still see the girl at the bus stop, smiling like the sun despite her tear-streaked face.
I'd like to think she smiled at me.