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Remus’ day started off bad when he woke up, swung his feet out of bed, and sat there frozen as his half-awake brain tried to figure out why his socks were suddenly wet. 

Things then got worse as he investigated the source and found a burst pipe beneath his bathroom sink, managing to skin his knuckles as he hastily tried to turn the water off at the valve, sitting there for a moment dripping wet before he’d scrambled to grab his mop, hurrying to soak up as much of the water as he could before it could sink into his floorboards any further. Once his floors were sufficiently dry he’d dialed his landlord, tucking the phone between his shoulder and ear, pressing one hand over his mouth as he eyed the soggy bottom of his sofa, hoping that none of it leaked through to the flat below him. 

Things continued to go badly when his landlord then revealed that he was out of town, off to Antigua to soak up the sun while his tenants languished in their shoddy flats that he grossly overcharges them for, letting Remus know that he would have to pay for the plumber himself and that the total will be deducted from next month's rent payment, but only if he provides receipts. 

He’d reluctantly agreed and called the plumber his landlord recommended, listening in mute shock as the receptionist explained how much it would be to simply have someone come out and take a look at the damage—plus whatever the parts will cost and an hourly rate, as well as a bunch additional fees that made his head spin—at which point he’d politely refused and ended the call, jumping on the internet to find a cheaper plumber.

It took a bit of poking around, apparently he should have attended a vocational school instead of seeking a degree in English, he certainly would be making much more money than he does at his part-time library job, eventually finding a website that seemed a bit shady but had decent reviews, so he decided to give them a shot. The woman that answered the phone seemed a bit confused, or perhaps incredibly stoned, leading to a very bizarre conversation.

“You want a what?” 

“A plumber,” he’d said again for the fifth time, down on his hands and knees as he aimed a borrowed hairdryer at the bottom of his sofa, hoping to get some of the moisture out before it could start to mildew. “I need someone to fix my leak, and potentially clean out my pipes depending on how much it will be. There’s a truly alarming amount of hair in there.”

“Huh… Well, okay. I think for what you want the going rate would be one hundred pounds per hour.”

He’d winced a little, sitting up on his knees and scrubbing a hand over his face, wondering if he could just go without water in his bathroom until his landlord returned from his holiday. “Alright, what about the rest of the fees?”

“There are generally no other fees, just a flat rate, though that’s really up to the discretion of each individual, but all costs will be discussed before any of the fun stuff happens. Oh, and a tip is highly appreciated if you’re pleased with the quality of your service.”

He’d hummed, thinking about it before eventually agreeing, jolting a little in surprise when she had let him know that someone would be there within the hour. He’d stammered out his thanks as he’d looked down at himself, a pair of old holey pants, water soaked socks, and his threadbare dressing gown, before he’d ended the call and hurried to get dressed in something more acceptable.

Which brings him to now, fiddling nervously with the sleeve of his jumper as he watches the kettle come to a boil, stealing little glances around his flat. It’s not like he needs to impress the service person that he’s hired, but he’s a little self-conscious regardless, his second-hand furniture worn to the point where it’s falling apart and the air smelling damp despite the fact that he’d wrenched one of the windows open and lit a candle. 

The kettle clicks right as there’s a knock on the door, startling him so badly that he knocks his head against the cupboard, tripping over his feet in his haste to answer it. He’s panting a little as he finally undoes the locks, his knee and palms stinging from where he’d caught himself on the floor, pulling the door open to reveal the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life. 

He’s just… unfairly pretty, with long black hair that hangs loose over his shoulders and striking silver eyes, his stubbled cheek dimpling when his lips part in a wide grin, revealing perfectly straight white teeth. He’s wearing a skin tight t-shirt that shows off the definition in his chest and baggy, thick khaki colored trousers that are held up with braces, and a tool belt around his hips, his smile widening as his eyes trace a slow path down to his socked feet and up again.

“Hi, are you Remus?” he asks, his voice low and sort of gritty, Remus shivering as he wobbles his head in a nod. “I’m Sirius. Your plumber.” 

“Oh,” he says, blinking stupidly, wondering if his plumber moonlights as a male model or something, because surely tradesmen aren’t supposed to be this attractive. “Um, right, of course. Well, please come in, thank you so much for coming so quickly.”

“Don’t worry, generally it takes me quite a long time to come,” Sirius says with a wink as he swaggers past him into his flat, Remus gaping after him until he realizes that he’s just standing in the doorway, hastily pushing it closed. “Well, where do you want me?”

