Chapter Text
The compound was utterly silent. Vallion scurried out of the kitchen and into the darkness of the halls, his feet tapping against the ceramic floor as he hurried back to his room. In his hands was a wooden bowl filled with soup, held carefully so as to keep a towel between him and the burning-hot surface. After nearly falling over twice, losing just a few drops in the process, the Snivy traveled into the main chamber of the building and through the next hall over. While the soup smelled delicious, it was kinda difficult to see through the steam that wafted up into his face. Whatever, he didn't even need to see. There was pretty much nobody here to crash into.
A gust of wind blasted against a window as he passed by, spraying a violent pattering of rain into the glass. He never minded storms much. They were kinda soothing in a negative sort of way. Just being inside all dry and warm while the rain came down around them was nice. Panne never liked it, though. Rain reminded her of being wet, and she hated that most of all. The wind just made her wet from different angles for all she cared.
He saw the dim light that poured out from the corners of his room before he saw the doorway. With dinner tucked tight against his chest, Vallion peeked around the dividing curtain and adjusted his eyes to the candlelight. Panne sat against the side of the window and stared longingly out into the storm, a contemplative look on her face. She looked uncomfortable with all the bandages and casts on her body, especially the one on her chest. Not only was she down a leg, but she could barely move even her arms with that thing on. As much as he hated seeing her so restrained, it was better than the alternative.
When Panne noticed the Snivy was standing there in the reflection of the window, her entire face brightened and her ears shot up. Whenever he wasn't looking, though, she looked as gloomy as before.
"Hi," Vallion whispered, trying his best to hide the concern in his voice. "I brought dinner. It took a little while to make, though. There's really not much in the pantry, and it's really hard to cook when Swirlix isn't here to magically pull out the ingredients."
She raised her nose to sniff at the air, ears folding back. Apparently her nose didn't mind his amateur cooking skills so much, because she immediately hummed in approval. "Geez, that smells so good! I thought you said this was supposed to be a soup that would help me heal? Medicine is supposed to taste gross! That's not medicine at all!"
"Well I mean, It's just a vegetable soup, honestly. There's mostly carrots and stuff in the broth, but I managed to find two heal seeds to crush in," Vallion let his eyes fall to the floor. "I, uh, hope it tastes as good as it smells. I'm usually not very good at cooking. Especially with recipes and stuff."
She pushed away from the wall and laid towards him. Her expression twitched a bit, so the motion must have hurt somehow. "Well, what are you waiting for? I'm the judge here, and I'm gonna dock you points if I gotta taste that soup when it's cold! Hurry, there's gonna be ice cubes floating around in it if you keep waiting around!"
"Panne, come on. It's basically still on the stove for crying out loud. I'd probably die if I tried to drink it now." Vallion sighed as he placed the bowl down onto the floor, swinging his hands through the air to cool them back down. "You can have a sip, alright? Tell me how it is."
The Fennekin immediately went in for a taste. The simple sip turned into a whole gulp, and then three more greedy swigs. A few giggles poured from her mouth as she lifted her head to breathe. "Not very good at cooking?! Are you kidding me? I've never tasted anything this good out of Swirlix's cooking! You should just become the head cook instead!" Panne went down into the soup again, smiling from ear to ear. Vallion didn't really have the heart to stop her, so he just let her go to town for a little while and glanced out the window.
Rain streaked down the glass in a dozen little strikes of lightning, shifting and twisting around as new drops splat against the pane. It hadn't even been a week since they got back, but he was still so glad to be here. He missed the way this place smelled, and how nice and warm it was. He missed Panne most of all, even if she was right here next to him. All she's done since they came home was lay down and stare out this window. She didn't want him to see how down she felt, but he knew. It wasn't hard to tell.
As Vallion turned back, Panne's whole face was buried behind the rim of the bowl. She literally drank down that entire bowl in the time it took him to brood for a moment. That was supposed to be for the both of them to share.
"Oh," he muttered, a hand over his empty stomach.
"Hm?" She poked her head up and glanced back at him. "What's up?"
"Ah, it's nothing. Don't worry about it." Vallion just shrugged and leaned back against the trunk. "I was going to wait for it to cool down so that I could have some. I guess you kinda haven't eaten all day, though. I'll probably just go make some more."
The Fennekin turned to the empty bowl and frowned, her ears twisted backwards. Realization set in on her face. "Oh. I didn't realize I was eating all of it...I'm really sorry. I thought- Well, I guess I wasn't really thinking at all. Sorry."
"No, no! It's fine! I promise. I probably should have made more, anyway."
Panne laid her head down onto the floor. "You only brought one bowl. I should have just assumed..."
"Hey. Don't sweat it, alright? It's not your fault." Vallion hopped to his feet and started towards the exit before she could find more reasons to feel guilty. "All the ingredients are still out. I can just go make some more and come back. I'll be right back, okay? I promise it's not a big deal."
