Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Noelle was lounging in bed in her nightgown, playing Cat Petterz 4. She’d finished all her homework for the day after she got home from track practice, and was taking the rare opportunity in her schedule to relax and unwind.

The moment she got to a new level, her phone pinged. Noelle sighed, before quickly pausing and pulling up her notifications.

It was… Dess? That was odd. She was only a room over, and never really seemed to want to talk to her much lately. Her behavior around her had been getting odd, too. Sometimes, Dess would stare at her for a while, before just suddenly leaving. It kind of made her uncomfortable sometimes, but it was probably just in her head. Dess was her big sister, after all. There was no one she trusted more.

BloodCrushers69: hey sis

BloodCrushers69: hey

BloodCrushers69: elly

holidaygrrl1225: Yeah?

BloodCrushers69: hey can u come listen to a song im practicing. i wanna play it for azzy but i wanna make sure im doing a good job first

holidaygrrl1225: Okay, Sure! One sec.

BloodCrushers69: cool lmao

Noelle saved her game and laid her handheld on her nightstand, pulled on a light jacket for warmth, and trotted down the short hallway to Dess’s room.

The second she reached the doorway, the door eased open, revealing…

“Dess?” Noelle shrieked and covered her eyes. “Why aren’t you wearing any pants?! A-and your shirt…”

December looked down at herself, clad in nothing but boxers, an unbuttoned flannel, and a sports bra, before shrugging. “Does it matter? We’re sisters, Elly. It’s not weird.”

“I-I guess…”

Dess rolled her eyes. “Come on, then.” She turned around, with Noelle following, and sat down on her bed as Noelle sat down on the floor.

Noelle felt slightly uneasy, but she pushed the feeling aside. Dess was safe. She was her big sister, for Angel’s sake! Dess must be right– there’s nothing weird about being alone with her while she’s so undressed.

Dess picked up the red guitar which she’d set leaning against the bedframe, and turned her attention back to Noelle.

“So, this isn’t in line with my usual music taste. As you’re about to see.” She rolls her eyes as she stated the obvious. “It’s some soft rock song from the eighties. Azzy likes it, though, and I wanted to try learning it on guitar so I could surprise him with a little performance sometime. Once he gets back, obviously. Which is hopefully soon…” She strummed the guitar a few times experimentally, and turned her attention to Noelle again. “You ready?”

Noelle nods and smiles. “Yeah, lay it on me!”

Dess started to play, and began to sing. Her voice, husky with a hint of raspy due to her frequent smoking, filled the room.

“Every breath you take,

And every move you make, 

Every bond you break

Every step you take

I’ll be watching you.”

Dess took a breath, and continued with the vocals.

“Every single day,

And every word you say,

Every game you play

Every night you stay

I’ll be watching you.”

Noelle shivered slightly. The lyrics were so… threatening. She couldn’t imagine singing that to the person she loved.

But, she supposed, she didn’t know Azzy as well as Dess did. Her sister probably knew that he’d enjoy it.

“Oh, can’t you see

You belong to me?

How my poor heart aches

With every step you take?

Every move you make,

And every vow you break,

Every smile you fake

Every claim you stake 

I’ll be watching you.”

Dess finished with an unnecessarily dramatic flourish. “That’s all I’ll sing for you, Elly. Just a lil’ sample. Only Azzy gets to hear the full thing.” She laid the guitar against the bed again and flopped down onto her front, gazing at Noelle. “Did you like it, though?”

Noelle took a moment to find her voice. “U-um, yeah! You performed it well, I think. I didn’t expect that it’d be so… creepy, though…”

Dess rolled her eyes. “...Of course you’d think it’s creepy.”

“W-what? It is!”

Dess sighed in an exaggerated fashion. “You wouldn’t know. You’ve never been in love…”

Noelle rolled her eyes. “Faha, sure.” She stood up to leave, moving towards the doorway, until…

“Hey, sis.”

Noelle turned around again. “Y-yeah, Dess?”

Dess grinned, and fished around in a box hidden under her bed, before pulling out a bong that… clearly was not cleaned regularly enough, and had water left in it. “You wanna try some?”

Noelle stuttered. “W-what?”

Dess smiled. For a moment, Noelle thought she saw a predatory glint in her sister’s eyes. She automatically brushed the desire to run aside. It’s just Dess.

“Elly, you’re always so stressed with all that pressure Mom puts you under. This…” She purred, patting her bong affectionately. “...Is a great way to relax. Really makes you forget about whatever’s stressing you out. And plus…” She grinned. “I think I remember you were trying to get the attention of some super cool punk girl at school. Not many better ways to draw her interest than to rebel and show you’re more than just Little Miss Perfect Prep.”

Noelle scoffed. “I’m not ‘Little Miss Perfect Prep’! A-and…” She stopped, thinking about Dess’s offer for a minute, before taking a deep breath and declaring, “O-okay, I’ll do it!”  

Dess smirked. “Attagirl.” She fished around in the box again, pulling out a ziploc bag she kept her weed in, and packed some into the bowl, and grabbed her lighter from the desk. She beckoned Noelle over, who was still standing frozen in front of the door.

Noelle anxiously approached, sitting on the bed next to her older sister, before mumbling, “...I-is it safe to use it with the standing water in there…?”

Dess rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a baby. It’s perfectly fine. I changed it yesterday.” Noelle just nodded and accepted her sister’s word for it.

Dess lit up the bong as she took a hit, keeping it in her lungs for a few moments, and exhaling. She offered it to Noelle, who gingerly took it into her shaking hands. She could hear Dess chuckle slightly. “You inhale from the top, Elly. Be sure to take a nice, deep breath.”

Noelle nodded, before, with a burst of determination, pressing the bong to her mouth and inhaling as deep as she could.

