Chapter Text
Seonghwa had never been to one of these parties before. Wooyoung had tried to drag her more often than she could count but she never quite… felt like going. She’d always felt out of place, feared she wouldn’t belong.
Woo had of course told her that she was wrong. She was a bisexual woman. No matter if she had a boyfriend or not, if she’d kissed girls before or not, if she’d had any experience or not. And logically, logically, Seonghwa agreed, of course her identity wasn’t invalid and her attraction to women still real. She’d seen enough videos, Reddit posts and tweets in the last 3 years to know that this was harmful rhetoric being spread in the biphobic parts of the community. Not something she should listen to.
But it was hard. Seonghwa had finally, after years of confusion and insecurity, figured out she was bi when she was 22 years old. Way too late in her opinion, especially knowing Wooyoung had figured out he was bi at the ripe age of 15. It wasn’t a race of course, as her friend tried to remind her, but she couldn’t help but feel inferior. She’d grown up in a conservative family and had never met a queer person, at least not one who was out, before she entered university. It was understandable really, that she took a while to come to terms with it, and still it was just another thing that made her insecure.
Even more so, because just 3 months after she’d come to terms with her bisexuality she had fallen in love. With a guy. A (as she could now see) horrible guy. Who made her feel so deeply invalid and out of place in every bisexual space she’d ever tried to enter, even just online, that she just made-up excuses not to go. Not to pride, not to the meetings and support groups organized by the queer club, and not to these parties.
But now — after an appropriate wallowing period, in which she had switched from crying over her ex, to slapping herself for staying with him for two whole years, back to crying — she was here. At a party organized by the queer club of her university, the one that Wooyoung was a proud member of ever since he had entered uni 4 years ago, and she was scared.
She knew that technically there was nothing to be scared of, Wooyoung had told her exactly what happened at these parties, and it all seemed pretty chill. But now that she was here, she stood a bit awkwardly in the entrance to one of the rooms, a mocktail in hand, just where Wooyoung had left her 10 minutes ago with the words “oh, I think Sani and Yeosangie just arrived, I’m gonna go. Try to find someone to talk to, yeah? Come find me if you feel uncomfortable”, and a kiss on her cheek. She was lost.
She knew a few faces from campus, or Wooyoung birthday or housewarming or whatever parties, but no one she’d really talked to before. She was this close to simply taking the disappointment and leaving, deciding to either go back into hiding, or try again at a later date, when she spotted Yunho.
Instant relief flooded her body at seeing him. She’d never met up with him just the two of them, but when both of them were at the same parties or were dragged along by Wooyoung to the same activities, they always ended up talking. She even started watching some of his streams lately. She wasn’t playing the same games as him, but she still enjoyed having them on in the background while she cooked, or cleaned, or built Lego.
“So, Woo finally got you to come, huh?”, asked Yunho as soon as he came into earshot. A beaming smile spread over his face as he hugged her in greeting. Seonghwa just nodded, not quite sure what else to say.
“Well come in! Don’t just stand here like that. Come on, I’m gonna introduce you to Mingi, you haven’t really met them yet, right?”, he said, dragging her into the room towards a couch, where Mingi already sat, two drinks in hand and clearly waiting for their boyfriend to join them.
“No, not really”, Seonghwa mumbled towards Yunho before giving Mingi a little wave, “Hi.”. With how inconsistently both Seonghwa and Mingi attended group gatherings they rarely talked. Mingi mostly stuck with others, happy to catch up with his friends rather than making new ones. Not that they didn’t like each-other, they’d just never really talked. Additionally, even though she didn’t want to admit it, Seonghwa was just the teeniest tiniest bit intimidated. She’d never really talked to someone using they/them pronouns before. But now she was here, at a god damn queer party, and she truly did want to get to know Mingi better. Get your shit together Hwa, she thought. You wanna be more involved in the community? Here’s your chance.
So, after exchanging a quick greeting she sat down on the couch next to Mingi, who got a bit squished between her and Yunho, and talked.
It was surprisingly easy to talk to them. Mingi and Seonghwa were both a bit shy but quickly got into the grove of conversation. They talked about university and their hobbies, the party and the queer club, anything that came to mind. Yunho quirked up whenever there was a lull in conversation.
“How did you even meet each other? Wooyoung always says you’ve been together for ages, but what does that even mean?” Seonghwa asked.
It was clearly the right question to ask. Both of their faces lit up with a smile. “I’m surprised Yunho hasn’t told you yet,” Mingi responded, smile wide, “It’s his favourite story!”
“I wanted to wait until you got the chance to tell it, I know how much you like showing it off”, Yunho replied smiling.
“It’s a cute story!”, Mingi defended themselves. “The cutest”, Yunho answered, kissing them softly, running a hand through their platinum blond hair. Mingi flushed hard, all of their previously acquired casual coolness and the confidence they’d built up as soon as the conversation started to flow completely gone. It was adorable and Seonghwa’s heart ached with want. God she felt lonely.
