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“You can’t be serious,” Elena deadpanned. She looked at the little girl playing at her feet. Her teddy bears and stuffed animals were the doctors and nurses and caretakers and the single duck plush she had dragged out from the bottom of the toy box was the focus of attention. Elena pretended not to see the way this little girl was abusing that duck plush like her life depended on it. Healthy coping mechanism, for the most part, considering that’s what happens to her on a daily basis.
“Dead serious,” Cucurucho insisted. “It’s so simple, actually. It makes the most sense.”
“You’re asking me to endanger my subject’s life because you can’t deal with your new subject’s whining?” Elena thought he had to be joking. He couldn’t be serious. Bringing Baghera over to meet Cucurucho’s new subject, who had only been here for a day, because he couldn’t stand to hear it’s crying? He had to be joking. There’s no other explanation. “That’s not a funny joke. I’m not doing that.”
“I’m not joking,” Cucurucho insisted. “I already talked to the higher ups. They gave the okay. They should have sent you the email.”
“You’re joking,” Elena snapped. At her side, Baghera flinched and her fist tightened around the teddy bear in her hands. “You have got to be kidding.”
“What’s the harm?” Cucurucho asked. Gods, Elena hated new recruits because they were so fucking stupid.
“The harm is that you could kill her!” Elena said. Baghera was whining now, reaching for Elena to pick her up. Elena adjusted the communicator against her ear so that she could scoop up Baghera and hold her in her lap, the baby hugging her bear close to her chest. “007 doesn’t have the immune system to fight off whatever diseases your subject brings in. It doesn’t even have the immune system to fight off a common cold at this point. Why do you think we have to isolate after being sick? Why we’re stuck here when we catch whatever illness they have when we’re here? Why do you think we get sprayed down with chemicals and change into ‘home’ clothes whenever we want to go home? What the fuck do you think?”
“‘Lena,” Baghera whined. She hid her face in Elena’s shoulder. Elena rubbed her back underneath her wings while Baghera started to cry. The poor thing though Elena was mad at her. Elena was pissed at everyone else.
“I got permission from the higher ups,” Cucurucho said. Like that would explain everything. “They gave the go ahead. Said she was young enough that it would probably be fine.”
Elena can’t ignore a direct order from the Federation. She knew what kind of trouble that would bring. And yet, she really wants to. Baghera is the first successful experiment of Elena’s they’ve had and they want Elena to jeopardize it for the sake of keeping their newest hire happy and compliant. Baghera sniffled in her lap while Elena brushed through her hair. Gods, Baghera is a miracle of science by nearly all definitions of the word. They have managed to completely erase her defects and are using her body in numerous ways now. Elena doesn’t want to lose her. She’s an asset to the Federation. She’s Elena’s baby girl.
“It will kill her,” Elena repeated. She tilted her head against Baghera’s gently, like some sort of mock kiss. Baghera was sobbing by now. There’s no question that she thinks that she’s in trouble. “It is risky exposing her to all of that. It doesn’t have the immune system for this.”
“You’re trying to clone her, aren’t you?” Cucurucho asked, almost annoyed. Elena wants to kill him right now. “What harm does it cause if you’ll be able to make a copy of her whenever you want?”
”You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Elena growled. Baghera wailed, hugging her tighter. “That’s your excuse? Not to mention the fact that we’re not successful? Nor do we know near enough about her DNA or her in order to accurately do such a task. She’s still useful to the project.”
Elena can’t say no. She remembered how overwhelming that first week was. Baghera had no familiar faces and spent days calling, trying to find her old caretaker before she finally gave up, heartbroken. She sobbed for hours on her own before the stress of her new environment finally wore her down enough that she went seeking for Elena’s comfort all on her own. It had taken at least a week for Baghera to stop her calling and another few days after that for her to finally start reaching for Elena to hold her while she was sad. It was nearly two months before they finally settled into a routine and two months after that, they had cut her open for the first time, and definitely not the last, to attach the wings she had now.