“Um, the bathroom, I suppose, though I did just heat the kettle if you’re interested in a cuppa.”

“It’s your money, mate.” Sirius shrugs, thumbs hooked in the toolbelt as he smirks at him, following along after Remus when he awkwardly flails about for a moment before heading into the kitchen. “I like your flat. Lots of books. You seem like a very well read man.”

Remus hums, wondering if he’s being teased because there’s nothing nice about his flat, pouring steaming water into two cups as he nudges the box of tea bags towards Sirius, who gleefully starts rifling through them. “Yes, well, it’s very lucky that my bookshelves are raised along the bottom, so they missed out on the impromptu bath that the rest of my belongings received this morning.”

Sirius gives him a strange look, tossing a bag of breakfast tea into his cup before he starts dumping sugar in by the spoonful. “So, Remus. Tell me about yourself. Surely a handsome bloke like yourself can’t live here alone. Is the missus going to throw a fit if she comes home and discovers me here?”

“Ah, no missus, and no mister either,” he says, cheeks flaming hot at being called handsome even if it’s not true, looking down at his cup as he dunks his bag of earl grey. “Although if I did have a partner I can’t imagine that they’d mind that I got some help with the plumbing.”

Sirius’ brows twitch, mouth pursing before it spreads into a wide smile again, giving him another wink as he raises the cup to his lips. “Well, I am rather good at laying pipe.”

Remus just nods, supposing that he must be if he’s in such high demand, because the receptionist had told him that Sirius was highly sought after and just happened to have a cancellation this afternoon, nervously humming as he sips his tea, watching as the other man takes a few drinks before setting the cup aside. “Shall I show you to the bathroom?”

“If that’s where you want to do this,” Sirius purrs, which seems odd but maybe some clients allow him to disassemble the sink and work on it elsewhere in their homes, which Remus makes a mental note to offer if it seems like the bathroom will be too small of a space. 

Sirius trails along right on his heels as he leads him into the bathroom, breath ghosting over the back of his neck, which makes him shiver as goosebumps spread across his shoulders. He has to step into the tub to allow Sirius into the bathroom as well, it’s quite a small space, Sirius pulling a face as his boots squelch atop the rug that he forgot to throw in with the wash.

“The broken bit is just under there,” he says, motioning towards the vanity, and Sirius blinks a few times before he bites down on a very alluring smile. 

“I’ll get right on that, sir,” Sirius murmurs, batting his eyelashes before he shrugs his braces off his shoulders, gripping the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it overhead, revealing a frankly unrealistic number of stomach muscles. Remus just gapes at him as he reaches into the toolbelt, kneels down on the floor, and sticks his head beneath the sink.

Sirius’ back is just as enticing as the front, muscles shifting beneath his pale skin that’s littered with tattoos as he pokes around under there, his low slung trousers shifting even lower to reveal the top of his arse crack, at which point he finally manages to yank his attention away, Remus’ lungs burning as he gasps in a breath. 

“Are you aware that it’s all wet down here?”

“Mhm, yes, that’s why I called you. Because of the leak.”

“Oh!” Sirius pulls his head back out from beneath the sink, giving him a grin that makes his skin burn hot and yet another wink, pushing him to believe that he possibly has a tic or something in his eye that he’s trying to subtly clear away. “One of those, I’ve got you. Well, sir, let me fix this leak for you.”

Sirius pulls a screwdriver from his toolbelt, which seems like an odd choice to Remus but he’s not the professional here, his pants slipping down even further as he pokes around to show off his incredibly round arse. Remus can feel his face steadily growing warmer, surely he’s flushed bright pink at this point, and he thinks about making a hasty retreat out into his flat until he realizes that Sirius is blocking the door.

Rather than disturbing him from his work he watches as he tinkers around beneath the vanity, keeping his eyes respectfully above his waist as often as he can, running a hand through his hair as Sirius hammers at something with the screwdriver. Only a few minutes have passed when he sits back on his heels, wiping an arm across his dry brow as he tucks the tool into his belt bag, licking his lower lip as he smiles.

“There you are, Remus. Would you like me to take a look at your plumbing now?”

“That was rather fast,” he says, stumbling backwards as Sirius suddenly rises and steps towards the tub that he’s hovering in, wincing as he smacks his head against the tiles. “But, um, sure. Is the um- Do you need to look at the shower as well?”

