Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tim had to physically pick himself off the ground, disoriented and not sure where he was at first. Something about a college student film? Or… no... that wasn’t exactly right was it? He looked around for a second before everything came slowly flooding back to him. He was at Alex’s old place and just had a stare down with that thing because of…

Jay.

Tim remembered now. Jay had been seizing on the ground and the only thing running through his mind was ways to get The Operator’s focus off of him any way he could. That just meant throwing himself in the way of it, which seems to have surprisingly worked, at least for now.

As soon as Tim had all his bearings, he whipped his head around to see Jay laying on the ground, completely still now. Tim stumbled over to Jay, all but collapsing to his knees next to him. Jay was on his back, his head lolled to the side which prevented Tim from seeing his face.

“Jay, get up, we have to go,” Tim said, trying to stay calm, shaking him lightly by the shoulders. He only became more frantic when Jay didn’t move.

Tim placed a hand on Jay’s jaw, tilting his head to face him. His eyes were closed and his face was slack, his lips slightly parted. His skin was pale, concerningly so, not like how Tim was used to seeing it. Placing his other hand on the other side of Jay’s face, he shook it slightly, trying to get any reaction out of him.

“Jay! Come on, wake up!” Nothing. Jay’s head continued to rest heavily, lifelessly,in Tim’s hands.

Setting Jay’s head down gently, Tim could feel his own heart pounding in his ears as he placed a shaking hand to Jay’s neck for a pulse. He felt his heart plummet in his chest when he felt nothing, not even the ghost of a heartbeat.

“No... No, no, no, no, no, Jay don’t do this to me,” he muttered to himself, failing to keep his panic under control.

Almost hesitantly, Tim stacked his hands together and began pressing them into Jay’s chest, keeping count silently as he did so. He then tilted Jay’s head and plugged his nose before covering his mouth with his own, breathing every bit of air he could into him. He didn’t care how lightheaded it made him, he barely even noticed it at all. All he was focused on was trying to save Jay.

Tim did this once more before he slid his hands back down to Jay’s chest, returning to compressions. “Come on Jay. Don’t leave me, come on. You need to open your eyes,” Tim said, fighting against the lump in his throat. He felt his eyes start to tear up before he desperately blinked them away.

Frantically, Tim moved back to Jay’s head, plugging his nose and pressing his lips to his again. Everything was blurring together, and Tim was barely keeping his dread under control.

Moving his hands back to Jay’s chest, he pressed the heels of his hands down, again, and again, and again, as hard as he could. “Jay please. Please wake up, stay with me... Please, you have to get up…” Tim’s voice cracked as he begged, a few tears slipping from his eyes despite how hard he tried to keep them at bay.

He moved back up to Jay’s head, unable to hold back tears now. He pressed his mouth to Jay’s again, some of Tim’s tears landing on Jay’s cheeks. And yet he still didn’t move.

One more time, Tim started compressions again, not able to keep count because of how much his mind was racing. He wasn’t even sure if he was able to press hard enough anymore from how shaky he was.

“Please wake up, Jay. Don’t do this to me, don’t leave me, please. I can’t be alone again,” Tim pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.

Just as he was about to give up, he heard Jay stutter out a breath. Tim froze, moving to cup Jay’s face in his hands.

“Jay?” He couldn’t allow himself to get hopeful. Not when he could’ve imagined it.

Jay inhaled again, weakly opening his eyes. Tim sobbed at the sight, thanking whatever may or may not be out there that he was alive.

“Tim?” Jay asked, his voice quiet and faint, but right now, it was the best sound Tim had ever heard.

“You’re alive… Thank God you’re alive.”

Tim helped Jay into a sitting position, supporting his back. Jay was visibly completely out of it, but that did nothing to take away from the immense relief Tim felt. Carefully—almost as if he would break—Tim pulled Jay close to him and wrapped his arms around him, cradling the back of Jay’s head with his hand. Tim buried his head in Jay’s shoulder as Jay wrapped his own arms around Tim.

“Tim? What happened?”

“We’re outside Alex’s old house. That thing showed up and you had a seizure and you almost... I almost lost you…” Tim said, trying to ignore the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes again as he held Jay tighter.

“Oh…” Jay said, as if he wasn’t sure how to respond.

They sat in silence for a while, holding each other on the ground as Tim tried not to fall apart again. If he thought about it too much, he could almost still see Jay laying unmoving, lifeless, on the ground. Jay was the only person he had left; he couldn’t lose him.

“Thank you then. For saving me.”

Tim just held Jay closer as a response. Eventually, they got up from the ground, supporting each other as they did so, though Jay did pick up his camera. Tim brushed his the back of his hand against the back of Jay’s in a silent question. Mercifully, Jay accepted and laced their fingers together. Tim let go of Jay once and he was not doing it again. Not while they were still at this place. He needed the physical reassurance that Jay was still there, that he wasn’t leaving.

They made their way over to the car, taking it slow because Jay was unsteady on his feet and Tim didn’t want to rush him. They released each others hands to get into the car—Tim, of course, choosing to sit in the drivers seat—though as soon as they were settled inside, Jay reached his hand over to Tim in offering.

Despite everything that had just happened, Tim’s heart fluttered in his chest at the offering of contact. He was glad that his need for physical touch was mutual, or at least well accepted. Tim grabbed Jay’s hand, perhaps a bit tighter than necessary, and didn’t let go until they reached a motel far enough away that they didn’t feel like they were being watched. If they “accidentally” booked a room that only had one bed, that was just a consequence they’d have to deal with together.