She’s practically a scientific miracle. She was the first known living subject who had gone through that. By all means, Elena had made a breakthrough. Given the right circumstances, an avian could be cured of being born with no wings because they had already done it once. It completely altered Baghera’s existence, even down to the cellular level. By all means, she is a miracle.
A miracle that the Federation doesn’t care about, it seems.
”Look, I already talked to them. They already agreed. I don’t know what you want from me,” Cucurucho sighed. “Could you just help? Please? Jaiden won’t shut up and it’s driving me insane.”
And Elena can’t say no. Because she’s opening up the email and staring at the directions right now. Cucurucho is right. The higher ups agreed. Elena hated her fucking job.
”You don’t think Baghera didn’t drive me insane too?” Elena asked. “For two months, I put up with this shit. It had surgery two months later. I hardly got a break period. We’re finally in a routine now and you want me to risk my project because you’re tired?”
”And between then and now you shouldn’t have had anything in between, right?” Cucurucho asked.
”My subject was raped. Repeatedly. I had that entire fucking mess to clean up. That took literal months. Everyone knows this.”
Oh. Oh.
Elena made a fuss. That’s actually what this is about, isn’t it. The fact that Elena made a fuss about her subject. She was hoping that they had just forgotten. After all, Elena had every right to be upset about it, especially under the guise of destruction of property as the primary accusation, but nothing is ever enough for them, is it? They always want more. They don’t actually care that Elena was rightfully angry at the blatant abuse of her subject, just that she had made it difficult for them to continue work while she tore through the place looking for the person who had harmed Baghera. What they did care about was the fact that Elena was treating Baghera like a human in this case, not just property that had been temporarily harmed.
Cucurucho was silent for a moment. Elena can feel the way he’s staring at his own subject on the other side of the communicator. “They didn’t tell me that. I just can’t deal with the screaming anymore.”
Elena can’t deal with the very clear punishment they were giving her for being disrespectful. She has to, if she doesn’t want to make the eventual punishment even worse. They are already whispering behind Elena’s back about how they want to stick Baghera under a microscope and find out what about her makes her so different from all the other iterations of this project they’ve done. It’s not just Elena’s six before Baghera. It’s every other Head scientist they’ve had in this position. It’s all the branches of it with children who couldn’t tolerate it. It’s the adults who lose all function. By all means, the surgery they attempted on Baghera should have killed her. There were too many risks. At the very least, she’d be paralyzed, at the most, she’d bleed out before they even finished. For Baghera to make it out completely unscathed was unheard of.
So long as Elena is here to protect Baghera, then they can’t put her back on that operation table until it eventually does kill her. So Elena can’t let them take her from them. A promotion isn’t going to sedate her this time. All of them know this.
”Fine,” Elena sighed. She tried to soothe the cries from the baby in her arms. Baghera can’t seem to calm down on her own anymore. “We’ll do it. Give me half an hour to calm Baghera down though. It’s having a panic attack. Do you think you can survive another half an hour?”
“Okay,” Cucurucho breathed out. “Yeah, I can do that.” Elena hung up the phone and leaned back in her chair, wrapping her arms around Baghera and hugging her tightly. Applying pressure to keep her grounded in the present while Baghera whined and sobbed, calling Elena’s name.
”No one’s mad at you, baby,” Elena soothed. “It’s not about you, I promise.” She tucked Baghera’s head against her neck and tilted her head to rest on top of it. Baghera sniffled softly, clinging onto Elena. “You’re not in trouble. You need to breathe. Take some deep breaths, baby. You’re going to be okay.”
Bluebird has only been here for a day. There is no telling what it brought in with it. It’s caretakers are adults who have experienced the world before locking down on Quesadilla Island. They can tolerate the illnesses brought in. Baghera has been locked up most of her life. Her immune system wouldn’t be developed enough for this. Best case scenario, Baghera would be fine. Worst case scenario, she dies.