Noelle immediately started coughing violently. She felt like her lungs were on fire, and her body immediately rebelled and spewed the smoke back out as Dess tried to muffle her giggles in the background. She handed Noelle a glass of water resting on her bedside table, giggling unimpeded. Noelle glared at her, still coughing. “D-don’t laugh!”

Dess wiped a tear from her eye. “S-sorry. It’s just always funny seeing someone’s first time smoking. How ya feeling though, sis?”

Noelle greedily gulped down some water to soothe her throat, placing the cup off to the side, before coughing out, “F-fine, I think?”

Dess smiled. “Well, it probably’ll kick in in a second. Speaking of…” Dess took the bong back and took another hit, holding it in, before lunging at Noelle and pinning her down. She tried to squirm away, but Dess just smirked, moved her lips to Noelle’s, and exhaled into Noelle’s lungs.

Noelle’s eyes immediately started to water as she started violently coughing again. She squirmed, but her older sister’s strength was enough to render any effort from her meaningless.

Noelle’s mind was swimming. The room seemed brighter. Her senses were overwhelmed. She sputtered out, “D-Dess… W-what are you…”

“Shhhh.” Her sister cooed. “Don’t worry about it, little sis.” Noelle’s eyes widened as she felt her sister’s hand grasp one of her breasts, and she tried to resume her effort to push Dess off, but her body wasn’t responding. Noelle began to panic as her mind raced faster and faster.

Dess moved her mouth to one of Noelle’s ears. “Angel, you don’t know how hard it’s been to restrain myself around you for years, Elly. Just so cute…” She bit her lip and experimentally humped herself into Noelle’s leg. She let out a lurid moan as her eyes rolled back. “God, I’m so fucked up, aren’t I? F-fantasizing about making my little ‘sister’...” She rolled her eyes when she said that last word, “...Making you mine.”

She kept humping Noelle’s leg, eyes glassy. “It’s not my fault though, right, Elly? That tight little body… those tiny tits…” She let out a groan. “Y-you wanted this, Elly. E-every time I had to go… jerk off after spending too much time around you, knowing that if I stuck around you for much longer I’d have done something really stupid…” She giggled, which turned into a moan halfway through. “You want this, right, Elly? Say you want this.”

Noelle was whimpering and far too overwhelmed by her first ever high to respond. Her body felt like it was ablaze and it felt like her every sense was magnified by several times. Despite it, though, she felt drowsy. Like she was being pulled down into the ocean by a weight around her ankle, further, further into the dark depths.

Dess growled and slapped Noelle. “Say something, you ungrateful bastard. I had the nerve to actually give you what you want, and you can’t even be bothered to thank me?”

Noelle had passed out several seconds ago, and her sister slapping and yelling at her did nothing to rouse her. Dess just huffed. “Oh well, I’ll just get myself off, then. Fucking bitch.” She kept grinding her sex on Noelle’s thigh, panting.

“G-god, I’m humping little Elly’s leg to get myself off… F-fuck…” She let out a whine, so close to the edge. Desperate for something to push her over, she grabbed Noelle’s throat and squeezed, not caring that she was unconscious. 

Choking her little sister pushed Dess to her climax, and she spasmed and collapsed on top of Noelle into a moaning, shaking, mess.

. . . . . . . . .

Noelle drifted back into consciousness, dazed. What happened…?

The stench of weed immediately hit her. Dess’s room. Bedding that should’ve been washed weeks ago. Dess’s bed. Soft, nude skin on hers. Dess’s…

She pushed her sister away from her weakly, dragged herself off the bed, before collapsing. As she kept trying to crawl away from her sister, Dess just rolled her eyes. As if Noelle’s reaction to what she’d just done to her was a mere annoyance in her eyes.

“Elly. Let’s talk about what happened, okay?”

Noelle whimpered, but otherwise stayed silent and still for the moment, fearfully gazing up at her sister.

Dess just smiled. “So, Elly. You’re not gonna tell anyone what happened here. Do you wanna know why?” She paused for a moment, and took Noelle’s silence as affirmation. She donned a predatory grin. “Because, if you tell anyone, I’ll tell Mom you raped me.”

Noelle’s eyes widened. “B-but…”

Dess scoffed and cut her off. “Elly. Who do you think she’s gonna believe, her daughter, or her ‘daughter’?” She mocked, making exaggerated air quotes on the last word. “No one actually sees you as a woman, you know. So they’d have zero fucking trouble believing that my little brother would try to take advantage of his older sister like that. Understood?”

Noelle wasn’t sure if the nausea was caused by Dess’s words, Dess’s actions, the weed, or some combination of the three. “B-but…”

“Shut up.” Dess snapped. “Also, if I ever tell you to do something, or to come see me, no matter what you’re doing, you drop it. Otherwise…” She let the implied threat hang in the air.

Noelle shook as she nodded. “O-okay…”

Dess’s mannerisms flipped, and she smiled. “That’s all, Elly. Go get some sleep, okay?”

Noelle nodded again, and stumbled out of her sister’s room on shaky legs. She collapsed next to her bed and vomited into her trashcan. All the while, the events of that night swirled through her head vividly. They wouldn’t leave her head. They wouldn’t…

She crawled into bed, sniffling, and curled up and tried to drift off to sleep.

It took her a while.

Chapter Text

Noelle groaned and clutched her head.

Her gaze was affixed to the worksheets in front of her, but her mind was somewhere far different.

Last night, her sister had called her to her room, gave a mini song performance, and then offered her weed. Noelle had accepted the offer, spurred on by the thought of being “cool” and impressing Susie.

She wished she hadn’t. 