After a few seconds of Yunho staring lovingly at his partner and Mingi trying to avoid his gaze as best as possible to gain their cool back, Mingi started talking.
“We met during dance class when we were 14 and were instantly best friends. Yunho came to my school during lunch breaks. I was such a slow eater my friends would always leave me once they were done, so I ate alone a lot. I begged my mom to let me transfer schools to be with him and after meeting him she let me.”
“His mom thought we were dating when she first met me, said there was a certain tension in the air and asked if we weren’t a bit too close,” Yunho added with a chuckle.
Mingi blushed. “We discovered queerness together. Yunho came out first, told me he didn’t really care who he was dating, as long as the personality fit.”
“‘Cute and just the right amount of sexy’ were my exact words if I remember correctly” Yunho said, nudging Mingi lightly and wiggling his brows.
“You were such a boy back then! Still are honestly, can’t believe you said that to me when we were so young”, then nudged back making Yunho wiggle sideways to escape their elbow. “I was flirting!” “Flirting badly!” They continued their banter for a little bit, Seonghwa watching amused from the side. They were so comfortable with each other, so easily together.
“Well,” Mingi said clearing his throat, “I came out a bit later, as gay, and he asked me out when we were 17. I was terrified when I realized I was non-binary, terrified he’d leave me. I knew he didn’t care, but it’s different to meet someone who’s out as trans and fall in love with them, than falling in love with someone as one gender and later realize they’re another.”
At that, Yunho picked up the story, continuing while carding his fingers through Mingi’s hair, lightly massaging their scalp while they laid their head on his shoulder. “I knew before they told me, maybe not exactly how they identified, but I knew they weren’t a guy. It was always there under the surface, whenever we spoke about gender or saw people who were trans, they had this shine in their eyes like that was where they belonged, like they admired them for being themselves, for being what they were too scared of being. They grew really anxious, they’ve always been, but it got really bad around that time. It was definitely a bunch of stuff coming together, but I knew this had something to do with it. I didn’t want to push them, so I just let out as many hints as much as I could, showing that I was really just in love with them whatever happened,” and with a teasingly he added, “that I’d still love them if they were a worm.”
Mingi whined lightly, the alcohol in their drink had started to make itself known and they turned their head to hide in the crook of Yunhos neck. Seonghwa figured there was probably a story behind the whole “would you still love me if I was a worm” thing but she didn’t ask.
Yunho gave Mingi a quick kiss on the crown of his head before turning back to Seonghwa. He himself looked a bit flushed from the alcohol but a lot more present and put together than Mingi. “So yeah, they came out to me, I told them I loved them, always, and we’ve been together for 6 years, they’ve been my partner, instead of boyfriend, for 4 of those 6 and that’s the story.”
“That’s so fucking cute!”, Seonghwa almost yelled, surprising herself with the outburst, even though of course her words were true, Mingi and Yunho really were fucking cute.
Yunho laughed and turned to Mingi who Seonghwa could see smiling into Yunhos shoulder. “Hear that, princess”, Yunho whispered lowly, “we’re fucking cute.”
It had been just loud enough for Seonghwa to hear, and she got the suspicion that that was exactly how loud Yunho wanted to have it, especially when seeing Mingis completely flustered expression, as they turned to Seonghwa and then Yunho. Clearly knowing Seonghwa had heard, but seemingly not minding the embarrassment too much, as their next course of action was to kiss Yunho in a way that clearly signaled that this was in fact, Seonghwa’s out.
She got up, snatching up her empty cup on the way and decided to refill it at the bar. She could leave now; she did what she wanted to do and felt it would be completely valid to head out. She hadn’t been outside of her apartment this late for months, even though it was barely after 10pm. This was her time to roll herself into her blanket like a burrito and play some animal crossing before going to sleep.
But she felt... almost excited to meet more of the others. Maybe she should go and find Woo for him to introduce her to a few more people. The conversation with Mingi and Yunho had been so easy, comfortable, and non-judgmental she craved more.
She headed to the bar, re-filling her mocktail. She didn’t mind drinking alcohol in general, but she always got a bit loud and open when she got tipsy, and she wanted to be on her best behavior with so many people around. And while she didn’t have to drive, she still had to get home later. Seonghwa was a careful drinker. She’d never been black out drunk before and only really drunk twice in her life, both times with only Wooyoung, San and Yeosang present, on nights where she was meant to sleep over anyways.
It made her feel a bit silly sometimes, when everyone else drank but she didn’t, but she’d seen enough people be way too drunk in her life to know to be careful. She didn’t want to hurt anyone accidentally because she was drunk.
Seonghwa started moving down the hall, to try and find Wooyoung. Walking through another doorway she entered a room much louder and darker than the rest, much more Wooyoung’s style.