Maybe their methods have gotten better. Maybe it really is safe. Maybe Bluebird is completely safe to be around. Maybe Elena is overreacting.
By the time Baghera calmed down, she was playing with the buttons on Elena’s lab coat, sucking on her thumb. Elena really should break that habit. She’s just really not ready for it. Elena brushed her fingers through Baghera’s hair and behind her ear. Just soaking up the quiet moment in case this just so happens to be the last one they have together.
”Baby, you’re going to go meet a new friend,” Elena whispered. “It’s name is Bluebird and it’s feeling really lonely right now. Do you think you could make it feel better?” Baghera hummed and plucked at the button on Elena’s chest. “007, look at me.” Baghera raised her head, looking up at Elena. “That’s better. Pull your thumb out of your mouth. You’re a big kid now.” Baghera whined and her wings fluttered. Elena can’t get her to hold them right, the down feathers plucked habitually. A nervous tick of hers that Elena can’t make her break. Just like that thumb of hers. “007, thumb out.” Baghera reluctantly pulled her thumb from her mouth and sat up. A hand reached for a wing but Elena snatched it and held it against her own chest so Baghera could feel out her heartbeat instead. “You’re going to go meet a new friend. It’s feeling really lonely right now. So you think you could make it feel less lonely?”
”Yes, ‘Lena,” Baghera whispered. A hand reached out to cup Elena’s face and brushed over her cheek. Elena wanted more than anything to be able to take off her mask and let Baghera see her for once.
”That’s my good girl,” Elena whispered back. She brushed her fingers over Baghera’s cheek. “You’re such a good friend, baby. You’re going to be such a good friend to Bluebird, I just know it.”
When time ran out, Elena scooped up Baghera and held her on her hip on their way down to the quarantined hallway. That thumb found it’s way back into Baghera’s mouth and maybe if they made it out of this without permanent damage, Elena might force her hands into some thumb guards to break the habit. If they make it out. There’s no promise that Jaiden is completely safe to be around.
They were stopped at the checkpoint and Baghera whined, pulling away from the guard that stopped next to them. Elena stepped into the curtained area and set Baghera on the ground beside her. No guards to hurt her here. Clothes had been dropped off for them to change into, completely washed and sanitized. They had to be sanitized as well. Elena can already hear the insistent screaming from here. Baghera glanced back and forth between Elena and the screaming, wide eyed.
”We’re just going to get splashed with water, baby,” Elena soothed, helping Baghera pull off her uniform before removing her own usual outfit. Mask stays in place. The only faces Baghera is allowed to see are the other subjects. “Just getting splashed with water. Just like a shower, okay?” She grabbed Baghera by the hand while the baby whimpered, but Baghera allowed herself to be guided to the next sectioned off area, under the shower head. “Don’t worry. It’s like water. We’ll only be here for a moment. Close your eyes.”
Once they were cleared for sanitation, Elena tugged Baghera out to the other side of the shower and to the last curtained off area, quick to dry her off with the provided towel. Once Baghera was settled with her new outfit and sitting in the corner with a provided stuffed toy, Elena was under the shower head to be able to change out her mask. Gods, this is such an inconvenience. And for what, really? For Baghera to possibly be safe? For a new subject to stop screaming? This is insane.
Once Elena was dried off herself, her new mask covering her face, a new set of dry clothes, and a new hijab wrapped around her hair, she scooped up Baghera again and held her on her hip again. “Ready to go? Do you hear how lonely Bluebird sounds?”
”It’s lonely?” Baghera asked, leaning closer to hear the screaming.
Elena hummed. “Yeah, baby, it’s lonely. It needs a friend. Can you be it’s friend?”
”Mhm!” Baghera agreed. She rested her head on Elena’s shoulder. “I’m a very good friend.”
Elena swallowed the knot in her throat. “You are, 007. You’re a very, very good friend.” Baghera is too trusting. She’s trusting her life in the hands of the Federation. The very same Federation that is making it abundantly clear that they don’t care about what happens to her right now. It doesn’t matter to them if she dies from a disease her body can’t fight off. All they care about right now is getting back at Elena for making their lives difficult.