“Well, that depends on how messy you plan on this getting,” Sirius says as he steps into the tub, pinning him against the wall with his hips as he braces his arms over his head, lips nearly brushing against his as he leans down over him. “The note said that you had a bit of a clog you needed taken care of.”

“Well, there’s quite a bit of hair-”

“I don’t mind that sort of thing,” Sirius murmurs, right before he kisses him, at which point Remus’ brain goes offline entirely. 

Remus stands there, startled and ridiculously aroused, allowing Sirius to pry his lips open with his tongue, moaning a little as he licks inside his mouth. He thinks about asking what, precisely, is happening here, but then Sirius slots a thigh between his legs, pressing up against where he’s already embarrassingly hard, at which point his last scrap of rational thought flees his head, craning up on his toes to kiss him back. 

He manages to pull himself away from Sirius’ intoxicating lips after several minutes, panting heavily as Sirius’ hand on his lower back pulls him down into each sloppy thrust against his thigh, shuddering a little as he meets his eye. “Should we, um- Bedroom? Or sofa, even? Sorry, the soap dish is digging into my spine and it’s rather uncomfortable, but we can stay here if-”

“The bedroom would be good,” Sirius says, claiming his mouth in another searing kiss before he steps away, catching him by the elbow when his knees immediately buckle. 

Sirius leads him into his bedroom, which isn’t all that hard to find considering that there’s only three doors in his flat, taking his face between his hands as he kisses him again. Remus barely notices as his jumper is pulled overhead, but he does notice when Sirius’ hands stroke over his chest and down his stomach, fingertips tucking beneath the waistband of his pants and curling through his pubic hair before popping the button on his trousers, the zipper impossibly loud as he drags it down.

Remus generally doesn’t do this sort of thing, has never gone home with someone from the pub and has turned down his friends’ countless offers to set him up on one of those app things that they say are for dating but everyone just uses them to find a casual shag, so he has no idea if any of this is normal. He does think that things are moving a bit fast as Sirius tugs his trousers and pants down as one, but then his hand is curling around his cock, stroking from root to tip in a way that has his head spinning, the thought melting away before it can truly form. 

“What are your preferences?” Sirius murmurs against his mouth, taking his lower lip between his teeth and biting down softly before he soothes the slight sting with his tongue, hands slipping down beneath his jaw as he tilts his head up, kissing him so deeply that he gets briefly self-conscious that he forgot to use mouthwash after brushing his teeth this morning. “What do you want to do, love?”

“Oh, I um- Well, I’d rather not bottom right now if that’s alright with you,” he says, thinking about the large dinner he ate last night and the fact that he didn’t do a bit of prep work, considering that he wasn’t expecting this at all, hoping that won’t be a dealbreaker for the gorgeous man that’s currently nibbling at his ear. “But I’m up for anything else, even um, hands or mouths or what have you.”

“I want you to fuck me.” Sirius uses his other hand to shove his own trousers down, revealing that he was only wearing a pair of sinfully tight black jock-strap underneath, hooking his thumb through the waistband and letting it snap against his skin. “Do you want this on or off?”

“Um, off please,” he stammers, barely able to breathe and severely regretting his decision to top when Sirius shoves them down to reveal an absolutely gorgeous cock, long and thick with a curve that he just knows would feel incredible inside him, feeling drool pool inside his mouth as Sirius steps forward and kisses him again, Remus moaning when he wraps a hand around him again.

“Condoms are standard, but I’m willing to fuck bare for an additional fifty pounds plus proof of a clean bill of health from within the last week,” Sirius says, moaning as Remus reaches out to touch him too, dragging his palm over the head of his cock before the words finally filter into his overheated brain and he freezes. 

“You- what?” he asks, ripping away from Sirius and blinking up at him, his chest heaving in an entirely different way than it was a moment before, looking down at the tool belt that has spilled over; revealing the screwdriver, a single wrench, a flashlight, an entire strip of condoms, and several tubes of lube amongst a few other odds and ends that have nothing to do with repair work. “You- You’re not a plumber are you?”

“I can be whatever you want me to be,” Sirius says with a sultry smirk, stepping closer to him again until Remus lets out a garbled noise of alarm and trips backwards, trousers still around his ankles, landing on his bed in a disgraceful heap. “Are you alright?”