He pushed through the curtain and immediately smacked himself on the head as soon as he was out of sight. Of course she ate it all. You knew she was that hungry while you were making it! Why'd you only make one serving, idiot? It wasn't that he was particularly upset about not getting his share. It's that Panne was. Maybe he just shouldn't have said anything at all and went hungry.
A tiny noise stopped the Snivy in his tracks. He held his breath for five seconds, then ten, all up until he heard the sound a second time. A gentle sob came from inside of his room. It was barely audible beneath the raging storm outside, but it was ten times as potent. He tiptoed backwards and peered into the doorway, his heart wrenching in his chest as the sobs got worse. Panne had knelt down with her head buried beneath her front legs, her fur doing nothing to suppress the coughing cries that crawled up her throat. An electric jolt struck him with every helpless whimper. What was he going to do? He couldn't just leave her like this!
"...Panne?" Vallion whispered to catch her attention. She didn't even look up, nor did she try to hide it.
"I'm so sorry, Val. I-I'm sorry I'm so selfish..." she managed to say between sobs. "It's all my fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"
Everything that had happened over the past week spilled over in an instant. All of the quiet gloom that filled their room, and all the staring into nothing she did when he was away, exploded into the open. She was positively inconsolable.
"Panne, it's okay! I would've given you the whole bowl anyway if I had known you were that hungry! Please stop crying." Vallion rushed to her side in a flash. He went in to give her a hug, but couldn't find a good angle because of all the casts. The last thing he needed to do was make her hurt even worse.
She looked up at him with shining eyes and shook her head. "I don't know how I got so selfish, Val! I really don't! I should be trying harder than I am and I'm not!"
"What? Hush. You're not selfish. You've never been selfish." He leaned in and wrapped his arms around her head, pulling her into his chest. His chin immediately gravitated towards the space between her ears. She was so fluffy and soft, even like this. "Come on, silly. Everything's going to be fine. I'll even make you seconds if you want some. It's no big deal at all."
"It's not just the soup!"
When Panne realized she screamed right beside the Snivy's head, she pulled away and flattened herself to the floor once more. The next time she spoke, her voice was so soft that it was nearly unintelligible. "I've never been good at knowing how other people feel. Sometimes I just didn't want to care. T-that never really bothered me, but..." After a jarring pause, she leaned her whole body into him, as if unable to hold herself up any longer. "It bothers me when it's you. It bothers me so much."
It felt like Vallion was disarming a bomb. He sat motionlessly, cradling the Fennekin close to him as she shivered with misery. "...It's okay," he eventually whispered back. "I know it bothers you. It's not your fault, though. It's okay to be a little selfish. Everyone does it."
Panne sniffled loudly. "But I'm not just a little selfish! I seriously don't care about people when I get upset. I really just don't..." She turned her head and buried her face into his stomach, speaking into him like a pillow. "Like that Serperior. I really hated him. I still hate him now, but he- he didn't deserve what happened. That's the kind of thing that shouldn't happen to anybody. He was kinda evil, but now I can see how hard he was trying. Reinhardt wasn't even that bad, too! He was just helping his friend! Now they're both gone."
Vallion shut his eyes. He focused on Panne's uneven breathing, almost to the point that he couldn't even hear the rain anymore. "Dedenne never found their bodies, you know. They probably got away. Not that that's supposed to cheer you up or anything, it's just a thing."
"I really hate that guy," Panne muttered, then suddenly fell into a coughing fit. She tensed up so tightly that it nearly knocked him as a result, each cough wracking her torso with an unbelievable amount of pain. Vallion could only nuzzle into her head and hope with all his might that she got better. After the fit followed several moments of ragged breathing, her tears dripping down his scales and onto the floor. She continued what she was saying through gritted teeth. "He sucks. I sucked, too, though. I still suck. Nothing's changed."
"You don't suck! Most of the time you're even more considerate and kind than I am." Vallion didn't even care about how her cast jabbed into his sore ribs, he just hugged her harder. "I bet a lot of people think so, too. You're always the first one to want to help others, and you don't even have to think about it. You just do it. You even...you jumped in front of Alexander's last attack for me."
The Fennekin's voice cracked, a fresh wave of tears rising to the surface. "But that one's the worst of all! I got so scared when you stood in front of me, I didn't even know what to do! The attack started coming and- and I knew you were about to get hurt, so I just- I didn't want that. I don't want you to get hurt at all..." She pressed her face deeper into his chest and moaned.
All this pushing was too much for Vallion hold up anymore. He tumbled backwards onto the floor, with Panne following shortly after. She laid on top of him as another sob wracked her entire body. While his injuries vehemently protested against the new position, Vallion ignored them and pulled her up higher onto his torso.