And hey. If Baghera does die, she might be more motivated to figure out that cloning thing, right? Elena felt sick.
”It’s loud,” Elena hummed, pushing open the door. If Elena could see his face, she’d think that Cucurucho was exasperated. He looked the part, his head in his hands, slumped against the back of a chair. In her crib, Jaiden had thrown herself on the mattress, screaming her head off.
”Make it stop,” Cucurucho groaned. “I haven’t slept at all.”
”I had to sleep with Baghera for the first two months,” Elena shrugged. She adjusted Baghera on her hip. “It was a co-sleeper. The adjustment was hard on it. They get over it eventually.” Baghera stared wide-eyed at the baby screaming in the crib. Baghera hasn’t been in a crib for almost a year now.
“Scared,” She mumbled, pointing to Jaiden. Elena hummed absentmindedly.
“Yes, it is,” Elena agreed. There’s a knot in her throat and panic in her chest. This might kill Baghera and she can’t even protect her from it. And Baghera has no idea. “It is scared.”
“When does it stop?” Cucurucho asked, reaching into the crib to pull Jaiden out. Bluebird went kicking and flapping, trying to squirm her way out.
“It will. Bluebird has to trust you,” Elena said. Jaiden was set on the floor and threw herself on the ground again, screeching and kicking. Wings curled around herself to keep her from having to see anything. “Trust builds time. There are ways. Naturally is better though. It’ll want to follow you.”
Baghera squirmed from Elena’s arms and Elena crouched down, resting her feet on the ground before Baghera could throw herself out. Baghera stumbled over before righting herself and crouched down herself at Jaiden’s side. She poked gently and Jaiden wailed, turning to her back and screaming.
“Sad,” Baghera noted, looking back at Elena. If this is Baghera’s last moments, Elena was going to cry. Here she is, worried about a child that might kill her.
“It is sad,” Elena agreed, swallowing down the lump in her throat yet again. “So sad. It needs a friend.” Baghera turned back to Jaiden and tapped her again, laying down next to her. A wing struggled to open, Baghera having to put focus on it in order to use it, before she used it to cover the smaller girl. A hand rested on Jaiden’s own wing, gently petting.
“Shh,” Baghera whispered. Jaiden turned towards the sound, sobbing. “Shh. It’s okay. You’re okay. Don’t cry.”
“What is it saying?” Cucurucho asked, his attention on the two subjects on the floor. Cucurucho has met Baghera before a few times. The girl was terrified of him most of the time, although she was terrified of most strangers in general. But here she is, putting in the work to do Cucurucho’s job of soothing his subject because he just didn’t want to put in the effort.
“Just calming it down,” Elena said, watching the two closely. Jaiden was easily soothed by Baghera holding it, fixated on the avian next to her. She shivered and whined, but Baghera wiped the tears from her cheeks and let Jaiden roll into her arms. They aren’t the same subspecies by any means, Jaiden is a parrot and Baghera is a duckling, but the way they should behave is similar enough that Jaiden should find comfort in that.
And Elena’s trying really hard not to think about how evil this whole thing is. Baghera could die, just to sob a subject’s screaming for an hour.
“Why is it sad?” Baghera asked, cradling the baby in her arms. She twisted around halfway to be able to look at Elena.
“It’s lonely,” Elena explained gently. “It doesn’t have any friends.”
“It can meet my friends,” Baghera said. “We can all be friends. Shh, baby, it’s okay. I’m right here.” Baghera tilted her head against Jaiden’s and hugged her closer. Elena wanted to scream. This is so unfair. It’s so incredibly unfair. Baghera shouldn’t have to suffer because of Elena. She didn’t do anything wrong.
“That’s very kind,” Elena agreed. “I’m sure it would love that.”