“No, I’m not! What the fuck is happening?” he gasps, becoming very aware of the fact that he’s completely nude, dragging his pillow over to hide his wilting erection. “Who are you? Why the bloody hell are you here if not to fix my sink?”

Sirius blinks a few times, looking taken aback, glancing down at the toolbelt before he raises his gaze again. “I, uh- I’m a companion for hire. You know, uh, like an escort? Sex worker? Prostitute, technically speaking, but the laws regarding it are in a bit of a murky grey area so we don’t exactly advertise it like that. I’m sorry, did you think that I was an actual plumber?”

“Yes, because I thought that I hired an actual plumber,” Remus wheezes out, chest aching, and it isn’t until he looks up and notices how concerned Sirius looks that he realizes that he’s having an asthma attack, probably from all the excitement from earlier and then stress that that he’s experienced in the last few minutes. Which is pretty much the last thing that he wants to happen right now, but it is, so he shamefully leans forward to snag the strap of his bag which is tucked down beside his bedside table. “Fucking hell, just one moment please.”

Sirius watches with round, startled eyes as he digs around for his inhaler before giving up entirely, dumping the bag out by his side. His inhaler bounces to the ground and he hunches over to grab it, the pillow slipping from his lap to allow his limp cock to stare him in the face, trembling fingers stretching to reach until Sirius steps forward and scoops it up for him.

“Here, I’ve got it” he says, shaking it vigorously, pulling the cap off before he leans down and loops an arm around Remus’ shoulders, holding the mouthpiece up against his lips. Remus sighs, or tries to at least, fitting his lips around it and dutifully inhaling when he gives him a puff, trying to hold it in his lungs but coughing it out almost immediately, and he knows that it won’t be enough.

“One more,” Remus rasps, little black spots dancing at the edges of his vision, breathing in the medication and managing to hold it in his lungs for a handful of seconds, letting it out as slowly as he can when Sirius pulls the inhaler away from his mouth. He jolts a little when Sirius’ hand slips down to his back, rubbing soothing circles between his shoulder blades, forcing himself to relax again as he waits for the medicine to take effect. 

“You’re alright,” Sirius says quietly, pushing his hair back from his face, inhaler still held at the ready. “It’s okay, just breathe, everything’s fine.”

“Not quite, but I appreciate the sentiment,” he mumbles, Sirius laughing quietly above him, leaning into his touch before he can even think about it when he starts scratching at his scalp. “I’m sorry, just to clarify, you are not a plumber?”

“I don’t know shit about plumbing,” Sirius says, kneeling down in front of him to look him in the eye, seeming far less ashamed of his own nakedness than Remus is. Then again, if he looked like that, Remus probably wouldn’t bother with clothes at all. “Suffice to say your sink is probably still broken, all I did under there was fuck around with the screwdriver, but I thought that was just part of the roleplay thing. Are you alright? Do you need another dose?”

Remus pauses for a moment to take stock, his lungs still feel tight but that’s probably from the sheer mortification that he’s drowning beneath more than the asthma, Sirius recapping his inhaler when he shakes his head. He watches as Sirius places it in the pile of things from his bag at his side—his lactose pills front and center, as is the latest self-help book his mam has sent him about becoming more confident, and despite the fact that it was made with pre-pubescent girls in mind some of the tips have been quite helpful—wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

Remus is… beyond embarrassed really, he’s absolutely mortified, thinking back over the morning and picking up on all the signs that he totally missed. He was so distracted by a pretty man paying attention to him that he brushed off all the things that he now realizes were heavy handed innuendo. Fuck, he’s a complete and utter idiot. 

“Guess that’s why you were flirting with me then,” he mutters bitterly, reaching up to scrub at his burning eyes before wrapping his arms around his knees. “There’s money in my wallet, just take whatever you’re owed and leave, please.”

Sirius is quiet for a long moment before Remus feels fingers brush against the underside of his chin, squeezing his eyes closed as his head is gently guided up, and he gnaws on the inside of his cheek before he reluctantly opens his eyes. 

“What?” Sirius’ brow is furrowed, eyes flicking between his, mouth curling into an unhappy pout as he trails his fingers up over his cheekbone. “I’ll leave if you really want me to, but what did you mean? About the flirting thing?”

“I mean that obviously you were only flirting with me because you were being paid to find me attractive.”

