Chapter Text
Somehow, they got on the topic of relationships. This was not what Sakuya had expected the conversation to become. He felt a little embarrassed to be talking about things like this with his senior.
“So not even a first kiss?” Johnny said.
Sakuya shook his head.
“Wow. I'd already lost my virginity at your age,” Johnny said. “But then again, I wasn't an idol yet. So things were different for me.”
Sakuya awkwardly played with the button on the passenger door of Johnny's car, making the window move up and down. Johnny turned to him.
“Hey, I could teach you, you know?”
Sakuya's eyebrows raised. “What?”
“If you want to learn how to kiss, it's not that hard. I could teach you.”
Johnny said it like it was the most casual statement ever. The casualness made Sakuya's brain short-circuit. Johnny had invited Sakuya out for dinner and now he was in the passenger seat of Johnny's car getting offered kissing lessons. Was this a joke?
“I…”
“No pressure. It's just that I think at your age you should have some experience with it. If you get a girlfriend and don't know how to kiss, she'll probably be disappointed.”
“She would?” Sakuya asked.
“Yeah, trust me. I know exactly how women are. They like guys who know stuff. The innocent virgin thing is a turn off for most women.”
“I'm not innocent,” Sakuya frowned.
Sure, he was a virgin and he wasn't experienced with relationships, but he wasn't a little kid. It's not like he was completely dumb about the topic of sex.
“You say you're not innocent,” Johnny said. “But seriously, if you haven't even kissed anyone, you're going to look bad in the eyes of women. Women want to be led when it comes to relationships. Guys who haven't even kissed can't be leaders.”
It made sense, kind of. But still…Johnny teaching him how to kiss? It was awkward.
“Come here,” Johnny said.
He leaned over the middle console between them and cupped Sakuya's face. It was so sudden that Sakuya couldn't even register what was happening until he was already in the middle of it. Johnny was kissing him. Not just a peck on the lips either, but full on. Sakuya gasped, eyes wide open and his hand flying up to push against Johnny's chest.
Johnny pulled back.
“Hyung!” Sakuya screeched. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. He couldn't believe he was wiping Johnny's spit.
“Sorry, I rushed it a little,” Johnny said. “I just figured I could get you over the initial hurdle of nerves.”
“It's not that,” Sakuya said. He glanced around quickly, wondering if anybody else could have seen them. It was late at night and Johnny's windows were darkly tinted. But still, what if someone had followed them, like a sasaeng or something? Wasn't Johnny worried? He looked at Johnny again. “Should we be doing this?”
Johnny smiled at him. “I don't see why not. It's up to you, though. The more practice you get the better. And I do have a lot of experience. I'm willing to help, since we're good friends now.”
Friends? Maybe it was an American thing because Sakuya certainly had never thought of helping friends in this way.
“Uh…” Sakuya hesitated. Would it be wrong for him to say no? It seemed like Johnny really was trying to be nice to him. Would Johnny be offended if Sakuya turned him down? “I don't know…” Sakuya muttered.
“How about this?” Johnny sat up and adjusted himself at a more direct angle in his seat. “How about I break it down more slowly? Maybe jumping right into it was the wrong approach.”
Sakuya wasn't sure how to respond.
“When you kiss someone, like real kissing and not just a peck when you're kissing your friends, you have to relax a little,” Johnny explained. “Don't purse your lips. Keep them relaxed and more open, like this” he pointed to his mouth, showing the difference. Sakuya watched him with sweat beginning to make hands feel clammy. He wiped his palms on the thighs of his jeans. “Then, you go in for the kiss, and it's best to go at an angle or else you'll bump your nose which isn't fun. Come here.”
Johnny cupped Sakuya's chin and tilted his head upwards. Heat spread under Sakuya's skin, he swallowed. Johnny went in slowly, tilting his head to the side then stopping just before their lips made contact. Sakuya closed his eyes tightly. He was hot all over but he was shivering in anticipation.
“When you kiss someone, you should focus on their lips. Don't go in tongue first. Pushing tongue too early throws everything off, and besides, not everyone likes tongue action anyway.” Johnny said.
His breath was warm over Sakuya's mouth. It tickled Sakuya's skin.
“I like to start with kissing the bottom lip, personally,” Johnny continued. “But it's up to you what you think feels better. I'll show you.”
Finally, Johnny's lips touched Sakuya's again. It was slow and soft, a lot more soft than what Sakuya was expecting. He took in an awkward breath, almost a choke in the back of his throat. He felt Johnny's smirk against his mouth. He was focusing on kissing Sakuya's bottom lip, lips relaxed as he pecked against it repeatedly. His fingers softly slid into Sakuya's hair, moving around the back of his neck to coax him closer. It was slow but somehow overwhelming. Sakuya was trying to keep up with the rhythm of it.
They went on for a bit more before Johnny pulled away, which Sakuya was grateful for because his heart was pounding and he felt like he was running out of breath.
He opened his eyes and Johnny was looking at him with a smile. Sakuya felt like his face must have been beet-red.
“Uh..” he stated.
“You're not too bad,” Johnny said. He still had his fingers in Sakuya's hair, his thumb brushing against the nape of Sakuya’s neck. “Just try to relax a little more. I can't tell you're still tense.”
“I kind of couldn't breathe,” Sakuya said.
Johnny laughed and leaned closer again. Sakuya felt his stomach dip like he was dropping on a roller coaster. Johnny kissed his top lip this time, pulling it lightly between his lips then pecking against it. He pulled back slightly. “Take small breaths like this when you pull back," Johnny said. Then he kissed him again, tilting his head in the other direction this time. Sakuya's mind was spinning.
The miss kept going. Sakuya's hands moved to rest awkwardly on Johnny's shoulder. He was trying to keep everything at balance, remembering to keep his lips relaxed, to breathe, to match Johnny's pace. And at the same time he was still freaking out, because oh God, he was kissing Johnny.
Johnny finally pulled back again. Sakuya chased his lips for a moment, but stopped when he felt Johnny's fingers leave his hair. Sakuya opened his eyes again.
“There, that was better,” Johnny said. “You're a quick learner.”
Sakuya struggled to swallow. He wiped his mouth. They both fixed themselves in their seats.
“It's getting kind of late, huh?” Johnny said. “I guess I should get you home.”
“Uh, yeah,” Sakuya said.
He put his seatbelt on and kept his eyes ahead as Johnny started the car in drive and they pulled out of the parking lot. They listened to music on the way back to Sakuya's dorms and Sakuya was freaking out internally the whole time while Johnny didn't seem phased at all. He hummed along to the music and tapped his hands over the steering wheel like it was all nothing. As if they hadn't literally just been making out.
When they finally got back to the apartment building, Sakuya felt like he could finally breathe properly again.
“It was nice hanging out with you,” Johnny said, turning the radio down. Sakuya nodded, wiping his sweaty hands over his jeans. “I know our schedules almost never line up for free time, but seriously whenever you're free again let me know. I'm totally down to teach you more things.”
Sakuya felt like the dinner he'd eaten earlier just might come back up if he stayed in the car any longer.
“Or we can just chill and nothing else. It's all up to you.” Johnny reached over and squeezed his thigh. It was quick enough to just be friendly. He pulled away before Sakuya could even react to it. “Just call or text me whenever you want, you're fun company.”
They said their goodbyes and Sakuya couldn't get out of the car quick enough. He would've left his phone had Johnny not called him back to get it.
The elevator ride up to his dorm floor felt surreal. In a way, it almost felt to Sakuya that he had dreamed the whole evening with Johnny. But the nausea in his stomach felt very much real.