"How is that selfish?" The Snivy said, slowly ruffling the fur on the back of her head. "Silly, that's the opposite! You almost sacrificed yourself for me! That's the least selfish thing anyone can ever do. And besides, we're both safe now. Its all over."
Her heavy sighs washed over the scales of his shoulder. "I almost died. I was almost gone forever. You would have been alone again and there would have been no way to bring me back. I jumped because I didn't want to see you get hurt, but I almost..."
"Panne." His hands froze up. As much as he tried to keep it down, that sickening memory rose to the top of his thoughts. He could still see her, bleeding out in a bed of thorns, all the life drained from her narrowed eyes. The vision wouldn't go away. It probably never would.
"I promised I would never leave you again!" she cried, nearly sputtering on her own saliva. "When you brought me back from inside of Mew, I said that exact thing. I never wanted to make you go through that ever again! But I got selfish and I almost broke the promise!"
He could feel the sticky blood beneath him still, coating his belly and chest. It was all hers, and it was cold now. Even with Panne right on top of him, he could still feel that dread set in. It was cold and hollow and it made him feel sick to his stomach. When was she gonna take her last breath? When was everything going to end?
She kept going. "Why won't you get mad at me? Why won't you yell at me for being so inconsiderate? It's what I deserve! I'm always holding you back and getting hurt and messing up all the time! I don't even think about what you want! Why don't you hate me?!"
"Stop that!" Vallion shot back, half-choking on a sob in the process. Now he was the one that was shaking, grasping at Panne's fur as if she'd suddenly disappear the instant he let go. "Please, stop. Please. I don't know what to do, I..."
A disappointed hum rumbled in the Fennekin's throat. She shrunk down a little more. "I'm hurting you right now, aren't I? All I end up doing is making you feel worse. I should just stop."
"No! I love you!" It burst out of Vallion's mouth without warning. It wasn't nearly as hard to say as he had thought. "I love you. I love you so much. I'm never going to get mad at you. I'm never, ever going to hate you. I need you so, so bad, and I love you exactly the way you are."
A tiny choke fell from her mouth. Panne looked up at him with puffy eyes, and it was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The two of them stayed like that for a little while, just looking at each other through all the blurry tears. She finally broke the moment with a long sigh, then stuck both of her front paws underneath his back in a loose little embrace.
"I...I love you, too. I didn't mean to go off like that. I'm sorry."
Vallion pulled her up even higher until she could fit in the crook of his neck. The panic died down, his heartbeat gradually returned to normal, and the horrid memories faded into the background and disappeared. It was scary to think about what happened, but she was safe now. He just had to remember that. He caressed her cheek with the side of his hand just to make sure she was real, wiping away at all the tears that had soaked into the fur of her face. She seemed to lean into the motion without realizing it.
"I like you. You're cute."
"Wha- Hey! Don't say stupid stuff like that! That's too stupid! We were crying like just a minute ago! Not cool!" Panne kneaded her paws into his back, causing him to squirm underneath her weight while giggling madly. Once she was satisfied with his punishment, the Fennekin huffed from her nose and shifted into a more comfortable position. "Hm. I guess I should remake that promise or something. I already broke it, anyways."
Everything was tingling like his blood was full of cotton candy. He could barely even feel his injuries anymore. "What? You didn't break the promise at all. You're still here, very much not dead or gone."
"No way, I was totally dead for a second there. Even if it was just for a moment, that still means I left you alone." Panne clicked her tongue, a smile stuck on her cheeks. "Yep. Gotta remake that promise. I don't have any Harmony Scarves or anything to make it on, though, so I think I need to get creative."
Vallion hummed inquisitively. "What's that supposed to mean?"
She lifted her head from his neck and craned over him, their noses centimeters away from touching. It took Vallion a second to realize how close she really was, his heart skipping a beat once he did. "I dunno. We can't just say we've made a promise, though. There needs to be some kinda gesture or something associated with it. You wouldn't happen to know something we could do to make that promise real, would you?"
It was very, very difficult to pay attention. The Snivy started to glance around the room, a bright-red spreading beneath the scales of his face faster than a wildfire. Part of him wanted to wiggle away and hide, as if this was just one of the shameful fantasies he'd been pushing away from his mind for weeks now. He should've guessed that this could happen. He should've been able to imagine her playful little smirk, or how her teasing eyes hungrily lapped up all of his embarrassment. The anxiousness that swirled in his chest had rose up into his throat and made him want to whine.
"I don't know," he finally responded, trying not to shiver with excitement. "Do you have anything in mind?"
"Really? You don't know?" her voice seemed to grin as much as she did. Their noses touched together, but just barely. "You just confessed your love to someone and you don't even know what to do next? I mean, I know you were always kinda awkward socially, but that's just silly! Do you need me to spell it out for you?"