They spent three hours in Bluebird’s room. Baghera helped her calm down before bringing her over to play with toys and finally waiting at Cucurucho’s side, peering into the crib while Cucurucho put the baby to bed. Baghera skipped over to Elena’s side and took her hand. Elena promised that he could call her or email if he needed more advice before pulling Baghera out and away again.
“I like Bluebird,” Baghera hummed, jumping up and down next to Elena while Elena was busy removing her own clothes again for sanitation. “It’s very fun. We played a lot of fun games.”
“I’m so glad,” Elena said, reaching for Baghera’s hand again. Baghera stared at the shower suspiciously. “It’s just water, baby. Just water. Close your eyes.”
By the time they both got through and dressed in new clothes, Baghera was over the day. She tugged at Elena’s arm and reached to be picked up. She picked at her supper, but hardly touched it, and Elena was already in the process of locking her down again. There was a distant look in Baghera’s eyes. More squirming than usual. She never skipped supper, especially when it was filled with her favorites.
At 1:37, Baghera threw up, waking up with a fever of 39 degrees and crying. Elena and the poor evening staff that got locked in there with her until Baghera was no longer ill fretted over her. The sheets were changed and Elena set Baghera in the tub, trying to cool her off in the water before her temperature could rise any more. She was trying to coax Baghera into taking Tylenol, holding her close while Baghera sniffled and cried. Maybe it’s just a common cold. Maybe she can fight a cold. She’s a strong kid, she might be able to do it.
“‘Lena,” Baghera sobbed after throwing up for the third time. Elena rubbed her back gently. “It’s wrong.”
“I know, baby,” Elena promised. “I know it’s wrong. You’re doing so good though.”
Her fever broke when the medication kicked in and returned just as fast when it wore off. Baghera got a few hours of sleep at a time before the illness was forcing her awake again. Elena’s not sure what it is and she honestly doesn’t even care to know. It’s not even that important right now. What’s important is keeping her alive because Elena can’t bare to live through losing someone so important to her life again.
Baghera is a scientific miracle and Elena is being punished for the amount of care she’s showing her.
Baghera spent most of her time sleeping. When she is awake, she’s confused and disoriented. It took the higher ups six hours to convince them that something was actually wrong with Baghera and they needed to send a medical team down to check on her immediately. Immediately being six hours from Elena’s initial call but they did eventually come down.
The evening staff that got stuck in quarantine with them was burned out almost immediately. Baghera was curled up against Elena’s side, panting in her sleep. Elena bathed her again, when Baghera was awake enough. Elena ran lukewarm water over her body while Baghera whined, shivering and burning hot. She slumped against the edge of the tub in Elena’s arms.
“‘Lena,” She sobbed softly, eyes distant and dull. She can’t keep anything down. Elena can’t make her eat anything without her throwing it all back up. She shivered in Elena’s arms in the tub while the evening staff hand helped pour water on her gently. By the time the Federation actually paid attention to the fact that Baghera has spent the past fifteen hours puking her guts out and practically unresponsive, with a fever too high and eyes too distant, Baghera is dried off and wrapped up in bed again, asleep.
She caught something from Jaiden, obviously. They immediately get to work trying to make her better, setting up an IV for fluids and medicating her. Elena brushed her skin with a cold, wet towel, waiting for the fever to break again while they worked. Eventually, all they can do is wait. Watch and wait and see if Baghera will make it.
Jaiden is asking for her new friend. That’s what Cucurucho says. She wants to know where Baghera went. This poor child has no idea that she is the cause of Baghera’s condition. The Federation wants Elena to focus on the cloning part. If Baghera dies, it might be the push she needs. Jaiden’s an entirely different project. She’s here for entirely different reasons. Baghera is not. She’s here for the Federation to try new things on. And right now, this appears to be their new fixation.
Baghera is a miracle of science. By all means, all definitions of the world, she’s a miracle. The way she pulls through this illness is a miracle too. But when Elena watches Baghera pull Jaiden around the toy room to introduce her to all the toys and games, she can’t help but wish Baghera was anything but that.