The room was larger and filled with more people than she originally assumed. On the far wall from the entrance there were two big windows leading out to the dark street. The room itself was lit in the same bright disco light as the others, one of Seonghwa’s favorite songs, Chappel Roan’s Femininomenon, playing in the background. While the room she, Yunho and Mingi had sat and talked in before had more of a chill gathering than real party vibe, this was definitely a party. A dance floor was set up in the middle of the room, filled with people, on the side there stood some couches and chairs with tables where people drank, talked and made out. A few pride flags were hung up above the couches. Seonghwa recognized the lesbian, bi and trans flag, but there were a few others she was unfamiliar with.
She felt a bit of a déjà vu, standing there awkwardly in the doorway. But instead of one of her friends swooping in to pick her up, someone bumped into her, spilling cool liquid all over her back as they tried to enter the room. Seonghwa let out a yelp, turning around to whoever bumped into her.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry”, they said, anxiously waving their hand and slightly bowing in apology.
“Oh no it's completely my fault! I shouldn’t have stood here like that. I was just a bit lost”, Seonghwa rambled, returning the bow. She pulled the small packet of paper tissues that she carried with her at all times out of her pocket and started cleaning up the spilled drink on the floor.
“You really don’t have to do that!”, the person said, kneeling down next to her. Seonghwa ignored them, she really shouldn’t have been standing in the way like that. It was a quick fix anyways, as most of the drink had hit her shirt. “At least let me help!”, they said, snatching one of the tissues out of her had to clean up the rest of the liquid.
When they were done, both stood up and Seonghwa got a first real look at the person in front of her. They were shorter than her, about Wooyoung’s height maybe, hair short and dyed an electric blue, heavy boots on their feet, wearing baggy but stylish clothes and a black jean jacket completely covered in patches, buttons and pins, seemingly equal parts bought and self-made. Seonghwa spotted both the rainbow and the lesbian flag in addition to slogans like “be gay do crime” and “end the patriarchy”.
After a short while of staring at them, Seonghwa realized that she had just met, or rather crashed into, the first butch lesbian she’d encountered in her life. And a really, really, gorgeous one at that.
“I’m Hongjoong.” They introduced themselves and gave Seonghwa a slight smile. “My pronouns are she/her” she continued when Seonghwa didn’t respond. Seonghwa’s brain was malfunctioning, her shirt was clinging to her back uncomfortably, Hongjoong’s smile was replaying in her mind, and she still was transfixed by the overall appearance of the person in front of her. “Um”, she said a bit dumbly, “I’m Seonghwa.”
Hongjoong nodded, waited a bit, then asked “And your pronouns are?”
Seonghwa flushed hard, her entire face and neck heating up and turning her eyes away from Hongjoong’s. She was sure she had never felt so embarrassed in her entire life. She wanted to slap herself for being so ignorant but took a deep breath instead. She tried to pull herself together as best as possible, still not meeting Hongjoong’s eyes but determined to answer the question. “I use she/her, too.”
Hongjoong smiled again, lips parting to show her beautiful teeth. God, how can teeth be this pretty, Seonghwa thought, as the small bit of composure she’d manage to conjure up to answer Hongjoong’s question left her body.
“Nice to meet you, Seonghwa. I apologize again for crashing into you like that, I should have paid more attention”, Hongjoong said sheepishly.
“No, it’s really fine! I was standing in the way.”
“I guess right now we both are. We should probably get out of the way. Were you looking for someone? Or, oh, maybe you want to go home to change your shirt? I hope that doesn’t stain. It’s not wine, at least, but it’s still quite red.”
It was the first time Seonghwa thought to look at the state of herself, too occupied with staring at Hongjoong to remember her own appearance.
Her faintly blue blouse had untucked itself slightly from the sleek black pants she was wearing and on the lower right side of the back spread a big, red splotch. The blouse was one of her favorites. It was just thin enough to be ever so slightly see through, with lace details in the back and around the arms, hinting at her silhouette without being too revealing for her comfort. She had debated if she should wear it today, scared of this exact thing happening, but she’d wanted to look her best on her first night out in such a long time. Outfits like these always made her feel a lot more confident.
Seonghwa thought about going home. Just finding Wooyoung, telling him what happened and then leaving to wash out the stain at home and go to bed. But she didn’t feel like leaving quite yet. She wanted to talk to Hongjoong more. Seonghwa knew herself well enough to know she was quickly developing a crush on her, but she didn’t find herself caring. Really, she was equal parts nervous and excited about this opportunity. She had crushed on plenty of girls before, but either she didn’t get the opportunity to talk to them, or they were straight. Right here was a clearly not straight woman, who Seonghwa could talk to and maybe even get to know better. Not that that thought didn’t make her completely freak out internally.