Now, all that had been circulating through her mind all day were vivid memories of everything that Dess had done to her; or what she was conscious for, anyway.

She shuddered, and tried to tune out her thoughts.

“...Noelle?”

She yelped and jumped in her seat slightly. That’s right. Berdly. She was studying with Berdly at the library.

He peered at her, confused. “...We were going over the material for Chemistry?”

She sighed and nodded. “R-right. Yeah, sorry, Berdly.” She straightened her posture.

Berdly let out an amused snort. “It’s not like I need to go over this material, obviously. I’m as well-prepared as we were to fight the Ender Dragon in Minecrap. But…” He cleared his throat nervously. “...I’d still appreciate it, regardless.”

Noelle gave him a patient smile. “Of course, Berdly. Um…” She took a deep breath and tried to gather her thoughts.

Her phone let out a ping as she received a notification. She sighed and picked it up. “One second. It could be my Mom s–” 

Her voice trailed off as she saw the Discord username attached to the message.

BloodCrushers69.

Dess.

Her heart pounded, and she opened the message.

BloodCrushers 69: hey elly. come over. now

Her sweaty palms weakly gripped her phone as she typed out a reply.

holidaygrrl1225: Dess, I really need to study for this test… It’s a big part of my grade. Can’t it wait, please?

BloodCrushers69: no.

BloodCrushers69: if youre saying youre not gonna, remember what i said would happen if you didnt do what i told you. i could send mom a text soooooo easily right now

Noelle’s breath caught in her throat as her heart nearly stopped. She panicked and quickly typed out a desperate reply.

holidaygrrl1225: WAITIWATI

holidaygrrl1225: NONONONOONONON PLEASE

holidaygrrl1225: ILL COME OVER

holidaygrrl1225: IM SORRY PLEASE DONT

BloodCrushers69: good boy. make it quick<3

Noelle felt bile rising in her throat. Her gaze fell onto Berdly again, and she smiled and put on a hopefully convincing facade as she moved to quickly gather up her stuff.

“S-sorry, Berdly! I-I, uh… Mom really needs me to go do something for her. S-sorry.”

Berdly frowned. “Well, alright. Shall we continue this session another time?”

Noelle nodded on autopilot, shoving papers into her bag hastily. “Y-yeah! Of course! Bye!” She waved as she ran off nervously.

Berdly’s frown deepened. It wasn’t like Noelle to run off so rapidly.

He promptly discarded that train of thought. Noelle would tell him if something was the matter, right?

. . . . . . . . .

Noelle unlocked the door to the Holiday Manor with shaky hands, stepping into the cold, empty house.

She missed the days when she used to be able to call the desolate space ‘home’.

She gingerly traversed the stairs to her and Dess’s rooms, mindlessly discarding her bag in her bedroom’s doorway, and as she gently opened the door to her sister’s bedroom, she saw…

Dess, completely naked, panting and humping a pillow. The room stank of hormones and body odor, and Noelle’s sensitive cervine nose wrinkled.

Dess’s eyes shot towards her as she heard her enter. She felt like she was pinned under a predator’s gaze.

Her sister grinned and threw the pillow to the side. “Take off your clothes and get on the bed.”

Noelle stood deathly still. Her mind swirled with flashbacks to last night. She let out an involuntary whimper.

Dess growled, bolted up, and stalked over to her sister. “Do as I fucking say. God, you’re worthless.” She dragged Noelle towards her bed as the younger girl hyperventilated and thrashed around in her grip. Dess carelessly threw Noelle onto the bed and tore off her skirt and panties, ripping the former slightly in the process.

Noelle whimpered. She loved that skirt.

Dess straddled her eagerly, before stopping in her tracks and gazing with distaste at her sister’s genitals. Noelle’s member was still fit snugly inside its sheath, not a hint of arousal.

“Why aren’t you hard yet, Elly? Don’t you like me?”

Noelle didn’t respond except by hyperventilating and staring off into space with glassy eyes. Dess just rolled her eyes. “Kidding. Obviously you like me.” She smirked. “You know, performance issues aren’t that uncommon. I just gotta…” She traced the outline of Noelle’s sheath, and the younger girl’s breath hitched as she bucked her hips upwards ever-so-slightly.

Dess grinned and leaned down to suckle on one of Noelle’s breasts while she continued to coax her younger sister’s cock out. “God, you’re so cute, you know that? I’ve had these thoughts for…” She shuddered. “Far longer than I should have, really, given how young you were.” She grasped Noelle’s cockhead as it began to ease out of her sheath. “Even then, Angel, I just wanted to…” She groaned. “T-take you and ride that cute l-little cock…”

Noelle viscerally shuddered at the imagery her sister’s words painted in her mind. Just how long had Dess wanted to…

Much to her dismay, Dess continued. “I-it started when you were… t-ten. Just starting to wear those cute little skirts and dresses, growing out your hair, putting those cute little bows in it, easing into femininity…” She chuckled. “D-don’t know why Mom ever humored you with that. Fuck knows she never bought me what I wanted to wear.”

Noelle wanted to throw up. Ten years old. Dess was in high school. I was still in elementary.

Dess grasped Noelle’s dick, fully emerged from her sheath, and grunted in disappointment. “...Whatever. It’ll do.” She positioned herself above it and eased down, moaning and rolling her eyes back as she filled herself. “F-fuck… Baby sis…”

Noelle was unresponsive. Maybe if she pretended that none of this was real, it wouldn’t hurt this time.

She yelped as her sister’s hand impacted with her cheek, stinging. “Why are you being so quiet? Moan.” Dess grinned. “And call me ‘big sis’ while you’re at it.”

“B-big sis…” Noelle timidly murmured. Dess groaned and shuddered. “F-fuck. God, I can’t believe my little brother’s dick is finally inside of me. Holy shit…” She started grinding her hips, riding Noelle and letting out an unabated string of desperate moans.