“Remus, no, not at all.” Sirius huffs out a breath as a smile crosses his face, lopsided and so unbelievably handsome, and it occurs to him that this must be his real smile instead of the picture perfect grins he was giving him earlier. “Flirting is not at all in the job description. Usually I just show up and ask how they want to fuck. You, however, are so adorable that I couldn’t help but to flirt a little. If we had fun today I was even planning on sneaking you my number before I left. I was willing to deal with the plumber kink if you ended up being as sweet as you look.”

“I-” Remus gapes at him, eyes dropping down to Sirius’ ridiculous chest and his bulging stomach muscles and his obscenely broad thighs, his cock that’s somehow still hard between his legs, though he imagines that probably has more to do with his career than anything else. It surely can’t still be hard because of him. “You’re taking the piss.”

“I’m not.” Sirius laughs, cradling his cheek in his palm, eyes flicking between his before he slowly starts to lean in, giving him ample time to refuse before he brushes their lips together.  “I think that you’re extremely cute, and I really would like to get to know you better. I don’t, ah- I don’t normally try to pick people up while I’m working, and it’s technically against the rules, but I was willing to risk it for you. I was also very excited to have you fuck me.”

“Oh,” Remus says stupidly, still wrapping his mind around the entire situation, letting out a sigh through his nose when Sirius kisses him again. “I- I’m sorry, I just- Are you saying you want me as a client or like…”

“I’d like to ask you out on a date.” Sirius arches a brow at him as he makes a sort of choking noise beneath his breath, his other hand twitching towards his inhaler like he might need it, dropping it again when Remus shakes his head. “If that’s something that you’d possibly be interested in after this entire mess.”

“Oh,” he whispers, butterflies erupting in his stomach, pulling his lip between his teeth as he nods. “I, um- Yes. Yes, very interested. I- Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Sirius says softly, reaching up to brush the hair off his face, some of the lightness fading from his eyes as his thumb rubs against the corner of Remus’ eye. “I will let you know now, though, I’m not willing to quit my job. The pay is good, the work is mostly fun, and being able to set my own hours is a godsend. If that’s going to be a dealbreaker I’d rather know now before I get my heart broken down the road, I’ve been burned before that way.”

“No,” he says immediately, thinking that his day has taken yet another wild turn, wondering distantly if this is all some sort of elaborate prank. “I’m not, um- That wouldn’t be a problem. I, uh- Monogamy is important to me, but as long as this is just a job and you aren’t normally forming emotional connections to your clients I really don’t see how it would be an issue. The physical aspect of it, um… Well, that wouldn’t bother me.”

“Okay,” Sirius murmurs quietly, giving him another lopsided smile, biting down on his lower lip before his eyes drop briefly to where his limp cock is nestled in the crease of his thigh. “Sorry, I just like to get that out of the way ahead of time these days. So, would you like to go out to lunch with me?”

“I- You want to go out to eat right now?”

“Yeah, why not?” Sirius says with a little shrug, leaning in to kiss him again, cradling his face between his hands like he’s something fragile and precious. “I’d really like to get to know you better, and this is really my only job for the day since my other client cancelled and he generally books in six hour blocks. Plus, I’m hungry, and I don’t think the lone jar of pickles I spotted in your fridge while you grabbed the milk will feed us both. C’mon, my treat.”

“I- Okay,” Remus says, instead of the refusal that was brewing on the tip of his tongue, chest once again going tight as Sirius gives him a brilliant grin, a small part of his brain wondering how on Earth someone would need six hours to have sex. “Hand me my clothes?”

“Do I really have to?” Sirius says, running an appreciative eye down the length of his body as he reaches for Remus’ discarded clothes, and something about the entire situation is so absurd that he can’t help but to laugh. He feels his cheeks flush pink as Sirius gives him a pleased look, quickly pulling on his pants before he shrugs into his jumper, feeling a little more settled now that his soft prick, softer stomach, patchy chest hair, and ragged scars are hidden from view.

“You could stay nude if you like,” Remus blurts out in a split-second moment of bravery, Sirius chuckling beneath his breath as he gives him a wink, turning around to give him a phenomenal view of his arse as he pulls the jockstrap on.

“As tempting as that is, I’m fairly certain public nudity is still frowned upon,” Sirius says, nudging his trousers with the tip of his toe before he turns towards his wardrobe and pulls it open, rifling through his clothes without a care in the world. “I’m borrowing something to wear, I’m not wearing those ridiculous things out and about.”