“No”, Seonghwa answered as she looked up from her shirt, “I mean yes, I was looking for someone. But I don’t think he’s here. But it’s… nice here, good, cool, uhm… exiting. Maybe a place to get to know new people? But honestly, I don’t really know how to talk to people. But I guess I’m talking to you? And I don’t really feel like leaving, the shirt will dry anyways, it’s warm enough in here and… yeah.”
She realized she was rambling, looking at Hongjoong’s amused face and stopped talking. A blush creeped up her cheeks as she willed herself not to fidget too much. Get a grip, Seonghwa.
Hongjoong smiled. God that smile, it made Seonghwa feel like she was melting. “We are talking, yes. And if you don’t mind, I’d quite like to continue, do you want to go and sit down? I just came in here to check on things, make sure everything is alright, but I can talk a while.”
“I’d like that”, Seonghwa replied, managing to return the smile.
Next thing she knew her hand was in Hongjoong’s and she was getting gently dragged towards the couches. Hongjoong’s hand was warm and soft in her own, and a flutter went through Seonghwa stomach as she looked down at their joined hands. Hongjoong’s was smaller than hers but somehow her fingers looked sturdier, stronger despite their size.
When they arrived at their destination Hongjoong sat down on one of the last empty couches but didn’t let go of Seonghwa’s hand. Instead, she gently placed their hands in between them on the couch and loosely holding on, clearly giving Seonghwa the opportunity to pull her hand away if she wanted to.
They sat in silence for a small moment, Seonghwa tightening the grip on the others hand and desperately trying to think of something to say.
“So”, she started, “you said you wanted to check up on things, do you, like, help organize these events or were you just being a responsible citizen?”
Hongjoong chuckled a bit and Seonghwa mentally gave herself a pat on the back for making the beautiful woman laugh, even if it was a small one. “I suppose you don’t know me yet, so it makes sense you wouldn’t know. I’m actually the main organizer of these events. I’m currently the leading member of the queer club.”
“Really? That’s so cool! And really impressive, you look too young to be a leader of such a big university organization, no offense.”
“None taken. I am quite young, even though you don’t look to be any older yourself, but when I joined the queer club a few years ago the whole thing was much smaller. I took over and made it into what it is.” Hongjoong was smiling proudly. Clearly, she had spent much time and effort into what the queer club had become.
“On the topic of making the queer club into what it is today, for growth purposes, may I ask how you got to know about the party?”, Hongjoong asked, “I don’t want to seem like one of these annoying advertisers on the phone but it would really help me to know what granted us such gorgeous guests.”
Seonghwa blushed, no woman had called her gorgeous before. Maybe to hype her up, like when she was trying a new outfit and Yeosang told her how gorgeous she looked in it. But never like this. “Oh, it was just Wooyoung”, she responded bashfully.
“Ah yes Wooyoung”, Hongjoong responded with a chuckle, “our greatest walking sign. I don’t think any of our social media accounts or posters have brought in half as many members as Woo.”
“Probably not, he’s tried to convince me to come for years now. And even though it took him a while he is really persuasive.”
“Years? Why did it take so long?”
It was a normal question, natural to how the conversation was going, but it stressed Seonghwa out. How much into detail did she want to go with a person she’d just met? She was close to just pulling out one of her usual responses, how she didn’t have the time or just didn’t feel ready yet, but something in Hongjoong’s eyes convinced her otherwise.
“I’m bi. It took me a while to come to terms with that, and when I finally did, I got a boyfriend. I know I could have come anyways, Wooyoung has told me about a billion times, but really, he, my ex, he… made it out to be a bit of a joke. Like the whole bisexual thing was really just me trying to be different”, she spat the last word out with a surprising amount of reverence. “And logically I knew he was wrong, but I thought maybe he was right, you know? I’ve never… I don’t have a lot of experiences with women, and maybe I was just faking it for attention or something. I don’t know…
“But I’m very sure now!”, she quickly added, “Very bisexual! Women! Yeah... you get it.”
Instead of laughing at her outburst Hongjoong just looked at her with an odd look in her eyes. “Yeah, I get it” she said , almost too quiet to hear over the music.
They continued talking comfortably on the couch for god knows how long. It was so easy to talk to Hongjoong. She was so interested in Seonghwa, laughed at her jokes and didn’t laugh when she embarrassed herself with another ramble or nervous outburst and she called her beautiful about a hundred times. So much that really, it should become repetitive but she somehow managed to sneak it into the moments where Seonghwa was least expecting it, making her blush every time, a faint pink color never leaving her cheeks.
When there was a lull of conversation Seonghwa paid attention to the music for the first time in a while and started to sway slightly, she really liked the song.
“Wanna dance?”, Hongjoong asked, already getting up and holding out her hand towards Seonghwa. She took it and let Hongoong lead her onto the dance floor.
It was at this point in a party where the mood reached an all-time high, everyone was drunk out of their minds but not too gone to have fun. The energy was up, and no one really cared much about what the others were doing. Everyone knew that soon they’d have to go home, but it was still early enough that trains and buses were still running on a regular schedule. It was the perfect time to just dance.