Noelle felt her eyes grow damp, and she sniffled. It was all too much. The vivid flashbacks, Dess’s assault, the revelation of just how long Dess had wanted to…

The older girl moaned even louder upon hearing her sister starting to cry. “Oh my God…” She grinned maliciously, brushing away one of Noelle’s tears with her thumb while she kept riding. “Yeah? Gonna cry? Is it too much, Elly?”

Noelle gave a shaky nod and whimpered pathetically. “P-please…”

Dess’s grin widened. “Oh? You want more? Okay!” Noelle tried to shake her head, but her sister just ignored her, speeding up her hips instead and moaning.

Noelle felt herself nearing the edge. Panic filled her system, and every instinct told her to shove Dess off of her immediately. She weakly tried to push Dess off and warn her, incoherently mumbling out. “D-Dess, ‘m gonna…”

Her sister whined and took it as a sign to pin Noelle down by her neck, ensuring she couldn’t escape. The poor girl gasped for air and started crying even harder, forcing the words out. “d-dess, y-you gotta…”

“Shut up and cum inside me, N#ch#l#s.” She groaned out.

Noelle let out a broken sob at hearing Dess use the name of a young boy who had been dead and buried inside her for six years.

Dess whimpered and slammed herself all the way to the base, spasming around Noelle’s member. Noelle, overwhelmed, involuntarily bucked upwards into her sister’s sex and emptied herself inside.

Dess moaned with satisfaction, panting. “A-angel, I can’t believe I just got k-knocked up by my little brother…” She laid on top of Noelle for a brief minute, before her attitude flipped.

The older girl sat up and roughly shoved Noelle off her bed, the younger girl letting out a yelp as she fell to the floor. Noelle’s eyes were still wide and wet as she sniffled, with tears streaking down her face. The makeup she painstakingly applied that morning, just like every other, utterly ruined.

She felt wrong. Disgusting. She wanted to tear her skin off and press it back on the way it was supposed to fit onto her muscles.

Her sister provided no comfort. Dess stared down at her, emotionless. “Get lost, Elly.”

Noelle just nodded and scrambled out, grabbing her panties and ruined skirt before bolting to her room. She didn’t bother covering herself. No one else was home.

She collapsed onto the carpet in the middle of her room and curled up, sobbing.

Everything felt wrong. Every brush of her skin against anything made her body flinch. Her tears gave way to emptiness. She wished she had the guts to climb up onto the roof of the house, stare down at the manicured front lawn, and…

Her thoughts trailed off as her gaze fell onto her bag. Almost on autopilot, she crawled over, pulled out her phone, and opened the messages of someone she’d known for her whole life.

User: astaroth_dreaming

Last message: 3 Months ago

She curled up in the fetal position, her thumbs hovering above the screen for a moment, before typing out a message.

holidaygrrl1225: hi

She curled up tighter, filled with immediate regret. Stupid. Why did she text Kris? They spent so little time together now. They probably wouldn’t want to…

Her phone pinged, and she raised her puffy eyes back to the screen. 

astaroth_dreaming: hi elly!

astaroth_dreaming: everything ok?

holidaygrrl1225: Yeah!

holidaygrrl1225: Just um

holidaygrrl1225: Missed you. Wanted to talk

holidaygrrl1225: If thats okay

astaroth_dreaming: ofc!! i miss u too elly

astaroth_dreaming: so hows it going?

Noelle sniffled, and typed out another message.

holidaygrrl1225: busy. Mom’s being. Mom

astaroth_dreaming: yeah they tend to do that

Noelle let out a faint giggle.

holidaygrrl1225: todays been really tiring… But, um, can we talk more tomorrow, please? Maybe even go hang out somewhere faha

astaroth_dreaming: id love that!! <3

Noelle smiled faintly to herself.

holidaygrrl1225: Yay! Um, okay! See you, Kris!

astaroth_dreaming: u too elly :3

Noelle clung to the phone for a moment, before standing up shakily and stumbling onto her bed, haphazardly discarding the phone onto her nightstand.

Sleep came for her more easily that night.

Chapter Text

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! B-

Noelle groaned and fumbled around on her nightstand for her phone. Grabbing it, she missed the ‘off’ button several times before finally managing to turn of the incessant shrill tune, and collapsed in bed again for a few moments.

Reluctantly groaning, she pulled herself out of bed, making her way to her wardrobe, but stopping mid-stride once she saw herself in the mirror.

Her gaze flitted over to the discarded skirt and underwear, and then back to her unclothed bottom half and stained and sticky fur around her…

She shuddered, stomach churning.

She tore her eyes away. She needed to clean off. She felt disgusting.

Noelle quickly pulled on some pajama pants, haphazardly picked out an outfit for herself, and made her way to her and Dess’s shared bathroom. 

She quickened her pace as she passed her sister’s door.

She made extra sure to lock the bathroom door once she entered. Her body felt as if it were on autopilot. Nothing felt real. Shower tap on, wait for the water to warm up, clean her fur, wash and condition her hair. It all passed in a blur, as if she were a passenger.

While she was drying off, her gaze strayed to the mirror. She beheld her ‘reflection’.

Noelle’s view of her body had gotten far better in the past several years. After finally getting on proper HRT several years ago and not just puberty blockers, her fur texture had changed, her hips were wider, she had started developing breasts, and at this point had a decent cup size; and her breasts hadn’t even finished developing. She’d grown to love her body.

Now, though, it felt wrong. Her gaze strayed to her shoulders, to her jawline, to her lower half. All things she could normally ignore her insecurities over. She couldn’t see anything but the flaws. The… manliness of certain features.

