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It’s a stupid fight, and Lucy knows in the heat of the moment they both have said stuff they didn’t mean.
It has happened more than once but somehow they always fall back into each other’s arms. Somehow it all works out in the end and they talk it out just like Tim promised they always would.
Lucy knows sometimes that fights get to the boiling point and they both explode. And she is standing in the hallway staring at Tim. She has tears in her eyes, but they aren’t sad but out of frustration.
It has been a rough few weeks for both of them. Tim working later than normal. Lucy having hard days at work and with the kids. And the fact that they never see each other. She was sure it was going to get to the point where the dam broke. Where her frustrations would come out.
“You still don’t get it do you?” She asks her voice shaky. “You just don’t get it. You don’t always have to be the hero Tim.”
Tim shifts on his feet, and she can see that he’s in pain. His legs are hurting him, his whole body is hurting him. She can see it in his face—it’s etched in pain. But he’s holding on because he wants to seem strong, he wants to do everything even if it means he’s in pain. She just wants him to take care of himself.
And she’s tired of it.
“I’m fine Luce.” He says and he waves her off a little. “A minor accident.” Lucy gapes at him, and then she steps forward making a noise of frustration.
“You almost fell off a building.” She says. “And then you fell through a roof. That’s not a minor accident Tim.”
“It’s also not a big deal.” Tim says. He glances towards the kids rooms and they really should be doing this somewhere else but he could hardly get up the stairs and Lucy wasn’t going to push him towards the room. And as far as she knew, the kids were downstairs doing their homework.
“It is.” She says. “You are always being the hero. You always putting yourself in danger like on the roof of an almost collapsed building.”
Tim winces as he shuffles forward, he was cleared but Lucy’s not so sure he should have been. “What was I suppose to do? Not go in?” He asks. “I needed to get in somehow.” Lucy takes a deep breath and blows out.
“Not to sound selfish but you do have a wife and four kids who love you and need you.” Lucy says. “And putting yourself in danger—”
“You do it too!” Tim says and he shuffles forward some more. “Everyday Lucy! You face murders, bad guys. You put your life on the line. We need you too. I need you.”
“Do you?” She snaps. And it just comes out, she doesn’t mean it because she knows how Tim feels about her. But she’s so frustrated, she thought he stopped punishing himself years ago. “Because lately it doesn’t seem like it.” She regrets it as soon as it comes out of her mouth.
Tim freezes and stares at her. “What are you talking about Luce?” He asks. She hears the pain in his voice and she wants to take it away.
“I just—” She pauses and she hears a noise behind Tim. “Maybe we should take a break. Maybe we should….”
“Don’t.” Tim says and he looks panicked. “Lucy, please.” He knows where this headed and she says the words before she can stop them. She doesn’t mean it, she hates herself for even thinking it. But once she gets in a spiral she can’t stop.
“Maybe we should get a divorce.” She says. It’s not the first time she has said it. She said it when she was pregnant with Ava, but she was full of pregnancy hormones. This time was just out of frustration and weariness. She sees Tim deflate and then someone small pushes past him. She zooms by Lucy before she can even think. And then a door is shutting. Tim stares at Lucy, and then limps over and knocks on the door. Of course their child with anxiety and such a tender heart that it worried Lucy sometimes would hear. She is only 7, and she is nervous when she is around strangers. Lucy couldn’t even imagine what she was feeling right now.
“Junebug.” Tim says knocking on the door. Lucy is frozen. “Baby, it’s okay.” He turns to look at Lucy a steely look in his eyes.
“Junie.” Lucy says coming up next to Tim. “Sweetie, I’m sorry. C-can we talk to you?” There’s no answer but there’s a thump against the door. Lucy turns to look at Tim who is avoiding looking at her. His focus is on the door, and she feels her heart breaking.
“Tim.” She whispers. But he shakes his head, tapping on the door.