“Okay,” he says softly, something like fondness curling in his chest as he watches Sirius try to stuff himself into a pair of his trousers despite the fact that they’re far too small, hiding his smile behind his hand when Sirius gets them stuck around his thighs and lets out a bark of laughter that echoes off the walls. 

Lunch goes… surprisingly well. 

It goes better than well, actually, it’s possibly the best date that Remus has ever gone on, laughing so hard that his sides hurt and blushing each time Sirius reaches out to catch his hand, tangling their fingers together with a gentle squeeze. They eat at the noodle place down the street, Sirius ordering enough food to feed a small army, passing the containers between them as they talk. 

Sirius tries to keep parts of his life confidential, explaining that because they don’t know each other that well yet and that with his job he attracts the sort of people he’d rather not know all his personal details, but he does an absolutely terrible job at it, hastily trying to cover himself the first few times before he gives up entirely.

He tells Remus all about James, his best friend in the world and brother of choice, Lily, James’ wife and his third best friend, their son Harry being his second, who he apparently lives with along with his dog Snuffles. He talks about his brother, and his shit family, and the vintage motorcycle that he’s in the process of restoring. He tells Remus how he got into this line of work in the first place, a misunderstanding when he’d dressed a bit too slutty on a club outing and left a hookup with a pocket full of crisp bills, asking around a little before he’d discovered the agency that he’s still with to this day.

He doesn’t have to work, apparently, some sort of inheritance from a dead wealthy uncle, but he chooses to so that he’ll have that money to fall back on if he ever needs it. Remus thinks the entire thing sounds batshit but nods along with him anyway, distantly wondering what it would feel like to just have money set aside before he asks Sirius about some of the tattoos on his arms, smiling as his face lights up. 

Remus allows Sirius to pry some information out of him as well, though he tries to keep the conversation focused on the much more interesting man sitting across the table from him, the two of them lingering long after they’ve finished eating, eventually abandoning their spot when they catch the staff glaring at them. Sirius claims his hand once they’re out on the sidewalk, their tangled hands dangling between them, chatting aimlessly as they wander until they eventually find themselves back near his building. 

“My costume trousers and tool belt are still in your flat,” Sirius says quietly, and Remus happily latches onto the excuse to bring him upstairs again, a little thrum of excitement curling in his gut as they climb the stairs side by side, Sirius shooting him little glances that make his face flush hot. 

He nudges the door closed when they’re back inside his flat, dithering for a moment before he ambitiously decides to lock the door, breath catching when he looks up and catches Sirius watching him with a heated expression. Remus shivers as Sirius steps forward and cages him in against the door, arms braced on either side of his head, eyes flicking between his before he ducks down and kisses him. 

Remus can’t quite help the small, breathless moan that slips from his lips, nor the way he cranes up on his toes to kiss him harder, winding his arms around Sirius’ neck as his hands slip down over his shoulders and sides to his lower back, pulling him in even closer. Sirius deepens the kiss, licking into his mouth before tangling their tongues together, his thigh once again finding its way between Remus’ legs as it presses up against where he’s already straining against the front of his trousers. 

Sirius’ hand is creeping beneath the waistband of his trousers when a thought occurs to Remus and he wrenches himself away, licking his spit-slick lips as he stares up at him, getting distracted for a moment by just how pretty he is. Sirius’ unreal beauty is directly related to his question, however, which gets him back on track, awkwardly clearing his throat as he untangles his hands from his long black hair.

“I, um- Just so that I’m sure we’re on the same page, are you kissing me because you want to be kissing me or am I still technically your client right now?”

Sirius huffs out a little laugh, shaking his head, nudging his nose against the side of his face until he raises his gaze from his chest. “I very much want to be kissing you right now, and you’re not a client, but my extremely attractive date. We don’t have to do anything more though, if you’re not comfortable, I’m happy to keep things-”

“No,” Remus interrupts, squirming a little in embarrassment from how forward he’s being, but he’s already felt Sirius’ hard body pressed against him once and he desperately wants to feel it again. “I, um… No. I’d really like to keep going if you would.”

Sirius just grins, grinding the hard line of his cock against his own before he’s kissing him again, pressing him back against the door as he licks into his mouth. “Very much so.”