Especially her…

Flashes of what Dess had done to her last night flowed through her mind like poison.

The nausea returned.

She quickly got dressed to avoid having to look at herself any further. She brushed her teeth. She left the bathroom, and her eyes avoided that black-painted door that brought nothing but dread.

As she passed through her doorframe, she anxiously glanced back to make sure no one was behind her. She walked over to her bed, checked for anyone underneath it. She checked her wardrobe. Her couch.

Am I really this paranoid now?

She shook away her thoughts like stray cobwebs. She shuffled over to her desk, grabbing her…

Grabbing nothing. Where were her pills?

Where are my pills?!

She frantically searched her room. She looked behind her desk; maybe the bottles had fallen. Her pills weren’t there. She glanced over to her bedside table. Her pills weren’t there. She rummaged through her trashcan, discarding old papers and packages on the floor in a frenzy. The fur on her hands was stained with stale vomit from two nights ago. Her pills weren’t there.

She scoured every inch of her room. Her pills never left her room. Her pills should have been in her room. Her pills weren’t in her room.

She collapsed onto the floor, clutching her head and hyperventilating.

She bolted back up. She could ask her mom to get more! Surely the hospital would let her refill the prescriptions early, or Mom could… pull her weight around to get them to refill it anyway!

She dashed down to the living room. Thank the Angel, her mom hadn’t left for work yet. 

She nervously approached the Holiday matriarch as she sat at the kitchen table. Carol glanced up at her. Her mother wore the tired and vaguely irritable look that never seemed to leave her face. She sighed. “Yes, Noelle?”

The girl laughed nervously. “U-uh, hi, Mom! S-so, I think I lost my HRT pills somehow… I don’t know how, I always leave them in the same spot, but they weren’t there, and we just recently refilled them, so if I don’t get them I’ll probably be months without–” She cut herself off and took a deep breath. “...S-so, do you think you could go get a refill? Please?”

Her mother sighed, sounding even more irritable. “Noelle, you need to learn to keep better track of your belongings. I expect a higher level of responsibility from you.”

Noelle protested. “B-but–” 

Her mother’s icy gaze silenced her. “‘But’ nothing, Noelle. Your possessions are your own responsibility. Perhaps a few months’ time to dwell on that will instill a lesson you should have learned years ago.”

She shivered and nodded obediently. “Y-yes, Mother. I’m sorry.”

Carol’s attention returned to her plate and her phone as Noelle trudged away dejectedly.

She collapsed onto her bed. Her veins felt like they were filling with dread as static filled her head. Months without her testosterone blockers? The thought was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

She laid crying in bed for almost an hour. She heard her mom leave for work at some point. She didn’t budge.

. . . . . . . . .

Eventually, she heard her bedroom door open. Noelle bolted up, terror flowing through her. There was only one other person in the house.

December Holiday stood in the doorway, grinning.

“How’s my little brother doing today?.”

The younger girl glared at her sister. “What do you want, December?”

Dess pouted. “Is that any way to talk to your older sister?” She sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know. I got bored jerking off to listening to you crying about me throwing out those dumb fucking pills.”

Noelle clenched her fists and raised her voice, screaming, “You WHAT?”

Dess ignored her sister and kept talking. “Of course, I put them somewhere you couldn’t get to them again. Fuck, I wonder if I can keep you from even getting a refill…” She grinned to herself, mulling over potential options.

Noelle stormed over to her sister. “Where are my pills, December?”

She felt the impact of a fist into her stomach, and she collapsed to the ground, gasping. The older girl stood over her with a disturbingly blank expression. “Don’t talk to your big sister like that, N#ch#l#s.”

Noelle crawled away from the older girl. Her bedroom door was behind her. Maybe she could make a–

The two girls heard their doorbell sing a Christmassy tune. She took the brief moment of distraction on Dess’s part to scramble up and bolt down the stairs, past the couch, into the foyer. She fumbled with the doorknob, wrenching open the door to see–

Kris.

Her childhood friend stood there, clad in a knee-length red plaid skirt, a black band tee, and worn sneakers. They peered at her from behind their bangs and fidgeted awkwardly. “hi, noelle. uh…” They stared at her frazzled, frightened appearance, taking note of how she was panting from exertion. “...you okay?”

Noelle immediately replaced the fear on her face with a hopefully-convincing fake smile. “Y-yep! Um, it’s good to see you Kris! H-how have you been?”

They hid their eyes behind their bangs again. “good. i was thinking about what you said yesterday, and i just… kinda wanted to drop by. see if you wanted to do anything.” They raised their head again, and their eyes lit up. “hi, dess!”

Noelle tensed up, glancing behind her at the older girl, casually leaning on the wall as if nothing had just happened between them. “Hey, Krismas! How’s it going?”

They nodded. “g-good. how’re–” 

Noelle interrupted them. “Um, I’d love to go hang out with you! I’m not doing anything today, so I’m completely free, faha. L-let’s go!”

Kris stared at her oddly as she ran off. “...o-okay?” They glanced back at Dess, smiling and waving. “...’bye, dess!”

She chuckled. “Bye, kid. Go catch up to her.”

Kris nodded and bolted off after Noelle.

. . . . . . . . .

Kris was out of breath by the time they caught up to her. They really needed to get out more. 

She sat down on the shore of the lake, picking at the soil.

Kris collapsed next to her, panting, and signed out, <wait next time>

She winced. “S-sorry, Kris. Just… really wanted to get out of the house.”

They nodded and stared at her, concerned. “why?”

Noelle sighed, and took a moment to respond. “...Lost my HRT pill bottles. Don’t know where they went, and when I told her, Mom decided that depriving me of arguably life-saving medication was a good ‘teaching moment’ to ‘learn some responsibility’.” She scoffed and fell back onto the grass, sighing.