“June I’m coming in.” He says. Lucy hears something move and then Tim is reaching for the door handle. He opens it up and disappears inside. Lucy looks in and sees him get on the floor with June. He pulls her into his arms, and she knows despite everything. Despite how hard things have been recently.
Tim is good.
He’s one of the good ones.
His love and support never wavers. And there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her and their kids. Lucy steps into the room and joins them on the floor.
“June.” She says softly. “I’m sorry you heard that.” June looks up, her brown eyes full of tears.
“I don’t want you and daddy to get a divorce.” She says. Lucy shakes her head and looks at Tim whose eyes are on June.
“We aren’t getting a divorce baby.” Lucy says. “Daddy and I will work it out. You don’t have to worry about that okay?”
“You love each other.” June says. Lucy feels Tim’s eyes on her. It’s true, she does love Tim. And she’s grateful their kids can see that. She’s grateful that they have been able to show their kids what love is.
“We do.” Lucy agrees. “We just get frustrated sometimes. Like you get frustrated with Levi or your sisters. Daddy and I have had a rough few weeks.”
“I’m sorry.” June says dipping her head down.
“No baby.” Tim says. “It’s not your fault okay? Y-your mom is right. It’s been a rough few weeks. We will work it out.” Lucy looks up and he gives her a soft nod.
“Promise?” June asks in her small voice that she got when she had a panic attack.
“Promise Junebug.” Tim says. “Don’t worry. Take a deep breath.” She does and then lets it out.
“I love you daddy.” June says. “And mommy.” Lucy leans forward to give her a kiss and then stands up. She helps Tim up, and pushes him gently out of the room. Ava, Daisy and Levi are all standing outside it.
“What did I say about you two fighting?” Ava asks furrowing her eyebrows. “You are suppose to work it out!” Lucy rolls her eyes and ruffles Levi’s hair and then gives her daughter a long look.
“Believe it or not Aves we are human too. We make mistakes and we fight.” Lucy says. “But we won’t give up so easily.”
“No we won’t.” Tim says. Lucy turns to face him and gives him a smile. It’s still a little stiff. But they would work it out. It wouldn’t be like last time.
“Okay.” Ava says. She gives them both a look and then slips inside the twins room. Daisy and Levi follow after her. Lucy sighs and steps closer to Tim.
“She’s tough.” She says.
“She’s your daughter.” He mutters.
“Our daughter.” Lucy says. “We did that together.” Tim cracks a smile.
“And two more times.” He says. “We ended up with twins.” Lucy laughs and looks towards the door. She holds out her hand, and Tim takes it. She pulls him towards their bedroom and leads him towards the bed. She sits him down and then gets in between his legs.
“I’m sorry.” She says. “I don’t—I didn’t mean it.”
“I know it’s been tough.” Tim says reaching out to put his hands on her hips. “But that’s why we promised to always talk.”
“I know.” She says. Tim’s hands travel down her back. “I—should take my own advice huh?”
“Like you said baby. We are all human and make mistakes. We didn’t talk. I made a reckless decision. You are right it would affect all of you.” He says softly and then he continues. “But us taking a break would also affect everyone. Especially the kids.” Lucy nods and she bends down so she can kiss him.
“I agree.” She says. “I’m really sorry baby. I don’t want a—you are stuck with me.”
“Thank god.” Tim says. “You are the only person I want to be stuck with. You and our kids.”
“Of course.” Lucy says. “Do you think they will be okay?”
“They are tough.” Tim says. “And we do fight sometimes. It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. They know that.”
“True.” Lucy says. “I feel bad June heard. I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t Lucy.” Tim says gently. “June will be okay. She has her siblings to help her through this. And we will be there too. Ava is good at comforting.”
“Yeah.” Lucy says. She still feels guilty though, not just because June heard but because of Tim. “I love you.” She says. “And I’m sorry.” Tim’s face softens and he pulls her in for a hug.
“I love you too.” He says. “We will get through this okay?”
“Together.” She says and Tim nods a smile spreading across his face.
“Together.”