And they did, both of them laughing and swaying and dancing. Hongjoong tried to give Seonghwa pirouettes, but with their height difference it was sort of awkward for her to stretch her arm both far and high enough so that Seonghwa could spin underneath. Seonghwa found it incredibly endearing.
They fooled around like that, getting closer and closer to each other in the process until Seonghwa found herself right in front of the shorter woman. Hongjoong’s hand was in her hair, dragging her head down enough that their foreheads were almost touching. Hongjoong looked deeply into her eyes. Seonghwa wanted to turn away but she found herself trapped in Hongjoong’s gaze. Somehow Hongjoong managed to keep her exactly where she wanted her to be with barely any sort of physical force.
Their mouths were so close together that Seonghwa could feel Hongjoong’s breath on her lips. Seonghwa had never wanted to kiss someone so much.
But she hesitated, her mind spiraling.
She had only ever kissed one girl before, at her very first party at the age of 17 when she could still pretend like it was all just for a bit of fun. The girl had been one of her best friends at the time, but in reality, she was just fake. She was the type of girl to kiss other girls because weird, sexualizing guys found it hot when two women kissed in-front of them.
And she didn’t think Hongjoong was like that at all, she was just scared. Maybe kissing girls was somehow different from kissing guys, maybe if she tried right now, she would embarrass herself horribly, maybe she’d just misunderstood everything, maybe-
“Seonghwa”, Hongjoong whispered in a low voice. Her mouth was suddenly incredibly close to Seonhwa’s ear, the feeling of her breath sending shivers down her spine, completely breaking her out of her thoughts. “Can I kiss you?”
Seonghwa drew in a sudden breath. No one had ever asked her if they could kiss her before, it always felt implied in the moment. So far, she’d never really been kissed without her wanting to be. It was always the built up, the flirting, the overall atmosphere, that had implied consent.
But this… Hongjoong’s breath on her ear, one hand on her hip and one buried in her hair, Seonghwa’s own hands slung around the shorter’s neck. The burning desire paired with the heavy question hanging in the air. Seonghwa had never felt so hot in her life, never thought someone was as hot as Hongjoong right in this moment.
“Yeah”, she gasped.
It wasn’t a quick kiss, not a bruising or harsh one. Not what you’d expect from two people at a party who had just met. It was almost sinful how slow and deliberate Hongjoong placed her lips on hers, barely touching before pulling away slowly and lightly biting Seonghwa’s lower lip, letting it go right before it became uncomfortable and watching it bounce back into place.
Seonghwa whined. She wanted Hongjoong’s lips on her. She had just allowed her to kiss her, so why wasn’t she?
“God, you’re so beautiful”, Hongjoong whispered, dragging her nails over Seonghwa’s scalp before giving her hair the slightest yank, pulling another whine out of her. “So desperate. Tell me what you want, Seonghwa.”
Eat me alive, Seonghwa thought. Eat me and never spit me back out, keep me in between your lips forever.
But she didn’t say any of that, she couldn’t get any words out, the process of forming speech out of her thoughts completely impossible. She shouldn’t be this gone from one kiss and a few whispered words, but this was all a bit much. She didn’t come prepared, hadn’t expected this when she decided to go to this party. She would never have thought that she would still be here this late, with an incredibly sexy woman whispering in her ear as they swayed on the dance floor.
Hongjoong pulled on her hair again, a bit harder this time, to get Seonghwa out of her thoughts. “Tell me, baby.”
Seonghwa keened and leaned forward in an attempt to hide her face in the crook of Hongjoong’s neck. Hongjoong let her but kept her hand in Seonghwa’s hair. Seonghwa took a deep breath, smelling Hongjoong’s perfume and her sweat underneath, and turned her face to be able to whisper in her ear.
“Kiss me” were the only two words she got out. She heard Hongjoong’s chuckle and felt the hand in her hair pull her head upwards. And then Hongjoong was kissing her, light and more hot breath than anything else. First her cheek, then her jaw and the beginning of her neck, before traveling to her ear.
“No”, Seonghwa whined.
“No?”, Hongjoong asked and Seonghwa could hear the smirk in her voice, “What’s wrong, baby?”
“My mouth,” Seonghwa gasped, “Kiss me on my mouth.”
She felt Hongjoong smile into the kiss. First it was slow again, and then it wasn’t slow at all. Hot and searing, all teeth and tongue, as if Hongjoong had read her thoughts and was now planning to eat her alive.
While keeping her mouth on Seonghwa’s, Hongjoong slowly began leading them to the side of the room, off the dance floor. Slightly stumbling on their way but never letting go of each other they made their way to the corner behind the door.
Hongjoong’s mouth was back on hers, hungry and heated. She leaned back slightly, Seonghwa chasing her with her lips, not ready to let her go, but she kept her hand in Seonghwa’s hair holding her back. “This okay?”, she asked breathlessly, and it took Seonghwa a moment to realize she was asking about her hand on Seonghwa’s hip.