Kris gasped softly. “...jesus, elly. that’s…” They shook their head. “...i could get mom to talk to her about it.”

She curled up into a ball. “...I don’t know if she’ll listen, but I appreciate it, Kris.”

Kris nodded, gazing at the tranquil lake.

“...you said you don’t know where they went?”

She sighed. “...Yeah. I always keep them in the same spot, but…” She trailed off, and just shook her head. “Yeah, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I probably just did something dumb.”

Kris hummed. They were naturally concerned at how Noelle had shown up at the door, and while they were ready to accept whatever explanation she had for them, they didn’t think that the loss of her medication could be the whole story. 

They shook their head. They were worried about her, but they knew they shouldn’t jump to conclusions. The two of them had drifted apart, and they weren’t really sure what Noelle’s ‘normal’ was anymore. Or, maybe they were just… mistaken about what they’d thought they’d seen.

But, still, they would look out for her. The two of them had drifted apart before, and Kris didn’t intend to let anything like that happen again. 

“...Kris?”

They let out a squeak of surprise and jumped slightly. Noelle was sitting up again and gazing at them. “Earth to Kris, faha!”

They laughed softly. “sorry. got distracted…”

Noelle smiled. “It’s alright. Um… It’s nice spending time with you again. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking or not, if that makes sense?”

Kris nodded and smiled faintly. “...yeah.”

The two teens sat together for hours, intermittently making small talk and listening to the sounds of the lake. 

Neither of them wanted to leave the other's side.

After the sun set, Noelle reluctantly waved goodbye to Kris, telling them she’d see them tomorrow. Kris nodded in acknowledgement, and the two friends walked off towards their respective homes in the dimming crepuscular light.

Chapter Text

Kris glanced at their messages with Noelle as they lounged at their brother’s old desk.

holidaygrrl1225: today was fun<3 missed u

They knew they couldn’t really accurately judge if Noelle was acting out of character. The two of them had been estranged for years, ever since a quarrel between the Dreemurrs and Holidays over some of Dess’s… less than responsible behavior. Dess had been driving while high and driving without a license, Asgore found illicit substances on her far worse than what she usually experimented with and had reason to believe she was distributing, and was forced to arrest her.

When Carol heard, she was livid. Long story short, the whole debacle had ended with the incident covered up and Asgore kicked off the police force. Noelle and Kris, simply by virtue of their families’ relationship being so strained at such a young age, naturally drifted apart until it felt like they were little more than acquaintances. 

Of course, they still talked, but it was… different. Strained somewhat. They studied together, Noelle would pass them notes, but it felt like their friendship had started to wither and die on that day five years ago, all because of the poor decisions of December Holiday.

Sure, they missed Noelle– they desperately missed her, in fact. The gap between them had just felt impossible to close, and even if, logically, they knew better, they’d believed deep down that Noelle was happier without them.

Which is why, even if Kris desperately wanted to believe that Noelle was perfectly fine and just reached out because she missed them, they knew that their suspicions otherwise were at least somewhat founded. To, out of the blue, overcome half a decade of baggage, strain, and distance, to come and ask Kris to spend time with her, and then to seem frightened when she’d answered the door, and immediately run from her house as far as she could…?

Kris had no idea what to do. If they brought it up directly, and were wrong, there was a chance that they’d ruin their friendship again, and that Noelle would finally get sick of them and realize that she’s better off without–

They smothered the offending voice. All they could do at this point was just be there for Noelle, act as an escape if she needed one, and be there to listen and help her if something was happening at home.

. . . . . . . . .

Noelle groaned.

She’d been laying and refusing to get up, despite the fact that she had, in fact, woken up several hours ago at this point. She felt nauseous and would rather go to ten more funerals for her father than pull herself out from under the covers and potentially have to share a room with her sister.

All the same, she finally grabbed her phone off of her nightstand and stared at the blindingly bright screen.

12:17PM.

Noelle sighed. Whether she wanted to or not, she knew she needed to eat something, even if her stomach was currently rebelling at the idea. It was probably just stress. She was always nauseous when she was stressed.

The girl reluctantly untangled herself from the sheets, pulled on a discarded cardigan… and let out an undignified squeal of surprise as her phone rang, nearly dropping it several times before recovering and answering.

“H-hello?” She answered, trying to avoid sounding out of breath.

“hi, elly!” Kris’s voice flowed from the phone, soft and subdued as ever. “i, uh, just was wondering if you wanted to hang out again today.” They paused for a moment, before continuing with a slightly but noticeably shaky and nervous voice, “...really enjoyed spending time with you yesterday.”

She smiled faintly to herself. “I did too. I wish that we…” She trailed off, before clearing her throat. “U-um, yeah. I’d love to spend more time with you. Library, maybe? There’s been some new books shipped in that I wanna check out.”

Kris laughed softly. “that works for me. does berdly work there today? i wanna go fuck with him.”

“Kris!!! Faha…”

She could swear she could feel them grinning on the other side of the phone. “i’m kidding. probably.” 

She smiled again, brighter this time. “U-um, gimme a bit and I’ll be off! I kinda… just got out of bed.” She laughed nervously.

Kris mock-gasped. “sleeping in till noon? what have you done with noelle holiday?”

She laughed. “Goodbye, Kris.”

The other teen hung up, leaving Noelle smiling to herself.

I missed them.

She opened her wardrobe, perusing her clothes. She wanted to wear something nicer than she usually did, but most of her dresses felt too nice for just spending time with a friend. Gosh, most of them felt like they were more suited for a date!

Noelle obliviously ignored how connecting the words ‘date’ and ‘Kris’ in her mind made her face heat up slightly.