They stumble towards the bedroom together, Sirius kissing him every step of the way as he keeps Remus from tripping over his own feet, hooking one finger through the belt loop of his trousers and tugging before quickly undoing the button when he nods in permission. Remus lets out a startled laugh when he’s pushed back onto the bed, his pants and trousers tugged down and off, though his socks remain on, Sirius kissing up the inside of his leg as he reaches out and pinches the hem of his jumper.

“On or off?” he asks quietly, and it’s clear from his tone that he won’t mind either answer he gives him, but Remus wants to feel his skin against his own more than he’s worried about showing off his body, so he swallows before sitting up and pulling it overhead. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

Remus opens his mouth to argue the point and groans instead, eyes falling closed as Sirius fits a condom over the head of his cock and rolls it down his length, collapsing backwards when he takes him into his mouth. It’s instantly the best oral sex he’s ever received, which really wasn’t a high bar to begin with but Sirius is unbelievably good at it, and Remus finds himself already rapidly approaching his orgasm with the first bob of his head. 

“Oh fuck- I, ah, Sirius, I’m going to come way too quickly if you keep that up.”

Sirius just hums around him, taking him into his throat and swallowing, one hand fondling his bollocks while the other wraps gently around his hip, easily holding him in place when he starts to squirm, and Remus is gone. He cries out as he comes, Sirius hollowing his cheeks and enthusiastically working him through it until starts to whimper, panting lightly as he lets him slip from his mouth, pressing a feather soft kiss to the ridge of his hip bone.

“Good?” Sirius asks, deftly removing the condom and tying it off, tossing it across the room where it neatly lands in the trash bin. Remus just knows if he had attempted that he would have managed to get come all over the room somehow.

“I came so fast,” he whines, embarrassed beyond words, but Sirius just huffs and stands, stripping off his t-shirt, borrowed joggers, and jockstap before he climbs up to straddle him, grinding his cock against Remus stomach as he leans down to kiss him.

“It was really hot,” Sirius whispers against his lips, making him whine again, slowly grinding against him once more. “Is this okay?”

Remus is still coming down from his orgasm so his brain is a little fuzzy, but he truly can’t believe that Sirius would think him blowing his load within seconds was attractive in any way, nor can he wrap his mind around the idea that after giving him the best blowjob of his life all Sirius wants is this, rubbing off against his less than toned stomach. Remus opens his mouth to offer him something better, a return blowjob or even his hand maybe, but then his eyes drop, taking in how flushed Sirius’ cock is and how he’s already leaking at the head, his eyes heated and wanting when he looks up again.

“Yeah,” he rasps, faltering before he spits in his hand, snaking it between their bodies and pressing it down over Sirius’ cock, forming a tight tunnel for him to fuck his cock into, which he immediately does with a rumbling groan. “Like that?”

“Fuck, yes,” Sirius hisses, hips rolling as he grinds against him, looking like an actual god above him, hair hanging down over his face as he kisses him again. There’s so much power behind each of his thrusts, and for a moment Remus lets his mind run away with the idea of Sirius fucking him, a moan spilling from his mouth before he can contain it, before he thinks about Sirius riding him like this, moaning again. 

“You’re so hot,” he murmurs against Sirius’ mouth, nearly going crosseyed as he looks down at where the head of his cock repeatedly pokes through the end of his fist, moving his thumb so that it rubs against his head with every thrust. “I truly can’t get over how hot you are.”

“You’re one to talk, have you looked in a mirror lately?” Sirius groans, little spots of pink blooming at the high points of his cheeks, mouth hanging open just above his as he pants for air. “I seriously could not believe how lucky I’d gotten when you opened the door in your little grandad jumper and corduroys, curls all over the place, mismatched socks- Fuck, fuck, I’m going to come. Do you want me to-”

“Come on me,” he says, claiming his mouth, swallowing the noises he makes as Sirius’ hips stutter and warm wetness splatters across his chest. Remus can recognize that it potentially wasn’t the safest of choices, considering Sirius’ career, but he’s gotten the impression that he’s very safe with his clients, and it’s not like he has any open wounds on his torso, so he’s not going to worry about it. He tightens his hand, stroking Sirius through the rest of his orgasm, stilling when he sighs and melts down to lay on his chest, smearing the mess between them. 

Sirius is rather heavy, his lungs concerningly tight as he tries to inhale, but Remus really doesn’t mind, wrapping his arm around Sirius’ back while he lets his come slicked hand slide down to rest atop the bed, getting his sheets dirty in the process. Sirius hums happily, brushing his lips over Remus’ collarbone, and they lay there in contented silence for a few minutes until a thought occurs to him.