Seonghwa’s shirt had once again escaped her pants where Hongjoong was gripping her hips and had slipped her thumb underneath the shirt, gently stroking the bare skin of her stomach, but hesitant to creep up further.
Seonghwa nodded vigorously, leaning forwards again to try and get Hongjoong’s lips back on hers but Hongjoong dragged her back with the hand in her hair, the slight pain sending sparks down Seonghwa’s spine. “Words, baby”, Hongjoong said adamantly.
“Yes”, Seonghwa replied. She was getting kind of annoyed at the whole words thing, she didn’t think she had ever talked this much while making out with someone. But she got instantly rewarded as Hongjoong murmured “good girl” into her ear and let her hand slip underneath Seonghwa’s shirt to lay on the small of her back and slightly dig her fingers into her spine.
Seonghwa took in a sharp breath both at the words and the feeling of Hongjoong’s hand.
Instead of returning her lips to Seonghwa’s Hongjoong once again focused her attention on Seonghwa’s jaw. This time there was no ghosting breath and light kisses but harsh nibs and sucks, not enough to leave marks but enough to send light flashes of pain through Seonghwa that made her gasp and sparked waves of heat washing over her body.
Hongjoong’s mouth traveled down further onto her neck, towards the point where it met her shoulder and the collar of her shirt. She was still gripping Seonghwa’s hair, forcing her to bare her neck and let her kiss it all over, while Seonghwa was left panting. When she got to the slight opening, where the top button of Seonghwa’s blouse was undone and her collarbones were visible, Hongjoong faltered.
“Can I give you hickeys?”, she asked in a raspy voice. “Not big ones, you can cover them up, just…” Hongjoong was clearly trying to keep her composure and for the first time Seonghwa thought maybe Hongjoong was just as affected by this as she was.
Hongjoong leaned forwards, pressing an open mouthed, but soft kiss onto her right collarbone, before coming up slightly and looking directly into Seonghwa’s eyes. Her eyes were blown wide, the desire clear in them. “Let me mark you up, baby?”
And Seonghwa wanted the marks. She wanted to be able to look in the mirror tomorrow and know this had happened. She wanted to carry them around proudly and know she had gotten them from the most beautiful person she’d ever met. She wanted to remember that her first real encounter with a woman had been like this, passionate and hot, getting her speechless and trembling.
But the longer Hongjoong’s lips were off her mouth, the more she noticed where they were, remembered the amount of people around her. No one was looking at them; everyone was still in their own world. There were plenty of people making out in other parts of the room, but Seonghwa had always preferred privacy over places like this. The prospect of other people watching made her insecure rather than excited or daring.
Hongjoong noticed her faltering. “It’s okay. You’re okay, baby, we can just keep doing what we have been doing.”
“No, I want to. It’s just…”, she tried to articulate herself, what she wanted, but it was hard, she wasn’t quite done thinking yet, still barely able to keep a continuous sting of thoughts going.
“We don’t have to do anything, Seonghwa”, Hongjoong tried again. But it only made Seonghwa whine. Baby, she thought, call me baby again.
“No, I really want them”, she insisted, doing her best to collect her thoughts before continuing. “I want your marks. There are just so many people, but I don’t… I don’t want to leave without you.”
“Oh”, Hongjoong answered, seemingly noticing their surroundings for the first time in a while, “I live quite far away. I normally sleep here after the parties, or at a friend’s place, since I often stay until everyone leaves anywa-“
“I live close”, Seonghwa interrupted. She didn’t know why she was doing this; she had gone home with one or two guys in her life, but it had always been the guy asking, almost begging for her to go home with him. Never once had she invited a guy to her place on the night of meeting him.
But Hongjoong wasn’t a boy. She wasn’t scared of Hongjoong making fun of her fluffy pillows, or her pink gaming set up, or the display of Lego in her hallway, or the sun catchers on her window. She wasn’t scared of Hongjoong disrupting the carefully crafted order of her shoe rack. Her shoes would fit right in, Seonghwa already had made up the perfect place for them.
So Seonghwa ignored her beating heart and spoke up again. “You can come with me, if you want. But… I don’t know how far I’d be willing to go. I just don’t want the night to end.”
Hongjoong was shocked for a moment, then a big, genuine grin spread across her face. The most beautiful of her smiles yet. “Baby, I’d go home with you even if that meant we would just sit down on your kitchen floor and talk.”
So they went, Seonghwa grabbing her jacket and purse and made their way to the exit. Seonghwa thought about telling Wooyoung she had left but when she looked at her phone, she realized it was almost 2am and Wooyoung probably thought she had gone home hours ago.
The walk to her apartment was short, 10 minutes of slight tension and Hongjoong’s hand in hers. They barely talked but it wasn’t uncomfortable, they were just waiting to finally be alone.