She shrugged and pulled out an at least moderately casual sky-blue dress and white cardigan, before…

The door opened. Noelle let out a terrified squeak, dropped the clothes, and turned around to face the intruder.

Her sister.

Dess glared at her from the doorway. “Who was that, N#ch#l#s?”

Noelle whimpered. “I-it was no one! J-just Kris!”

Dess stalked forwards, backing Noelle against the wall. “Yeah? Are you trying to leave me, lil’ bro? What, is your sister not good enough for you anymore? Gonna leave me for some worthless–” Dess raised her voice to nearly a yell, before quieting herself. Noelle shrank back and prostrated herself against the wall.

“I-I’m sorry, Dess! I-it’s not anything like that, I promise!!”

Her sister hissed, shoving the younger girl to the floor. Noelle let out a yelp, before Dess pulled her back up onto her knees. “Don’t lie to me. I was listening the whole time. You’re fucking him, aren’t you?” She stared down at her sister as Noelle whimpered and started to hyperventilate. 

Dess grinned. “You know what, N#ck? I’m gonna show that little bastard who you really belong to.” She fished around in her pocket, before pulling out a switchblade. Noelle’s eyes widened and she started to struggle again, tears flowing. “D-Dess? W-what are you doing?! I’m sorry, okay! P-please don’t hurt me!! I love y–”

Dess ignored her and shoved her to the ground again, pressing her head into the carpet while planting one knee on the small of her back. She flipped the knife open, lowering it onto Noelle’s back, staring daggers into the back of Noelle’s skull. “Next time you two fuck, he’s gonna see this, and he’ll leave you. He’ll see how much of a cheap, unfaithful bitch you are, and he’ll know better than to even THINK about fucking touching MY little brother!” Her voice raised to a scream as she spoke, and as the younger girl lay deathly still, fear smothering her higher reason, Dess began to carve.

One vertical line. Dess ignored her sister’s scream. Curved, semicircular line connecting the two points of the last line. A space. A vertical line. Noelle was still screaming. Her sister didn’t care. She had her firmly pinned. Three smaller vertical lines, spaced evenly across the vertical one. The middle line was smaller. A space. A line that curved twice. Another space. Another curved line. More lines, coming together to form a familiar outline. Noelle was sobbing beneath her.

Dess stared down at her handiwork, panting. Her name, carved into her little sister’s back, complete with a pine tree, a symbol she used to denote her handiwork in art or graffiti. Even when, in the latter case, she knew it’d get her caught. Carol would just bail her out anyway. It didn’t matter. 

The younger girl was sobbing beneath her. Dess stood and yanked her up onto her knees. Noelle screamed. Dess stared down at the tearful younger girl, biting her lip and panting. Dess fumbled with her belt with one hand, while keeping her other on the back of Noelle’s head. The older girl dropped her pants and pulled down the same boxers she’d been wearing for days. The thought of how Noelle’s seed had leaked into them kept her from ever wanting to take them off again.

Dess unceremoniously shoved her younger sister’s face into her cunt, holding her there while the younger girl sputtered and gasped for air. “Shut the fuck up and lick, N#ch#l#s.”

Noelle let out a sob and followed her instruction, clumsily tonguing her sister’s sex. Dess groaned, relaxing and letting her sister do all the work for her. She didn’t care that her sister’s tongue was inept and clumsy, the fact that she’d just carved her name into her was more than enough to push her towards an orgasm. 

For the time being, though, Dess removed her hand from Noelle’s head, warning the younger girl, “Keep licking or I’ll gut you.” She reached into her pocket, pulling out a spare blunt she’d prepared for later, and her lighter. She lit it up and took a drag, sighing contentedly. She ignored her sister’s sobbing.

Soon enough, Dess felt herself nearing the edge, and she shoved Noelle’s head as far into herself as she could. “Keep going, you slut. F-fuck. Just like that…” She groaned, her fingers intertwining with her hair.

Noelle’s body was wracked with silent sobs as her sister groaned and squirted all over her face, panting. She held the younger girl’s head there, barely letting her breathe, before giggling and spinning her sister around and shoving her to the ground with her back exposed again.

Dess carefully lowered the blunt she still held in her hand towards the cuts on her sister’s back, before carefully and slowly tapping out ashes and letting them fall into the wounds on her sister’s back. Noelle screamed and thrashed around, but it didn’t matter. Her older sister was always stronger than her. Dess didn’t stop until she’d sullied each cut with ash and was confident that she’d increased the likelihood of them getting infected and scarring.

Either way, if they didn’t, she’d just try again ‘till they did.

The younger girl trembled as her sister stood, sighing. “Well, go see your boyfriend, I guess. I don’t care.” She simply strolled out of the room, as if nothing had happened.

Once it didn’t feel like agony to try to move anymore, Noelle slowly, shakily rose onto her feet. Her dad had taught her what to do if she ever cut herself really badly, and neither him or her mom were there, years ago. She was thankful he’d made sure to drill the information into her. She stumbled over to the door and to the bathroom, ignoring the noises she heard coming from her sister’s room. She fumbled with the cabinet under the sink, pulling out a first aid kit she knew was still stashed in their bathroom. She grabbed a clean towel and held it to her back, hissing with pain and trying to suppress her tears. 

She waited for the bleeding to lessen, before turning on the shower and stepping in. She immediately let out a yelp and backed towards the wall with the showerhead, letting the water flow into and across the wounds instead of directly into them. Stupid mistake. What would Dad say if he could see that?

She let the wounds rinse out. She cleaned them with soap. She covered them with gauze and bandages from the first aid kit. 

They still hurt, but thankfully much less. She quickly and clumsily dried her hair with a towel, dashed back to her room, threw on the dress and cardigan she’d picked out earlier, and ran out of the house without looking back.