"Grraah! You're making this so hard!" Vallion groaned and threw his head back to the floor. She fell into a fit of giggling at the base of his neck, the vibration leaving a bubbly feeling in his heart that made him want to curl up around her. He knew this part was going to be hard, but it was actually even worse than he imagined. He didn't even know how to kiss anyone! He had no idea what it was like, or what to do, or how to even start a kiss! The Snivy listened to the rain beat against the window, his thoughts fizzling out into wordless emotion every other second. She could probably hear his heartbeat from down there, couldn't she? She knew exactly how flustered he was from that alone.
"I love you, too," Panne whispered once more. The phrase entered in from the scales on his neck and spread throughout his body like electricity. He didn't move a muscle, but he could have ran a marathon on that energy if he wanted. "You're such a dummy! How did you not know figure that out earlier? When you were having trouble sleeping at Sunrise Pass, did you think me coming over there was just out of the kindness of my heart? No way! I just wanted a reason to snuggle with you! I'm selfish, remember?"
Vallion raised his head again. She instantly motioned to put their noses back together, as if urging him to take the plunge. He gasped a little, but spoke up anyway. "Then never stop being selfish, okay? I don't want this to ever stop. I want to be with you forever."
"Geez, you're so cheesy," she accused as her ears fidgeted up and down against her will. The taste of her breath sending his stomach into nervous flips. "Okay, fine! Silly! Dummy! Quit looking at me so...so....I bet you don't even know how to kiss!"
"Do you?"
"Shush! Just hurry up before I get all jumpy!"
She was scared, too. Vallion inched his mouth forward, drawing a gasp from her lips without even touching them. He fought the urge to giggle as he finally closed the distance between the two of them. It was more awkward than he thought it would be. Their necks twisted in strange directions as they searched for the correct place for their maws to fit. Teeth clashed softly, shy tongues met in the darkness, and after a lot of mistakes, they finally started to learn the contours of one another. He didn't feel so nervous anymore. It was supposed to be the scariest thing imaginable, even worse than ghosts and demons, but he felt totally at peace. This was where he belonged.
Eventually they even started to get better. Panne would make tiny squeaks of surprise whenever he did something right, and it was the cutest thing on the planet. They huffed and puffed through their noses just to keep their lips together for as long as possible. Their mouths didn't quite fit together perfectly, either. He really didn't mind it much. Everything was already so perfect that he couldn't find any reasons to complain at all. He loved the soft texture of her tongue and the jagged canines that caught on his. He loved the way she pushed into him for more, even when she had to crane her neck to do so. He loved her. He loved her so bad.
Still, all good things must come to an end. When the both of them finally ran out of breath, they pulled apart and sighed together. As it turned out, kissing was very messy and very, very tiring. So tiring that they had to hold each other very close for support--so close that the Snivy had finally pulled her all the way up the length of his body and rested his cheek on the side of her head. Panne nuzzled into him like her life depended on it, resulting in a lot of unintended aches and jabs that neither of them really cared enough to notice. He didn't know how long they stayed like that. Minutes were passing, but they weren't very important.
"Your stomach's growling," Panne finally broke the wordless trance with a whisper right next to his ear.
"Huh?" was all Vallion managed to utter before he suddenly felt a gnawing hunger that had apparently been there the whole time. A terrible roar came from inside his belly and lasted for several seconds at least. "O-oh. I guess it is."
She hummed happily and poked at his stomach with a paw. "I'm still sorry I ate all of your dinner. Let's go back to Plan A. We'll head over to the kitchen together and make you something, alright? How's that sound?"
"Yeah, I- We?" Vallion blew a raspberry. "What do you mean 'We'? You can barely stand, you doofus. You're supposed to be resting as much as possible so that your bones heal right! What makes you think I'm gonna let you hobble all the way across the compound, hm?"
Panne scoffed and bopped him on the nose. "Either you help me get to the kitchen so that we can make dinner together, or I'm going to crawl all the way over there myself and make a huge mess! No excuses!"
"But- but I'd-"
She covered his mouth with a paw. "No. Excuses. You told me to be selfish, remember? So I'm gonna go selfishly make you some food!" The Fennekin tumbled off of him and attempted to get to her feet in the same motion. It didn't work out so well. She would have fallen over if Vallion wasn't already right there to catch her. She grinned triumphantly and gave him a lick on the nose. "See? You get to be my fourth leg for a while! Now let's get moving!"
For as much as he wanted to scold her, he couldn't help but find himself adjusting his position to support her better as she started walking. The first few feet were a wobbly mess, but by the time they passed under the curtain and into the hall, there was a certain harmony to the way they stumbled along. It was a needlessly painful and difficult march, yet Panne somehow managed to put a slight spring in her step. Even when they had to stop in the middle of the floor to catch their breath, she looked up to him with a lively gleam in her eyes. Vallion watched as her ears perked up and twitched--the unmistakable sign that all was well.