When they stepped up the stairs to her apartment door and she got out her keys, for the first time in her life she felt truly thankful for her deep need for cleanliness and order. It was bothersome sometimes, to keep up with her mind’s demand, especially when she came home from a long day at university and her job and still had to cook dinner and really didn’t feel like cleaning her kitchen after. But right now, she was glad because even though this was entirely unexpected her apartment was still spotless when she opened the door.
They came in and Seonghwa immediately kneeled down to take of her own shoes and put them on the rack before doing the same with Hongjoong’s, placing them in an empty spot next to her own black boots, making sure they sat straight and even. When she got up and put her jacket away, she saw Hongjoong eying her with an odd look.
Seonghwa blushed. “Sorry, I’m just… a bit particular about how I’d like my home to be,” she quickly explained herself. “I don’t expect anyone else’s place to look like this, I just… have a hard time keeping my mind quiet about this sort of thing.”
“Does that bother you?”, Hongjoong asked.
“What?”, Seonghwa replied, startled by the question.
“Does it bother you that your mind is like that? Do you feel like turning it off sometimes?”
“I mean yeah, it gets stressful. I’ve tried meditating or simply forcing myself not to tidy up like this, but all it does is just stress me out. It’s not so simple to get myself to relax on my own.” Seonghwa didn’t feel like explaining more. She didn’t take Hongjoong home for a therapy session, she wanted Hongjoong’s lips back on hers, to help her forget at least some of her anxiety.
Thankfully Hongjoong dropped the conversation, and they made their way to the bedroom. It felt a bit suggestive to go to the bedroom, but Seonghwa’s apartment was small. The three doors lining the walls of the hallway leading to a kitchen, a bathroom and her bedroom.
The tension that had dampened when they entered the apartment now came back full force. Seonghwa felt like she could see the air crackling between her and Hongjoong but didn’t quite know how to proceed.
She couldn’t just say You know these hickeys you were talking about? Yeah, I’d really like those now, also mind calling me baby again? And maybe push me against the door or throw me on the bed? Just a suggestion you know, I really don’t wanna take control here.
“What are you thinking about, baby?”, Hongjoong asked and smirked at the caught look on Seonghwa’s face. Seonghwa wasn’t quite sure whether she wanted to slap her or kiss her senseless for asking like that. She was starting to get that constant flustered feeling back and both relished in the rush and hated how fidgety it made her. She wanted to melt.
“Kiss me again?”, she asked. She had asked for that before, so it didn’t feel quite as embarrassing as her other desires.
“Gladly” Hongjoong muttered and returned her hands to their previous positions, immediately sliding one under Seonghwa’s shirt and dragging her head down with the one in her hair.
There was none of the slow built up that was there before and Seonghwa was glad for it, she didn’t think she could take any more slow kisses. They stood like that for a while. Gasping and kissing, Hongjoong pulling her hair every now and then, clearly having caught on to Seonghwa’s reactions to it.
“Bed,” Seonghwa managed to gasp out between kisses. Hongjoong groaned slightly and dug her hand into Seonghwa’s hip with surprising strength and started manhandling her towards the bed. Seonghwa tumbled backwards slightly and lightly fell on the bed, landing on her back and dragging Hongjoong with her, who landed right on top of her with her legs on either side of Seonghwa’s thighs.
“You’re getting demanding, aren’t you, baby?”, Hongjoong asked with a small tsk, “How about these marks now?”
“Yes”, Seonghwa replied and quickly added, “please”.
“Good, so polite”, Hongjoong said and made her way to her neck. Seonghwa preened at the comment, her insides heating up pleasantly. Good.
Hongjoong made her way down her neck, slightly nibbling, sucking and licking her skin but not leaving any marks. Seonghwa was this close to whining again, disregarding the politeness that had gotten her praise and actually start demanding. She wasn’t sure what was worse, not getting the promised marks or not hearing Hongjoong murmur that sweet word again.
But then she felt a sharp sting in her collarbone that left her completely breathless. Hongjoong had bitten her, not enough to draw blood, not enough to do much at all but send a delicious flash of pain through her body, completely heating up her insides. Before Seonghwa could recover, Hongjoong moved on to an ever so slightly higher spot and started sucking. Seonghwa moaned and then slapped her hand on her mouth to cover up the sound.
With her mouth still on Seonghwa’s skin Hongjoong moved the arm that was on Seonghwa’s hip before grabbing Seonghwa’s hand and dragging it down. “Keep your hands below your shoulders. Let me hear you. If you can’t keep them there yourself, I’ll have to let go of your hair to keep them down. Understood?”
“Yes”, Seonghwa replied shakily. The thought of Hongjoong holding her down was… doing things to her. But she didn’t want to lose the harsh grip Hongjoong still had on her hair, keeping her body at a delicious tension. She was felling hot everywhere, her pussy pulsating.