. . . . . . . . .

Kris was slouched in one of the chairs in the TeenZone and studiously ignoring the anime reviews from someone who was certainly not their teacher while checking their phone. It wasn’t like Noelle to be late, but as they’d been telling themself constantly, they didn’t really know what her normal was these days.

Berdly had stupidly tried to pester them about the late fee when they entered, to which their only response was something juvenile about his mother. His shift ended soon after that, anyway, and no one else was in the Library.

Just as they were starting to get genuinely worried, Noelle burst in. Her hair was still damp, she looked like she’d gotten dressed in about two seconds, and… she looked like she’d been crying. A lot.

Kris kept their cool and waved, patting the chair next to them. Noelle sat down next to them nervously. She winced as she sat down, and kept her back from touching the chair.

“H-hi, Kris! Sorry I’m late, faha… Had to um…” She trailed off, grasping for an excuse. “...I accidentally…”

Kris quieted her softly, before steadying their own nerves. “...are you okay, elly?”

Noelle’s smile faltered. “W-what? Of course I am! Um, have you watched the Dragon Blazers spinoff show that came out recently? Personally, I thought it wasn’t faithful enough to the–”

“elly” Kris said, even quieter than usual. They moved their chair a bit closer to hers. “we… haven’t been too close for a while now. but…” They took a deep breath. “if anything’s happening, if you…” They trail off nervously, before laying their hand on hers. “you can tell me anything. you know that, right?

Noelle fidgeted with the hem of her dress. “I-I…” She sighed, and put her head in her hands, before faintly mumbling.

“...I’ll think about it.”

“okay” Kris squeezed her hand, before drawing back a bit. Despite the… topic and tone, they felt their face heating up from being so close to Noelle, which they promptly ignored. It’s probably nothing.

After a few minutes’ silence, Noelle laughed nervously. “Um… Can I go back to talking about the Dragon Blazers spinoff now?”

Kris giggled softly. “yeah, sure.”

. . . . . . . . .

Noelle was still rambling about the bad Netflix adaptation a few hours later.

“...And they made the Dark King this… weird pushover? Like, he tries to command the Skeleton army, and they just kinda laugh and kill him with his own crown, and he explodes?” She pauses to take a deep breath, and keeps rambling. “And his plans are so stupid. Like, he gets discovered immediately by the White Cloak before he even has a chance to make the other hammers, and then just exposes his plans to her? So what the heck are they planning to do for season 2 and 3? Oh, and, cheezus, the armor is all horrible looking compared to the movies, even with that huge budget. It looks like plastic! And…”

She paused for a moment, staring at Kris. The teenager was gazing at her, smiling and resting their chin on their hand. They were wearing a pleated denim skirt and a white, tight-fitting tee with some Sanrio character on it, the former showing off their lithe legs, the latter giving a hint of their…

Her face heated up. Bad Noelle! No! Stop! That’s Kris, for Angel’s sake!

They cocked their head like a dog. “everything okay?”

Noelle opened her mouth for a moment, closed it, and then nodded as she found her voice again. “Yep! I’m okay! Totally! Okay is the thing that I am!” She cringed internally. Angel, kill me.

Kris looked at her confused. “okay?”

Noelle took a deep breath. “O-okay! Um, y-yeah, I think that’s probably all I have to say right now.”

She felt her gaze being drawn to them again. When did Kris get so…

Pretty?

She felt her face heating up again. She was thinking about Kris Dreemurr like this? Kris Dreemurr, her childhood friend? She was thinking about how soft their lips looked, about how it’d feel to brush up against them and dig her hands into their hair as they...

Snap!

She yelped, coming back to her senses to see Kris was leaning forward and had snapped their fingers an inch away from her face. “Kris!!!”

They laughed faintly. “sorry! i couldn’t help myself, you just like, left this mortal plane for a second.” They paused, demeanor growing slightly less silly. “...you okay?”

She nodded quickly. “Y-yep! Sorry, I just got distracted, I guess…”

They snorted. “understatement. but, uh…” They checked the clock on the wall. “i think mom needs me back to help with making a pie soon. we’ve, uh, been doing that. trying to…” They flapped their hands briefly. “trying to bond a bit more.”

Noelle smiled reluctantly. “O-okay! Um, see you later?”

The other teenager nodded. “mhm. and elly?”

“Y-yeah?”

“text me if you need anything. seriously.” 

The unspoken implication hung between them. “...Okay. I… I really appreciate it, Kris. Thank you.”

They nodded and smiled sadly. “y-yeah.” They made their way to the door, waved, and soon enough, it was just Noelle alone with her thoughts.

She strolled over to a nearby bookshelf, idly browsing titles. Nothing interesting, and nothing she hadn’t read before. She sighed and made her way to the exit. 

The stroll home was uneventful By this time of day, the sun was starting to edge close to the horizon. When Noelle got home, she saw her sister standing in the doorway to her own bedroom and eyeing her with simmering suspicion and jealousy. “What did the two of you get up to, N#ck?”

Noelle jumped slightly. “W-we went to the Library, Dess. We just… hung out and stuff. Can I go take a nap please? I’m really tired...”

The older girl scoffed and retreated into her bedroom, slamming the door. Noelle shivered and scurried into her room, shutting the door and pushing her study desk against the door to prevent it from being forced open. Just in case.

She collapsed into bed, not even bothering to change out of her outfit, and curled up into a ball.

She thinks about Dess. She thinks about the events of the past few days. She thinks about Kris, and what they had said to her. She thinks about how worried they were, and how they offered to help her if she needed it. She curled up tighter, and tears began to leak from the corners of her eyes.

What should I do?