“You know that there’s no running water in my bathroom, right?”

“You should really call a plumber,” Sirius mumbles, sitting up with a beaming smile when Remus snorts out a laugh, pushing his hair off his face before he lays his hand on his cheek, gently rubbing his thumb over his cheekbone. “You know, I happen to have my own private bathroom that has working plumbing. I also happen to have a shower that’s big enough for two people as well.”

“Oh yeah?” he asks, a mixture of excitement and nerves simmering in his stomach, gnawing on the inside of his cheek for a moment. “I- Are you sure? We just met a few hours ago, and you said that you live with your friends, so I just-”

“I think I’d like to keep you around for a little while,” Sirius says quietly, eyes flicking between his as his smile softens at the edges, leaning down to kiss him again. “Besides, I think the third date is a perfectly acceptable time to meet my best friends, don’t you?”

“Third date?”

“Yep.” Sirius winks as he sits up, glancing around before he grabs the hand Remus used to help him get off and raises it to his mouth, silver eyes sparkling as he licks it clean. “Me showing up here today was our meet-cute. Lunch was our first date. This was our second. So you going home with me would be our third, right?”

“I don’t think it works like that,” Remus says, amused and feeling rather fond as Sirius slips off his lap and picks up his own discarded t-shirt, smiling up at him as he wipes Remus’ stomach and hand clean before taking care of himself. “But alright, yeah.”

“Yeah?” Sirius asks, his head popping up excitedly as he bites down on his grin, picking up a mini bottle of mouthwash from his toolbag. He tips it into his mouth, swishing it around for quite a while before he spits it back into the bottle, dropping it in the bin. “How many dates before I can ask if you want to be my boyfriend.”

“You don’t even know me,” he says, squirming a little in discomfort, because there’s no world where someone that looks like Sirius should want someone like him, but he’s either the star in some x-rated reality show that pranks unsuspecting people, or… maybe Sirius really does want him for some godforsaken reason. “Six dates, at the very least.”

Sirius nods, counting on his fingers, smile widening as he looks at him. “I think I should have that covered by breakfast tomorrow. Pack a bag, by the way, you’re staying the night.”

Remus just laughs incredulously, sitting up and immediately finding himself with a lapful of Sirius again, wrapping both arms around him as he brushes their lips together. 

“I suppose I can do that if you insist,” he says, pretending to be put out, but nothing like this has ever happened to him and he’s not going to look this gift-horse that the universe has provided in the mouth. He really does like Sirius, and he assumes that he must have some sort of catch, possibly that he’s rushing towards a relationship with someone he met only hours before, but Remus is willing to take the risk. 

“I do insist.” Sirius sits up a little, smiling down at him, weight held on his knees so that he isn’t crushing Remus beneath his weight, before he deliberately grinds their hips together. “I’m also really hoping that you let me ride you later.”

“Yeah,” he gasps, head spinning, absently reaching for his inhaler before he realizes that he doesn’t really need it. “I, um- Yeah. Yes, I think that can be arranged.”

“Good,” Sirius says, smacking one last kiss against his lips before he stands, arse jiggling as he starts hunting around for his jockstrap. “Get dressed and gather your stuff. I’m just going to text James and let him know that we’re having company over.”

“Right,” he says nervously, pulling the blanket over himself to hide his nakedness and scratching at the back of his neck as Sirius picks up his phone, tapping at the screen. “I just have one small question.”

“Sure, what’s up?” Sirius asks, looking up at him as he gives him his full attention, still fully naked with his underwear dangling from his hand, completely at ease with himself. Remus supposes that he would too if he was built like a statue.

“Um… is Sirius your real name, or… I just, I know from like, movies and things that sometimes people use a fake name, and I didn’t know if- Well… If Sirius was your real name or not.”

“My real name is in fact Sirius,” he says around a loud laugh, still giggling quietly as he shakes his head, looking down at his phone for a second before he turns towards him again. “Sirius Black, actually.” 

“Oh. Okay. Great,” Remus says, smiling at him until he realizes that the name sounds familiar, his stomach launching up into his throat before it drops somewhere around his knees. “Wait, Sirius Black like THE Black Family?! ”

Sirius cackles, giving him a delighted nod as he gasps and flails, catching his face between his hands and kissing him again.