“Good” Hongjoong murmured and Seonghwa keened at the praise, trying not to hold back the sound even if she felt awkward about it. It was worth it though, as Hongjoong got back to her task and continued biting and sucking at her skin, occasionally going back to lick over the existing marks.
Somewhere over the course of the last few minutes Hongjoong had moved one of her legs in between Seonghwa’s. And was now lightly pushing it upwards.
She looked into Seonghwa’s eyes. “Okay?” she asked.
Seonghwa felt completely gone by this point, she needed friction, needed something, needed Hongjoong to keep biting her.
“Yes, please”, she whined and immediately felt the pressure of Hongjoong’s knee against her crotch, who, at the same time as bringing up her knee, bit her skin opposite from where she’d made the first bite.
Seonghwa moaned and threw her head back, leading to Hongjoong tightening the grip on her hair which sent goose bumps all over her body, an orgasm hitting her out of nowhere as Hongjoong continued to grind her knee against her crotch.
She gulped in air as Hongjoong looked up from where she was still sucking on Seonghwa’s skin, smirking at the state of the woman underneath her and slowly removing the pressure of her knee. “Feeling good, beautiful?”, she asked.
Seonghwa could only nod, Hongjoong was not getting a verbal answer out of her right now. She was still in shock at what just happened, catching her breath.
Hongjoong chuckled and started moving up Seonghwa’s body to give her a soft kiss.
“You wanna chill for a bit? We could cuddle if you want?”, she asked.
“But…” Seonghwa started objecting, “but you didn’t… I didn’t do anything… I swear I don’t mind doing something for you, you’d just need to tell m-“
She was silenced by a kiss. “Shh”, Hongjoong whispered, “I’m really fine, baby. I don’t need anything else from you, you were perfect.”
Perfect, Seonghwa thought. She didn’t agree, not really, but the way Hongjoong said it still sent waves of emotion through her body. She felt exhausted, both emotionally and physically, cuddling sounded so good right now, and if Hongjoong didn’t want anything more, Seonghwa also didn’t want to force herself onto her.
They laid down for a bit, Seonghwa on her back with Hongjoong draped on top of her. She was close to dozing off, feeling sated and warm and comfortable, before a phone started to buzz.
“Ah fuck, sorry”, Hongjoong said and took out her phone to check the caller. “I need to take that, I’m sorry”, she said and sent Seonghwa an apologetic look before sitting up slightly and holding her phone to her ear. “Yes, hi… what?… ah shit… no I’m not far just”, and she shot Seonghwa another look, “outside with a friend… yes, I‘ll be right there. Don’t call the cops…bye.”
She stopped the call and dropped her phone on the bed before letting out a deep sigh and looked at Seonghwa: “Someone broke a window at the queer club, i’ll have to go deal with it, I’m so sorry.”
Seonghwa nodded in understanding. “It’s fine”, she said.
“It’s not fine. I don’t”, Hongjoong sighed again, “I don’t like leaving so soon after having sex with someone.”
“I mean we didn’t really…”, Seonghwa started but was quickly shut up with a glare from Hongjoong. “I don’t care whether our clothes stayed on or not, Seonghwa. It counts when you feel like it does. And besides I feel like some straight people have ‘Sex’ much less emotional than what we just did.”
That shut Seonghwa up for real, she never thought about it like that, to her sex had always been the act itself rather than the feelings during it. But she figured she had never quite felt like this having sex before, never felt this particular type of pleasure, so really it couldn’t be just about genitals.
Hongjoong sighed again and started getting up from the bed. It took all of Seonghwa’s will power not to whine at the loss of warmth.
She managed to drag herself up with Hongjoong even though the other assured her she didn’t have to, she could never let a guest leave without seeing them off at the door, and really, she just didn’t want to be away from Hongjoong yet.
She bowed down again to get Hongjoong’s shoes and put them out for her to slip into and then they stood.
“Give me your phone”, Hongjoong said and Seonghwa didn’t even think about it before pulling it out of her back pocket and handing it to Hongjoong, who took it and then immediately gave it back. “You need to open it first, open the contacts while you’re at it.”
Seonghwa followed the instructions and then gave it back, Hongjoong chuckled a bit and then focused on her phone, typing something before giving it back. “Here. Text me, okay? I want you to. Do it sooner rather than later, I don’t want you to get too in your head about it.”
Seonghwa nodded.
“I really have to go now, or they’ll freak out”, said Hongjoong, but hesitated. After another short moment, she reached up one hand to drag Seonghwa down a bit and kiss her. It was short and sweet, not at all like the heated kisses they had shared before, but perfect nonetheless.
“Text me!”, she said again as she left.
Seonghwa slowly closed the door behind her and looked down at her phone where a new contact had been created, staring back at her: Joong <3 (TEXT ME!!!)
She smiled and turned towards the bathroom.
She really needed to wash her shirt.